Working With Your Spouse: The Truth No One Talks About | #31

speaker-0: We were married first, then business partners second. And I think it's still that way today, which is really the truth of how we do it. Our marriage comes first. And we were just doing life together as a married couple. And through that process of learning how to work together as just a partnership of, you know, one unit and leverage our own skill set, we naturally started honing in on ⁓ we're actually pretty good at this and we can help other people achieve this too. So the business came later. The marriage came first. to Return on Design, the podcast where beauty meets strategy and interiors become assets that perform. I'm your host, Rachel Niederhofer, designer, investor, and builder of high impact spaces that deliver real results. Alongside my husband, I run both a design firm and a real estate investment company. where I live at the intersection of creativity and ROI every day. Each week, I'll be unpacking what most people overlook, how strategic design decisions can grow your investment, elevate your lifestyle, and unlock the full potential of your property. You'll get real tools, proven strategies, and unfiltered conversations with industry experts who are doing it right. So if you're ready to invest with purpose and leverage design as a powerful tool, this podcast is for you. We get asked all the time, how do you actually work together as a married couple and run a real business?

speaker-1: It's not something that we planned, but it's something that's just evolved over time and continues to grow.

speaker-0: So welcome back to the show. am your host, Rachel, and I am joined with my co-host. Justin. And my amazing husband. And today we're going to be diving into the most frequently asked questions that we get around being married, working together, how do you do it? And we're just going to lay it all out for our listeners today.

speaker-1: Okay, well then let's get into it. I guess first thing is how did this even happen? How did we get started here? Because this wasn't always the plan.

speaker-0: It was never really the plan. So yeah, let's just take it back. Let's see. For me, I would just remember even before we really had a business and we were new to marriage, you know, I was constantly rearranging or decorating the house and I needed a helper to like help me execute on these visions that I had. And for those of you who don't know, Justin is actually a classically trained engineer. So his brain is wired like an engineer. He thinks like an engineer. Cause he really is an engineer and it's makes just a beautiful partnership because I have this vision and I'll say things like, I want to hang this on that wall. And then I just walk away and he, he executes, he figures out how to actually do it. Yeah. So tell him how has it been then.

speaker-1: Yeah, but it hadn't always been like that. I mean, you know, we've we've gone through this like I want to hang it here. Well, hang it this way. Yeah, I'm an engineer. I'll make sure it's straight and level right where you want it. But I guess into that a little bit more, this wasn't always how we thought we were going to start a business or anything like that. But so how did how did we get into the business? As you said, you were always messing like rearranging, redecorating and things like that. And then we. kinda got into the design and

speaker-0: So it was just an organic process. We were just more, we were married first, then business partner second. And I think it's still that way today, which is really the truth of how we do it. Our marriage comes first. And we were just doing life together as a married couple. And through that process of learning how to work together as just a partnership of, you know, one unit and leverage our own skillset, we naturally started honing in on, we're actually pretty good at this and we can help other people achieve this too. So the business came later, the marriage came first and that's really how it has to be.

speaker-1: Yeah, so I guess that kind of leads into secondary, how do we divide our roles? Like you do what and I do what. And I think it's really a matter of kind of respecting each other's gifts and talents. And you you have vision for a lot of things and I have a separate vision on how to accomplish some of those things.

speaker-0: Yeah. And I would say that that's true for entrepreneurship in general, like good partners in business. You have one person that's usually a little more vision focused and more risk prone. And that would be me for sure. And then, you you have this balance of somebody who's a little more risk averse and.

speaker-1: That is.

speaker-0: I guess you maybe bring a little more practical edge to my vision, because I can get way off in the vision category. You know, the dreams just are always there, always ideas. And you're like, OK, great. You kind of help keep me grounded and filter through some of that.

speaker-1: I'm gonna bring a little bit more of a methodical step two process into reaching your vision or your...

