Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with Maggie Maye

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Speaker 1: On the Doe Cast, the questions asked if movies have women and um, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism? The patriarchyeth and best start changing it with the bel cast. Hi, and welcome to the beck Doel Cast. My name is Caitlin Durante. Oh I had to throw in my last name. Why did you do that? I don't know. I'm not going to give any of my names. We're only allowed to have too and you just use both of them on yourself. Sorry, I'm whomever you want me to be. You. I'm more of an idea. You're just a floating orb of essence. That would be really nice. It sounds very low made. Oh yeah, you would never have to shower. Oh here, here's what I'll do. My name's Jamie Bethany Loftist. Whoa full name? It Jamie Bethany Loftist. No one likes that. No one likes you like Bethany triples on that. Boom boom boom, Jamie Bethany loped us. Should everyone be a my middle name? Yeah? I guess to get us back on the even playing field. Thank you. My name is Caitlin Marie Durante. I know, but thank you, You're welcome. I feel like Marie is like a go to middle name. My parents are not Marie, and it's just really a little connector piece. Yeah. Lynn some one time, Yeah, someone thought my middle name was Lynn, and I was like, you think my name is Caitlin Lynn Durante. There was a brief period of time when I was very young where I wanted to go by Jamie Beth because of Lorie Beth Denverg who was on All That and she was my favorite cast member, and I'm like, I want to be Jamie Beth Leaptus so I can be a little bit closer to Laurie Beth Denverg, but didn't stick. Bethany's also a miscarriage of my mom's. She my brother and I both have miscarriage middle names. Oh I remember this. I know this bit. You have a bit about it you're doing for stand up. Yeah, it's a little fictional, like the bit, but the middle name thing is it is true. She's like, well, if it doesn't work first time around, kicking in the middle of the next one. So they're never comfortable with their middle name. Ever, I was contemplating whether or not to reveal something about my mother, which I do stand up material on this as well, so I don't think it would be a big deal, although she did ask me to never tell anyone. Wait a second. Well then I was like, Mom, I wrote a really funny stand up bit about it. Can I tell everyone the thing you told me not to tell anybody? And she's like, okay, so let me preface is this thing that my mom is a great lady and I love her a lot. Shout out to Laurie. My mom had two abortions before I was born. This bad. I didn't, not not bad, but yeah, I you know, it's a personal thing, and you know it was her body, her choice, And there are people out there who would think that she's terrible for having done this, but she's not. She's even better because if she hadn't had those abortions, I wouldn't have been born, her life would have came out very differently, and I wouldn't be here. So I tried that same approach with my mom once. I'm like, well, maybe if you hadn't had those two because both the miscarriages were I mean obviously before my brother, and I I was like, well, maybe you wouldn't have had us, and she was like, no, I wanted four kids. I was like, well fuck, sorry, sorry it didn't work out. But we wouldn't have the fun origin story of my mom getting those experimental womb steroids, which is why I'm you were born twice. That's why I was born two times. Why I was a fat, fat, fat fat baby where she could have no babies and then she could only have huge babies. It was like a magic spell. She wouldn't be magic magic. That was an intentional segment. But before we go into that, we shouldn't introduce our guests. Yes, she's a very funny comedian. You've seen her on Conan. Maggie May thanks a bunch for being here. Of course, so you've brought us a movie. That movie is called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Kaitlyn is so excited this episode and you're so not. I'm I'll be okay, Yeah, I'm strong. We watched it together. We did. We had fun. I like this movie. Cool. I just don't like Carrot part I see, Um, that's a different podcast, different podcasts. We don't need to go into it. Oh I'm sure we will, so tell us about your history, was like, why did you pick this movie? Well, I'm a big fan of Harry Potter because I'm a big fan of magic. Um, I actually do stand up material on this as well. Um, I am magical. You can't tell me i'm not. So I mean, y'all don't know my life, you don't know how I do stuff. So, um, you don't even know my middle name. So I'm magic and y'all can't tell me. But I'm not Maggie magic May. Is that your name? There's it's actually my middle name is actually Maggie. It's Magic Maggie May. That way smooth, got it? But yeah, I love magic. I love fantasy. I loved the Harry Potter franchise. It was so good and smart and well thought out. Um. I read the books first, the last book. I actually went to the There was like a release party and you can get your book at midnight like Barnes and Noble. Yeah, so I showed him to that, got my book, put headphones on, ran to the car, drove home and then read it. Didn't check my email, didn't turn on the TV, and none of that until I was done. Because the one before someone had ruined it before I finished three. That's a big ruin for the sixth book. Yeah, And they showed like dudes driving by like lines outside of bookstores just yelling out what happened and people just being like, domestic terrorism. Really, that's exactly what that What are they Slytherins? Right, Oh gosh, that's not gonna happened to me. So I think that that's so that that is really cool that there was like a series, because there was like no other series. And I think our lifetimes where I mean so many people have that exact experience of like getting the book at midnight, then going and not communicating with anyone until they read the whole thing. Like, that's really cool that that happened as recently as what like ten or a little more than ten years ago. That's crazy. I'm a big Harry Potter fan. Although so I've seen this movie maybe fifty times or more. It's insane. I got it on DVD and my sister and I watched it every day for an entire summer, sometimes twice a day, similar to what I did with the Titanic double vhs. Right, that I can that experience, I can connect with the Harry Potter when I can't. I mean, I just I loved the books so much. I had read the first four I think at that point, and I was just like, oh my god, I love Harry Potter. This movie is not that great. It's a little camp be I still love it. You know, I've seen enough times to be able to quote every single line of dialogue is embarrassing. And then I started rereading the book in preparation for this episode because I wanted to see if there's like, are women portrayed any differently in the book? And I was like, oh, wow, the Pros and this is like for a much lower reading level than I remember. It's like, this is for sixth graders. I for some reason thought like the Pros was just more mature or something. I don't know, Harry Potter. I think from the book perspective. We're talking about this yesterday too. I feel like there's something too. When you get a kid a book that is like looks long and like big, they're like, whoa, this is so cool. I am smart because when you're like, you know, it's like quantity not quality when you're kids. And but the margins on Harry Potter is bananas, like five words to a page. It's the same thing with the lemon stick at books, and those were the ones that I was like towned around, like look at me, this is twoes long. But that translates to like it takes a couple of hours to read because there's like four one inch margins and then on every side it's crazy. The font is like size sixteen, Like Harry Potter has a ridiculous font. Yeah, I will say there's a little there's some curves to that. I was like, oh this is is this a fantasy book? Is this what we're reading? The looks real magical? Yeah, it does it. It's a very but like Microsoft word magic, like how would Clippy envision magic? Because we're gonna talk about Clippy a little. Oh man, he just wanted to help, that's all I wanted. He's like, are you writing a letter? But there's like a military drama about Clippy somewhere, like he was just trying to help and why it is out he was a casualty of war, ignored by his peers. All right, well this is my spare time. I'll do the recap. Please, here we go Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone is about a young boy, Harry Potter. He's the boy who lived. He gets dumped off on a doorstep because his mom and dad get murdered by Voldemort. Ak you know who a k he who must not be named, grow up, everyone just say his fucking name. So he has to live with these muggle family members of his, these non magical people. And then when he's eleven, he gets a letter and he's like, whoa, I'm accepted to Hogwarts. Holy crap, I'm a