Empowering Safety Preparedness: Neko Zairis' Journey from Law Enforcement Mastery to De-Escalation and Crisis Management Skills

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.

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<v Speaker 1>Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post deployment life.

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<v Speaker 1>Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.

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<v Speaker 1>Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, hello, hello everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, we have my buddy, nico Zaras.

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<v Speaker 2>He's a 30-year veteran of law enforcement.

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<v Speaker 2>He brings decades of experience in public safety.

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<v Speaker 2>He specializes in de-escalation tactics, which we're going to talk about some of that today and active threat preparedness, which I'm super excited to pick your brain and get into that.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's see, he is the father of a National Guard member.

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<v Speaker 2>Nico has firsthand insight into how military training impacts both individuals and families, which is what we're all about here.

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<v Speaker 2>His passion lies in educating and equipping others with practical skills to improve personal safety, and in today's world, we all need this right.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm really excited to have Nico on.

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<v Speaker 2>He's also here to share some key strategies for identifying red flags and effectively applying run height fight technique in active threat situations.

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<v Speaker 2>So, nico, we made it.

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<v Speaker 2>Man, you did it, absolutely oh absolutely.

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<v Speaker 3>I love that intro.

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<v Speaker 3>That was just a really nice way of saying hi, this is Nico.

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<v Speaker 3>He's old, so we got that part out of the way.

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<v Speaker 3>But no, thank you so much, man.

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<v Speaker 3>It's an honor to be here.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 2>And hey, buddy, we're both there, man, Don't worry about it.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know, tell us a little bit more about yourself.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, I've been in law enforcement now for about 30 years.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm the first one in my family that decided to break away from the family restaurants and all that Greek, all the Greek jokes.

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<v Speaker 3>So I got into law enforcement back in 1999 and it's been nothing but a passion.

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<v Speaker 3>It's been a crazy ride the whole way.

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<v Speaker 3>I have no regrets.

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<v Speaker 3>It was amazing.

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<v Speaker 3>I did 22 years on the sheriff's department.

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<v Speaker 3>After that I did three years on a much smaller department and now I'm back on a different Sheriff's Department.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, rocking and rolling, like I think I'm young again, but I'm having a blast.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I just saw your induction.

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<v Speaker 2>That was fantastic, thank, you.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you very much, absolutely, and.

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<v Speaker 2>Nico, seriously and.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't say this lightly.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for what you do, thank you for your kind words always.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 2>So really quick.

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<v Speaker 2>Before we get started, I just want to remind everybody to scan the blue QR code on the top right corner of your screen.

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<v Speaker 2>It takes you to empowerperformancestrategiescom.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're listening on the podcast forums later on, again, that's empowerperformancestrategiescom.

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<v Speaker 2>There are all kinds of resources for veterans and first responders.

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<v Speaker 2>There are some books.

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<v Speaker 2>I've written all kinds of things in their Facebook pages to get involved and be part of the community as well.

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<v Speaker 2>So just want to drop that in there and also stay tuned to the end, because my friend Nico is going to give us our three tips to get veterans and their families further faster, and he may be dropping a dad joke in there because he's kind of known for it.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, nico.

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<v Speaker 2>So you ready to get started?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm ready, sir, fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>So from your experience in law enforcement, what are some of the most critical steps you should take when confronted with an active threat situation?

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<v Speaker 2>And give us an example of that kind of active threat situation, if you will.

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<v Speaker 3>I think, overall, that question can be best answered is by trying to have some kind of a plan in place to begin with, because ultimately, I've been a part of a team that's been training police officers now for over 15 years in how to handle an active shooter, active threat situation from the law enforcement side.

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<v Speaker 3>But what I've realized is there aren't that many plans in place for the civilians and that's why I created the program that I did to begin with.

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<v Speaker 3>But ultimately the most simplest is having some kind of a plan in place.

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<v Speaker 2>Excellent, excellent.

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<v Speaker 2>So where would you say you start?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, for me, okay, for instance, you know I do carry CCW and all that stuff, but let's just take someone unarmed just out in the world and craziness happens.

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<v Speaker 2>You know there's red flags, obviously that kind of thing to look for.

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<v Speaker 2>So where would you start for a plan?

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<v Speaker 2>Or you know what red flags are we looking?

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<v Speaker 3>for Even before the red flags and before we're looking for that is, is a self-check.

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<v Speaker 3>It is a check of yourself.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, are you eating right?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, are you breathing right?

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<v Speaker 3>Are you taking care of yourself?

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<v Speaker 3>Because if you're not mentally and physically in a place to be able to handle a situation, I mean okay, it's almost like you're already in the negative.

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<v Speaker 3>So I would even go before even looking for red flags is, maybe, you know, a self-check.

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<v Speaker 3>That would be where I would start.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, and what does that look like for the average person?

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<v Speaker 2>You're checking your breath for breathing patterns.

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<v Speaker 2>Just want to get a little more detailed.

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<v Speaker 3>The faster you breathe, the faster you put yourself out of commission.

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<v Speaker 3>So, basically, it's like you know, some good exercise I mean a routine, a good diet plan, nutrition I mean there's people that I'm associated with that can help with those situations as well too, and then just people laugh.

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<v Speaker 3>It's kind of like.

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<v Speaker 3>It's almost like being happy and being in a good mindset is the first start.

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<v Speaker 2>Love it, Absolutely love it.

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<v Speaker 2>So, being a neuroencoding specialist, you know I always go to.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you get in that mindset?

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<v Speaker 2>So for me, when I coach and train people and so on, I teach them to visualize it a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Do what's called a stop-sealing technique, where you look up at the ceiling, you smile because it releases all the good hormones and it changes your physiology and your state, and then celebrate it, whether that be pat yourself on the back, do a little dance or something.

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<v Speaker 2>So when you visualize that act of threat, you're automatically going to create a neural pathways in your brain to go to that place and default back to your best self.

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<v Speaker 2>So if you can go and do that, you're going to be 10 steps ahead.