speaker-0: Yeah, which I always say, ⁓ it's your engineering mind, but maybe I'm not giving you enough credit on like, there's a whole lot more depth and layers to why you think that way.

speaker-1: Yeah, well, I think it is just the way that I was I was kind of created to think like that, you know, and, you know, a lot of a lot of vision that you have sometimes really is that I see step one and I see step twenty seven and how and me, I look at it and say, OK, I see your step one. I see where you want to go with twenty seven. But I see steps in between there. And I'm and I try to figure out how to get each one of them. and make sure I'm not missing something. And it's just, again, just the way that we've worked together and we see it.

speaker-0: Yeah, so I guess to answer the question more specifically for our listeners is like, how do you divide the roles? I don't think we have always intentionally even looked at it that way, but the more we've worked together in the business specifically and honed in on our skill set, we're intentional about like exactly what we're talking about. You know, ⁓ Rachel has the vision and the idea. And so if you have questions around that, like this is kind of her lane and When people come to me with like an example, we had a client say, we have a leak. have a water leak in the shower. And I'm like, I just forwarded it to you because, you know, I don't even want to go down that road. It's not in my lane. And so I know I'm going to categorize this here. And that's also part of just keeping your sanity, that sanity factor of I can't do all things, be all things and still excel in my creative lane. So I have to be able to delegate or, you know, this is for you.

speaker-1: And with that though, it's not that there's always a clear, make this decision and do it this way and you do this over here. There are times where they overlap, you know, like there are times where we were working on a project and I got asked a question by the tile guy. Like, do you want to lay it this way? There are times that I know, I know exactly what you're going to say. We've already kind of had this discussion. We've looked at it a lot.

speaker-0: Thank you,

speaker-1: I know what to say there. Yes, do it this way. There are also times where it's like, I'm pretty sure I know what she's going to want, but I'm going to double check because I don't want to get this wrong. Because if I get it wrong, she's going to point it out to me real quick. And not not that you're going to point it out in a in a bad way, but it's like, that's not what that was not the goal with that part. Yeah, I want to make sure it's right. And what and what your vision is. sometimes. I do know exactly what it needs to be. And sometimes it's like, I think, but I'm going to double check.

speaker-0: Yeah. So let's give some context to you for our listeners. We've actually been married.

speaker-1: 15 years next month.

speaker-0: Yeah, we have four kids and so we've been through some stuff together. It's almost like we're we're a unified person. We're not exactly the same but you know somebody who's been married three years it's gonna be a little bit different on how they feel today.

speaker-1: We're working some things out. Let's get there.

speaker-0: ⁓ It's a process you continue to refine and Amen. So, okay, so everybody always wants to know, do you disagree and how do you work through disagreements?

speaker-1: And it only gets better. Well, sometimes the disagreement is pretty small and simple and it's just a, you know, we got to step back here and you know what, you're right. Sometimes we've had some that it's a little, I don't agree with that one. But you know, when it comes to the work that we're doing, I think it goes back to respecting each other's, you know, roles or lanes that we operate in. And if it's a design and, or, you know, question on those, your voice is always going to carry more weight than mine. That's because you are the visionary in that. So I have to like, even though I don't necessarily see it or think about it that way, sometimes I have to trust you and. Yeah.

speaker-0: It's a big thing of trust. But you know, I was thinking iron sharpens iron and marriage that's true in marriage. That's true in business. That's just true in life. And I think that's the beauty of being able to successfully work together and grow as a couple, but also in your business where we're always, if you're not challenging each other in a healthy way, you know, you're probably not growing.

speaker-1: And I would say like, you on that the disagreements are not always bad. You know, because it is a, well, I see this, but I see this because I'm looking from a different viewpoint or perspective than you are. And there are times that I see something you don't and vice versa.

speaker-0: So let's give our listeners like a real example in work. I can think of one right now. We've kind of mentioned the concept of, I will come to you often and say, this is my, know, here's the design on paper. This is kind of what I'm envisioning and this is why. Let's hone in a little further. So we did a project where there was a butler's nook in a kitchen design and there's a window in there, but it was not a massive space, square footage-wise.

