Fighting with City Hall, Star Cactus Mortality, et

Time, time, time, time time. It's fine. Violators are subject
to a fine. I like doing it, just saying crime that. I
mean, you put anything in a nasally Chicago accent, and it's just you
could really do damage to people's sense of peace and calm around you. Try
doing that in public some time, and it's not a curse word, so
you can't really get in trouble. In trouble for it just be. You'll
be sitting somewhere, like in an airport, everything's come, just blurt it
out randomly, so time it freaks people out. They don't like it.
I know from experience, because I was doing that when we were filming Kill
Your Lawn Season one. Be sitting there with people and uh, you know
out, you know, without next to me, and all of a sudden,
you know, I wouldn't be I wouldn't have said anything for the previous
few minutes and suddenly I'll just time and it just jolts people. It's pretty
funny. I actually got that because well, I think I think it says
in the pocket for you to be a recording of this very thick accented I
assume it was a cop or something coming over the loudspeaker a Midway airport that
would say, you know, it was about smoking and how you can't do
it within thirty feet at a door at Midway Airport, and how violators are
subject to a fang that nasally accented. Just take the vowels. You just
work with the vowels, just like you're forcing it through a nose fan time.
And and I could as I heard this, you know, because I
when I'd be flying into Chicago, you should do it once a month to
see my kid. I would hear it. I'd hear that come on,
and I would just imagine this like pasty almost kind of pink, and like
the mouth of like a fifty or sixty year old guy with this thick gray
mustache above it just like no no nose, no eyes, just the mouth
just just kind of hanging in space, in a void, uttering the words.
And uh, I don't know what that was about. Apparently I have
some sort of psychological trauma resulting from growing up in Chicago Land. But anyway,
welcome to the crime pace of Botany doesn't podcasts. That was far too
long. That Rambo went on too long, But it's okay. It'll be
more of it. I got a couple of things to talk about today.
Not too much botany stuff, just some rants. Well actually there's always a
little botany stuff. But I'm sitting here drinking this fucking somebody sent me.
Some brand sent me this. Uh they wrote me, I think it was
on Instagram saying we'd like to send you a free trial of this coffee,
this mushroom coffee, and said, okay, fine. You know most of
that ship is snake oil, I think, but whatever, maybe it tastes
good. And I gotta get off the coffee anyway because I can only do
one cup. I've been drinking coffee since I was like fourteen or fifteen.
I used to drink ship tons of it. Remember, I'd have this like
thirty ounced mug of coffee. I used to take the high school with me.
It was fucking madness. I think I was self medicating for the eight
D back then, because I wasn't taking a riddle. And I'll tell you
that, you know I was. I was undiagnosed. But anyway, I
gotta get off the coffee. So they sent me this mushroom coffee and it's
actually pretty good. They sent me two bags, and so, uh,
you know, I don't. I don't know that. People send me ships
sometimes and I'm just like, whatever, you know, I'll give you a
shout out, I guess. But I looked at the because I wanted more,
and I wrote them back and I was like, listen, I'll like
mention you on the podcast or you know something, if you just send me
another bag of that ship that was good, you know, like a drug
pusher, you know, like here's some here's some crank. Just try a
little bit, you know, knowing that you're gonna like it, and you
come back for more. And I did like it. It was like Lions
Maine and Racio all this shit, all these fancy mushrooms that supposedly, you
know, will ensure that you live to be one twenty, which if of
course, is horseshit. But I'm sure they're probably not hurting you anyway.
Actually, there's some valid science between the secondary metabolites and a lot of these
fun guys that are beneficial, you know, because funk guy got up themselves
against bacteria and other viruses and organisms in the environment too anyway. And then
of course there's just the you know, unintentional benefits to some of these compounds
that they produced anyway, so unintentional, all of evolutions unintentional, you know
what I mean? Fuck? Oh okay, anyway, so they wrote them
and I was like, hey, and I kind of wanted more. It's
like stiff and a like, give me a little bit more, and they
just said no. I looked at the prices and it's like thirty five bucks
a bag, and you go through a bag in a week, and I
was like, you guys are out of your fucking minds. I'm sorry,
but this is there's no way this ship costs that much to make. I
don't know what kind of profit margin you guys are trying to get here,
but I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna be uh incentivizing it. And so
you know, I got I got a friend that runs a gourmet mushroom cump
and he just gives me ground up blinds made sometimes, which is very nice
of him. But I'll trod I'll trode ad in there. But obviously the
I need to cut down on a coffee anyway. I drink these forties of
green tea and I'll just brew my own loose leaf green tea like in a
fucking pot I'll get like a one pound bag of gunpowder, mix it with
a little bit of sensia. I'm a straight fresa. I'm a fucking yuppie
when it comes to the green tea. I want the good shit I want,
and I want a lot of it. I'll make like it's I'm probably
gonna give myself some sort of you know, diuretic issues. I don't know,
but uh, but anyway, yeah, I make I make green tea
by the bucket and then fill refill these like forty bottles. They're not genuine,
They're not like the actual forties of beer, but you know they're forties
of the green tea. You can get a Trader Joel's or something for like
two books. There used to be a dollar. Those were the day's pale
before they hold the whole inflation thing. But anyway, I was just funny,
man, I was like, they want to send me anymore? What
the fuck? And other news I gotta get I found out. God,
I'm just I'm mentioning all these shitty brands. I'm sorry. I'm not trying
to that shitty company that's everywhere, that's owned by a guy who's built a
blue I like dildo that wants to go to space, you know, the
ball guy that looks like Lex Luthor. Not even gonna name the name of
a company, you know what I'm talking about, though, everyone's got a
goddamn account. It's like Walmart online, but like cheaper quality shit, you
know. And I think that's the benefit is that that's what they're kind of
working on. It is like you're just looking at pictures on the phone most
of the time when you're ordering this shit, so you can't tell what low
quality it is when it gets due. But they've been you know, they're
they're helpful with returns anyway. So without mentioning the name of the company I
found, there's you can go on there and they got some sign company that's
got like a little shop on them and you you can order. You can
order aluminum yard signs, you know what a steak for your yard. So
it looks sufficial and uh And I was looking into this because you know,
I've planted gardens for people. Native plant gardens killed the lawn which down here,
you know in Texas, you need fucking that shit needs to spread more,
you know. I hope I hope it catches on like wildfire more people,
because Texas is the cult of the lawn. They fucking love lawns down
here. They love mowing. They'll mow over your goddamn kids. They don't
care, man, they just want to mow those Those these guys just needed
an excuse to sit on their riding lawn, Moore. Maybe it's the vibrations
on a paradeum or something. I don't know. Anyway, So you know,
plant of these native gardens in the fucking bone heads at a lot of
these city halls. God, I had to go into city hall the other
day. I go in and no offense to anybody, you know, how
they're raised, What death cult they're indoctrinate, What death cult they're indoctrinated in.
But I just I was talking to these ladies. It's at the city
hall, at the fucking permit desk. First off, they're wearing so much
makeup. They look like drag queens. I wish they were drag queens.
I would rather interact. Oh, of course, who wouldn't with drag queens.
When you go into city hall, you know than some you know,
gentile square, you know, uh, it makes you feel like you're at
a fucking bank. Or some bank teller, and it just seems so I'm
like trying to get I'm trying to get a talk to them about permitting issues.
And I went in there once trying to talk about planting street trees,
like between the sidewalk and the street, and I had no luck whatsoever.
I was like, I want to plant trees on the streets so that eventually
they're shade for the street and for the cars. Because and this flew right
over their fucking head because which I knew it would, because it's it's too
practical, you know, because the concrete and the asphalt act like heat sinks
little batteries that retain the heat, and it gets one hundred and five degrees
here in the summer, and it might be a good thing to shade some
of that, which also helps keep the land cooler and the soil retained more
moisture because you're blocking it from the sun. And I can get grants to
do this, and I can plant these trees around and fucking mulch them and
get other volunteers who are down and it's gonna be a really beneficial thing because
the median strip, you know, the strip between the sidewalk and the street
here is too bare, and this just like they couldn't get what I why
I wanted to do it. They couldn't understand why anyone would do that.
They couldn't understand. They said that it's against city policy. And I said,
okay, well, and I'll get back to the point if I can
remember of this story first. But anyway, they just couldn't. They couldn't
wrap their head around it. And I was like, listen, I'm trying
to do something that will make the city more not only more beautiful, but
will help people, and that the fucking citizens who live here. Why I
say city, it's a kind of a small town. And and they just
I just end up giving up because they wouldn't. They said, no,
it's against city code. You can't do that. And I said, well,
can you make an exception, can you? No, we can't do
that. And I said, but there's already a few trees between the sidewalk
in the street. This is like a fucking eight foot stretch of mostly bermuda
grass in most places, and it's dead now because it's not it hasn't rained
here. And you know, two months rain sig minificantly in two months and
it's been one hundred and five every fucking day, which is also unheard of,
having a long stretch of that heat down here. You I've met climate
the niers down here who are like, yeah, it's not normally like this.
It's pretty fucking hot. To have three weeks of one hundred and ten
degree temperatures in southern Texas in June is not normal anyway. And so they
I said, well, the trees are already there. There's already a few
trees there, like natives like Anaqua, already Anaqua, but it's a member
of bragen Asia. It's a big fucking tree produced these berries. There's miskits
everywhere. Mis gits are you see these old miskits. They're fucking gorgeous.