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<v Speaker 2>Would you agree?

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely 100%.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So so, as far as okay, so you're breathing.

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<v Speaker 2>So when we are in a relaxed state, our breathing is generally more like a baby.

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<v Speaker 2>So, right, you agree with that?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, awesome.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know, when we do that, when you see a baby breathing and relaxed, you have those big, slow, deep breaths.

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<v Speaker 2>You see the belly rise and go down all those fun things, and so when we're in that same state of relaxation, pay attention, because you'll notice that when we're not and we're stressed out, anxious, overwhelmed, anxiety, all those wonderful things that we do to ourselves with our own thoughts we have shallow breathing, and so you can start working on doing those kinds of things.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it falls right into what Nico's talking about.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, no, I said you got to start there.

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<v Speaker 3>That would be like you said.

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<v Speaker 3>I wanted to answer the question.

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<v Speaker 3>You had to start there before we even look at red flags.

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<v Speaker 3>So thank you for bringing that up.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely and I agree a hundred percent with you, man, when you're in that peak shape, you're thinking right, you're feeling right, you're going to act differently than if you're stressed out, hungover and, you know, angry with the world, angry whatever the case may be.

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<v Speaker 2>So, with red flags, what are some that you teach people to look out for, especially the civilian population, if you will?

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<v Speaker 3>So I make a little joke when I teach class, everyone's like what kind of red flags do you look for?

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<v Speaker 3>People are like, well, I don't know what to look.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, basically, the most simplest is I tell everybody, especially when you have kids, are you ever in a situation when you're with your kids and you know they've done something wrong without them even saying a word?

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<v Speaker 3>Everyone's like yeah, I'm like, congratulations, you just learned the simplest red flag out there, no-transcript.

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<v Speaker 3>So I tell everybody, when you get out of that car, take that deep breath and then just watch while you're breathing of that car.

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<v Speaker 3>Take that deep breath and then just watch While you're breathing, just look and see what's going on.

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<v Speaker 3>Things that aren't in place, they're going to show themselves to you.

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<v Speaker 3>So we keep it pretty simple.

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<v Speaker 3>And then when we bring the program to people's business, then we kind of fine tune those things to business related red flags.

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<v Speaker 3>But ultimately it's just as simple as take a deep breath, look and see what's around you and look at what does not fit in.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely that's.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a fantastic technique.

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<v Speaker 2>I appreciate that.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know that, that, that inner self, you know when you're just again, take a deep breath, look around, you know that guy, that gal, just that's weird, you know, and listen to it right.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean you see employees hanging out in an area you know where it's like no employees allowed or, better yet, employees only and you see people that aren't employees there just start paying attention.

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<v Speaker 3>You know the looks, the mannerisms Again, when I put the programs on it's way more intense and in-depth, but ultimately in the beginning it's just look for what doesn't fit in.

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<v Speaker 2>Got it, and so you see something that doesn't fit in.

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<v Speaker 2>What do you do then?

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<v Speaker 3>No, now it's up to you and your training.

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<v Speaker 3>If you have none, you leave.

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<v Speaker 3>If it doesn't feel right, then you exit.

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<v Speaker 3>Or you tell somebody see something, say something.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean you move it to it's kind of like before something, before waiting till something bad happens.

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<v Speaker 3>Remove yourself from that equation.

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<v Speaker 3>Let somebody know hey, listen, that that's not looking right, that's suspicious, and then let those people there take it from there.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what they're trained for.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, fantastic, and I think that's that's the best advice ever, because if you're not trained for it, you're not trained for it.

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<v Speaker 2>You're just going to go make things worse.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah correct.

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<v Speaker 3>You're going to hurt yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>And then they have to.

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<v Speaker 2>They have to deal with you and the issue, if you will.

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<v Speaker 3>No, you're absolutely right.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>So let's go like, let's go back a step.

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<v Speaker 2>So you, you see something.

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<v Speaker 2>Um do you do when you get out of your car?

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<v Speaker 2>You take your breath, you look around, you're walking into let's just call it walmart um, you see something weird going on.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, what do you automatically like?

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<v Speaker 2>I do, I automatically am looking for.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, if something weird happens in this place, if I'm in a restaurant, if something weird happens where's, my exit.

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<v Speaker 2>What do I do if I need to?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that general for the normal public to?

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<v Speaker 3>do If we're talking about the normal public, absolutely.

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<v Speaker 3>That's why I made the comment about the earbuds and the cell phone and the TikToks.

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<v Speaker 3>Pull your head out of that situation and put it.

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<v Speaker 3>You caught that, I like it, I like it.

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<v Speaker 3>And then just kind of look around and see what's going on, because you need to know where the exits and entrances are.

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<v Speaker 3>You see people hanging out in an area they're not supposed to be.

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<v Speaker 3>You need to know where you can leave.

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<v Speaker 3>First and foremost.

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<v Speaker 3>If you don't feel like going in there, don't.

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<v Speaker 3>But if you notice it when you're already in there, do you know where the exits are?

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<v Speaker 3>Just start thinking more like that we call it head on a swivel and start thinking and start looking at things more strategically.

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<v Speaker 3>And in the world we live in, you have to.

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<v Speaker 3>Here's the best joke, and this is I'm going to make fun of myself, because anytime I go somewhere with my family, we'll go to a restaurant.

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<v Speaker 3>It's funny watching my wife and my kids stare at the table like, well, you gotta wait and see where dad wants to sit down first, you know, and it's kind of like because they know, we, you know, we've been doing this for so long.

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<v Speaker 3>Dad has to know where the door is.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's the one that's going to handle this situation, so everybody can sit whatever they want, but there's that one chair where I have to have because I need to see everybody coming in and out and start thinking like that is definitely on the table.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and do it in a way.

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<v Speaker 2>So let me go back two steps and I want you to answer, please, what is a way we can do that without getting ourselves anxious and overwhelmed and stressed out about being cognizant of our surroundings, if you will.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, we went back to the very beginning.