speaker-1: Go ahead.

speaker-0: And I really wanted to make it feel open. I don't want it to be closed off. And I want that natural light to really come beaming in. So because I have cabinets in there, kitchen cabinets as part of the butler's nook, but I also have a window and a sink. I'm thinking from a vision standpoint and a design perspective, like I want to keep this open and airy. Now I have an idea in my process and I'm like, I want open glass shelves. almost to look like a bar, you know, a bistro type with exposed metal hardware in glass. So it's going to keep the lighting. so this I'm thinking, taking you through the thought process of where I'm, my vision is rolling in. And then I go to you and I give you my idea and it's like, I'm pitching it to you. This is what I want to do. This is why I want to do it. And so I'm explaining so that you can start to get ahold of like, the intentionality and then I just hand it to you and say, can you do this? And then you usually say what?

speaker-1: Sure. You figure it out.

speaker-0: Give yourself more credit. You go deeper. You're like, give me a minute to think about it. And you start going and trying to.

speaker-1: Yeah, I have to sit down and go through a process of like, okay, based on what you've said, okay, this is what I'm understanding and trying to put my vision to your vision on paper so that I can show you. it's like, okay, we're create this plan. And in me doing that, I'm gaining vision on the steps in between and what I need, what materials, how's this gonna work? How does this get put together?

speaker-0: And that's where your engineering skills. Because I might be saying I want it this size. want this much space between the shelves. So I'm designing it from a scale standpoint. But you're doing the actual structural component of like, how do we actually engineer this and execute it to make it fully come to life? And that is where from how do you define your roles? I don't get involved in that part. I usually say, I don't know.

speaker-1: engineering.

speaker-0: I need you to figure out how to figure that out. is how I want it. And this is why I want it this way. And once I feel like once you grab hold of my why allows you to understand how to execute that. Would you say that's true? Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah, I would say that's true. once I kind of understand why you want what you want, can generally figure out how to make that or how to execute on that plan. Yeah.

speaker-0: So there's an example of how we define roles. Okay, what's the next hot topic question? ⁓ how do you turn it off? ⁓ this is a good one. Meaning like, how do you turn off the word?

speaker-1: when business life and home life overlap or how do we separate that out? I think a lot of times we just, work together all the time. We're together all the time and exactly. I mean, I love, one, I love being with you.

speaker-0: for best friends. Probably should have married somebody who's not your best friend. Yeah. Or if you're not best friends, I can need to work off the best friends real fast.

speaker-1: You know, our work days ebb and flow really when we start, how we started, you start your morning different than I start my morning. And we have to, we've kind of just learned when we can kind of start talking business when we need to. Sometimes I have to, I may have to press something a little bit sooner or wait, but then there's also times in the evening it's like, we've got, we've just got to shut this down. or in the middle when we're dealing with kids. And it's like, we got to put that to the side. And we've just, we've really learned over time.

speaker-0: Yeah, but for our listeners, let's give them some more context. Just be honest, babe. I'm intense. I'm the intense one. You are. I'm very direct. I have more intensity and my passion is a little louder. Typically. Yes. You're a little more. I don't want to say patient because I'm not patient, but you are very patient. ⁓

speaker-1: I'm a little more reserved sometimes in how I express.

speaker-0: Well, and I'm, I have an urgency all the time and you don't. So that helps. Right. But I think it's important for people to understand too, just because we're married and we work together, doesn't mean we're always doing the same thing or we're always at the same place at the same time. I will sometimes be actually more often than not, you know, at the computer doing renderings, planning, sourcing.

speaker-1: Exactly.

speaker-0: all the things that I need to be accessed at a computer and you're more on site executing, right?

speaker-1: Yeah, execution and planning and logistics.

