Baddies, Babies, and Big D*** Energy

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hi, Amber, Hilelah, Welcome to An Unlikely Affair. Bababe La La Kent and my right hand Amber Childers. We are podcasting for an Unlikely Affair live from.

00:00:19
Speaker 2: Radio Row in San Francisco.

00:00:23
Speaker 3: And I'm so thrilled to be here because I am in my element. Like looking at all the fine mans, I noticed.

00:00:29
Speaker 2: We're not sharing a room. I'm not happy about that. I was. I was a little bummed about it too, But then I was like, I might come in for a little two am snuggle. I guess I could have some fun. Oh oh, I don't know. I like where your head's at. There are some bodies. Ye, there's one over there that I see. What two o'clock? I don't know. How does the clock work twelve one two?

00:00:53
Speaker 3: It's more of a three o'clock I see.

00:00:57
Speaker 2: So we are going to do a Q and A today.

00:00:59
Speaker 3: I'm super excited, you guys wrote in this is like one of my most favorite things to do on the podcast. I feel like we do all the time on untraditionally Laala, but we have not done like a deep dive.

00:01:11
Speaker 2: Q and A for an Unlikely Affair.

00:01:12
Speaker 3: I've been dying to do this since the beginning. Really yes, all right, well let's start. You want to pull them out, all right?

00:01:19
Speaker 2: So we have this little red, very cute box here. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Okay, question number one, Oh Lala, this is actually what was meant for you. Okay, So I agreed that are you considering seeing a therapist in twenty twenty six to work through trauma? You know?

00:01:40
Speaker 3: And you know this woman and I spoke about this woman on season ten of Banner Punk Rules. But therapy, although I know that it's good for you, and I've seen so many people benefit from it, and I'm not saying I haven't seen a therapist since this moment, but I notice that my guard is up in so many different ways, whether it's men.

00:02:05
Speaker 2: Friendships, therapists, that it's going to.

00:02:10
Speaker 3: Take a very special therapist to be able to get me to put my guard down, because at this point, my guard up is like second nature, like you will have done nothing wrong, there's no red flag to be seen, and I just walk around with it up, which I think you relate to some capacity. I'm not sure if that question is wanting me to say yes. Is that like an actual question or kind of like a hey, you should get a therapist.

00:02:34
Speaker 2: No, I think it's I personally from my perspective, if if I can have a say on this, I think you've done so much work on yourself just by living and experiencing and feeling, and like therapy has been a big part of my life for a long time. But I feel like I'm in the same boat with you, Like you're doing great. I think you're doing great, and if something comes up, you need to address pen to paper. That's how I I feel that way as well.

00:03:03
Speaker 3: And also like I don't want a therapist that wants to go back to my childhood.

00:03:08
Speaker 2: It's like that's said and done.

00:03:10
Speaker 3: I don't need to like relive certain things to get like the past is the past.

00:03:17
Speaker 2: Let's move forward.

00:03:18
Speaker 3: So it is like dating, you have to find like your your person.

00:03:23
Speaker 2: Yes, one hundred percent. And if you start with a new therapist, it's like you have to start all over from the beginning. And like you were just saying I'm gonna start over. We've we've we've addressed it, like we've taken all the skeletons out of the closet and our fears and our you know whatever, whatever you're working on, in therapy, and it's like, okay, now you move forward, move forward. Yeah, when it's the year of the horse, you're galloping forward, little bitch.

00:03:48
Speaker 3: But also we work with our sponsors a lot, so that's another thing that like, no, is it therapy, No, but it's someone who actually knows the ins and outs of trauma and how to stay sober. They're long, long story, longer, Like I'll think.

00:04:03
Speaker 2: About it, all right, great, your turn, all right?

00:04:09
Speaker 3: How do you move on from someone you have to co parent with when you're not in contact?

00:04:14
Speaker 2: How do I move on? Yeah?

00:04:17
Speaker 3: How do you move on from someone you have to co parent with when you're not in contact?