I a wizard and Hagrid, his friend comes along. His new friend is like, you are a wizard, Harry. So he leaves this muggle world. He's abducted by a huge man on a motorcycle. On a motorcycle. I'm just like, this is not the president. We need to be setting very weird early Bush era kind of politics to be like, don't get on the gigantic stranger's motorcycle because he tells you you have magical powers. Set deeply troubling anyways, but that is what happens. All I wanted to do, but I was nine. I shouldn't have wanted there. And you know, he takes your shopping. He's like, you have the owl he's get there's that scene he pointed out yesterday where he's sitting on his own stoop, playing the lute and like luring children into his cabin. Then and he's like, oh high, like you're just not only he's just a classic Herbert move, luring him in with music. He's not even he's not playing just any song. He's playing the score to Harry Potter. He's playing. He's like, do I notice that that's some pied pipe or kind of nonsense right there? Exactly. Yeah, a loot is trying to take your children away from you. I think it's a safe bet to just say, don't trust anyone with a loot. Loot owners, you're unnoticed. Lot owners are louds. Oh see. Easy. Loots are louds, easy to remember, especially if they're playing John Williams scores. And you know, I don't don't don't trust them bad. That means they're not even cultured. That's the that's step one. Basic ass loot players. Someone's playing the Star Wars theme on their loot, don't approach to their home. Oh god. There's a lot of scenes with children alone with Hagrid that now very much bother me, Like there should be. Super takes them into the dark forest and he's like, this is detention. We got to find this dead unicorn because there's an evil thing out there killing it. It's like, that's that's not safe. You've been for the wizard World. But anyway, I'm jumping out of myself. So he got all worked up about Hagrid and how he's a perfect Harry Potter discovered that he's a magical person, and he gets accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. So he like preps to go to school. He does all the school shopping and then he goes and he meets his friend Ron Weasley, mediocre as hell. Fun guy, give him a chance, I say, fun guy, give him a chance. And then he meets his other friend, Hermione Granger, who she's great. I like her a lot, but they only become friends with her because they feel bad for incessantly bullying her for the first part of the school year. To be fair, she is mean, she a bit, she is mean to them. I think this is a later discussion that I want to have. We'll get there. And then you know, there's the headmaster Dumbledore. He's the best Wizard of All Time or whatever. Good Dumbledore, not like he's scary. He's scary, he's too harsh. I want to help him, and I'm not sad when he spoiler alert passes away natural causes. Yeah, very slowly. It's a period of years. He is like, at he's so old. We never know how old he is? Great, should we really be morning? He could be eight hundred years old and dying of servy when he was friends with Nicholas Famel who had the Lixor of Light. Yeah, um, which is what this movie is about. So there's this secret item that Haggard takes out of a vault at grin Gots the Wizard Bank, and Harry's like, what is this item? We don't know what's happening. And then they discovered this three headed dog inside Hogwarts the castle and they're like, what's this guarding? Is the dog guarding the thing that was taken out of the vault And then they figure out that it must be this sorcer stone, which is this thing that can turn any metal into gold and it produces the elixir of life, which makes your immortal. And they deduce that one of the bad professors, Snape or someone who they think is bad once the elixir of life to give to Baltimore because he maybe died whenever you tried to kill Harry Potter also left that part out. Whoops, Yeah, he killed Harry Potter, tried to didn't succeed. He's got a lightning speak because Harry Potter's mom got the same weird experimental operation my mom got in North Carolina, and that's why her baby is huge and can't die. Exactly. That is part of Harry Potter canon. We had the same experimental birth doctor started off in North Carolina exactly. Harry Potter's roots actually lie in North Carolina. Okay, so they're like Snape is bad and he's friends with Baltimore, and Baltimore must be trying to come back because you know, we think he might have died, but maybe he also didn't and he maybe is trying to resurface. They have their whole school year. Harry Potter's great at quidditch. What isn't he great at? He's truly great at everything, and when he whenever he does something wrong, everyone's like, actually that's good because either like the Catches, you're wealthy, or like the Catches, we know you broke the rules, but now you're the captain of the sports team. Like that happens over and over and over where he's just and I get it from the perspective of like kids are going to be like I want to be like this, I want to break the rules and then get you know. And he had a tough past, but I'm also just like, there's so few things that Harry Potter actually has to he doesn't really get in trouble ever. Yeah, exactly, like exactly, even in the magic world, there's still white male, privileged, straight white male. Harry Potter just takes it. He's just like, oh, I broke the rules. I guess I'm the captain. Now. They're just like funck off because that's, you know, probably how your whole life's going to go. Yeah, don't even need to learn the lesson. That doesn't matter. You're good. Yeah, Like he said, he's wealthy. I want him to share his wealth. He's got a poor as friend Ron. All the Weasleys are poor. Share your wealth, Harry, And they get him presents. Yeah, Mrs Weasley knits him a sweater and it's like, no, you give her something. And then there's this whole thing at the end with her like, oh my god, we gotta stop Snape from stealing the Sorcerer's Stone so that he doesn't give it to Baltimore. But surprise, it's not Snape. It's Professor Quarrel, who's a little UCB three oh one graduate. His acting is that of a USB three o ue graduate who's very proud of himself. He's like, it's like, you're great, job, Like would you like some you know, yes? And then everything I think Professor Quirrel is hilarious because all of his line reads are like I don't know who's act in the dungeon, right, and then I thought, you want to know? And then he like passes out. I'm just like I have been sidelined and this exact horrible improv scene that you're doing right now, and and and just it was an interesting thing because I haven't seen this movie, and like, I think between like six to ten years um, certainly before I knew what UC me through one graduated. But that's totally I I think that they just plucked him up from from from British UCB, ye old UCB, and they're like, oh yeah, you seem like you you have a basic feel for the craft. Put on a turban, white man and scare every child, like every child. And also that's the other thing that Professor gurl of. He's the white guy in a turban and surprise what happened was under the turban is scary And that's not a good precedent set either. Yeah, most people who wear turbans in real life don't have a Baltimore face on the back of their head. I think we can just take out the word most. I don't know a single person except for Judy. She's got a else but she's very nice, nic hurt. Any thing for she is um. So, yeah, they discovered that it's Quarrel and that he is harboring Baltimore, who like can't have his own body yet because he's still like he's like this half person. So of course Harry Potter wins. He defeats the bad guy even though he's an eleven year old man like I won, and the pretty much the end of the movie. Yeah, and then he gets on a train and the big perfect says see you next year. Book. Don't accept the perpet's offering. It's pictures of you and your family from when you were young, like, I don't open it to you, so I'm not in your side. So there's there's the movie. We forgot to to talk about what this podcast, Steven is, you're right, movies up. Well, maybe we'll just say this one hopefully you know, hopefully you know, but the role of women in movies, that's right. Yes. One of the questions I would like to pose is why J K Rowling a woman, a pretty outspoken feminist today, at least you've got some feelings about that, I can tell, but it snap her over my leg. Okay, I generally like her, but I am just curious to know why she didn't write a female lead. Why a novel when she is a woman. Why did she was like, oh maybe I should write this book and have the men out number the female characters. Has she written a female lead anything? I don't know about her work outside of Harry Potter or how much of it there actually neither. There's casual Vacancy, which I don't remember she wrote that under a pen name or not. I just remember I worked at a