speaker-0: Yeah, really project management from the crew. So we do it together collectively, but we're not always in the same place. Another thing I think is important for listeners to know in terms of how to turn it off, that is difficult for me as an entrepreneur already. Yes. Whether I'm working with you or not, I could just because I love it. I love what I'm doing. It doesn't really feel like I'm working. So it's constantly something I could be spending my time on. And we started this business venture when I was actually pregnant with our fourth, well, that's when we opened our brick and mortar store that we had, but we really started right after I had our third kid. So the kids have been around and one of the beauties of our preneurship and being a mother is we've been able to involve our kids. So I've never really compartmentalized our life in terms of this is work, this is family. is a family endeavor and our kids are included when it's appropriate for them to be and they understand what we do and they get to see and experience.

speaker-1: times they get to jump in and help with a project or they to go see it and they're excited to go do that.

speaker-0: And I think it's true from a spouse standpoint, like we don't compartmentalize like, okay, put down your, your work hat today. Cause we're just going to, and I think that's part of why we are successful at it because it becomes a whole part of our purpose, our journey and we're in it together. And yeah, one more practical thing. Cause I know I talk more than him, but it's fine. We take lunch. Yeah. Meetings seriously. So we might be, you know, in the thick of working on something. And I am definitely where I will keep going, keep going if I don't change my environment. So it's really fruitful for me to be like, you know, we need to go somewhere in a different area, wherever we are, whether we're working in the office or we're on a location. It's like we're going to take a break, change our environment and refocus.

speaker-1: Yeah. And I think we're actually both that way because there have been how many times have you said, honey, you've got to stop because you you start this project and you won't stop until it's done and it's you need to take a break. You know, we're both that way. And sometimes and so, know, we like to take we call them our our lunch dates, our lunch breaks where, you know, we still they're very. Yeah, what's going on and what we're doing?

speaker-0: Talk about inks.

speaker-1: But it's also just a time for us to sit down and change that scenery and take a brain break, a mental break, like step back, breathe and connect with each other, connect in the business and just do things.

speaker-0: Do stuff together. Yeah, I that's the other thing I would really emphasize is making sure you do stuff together. That's not just work. Yeah. Whether it's exercise together, you know, go for a walk, go eat, whatever, whatever it looks like for your interest level. think that's really important. Just in marriage. Yeah. Period. But, you know, obviously people want to know how we work together. So in marriage and business, it's important to like. taking that time to intentionally just be intentional. It's about being intentional.

speaker-1: Let's move to the next next question because you know, we've talked about how do you handle disagreements? And you know another point on that is cannot be disrespectful when you do have a disagreement That is a key piece and I think just in the light be respectful. We can have a disagreement We can move and but we have to be respectful So we're not being we're not personally attacking anybody or each other because that's that's gonna cause problems big time but on the flip side of that is How do you encourage the other and support each other in what we're doing? Because that's also a big key is we've got to be able to lift each other up and keep going. Yeah. Because there's days where it's tougher, you know, trying to figure out how to do this or that.

speaker-0: or you start let's say you start

speaker-1: You know, for me, one of the things that you do a lot ⁓ is tell me how great something actually looks when I've got it done. Or like when you see what I've got going and how it's coming in, you actually catch onto the vision of how I'm doing something. Like there's, there's a joy or a beaming that comes out of you that really encourages me. you.

speaker-0: You need to know your spouse's love language, by the way.

speaker-1: Yes, you get happy and that encourages me greatly.

speaker-0: Great. What else? is it my turn to answer? Yes. Encouraging. I think you've always been really good at encouraging me to, but edifying like what I sometimes don't see. Like that looks really good. Just, think feedback in general, if I had to sum it up, just be feedback. And as an entrepreneur, there's so many times I've wanted to quit.

speaker-1: ⁓ yeah.

