JPMorgan: Sex, Lies, and HR Scandals

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Welcome to brief Recess. I'm Michael Foot, I'm Alissa Melbrand. Should they We're going to talk about self loathing, pro cultural identity, all the cruise ships that I hate and the cesspools that they have haunted virus, how there's no adults in control the JP Morgan Chase sex scandal lawsuit, which turns out to be a hoax, I think. And we're going to answer all your burning questions from the DM, so stick around. Yeah, I was just making sure my high straight.

00:00:36
Speaker 2: Is that what it was?

00:00:37
Speaker 1: Yes? It really was?

00:00:38
Speaker 3: Okay, got it? Jesus complex?

00:00:44
Speaker 1: Sorry all my self loathing. You know how I feel about self floating the thing I don't have at all.

00:00:50
Speaker 3: Clothing, no self loathing whatsoever.

00:00:52
Speaker 1: No, I went to therapy. I figured it out. I went to therapy this weekend.

00:00:56
Speaker 3: How was that?

00:00:57
Speaker 1: I needed like a check in because it's just a lot of change in my life and it's been a minute.

00:01:02
Speaker 3: Do you not go regularly and not anymore? Okay?

00:01:04
Speaker 1: Because she was like, dude, I don't know why you're here, Like I honestly enjoyed going.

00:01:09
Speaker 3: She was like, because Michael is so well adjusted, it's like I really thought I needed to go, and she was like, there are people who actually need help.

00:01:18
Speaker 1: Can you leave me alone? And I was like wow, yeah, And she had done that like a couple of times, and then I would come back and be like, hey, like I'm struggling and we chat.

00:01:25
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, so.

00:01:26
Speaker 1: I went this weekend. She's gen Z. She looked me in the eye and she said like, why did you feel like you should even contact me?

00:01:38
Speaker 3: Why did you you mean, wait, the first time at all or this time?

00:01:42
Speaker 1: This time? She was like, I don't know why you really felt like you should even reach out to me. Yeah, It's like, okay, I guess go fuck myself.

00:01:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, what the hell? I like?

00:01:52
Speaker 1: And then she was like I'm not really hearing like an issue here.

00:01:57
Speaker 3: And I was like, she needs a therapist because she needs what and you know what, she needs a gen x one.

00:02:02
Speaker 1: But it worked because I was like, you know what, pitch, you do got this? You are good? You are fine?

00:02:09
Speaker 3: Are you?

00:02:10
Speaker 1: Yeah? I'd like leaving that call. I felt very confident. I was like, she's right, I do have this. I've got to figure it out. I do know what to do, I do have the answers, I do have the resources, and so it was kind of what I knewed, but it was like a very gen z response. She was like, she's like, how did you get this number? Why even hear talking about self loathing? I know that's the real thorn in your side. It's something that really gets under your skin.

00:02:36
Speaker 3: Raises your hackles. Well, when it comes to things like that, I think, again, you know, my desire to know why, like what happened? Right, what's going on? What's going on in the home, or what's not going on in the home? Is it a hug problem.

00:02:51
Speaker 1: Let's get into a sidebar about self loathing.

00:02:54
Speaker 3: And I actually would like to hear from people about that for themselves, Like do you you is there anybody who is self aware enough to realize that they are self they genuinely don't like things about themselves that they can't change, right, Like, well, I was going to say, like their race and ethnicity, but then I'm thinking about the conversation that, but like, you know, people who are you know, they are closeted. There are people who truly don't like who they are in terms of race or ethnicity, to the point where they have now removed themselves from their family. I told you this before. One time I had someone say to me, and this was an Asian person who said to me with a straight face, that they were like a banana, yellow on the outside and white on the inside. And I was flabbergasted, because my flabbers were gasted. I could not even it was as somebody you know what it is too, as somebody who out of all the problems I've ever had, I feel like the minute I introduced myself high Melissa Albrant Haysian and you do you know what I mean? And there's a pride there and not like a better than anybody else feeling, but like you're not going.

00:04:23
Speaker 1: To make me feel bad about my identity and.

