147 | Exploring the Therapeutic Use of Board Games in a Child-Centered Playroom

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi, I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode. I am answering a question from a listener Summer in Illinois

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and her question is about board games in the playroom.

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Really a fun topic because

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we almost always have board games in a child-centered playroom.

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But there's a lot of confusion over how to handle that. And

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is it truly non

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directive? And can you have one in a child-centered playroom?

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And how do you handle game play with kids?

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What do you do under certain circumstances, et cetera, et cetera. So

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we're going to dive into Summer's question together summer.

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Thank you for emailing and thanks for listening in Illinois.

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I was just in Chicago last year for

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the Rays Cubs series as well as the Rays White Sox series.

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So the Rays played both Chicago teams back to back.

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So we went up and we got to go to Wrigley

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and we got to go to the White Sox stadium

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and crazy,

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I couldn't have orchestrated this story if I wanted to.

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It was mid to late April

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and we were sitting in Wrigley Stadium and for those of you non baseball people,

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Wrigley is the stadium.

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It, it's the one with the history and the,

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the wonder and the awe and you walk in

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there and you feel like you're on hallowed ground.

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I mean, the, the feet in cleats that have walked

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in Wrigley. It is just crazy. The history and

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oh my word, all of it, the Ivy wall, blah, blah, blah, could go on. But

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I'm telling you the craziness of this is

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Us little Florida people are up in Chicago,

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mid to late April sitting in Wrigley and it starts snowing.

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So I just wanna let you all know.

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I did not expect to have snow watching a game at Wrigley of all places,

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but I will never ever forget that experience.

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What a cool memory

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and just a fun, fun trip. So

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I was recently in Chicago, Summer. So

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thanks for being up there in Illinois. Hanging out with me.

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All right. So Summer's question, I'm gonna read parts of her email for you all

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and she says my question is a bit complicated or at least it is in my head.

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That's usually how it goes. Right.

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It's not really that hard, but in our head it seems very hard.

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I definitely prefer the child-centered model.

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But one day a week I go to a local elementary school

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and the office that I'm in changes from time to time

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and has board games in them.

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In another training that I completed.

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I was told that board games should not be in a child-centered playroom.

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Absolutely not true.

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The board games can likely not be taken out of the room

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as they're not my belongings and the school is short on space.

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How should I approach this with the clients?

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I've tried both ways and I'm still not sure what works best with one client.

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I put a limit about not touching the other person's things,

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but then for another client, I just let them do whatever they wanted with them.

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Thanks so much.

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All right, Summer. So, thanks for this.

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Let's let's dive in because I do get a lot of questions,

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not only in the coaching program, but even in the Collective,

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we've talked about this a little bit.

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So

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let me begin with the

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declaration that you absolutely can have games in a child-centered playroom.

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And I'm not sure what the context was in which you were

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told that board games should not be in a child-centered playroom,

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but

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that is not the child-centered approach.

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Games are very therapeutically valuable and games serve a purpose.

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Games are in many, many child-centered playrooms,

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but there are some considerations about making it effective.

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So let's talk through those.

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You do want to be intentional about the type of games that you have.

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So obviously, some are in your case,

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they're not your games and you're sharing an office.

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So not that you can necessarily dictate what games are in there.

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But for everyone listening, it is important to realize

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that the games should be therapeutically intentional.

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And there are certain games that are

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very well suited for a child-centered playroom.

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This is not an exhaustive list, but I'm just going to share the ones that

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I have and that many child-centered play therapists keep as a general rule.

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So Risk very popular. Child-centered game,

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Don't Break the Ice,

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Uno cards

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Chutes and Ladders also known as Snakes and Ladders in other countries,

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especially Australia.

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Connect Four

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is a very popular one

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Guess Who

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very helpful Candy Land,

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any type of jigsaw puzzles,

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regular cards. So a traditional deck of cards

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and then also card games. So we often will have Old Maid, we often will have Go Fish,

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those types of card games

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similar to uno where it is cards, but they serve a certain purpose.

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So not an exhaustive list,

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but those are the types of games that I and

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many other child-centered play therapists have in their playrooms.

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So

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the games can absolutely be included in a child-centered playroom.

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And you have to understand the purpose that they serve

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and how it will unfold with kids as they

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are part, are involved in the child center play therapy process.

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So as a general rule if kids gravitate toward games at the beginning of therapy

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so early on in their therapeutic process, if they go toward games,

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we almost always can recognize

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they either have a high anxiety

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level

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or they are craving

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safe play

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that is structured and controlled and

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it feels easy for them to play that kind of game

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while they're warming up, while they're in the initiation stage stage,

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while they're building a relationship with you,

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they're not quite ready to dive into their stuff yet.

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How do they handle that? Fear and overwhelm and worry and, oh my gosh, I,

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I don't know what to play with. I don't want to play.

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I don't know where my play might take me.

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I don't want to be vulnerable. I don't want to dive into this deep junk yet.

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So they will naturally move toward games and structured type of play like that.

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And it's because it's controllable.

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Now,

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that's not inherently a problem.