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<v Speaker 3>We'll call it training or having a plan.

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<v Speaker 3>You work on things.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean as a family.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean I don't have to worry about discussing this with my kids or my wife, because for the 15 years I was teaching active shooter, you want to guess who all the volunteers were?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, my wife and my kids.

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<v Speaker 3>So they have a game plan.

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<v Speaker 3>So they know, they know where to go, they know what to do, they know what dad's going to do, whether you know, I say a certain code word.

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<v Speaker 3>So to say that means okay, we're looking at something that's not right.

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<v Speaker 3>Dad's on it, everybody.

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<v Speaker 3>My wife takes the kids, they exit, we regroup outside.

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<v Speaker 3>We have a plan in place.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's things like that.

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<v Speaker 3>I know some people would say, well, that sounds kind of silly and a little too much.

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<v Speaker 3>But what did I just do?

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<v Speaker 3>I took the anxiety out of it for everybody because you have a plan in place.

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<v Speaker 3>You're prepared.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely love that man.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely love that, would you say.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe another way to do that and have the whole family more active Obviously children, so they do the same thing when they're older.

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<v Speaker 2>Make some kind of a, not to make it a game, but make it more of a playful thing to see, hey, to talk to them and say, hey, if someone came in, what would you do?

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<v Speaker 2>What would that?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, just to do little scenarios as kind of a training slash play thing.

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<v Speaker 3>If you will.

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<v Speaker 3>You answered it.

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<v Speaker 3>That's exactly what you do, because when you're dealing with kids, and especially in today's world, it's all about getting more of being in touch with how they feel and how they would act, especially when you're dealing with kids and people that you've never worked with before, what would you do Now?

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<v Speaker 3>You know what they're going to do, so now you practice that, because, even though they may say something, you're really not going to know until you play the game, and then you can look at that and say, okay, this works All right.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, maybe this didn't work.

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<v Speaker 3>Why don't we try this?

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<v Speaker 3>And you try not to heighten the anxiety and you work on a plan from there, and then everybody's on the same page.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's fantastic.

00:14:20.424 --> 00:14:24.697
<v Speaker 2>Would you do that in every restaurant or in all those scenarios?

00:14:24.697 --> 00:14:28.196
<v Speaker 2>Just I mean, as the time goes on, it probably happens automatically.

00:14:28.196 --> 00:14:30.268
<v Speaker 2>It's you know, learn Well, it probably happens automatically.

00:14:30.288 --> 00:14:30.768
<v Speaker 3>It's, you know, learn.

00:14:30.768 --> 00:14:40.120
<v Speaker 3>Well, it's about having a basic plan because, in reality, even though you can't train for every single restaurant, every single store, but you have a game, you have a plan in place.

00:14:40.120 --> 00:14:44.966
<v Speaker 3>And what I actually did, and what we do, is build confidence.

00:14:44.966 --> 00:14:55.133
<v Speaker 3>That's the number one thing in any program I teach whether it's veterans, children, it doesn't matter is confidence, being able to take that breath and say you know what?

00:14:55.133 --> 00:14:56.227
<v Speaker 3>There is something.

00:14:56.227 --> 00:15:02.076
<v Speaker 3>I have an option here, because doing nothing we all know what happens when you do that yeah, absolutely so.

00:15:02.076 --> 00:15:07.057
<v Speaker 3>Yes, and even doing the wrong thing in a situation, it's kind of like well, it worked, we're here, you know what I'm saying.

00:15:13.985 --> 00:15:17.577
<v Speaker 2>So it's kind of like in an active threat situation, sometimes even doing the wrong thing per se is still better than doing nothing at all, nothing at all.

00:15:17.577 --> 00:15:19.524
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's, that's fantastic advice, thank you, and I absolutely agree.

00:15:19.524 --> 00:15:27.451
<v Speaker 2>When you, when you have confidence in anything you do, people feel it and people also will react with you.

00:15:27.451 --> 00:15:31.374
<v Speaker 2>If that's the scenario, instead of going, people also will react with you.

00:15:31.374 --> 00:15:34.355
<v Speaker 2>If that's the scenario, instead of going correct, then they're going to do the same thing.

00:15:34.355 --> 00:15:38.940
<v Speaker 2>But if someone has a plan and they're making moves and they're doing things, you know you're going to save lives.

00:15:39.841 --> 00:15:40.880
<v Speaker 3>Hey, I want to go with that guy.

00:15:40.880 --> 00:15:50.892
<v Speaker 3>You know it's kind of like it's it and that, ultimately, even though these people maybe have never met you just form, you formulated a plan in place with people that you know it's like you're right.

00:15:50.892 --> 00:15:51.572
<v Speaker 3>Let's follow this guy.

00:15:51.572 --> 00:15:52.293
<v Speaker 3>He knows what he's doing.

00:15:52.854 --> 00:15:54.195
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely so.

00:15:54.195 --> 00:15:56.857
<v Speaker 2>If it ever happens, I want to be in a restaurant with you, buddy.

00:15:57.578 --> 00:15:59.620
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, we'll go grab a bite after this.

00:15:59.620 --> 00:16:03.995
<v Speaker 3>A little travel, but it might take a couple of minutes.

00:16:03.995 --> 00:16:04.576
<v Speaker 3>I got you.

00:16:04.576 --> 00:16:04.998
<v Speaker 3>I got you.

00:16:10.605 --> 00:16:10.865
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely so.

00:16:10.865 --> 00:16:11.265
<v Speaker 2>Um, let's go back to.

00:16:11.265 --> 00:16:11.787
<v Speaker 2>Uh, you're in a restaurant.

00:16:11.787 --> 00:16:12.227
<v Speaker 2>Something feels weird.

00:16:12.227 --> 00:16:18.499
<v Speaker 2>Somebody pulls out a gun whatever the case may be, knife weapon, whatever it is getting your family.

00:16:18.499 --> 00:16:19.940
<v Speaker 2>Let's talk about that for a minute.

00:16:19.940 --> 00:16:20.779
<v Speaker 2>You know what's the?