00:04:25
Speaker 3: Not at all, not at all. And so I don't understand why you, as whatever it is that you are, cannot feel just genuine pride in that. I think, you know, whatever it is that you are, You're Irish, you're Italian, you're Jamaican, you're Ganayan, whatever it is, there should be like you should feel good about that.

00:04:45
Speaker 1: Right. What I'm hearing is that your issues with it are really tied to identity, correct, and it's about mostly race, gender, sexual orientation. I think, well, the banana common is insane because there is so much self loathing and like white aspiration. I think, yes, it's in person of color communities.

00:05:05
Speaker 3: It is really interesting, right, it's I don't know, do you watch Oh God, what is his name of that show?

00:05:11
Speaker 1: Gilded Age?

00:05:12
Speaker 3: Yes, the Gilded Age. So last year there was Felicia Vishad came on last year, right, and she is from this very prominent African American family and set in the Gilded Age. And one of the things that she does is her son is courting this other African American woman who is dark skinned, Okay, and the whole season is her trying to come to terms with it. And then there's another part in this show where there are some kids, black kids running out outside and she yells at the housekeeper to bring them back in the house or use an umbrella, because these kids don't need to get any darker, right. And the whole thing about that is in the the guy was saying to doctor Truvelle is there was a moment where people aspired to be if not white, then as light as possible as a way of making themselves sort of not stigmatized, not victimized. And I understand that, right, but it's really interesting to me to see that that is still in the Year of Our Lord twenty twenty sixties. Just tells me that I say this all the time, is that the long arm of colonialism is still with us, and it just it makes me feel I know. The other day we're talking about how I don't ever feel bad for anybody, but actually I do. I do feel really sorry for people like that, that you are not able to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what it is that you see. And I'm not talking about whether you're too thin or too fat or you want to change your body. That's not what I mean. But like, you know, years ago, I had a friend of mine who was Filipino, and she had said to me, and she was engaged to an Italian guy, and she had said to me that the idea of marrying another Filipino made her feel ill. And I just remember feeling again, really really sorry for that. Like and she loved her parents, she loved her dad, but there was something about being with a white person that I think that made her feel is a status symbol and also what her kids would look like. And I gotta tell you, I know it's so uncomfortable, oh so uncomfortable, and I and I just really wonder today, what is that about today?

00:07:38
Speaker 1: Right?

00:07:39
Speaker 3: I do appreciate what it might have been like generations ago, but today.

00:07:45
Speaker 1: For me, it's like what self loathing it comes down to. It sounds like what we're talking about here is self loathing of any sort of minority.

00:07:53
Speaker 3: Right, any sort. It's not just it's not just race.

00:07:55
Speaker 1: And so the world already in so many ways tells you that it doesn't like you when you're a person of color, when you're queer, whatever. So all of that is going to be happening in the world. The one thing you can control is whether or not you love yourself, or whether whether or not you buy into it. And I think what I'm hearing is that like a lot of these people are buying into it, or these situations, like people we know who are hiding their heritage or hiding where they come from, or not talking about their family because they're ashamed that they're from a certain country. In the queer context, is mask gay men acting as masculine and straight as possible is still very coveted in the gay community.

00:08:37
Speaker 3: So it's like, so you mean somebody who could pass for straight.

00:08:42
Speaker 1: Pass for straight, acts like they're on the football team. Looks like that that is very much the ideal. And I have the same sort of raises my hackles, because that is self loathing of your queer identity, or this notion that if you are too effeminate, or if you are a sissy, or if you are you're acting too gay, it's considered less than or you're not the ideal in the gay community.

00:09:12
Speaker 3: Do you think that that? Like, so, if somebody is more effeminate, let's say, are they somehow less desirable?

00:09:19
Speaker 1: That's pretty much usually what happens, I think in the gay community, at least gay men.

00:09:24
Speaker 3: Okay, that is sort of like the same thing happens for lesbians, right, like somebody who is sort of more masked as opposed to more feminine.

00:09:31
Speaker 1: Based off like my lesbian friends. I think that there is I'm there is sort of like an equivalent, sure, of course, like a beautiful lipstick lesbian or someone who has very traditionally beautiful features, right, But what it comes down to it for me is like everyone fucking hates us for so many reasons, like why don't you just.