They are beautiful trees. You ever seen an old misky? When I was
living in California, we go down the Mohabb, doesn't you don't see many
big miskets unless they're growing in a you know, a place where water will
actually pull up, which is rare, you know, pull up when it
rains. Most of the miskits in the Mohabby don't get that big. They're
like five feet. So I thought mis gaits were small until I, you
know, saw the ones out here, and some of them are like three
ft across, you know, diameter, breast height, forty feet tall.
Just beautiful fucking trees, undervalued, underappreciated trees. I just got a book
called Misket written by the guy I forget his name, and he's written a
couple other books, but it's called Miskey and Arboreal Love Affair. Anyway,
these are great fucking trees. There were a food source for native people,
there are food source for animals. They're just the fucking wonderful tree. And
they're just so hardy. Man. Some of these legumes just can take such
a beating with the fucking heat, it's insane. You know what else can
take a beating with the heat. Siba pentandra, which is malvasi. You
know, it's those big like bottle trees that are covered in in thorns,
like they're really just bark protuberances cei bah, what's the fucking common name for
it? I forget kpoc trees that call them anyway, they're they're neotropically.
You get them in Brazil, you get you get a few in Mexico.
I've seen them in Sonora. I forgot. I think it was I saw
so the one that looks like an asculist, like a horse test anyway,
grape trees. And you know, I said, well, these trees are
already here planted on the media, and there's an alreadio, there's a misquit,
you know, if it's against city policy to have trees there, which
doesn't make any fucking sense. It's completely impractical to not have fucking street trees.
I mean, it's just the dumbest shit. It boggles the fucking mind.
What kind of double digit IQ you have to have to not want people
planting trees on the median strip. And I said that these ladies who's also
seemed like thoroughly uninterested in doing their job, like one of them is like
looking at a phone like she thought I couldn't see because I was at a
counter. You know, she's like holding it behind the counter, looking at
the phone's like with the probably scrolling on fucking ebayers. I don't know,
man, And I just was, you know, she just didn't. She
was just annoyed and fucking you know, hey, can you look that up
for me? I was trying to look up lot numbers of these properties to
see who owned them and shit, and she was just she was just fucking
I was just bumming her out by being there and you know, needing something
from her while she was her job, which is her job to of course
give information to the public. So anyway, I said, well, those
trees have always already always you know, I said, the trees are already
there. How did they get there if it's against city policy? And I
shit you not. This lady said to me, well, they've always been
there. They've always been there, are you fuck? They've always been there.
They've always been there. They've they've always since the beginning of time,
going back to the fucking to the Precambrian. These trees have always been there,
and so we're just fucking. I just my jaw dropped and I didn't
say anything, and I was just I could like hear the gears working in
this person's head, like you know, to see the fucking cobwebs and the
clunking. I could see belts in need of oil, you know, weren't.
I mean, I saw a machine that was just stressed so far beyond
what it's capello of no offense. I'm being such a fucking dick. I'm
sorry. I have a feeling this woman's not listening to this podcast though,
So it's okay, h And I just my jaw dropped and I just saw
what I was working with, and I just fucking gave up and I just
left. And then I tried calling this this other guy. They gave me
the name of this other fucking guy at city Hall to talk to. I
called him. I must have called him seven times over the span of three
weeks. Never returned my call. I've looked this dumb ass up on Facebook
and found him and he's got like the obligatory like truck selfie, which was
just when I once I saw that too, it clicked. I was like,
all right, well, this is fucking this is like, you know,
this is like trying to, you know, get like a golden nugget
out of a dog's ass. It's not gonna happen, all right. I
could sit here all fucking day trying these these nitwits and it's not gonna happen.
And I might as well just you know, plan B. And so
anyway, the point is, these fucking signs if you have a native plant
garden are available on Scamazon. On Scamazon. They're like forty bucks. I
was talking to Kyle Eibarger Native Habitat Project. I was like, man,
you gotta get on this, and he's like, I know, I wish
there was like a bonfire for these signs. I'm like, fuck, you
would sell You could sell hundreds of them, which of course isn't the fucking
point to sell more bullshit. But the point is to get these out there
so that people can use them, you know, because if you everyone likes
to sign, you get some fucking you know, tucked in shirt city inspector
coming by to fuck with you over your yard and he see it's a nice
sign. You got an aluminum sign in your yard, look sufficial like it
was, like it's supposed to be there, like it's always been there.
Quote. Then maybe they'll back off when they, you know, they see
that you don't have a fucking mode monoculture of kakou you grass or fucking what's
the grass they used down here, Saint Augustine. It's a native grass,
but it's native to the coast that need irrigation inland and inland Texas when it's
one hundred and fifteen degrees for the climate change, that isn't happening as a
result of the structural the structure of the CEO two molecule and the water molecule
and any any what's the call when you got one one atom and then two
on this. I don't know. I'm not a fucking chemist obviously, but
you know it acts like a little boomerang. It takes that heat uh and
uh and absorbs it anyway, so absorbs the heat energy and for red energy.
Guitars start talking about spectrometry and shit, I mean, this is all
valid fucking science. That's what blows my mind is when you look into the
CEO two thing, it's just so fucking like. This isn't a political debate
for me. I made I made a comment during a live stream about climate
change. Someone made the comment and I'm even pleased the people like this,
watch watch crime pays, but they made the comment, don't make this political.
And I was like, this isn't climate change fucking political? Like why
you kidding me? Jesus Christ, Like that's think about what you're saying,
Like, this is science. This is a fucking valid fact of science.
You're arguing with the with the physics behind this, and I think there's actually
a book called the Physics of Climate Change or science anyway whatever, and it
just uh it's a PDF format. I remember that because I was reading it
on tablet anyway. You know, you're alright, this isn't a this isn't
a political thing, but but it's just this, it's just such a fucking
given. And not only that, but like the all the CEO two or
releasing it's all a resort of it's all a result of of shit that already
sucks, mass car culture, burning these fucking forests to create go nowhere,
dead end agriculture that isn't sustainable. Uh you know, it's it's all the
all the CEO two but burning all the fossil fuels and ship which are also
releasing a ship ton of other toxic chemicals. Like it's all things we should
be trying to get past. Anyway, Like I wonder, like it's something
was there a when the horse and buggy got replaced by the car, where
people clinging the horse and buggies this I mean obviously not because cars are better,
but I mean, fuck, solar and wind is better if it's done
right, you know, And I'm not I don't even get into this because
I think habitat loss is a far bigger issue than climate change, And people
say, yeah, well climate change is have it. Yeah, I know,
dummy, But still habitat loss is the big thing, all right,
And it's it's going on right in your backyard. It's the destruction of all
this land because we don't see it as usefulness. It directly benefits us to
put up, especially this go nowhere sprawl shit. But anyway, it just
drives me fucking nuts. I forget how I even got here anyway? Where
am I? I'm like Jack, I'm like my dog, my geriatric dog,
who's looking at me really really concerned. Right now, You don't you
start gesticulating and you raise your voice. You know, these dogs are used
to it by now. But but he's I think he's looking at him because
he wants food home. Let me, let me go give him some damn
kibble. God that that mushroom coffee really does taste like coffee. Like it
almost makes my stomach start hurting because I start to think that like when I
taste it, you know, nice psychosomatic effect, because it I my brain
thinks it actually is the real shit. I gotta get off the coffee man
you get too old. You know it's starting to go on your stomach.
You're gonna get the you know, you're gonna get ulcers and ship anyway.
Yes, So Kyle Kyle from Native Habitat Project makes these you know, Native
Habitat signs, and I was like, man, you should just make a
generic one and figure out a way, like, find someone to ship him
mercy because he can't handle ship. He's got too much ship going on,
just like me. Shipping sucks. I gotta drawn all these fucking books.
I sold some books on the Facebook page, the Facebook page that that this
company created for me, telling me I was gonna you know, They're like,
oh, you get a legal this, lily, you know, And
of course I was like, I don't give a fuck. I'm not gonna
make money. I know you guys are full of shit, but you know,
you get you could operate the Facebook page because I don't. I was
never gonna make one. I hate Facebook and whatever. So they did it.
They created this and now, and then they abandoned it three years later
when they were done, they just milked it and left. They didn't give
me shit until me and l threatened to, uh, you know, make
a bunch of comedy videos mocking them anyway, but they finally gave me an
advance. But that aside, I put on the Facebook page and sold all
these fucking books that I got to draw in. So and it's nice too.
It's like, it's a nice way I've been able to, you know,
I guess make make money drawing, drawing things that I like and through
commissions anyway. So but yeah, so Kyle makes these signs and I was
like, man, just make something generic that can go. You know.
It could be in a yard in Idaho, it could be in a yard
in Florida, could be in a yard and fucking New York state wherever.
Yeah, And he was like, well, I wish they had a bonfire
for that. And I was like, man, there's got to be some
way, you know, someone that you could just you give it to them.