00:16:20.779 --> 00:16:39.015
<v Speaker 2>What's the base plan that you generally and again, I know we can't get into a lot of specifics due to time and et cetera, but what is a base plan that you tell people this is what you do, you, you say, you yell jumanji or whatever, whatever your word is and you, you, you know, so the family goes outside.

00:16:39.015 --> 00:16:42.028
<v Speaker 2>You, this is what brought it up as you bringing up about.

00:16:42.028 --> 00:16:46.265
<v Speaker 2>Hey, we're going to meet outside, I'll be there, whatever the case may be.

00:16:46.265 --> 00:16:55.210
<v Speaker 2>So what's a kind of just a simple plan for people to know now so they can go to a restaurant and have this conversation?

00:16:56.131 --> 00:16:59.466
<v Speaker 3>Well, first having a plan with your family and friends.

00:16:59.466 --> 00:17:11.131
<v Speaker 3>Whenever you go somewhere, ultimately, if you can, the first thing you try to do is try to get out, if that's an option, know where your exits are and get out of the threat and get as far away from the threat as possible.

00:17:11.131 --> 00:17:22.166
<v Speaker 3>And whether it's like, ok, we're going to meet two buildings away or something like that, somewhere where if there are shots fired you're still even if you exit, you're not close enough to get hurt, that is ultimately the first thing.

00:17:22.166 --> 00:17:35.772
<v Speaker 3>And then from there it's kind of like, if that option is taken away from you, we teach somewhere to hide, someplace in a room that's locking, if it can, under behind big equipment, away from lights and doors and stuff like that.

00:17:35.772 --> 00:17:41.171
<v Speaker 3>And then if that doesn't work, then obviously we teach the last and final step.

00:17:41.171 --> 00:17:42.453
<v Speaker 3>Well, you have to fight.

00:17:42.453 --> 00:17:44.445
<v Speaker 3>I mean, you bring it to the table.

00:17:44.445 --> 00:17:47.494
<v Speaker 3>If there's one bad person in 20, 30 people in that room, well, it's 30 against one, those odds are a little bit better.

00:17:47.494 --> 00:17:48.577
<v Speaker 3>But we break down those details in that room.

00:17:48.577 --> 00:17:51.105
<v Speaker 3>Well, it's 30 against one, those odds are a little bit better.

00:17:51.105 --> 00:17:54.653
<v Speaker 3>But we break down those details in the actual training.

00:17:54.933 --> 00:17:57.086
<v Speaker 3>But that's how I bring it to my family.

00:17:57.086 --> 00:18:06.116
<v Speaker 3>They've seen it in all the programs, through thousands of police officers and even three times that with the civilians that I put through my active threat active shooter training.

00:18:06.116 --> 00:18:11.698
<v Speaker 3>We teach the steps and we never tell anybody this is what you're going to do.

00:18:11.698 --> 00:18:16.974
<v Speaker 3>That's not because that might not be an option during a situation like that.

00:18:16.974 --> 00:18:24.747
<v Speaker 3>We teach options, we teach confidence and that way people have you know more than one is like oh my God, I'm supposed to do this.

00:18:24.747 --> 00:18:26.309
<v Speaker 3>No, we never.

00:18:26.309 --> 00:18:29.016
<v Speaker 3>We call those training scars.

00:18:29.016 --> 00:18:30.878
<v Speaker 3>We don't ever leave those with anybody.

00:18:30.878 --> 00:18:39.609
<v Speaker 3>It's always giving people a couple of different options and that way, when the you know if something God forbid bad happens, they have a couple options to choose from.

00:18:39.609 --> 00:18:41.450
<v Speaker 3>So we kind of work that into it.

00:18:42.011 --> 00:18:45.294
<v Speaker 2>That's fantastic, you know, and I'm a scuba diver, advanced certified scuba diver.

00:18:45.384 --> 00:18:47.971
<v Speaker 2>And this is very similar to what you know.

00:18:47.971 --> 00:18:49.114
<v Speaker 2>We train, I train.

00:18:49.114 --> 00:19:00.336
<v Speaker 2>I used to go on extra trainings just to hang out with the class, just to work on things and because the more, like you said, confidence so if I lose my mask, I know how to get it, find it, get it back on, clear it, I'm good.

00:19:00.336 --> 00:19:02.525
<v Speaker 2>This is a very similar type situation.

00:19:02.525 --> 00:19:06.615
<v Speaker 2>The more you train, the more it just automatically happens with back to that confidence.

00:19:06.615 --> 00:19:13.551
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and the one thing you can't do is freak out, yeah.

00:19:13.571 --> 00:19:13.992
<v Speaker 3>That's how people die.

00:19:14.012 --> 00:19:14.976
<v Speaker 2>Yeah absolutely, excellent, awesome, very good.

00:19:14.976 --> 00:19:18.586
<v Speaker 2>So is that the run hide fight technique that you were talking about?

00:19:18.807 --> 00:19:35.154
<v Speaker 3>Basically a very, very you know simple version of it and a lot more intense when we're doing the, the hands-on, because the training, basically, if you bring me in to do the training, we do a simple initial two-hour training and then from there we bring that training to the scenarios.

00:19:35.525 --> 00:19:48.336
<v Speaker 3>We sit down, we do a roundtable with your security staff and discuss your safety plan in place and we look at where we try to find some holes in the systems and then we'll practice some scenarios and we'll build from there.

00:19:48.336 --> 00:20:03.426
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, basically we'll discuss that too, but it's a lot more detailed when we do it because it also has to do with the way the building is set up, where the rooms are, how the doors open and close and things like that, which we make it very interactive.

00:20:03.426 --> 00:20:14.861
<v Speaker 3>We want everybody to I don't want to say enjoy, but have fun in the training, because you know, the more you're involved, the more you're in tune, the more you learn.

00:20:14.861 --> 00:20:17.071
<v Speaker 3>So we incorporate that.