bookstore when I came out, and everyone was like, oh, probably don't. It's not that's not supposed to be a very good one. I don't know. I don't know anything about it though. Yeah, I haven't read any of her other work besides Harry Potter, but I guess you know, is it interesting that she decided to make the lead a boy. I was thinking about that too, because there are a lot of straw female characters in the book. There aren't like in the movie. If we're just going by the movie, I didn't see any weak female characters except for that one girl that came and got sorted after. Yeah, like she, I was like, you are her names Susan Bones and bones that is also my stripper name. Thank you please, We'll go to the stage hunted house as name is Susan Bones, garbage, lazy timid one. You know, yeah you hufflepuff is all the other female characters were super strong. But the male characters there were weak male characters, and there were backstabbing male characters, and there were bad male characters and two faced ones. Literally, so I saw it in sending Harry. It's a go get your dudes, you know, like your dudes are causing all the trouble in Hogwarts. They're causing all the trouble in the magic world. It is not our responsibility to now go and have to produce the emotional labor of handling your dudes. Go get your dude, like I saw it like that. I like that. I like that, put yourself in danger and go get your dude. Right, I'm gonna be out here with the snake grass or whatever there wherever they are. So I did a little bit, as as upsetting as it is to me to engage in Jake Haroling's life, I wanted to like go over her story a little bit. So she was a single mom when she read this, I believe, a single mom to a young boy. So that's the main reason I would give her a pass on Harry. But you know she's like raising a little boy, so that kind of makes sense. But um what I what I did think it was interesting was that the reason that her pen name is j. K Rowling is because when she gave the manuscript and they were like, yeah, we really like this, but because she went by like jo Anne or whatever, and they were like, but we don't think that people are gonna want to read a book by a woman. So that's why they made her change it to like this kind of androgynous J. K Rowling so it could have been like the exactly writer of The Outsiders. They did that to her too, right, right, And people like, we know j K. Simmons, that's a man, j People confuse it and I think he's like doing a weird pivot. But but it's it is interesting to me that was happening like as recently as you know, ninety seven. It seems like, yeah, you'd think we meet over that well, but we're not, not even today. Yeah, but so, I mean, it's it's it is weird. I mean, I agree that all the female characters are strong and intelligent and don't really cause trouble at least until we meet like Electrics less strange later on, and she's like pretty much, And who's that bitch that wears pink? Oh? Um professor Umbridge, she's Laura's Umbridge. She's a she's Yeah, I think they don't. I think a movie that was the first time I used the C word in conversation. I'm sure, yes, that's like she is. She is it problematic for us to be saying that, maybe, but that is no, I mean, we'll claiming the word. Fine. Every Harry Potter villain is a cunt. A villains are cuts. Let's make no exceptions. All villains freeze cut, total cut everyone except Doc. He's not a cunt. We really need to give him some thoughts. Okay, I was I think that maybe he was trying to do it for the good of science and then maybe got a little sidetracked. I was going to start a clock everybody, how long it would take you to mention Alfred Molina or one of his characters. Well, I think the Alfred Malina really sell you on the idea that maybe, like docc is a very nuanced character, unless her actor would not have done that. Perhaps, so shout please tweet back its answer. He didn't answer and tweet. I'm so sad. I'm sweating now. Anyway, So, yeah, Dlora's Umbridge, she's a cunt, she's aunt. Yeah, but that's I mean, that's okay, that's okay, okay, Right. She gives cat lovers a bad name. I forgot that she has cat. She loves cat. Isn't she the lady that made that like basically cut her students. She gave Harry a penn and she's like, you must not tell lies. And when he wrote it on the parchment, it actually dug into his hand like it was like he was cutting major cunt. Kids. Don't cut your kids, easy rule. Yeah, alright, well cps the magic world, Yeah where it goes? Is there ever, Like I know that there's like magic government, but is there any sort of regulatory force to protect children because all the children are repeatedly they're like, it seems like you've got this, which is crazy. Where do kids they don't go to school, presumably until they're eleven when they go to Hogwarts. Where do they learn to read? When did they read? And there's a math? There's no there's magical math or just like picking up on the way there could be no women. There is no women in STEM, although I would argue that Professor McGonagall is a woman in STEM. I feel like transfiguration is the science of the wizarding world. What is transfiguration? It's like turning one thing into another. But potions like that's like Baker potions is like chemistry. Yeah, tubes, Yeah, transfiguraction you need math for that. You need math for two. The T and the T and STEM I think stands for transfiguras and magic, science, transfiguration, engineering, magic and magic. Yeah, yeah, you can you can twist it. Okay. There are women in STEM yeah, and plenty of them. And then also, oh wait, no, I was thinking of the they have the herbology Is it herbology in the that's kind of science. Yeah, it's still like home medicinal kind of. It seems health related. There's the study of plants whatever that is. Yeah. Yeah, Professor Sprout is teaching botany classes and they take, um, no, she's a woman. Okay, that's what I thought. Okay, so that is a female professor. And then there's, um, we don't never see her in the movie, but there is I think a female um astronomy professor that teaches No, that's um yeah, they never they don't take it. I think, like yeah, right, and we I think we don't see her until the third movie or we don't need the third book. Um, but there's another astronomy professor who's a woman. Um. So there's a lot of women teachers. A lot of them don't get mentioned or flying class, Madam, Jim Teacher, Jim teacher, I mean that is Jim teacher, right, that's their equivalent. Yeah, like she's she's like and it's Cassini in seventh grade and there it is the school nurse Ak, Madam Pumprey, other woman. Um. But a lot of these characters, at least in the movie, don't get a lot of screen time or any significant besides and besides Professor McGonagall, it doesn't seem like many of them have like a high standing in the school. He has double doors in charge. We know that. And it seems like mcgonagal is next, she's the head of griffin Door House. And then right there's house masters. But are there any other female house masters? I know Snap is Slytherin. Who raven Claw and raven Claw I don't know, isn't Oh? I think huffle Puff is Professor Flitwick, the little the little Guy, the little Guy, and then raven Claw I think let me look it up. Their original raven Claw was Rowena raven Claw. Yeah, she was one of the four founding members of She was that book I'm assuming. Oh wait, Maggie, have you ever taken like the quiz they're supposed to take to figure out what house you're in? Yes? I took two because the first quiz gave me some bullshit. I got Griffin Door the first time. I was like, I'm not a Griffin door. It's not that's not where I am. And then the next time I got raven Claw, which is where I should be. I'm going to Harry Potter World on Sunday, so I'm going to get sorted, and if I don't get into raven Claw, I'm throwing a scene. Wait do you get sorted at Universal Florida. I've been times, but I didn't want to ever wait in the line. Wait, I'm sorry. I saw the commercial and its cool. I'll kinds of it's going to be ridiculous. We should go like is the head of raven Clahouse. So I'm so sorry for all the listeners at home, like you were wrong, because I know that's what you were doing. Sorry, all Calyn's nerds calmed down. The head of Hufflepuff is Professor Sprill Horbology. Okay, okay, that makes sense. So it is half and half for the house masters. Yes, okay, well that's good. We've got women in some leadership roles. That's nice, good on the right track. But in terms of just important, yeah, female characters who contribute to the story in the movie and also in the books, especially the movie. There goes your mixard made pardon my mix. Hard Um, they just don't have that much to contribute to the story. Although I would argue, okay, so let's talk about Hermione, She's that's the main person we have to talk about it, I would say that she contributes more to the progression of the story than Ron, if we're arguing that, like Harry, Ron and her