00:09:54
Speaker 3: Like what you're like, it's just.

00:09:55
Speaker 1: This is the one thing you can control how you feel about you.

00:09:58
Speaker 3: But I think that that's what it is, right. I think all of us, no matter where we are self living or not, right, I think we are influenced by outside voices.

00:10:07
Speaker 1: Right. It's also an affront to me, Okay, other gay people are like, oh, well he is too effeminate or not mask enough. That pisses me off. And I think it's the same for you. Where you see other black people who are like, oh, that person's too dark skinned, or I want my kids to be light skinned. It's like, no, you're actually doing harm to other queer people's and people of colors experiences because you are upholding this ideal, correct, this colonial ideal.

00:10:42
Speaker 3: I do wonder though, again, because I think that that stuff is so deeply ingrained that I don't believe that unless you are able to have some distance from it, that people with that line of thinking believe that they are being harmful.

00:10:58
Speaker 1: Right, Right, But that's also why I won't engage with you. If you are a copy paste chiseled up white dude footballer in a gay bar and you're not talking to other people, or you're not or or I hear comments like that, not that I won't talk to you, but if I hear comments like that where you are sort of maintaining that status quo, get out of here.

00:11:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I know. Do you not just grow up? But like you sort of work past it? Is that something that I mean? And is it possible? Right?

00:11:27
Speaker 1: Like?

00:11:27
Speaker 3: Is are you? Are you doomed to be this way forever?

00:11:32
Speaker 1: You and I have worked past it, right, Like I have gotten past it for me.

00:11:36
Speaker 3: I gotta tell you, I never had that problem with myself, Like do you know what I mean? There was never a moment where I wished for or aspired for whiteness or anything like that. I think my parents, without my parents ever would have said anything about it. But because of the way that both of my parents held themselves and behaved, there was never a moment in my household, in my family where it was like you should really want to be with a white person or you should want to be white yourself. That was never. There were other things that I feel like my parents didn't do a great job on, but like that's not one of them. And my brother and I were talking about this the other day about how much we both love Haiti so much. And it's because of the way my mom and dad talked about Haiti and how often we went as kids, you know what I mean. I think all that is very much experience based.

00:12:33
Speaker 1: I am like actually jealous of how you have like a very close affinity to a country that's like part of your identity. Maybe jealous is a strong word, but I like, I don't know really what that's like because I'm here and I'm constantly criticizing the country where I'm from. But I guess it's a close I feel a very strong affinity to the city of New York, Like that is my for sure, that is my idea.

00:12:57
Speaker 3: You know, it's so funny that you say that I was thinking about that the other day, about about American people. Yeah, you don't feel because I have to tell you just because so just because I love being Haitian and I wouldn't be anything else, doesn't mean that I do not have a lot of criticisms for Haiti and Haitian people. Okay, right, it doesn't mean that. So you don't think it's possible or you tell me right, like to feel very proud of being American and being so proud of being American that you want to do whatever it is that you can do to make sure that she's better than what she is.

00:13:34
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I think it is like one of these things where it's so specific. Right for me to be like a proud American is to try and force it to be better. Right. And I don't know if I don't know if that's the same that you feel for Haiti. Right, Like, I feel like a lot of your connection to Haiti is like cultural, maybe not political. I don't know. I don't want to like a son.

00:13:56
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, yeah, it is. It is cultural and it's it is familial love. You know.

00:14:04
Speaker 1: I have a fierce network of Haitians.

00:14:06
Speaker 3: I do.

00:14:07
Speaker 1: I do everything about every Haitian in New York, unbelievable. And you can figure out if someone's Haiti if there quickly.

00:14:15
Speaker 3: That one, that one there, that one right there.

00:14:17
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she just pulled that. Actually there's a memory behind me. She figured that out. But yeah, so watch out if you're hiding how Haitian you are because Melissa is gonna.