speaker-0: And you've always been like, we're not quitting. You cannot quit. You just need to take a nap here. Just take a break. And helping me sort of to that previous question of like intentionally redirect because you can get so hyper focused on something sometimes, especially when you're really driven and pulling each other back when we need to and pushing each other forward when we need to. But I don't know if that's enough depth for. Listeners are on that question.

speaker-1: Yeah, mean, when you work together, so it's very easy to just focus on what needs to be done. What's the next step? What needs fixing? And you can find a lot of negatives when you focus on that.

speaker-0: Yeah, let's go into that for a second. Because I think there's a part of me that tends to do that more naturally,

speaker-1: Yeah, I'm not going to lie there. There times I don't want to send you a progress photo because I know that there are things that are not done and your design eye because you're not there and you're not in the middle of whatever we whatever plan we have going. You see exactly what's not done. Sometimes you're like, you need to fix that and fix that. And I'm like,

speaker-0: So let's the listeners some more context around that.

speaker-1: Okay, so we were working on this bathroom and redoing the entire master bathroom. Well, I've got one wire for the lights. It's still sticking out of a wall. It's supposed to be plugged and pulled back. And I have it there because my electrician has not been able to pull that up yet and read and drop it over to the new location. I know it's there. I sent you a picture of the counter, the cabinets and the counter and the mirrors that are up. And the first thing you point out is why are the wires still sticking out? I know that that's on the list. Do you see that? I've got the I've got the marks here for where the new light goes. That we're just I just got to get my electrician over here to get in and do this. And then I'll patch that and we'll be good. But you see it. You see it quickly and.

speaker-0: do you see it? Or what my clients hire me for. Precision.

speaker-1: It is exactly what they hire you for. I just don't always like to show you in the middle because it's like there are things that I know that you're going to call out and I just really don't want you to call it out because I'm not done with it.

speaker-0: So what would you tell the couple listening to us now about how to navigate something like that, if they're experiencing that or feeling that way?

speaker-1: You know what? You can't always take it personally. Like I look at it like I always just we both have a excellence that we want to provide for our customers and for each other. I want to get everything done exactly the way that you want it and the way that you want it for the customer. And I want to present you a finished product perfectly that you're then going to in turn give to our clients. and you want to do the same thing and you want to design it with excellence and it'd be done and executed with an excellence. And sometimes in the middle of that, we don't always see the excellence in all of it, but we have to remember it's not a personal attack and it's not a personal.

speaker-0: I'm glad you bring that up because we need to live here for a second. This points directly back to the previous question of how do you divide your tasks or who does what? And as you always, you're like the one that always has things, you know, there's more than one way to skin a cat. So as long as we're the goal is the same, the execution or the how we get to that. you have to relinquish and you have to relinquish that when you're working with people, not even just your spouse. Like when we're working with trades, you know, I might tell the tile guy, I want this and every tile guy does it slightly different. Not everyone functions exactly the same way. So you have to trust that we're still reaching the same goal without hovering and micromanaging everything. We can't micromanage each other. We can't constantly micromanage the people we hire. That is how I think we can successfully point to a real world example of I may have mentioned it in the picture, but it still hasn't been changed just for our listeners. Justin didn't go, ⁓ my gosh, everybody stop what you're doing and patch this hole. He just kind of ignored what I said and he knows, yes, it's being resolved. It's in the to do list. Yeah, it may not be in the order Rachel wanted it, but it doesn't mean it's not going to

speaker-1: It's on my punch list of things.

speaker-0: produce the same result that Rachel expects. So it's sort of a, that whole ironing sharpening iron where Justin's like, yes, I'm managing the crews. Like we've got it under control. And I'm like, okay, I just want you to know, like my expectation is that that get done like a week ago. And he's just calmed down. And I was like, okay, maybe we should take a break. Let's go for a walk. Okay. Next question. What is your shared purpose. So this is a good question. And I don't know that there's a shared purpose per se as there is like, I don't know, you let me hear what you have to say.