They handle shipping and uh and then they take a cut whatever. But
again, the point wouldn't be to make money, be to just get these
signs out there. So people have a nice, a nice looking sign,
they get the bone heads, it's city hall off their back, you know,
so when you go, you know, you don't have to go looking
for that guy who's in charge of the city beautification project and turns out to
just be some other, you know, guy that got hired on nepotism and
doesn't really want to do his job or care about benefiting the community or actually
beauty quote beautifying the city he lives in. And you find this truck selfie
on fucking LinkedIn or whatever, and then you know, and then you realize
what's going on? What is it with the fucking truck selfies? Javier had
these fucking rayband glasses. I was I was riding with them the other day
and I was like, man, that's so fucking put those on. You
know, I'm like you, you you could You're like, you could easily
do a bit right now, and you could like act up a fucking you
know that. All you gotta do is start shouting, raise your voice,
starts shouting, you know, flip the camera around and film a video like
shouting about something inconsequential of which you don't know anything. And we could do
a bit. This would be hilarious, you know, just get angry and
with a half informed opinion that someone else gave you. You know, it
was so funny. The ray bands. I've never had those ray bands,
but I would get those. You know what I would get, I get
those those Randy Savage, those macho man Randy Savage. Uh, those fucking
rainbow like pulled down nineteen eighties shades that like that are too big and and
only have a rim uptop, you know what I mean. They look all
sci fi elry heads. Some of those. You know, he looked like
a you know, I don't think he was wearing one of those like those
sexty tank tops. You know, you look like a big like gay daddy
bear with these fucking uh, macho man Randy Savage. It was a look.
He looked like a He looked like a macho bear from Florida or something
you see out there on Daytona watching NASCAR. Anyway, the fuck am my
time? What was I talking about? I can't even remember, you know,
I'm all over the place. You're probably used to it now. I
get too turned up. You gotta do these in the morning when the energy
is good, these podcasts that you know, you get a couple of green
teas and you cup of coffee and some of that the mushroom shit. Anyway,
this is kind of funny. I uh, well, it's kind of
dark too, But I shared I shared a video of this guy who this
indigenous dude who does these ceremonies, and he was saying all this good shit,
and I was like, fuck, that's it's it's great, man,
It's so fucking on point. And wasn't that articulate. But I knew what
he was saying, you know, I was talking about like natural and unnatural
ways of living. I should have fucking hell off on this shit. This
is I mean my I think I let my skepticism down. But uh.
And so it was this video someone made I'm on YouTube, and it was
good, and it was him giving this this talk about, you know how
basically talking about the disconnection, the human disconnection from quote unquote nature. I
eat the real world, the rest of the biosphere, you know, instead
of all this scoofy shit we created, like the fucking Chick fil A and
and uh, the big parking lots and all these arbitrary fucking ordinances and laws
and all this. Anyway, So and he was just about having a disconnection
from the landscape that you live on and the not you know, not knowing
the plants and animals there, not having a context for what's native I eat
the native ecology where you live whatever, and uh and I fucking I've found
out later from someone this dude's like a reported creep, like he's a he's
like, uh, you know, he's like one of those like he's one
of those like new age healers. And this is such a trope, which
is kind of why it's so funny to me, at least I think it's
fucking hilarious, but you know, he's it's such a trope that like the
new age healer is gonna like quote unquote heals some fucking and then it just
turns out he's trying to like bang some like sixteen year old girl or something
or whoever, even if they're like, you know, over eighteen, even
if they're like a legal age, it's still like comes off as sleazy and
fucking It's like, oh, it was so disappointing. I was like,
ah shit, I shouldn't known, because I feel like that's been such a
cliche. I mean, what he was it was still cool, and he
might be a good guy on those fronts, but the like, at the
end of the day, he's still just like so many dudes, which is
just like a biological thing. It's just the horny primate, you know,
just like uh, you know, it's just so we're all compelled by this
biochemistry and it's it's there anyway, evolutionarily speaking, and you know that's what
culture does. You control it, like, you know, not to like
try and bang anything with a pulse because your hormones are telling you to do
that. If you're a male, gay or straight, rich or poor.
You see this a lot, you know, but especially with that New Age,
I mean, when you see it in everything. I was talking to
a friend of mine and she was like, yeah, it's not oh,
I said, it was. You know, you see that so much in
the New Age healing community. It could just so like sexually overcharged and sleazy
at least, and all the dudes are just trying to take on that soft
take on that soft tone. You know, they just want to like just
trying to bang anything that moves, you know. And I was like,
you see that so much in a New Age healing community. She's like,
it's not just new it's it's like all man, And I was like,
I know, well, yeah, I fucking no, but I mean but
still like you do see it a lot I remember there was a drawing I
did uh, and I made it into a sticker because it was so hilarious.
I was in like a I walked into a health food store and there
used to be this health food store called Dingle what we called it Dingleberries.
It was called something like Mountain Berry or some dumb shit, I don't know.
It was in Mount Shasta, California. And you it's one of those
places you walk into and it's just like everyone in there is just gleaming,
like rating this like creepy kind of sexually overcharged energy. It's you know,
overly positive, disarmingly nice, but feels kind of phony too, you know,
like the type of like the complete antithesis of like what you would assume
to be a skeptical but also very real, like uh, citizen of like
an East Coast city or something, a complete opposite of that, you know,
just thisingly nice from the start, no skepticism, and just to the
point that it feels weird, like fucking weird. It doesn't feel it feels
like it's sleazy, like they're trying to like they're already like a used car
salesman trying to work on you. That's my in a intuition with that kind
of shit. You know, I'm a little skeptical at first with everybody,
and I think it's good to be like that. People have to earn,
uh you know, your trust to treat everyone with respect, absolutely, but
people have to earn you know, you gotta get a feel for people first.
That's just the way it goes, Just fucking common sense to me.
Anyway. So I went into this this hell food store to get a cup
of coffee and use their bathroom. We used to go in there all the
time because they had a nice They had a real nice bathroom. They had
they had doctor Browners and a fucking soap dispenser. Okay, so that tells
you what kind of place this was. They had a nice bathroom, which
is the gold standard for you know, walking into an establishment, at least
for me. So I went into the spot and they had a bolting board
and it had all these some we would we would fucking read the bolton board.
Me and my friends would go and you know it read the bolton bore
because they had so many hilarious ass flyers. I was working in Dunsmer,
California at the time. This dirty little tweaker infested mountain town that was like
a it was a terminal for the railroad. I would, I would.
We'd take trains from Dunsmere to fucking Klamath Falls. Stay over dighting Klamath Falls.
God, that's a fucking town. Holy shit. They got a nice
museum though, uh. And they got like geothermal wells all over the town,
like just hot ditches all over the town. It's kind of cool and
it's got a lot of cool railroad history and like hobo history and sit anyway,
so non we'd take the train back to Dunsmir, you know, and
it paid shit. It wasn't a great route, but it was easy and
it was beautiful views. I gotta remember coming down north of Black Beach siding.
Oh god, what was the name of the hotlam was the siding going
south at Hotland, past these lava flows, looking at Mount Shasta. Oh
my god. You go down there, you're roaring and dynamic breaks, which
is just engine braking for trains on like a beautiful spring day, and the
fucking wind. It's intoxicating. It's almost like psychedelics. Same thing, the
same feeling you get standing in a fucking Midwest Prairie at sunset on an August
night, which I hope some of you are doing up there. And uh,
anyway, so I was working on a Dunsmere at the time as a
conductor, and so we'd go to we'd end up at this fucking you know,
health food store because it was the only place that didn't sell shit food.
Granted, everything they had was over priced, but you could still go
in there and get a sandwich and coffee, and then you'd get to read
the Bolton board. And the Bolton Board had the funniest shit. Oh my
god, they had. They had bulletin they had like flyers up for like
sensual retreats, and uh, dolphin impersonation. There was like a dolphin impersonation
cult. There were all these fucking Mount Shasta. Of course, I think
there was a Pixie song about Mount Shasta called the Valuia, which is actually
a good song. Not a big you know, alternative rock fan, but
I'm that was a good song. And so anyway, this fucking h the
mountain. There's all these like New age creeps. There no offense to any
of them. They each of their own, but it is pretty creepy that
believe that there's aliens that live in the mountain and all this wacky shit and
just you know, quack science stuff. We're not we're not even really science,
just oh, this weird shit. And there's been you know, they've
gotten in the fights over the fucking hot there's a hot spring on top of
Mount Shasta, because you can drive pretty far up, not on top of
like halfway up. It's like eight thousand feet and I think it was the
Winnimum went to I don't know, some indigenous tribe. It's a sacred spot
to them, and they get into fights with these dreadlocked hippies that would go
in there and stink up the fucking hot the hot spring and shit, and
up at I think Panther Meadows was the name beauty. It's a beautiful fucking
region. Beautiful. It's probably getting wrecked by tourism now, that's what I
heard. A bunch of Airbnbs moved in, rents fucking went up through the
roof, and they're trying to gentrify these small towns, which I guess they'll
have luck at now because you know, you can rent them out at Airbnb's
anyway. A bunch of a bunch of people descended on these small towns,
bought up all the properties, airbnb them when they're not there, and then
use them as like a time share, a free time share when they want
to go and go into town. So anyway, it's getting fucking wrecked there,
like so many beautiful so many beautiful things, once beautiful things, he
says. Anyway, so we'd go in and this fucking again. There were
there were like the Dolts, there was the Dolphin Cult. There was.
It was just the most hilarious shit. Reading this this six foot by four
foot bulletin board, all the flyers on it, We're just fucking gold And
it was like they were a gold mine for comedic material. They were a
gold mine for you know, tropes like the new Age, the snag,
the sensitive new age guy who's really just trying to bang anything that moves,
and so yeah, we just fucking I found this one that was like it
was like some dude, some ball guy talking about who's offering yoga classes,
but they were like sexy yoga classes. And the guy looks fucking hilarious,
like just in no shade to him, you know, whatever the fuck.
I don't even might put these disclaimers out I just because I feel bad,
I'm kind of making I'm having fun at the expense of other people. But
but it was funny. It was funny, and so I took this drawing.