00:04:23
Speaker 2: Ooh, it's a daily practice. It's like every twenty four hours, I have to reset because I don't know what's gonna come up. And you know, what I've been told in a lot of books that I read, and you know through my own experience, is that narcissists don't coparent with you. They counterparent, right, So whatever you want to do, they're automatically going to say no. And I again, like it's not just like the mom's way or no way. I'm all for hearing, but unfortunately, in my personal experience. I've had a really difficult time co parenting. Maybe we have a good you know, three days and I get super hopeful and I'm like, oh wow, like we're on a good track, and it's like bam, you forget, you know, you get caught up in like oh maybe they're able to actually, but yeah, you have hope exactly. So there's no such thing for me personally in my journey in in my divorce, there's no such thing as co parenting. It's it's been a real challenge.

00:05:21
Speaker 3: I share that with you. There's no such thing as co parenting in my situation. I don't have the hope. We haven't had a good day in a long time, two separate households. I don't really tell him what's going on at my house. He doesn't tell me what's going on at his. Ocean just knows. The moment she enters the door rules change. Yep, over there. I don't give one fuck what you do. Yeah, the moment you step into this house, you will be respectful, you will be kind, You will say please, thank you, Like let's remember who.

00:05:56
Speaker 2: Runs shit here? Me the captain.

00:06:01
Speaker 3: Yes, you're the child, I am the mother. What I say of what do you do over there? None of my business?

00:06:10
Speaker 2: Amen, sister Amen? All right. Next question for you, is it hard for you that Amber gets along with her ex husband and says positive things about him. How does that make you feel? I've tried. I've tried, But how does that make you feel? I don't know. I don't think we've ever had that experience together, you and me, Like, I don't think you've ever witnessed me. Actually, you know what I say, I think not to answer your own questions on the podcast? Do you talk pleasantly? I don't care how anyone talks about him. People can be kind about him and talk about the positive. And I think the only thing that I've ever said that was positive was he makes it really fun at his house. And it's true he does. It's like Disneyland. Yeah. What I have to say positive is he's doing the best he can. Next question is the Laala she sees on TV? Like the Laala she knows? Have you ever seen it? Well, I've seen like maybe three minutes of a vander Pump saying, and I do have to say, I saw you Laala like very first season. So how many years ago was that?

00:07:24
Speaker 3: I mean, that's been almost I think a decade, more than a decade. My first season I was on, I was twenty four, I'll be thirty six.

00:07:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean it's definitely I I don't watch, you know, the Valley Coming is obviously coming up for you, and the last few seasons of vander Pump I don't watch. So I don't know if that's a fair fair for me to answer that question.

00:07:45
Speaker 3: But what I like, you saw me get Lala in the car today this morning on the way to San Francisco. Really yeah, if that was if that was quote, that's.

00:07:54
Speaker 2: The new version. Oh that's nothing, Okay, you're good. I love who you are, you know, yes, And I love that you have like a sharp tongue and you're you. You could go to the mats, but you don't do it in a way to me anyways. You do it with passion and purpose. And I think a lot of like the Laala that I've seen that would probably be comparable to Laala on Vanner Pump is when we're dealing with our personal lives and our kids, like I've seen, you know, just twenty minutes ago.

00:08:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, what I just doealt what twenty minutes ago? Yeah, constant.

00:08:26
Speaker 2: I know, but you know how good it makes.

00:08:27
Speaker 3: Me feel because you're someone who knows me, like in the most vulnerable and raw state that I have really ever been in, Like you were my one of my first calls. I felt comfortable with you, knowing like when I had left him where I was, I knew you'd keep me safe. I think because you don't watch the show, and you only know I mean real life, from real life.

00:08:53
Speaker 2: You know me in my day to day and as a mom, you come and stay with me.

00:08:56
Speaker 3: But it makes me feel so good that just outside you guys, and I won't get into details, but a situation that involves my ex and I hung up the phone and not with him, but went up to Amber and was like, motherfucker, and she was like, I'm so sorry. That reminds me of this time. And I just feel like we see each other in a way that like no one else is gonna see me.