Mine are the three main characters, because I think she a number of times is almost like the exposition tool who pushes forward, like and now we're going to the library, and then she'll be the one to figure out, this is what we came to the library for. Okay, next scene, and then she'll like I feel like there's a few scenes in a row where she figures out a critical thing that otherwise it's like, oh, I don't know what they would have done right. So there were a couple of times in the movie I noticed when Harry was like, oh, well, if it wasn't for her money, we would not like when Ron was like, well lucky, I didn't panic, it's lucky hermony. And then she's like you're a great great wizard and he's like you're better. She's like yeah, friendship and whatever. And also like you're my richest friends be aware when speaking to their richest friend. It's not even a gender thing. That's a class issue. I wouldn't tell my richest friend and smarter than him, even if that was true, like, no, you're really smart. I wouldn't tell my richard friend that I am smarter than him because I hate rich people, and then lock him in a cake. I can drink him by being hey, you can't even buy smarts like me, give me your money and try. Yeah, slap yeahramatically hundreds or like quarters if you're poor, hurt more. Yeah, I got a stock full of quarters. Bam. Smack the wealthy with it? Yeah, oh so hashtag smack the wealthy. Let's get it going. Find your wealthiest friend. They'll if they're cool, they'll understand why you're doing it. They're your friend. They won't press charges, right right, they'll be like, you know what, this is symbolic of something larger and I right, I accepted. Now let's go to dinner. I'm buying because I'm wealthy and I need to spread my wealth. That's all I want for wealthy people to spread their Well, they're sorry, I'm a socialist. The only time I've ever hit someone in my whole life. Was in college and I punt. I was like in an argument with my closest male friend and we had just been like doing. It was over something very stupid, but I got so mad. I'd never been that mad before, and I'm like, I don't have any words left. I'm going to hit him. And so what I did was in the Boston Common, I just getting out of class. I knew he would be heading for the transtation, and I knew we were supposed to be meeting up for dinner to argue more. Insteadled his end it now and I hid behind a tree and waited for him to pass me, and I leaped out and I punched him in the face. And it wasn't a good punch, but it was. It was very dramatic. I've been waiting for a while for him to get out of class and I punched him in the face, and I'm like never like he stood there and I was just like, I don't want to have this argument anymore. And I was like after I hit him, and he was like okay, and then he brought me out to dinner. And that's all I've ever hit someone. I want to do that like every twenty years. It sounds like it was effective, and I like it would have been totally valid if it wasn't effective. But I'm very glad that it was. Yeah, right, I didn't. I don't think you've ever been I don't know if you'd ever been hit by anyone, um, much less someone you'd never expect to hit you. And he rewarded you with sizzler afterwards, and I got, I got it was like wingsnider or something. I didn't put him out, it was it was good. Yeah, hey, bring it all back. This doesn't happen in this movie, but Hermione does punch Jacob Malfoy in the face in book when she's wearing that hoodie. Yeah yeah, pink hoodie these he deserved it. Um. But going back to Hermione, topic I'll always bring up is a woman needing to be saved. It happens over and over again. It's a horrible trope, very annoying, and it happens in the scene it's like Halloween time and someone has let the troll in the castle. And this is right after Harry Ron was like, no, wonder she hasn't got a friends, She's a stupid beach or whatever he said. That's exactly what he says. Uh, And so she goes to the bathroom and cries all afternoon, and then someone lets the troll in, and then Harry's like, wait, we've got to tell her mine. She doesn't know, and they go and the troll is in the bathroom fling his two thousand one c g I flaying in his little club around and as want to do right her Monee, Like, it's just she doesn't do anything to save herself, even though she's the most competent of the three of them in magic, like she could be like hey en Guardian Lobiosa, and she though she might not, but I feel like, well, they always have their wands on them at all times. This is Is this the only time in the movie it happens? It is, right, And so I'm willing to forgive it, because she then saves either Ron or Harry or the both of them like three times after that. Right. I think that maybe the fact that that comes so early in the story is almost like a misdirective, like it looks like she can't defend herself because obviously I'm sure like in the right circumstances she could have I don't know, but maybe she was just maybe peeing. You know, she's in the bathroom. I mean she had whiles would she had been there was off? Well, she was good. She was crying all day because they were bullying her. I've cried and be at the same time, we don't know an idea coming out of face, like all of my orifices crowding but there I don't know. But but then I guess this if we want to harken back to her a few episodes ago, to our Wonder Woman episode, when a woman isn't a superhero, I feel like it's almost a little bit misleading to have her succeed in every scene of like I think it's okay that her money fails or she didn't even fail, but like is freaked out and doesn't isn't like hyper competent in every scene, because I just feels kind of I don't know, like it almost feels like a human thing to me, of like you're not going to be competent in every moment of trouble. I think about her money. That I noticed is that she has her strengths and she knows where other people have their strengths and is comfortable enough in herself to let people work on their own strength, Like, um, when Ron is doing chess, you mean to tell me, smart ass her mind, he can't play some chess. You probably can't. But she's like, Ron's out here doing it all the time. He probably grew up playing wizarding chess. I will defer to him, especially right, this is the only thing he has to contribute to the whole. She's like, he's not going to make him the credits, let him do this. That's interesting, like the the idea of just like choosing her moments carefully, because I mean, that's certainly not something that Ron does. But but I also think that for most moments, he's afraid rather than thinking rationally. I think it is funny that Ron's main moment, like his moment of strength, is essentially like I'm eleven and I'm going on a suicide mission, Like I'm gonna die for my friend I've known for six months. I was like, oh, so still dumb as fuck. Like but like, you know, noble dumb as fuck. There's such a thing's to do whatever with some candy frogs. You buy a Weasley a candy frog, you have a friend for life, that mom would meet you a sweater on Christmas everything, because I mean, like Harry Potter hadn't even really met his family at that point. You're like, oh, you bought our you about our kids candy ones, Yeah, you can get. My parents were a little bit like that. They're like, well, we get our kids. Not super easy to be friends with. If you're going the extra mile, you will be rewarded. Also that scene where he buys like the chocolate frogs and all the other candy on the train, and that scene there are so many shots of a child's crotch because like Harry's like pulling change out of his pocket, or like scabbards is on Ron's lap, and you just see like a shot just as like a small boy's crotch, and it's like, surely you could have shot this a little differently. Little boy shot in this movie makes you think about Chris Columbus and where's he as well? This is a vile topic. Do we get any hermoney crutch shots? None that I remember, not that I remember. We'd get several Harry crotch shots at least one. And then I have to go home now, And then there's that scene at the end where Harry saying goodbye to Hagrid that big old perfect and Harry's head comes up to Hagrid's crotch. So we get when we're seeing stuff at Harry's perspective, we are looking at Hagrid's. We've got to assume horse stick maybe bigger than a horse. Maybe the man's huge. He's like, yeah, which we learned later in the series that his mother was a giant and his father was a human. How did that sex happen? Okay, don't talk about me and my ex boyfriend. Don't talk about me and my mom. Man, it works. Also, I'm probably gonna get yelled at for kink shaming or something. A giant and a human can't funk what's wrong with that? It's curious, that's all I'm saying. Have to climb up her to do that? Yeah, people don't just like that's not I bet he could have crawled inside of her vagina, left into that cowardous vagina. Maybe there's like a whole Ulysses style