I drew this dude and he looks absolutely out of his mind balkers,
you know, just fucking radiating sleeves. And it said, you know,
hey, they're sister bearer. Won't you come join me in my yoga dungeon?
And then it said creep beneath it? And I made stickers out of
it, and uh, that's I guess. It just brought to mind,
you know, hearing this guy whose words I really liked. He's trying to
you know, he's actually like and I don't I don't think he's like,
I don't think it's like midnight groping status. Like, I don't think it's
assault. It's just sleazy shit, you know, it's just it's just overly
aggressive, perhaps with people that are under age, you know, with like
teenage girls, which is a fucking just such a drag. That's the thing.
I don't. I don't don't don't people to do this shit. I
mean, doesn't it like at a certain point you're like, I don't know.
They just realize it's kind of a stere like they're becoming a stereotype.
Like at what point does this self awareness taper off? And you're like,
yeah, fuck it. I'm like, I'm fifty and this person's sixteen.
What's wrong with it? I'm just gonna go for it, Like, don't
don't you? You know, it just seems like it's a certain point you'd
have enough class that'd be like, I don't want to. It's not that
doesn't look good. If anything, it just doesn't look good. And of
course there's power dynamics and weird fucking you know, these people, these young
people are going to view as an authority figure, like just don't just keep
it in your parents, don't try to bang everything, you know, you
know what I mean. So it's it's again, it's just like male primate
behavior. It's just the fucking just because the biochemistry is there doesn't mean you
should go go along with it and give into it, you know what I
mean? But yeah, I don't know. I don't feel bad obviously for
sharing. I didn't fucking know, but I feel like a dummy, you
know, I should have been more skeptical. It should have been more cynical,
and it's just such a trope. Uh, you know that that sleazy
shit is so common in those circles of which I've thankfully never been a part,
but uh, sexually overcharged new age and or psychedelic healers, you know.
And I guess that's what's so funny about it to me. So anyway,
but you know, God out of side, you know, who is
a fucking who is a quote unquote gangster, a quote unquote gangster of healing,
which I don't even like saying that. The word healing is so fucking
that's a kind of can be a red flag to me too, depending on
how it's used. Healing. I'm a healer, and I don't think they're
talking about the dog, you know, the neurotic dog. It's a it's
an h e A not h e is. Anyway, this this lady Tara
Brock, you know, Lily shared one of her podcasts with me that she
got, called The Reign of Forgiveness, and she kept telling me to listen
to it, and I was like, I'm not gonna fuck, I don't
have time. I'll check it out. Yeah, yeah, And then I
finally listened to one day and I was like, God, damn, this
lady's a fucking Buddhist, you know. And I think, not in any
of the religions, but I think the Buddhists, which isn't really a religion
so much as ninety allergy, I think the Buddhists have it figured it out,
have the whole being human thing figured out more than most. You know,
you get into somewhat at the you know, loving kindness ship. The
meditation, I mean, the whole purpose of meditation, which I don't do.
I'm and I'm terrible at I can't fucking sit still. The whole purpose
of meditation is to be more self aware and aware of your thoughts, to
be aware of that innate human biochemistry that's going on in your brain, because
that's all thoughts are, is bio biochemical responses to stimuli and situations, so
that you don't just act on them, whether it's you know, you're too
horny or if you're angry or whatever. You don't just act on them without
thinking about them. That's all that's the point of meditation, right And also
so you can set yourself on fire in front of the embassy the next time
your government's got a fucking foreign policy response that's causing disasters all over the world.
It's not foreign policy response foreign policy. Let me get a drink at
his water hol on sou anyway. But yeah, so that's the point of
meditate. I mean, it's just just self awareness. That's that's of course
what people can get from psychedelics too. It's that self awareness so that you're
not just running through life, you know, just responding without being aware of
how you're responding, or being without being aware of the outside elements that are
affecting who you are on your thought presses, he's in et cetera. But
anyway, this fucking Tara Brock is to check her out, man, go
on your going your podcast. She's on Spotify and stuff. You know,
those fucking Buddhists. Man, I'm telling you, one day I'll try that
stuff. You know, I'll try that stuff. Supposedly, that graffiti guy,
Mike Giant is a Buddhist, you know him. Used to see his
paintings all over the spots in a San Francisco West when I lived out there.
You know, I remember the first time I went out there in like
ninety eight, there was fucking giant pieces everywhere. Giant was his name.
Now he does tattoos. Excellent fucking draftsman too. By the way, there
was an interview I heard with them. Fuck where was it. I think
it was like a Bay Area It was on Bay Area History with Mike Giant,
and it was fucking great. It was a really cool interview. We
talked about the old tunnels there, the Muni tunnels, which were oh god,
what was the name of a hill? I forget the hill they went
him anyway, it was these tunnels. You could go in because they stopped
running the trains at midnight, but they would still so you go in after
midnight and it was just end to end, like a mile maybe a mile
and a half of graffiti, some of it really good. There was so
much graffiti there. People were painting the fucking ceilings of these, you know,
twenty foot tall cement tunnels and they do it with rollers and shit.
You know, God, it was so cool. It was such a cool
spot, you know, and something you could just go in there, just
walk through the tunnels just to fucking look at the art. It was like
a free out or art gallery that was illegal to be in. It was
nice. You know what, I don't think the cops. I don't think
if you didn't have paint on you too, the cops wouldn't buy it.
To me, it was nuts the first time I went in, because I
was like, God, you're just just sitting there. There's only two ways
out of here. And the cops can you know, if they know you're
painting in there, they can They can bag you really easily. But I
never got I never got hassled there. But anyway, I think it was
the End Judah Tunnels is what they were called, after the End Judah line,
the Muni line. But it was fucking close. But I remember two
when the trains would come through, there were these little it was a tunnel,
but there were these inlets that you could sink into that went like two
feet into the wall and it looked like a door to nowhere basically, and
you'd have to go, h stand up and like lay back against the wall
and you'd be out of sight and out of of course, that's the way
to not get killed when the train comes through. Their forty miles per hour,
the electric line. It was fucking wild, but it was so cool.
And then I think finally ten years ago. They buffed them, they
painted them, and now they just maintain it, like they don't let you
can't get away with that shit anymore. You can't get away with that shit
no more. But uh, that was a really golden age I remember,
you know, I just caught the tail end of it of San Francisco.
It was like after the dot com crash. Well he was there before,
the Giant was painting before the dot com crash, but it was after the
dot com crash when I got there. Right after. You know, you
had Matoki, Slaughter, Margaret Kilgallen and Twist and all those fucking MSK guys
coming up from La painting shit. They just everywhere you look there'd be really
good graffiti and everything, and like really creative spots hanging off billboards, doing
verticals on the sides of fire escape ladders on buildings and shit. It was
cool. But that was that was just a really nice period of San Francisco.
It's like, you know, shit started to get really from like post
dot com crash, like nineteen ninety nine, two thousand to two thousand and
six. That window was just a you know a lot of creativity. The
dot com crashing is what made it affordable, well for all the people who
actually made the fucking aren't there to live there, you know, and everyone
had a hustle, and you would just you walk downtown, you bump,
you know, walk around the city, you bump into a bunch of different
people. You go lurk in a coffee shop and just fucking drug or the
library. You bump into someone at the library, bump into someone on the
street. People just lurking, loitering, hanging out in the street, like
fun, creative, fucking people. It was such a nice for me.
It's such a nice thing to experience. Especially I was looking at my early
twenties and I was like, this is it's nuts too. So many people
will have no idea, especially today, like growing up in the suburbs or
some shit like suburbs of fucking Florida or suburbs Arizona or fucking wherever. We'll
have no idea. You know that life could be like that, just just
art and fucking laughter and fun. And then you know there was also fucking
bummer shit too, you know, drug use and fighting and dumb shit,
all the dumb shit. There's always dumb shit that comes with you know,
all the beautiful things people do, but regardless, was still a nice thing
to h to experience there. You know, there was like a this fucking
squat people started, some friends of mine started on Market Street and Fifth Street,
which is like million dollars multimillion dollar real estate right now. But it
was an old pool hall. They broke into and opened up a free cafe
and like art gallery, completely illegal, but they just did it so out
in the open that no one, the cops, no one fucking questioned it.
And they had a big fucking show there with like, you know,
punk bands and fucking hip hop group. Oh this shit. It was great,
and they ran it for six months until it finally got shut down by
the absentee landlord. He came in to check they were having free Sunday breakfast
and I was, you know, it was fucking wild. They get the
food donated from different organizations or racket or use food stamps or whatever, and
then just feed whoever walked in, you know, rich, poor or whatever
the fuck. But I think most gentiles, most of the you know,
most of the phrases and stuff, if they came in would not be they'd
be a little uncomfortable, you know, unless they already had a little edged
to him, you know, if they've been around, you know, been
around the block. But but it was a really cool thing to witness and
so now and of course now that ship would never happen in San Francisco,
so but it was nice to see. Uh So Uh anyway, I don't
know how I even got to talk about that. I don't even mean though,
that wasn't even on my list of shit to mention. So anyway,
So yeah, but anyway, back to this thing with city Hollow that I
want to talk about it. It's the street trees thing is so important that
if that's one thing in Kyle Native had it, that project has inspired me
on this front to act locally, you know that old, that old cliche
act locally, that's some real shit. At do what you can locally by
doing shit like trying to get you know, street trees planted natives, doing
native plant gardens, helping your neighbors do native plant gardens, spreading the word
out there like that's what acting locally is. If you can fit it into
your busiest day, into your shitty job that sucks. We all have jobs.