00:20:17.071 --> 00:20:18.672
<v Speaker 3>My team and I, that's what we do.

00:20:18.672 --> 00:20:27.316
<v Speaker 3>So we make it for everybody involved and that way when they take this training, it doesn't matter where you're at.

00:20:27.316 --> 00:20:35.756
<v Speaker 3>We don't teach you safety and security per se, like just at Walmart, we teach you plans where you can take them everywhere you go throughout your life.

00:20:36.506 --> 00:20:38.373
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's so fantastic.

00:20:38.373 --> 00:20:41.593
<v Speaker 2>So when we're having lunch I'm sticking around for that first two hour class.

00:20:42.194 --> 00:20:46.595
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely Well, we'll go through it, we'll eat, we'll take a couple of breaks, we'll have some fun.

00:20:48.306 --> 00:20:49.810
<v Speaker 2>So are you training?

00:20:49.810 --> 00:20:51.465
<v Speaker 2>Just uh, I never asked this before.

00:20:51.465 --> 00:20:52.387
<v Speaker 2>Are you just training?

00:20:52.387 --> 00:20:53.692
<v Speaker 2>Are you training corporations?

00:20:53.692 --> 00:20:55.256
<v Speaker 2>What are you training with?

00:20:55.256 --> 00:20:57.872
<v Speaker 2>I believe you do some um police.

00:20:58.574 --> 00:21:02.644
<v Speaker 3>Well, um, I, the the, to answer your question first and foremost.

00:21:02.644 --> 00:21:08.265
<v Speaker 3>The answer would be everybody, anybody, whoever wants the training I make myself available.

00:21:08.265 --> 00:21:18.852
<v Speaker 3>Uh, but I also, uh, I was tasked when I was on my first sheriff's department to create the active shooter program for our officers, and that's the one that we trained.

00:21:18.852 --> 00:21:19.970
<v Speaker 3>There was about 13 of us.

00:21:19.970 --> 00:21:23.174
<v Speaker 3>We created an amazing program.

00:21:23.174 --> 00:21:26.634
<v Speaker 3>We started bringing, we started teaching officers from all departments.

00:21:26.634 --> 00:21:30.534
<v Speaker 3>We wanted everybody to have the same training, no matter what your uniform looked like.

00:21:30.534 --> 00:21:32.798
<v Speaker 3>We wanted all officers to train the same.

00:21:32.798 --> 00:21:37.612
<v Speaker 3>And it was at that time when I realized we're doing all this training and training and training.

00:21:37.612 --> 00:21:39.426
<v Speaker 3>Well, what about some training for the civilians?

00:21:39.426 --> 00:21:52.030
<v Speaker 3>They're the ones that really need it, because the scary thought is that the time distance between when an active shooter situation happens and the response of the police we're getting there, I promise you we're coming, but you know what?

00:21:52.030 --> 00:21:54.455
<v Speaker 3>What happens during that time?

00:21:54.455 --> 00:21:59.739
<v Speaker 3>And that's that's where I come in with my program and I help those people better their chances.

00:22:00.221 --> 00:22:01.747
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's absolutely fantastic.

00:22:01.747 --> 00:22:02.528
<v Speaker 2>It is so needed.

00:22:02.528 --> 00:22:04.493
<v Speaker 2>You know the world, the world is.

00:22:04.493 --> 00:22:06.967
<v Speaker 2>The world is a little little nuts right now.

00:22:06.967 --> 00:22:19.189
<v Speaker 2>Anything that can put somebody ahead of the game for protection, you know, for our veterans and their families, first responders, you know everybody and it's a blessing you're out there doing this stuff.

00:22:19.189 --> 00:22:21.253
<v Speaker 2>I truly do man.

00:22:21.654 --> 00:22:23.246
<v Speaker 3>The honor is mine to be here on your show.

00:22:23.246 --> 00:22:24.867
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, I want to help as many people as I can.

00:22:25.528 --> 00:22:28.574
<v Speaker 2>Oh amen, I love it, absolutely love it.

00:22:28.574 --> 00:22:34.528
<v Speaker 2>So I want to go to a de-escalation, if you will, so we can just get a couple of tips.

00:22:34.528 --> 00:22:38.397
<v Speaker 2>We got about six, seven minutes left here, because time flies when you're having fun.

00:22:38.397 --> 00:22:42.369
<v Speaker 2>We haven't got to any jokes yet, so de-escalation.

00:22:42.369 --> 00:22:58.969
<v Speaker 2>So when you are you're in a fast food place, because you see these videos all the time and you have a client or a client of the restaurant that loses their mind for whatever reason, they're just having a bad day.

00:22:58.969 --> 00:23:14.829
<v Speaker 2>Whatever the case may be, is there certain things that you would say for de-escalation, whether you be an employee at that place or a civilian just in the crossfire, and maybe not a weapon, but somebody that's just pissed for the day, if you will.

00:23:15.872 --> 00:23:33.712
<v Speaker 3>Well, the secret about de-escalation is not elevating the situation and with training you learn the triggers of what you can and can't say, because you learn a lot not so much in the words people use but in the message you get from the words that they're not saying.

00:23:34.516 --> 00:23:40.333
<v Speaker 3>So there's the secret that that's the training that we do, that we learn as police officers and as a SWAT negotiator.

00:23:40.333 --> 00:23:46.090
<v Speaker 3>For almost 15 years on the sheriff's department, we trained.

00:23:46.090 --> 00:23:56.554
<v Speaker 3>Our training was like watching people get to that level and then helping them bring back down and learning the triggers and learning what not to say.

00:23:56.554 --> 00:24:04.417
<v Speaker 3>Because the secret ultimately is, when you're a police officer, it's you go to a situation and it's your job to solve a problem.

00:24:04.417 --> 00:24:12.009
<v Speaker 3>And when you're negotiating a situation like that, you have to revert back to your listening skills.

00:24:12.009 --> 00:24:49.055
<v Speaker 3>You need to be able to listen to them and they're not saying and then getting them to realize that maybe where we're at right now wasn't the way to do it, but ultimately understanding that for that time they are in charge and you need to listen and have them tell you how they feel and then, with training you know, be able to deescalate.