adventure. He took inside her vagina, found his way back out, and then somehow he had, you know, scuffed to the right place. And she was pregnant. We don't know that their starry because she was artificially insidated garbage bag full of yeah, he whole from the past. Move like yeah, he had to come in a jar every day for six years, and then there's a twenty percent chance his wife might conceive. If Aristotle is crying, they just put it in a super so girl like the best or like a T shirt gun. Just this is not king shaming. This is king empower. This is the science behind women in stem. Just just a discussion of just normal reproduction. Yeah, well, um, come inside you is an acceptable king, I'll say it. Um. Going back to her mind and so yes, she doesn't need to be saved by Harry and ron Um and scene with the troll. But then a bunch of other things happen where when they're like running through the third floor corridor and they like need to escape filch, she's like, Hellohamura, she knows the spell, so it's like kind of a minor one. But then whenever she realizes that what she thinks of snape cursing Harry on his broomstick during the quidditch game, She's like, leave it to me, and then runs up to Snape's little audience pit area, his little family the opera area and lights his robes on fire with love it Arson got a love a good uh you know, felony um and your teacher on fire, you know, and then manages, even though like she targets the wrong person, she manages to save Harry from you know, falling off his room and dying. And then towards the end, like you already mentioned, when they get caught in the Devil's snare the big plan, She's like, you just gotta relax. And then Ron is freaking out and you can't exactly and he's just like Harry listens but a personality uh and then yeah, Ron is all like, oh yeah, look, it's like she saved your ass just waking acknowledge it for one second, which is why Ron is a chode and he sucks. Man. Okay, you're right, you're right. But I think as a chode, he like all cho they grow, They grow if you just give him a chance. He doesn't. Though he stays a piece of ship through the entire series. He does nothing but like verbally abuse her and undermine her abilities. He's not he's a show really, Okay, Well, I believe you. I'm sorry. I okay, I just have a lot of problems with ron. I just had a crush on Ruper Grant for too long, and I'm being an apologist in that, and that's on me. Ruper Green came into the bookstore I where once, and I'm taller than him. Who Yeah, it's kind of like a human slash giant test kind of well, and they'll welcome him James Joy's voyage within me. But I wasn't enough to Yeah, hey, I got a T shirt, gun a few and you have six months and a lot of amazing opening line I want to go for. Okay, another thing that her minde does that. Okay, so she here's the thing. She's poised as this like brainiac. She's very clever, she's a know it all. Her smartness and cleverness is almost poised as like a flaw of hers because at least at the beginning, she's like, look at everything I know, and look at all the spells I know, and look how smart I am and how good I am it all the school things. And then she man splains a lot. She's like it's actually Levio Sa, Levio SA or whatever. But that's kind of fun. Though it's kind of like I don't mind that she's explaining overly explaining, because it's like you're you're a boy and you're dumb, and I'm a smart girl. And then she grows out of that, like, you know, maybe she sees like this isn't the way to be or maybe just like not even the most effective way to get what she needs to get done done by just pissing people. I don't know, but I mean, I feel like her. I feel like it created results, like her telling Ron how to correctly say when Guardian Leviosa like later on he used it right paid one. That's true. So I mean, and then what I didn't think about when we were watching the movie but occurs to me now is that also she aside from the fact that there's clear weird gender disparity at Hogwarts to some extent, she is also coming from the point of like she's seen as and this comes out I think in later books it's like a half breathe mud. She's a mud, but right, and so I'm sure like even at the point where that's not discussed in the movie, she is maybe of the mind of like, well, I have something to prove. So I have to be I mean, and this is this goes back to it a gender sort of metaphor of like, well I have to be twice as good to be taken seriously as this redheaded cuck, you know. And so I don't know, know that I think of it like like that. And she's not coming from like any point of privilege in the magic world. Fuck that sentence, Jamie. But but like I I don't know, I guess that justifies her attitude. Well also like um, I would say that the uh, you're not from a pure wizarding family, you're not a pure blood, Like that's the racism of the wizarding world, right, you know what? Honestly, Hermione was a black person. Did y'all know that in the books like written like in that play that they have in England, it's a black person playing her Miniver was kissed and like J. K. Rowling was like, I never said she was white. And if you look at the books, like she never they said she has frizzy hair. Yeah, they just said she has frizzy hair. And it's like a brillo pad and it's like soft. Nobody wanted to touch it. She had never let anybody, but yeah, she like could easily be a person I love. I never knew that. Yeah, I think there's casting directors then for casting Emma Watson. Yeah yeah, And they need to watch Beauty and the Beast unfair to watch all those perfume ads come. I love that. Oh my god, I wish I wish that even further, like adds another layer of other stuff that she's now also having to like go against and like perceptions that people are going to perceive of her just for being, you know, any kind of a way, you know, intersectionality. Oh, she's so angry, she's such a bit. No, dude, she's just a person of color. That's cool. I want to read more about that. Play ye. Also, to make Emma Watson's hair frizzy in this movie, they actively crimp her hair the hall, which is another just a beautiful early Oughts touch that I appreciate it. They're like, how do we frizzit? Of Oh, don't worry, my daughter has a crimping iron in her house. We'll figure this out. Going back to this is a very white movie. There are some people of color, they usually don't have any lines, except for like Lee Jordan as he's announcing the quidditch game. Um, although is I want to say Angeline and Johnson one of the quidditch players a person of color. I think she is so, Yeah, I think so. And then there's one other guy that's like kind of the periphery of his little like friend group o'dan honest, I think so because he's there age right, he's like a little buddy buddy with that one kid that keeps blowing himself up Scottish. Yeah, Shamus and Dean. Yeah, I think Dean I kind of like that friendship. Yeah, let's see their story. I wanna spin off those are there. Well, there's like because the kids in this movie are such adults, it's like fun to see like kids behaving like dumb little kids sometimes and blowing themselves up. It's nice, yeah, true, or like never long about him, like I'm scared you are weird, weird little kid. Going back to quidditch though, I did enjoy that it's as you pointed out, co ed teams. Yeah, didn't feel the need to separate them into you know, a boy's team and a girl's team. Also all three female. Well, she's like the quidditch master Jim Teacher. I don't know if they have coaches, Master Jim Teacher, but all three of the chasers on the Prifven door team are women, so it's like and they're like point scores, they're like, they're like they're the ones dealing with the heavy ones around. I love how. Also, quidditch is a sport invented by someone who has no understanding of how sports work. Listen, if you're a real life person, I'm gonna I'm looping you in with the steampunk community as far as people I don't respect. If you're a real life person and you, in your spare time play quidditch with your other adult friends, I'm gonna need you to walk into the sea. It's just an unacceptable way to spend your time. Go meet up with your local steampunks and let's start off. I'm all about quidditch, though. If your kid is on a quidditch team, I'll go watch them. It's with kids, it's it's with kids as a kid with like with with the better fly though, If it's a bunch of kids running around and throwing stuff, I don't have time. That's soccer. The children had better be able to fly Yeah, they're better be real magic and real brooms. My college had a quidditch team, and I found it so deeply upsetting. That's like, oh, someone I went on a date with is now actively in public flailing about thinking he can fly. I can't. I can't accept its college like with brooms between their legs, running around and trying to be athletic. Yeah, yeah, it's some real art bullshit. Yeah, grow up art school, grow up art school. Pick up