00:09:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah. What is their biggest worry in their own life? Oh? I love this question. That's a great question. I'm gonna talk. I have many fears. They keep me up at night.

00:09:30
Speaker 3: My biggest worry right now is that I'm going to find a partner who I really really like.

00:09:37
Speaker 2: I know where you're going with this. He wants a baby, and I'm like, okay, let's do this. Where does that? How will that affect so sad?

00:09:47
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's my That's something that I worry about a lot. Now. I'm not saying that I want a third baby. I'm just thinking about the future and what could the future bring, and like, where would that leave her feeling if her older sibling had a dah and her younger sibling had a dad and she did not.

00:10:10
Speaker 2: That's really difficult. That's a really difficult one. Well, I definitely think, what's your biggest worry? My son spots on my face? Well, if we're going vanity, then I laundry. I was like, wow, I was looking at myself in the mirror, going oh my. And when you put makeup on, like you were saying earlier, you I'm just not used to wearing makeup like this, and it's I don't wear it in Montana as much. But I know no. On a very serious note, I've been really playing with the idea of like the same God, we're always so parallel in life. Is you worried about kids right now? Yes? I told you, like, I'm worried that, like if I decide if I meet someone right, because I've been dating more age appropriate men who want children. What is age appropriate for you, like four or five years older than me. Okay, great that they're gonna want want kids. And I wouldn't ever want to rob someone of that experience because I think that is the greatest treasure and gift and experience that you could a human experience you could have as a woman, the miracle of being able to bring a kid in the world and and and see and see you. It's it's just so I have. It's like so weird. It makes me get choked up when I think about it. But I've always I want a boy. I feel like I would be I want a son, So there would be very specific things that I would have to do in order to get a son.

00:11:31
Speaker 3: Like this is not just a I'm sorry last week because we both last night we were like, what if we would have had boys?

00:11:38
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, that was God, thank you God. No, we have amazing girls.

00:11:46
Speaker 3: And but you want the boy, like I want to feel like your your life.

00:11:50
Speaker 2: Is missing that. Yeah, there's like something nudging me in my stomach that's like one more. And then I start thinking about, oh my god, my experience, and I know it would not be the same, because I definitely would not have a baby with someone who was even remotely even close to the experience I had the first go around. I want, I really want a partner, and I want to do it from the beginning, right. I want to do it from like the time of inception, all the way to the delivery room to like, you know, the whole experience. I want that so badly, but I don't know. I'm thirty seven. These eggs might be like, Yo, you're done, bitch, you're done. You just never know well, and that makes me sad too, I.

00:12:36
Speaker 3: Say, I talk about it when I put makeup on and I look at my under eyes, I'm like.

00:12:39
Speaker 2: Oh you are cold. Stop No, not stop. I don't even want to talk about what my eggs are gonna start to look like. Oh. I take so much pride in my ovaries. I know they're beautiful. They are beautiful at every at every stage right next, But you're putting yours back in. No I'm not.

00:12:56
Speaker 3: They're all right here, okay, okay, I like this one. Would they like to see each other find someone. What celebrity would you set each other up with?

00:13:13
Speaker 2: I would who I set you up? Like the type of guy?

00:13:16
Speaker 3: Okay, like like a what's that guy's name? From Fucking the Motorcycle Show, Sons of Anarchy, Charlie Hunnoh my gosh.

00:13:28
Speaker 2: Who's the hearty guy?

00:13:29
Speaker 3: His last name's Hardy, Tom Hardy.

00:13:32
Speaker 2: I see you with like that. Oh I love that you and me both that.

00:13:38
Speaker 3: Is a couple I could masturbate to. One percent. I would masturbate to you and Tom Hardy or Charlie Hunham.

00:13:45
Speaker 2: That's why I see you. Well, can someone make that happen? I think they're both married. They probably aren't. If they are, then then I don't. I don't, But I.

00:13:52
Speaker 3: See that for you, and yes, I do want to see you find someone because I think you deserve that, and likewise, I think you deserve that too.