00:14:26
Speaker 3: Fund you don't don't that for me. But as far as Haiti politically, I don't mind saying that. I'm very disappointed. Oh yeah, do you know what I mean? I'm super disappointed, and it's I'm disappointed because I know that they we can do better, right, And anytime I go someplace else that's similar to hate, like another island, I'm always just like, Wow, Haiti could be like this. Our food is so good, the music is so good, our art is beautiful, the beaches are wonderful. There's no reason why we can't. We can't be just as good as Jamaica therant tourist destination.

00:15:05
Speaker 1: Absolutely do you are you? Can we get into a deep dive about the Haitian politics or could you talk about it?

00:15:12
Speaker 3: We could, except that I fully admit that I am not as malagy research and that and maybe you can have somebody on that would be cool.

00:15:24
Speaker 1: Okay, let's get into an algorithm is showing because a lot of wicked and wild and crazy things have been happening in the world. Do you just random question, have you ever been on a cruise? And do you like to go on cruises?

00:15:34
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm so glad you asked me that I have never been on a cruise and have never had any desire to be on one way before anything. And let me tell you something my parents loved cruises. Yeah, Andre has been dying to get me on a cruise and I have never had and I and I said to him, finally, I'm like, I'll do it for you, but not anymore.

00:15:58
Speaker 1: Not anymore, it's in your contract. I had them updata at exactly. I'm serious, you're not going on a cruise. We can't wrap up the show because you're stuck on a cruise.

00:16:06
Speaker 3: Well, anytime I've ever seen images of a cruise. First of all, all those people pein in that pool because you're pain and there.

00:16:13
Speaker 1: Pain in the pool.

00:16:14
Speaker 3: It's peace getting drunk, you're pissing yourself, absolutely right.

00:16:18
Speaker 1: There's a cruise ship documentary. It was called like the Poop Cruise or something.

00:16:23
Speaker 3: It was like it was like.

00:16:26
Speaker 1: Because everyone got sick, everyone got like rampant food poisoning, and it was I forget the name of the documentary. I saw it came up on Netflix and I was like, I gotta watch that. I gotta save that for later. And I never watched it.

00:16:38
Speaker 3: I'm good.

00:16:39
Speaker 1: And now people are whatever happened with the mice and the haunt of virus, I don't want to know.

00:16:44
Speaker 3: So here's the thing about that this this virus is. Here's my my fear and my belief. Right. So, given what we all went through with COVID, right, do you imagine a scenario where if this really cut to pass, that people will do what they did during cold They will lock down, they won't do it, especially now with this administration going to do anything. You're not going to do anything. So people, I'm good, So people, So people.

00:17:14
Speaker 1: I just feel it's got a dry cough it was.

00:17:16
Speaker 3: I just feel like people will just sort of crumple in the street, like because nobody. No one's going to stay home.

00:17:22
Speaker 1: I think so too. Everyone's just going to be like, well, let's turn the party because I didn't die last time.

00:17:28
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, this is a completely different thing.

00:17:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's going to be the nineties all over again in New York. What do you mean, people just partying, going crazy and wild.

00:17:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. We did do that.

00:17:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, we did do that.

00:17:39
Speaker 3: We did.

00:17:39
Speaker 1: Hull's Kitchen will be you know, the dumps again.

00:17:42
Speaker 3: Yeah. But I think I wonder though, if gentrification has changed that because health Kitchen is not Healths Kitchen.

00:17:48
Speaker 1: Anymore, but parts OF's Kitchen are still Health's Kitchen. Kind of health you can turn down the wrong street and it's like wrong streets and else. Kitchen. Still you always file them alphabet city, what is it. Avenue A, you're all right, y, Avenue B you're brave, Avenue there's a thing. Avenue C, you're crazy, Avenue D you're dead.

00:18:14
Speaker 3: That's okay.

00:18:16
Speaker 1: When I had hair, a hairdresser told me that that's how long ago this was. And I was on Avenue B getting my haircuts. Yeah you do, Yeah, it was great. It was like shoulder length.

00:18:28
Speaker 3: It was like eighties hairband. That's what he was. He was in sticks Xana do.