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The child-centered way,

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the non

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directive way

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says that kids know what they need.

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So if early on in the process,

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they need structure and control and that makes

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them feel safe and at ease and comfortable,

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then

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games provide that for them.

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So early on in the process, we can recognize that there's almost always

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that kind of inclination

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for highly anxious kids or kids that are not ready,

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willing or able to dive into their deeper stuff.

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Yet,

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however, toward the end of treatment,

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kids will also often gravitate, I just about said graduate,

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but that was not what I want to say.

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Gravitate toward

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that type of game structure, controlled calm type of play.

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But that means something completely different at the end of the process,

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when we see children move toward playing games and they're ready to wrap up,

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that is the indication that they

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are no longer feeling pressed to address

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whatever issues they were working on before

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they don't have a need for any new theme to emerge

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and they are very comfortable with you at that point. So a collaborative engagement

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is something that they want.

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So they'll often come in and say you wanna play a game

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and it's just a calm, stable centered activity

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that they are willing and able to do because remember

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their external play is reflective of their internal state.

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So if they are internally calm and stable and centered,

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they can come in and play in that way.

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So playing a game where it's just for fun,

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that's very important at the end of therapy because it's reflective that

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they're not working on any big things anymore in the playroom.

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So

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we see game gravitation

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for different reasons at different points.

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But in both of those scenarios,

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it's still very appropriate in a child-centered playroom.

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Now, other questions that emerge when you do have games in your playroom,

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which you should, by the way, I don't want that to seem like

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it's a choice, you should have games in your playroom.

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So when you have that type of game play,

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other things end up emerging. So what do you do when a child cheats?

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What do you do when a child makes up their own rules?

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What do you do when the game is never played fairly?

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And you lose ad nauseam every single time.

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What do you do when the child is grasping at power and control through gameplay?

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So they are putting themselves in positions of advantage and authority

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and knowledge and all of these

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benefits of being able to orchestrate the entire game

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and how it's played and what the rules are.

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And of course,

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the rules change and the rules are different for you than they are for the kid.

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And then the kid blatantly cheats and then they say,

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ha I win and you were all the way down on number two.

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And I'm specifically talking about Candy, uh sorry, Chutes and Ladders because

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it's hilarious how we were just talking about

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that on the Collective call last week too.

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When you get a kid that's like,

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oh, I get to go up the snakes too or I get to go up the slides too

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and you know, but you only have to go down the slides and whatever. So

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you watch that power dynamic, you watch the cheating,

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you watch the need to be in control.

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You watch them, need to win and need to set them up for success.

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And over time that shifts

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because the pendulum was too far, swung to one side.

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And then over time the child starts to,

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usually,

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you also get to cheat.

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That's usually the first step.

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So the child's cheating, but then you get to cheat too.

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And then all of a sudden, you know, you both win

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and then all of a sudden, you know,

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you actually get to have the same benefits that the child does.

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And then eventually you're playing in a truly

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fair capacity and you might actually win.

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And the child's ok with it.

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Look at the therapeutic value of having those board games in your

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room because the child was able to work through all of that stuff

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while playing a board game with you.

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Which is why board games are so helpful and which

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is why they are appropriate for a child-centered playroom.

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So I hope that you'll find that helpful.

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If you have hesitated having games in your room, you should absolutely have them

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and games are so stinking expensive. Oh, my gosh, we love games.

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Even as a family, we have a ton,

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but I kind of refuse to buy games unless they're

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really on sale because they've just gotten so crazy expensive.

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So

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my encouragement to you is go to thrift stores,

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thrift stores have bazillions of games you do wanna check and

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make sure the pieces are there and stuff like that.

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You need to open it up and assess the contents.

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However, you can get great games very cheap at thrift stores.

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And I would recommend doing that because if you

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want to supplement with games in your playroom,

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you know, you could spend 100 bucks on like four games

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and that's just not

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effective use of funds. In my opinion, I'm pretty frugal. So

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go to thrift stores and get them used.

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And as long as all the pieces are there, you know, look,

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the boxes are gonna get stepped on the corners are gonna get ripped open.

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You know, the boards are gonna,

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the stickers are gonna start to get peeled off of them.

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Kids are hard on games anyway.

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So don't spend money on brand new stuff that's just gonna get messed up

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my unsolicited two cents.

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All right.

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So Summer. Thank you so much for the question.

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I appreciate that.

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And for those of you that have not checked out the Collective yet.

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I would love to have you on there.

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We have two collective calls each week, CCPTCollective.com

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and you get to have Q and A with me twice a week.

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So if you would like to interact and hang out with other CCPTs

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last week, our calls were hilarious y'all. Oh my gosh.

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We were laughing and people were trying to whistle and my word.

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We had such a good time. So

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if you wanna check that out, I'd love to have you on there CCPTCollective.com.

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If you want me to answer a question on the podcast,

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you can always email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com.

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Hope you have a lovely first week of April.

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I'm super grateful for each and every one of you. Love y'all. Talk to you soon. Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr

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Brenna Hicks. For more episodes and resources.

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Please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.