It's so I don't know, but I used to you know, I
know it's I know it can be demanding with time, but there's you know,
this is the ship that you could do that actually will change the world,
not just ship posting on social media. I mean, let's be real.
I think we're heading for catastrophe anyway, but we could still do this.
You know, while we're barreling towards the cliff's edge, it's still important.
You know, the fact we're barreling towards a cliff edge shouldn't be shouldn't
affect your behavior anyways. Still do what you're gonna do. It's fucking stupid,
you know, that's a that's a juvenile way to look at the world.
You know, I'm only gonna behave this way because because I think I
want to win. No, you behave this way because that's that's who you
are. It's the SNC, You're fucking persona. That's the shit you like.
Those are the things you like to do, that's the world you want
to create, Those are the that's the world you want to believe in.
You know, that kind of stuff. You don't just play the game because
you think you're gonna win. You played a game because it's fun to play.
If if I can make a lame sports analogy, you're not gonna get
many of those out of me. But yeah, I mean, I just
you know, down here it's just nuts. I mean, the fucking heat
is so insane this year. And maybe it's not climate change, it most
probably is, but regardless, the heat sucks. And so it's you know,
planting street trees, native plant gardens, all the ship that will cool
the landscape from the miles of asphalt, the ocean of asphalt and concrete,
which are just batteries for heat. They just you charge them during the day
with the sun and then they release heat until the wee hours of the morning,
so that the landscape never really cools off. Pretty ship for brain.
You know. Also we can drive everywhere and get diabetes and heart the season
get fatter. Anyway, That's what I miss about Brazil is the fucking the
food was. You could get healthy food. I remember being at a truck
stop I think I mentioned this last time, and there was like healthy fucking
beans and rice and like really good other, really good dishes. You know.
I felt like I was in fucking like at like a Greek buffet or
something like. It was I couldn't believe it, ma'am. They had all
this. I mean, I don't eat me, but I eat chicken.
But they had all this like fancy, like well cooked meat too. It
wasn't greasy. It was like a health It was like healthy food. And
they weren't making a big deal about it. It wasn't like they were trying
like health food. Hell no, it's just just food. The food you
got, it's just it's not Carl's Junior and fucking French fries and it's like
a healthy buffet in the fucking truck stop. It was nuts. And I
didn't see the truckers I saw too, looked fucking five times healthier than the
ones you see here. If you go into a loves or something, you
know, you see like some fucking it's just like really unhappy looking jag,
you know, carrying like a fucking gallon jug a mountain dew, like a
gallon, big gulp of mountain dew, and eating a fucking Carl's Junior.
Oh God, inching his way towards death. You know, But that's fine.
You know, we don't. We're not gonna need workers in twenty years,
ten years anyway, because we'll have AI and everything will be automated and
then you know, just help the people at the top make a little bit
more a lot more. That's the whole thing. I don't get it about,
you know, privatizing shit that should be privatizing essential public services like healthcare
and education, or privatizing fucking jails. That's the most that's the really sick
shit. It's like that profit that people are making has to come from somewhere,
and whereas it's coming from the fucking public and the people who need these
resources. So it's essentially stealing. Basically, it's overcharging for shit for necessary
services so that people at the top who are running these or the people who
are running these companies who are already rich, can have more. It's fucking
demented. What a great way to run things that could only that could only
lead to great results for society. I'm sure, what a fucking unenlightened anyway,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So you know that's yeah, encourage if
you live in these places, you run your mouth about it, be loud,
make the comments in line at the fucking hardware store that are nice,
but about planting street trees, about how lawns are fucking dumb. How you
know? Even just the comment you make, a nice but funny comment you
make in Land, a fucking hardware store it or grocer wherever, could change
someone's mind. Eventually, it's not going to change it right there, but
you plant the seed and they'll remember it that and maybe they'll end up,
you know, vehemently hating it, or maybe they'll end up it'll slowly sink
in. I don't know, but that's how you change the culture. I
did get. I got a nice letter from a fan that I was especially
stoked on last week, said, Hey, Joey, I've been listening to
the podcast while I've been working the yard or driving all over the PNW.
That's specific Northwest for anyone that's isn't familiar who's never been there. I'm an
untrained beginning bidus to decide on a whim after seeing lilium occident, tell that
it would be wonderful species, that it would be fun quote to find all
the Oregon members of lilac. This is nice. I like where this is
going. That's how it starts. You know, you plant the seed,
you get you find that one species or habitat most of them. For most
people, happens with a species or a family that gets you jazz, or
a genus that gets you jazz. In this case, the fucking lily.
Or no, she's talking about a family lily asy, Oh, you had
a calichordis, so she's including the calichordis in there. I had no idea
what I was getting into, but it's been pretty freaking incredible. After three
years, I got thirteen more to go, possibly thirteen species more to go,
not years. What if I knew, You're always wondering what am I
gonna die? Fine, I don't want to know. But if I didn't,
I don't think it's gone. Peter Bernard doesn't think I'm gonna live past
fifty. And I said what, I said, what the fuck might you
know? Because I mean he can he can roast me like that. That's
fine. He said, what the fuck? Why do you think? He
said the way you live? No way? And I said, hey,
you got a point. I guess if I stay in the United States,
I'm not gonna live past fifty. I'll tell you that I gotta get out
of here. This is the fucking it's getting fucking weird here. Anyway,
I'm gonna go to Chile or something. You know, Chileans have some fucking
attitude, but that can be nice too. I'll tell you about the Chilean
granny I sat next to and a flight back from Brazil. She was cool,
man, and she you know, I couldn't understand and half of what
she was saying because my Spanish is only like a half. We can have
a conversation to an extent, but she didn't care. She kept going,
you know, and then we were just and it was great. We had
we ended up having That's how you learn, you know. And she I
think she knew I didn't fucking know half of what she was saying, and
she kept going anyway, and it was good. And I was showing her
plant photos on the phone and shit, you know, all this shit I
saw in Brazil and doing my best to explain the seasonally dry environment of the
Sahato to her. But yeah, so uh anyway, back to the letter,
After three years, I've got thirteen more species to go, possibly only
twelve, since one may or may not be extinct. That reality is of
the anthropacy. Anyway, you probably don't care about a boring, middle aged
white lady. Hey, come on now, don't don't assume getting her kicks
over rare calichordis. So I'll stop talking about myself. I just wanted to
say I enjoy your podcast and it enlivens some otherwise dull hours. Well that's
good, like listening to me run my philly mouth, my silly mouth.
So thanks. My only complaint is that you and Nick Sander didn't coordinate to
say about your trademark signoffs or something like goodbye, I let you go fuck
yourself. Wait, what's Nick Centder's trademark signoff? I don't know, But
anyway, so that was nice. I like getting emails like that. This
is very pleasant. Another thing too, we'll go completely to the other side
of the room. Some guy wrote me about Choya spines and his finger joints,
which is some real shit. I guess he. I don't know where
he. I think he was in California, but he got like two Choya
spines in his fucking finger joints and now he's got he's basically got arthritis,
like I don't know, he's probably just temporary arthritis, who knows, but
he went to the doctor. The skin's not read, there's no infection,
but fuck man, it's sorry. That's some real shit I've had that happened
to me a number of times. I got a parkinsonia thorn in my elbow.
I got precitis. I had to get that shit drained, which I
probably didn't need to get it drained. Eventually just went down, you know,
like a little sack, like a popeye elbow. That was two years
ago. And then I got a spine of something in my knuckle right now,
which may or may not be infected. I don't know. I had
some old cephilexin it's not going anywhere good. I had some old cephlex and
antibiotic that I took five hundred milligrams twice a day, and it dealt with
it for a little bit. It reduced the it felt better for a little
bit. But now it's feeling fucked up again. So and it is a
little red So maybe it is cellulaitis, you know, as staff infection.
I don't know, we'll see anyway. This shit is real, you know,
cactus thorn arthritis. There's actually a paper on it on where was it?
I just gotta fucking I stay down the phone. There's a paper on
it on Google scholar, which is fucking That was kind of a drag.
Three. Yeah, here we go, Okay. Cactus thorn arthritis case Report
and Review of the literature Nice Clinical Rheumatology nineteen from two thousand by E.
B. Miller at al sinovitis. Second theory. The penetrating plant thorn injuries
is an infrequently reported event despite its y geographic distribution thorns from the prickly paricactus.
This is probably not what this happened too. They're just there. This
is obviously a medical doctor that is not a botanist that just looks up cact
this and picks something out of the fucking hat. Oh Optunia, Oh puncha,
they spelled well, they spelled the genus name wrong, so that gives
you a good, good indication of what the fuck where they're coming from.