a fucking basketball and figure it out on the football field. Yeah, you had a concussion for sports. Yeah, put on a get strap your skates on. Let someone kick you in the head with a skate. Also, why is quidditch the only sport in the wizarding world? There should be We don't have just wizard baseball, Wizard b balla quidditch is the only sport because it looks like it's like five sports put together, like nine things happening at all times. I guess, like sort of every it was about like three or four different kinds of balls. There's a blood Yer's quaffles in this niche. Yeah, I wonder how much thought she actually put into that. Yeah, hard to say, but it comes part of the books, especially that it's like why are why are you so much emphasis on this anyway I wanted to talk about. Oh I love how like this is not about what this podcast is about, but I have to mention that I love how much product placement there is in this movie for products that don't exist, products that ten years later what exists, and then they can like like capitalize on that later on with all the birdie bots, every flavor beans like that, because if you go to Universal Studios to Harry Potter World, can you can buy wands and you can buy all the candy and but there's just like so many shots where it's check out this logo for the Nimbus two thousand and it's like it's like, was Nimbus sponsoring this movie? Did you get money to put Nimbut it's like so funny because like Harry Potter as like a movie franchise had flopped that would be so embarrassing to watch back now. It's like they were really like swinging for the rafters with that, but it just happened to like work out in a pretty spectacular way. Um, there isn't the second movie they Flying Car is like afford remember that although I don't. I tried looking it up. I don't know if it's a real type of Ford. It was like a Ford I forget, but I was like, what Ford Fiesta? Were they driving a Ford Fiesta for focus? I'd have to sensible choice. My mom and sister both drive a Ford Focus dress focus, boring car, very boring. Um. Hey, here's something I wanted to talk about. Why doesn't Hermione have any female friends? I was wondering about that. Yeah, that's a good question. She's got people to choose from. She's got Lavender Brown, she's got Pevardi Patel. She doesn't have people right later, doesn't she kind of become friends with Luna Lovegood a bit. Yeah, but that's quite a bit later on. I don't think we even meet Luna until book five Younger, right, I think she's their year, but she's in raven klawon that. Like it seems like the houses don't they only are enemies with each other. Yeah, they don't like hang out, which, like what kind of precedent is? But yeah, that is interesting. I mean I know that probably statistically she is there's less girls, or it looks in this movie anyways, there's less girls that go to Hogwarts. Maybe I think that that might even out later on, but still it's I don't know, that's interesting. It didn't really look like a lot of girls and griffriend door. Yeah. I can't really like it's like they's like and then a few weather kids. Yeah, okay, I love that. The implication basically about the weaves Las is like they're probably Catholic. It doesn't seem it doesn't seem like they really believe in birth. They were like old school, like New England Catholic dosh kid like, yeah, freckle irish kid had never seen econom in their life, even though there's probably a fucking spell for that that's free. What does wizard birth control? Like? Good question, there's no probably effective right probably else there's a counterspell like I want to get you. I don't know one man has ever truly said that, I want to get your preyny and well a question for J. K. Rowling to answer in a series of very boring clickbad articles sometime in the next five hours. I can't stand when she does is that where she every couple of years or she's like, oh, it feels like maybe interest isn't like where it should be. Uh, this character is By doesn't change anything that happened. Chill out. We we see you, You're I see you. You're fine. You're still a millionaire. You don't need to tweet about we still like the books. Yeah, it's like you don't need to tweet about which teenager you're saying is By. I think the more people, the more arbitrary makes LGBT the better. I'm sick of all these fucking straight white people. But I don't like that she does. She seems to do it for like fucking attention, Like it's not Maybe can we talk about Professor mcdonagall y Downtown Abbey, Mrs Downton Abbe Abbey of Downtown. Yeah, this is Abigail Downtown. That's my c w remain of Downtown Abbey. Downtown Downtown is about girl trying to make it in New York City after Hermione. She's the female character with the most screen time and dialogue and importance and bearing on the story. I mean, I really like her. She's stern, and she's strict, you know, tough but fair. She's no nonsense, but she's also compassionate and highly capable, very smart, a boss as bitch a lover u sports. Yeah, real into sports. You could tell she was that. Yeah, but she was on the team back in the day. She was a scout. She basically was like, Harry, you're a secret now. Yeah, she's one of the people, like you wrote the rule, here's your rule. And she buys Harry a broom like he's got money. Right, there's you Weasley a broom. He's poor. These Weasley's what are they? She made me think she's got money on a lot of those quidditch games. Yeah, maybe interest nagas got dice. Why she isn't headmaster if if you're listening, here has an idea for some club. Baby, Yeah, I'll click the all of that. Yeah, yeah on Facebook it works, it works. Oh boy, she's great. I like her a lot. Um, she doesn't have a whole lot to do with the actual like I'm gonna do a thing that makes the story go forward. She's you know, sort of on the periphery for the most part. But she's an important character in later books and movies. Um, I think maybe plays more of a significant role in different things. But we even talked about on Petunia at all, right, and she I mean, obviously don't like her, but I think she's a more interesting character than she gets credit for something, because especially this movie is like it's a Chris Columbus movie. He made Home alone. I think he came at this like I'm making a goofy kids movie and it works. I like it. But I like the character of and Petunia because it's sort of like her attitude informs Harry Potter's life in such a major way, where she had this rivalry with her sister and like there was a lot of jealousy that she wasn't, you know, perceived to be as special as her sister was, and that kind of derails the first ten years of her nephew's life. And so I don't know, I feel like she has like a weird amount of power over this story. And even though you only sort of see her being like like, she sort of is kind of like an inciting person in how the whole series goes just which is interesting because and it also from I was just like, would I rather like actively it sounds exhausting making an adorable child miserable for ten years like over like, well, he's important in this area of the world that I don't have to associate with. If I don't want to, why not just let him go? But I mean that speaks to how mad she was, probably because I often wondered, like, why wouldn't you just like it wasn't like they were going to come into contact with that. It doesn't seem like they ever would have had to know. So weird because it maybe perhaps there's like some female rivalry, which I mean with sisters is more. I mean that just happens, um, But it's strange she would keep that rivalry up for her dead sister though, who died to pretty brutal way. That's kind of weird that she wouldn't be like, Okay, well shoot, you know, let me, you know, put a bookmark in this and like not she was just like, oh yeah, yeah, and by the way, I'm also going to funk up your kid's life too. Yeah. That's that's intense, you know principle. Are there any like twists with her later in the series or like where it turns out and I don't find out something about how she agreed to protect Harry so that like Baltimore could never find find him at their house, so she did something no bull at something. It seems like she would have had to because otherwise, like that's that's like I can't imagine anyone having that level of anger after their sibling is like brutally. It's like she's like cartoonishly bitter and dig about it. Yeah yeah, and like well kind of waste her own life making a boy to someone who has been dead for ten years. Yeah, she's such a cook. On the other side too, because she is so over by her son. Her Yeah, her fun She is such a cook. I'm like, oh, like you're just letting everybody else is it a thing of like, oh, my kid is a piece of ship. So I'm going to take that out on because she doesn't seem like she has much power over who. Only the way this movie is stylized, especially at the very beginning, it looks like Chris Columbus thinks