00:24:49.785 --> 00:25:09.698
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so would you say if you were an employee at a restaurant or a civilian that's stuck and can't escape or hide, or whatever the case may be, stuck in the middle of it, aligning with them so that you can actively listen and not just listen to answer is good or just stay out of it and call police.

00:25:10.326 --> 00:25:11.448
<v Speaker 3>If you don't know.

00:25:11.448 --> 00:25:14.957
<v Speaker 3>You don't want to put yourself in a situation that you can't do anything.

00:25:14.957 --> 00:25:23.460
<v Speaker 3>But if I can take a step back and say, ultimately, the best way to look at it is be nice.

00:25:23.460 --> 00:25:25.810
<v Speaker 3>Now people say, like, why do you say that?

00:25:25.810 --> 00:25:26.733
<v Speaker 3>What do you mean be nice?

00:25:26.733 --> 00:25:34.412
<v Speaker 3>Well, I truly believe every human being out there is fighting their own battles that nobody talks about.

00:25:34.412 --> 00:25:38.869
<v Speaker 3>And there's that day, that moment, the situation you literally just brought up.

00:25:38.869 --> 00:25:48.152
<v Speaker 3>It could have been just a fellow employee being a jerk and maybe, just maybe, if they wouldn't have been a jerk.

00:25:49.393 --> 00:25:57.645
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to take a side of either way, other than if somebody would have just been nice in that situation, maybe that wouldn't have happened Again.

00:25:57.645 --> 00:26:05.179
<v Speaker 3>I can't see the future, but I do know in past experiences when people ask me well, how many negotiations have you been in?

00:26:05.179 --> 00:26:07.894
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how many conversations did I have today?

00:26:07.894 --> 00:26:15.739
<v Speaker 3>People don't look at it like that because as long as you're nice to everybody, it's not about trying to be everybody's friend, it's not.

00:26:15.739 --> 00:26:21.718
<v Speaker 3>But if you're nice, that like, wow, it's that handshake, that little how you doing today.

00:26:21.718 --> 00:26:23.310
<v Speaker 3>I don't know what's going on, but you know what.

00:26:23.310 --> 00:26:23.873
<v Speaker 3>Have a great day.

00:26:23.873 --> 00:26:31.576
<v Speaker 3>And you know what, you never remember that moment again, but that person that could have meant everything for them.

00:26:31.576 --> 00:26:40.415
<v Speaker 3>So that's why I say so, if we could take it even before that situation happens and we all learned just to be nicer to everybody, I think that might help a lot.

00:26:41.244 --> 00:26:45.035
<v Speaker 2>I absolutely love that man, so I gotta, I gotta tell you something real quick.

00:26:45.076 --> 00:26:54.395
<v Speaker 2>So there's there's another skill, that that I or or or trick, if you will that I I teach people and it and I everything I teach people I do.

00:26:54.395 --> 00:26:58.106
<v Speaker 2>So it's nothing, I'm teaching theory, I do everything and I know it works.

00:26:58.106 --> 00:27:16.794
<v Speaker 2>I go through a thing where I walk through and in my mind, because we say that a lot of people look at you funny, yeah, they may call you, but I, literally I go through and I, out of gratefulness, I just look at somebody and I intently say I love you inside my head and it changes everything inside of me.

00:27:16.794 --> 00:27:23.298
<v Speaker 2>And here's the trick is, when you do this a lot, you start attracting those positive people.

00:27:23.826 --> 00:27:50.042
<v Speaker 2>I'll go through Walmart, for instance, and I keep saying Walmart, but it's any store, I'm not working for Walmart, everybody, but I'll walk through and it's amazing, by being nice and just that intent and that feeling and that magnetism, if you will, how literally you start having conversations with the most random people and they're amazing and they're grateful and they smile and, like you said, it's amazing, probably change their day, you know, just by a simple little thing like that.

00:27:50.042 --> 00:27:51.346
<v Speaker 2>So I love you brought that up.

00:27:51.969 --> 00:27:52.509
<v Speaker 3>I tell you what.

00:27:52.509 --> 00:27:57.049
<v Speaker 3>Allow me to share a story, since, since we're we're in the mood of sharing stories, I'll.

00:27:57.049 --> 00:27:58.013
<v Speaker 3>This is what I do.

00:27:58.013 --> 00:28:02.325
<v Speaker 3>So and and again, this is something I do inside of me every day.

00:28:02.325 --> 00:28:06.066
<v Speaker 3>That way, you know, it's how I start my day and I tell my family this.

00:28:06.066 --> 00:28:07.267
<v Speaker 3>They look at me kind of like funny.

00:28:07.267 --> 00:28:08.906
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, ok, you don't have to do it.

00:28:08.906 --> 00:28:10.508
<v Speaker 3>I don't share this with a lot of people.

00:28:10.508 --> 00:28:17.269
<v Speaker 3>But the second I walk out my front door, I stop, I take a look around the house is my neighbors.

00:28:17.269 --> 00:28:24.912
<v Speaker 3>I take a deep breath and then I say to myself every day, everything that's about to happen is my fault.

00:28:24.912 --> 00:28:30.094
<v Speaker 3>And people look at me and I brought one of my friends is like, well, why do you do that?

00:28:30.094 --> 00:28:37.476
<v Speaker 3>Well, because every situation, the way you handled it, the outcome is because of the way you handled it.

00:28:37.476 --> 00:28:50.579
<v Speaker 3>So I tell everybody I take that breath and I, I deal with, will see the nice side of me.

00:28:50.579 --> 00:28:57.501
<v Speaker 3>But if I come off as a jerk or something like that, everything that comes from that I brought it on myself.

00:28:57.501 --> 00:29:00.442
<v Speaker 3>So that's how I handle every day.

00:29:00.442 --> 00:29:08.769
<v Speaker 3>And then another funny thing how you say that you tell people that you know I love you inside you.