Optunia ficus indica Opuntia ficus indica are a rare source of this type of inflammatory
arthritis. I think it's choya, buddy. Cylindropuntia is probably a much a
much more common agent of this sort of temporary arthritis or any of the fucking
thorny legumes. In the lower latitude Sun Belt United States, especially in the
western half, we hereby present an unusual case of an individual who developed an
acute mono arthritis and the knee shortly after sustaining a penetrating cactus thorn injury ooh
already or else. The clinical and pathophysiologic features of cactus thorn arthritis are reviewed
in The unusual features present in this individual are highlighted treatment options with an emphasis
on rapid diagnosis and therapeutic interventions. What the fuck can you do if there's
no bacteria in it? Though? You got this little thorn, You just
gotta wait for the body to digest it. It's just embrace the suck and
weight. What is this the fucking railroad, you know? I think that's
all you can do. Which I'm hoping my shit isn't infected. It's red,
but it's not like red infected. It might just be inflammation. I
don't know either way. I don't have health insurance, so I shouldn't,
you know. Ideally, if I did, I would just go to the
clinic. You know, which is it's terrible, especially down here. I
mean, you know what this fucking gross. You see all these private emergency
rooms, they're like emergency rooms that look like a fucking Carls Junior. Like
it's surrounded. It's built in like a bleak strip mall area and it's surrounded
by parking lot on all sides. That's a bad sign, you know,
just like gout, privately run ers, uh, privately run hospitals. All
this shiit see, this is where the US is going down. Man,
it's all this this reagantist ship that started in the eighties. It's such a
fucking you know, you just take essential services and you privatize them. They
become more incompetent, price gouged, uh completely you know, inefficient. I
just uh, this is where we're headed, I mean, is where we
are. But it's only gonna get worse. You know, privatize that where
you gonna make money off fucking every game? You just provide a service.
You just make it self sustaining. Why you gotta make up? Where's all
what's where's all the extra money go? You invested in some shady fucking Ponzi
scheme or something like God, it's it's just so, you know, it
makes you want to puke. It's such a fuck mentality to And is it
ever gonna change? I don't know, Like at some point you know,
United States society just got way more greedier. And I think a lot of
it. I mean it's been happening all along, but I think a lot
of it, especially happened in eighties. Blame Reagan. You know, Hinckley
was right, Hinckley Head a vision, just like the song that was by
a punk band from Wisconsin wrote that song, Hinckley Head a vision. Where
else but Sconsin. You know, Sconsin's given us some wonderful things. The
Frogs was another good band from Wisconsin. That'll blow your mind. You never
listened to the Frogs. It's the weirdest shit. You know, Grandma's sitting
in the corner with the penis in her hand. That's actually a song by
the Frogs, and it's fucking hilarious. It's I mean, it doesn't make
me laugh anymore, but the first, you know, ninety nine times I
listened to it with friends in my teenage years. We were just we couldn't
stop laughing. It was just, I mean, it's just toilet humor.
Its fucking We appreciate toilet humor sung in the style the style of very serious
folk stars. Listen to the Frogs. So anyways, yeah, so cack.
This thorn arth rights is a real fucking thing. That's a drag.
I don't know what what's gonna happen, what's gonna happen, What's he gonna
do? What am I gonna do? I don't know. I've had this
happen before. I've gotten so many goddamn thorn jack eddies. It's okay,
don't worry, We're fine. Go sit down. I gotta walk the dogs
before it gets too hot to be outside. Yeah. So anyway, Oh,
you know what, this is a fucking drag. To last thing I
want to talk about. I'll make this a short podcast, which for me
is still a fucking hour. But do I curse too much? I'm using
the word I just called myself. I'm using the F word too much,
you know, as an adverb and an adjective. Let me know, because
I think it can be a it could be really there's a way to use
it where it's you know, you're like a fine sculptor of linguistics. And
then there's a way to use it where you sound like some fucking sixteen year
old kids. See how I go again, sound like some fucking sixteen year
old kid on the Jerry Springer show. Who's just using it? You know,
well Willie Nilly just wielding that sort around without without any skill or practice.
So anyway, but yeah, more about the Texas heat. I talked
to a landowner. God, she's such a wonderful woman too. She's older
who owns a big private ranch with a bunch of she I think she farms
deer, but they're like essentially free run deer. And then she eventually,
you know, uh, get some traps from somehow and slaughter them. You
know, maybe she got a blowgun. How do you get the deer?
Does anybody use blowguns anymore? Could you get those? There's so many people
I'd like to just you know, tranquilize with a blowgun, like a six
foot bamboo dart, you know, six foot bamboo tube with a little a
little dart on the end and some you know, some plumosu shits, plumos
shits, dot com shits with a z uh to, some plumo shits.
Some Plumo's feathers on the end so that it can it fills up the tube.
You know, she can, it can react to the blowing. You're
what you're blowing on it? You know, you and you just fucking deer
just lays down using on people. You see someone's being essentially obnoxious, and
you just blowgun them with the fucking like a you know, xanax or something,
I don't know, something that knocks him out, some thorozine and they
just go to sleep. They just go to sleep for an hour. It's
like a mute button. But you know what, so many people would end
up using that on me. So many times people have wanted me to shut
up, especially when I was younger, even now. But anyway, I
talked to this this this landowners fucking great, and she would I had last
visited her ranch in twenty nineteen. She's got a massive population of stark star
cactus out there, astro fighting mysterious. She's got peyote out there, she's
got all the cool legumes. She's got Viilla texana that's succulent member of asta
racy. She's got aflon I think it's multiflorum. It's a parasitic plant of
the paintbrush family orobank casey that parasitizes varilla. And it's a super rare one
to understudy. So much stuff is understudied out here. It's really sad in
South Texas and the brush Lands. You ever read that book Audios to the
brush Lands by Arturo Longoria. If not, you should. It's really sad,
but it's good. But he talks about all he talks about the tumor
spread and even back then in the eighties and nineties, you know, and
how he fell in love with this land, this brutal and extreme climate that's
not really a desert, but it's more like a desert woodland that abuts the
Gulf coast. You know, you go on our east hit the Gulf and
there's yucca and hamado cactus Hamado cactus Hamata cantus growing right on the fucking you
know, just thedn' land from the Gulf over there were Elon Musky. Musk
has is that fucking laminated face nerd? Which it's a term I heard Bill
Burr refer to him as because he does he's got a laminated face. Why
does he look like that? Elon Musk? Why does he look like a
fucking mannequin? It's weird, man, And then you put on it whatever
anyway, I'm not whatever. I'm not body shaming, but uh, you
know, you got yucka Drakoulian and all these cool fucking there's a really cool
member of Sellis stracy that grows on the Baja coast and on the Texas Gulf
coast. Down here, it's just a great habitat and it's mangroves and shit,
it's fucking beautiful. You ever go to South Padre and they got some
nice nature spots down there. You know, you should go check him out.
Right there by the little sea turtle. They got like a sea turtle
rescue spot, and they got all this fucking coastal doing habitat and right near
the sea turtle rescue but they got like a boardwalk you can walk out on
and wash these moths. If you're there at the right time, you're pollinating
the mangroves and its South Padre is always like twenty degrees cooler than the rest
of Texas too, which is cool because it's right on the ocean and super
foggy. How did I even get here? How did I get here?
Silver alert? That's what I say about Jack now, because he's he's so
geriatric and sea now he's a seenile dog. I don't know anyway. So
but yeah, so this this property owner has got all these cool plants in
the land, and she let's just come and survey and check them out and
take photos. And I was talking to her and I'm gonna head out there
in November again because it's just too fucking hot right now, it's one fifteen.
That's how I got to talk about the Gulf Coast because it's the you
know, that's what the habitat has liked on here. It's so weird.
It's not really a desert, but it's the transition from the West Texas Desert
to the Gulf Coast, and in between you get the time of Leaping Thorn
Scrub, the brush lands, Thorn Scrubs Sanctuary, which again check out the
Instagram page Thorn Scrubs Sanctuary that we're doing. And we're trying to start this
nonprofit and I had a few people write me about help with it. We
have a fiscal sponsor. We just need to set up a bank account.
All this ship. But the end goal is going to be eventually to purchase
some fucking land and get it into a conservation trust, and you know,
so that it can never be developed, even if you know, the whole
fucking board dies and uh, you know, it's set up a preserve and
a restoration project and eventually ideally an education center with a little visitor's center,
even if it's just a little fucking wooden hut, adobe wall hut that heavy
or built because he builds out of adobe wall stuff, that rammed earth shit.
You know, real nice stuff. He's got a lot of nice stuff.
He's a real talented construction guy. You know. He's got a couple
of guys, guys that you know, he knows, he gets some all
together. They work on stuff. They build some nice stuff. But anyway,
so it's that's what the thorn scrub is. It's the transition from the
limestone deserts of West Texas. There's a little bit of volcanics in there too,
but here it's all limestone to the Gulf coast. And as you of
course, as you go east, it gets more human and as you go
east anywhere in the United States, it gets more humid and higher rainfall.
You get that hundred meridian thing which acts as a good bisecting line between the
arid west and the more music and humid east. But of course, with
climate change, the what I've read is that the forecast is that one hundred
meridian line is gonna continue to move east. So it's gonna get dryer.
The dry the dry to wet line is gonna get it's gonna move east,
you know. So you're like ninety nine degrees. Uh, why fuck?
It's not latitude as longitude is gonna be the new one. I don't know
anyway, you get the point what I'm saying, it's gonna the west is
going to continue to dry out more so. It's it's great fucking habitat.
And she's got a large parcel. It's it's like woodland. It's thick brushland.
It's not a desert. You can't walk through this ship that easily.
You know. You go out and me and Benny used to go out,
you know, rescue and cactus. He'd be wearing chaps and a fucking flak
jacket despite it being like a Filson jacket, despite it being one hundred and
five degrees. The dude was a beast is a beast, you know.
And because you're just getting cut up by everything. If there's a plant that
doesn't have thorns, you can rest assured it's got some toxic as chemicals in
those leaves and stems. So anyway, this this property owners got this wonderful
parcel. It's large, she loves the plant, she cares about it,
which is rare out here. Yeah, and so I talked to her yesterday.