00:13:58
Speaker 2: So percent an athlete for you one really, Yes, you need someone that's gonna wake your ass up at five am and be like, babe, corn, we're going running. Like I see that because there's like there's and selfishly there's someone on the clippers. Cool uh kwaii cool? Wait? Oh my god, I'm fucking butchering his name. Wait, hold on, I'm gonna pull up a picture. What you want a clippers roster? You won't be disappointed. Here you go look at Oh come on, I know you know him. No, I don't know him. If I did, I would be making phone calls right now. Okay, you will get it together and guess what it's in LA so you wouldn't have to pick up and leave.

00:14:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's very hot. I don't know about me with an athlete, though I do.

00:14:46
Speaker 2: I see it. I picture my heart being hurt a lot with that. But the right one, okay, the right one. They're not all bad? Are your daughters close? E? With the age difference? Oh of course?

00:15:03
Speaker 3: Oh my daughter Ocean loves Riley. But you know what, I know how it's going to end. Riley's gonna get to the age where she like has a car and she's gonna want to go off with her friends. And that's when I worry, because you know, right now, the reason I get her to go over to the other house is because Riley's there.

00:15:24
Speaker 2: I don't think that's gonna happen. Riley takes pride, you guys, remember, Riley's like a little Jewish grandmother. She wants to take care. She like looks forward to seeing ocean and taking care of ocean. And I don't ever seeing that they have a bond that is so beautiful, so beautiful and just like London and Riley. So there was a stage where they wouldn't stop fighting and I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna get through this. They literally were just at each other's necks. And now I slowly see them connecting and different, like Riley just has like a little new boyfriend boyfriend. I can't even say it. The words literally cannot come out of my mouth. Is that her first boyfriend ever? Yes? Do you remember your first boyfriend? Yes? Me too? Third grade?

00:16:11
Speaker 3: I think I was like Taylor, that's curious school picture around.

00:16:15
Speaker 2: Oh and so you know it's funny. I asked Ridley the other day. She goes, no, we're just dating. And I said, well, what does that mean dating? I said, do you guy is dating? At that age? I said, do you guys hold hands and you guys walk each other to class and then like hug and then each go you know, because that's what we used to do. And She's like no, And I was like, okay, do you do you kiss? I was setting her up for this one. I was like, oh, do you kiss? And she's like, ew no, mom, I okay, well what does that mean? She goes, It just means that we're dating. And I was like, do you sit with them at lunch? And she's like no, And I was like, okay, then you know what. I'm good.

00:16:47
Speaker 3: Then it is dating. At that age, you guys are together. You don't look at each other or talk to each other. It's awkward when they passed.

00:16:53
Speaker 2: And by the way, they don't call each other boyfriend. Well she does now, but in the beginning, it's like you ask, will you be my crush? Oh? That's what they How old were you with your first boyfriend? I was probably like eighth or ninth grade. Okay, yeah, that's like a real boyfriend. When did you lose your virginity? Do you remember? Like what thirty seven? When? Really you can't?

00:17:20
Speaker 3: No?

00:17:20
Speaker 2: No, no, I will. I think I was seventeen me too, really? Yeah? Oh my gosh, have you ever done anal? No? Neither. Oh my god. Now I see the similarities. They're all coming out. They're all there. Oh my god. Okay, any idea who shall not be named feels about your friendship. He's I don't think he loves it. I don't think he loves it, but I love it. You know what, he should be counting his blessings. You know what.

00:17:51
Speaker 3: Anybody, any normal person would be like, how amazing is this? Like my two baby mom must get along with each other.

00:18:01
Speaker 2: This is great. You have to remember we're not dealing with someone like that. Nope, nope.

00:18:05
Speaker 3: So but again, like I don't really think much about what he's thinking, Like I don't really care. Yeah, I don't really care. And I can tell that you feel like the hands, the grip around your neck has been released.

00:18:20
Speaker 2: It has I feel that from you.

00:18:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys, thank you so much for listening to another episode of An Unlikely Affair with La Lakhent and Amber Childers.

00:18:29
Speaker 2: We're gonna catch you Thursday. Bye,