00:29:08.788 --> 00:29:09.652
<v Speaker 3>I did about 10 years undercover work.

00:29:09.652 --> 00:29:15.113
<v Speaker 3>Now I want you to picture you know, five nine, 220 pound bald guy with a beard, down to here and earrings, walking through Walmart.

00:29:15.113 --> 00:29:19.288
<v Speaker 3>And I remember this day, I will never forget it this little old lady.

00:29:19.288 --> 00:29:20.411
<v Speaker 3>I'm walking down the aisle.

00:29:20.411 --> 00:29:22.817
<v Speaker 3>She took a look at me, she smiled, she goes you're a sweetheart.

00:29:22.817 --> 00:29:23.665
<v Speaker 3>And I'm like.

00:29:23.665 --> 00:29:25.351
<v Speaker 3>She goes.

00:29:25.351 --> 00:29:27.797
<v Speaker 3>I go, ma'am, I'm sorry, what do you mean?

00:29:27.797 --> 00:29:31.586
<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry, what do you mean?

00:29:31.586 --> 00:29:31.906
<v Speaker 3>I'm a sweet.

00:29:31.906 --> 00:29:33.049
<v Speaker 3>She goes your eyes don't lie.

00:29:33.049 --> 00:29:35.536
<v Speaker 3>So I'm like, wow, I'm like, cause, I had no intention on hurting anybody.

00:29:35.536 --> 00:29:41.306
<v Speaker 3>I mean, my job was to do what I needed to do, but you know that that carries over into your personal life, into your work life.

00:29:41.546 --> 00:29:44.368
<v Speaker 3>And I was shopping in Walmart and this literally stopped and smiled at me.

00:29:44.368 --> 00:29:48.594
<v Speaker 3>She goes, she goes, you're a sweetheart, I'm like I don't look like a sweetheart.

00:29:48.594 --> 00:29:49.115
<v Speaker 3>And she laughs.

00:29:49.115 --> 00:29:50.695
<v Speaker 3>She goes no, it's your eyes, they don't lie.

00:29:50.695 --> 00:29:55.566
<v Speaker 3>And I'm like, wow, I'll never forget that day, because it's kind of like it's what you like.

00:29:55.566 --> 00:29:59.310
<v Speaker 3>You said, it's those vibes that you give off and it's and it's true.

00:29:59.310 --> 00:30:04.606
<v Speaker 3>I mean, well, obviously grandma knew it, so I couldn't get past her.

00:30:04.606 --> 00:30:08.210
<v Speaker 3>I wasn't going to be selling grandma any drugs that day, but no, it was.

00:30:08.210 --> 00:30:09.872
<v Speaker 3>It really got that.

00:30:09.872 --> 00:30:10.271
<v Speaker 3>That.

00:30:10.271 --> 00:30:16.616
<v Speaker 3>That like wow, if you really can't tell somebody just by their look, no matter that tough exterior, that mean look, it didn't matter.

00:30:16.616 --> 00:30:19.818
<v Speaker 3>She saw right through it and I'm like, okay, go grandma.

00:30:19.818 --> 00:30:20.299
<v Speaker 3>I'm like.

00:30:20.299 --> 00:30:23.642
<v Speaker 3>So I truly believe being nice is is is very helpful.

00:30:36.565 --> 00:30:39.613
<v Speaker 2>I love it, absolutely love it, and I'll tell you what right now, everybody, if you just take, just take you know 10 seconds to be nice to everybody.

00:30:39.633 --> 00:30:41.057
<v Speaker 3>You see every day when the world be different, when you feel different.

00:30:41.057 --> 00:30:41.397
<v Speaker 3>So I love it, man.

00:30:41.397 --> 00:30:41.598
<v Speaker 3>I love it.

00:30:41.598 --> 00:30:42.059
<v Speaker 3>I'm glad you did not.

00:30:42.059 --> 00:30:42.621
<v Speaker 3>Did not arrest grandma?

00:30:42.641 --> 00:30:43.544
<v Speaker 2>no, she got a free pass that day.

00:30:43.544 --> 00:30:48.179
<v Speaker 2>I think she was up to something man that's what it was absolutely joking.

00:30:48.179 --> 00:30:51.330
<v Speaker 2>All right, so we are past time already, but we've been having too much fun.

00:30:51.330 --> 00:30:58.057
<v Speaker 2>So, um, if we can, I would love for you to go ahead and share, um, how people reach out to you okay.

00:30:58.137 --> 00:31:04.933
<v Speaker 3>well, my name is nico zaris and it's n-e-k-o-z-a-i-r-i-s.

00:31:04.933 --> 00:31:05.654
<v Speaker 3>Uh.

00:31:05.654 --> 00:31:12.394
<v Speaker 3>Nicozariscom is my website and nicozaris at gmailcom is my email.

00:31:12.394 --> 00:31:15.413
<v Speaker 3>You can reach out to me, and my cell phone number is on there too.

00:31:15.413 --> 00:31:16.195
<v Speaker 3>It's on the website.

00:31:16.195 --> 00:31:24.525
<v Speaker 3>You can email me, leave a message on the number, and I would love to be able to bring my active shooter, active threat training to everybody.

00:31:24.525 --> 00:31:29.758
<v Speaker 3>There's no company, corporation, school, church that we wouldn't love to come and talk to and help.

00:31:30.566 --> 00:31:32.413
<v Speaker 2>That's fantastic and thank you Also.

00:31:32.413 --> 00:31:36.397
<v Speaker 2>My wife, susan, did put your website and some information up there for everybody.

00:31:36.625 --> 00:31:37.810
<v Speaker 3>I said thank you very much.

00:31:38.365 --> 00:31:38.928
<v Speaker 2>You just did.

00:31:38.928 --> 00:31:41.967
<v Speaker 2>She's on Fantastic.

00:31:41.967 --> 00:31:49.856
<v Speaker 2>So, nico, as promised at the beginning of the show, I want three tips to get veterans and their families further fast.