I han't talked to her in a few years. She forgot who I
was. Thank god, she finally remembered. And so we're going to go
out in November and survey and hopefully plant some star cactus out there. And
that's what the nonprofit we want to do is going to do. We're going
to restore habitat. And again, a lot of this ship was inspired by
the stuff that Kyle Eiberger's doing. You know, act fucking local, Act
local, dud. There's so much you can do in your own backyard.
Don't focus on shit posting and all these other bigger ideas. Just work on
the small stuff right near you. That's what you can do. Like he's
doing with that dahlia species, that member of the legume fam What is it?
I forget the fucking what is it? Dahlia? I forget what species
of dahlia it is. But it's a cool little pa and it's federally endangered.
And he's just they're trying to buy up land and just fucking preserve it.
It's awesome, It's fucking great. He wasn't even having non problem.
We don't even need a nonprofit. I just feel like if you get a
nonprofit, people are more willing to donate to you because all that shit is
tracked. You have to report the irs. They know you're not taking the
money and running on a fucking you know, renting a fucking limousine or a
school bus to go to Reno and blow it on coke and hookers or something
you know, you know, or or using it for expense paid vacations to
fucking Tahiti or whatever. This shit, you know, dumb shit cruises and
fucking do you think anyone's ever intentionally brought a neural virus to a cruise?
You know, Like that scene from The Goonies when Chunk is talking about puking
on on stage, you know, the Foretellies. They're like, tell us
everything that you did, and He's like, it was one time I went
to a movie and I just puked. I made a puking sound up on
stage and everybody started puking. Everybody in the audience started puking. I was
awful. And then the foretellies, you know, are like I like this
started like this kid, my I would like him too. I think that's
a pretty cool thing. Depends on the audience, you know, it depends
on who you're making. Anyway, The fucking point is and it's taking me
fifteen minutes to get this across. But I hope you enjoyed all the side
tracks. Is that I thought it was properly and it turns out a lot
of starka because I've actually died from the heat and the drought, which is
what I would have expected anyway, which is just again, you look at
a plant like peyote, and it's got this big fucking tuber, this battery
of a root. You know, ten percent of the plant is above ground
and ninety percent is below ground on the form of the stocky root. That
and that's how it's so that and the alkaloid content prevents it from getting eaten,
doesn't you know, And they help it survive. One that doesn't help
from getting eaten, but helps it survive. The rout enables it to come
back during bad droughts and just die back to the ground, even if the
top dies are gets sunburn, that root is still alive, it'll just resprout.
And then the alkaloid content the which includes mescaline, which payote is kind
of shitty high, no offense, it's not a shitty high, but it's
just it's not even in terms of psychedelic it's not you know, I think,
like you know, mushrooms would be much more illuminating and intense. But
all that aside. You know, truck drivers in Mexico will take peyote it
low doses just to keep them up because it's not it's not a stimulant,
but it makes it so you can't sleep. Well, that's not true.
I've seen people totally false. What anyway, The point is a lot of
astrophy him is dying. The star cacus is dying because it doesn't have that
strong tap root. And it's just I mean, if you know, a
friend of mine was growing astrophied him the seed he got from this landowner actually,
and he was growing him by the hundreds and he didn't sell a single
fucking one. He hates selling plants, which is so remarkable to me,
in such a good indicator of the milkman of human kindness that he is,
and he was just you know, he was growing them. He would give
them, the people the plant in their native plant gardens done here, and
he would his end goal what he was going to do with these five hundred
astrophy him was put them back in the ground in habitat, which, of
course I think that might have changed now since the climates so fucked up and
a lot of even the large plants that our grapefruit sizes are dying. You
know, these these beautiful star cactus that have lived here. God, I
would have loved to see South Texas brush lands five hundred years ago. Can
you imagine? Holy shit, Jesus Christ. Amazing. They got a nice
We were in San Antonio and they got a nice fucking They got a nice
Peacos River ease, I think it. Yet they got like the mannequins,
you know, like recreating a scene. And my kid's mom, who I'm
still good friends with, actually looks like that. She's coal pecking. You
know, she's like half indigenous, and she we were joking around. I
was like, look, Angel, it's you, and I was like,
go stand over there. I took a photo of her like behind, like
she was posing. She was fucking hilarious man. But uh, anyway,
so she looked like the mannequins from the Pecos River exhibit it was, which
is the fucking rock wall paint things Cavid to White Showman. I think I
mentioned this last podcast. That's where they found an actual six thousand year old
peyote button in the cave. Just really fascinating shit, and thank god it
wasn't looted like that spirit I Cave in West Texas was by these private collector
nerds in the nineteen fifties that were looking for gold and threw out all these
valuable artifacts. If you haven't seen that spirit I Cave video, I did,
and you could stay at my obnoxious voice on the videos, which I
assume you probably can't if you've made it this far into the fucking podcast.
But if if you can't, I would recommend going to check out the spirit
I Cave video. It was so fucking cool. And I'll never get access
to that land again because that was just kind of a flute that I ended
up there. And the guy who owns it as a fucking weirdo. He's
some like billionaire CEO who was just letting these of an x CEO of a
company. There's all these rich freaks that don't wait too much land in Texas.
That's like the nature of Texas. It's so weird here man ninety nine
percent private land and a lot of rich freaks that own massive tracks of it
that just some of them are cool and don't want and no offense to them,
and and don't mind sharing the land with people that appreciate it and letting
them come on. But you gotta of course get permission and organize it.
And then some just don't want anything. So it's both. You know,
it could be good and it could be bad. And it can be good
because some of these places get preserved because no one, not even you know,
not even well intentioned members of the public can go there. And then
bad because the land or can do whatever he wants, and that means the
grade the fuck out of the habitat, sell all the plants on it,
dig up all the plants, sell off all these artifacts in the cave.
Like that, there's no state obligation to preserve any of these archaeological artifacts.
If they're on your land, it's your ship. You could do whatever you
want with it. Private property is king it's kind of nuts. But but
anyway, yeah, the Picos River, I'd love the guy. I've never
been in the Cave of the White Showman. I went to Seminole Canyon State
Park ten years ago and saw those paintings, which you have to have two
or four, but I didn't know that at the time. I mean maybe
I didn't. I just went anyway. But the lady that was working end
up being really cool. So you didn't just go down there and without a
tour guide, did you? And she kind of knew I did, and
I was like, no, mass no. She's like, okay, well
I hope not. And then you know, but it was kind of like
okay, wink wink, because I had talked to her before she knew.
I was, you know, genuinely interested in all the plants and biology and
geology out there. But those limestone canyons, man, God, what a
fucking just a treat, just a beautiful setup. And they got that rare.
Oh god. The pistache was a Pistache Tech census the native Pistachio,
beautiful Native Sumac member of the Annacartias, the poison oak and mango family.
And you could go to the Judge Roy Bean Museum. That's where they got
a planted Texas pistachio. You know, I went you, I went there.
They got a nice ac visitor center with a with bad internet, but
it's free internet. At least least they're trying the Judge roy Bean Museum,
roy Bean in Lane Tree, Beautiful Lane Tree, Texas, home of the
nineteen eighty seven uh Perill County you know is a Velverde County softball champs.
Just kidding, not really. I don't think there's anything else in Lane Tree?
Is there there? Maybe there's like a gas they're not even in gas
station, a defunct gas station. Oh God, I'm getting horny for West
Texas. What a beautiful landscape. So anyway, Yeah, so these the
fucking astro a bunch of there's probably been if they happen on this this property
orders land where all these star cactus diet, it's probably happened all over habitat,
and so that species will probably be extinct in the wild at some point,
at least in Texas. There's a larger population down in tom Olipiz,
but I can't imagine they're getting any more rain than we are. Maybe who
knows some of those tubascos. You know, if they if they end up
slamming in, I don't know. You go further south, maybe there's a
little bit more rain, I don't know, but you certainly get a little
bit more elevation, so at least if you're westward from the gulf. But
anyway, that was the that was the pressing thee I kind of expected it,
though, I mean, starcact is just getting hit hard. It's so
sad. There is exponentially more individuals of that plant than there are in cultivation
than there are in situ, in habitat, you know, and none of
these you know, these drug bro people that just that love the shit out
of Payotes seem that interested not nothing, but a lot of them don't.
They only want But again it's a it's a gateway drug. Maybe you know,
no pun intended. You start, someone starts off getting interested in trichal
theories with Payoti, dude, and then they get interested in the habitat and
all the other plants out there. And you spend time in these magical places
and I say that with no irony, truly fucking magical places, and you
start wondering how all this stuff functions, what keeps the soil together. What
micro organisms are in the soil? How old are some of these like covered
legume trees, How are they covered and liking in this life form that's able
to endure these hundred and fifteen degree temperatures for months at a time with no
rain. How do the what pollinates these cactili, what dispersus the seeds?
You start seeing all the other stuff that grows there. That's why keeping the
habitat is so important, keeping it intact and letting people go to the habitat
to see these things, you know, and then thoroughly beating anyone who poaches,
at least poaches some guy. Some guy was hitting me up asking about
lafafra seeds. So where do I get them? Where do I get them?
Where can I find them? I live, I live in this area.
Where can I find them? I was like, Man, I'm not
gonna fucking tell you. I'm not gonna tell you where you can go fight
because I don't trust anybody. And I'm just again that innate skepticism. It's
good. It's a healthy thing, skepticism and cynicism. You've got to soften
it at the right time. But innately initially. Rather it's good to have.
Like some high school casts we were to find peyote. Fuck off man.