he's like adapting a roll dollbook because it's very good. Every shot of Uncle Vernon is like he's like mugging in some way, like and like it's so funny. Because the series does get so dark later until the point where the whole like the movies are three hours long and like blue, but the first I don't know that's part of why I like this movie because it's like there is like a levity to it that there isn't to the others. But the family at the beginning, especially like there's just they're just cartoon characters. It was very much like Matilda, right, yeah, letters, I was like, this is that scene in Matilda, the veto in Matilda. We should you Matilda episode. Okay, okay, we haven't talked about the most important female character in the whole movie. Mrs Norris, the cat. She just kidding, but she holds a special place in my heart because she's also she you know, she does things. She's like you, I'm gonna run and you have to run away from me so you don't get in trouble. And then that's what leads them to the corridor on the third floor where they find Fluffy the Three Headed Dog, and that's how they figure out the whole thing. So Mrs Norris more important than we give her credit for. I'm with it. I like her. It's my hot take on the cat, hotcat take he takes being a dog's both Fluffy the Three Headed Dog and fang Hagrid's dog. We mustn't forget that. We need to say dogs out like hogs out, the dogs out, the dogs out. You're perfect, don't take your hog outs will be placed under her ass. It is amazing watching that movie. Why would you let a child be alone with that person? I don't now we're gonna be getting emails about size shaming. He's very scary. He's scary and he's and they're like, he's a gentle giant. I think maybe we should stop talking to kids about gentle giants so much. They seem sort of like outliers versus perverts who want to eat you. Well, you know, Dumbledore trusts him with his life. He gets all the important tasks, even though he also manages to funk everything. Dumbledore, the old man who constantly puts children in grave danger. Let's listen to his recommendation. He's like, I try to agree with my life. Meanwhile, Haggard's like, should I'll take this dragon egg and let me just tell you all the secrets about how to get past my three headed dog. Stranger in a bar whose face I never saw. He's a drunk, he's an alcoholic. He's an alcoholic. He was always like, I shouldn't have told you that, And look at his life though I would die. I mean, look at his is in a tiny shack with an assortment of animals. His only friends are children. Yeah, seems a little sad. He's a oh you, And at this point in the movie he doesn't even he's a he's like a janitor. He doesn't he's not a teacher. Rights In fact, he's a Yeah, he got expelled from Hogwarts. He can't even do magic. He still does it. Maybe that's when he gets off the sauce, when he gets a job as a teacher. Maybe you lay off the butter beer. Yeah, yeah, the butter beer, which is basically just what is that at at Universal Studios. It's basically cream soda with like butter scotch flavoring. It's disgusting. I hate it, will not buy it. People like it. I prefer pumpkin juice. If you're going to go to your Universal and get a hairy Potter drink all about the pumpkin juice. So that's just another hot take from Let's Go. I have a few days left on my season past hell yeah, at the end of June. But I have a few blackout days on the weekend. Okay, just so, I mean, let's figure this out. Do you have any fun I thought you want to say about the movie, the portrayal of women in the movie. I do want to bring up one more because she was kind of a background character, but she provided the biggest magic of all this Harry's mom. She provided the biggest magic of all, which is like what we do see in flashbacks. I always I forget that you see her in flashbacks. But that's why Harry was able to like win is because she gave him the best magic, which was punk asked love. Still. That was like she essentially was the hero of or the catalyst behind his heroism. So I found that right, Yeah, right, He's only the famous celebrity Harry Potter because she sacrificed. Which why are women sacrificing themselves for men be sacrificing? Well, she appears in the mirror to right, She's just like in the mirror and the little photo book that Haggard gives him a d end she pops up all over the place. Is a weird pervert took these pictures of you and your family. He's like, don't flip to page. My thumbs and one of them moving on the side. That's great, let's talk about whether or not the movie passes the Bechdel tests. So there is one scene that I think is a candidate that we did not catch the first time, right. I had to rewatch it again and I was like, wait a minute. There's the scene after they've defeated the troll in the girl's bathroom. Professor McGonagall comes in. She's like, what's all this. Oh my god, you guys could have been killed. Harmony steps forward and says, it's my fault, Professor McGonagall. I was looking for the troll. I'd read about them and thought I could thank you. I'd read about them and thought I could handle it. I was wrong. If Harry and Ron hadn't saved me, I'd probably be dead. She says, Harry wrong and then right, and then Professor mcgonagal replies and she's just like I expected more rational thinking from you. I'm really disappointed in you. I can't believe this. Five points from Griffin door yeah, first of all, five points really yeah, more yeah, the very arbitrary there seems to be extremely and there's like we're like, there's like very crazy point inflation later in the mine before to at the end of the year. They're like that you for this, give me some chips. D points double Door manipulates children. He's like, hey, it's Lutheran's you won. Just kidding, bitch, Like I was like, they're eleven, Why would you do that? You're eight hundred years old? So mean if your grandpa did that to you. It was like, Jamie my favorite, actually just kidding. Literally everyone else is my favorite. That's so mean. I would argue that you've got to start manipulating people young so they can get used to it when they're an adult. Because people are always going to manipulate. They need these kids need practice because here's the thing. Baltimore manipulated people into following him, So you gotta be prepared. You gotta know like how not like you can now win an Academy award and then lose it, and now you know how it feels. You're he moonlighted those kids, so like, what is the worse pain than then those kids got missed Columbia? Wait o, wait so wait wait In this analogy, Slytherin was La La Land, which if there's ever been a more Slytherin movie pointed out to me because in Moonlight was Griffin door yeah, or or the alternate double door is Steve Harvey, and then I forget the two other countries, but double Doore is Steve Harvey, right, got the same wace front Wave. Did I ever say the double doors white? Because maybe they should agast Steve Harvey. What a different series. It would be awesome. That was like what Steve Harvey was like remembered for mainly I just watched The Whiz for the first time. Please can there be another adaptation of Harry Potter where it's an all black cast? Oh my god, yes, yes, please, and whoever is listening please hire me to do it. Yeah. I work for cheap. I will tell sag whatever you need me to tell them. I'll work all day and all night. Partial nudity, I'll show use the shoulder. That would be so good. Oh yes, I do all my own stunts too perfect. I have my own broom. Let's Oh my god, we were talking about if this movie passes the bactoral test or not. So kind of hard to tell because she does her money. Does mention Harry and Ron in that line of dialogue, However, it's not really what the conversation is about. She's taking the well she's kind of blame for them too. I don't think it passes because the men are or the boys are like integral to that conversation. I could argue that it's like she's talking about being able to defeat a troll and she failed, but she's taking the blame for two boys. That's the reason why I don't take because she could have just said, like I was here taking a monstrous ship. It's unclear why she even feels the need to cover for them anyway. I don't get why that happens. There's no need. I think I possibly because in the context of the scene, they put themselves in danger on her behalf, and maybe she felt it. I could see that way, but that scene doesn't pass for me. And also just the fact that there had to be this much discussion to reach any sort of conclusion. It's just like, well, it probably could have done better. There's female characters around, and then they're only I think two other scenes where there are women together in the room who might have had an opportunity to talk, but it doesn't happen. There's another scene where Professor McGonagall and Hermione. I think they're in her office after she has found them like lurking outside of the cast at she wouldn't be lurking um