00:31:50.670 --> 00:31:50.893
<v Speaker 3>All right.

00:31:50.893 --> 00:31:53.650
<v Speaker 3>So first and foremost, obviously, try to be kind to everybody.

00:31:53.650 --> 00:31:55.575
<v Speaker 3>Make yourself available.

00:31:55.575 --> 00:31:58.893
<v Speaker 3>There's classes out there, there's programs out there to help everybody.

00:31:58.893 --> 00:32:04.550
<v Speaker 3>I know you have them on your show and I would be more than happy to share with the people that I have.

00:32:04.550 --> 00:32:08.126
<v Speaker 3>And then my third one would be try to laugh every day.

00:32:08.126 --> 00:32:10.654
<v Speaker 3>Try to make somebody laugh every day.

00:32:10.654 --> 00:32:16.756
<v Speaker 3>That's why I try to embarrass my kids and my family every chance I can with my dad jokes on my TikTok.

00:32:16.756 --> 00:32:18.652
<v Speaker 3>All it is is a bunch of dad jokes.

00:32:18.652 --> 00:32:20.210
<v Speaker 3>They're all terrible, but you know what?

00:32:20.210 --> 00:32:20.913
<v Speaker 3>It doesn't matter.

00:32:20.913 --> 00:32:22.852
<v Speaker 3>If it makes somebody laugh, it works.

00:32:23.484 --> 00:32:24.625
<v Speaker 2>Hey, buddy, it's not just them.

00:32:24.625 --> 00:32:25.688
<v Speaker 2>I'm laughing too, man.

00:32:26.327 --> 00:32:26.628
<v Speaker 3>Good.

00:32:27.009 --> 00:32:31.433
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for having me, so on that note should we do one?

00:32:31.493 --> 00:32:37.681
<v Speaker 3>All right, I'm going to give you guys one very cringeworthy dad joke, and it's very simple.

00:32:37.681 --> 00:32:43.125
<v Speaker 3>Why does a vampire wear glasses.

00:32:43.125 --> 00:32:45.395
<v Speaker 3>Why?

00:32:45.395 --> 00:32:48.211
<v Speaker 3>Because he's blind as a bat.

00:32:48.211 --> 00:32:51.288
<v Speaker 3>See, I told you they're cringey, but you know what?

00:32:51.288 --> 00:32:52.132
<v Speaker 3>That's what they're there for.

00:32:52.132 --> 00:32:54.170
<v Speaker 3>It made you chuckle and that's what it's all about.

00:32:54.551 --> 00:32:58.134
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to be literally I'll be like two o'clock in the afternoon here.

00:32:58.134 --> 00:33:00.486
<v Speaker 2>I'll be meeting with another client and I'm just going to start giggling.

00:33:00.486 --> 00:33:01.887
<v Speaker 2>They're going to be so confused.

00:33:03.108 --> 00:33:05.952
<v Speaker 3>You know what I'm going to call them delayed reaction dad jokes.

00:33:05.952 --> 00:33:06.413
<v Speaker 3>There you go.

00:33:06.413 --> 00:33:06.914
<v Speaker 3>I like that.

00:33:06.914 --> 00:33:07.996
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to incorporate that.

00:33:08.356 --> 00:33:11.361
<v Speaker 2>There you go, man, and hey, Susan's laughing.

00:33:11.361 --> 00:33:17.676
<v Speaker 2>I mean I don't stop and take the time every time I see one of your posts.

00:33:17.676 --> 00:33:18.798
<v Speaker 2>For no reason, my friend.

00:33:19.586 --> 00:33:20.288
<v Speaker 3>They're on there.

00:33:20.288 --> 00:33:21.751
<v Speaker 3>Please share, repeat.

00:33:21.751 --> 00:33:25.814
<v Speaker 3>You can even say they're yours, as long as it makes somebody laugh, that's all that matters.

00:33:26.505 --> 00:33:26.986
<v Speaker 2>Amen, man.

00:33:26.986 --> 00:33:34.096
<v Speaker 2>Hey, so as we get out of here, I just want to say, you know, and I truly mean this, Thank you for what you do for the world.

00:33:34.096 --> 00:33:36.159
<v Speaker 2>You're a shining light brother.

00:33:36.159 --> 00:33:37.039
<v Speaker 2>You really are.

00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:37.621
<v Speaker 2>So thank you.

00:33:37.621 --> 00:33:39.471
<v Speaker 2>You're a gentleman for having me, sir.

00:33:39.471 --> 00:33:45.079
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, and you know, time is the most precious resource we have as human beings.

00:33:45.079 --> 00:33:45.782
<v Speaker 2>We don't get it back.

00:33:45.782 --> 00:33:46.545
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

00:33:46.545 --> 00:33:47.826
<v Speaker 2>So, thank you for spending the time with us.

00:33:48.527 --> 00:33:49.548
<v Speaker 3>Anytime.

00:33:49.548 --> 00:33:51.150
<v Speaker 3>This was an honor.

00:33:51.150 --> 00:33:53.271
<v Speaker 3>Thank you for allowing me to be on your show.

00:33:53.972 --> 00:33:54.574
<v Speaker 2>Oh, absolutely.

00:33:54.574 --> 00:33:57.958
<v Speaker 2>Anytime we have a lot more to talk about man, we'll get back on here.

00:33:57.958 --> 00:34:01.060
<v Speaker 2>I'm just saying I'll be here, all right, everybody.

00:34:07.077 --> 00:34:07.921
<v Speaker 1>Nico Zaras, we're out of here.

00:34:07.921 --> 00:34:12.771
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.

00:34:12.771 --> 00:34:16.398
<v Speaker 1>We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.

00:34:16.398 --> 00:34:22.952
<v Speaker 1>To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.

00:34:22.952 --> 00:34:27.976
<v Speaker 1>Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.

00:34:27.976 --> 00:34:33.016
<v Speaker 1>Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.

00:34:33.016 --> 00:34:34.771
<v Speaker 1>Catch you on the next episode.