You know, you come around, youngster, once you start, once
you learn some other stuff. First look at all the other cool cac guy
that are around there. Go look at a kino serious, any accntus common
fucking hedgehog cactus here in South Texas. You know, do you see anything
cool about that? Is there anything remarkable? Or you just walk by and
ignore it? You know, why don't you start paying attention? Take a
closer look, youngster, and get a little bit of an eight curiosity and
reverence for the land itself. Don't just go looking for the what you've heard
is the psychoactive. This the thing I don't get. It's like bam and
a lot of my native friends would kick my ass for saying this. But
Peyote's not that fucking cool of a high. It's not I like. I
mean, I like it a few times I've had the pleasure of being invited
to a ceremony or whatever. But again, it's something that goes hand in
hand with the ceremony. It's just to use it by itself is kind of
missing the point. That doesn't make sense, and it's not a recreational thing.
And in my opinion, other you know, again, my Native American
church friends would disagree with me. But but I don't know. I just
think that it's you know, the fact that's psychoactive is the least interesting thing
about it to me. That big stocky tap root, that alkaloid content,
all the fifty two other alkaloids that produces those are what's interesting to me because
those are what have evolved as a result of millions of years of evolutionary selection
pressure in this environment. You know, the difference between the West Texas populations
where it's much more barren and much more desert like, to the East Texas
the Southeast Texas populations where it's miskied and thorn scrub. And when did those
two lineages split? You know, you know, obviously the ties that each
of those phenotypes has to the those population, those population phenotypes has to the
the specific climate of each different place. That's the cool stuff. You know,
That's what I would I would love to see that too, as someone
do a full genome sequence, and Alan Rockefeller was talking about this on the
Hamilton Morris podcast. He just did, which I highly suggest you listened to
if you haven't yet, I signed up for a fucking Hamilton Morris Patreon.
I don't know if I'll keep it, but I'll listen to this one month
at least. I like what that guy does anyway. So but anyway,
he talks about this, he talks about how they're they're not they're trying to
not use its the internal transcribed spacer region, which is just a small section
of the genome, and they're gonna try to sequence all the entheogenic aka psychoactive
plants and fungi out there, do a full genome sequence and everything. So
I would love to see a comparison of the full genome of the payote from
West Texas to Lofafer Williamsi from West Texas and Khoila compared with the payote the
Lofafa william Ci from South Texas and tom Alipis, you know, because those
have a tats are so different. I'd love to see, you know,
like, if you hold up how long is the peyote genome? First off,
like four billion based pairs. You hold up those two genomes next to
each other and compare them is figuratively speaking, of course, because it's four
billion letters, but and see where they differ and why, God, that
be so fucking fascinating, Like what what gene regions do they differ at?
What coating areas do they differ at? More specifically, not not just the
non coding, because that's all the variable shit, the conserved regions, the
stuff that can't change without causing you know, drastic phenotypic mutations that might affect
negatively mostly negatively affect the plant, but when they do beneficially affect the plant
can cause new subspecies and varieties and even species to arise. I would love
to see where they differ, you know, and then analyze those areas,
those coding regions. God, it'd be so cool. It might as well
throw Lafa for a frissy I in the mix too, Which is that that
narrow species that that narrow endemic from Coquila I think grows over by Quatro stienagas,
which is a much more beautiful plant and doesn't contain any psychoactive at least
that we know of alkaloids. And then you've got Lofa for Alberto Voechii.
What a goofy fucking name on that he's named after a person obviously, Alberto
hyphen VOTECHII. However, you pronounced that that tiny lofafro that that grows in
the in the lakes, the lakes that intermittently flood down there, and I
think, where is that coheel or something? Anyway, So the point is
you start sniffing around on him. All right, I'm gonna wrap it up
here. I gotta get back to drawing. I got like fucking thirty drawings
to do, and then I got this children's book. It's like a young
adult book. It's called The Word Dragon, and I got to finish the
last illustration for that, and I'm done. I have nine illustrations and it's
gonna be available for pre order an orange Head Publishing, written by David Malone,
illustrate by me. It's my first like commission drawing for a book that's
not my own, which is nice. So yeah, that should be that
should be real nice. I'm stoked it should be. It should be fun.
I think it comes out officially in November. It's for young adults,
so if you get it like a kid in junior high, you get it
for him. And they have my drawings in there. You know, schmuck
that I am, and We'll be filming To Kill Your Lawn Season two in
Chicago, So I'll be in Chicago to the fifteenth. I'm going to Ithacon
speaking in ITHACM the fucking oh god, what is the seventeenth to the eighteenth?
I think is the eighteenth? I don't know. I don't I don't
keep it, you know, I don't keep it a calendar or anything.
I'm not that self important, just kidding. I should just have the organizational
skills. And then I'll be speaking of Cactus store in Lower Manhattan down are
with those nice boys the cactus So those Cactus guys. That was that fucking
this one guy I think his name was John. Oh, I forget fuck.
He was such a nice dude. Not there's a John that works the
cakes. There's another John that gave me a fucking well, WHICHI he grew
in his fucking Brooklyn apartment or maybe his man. I don't know. I'm
probably sucking this up. Such a nice fucking guy, and I'll be heavy
to report that well, WHICHI is still alive, which is hard. I've
germinated those from seeds a couple of times and they've always rotted on me.
It's they need a lot of water, but they rot if the temperatures aren't
right. And it was actually surviving here in South Texas underneath two layers of
shade cloth, like everything is right now because it's just too fucking hot.
And then I gave it to Seuel Ross Seuel Ross Conservatory in Greenhouse and Alpine,
Texas because a friend of mine runs the Greenhouse over there and so and
I just you know, she can take care of it much better than I
can. I'm not around anyway, Yeah, it was. I'm stuck to
fucking go to New York again. It's New York in late September. Some
nights. I'm gonna hit all the museums. I'm gonna spend the entire day
just lurking around, walking around, you know, checking out fucking all the
cool shit to see in a super dense city full of you know, a
diverse array of people and ideas and cultures and fucking art. And you know,
how do I get into the met or at a moment what's it called
one of those art music? I didn't go to a art museum last time.
I want to go to art museums. This time, I'll go to
National the National History Museum, but I want to go to Art Museum too.
Fuck. You know, I wish I could get into the get into
the Natural History Museum for free twenty five bucks man for non New York residents
twenty five bucks to learn it A right they should be. They should be
taxing all the fucking billionaires to pay for the museums and library. Anyway,
I guess it's privately run. That wouldn't work whatever. Anyway, The point
is I'm stuck to go out there and then, uh, and then we're
filming. And we were gonna film Kill Your Long Season two in October in
Atlanta, but I guess they're filming it in DC now, so we'll be
in DC area, I think, like outside of DC, a lot of
suburbs out there and Maryland to film that ship, and so it's probably still
gonna be hot too, well, not this hot, but you know,
so we're gonna be there for two weeks filming and then hopefully I can take
a day off and go to the fucking Smithsonium and the what is it the
National Botanic Garden. Oh, they got they got gliped of strobis at the
National Botanic Garden in DC. I stole some seeds from it last time I
was in there, which is not stealing. You're not stealing if you're taking
fucking seeds from a botanic garden. You know, anybody who thinks differently is
out of our goddamn mind. But they got like three gliped of Strobis planted
on the ground, which is a tropical or a generally at least a subtropical
kind. Offer or some surprise they can survive the winners there, but they
apparently they do. They got three or four of them. They might be
dead. Now, this was a long time ago. I saw the glipt
of Strobis, the glip, the strubles pence silis. Is anybody out there
work for the National bull Tanic Garden? Can you Is it free? If
it's not free, can you get me in or can you show me a
greenhouse or something? I'd be cool to film some stuff there. I gotta
drop some Orberian Budgers at Missouri Botanical Garden on the way to Chicago, to
anyway. I gotta get back and finish all my shit work. But it's
not shit work. I actually love it. But that's all I got for
now, And I hope you got something out of that. If you want
to write me, please keep it short. Don't be offended. If it
takes me two months to reply, I'll try to reply eventually. I went.
I responded to some dude a year and a half after he wrote me
a few days ago because I was looking for something else, searching for another
you know, using a keyword in the search bar on my email account.
I came out. I saw his email and it was still highlighted it I
wasn't read and I was like, oh shit, And I responded to me.
You didn't write me back, not surprisingly, But you know, I've
had a couple of people fall out and a couple of followers fall out over
the years for various reasons, and I I think it's for the best.
I think it's a mutual separation. You know. Fuck that crime pays.
I can't believe what he fucking said. What an asshole? You know,
who knows. But I'm you know, I'm working on it. Some of
that stuff. I feel good about. Some of that stuff I could have
handled better, but I'm trying to. We're always learning. I'm always learning,
but there, you know, I mean, there's some really wack shit
that I'm glad to not be associated with it. I'm glad that the people
who are don't aren't into what I do anymore. That's some real that's some
real shit there anyway. Yeah, but you write me an email if you
want, if you've got something good, plan I D questions, keep it
short, something I can answer in like six or seven words or less.
It's going to get you a quicker response. Advice I'm killing your law and
how to do it that kind of shit, you know. And I'll probably
use voice attacht because it'll be on my phone and so it'll be written with
typos and fucking errors and maybe a random word that in no way relates to
the rest of the sentense. But that's what voice the text does, so
just deal with it. You can decoded eventually. I'm really stretched then for
time and burning the candle at both ends. But I like responding to people
one who have questions and shit like that. So all right, thanks a
lot for your continue to support, have a good rest of the day.
Go fuck yourself by