speaker-1: Yeah, I don't know that there's a shared purpose, but our goal is always to work together and be, you know, present our, our work in excellence. And we want to grow our business and we want to do well. And we want to provide the services and the products.

speaker-0: But we're talking about marriage. So let's focus on that.

speaker-1: Okay, go on, she started on that then.

speaker-0: I think the shared purpose, if I had to point to one, would be building legacy. Like we're legacy minded people. It's the same when we're working on projects. We're building assets. We're not just here to do temporary things. There's a longevity. And I think the same is true with us leveraging our skillset together. It's like we're building a future for our family and something that has longevity and impact beyond just you and I, whether we're impacting the lives of the people we're serving or we're positioning, you know, the next generation. mean, that's the purpose to me is to like advance and move the needle in positive way to the next generation because you don't have to work together with your spouse. But when you do, you know, if you're given an opportunity, whether you do it professionally or kind of on side. it's really a powerful thing because, you know, two become one. It's like an engine power. Part of getting married is actually accelerating your life to the next level and is a continual thing.

speaker-1: I don't know, I think you kind of really put that together really well. I would have kind of kept going around, know, I'd have made a mountain out of a molehill on that question, so.

speaker-0: Okay, then let's go into what the next, this is what are each of you great at and what are you weak at? So.

speaker-1: So you, I would have to say, if I'm gonna answer this, is what is Rachel? I'm assuming that's what you're getting at here. ⁓ so you have a lot of vision. like I said, you see big picture, you see the start, you see what potentials are out there. And you do that in not just our business, but in our home and our family. And you have a great vision and you are... You're you're an animal when you go after something like when you put your mind to it. There's there's very little that's going to stop you. If anything, you're determined and I love that your weakness. I would say sometimes it's a little bit of grace. You're a little quick to shut something down. Whereas sometimes I'm a little like, hey, let's let's see. Let's work through this a little bit here.

speaker-0: Your weakness is what you trust. Yeah. Yeah, give people more context to that. Just so our listeners.

speaker-1: And look, there there have been times and projects and passwords like you didn't do that to my expectation. You're done. Now I go, you know, you're fired. Goodbye. You know, Donald Trump, you're fired. You know, me, I'm like, all right, look, let's fix this. Let's get it. You know, you I can be a little bit slower to that. But when I get there, then I'm done when I'm when I cut off, I'm I'm done.

speaker-0: Yeah, like, fired. Okay, so I get to answer for you, yeah. You, yes, are definitely good at like, just being patient, I said that before, but also like merciful. You give people your very relationship oriented naturally. So that's what makes you such a good leader and being able to lead people and, you know, whatever goal that's a task is you can kind of cut through noise and

speaker-1: Okay.

speaker-0: see the good even if they're not exhibiting the good. And so you're just more merciful and gracious, which really helps build relationships and build teams and keep retention versus me. You've already pointed that out, but let's not talk about unpleasant things. Weaknesses. Hmm. I don't know. I don't want to call it a distraction, but you disappear sometimes. And by sometimes I mean a lot. Where we'll be in the kitchen and I'm you know, doing whatever, cooking, and Justin just leaves. And it takes me 20 minutes. I'm like, where did dad go? I don't know where he went.

speaker-1: I went outside to take care of this project because it is on-

speaker-0: You tinker.

speaker-1: But there's always something that needs to be done.

speaker-0: Yeah, yeah. But I would say maybe that's a weakness just in terms of starting, finishing, maybe. I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe that's bad example. But at least it's a funny one for for our listeners. Because I'm sure other people's husbands do that, too. We're like, where did you go? He's like, oh, I decided to just, you know, finish this project or I was thinking about this for this project. And now I'm trying to figure out how to do it. And I'm like, right now.

speaker-1: Yeah

speaker-0: Like just, you just stopped everything right now. That's what you're doing. It's like, yes, that's what I'm doing. Okay, well we were, we were in here cooking, so maybe you should come back. Let's finish what we were.