And she's like, you guys get detention. But I don't think Hermione even speaks in that scene. It's mostly Harry and Professor McGonagall talking. And then later in the movie whenever they're like, we need to talk to Dumbledore. Someone's trying to steal the Chamber of secrets. What's this movie? And what's the operative prop in this one? Like that one? Yeah, I mean the first four that it's it's Harry Potter and this prop. Harry Potter in a rock, Harry Potter and Harry Potter in a building, Harry Potter in a cup. He's a prov comedian. He's a comedian, a petition I'm figured anyway. In that scene also she's like Dumbledore's not here, he's in London for the Ministry of Magic. Again, her money doesn't say anything. So surprisingly, few opportunities for women to even talk in the movie. It's a symptom of the problem of storytellers not feeling the need to just make more of the characters women. There's so many, like of the male characters, we've got Harry Ron Dumbledore, Haggard, Draco, Neville, long Bottom, Snape, Quarrel, Baltimore, and then like secondary and tertiary characters like Oliver, would the Weasley, the other Brothers, Flitwick, nearly Headless, Nick, the Centaur, Man in the Woods, and then really, of the main female characters, it's Hermione and Profession McGonagall, and that's pretty much it. There's Madam Hooch, he's she says a few lines, and Petunia has a bit of a role in the story, but like they never intersect with other female characters, or they rarely do. I would be interested, and maybe there are we have listeners who are hardcore enough Harry Potter fans. I'm sure this exists out there somewhere, but be interested in how that evolves over from like movie to movie, from story to story, and then eventually from my guest director to director. Because this one I doesn't pass, I would imagine, because I think the second movie is kind of the same exact tame as the first movie. If it does pass, probably not by that much. But it's I don't know, I mean, it's not nothing's going to make me rewatch these movies. I thought it would be interested to know. We see much more of Mrs Weasley in the second movie, that's true. Yeah, we see of the new professors. It's the Gildroy Lockhart. So he's a handsome, handsome, handsome cut guy who can't do anything mediocres actor you TV one on one. Uh yeah, i'd have to really, let's just do all the Harry Potter movies back if you're another episode, absolutely, because I have strong opinions and I can think of some scenes from like later ones where I'm like, this would totally pass the Bechtel test for sure, like Book seven, right, for sure, the Unbridged movie. That's gotta pass because she's in so much of it, and I feel like to her McGonagall, like have it out at some point, or like, I Harriston, I think I just actually called you Haristotle, Haristotle, Haristotle. You should go by Harry for short, Harry Potter. Okay, Harry Stottle don't make Harry Stotle. He doesn't deserve it in a good way. And then hot take, I agree that let's write the movie on her nipple scale. We read the movie on a scale of zero to five nipples based on its portrayal of women. I would say I'm gonna give it three or three and a half. I'll skew down to a three because I think it could have done a better job, especially considering it was adapted from source material written by a woman. I don't know why she didn't include of the female characters that there are a lot of them are. Yes, they're strong characters, they are well developed, but there's just not enough of them that contribute that much to the story. Hermione is great, and I think, as we've agreed, she has more bearing on the story than Ron, who is virtually useless. But man, I'm gonna get so many tweets people Ron, would you? And I just wish that the gender balance was more equal, Like why aren't there more female characters who are contributing more to the story. That might improve down the road, but at least for this first movie, I'm gonna go with the three nipples. The nipples belong two of them. I love giving having a nipple belong to an animal, so um. Two of them belong to the three headed dog Fluffy, so it's got some fluffy nipples. And then the third one it belongs to the center, whose nipples. We do see whose nipple? Oh yeah, we do. Because he's shirtless. You can see his big horse dick, and we see his nipples, his human nipples. We see that half horse talk. I'm going to piggyback on you. I agree with three because similar reasons. There are not really any female characters that we are actively introduced my as Susan Bones. But like almost every female character were introduced to is strong, is a professional, or at least has enough of a background that you understand where they're coming from, which is all you can ask out of a character. They're not. You know, they're not all going to be fucking wonder woman bad ass bitches, but we know where they're coming from their characters. That I feel like is pretty impressive for any movie. But they don't talk to each other. And I think another positive thing you can say for this movie is that women are not actively punished in the way I think women in major movies often are just because they are women and around. But again, that is not a trophy or an accomplishment. That's just something that you wouldn't should default too. But movies can't even manage to default to that, right, Like movies that came out ten years after that, movies that came out sucking yesterday. It still can't pull it off for a lot of the time. So that's good. But three nipples because they don't talked to each other enough. Give two of the nipples to Double Door, but Steve, Steve Harvey, Double Door, and then I'll give my last nipple to Ron's Rats who turns out it turns out to be that that British character actor who's in every movie. Yeah, so three, yeah, I would agree with that. I would give three. I was leaning to three and a half nipples because of the strong female characters UM that were an important part of the story, but their inclusion in the story was what kind of what gave them that ceiling. I didn't like that they didn't talk to each other. I didn't like that Hermione didn't have other feet. Like I can't even off the top of my head be like, oh, yeah, this other woman is a griffin door. Oh I've seen you know, other griffin doors sitting around, Like I've seen other male griffin door sitting around. It was just an emphasis on men with strong female characters sprinkled in UM and men's relationships like all the bonds apart from his bond with Hermione, most of the like relationships in the movies Harry and Hagrid, Harry and Dumbledore's budding, Harry and Ron Christmas together. Sorry, yeah, there's no happy Christmas. Christmas real British? Yeah was there to the celebrating Christian holidays. Here's some Christian witches. Let's see who get these nipples? Um? I would give the half nipple is ms Norris? Cool because very small kitties have eight nipples, as we recently learned from the line Caitlyn and I captured a strike and count it? Wait what was the movie? Like? They're from the Wizard of Oz because I was like the cowardly lion. How many nipples do cats have? And eight is the number? Sixt eight one and a half yeah? Um. And then another nipple goes to Professor flit Wick. Is he the one who was decorating the Christmas tree? He gets because I really feel like he's seen some stuff out there. And another nip goes to uh, you know what, I'm gonna give this nip to Snap? Okay, oh yeah, I can't get a lot of love, right. You get to have a nipple and his perky okay, and it would be that's why his robes are so flowing. His nips are hard. Just the one nip this year is real hard and just I learned it. You earned it. I like it recipes Alan Rickman. Yeah, well, Maggie, thank you so much for being here. Then I would say even magical. Where can people find you online? I'm on Twitter at Maggie May ha ha and that's m a y ees may. I got a Facebook page out there, Craigslist sometimes looking for a dresser. Hit a nuck on Craigslist. If you've got a dresser, I'm on I'm on some magic apps. You muggles wouldn't know anything about y'all wouldn't know anything about that. Y'all don't know about match app, match app now, okay, don't worry about it. That so, but you can find me on Twitter. I'll be there. You can follow us on Twitter at Bechtel Cast. You should follow us on Instagram at Becktel Cast. You can email us at the Becktel Cast at gmail dot com. There's a Facebook page you can We've got a Facebook also called the Bechtel Cast. We're everywhere, no reason and not I hang out with us. We got a Bengo a lot. I'm gonna Bengal on Wednesday nights sometimes if we're not busy, right. That sounds fun though. Yeah, we would love me nice. I'll go. I won't talk about any man either. O. Yeah, I think please please come with us. It'll be a blast. Let's be friends. I'm gonna say something really good to close out. The episode comes here. It comes um about about all right. Bye bye,