speaker-1: I kind of thought she's cooking. I'm going to go take care of it. It needs to be done. yeah. I mean, yeah, there are times I'm just prepping for tomorrow. You know what I got to get done. Yeah. Let me go grab these tools, this in my truck. Yeah, let's pick this up.

speaker-0: Or I need this material, so I'm gonna go run out and get it. And I'm like, no, we don't have to go get that right now. You can wait till the next day.

speaker-1: I do that sometimes. I feel like I gotta have everything.

speaker-0: I wouldn't necessarily really say it's a weakness, but for the sake of the question, we have to point something out. All right, off to the next.

speaker-1: Okay, good cop, bad cop. Do we play this or not? Really don't think we do. I don't think there's a good cop, bad cop. think, you know, okay, going back to this, you know, good cop, bad cop. Yes, I can be a little bit more merciful towards things and I can let a few more things slide. Sometimes you're a little quicker to cut things off. And I think there are times where your method is the better method.

speaker-0: Yeah. I don't think so.

speaker-1: And there are times where mine is and we have we discuss this regularly.

speaker-0: I really think this is a question that we should be asking the people who work for us. Yeah, you'd probably get a little better like category in terms of, ⁓ she showed up or just and say, the designer's coming by, you better get that done. You know, maybe something like that, but I agree. don't think we really.

speaker-1: That probably. I don't ⁓

speaker-0: What other tips or information do you think is valuable for people to understand? If they're working with their spouse now or maybe they have a vision for a business or whatever that they're trying to get to that point, what is some good advice starting out that you would provide? Because we did come to the realization early on and I don't know if we... We told the listeners enough, but this was not like a... thing.

speaker-1: We didn't plan doing these businesses and run things in this manner. It has definitely been something that has evolved over time. think in doing it, no matter what, if this is just, you know, from my standpoint, I saw that you had a vision and I supported it because I saw the potential in you and I saw what I guess I took hold of your vision. And it got down to me and I was like, okay, yes, I see. I believe you can do this. I, you know, you're actually really good at this. I've watched you do the decoration and the redesign of our own homes for years. And you do, you do really good work. And so when you started in this, it's like, okay, you know, I'm still working in corporate engineering, but I see something in you and it's a passion you have and I can support that. And I think that's one of the big key things is like, if you're doing this, or your spouse's, you've got to be supportive, you know, and respectful about it. there are people I remember early on to like, people were like, you showed up and yeah, we started some of this. We just had our third child. We opened brick and mortar just after we'd had our fourth. And you would show up somewhere and they're like, where are your kids? Right. Like, ⁓ they're they're at home with my husband. Yeah, he's got them. And people are like, what?

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: Hey, I didn't think anything of it. Like, OK, they're my kids. I'm love being here with them. This is great for me. But I I need to give you the opportunity to do what you're doing, just like you gave me opportunities to go do the work that I needed to do. And you supported me in my career and I'm trying to support you and yours. And I there's a lot in respect about that. And I think the whole premise of everything that you have to do, whether it be in marriage or in business, it is. with love and respect. And if you can't do that, then it's, you're setting yourself up for a really rough time.

speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah. But I'm so glad you brought that up about, you know, how I supported you and then you supported me because I see this so often with women that they have so much vision and passion around things they want to do. And they they sometimes get stuck in like feeling like I can't do that because I have little kids. I would compromise my ability to be a mother. And we did start You know, there's seasons to motherhood and it changes as your kids grow and develop and all of those things. women naturally do feel like, oh my gosh, I can't be there. I'm going to be a mad mom. And I've told you over the years, we're just going to get a little deep here for a second. Yes. Like, you know, I, have been a full fledged stay at home mom.

speaker-1: The mom guilt.

speaker-0: and I have been a working mom. And so I see and have experienced the difference. And I've also always had a lot of flexibility in my working mom scenario. So I have a heart to understand what women really go through. And one is not better than the other, but they are different and we have different gifts and different, you know, ambition and different assignments really. And that's one thing you have always encouraged me and supported. that I could take steps of faith out in the direction of entrepreneurship and growing professionally because I had you being so supportive at home and.

speaker-1: And let's go a step further than that. You've not only been the stay at home mom, you've also been the working mom. You've also been the corporate woman before being a mom. So you've actually gone through all three stages of it and been the corporate, I'm working this job. I have a career, I have goals. I'm gonna stay at home. I'm gonna be a stay at home wife and mom. I'm going to be a working mom. progress through all of it. So you've actually seen all facets and phases in the time that we've been together.

speaker-0: And part of the exit of my corporate career was to advance your corporate career. It was. So husbands, listen up. If your wives have laid down, you know, their ambitions for a time, it doesn't mean that you can't pick that up later and reposition and restructure, you know, and for women too. Like that's so important to hear it. Because when you have little kids, sometimes you feel like you're losing your mind. Like you are just in the thick of all the little stuff and the diapers and the crying and the constant feeding and like women. I get it. I got four of them. And, you know, it doesn't mean that just because you pour into your kids and you have children that you lose the other God given gifts that you have to. And you can actually do both. You can do both. So let that be an encouragement. Yeah. OK.

speaker-1: you

speaker-0: I guess we need to wrap it up is that.

speaker-1: Yeah, I guess so to wrap things up and go back to it and, you know, kind of bring this to a closing. Like if you're doing this or your partner is doing this, the best thing you can do is to operate and love and respect and be supportive to each other. You're married first, business partner second. Yeah. You know.

speaker-0: Yeah, and you're married first. Yeah. And I think that's how you, you know, I think the very first question was like, not go crazy. I mean, if your marriage is your priority, then the rest of the people. Yeah. And you grow and I mean, we're continuing to grow as our, things even have shifted for us and continue to do so. Yeah. You know, we see this a lot with it. It's actually like a growing thing and

speaker-1: over will flow.

speaker-0: some of our real estate ventures, the groups and networks we're a part of, see this couples that are coming together to go into this new field. A lot of them came from completely different backgrounds, from a career standpoint, and they're taking steps to move together. So, and that's from all age ranges. So it's, it's never too late. And you know, one more thing I want to touch on for our listeners is like,

speaker-1: a lot more of this

speaker-0: Cause it's easy to say, ⁓ Rachel, you're creative and you know, have this skill set for design. And so you just naturally flowed into it and you have an engineering background and you know, the way you think, but I just want to hone in on that because just because you're, you've been exercising your skills in one category, you know, remember I came from corporate finance also, I didn't lose all that analytical way of how I think and your engineering background, it doesn't. You don't like lose that skill. I think where you really start to get in your prime as a couple and in business and entrepreneurship specifically is learning how your gifts and your skills can be leveraged over multiple facets and realizing like, ⁓ yeah, I was classically trained in finance and business or, whatever, pick your lane.

speaker-1: It doesn't just go away.

speaker-0: And this is where I started off my career. This is where my focus became. And the more I grow and develop my skills, I realized, ⁓ well, this exact same skill set and how I think is super valuable over here in this category and over here in this category. And I can actually do a whole lot more than maybe this finite thing I thought of before. So I hope you're feeling encouraged if you work with your, spouse now, maybe in the future. And I hope that you got a glimpse into behind the scenes of how we do it as a couple, as entrepreneurs, and as parents. So we are a family of six. So if there's a question that you're wanting to know we didn't cover, drop it in the comments below. You can send us an email. Check us out at audaciousdesigns.design and make sure you are subscribed to the podcast, following us on our socials.

speaker-1: Yeah, I really just appreciate you guys being with us here and letting us go on a little bit different journey today. if you're feeling encouraged, follow, like, subscribe, and we look forward to seeing you guys next time.

speaker-0: Until next time, thanks for listening.