00:18:34
Speaker 1: I had the braid. I had a Xana Do braid across night for it. So anyway, this ship has docked, I guess, sir. People are now being quarantined. A couple of them are from New York. Vocals out there talking about how they're strong New Yorkers and I'm like, that's great. They need to do it from afar. We need to do don't be here, right, can't we can't We crowdfund sending them supplies to the boat and let them like quarantine on the boat. Is everyone coming to shore suddenly?

00:19:01
Speaker 3: I mean, do they need medical assistance?

00:19:03
Speaker 1: Maybe it could be that, but a couple of people have died already, and there are five confirmed cases several additional suspected cases. I don't know. It's making me a little nervous.

00:19:15
Speaker 2: When I first heard about it, I was just like, oh, here we here we go, here we go. And there's conspiracy theories that it's not real already.

00:19:23
Speaker 1: I heard a different one that there's an Australian lab that where a hundred vials of virus were stolen two years ago, and maybe that they created this new Andy's I'm sorry, strain of it. They're robbing labs and stealing hint. Yeah, I'm kind of robbing anyone. It's the it's the Irmez store on Fifth Avenue. I'm not why would you rob a lab?

00:19:48
Speaker 3: I was talking to KP about that, yeah, Ermez, and she's she's so all into it, like she's like, well, so she and her boyfriend came over this weekend yesterday for Mother's Day and we did mother say stuff because her mom is out of state. Right, So she was asking me about like my dream bag. I don't have a dream bag. Okay, do you know what I mean?

00:20:11
Speaker 2: Do you?

00:20:11
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:20:12
Speaker 3: So does she and she was, and I was just like, there are some things I care so little about, and this is one of those things.

00:20:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't care that much about it. But it is like a it's like your plastic surgery videos. Like there's something very satisfying about an unboxing video for me. I guess so into it. And when we're eventually in the hantavirus lockdown, I'm going to watch a lot of them. Maybe I'll do some of my own some of my own unboxing. Maybe I'll start to a muck bangs.

00:20:39
Speaker 3: I've never seen a bag that I have felt like, God, I wish that I had the money to get this bag. Yeah, there are other things I feel that way about, but I feel that way about sometimes sometimes jewelry, plastic surgery.

00:21:01
Speaker 1: Get this bag removed. I actually did I dreaming.

00:21:05
Speaker 3: I actually went to my plastic surgeon this this weekend. You did that last week?

00:21:11
Speaker 1: Tell me everything.

00:21:12
Speaker 3: I mean, So for anybody who who doesn't know, it doesn't matter. But so, I have had a couple of procedures because of excessive weight loss. Right, so I needed to have my stomach done, my arm's done, I had my breast done, and I never got my thighs done and I would like to do that, and while we're at it, I kind of want to get my boobs done again. So he you know, I went to him and he drew on me the way that they do.

00:21:42
Speaker 1: I always I don't want anything, but I do kind of want someone to draw me like that. It does seem like the most fun. Everything else after that is excruciating pain, and that seems like the fun part.

00:21:53
Speaker 3: I mean it was, and I like and I like my doctor. He's really funny, but he's not funny, but his dry humor, do you know what I mean? And so when I say something funny, he looks at me like. I remember one time I said something to him and he was like and he looked up at me and he was just like, oh, this is you're making one of your jokes.

00:22:15
Speaker 1: Not laughing.

00:22:16
Speaker 3: No, but the nurse was in there and she was dying and he just he was like doing something to me and he looked at me. He was like, I'm making money of your jokes. Okay anyway, And I love people like that because I'm always trying to get people like that to laugh, right, and so.

00:22:37
Speaker 1: But he never has I injured myself at one point and I asked, Melissa, you know what do I do? And the response I got was from me, yes, I asked you about it, and you were like, well, why don't you just get a like these three procedures done?

00:22:52
Speaker 3: And it was and you were like and you were like, and no memory of it.

00:22:57
Speaker 1: Okay. It was a couple of years ago, and I remember.

00:23:00
Speaker 3: I remember being a bitch.

00:23:03
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, I brought this issue, like I'm really worried about it, and you're like, why don't you just get like four surgeries? And I was like, I made the space that you're like, what are you talking about? And you're like, oh, sorry. You were like, I forget sometimes that not everyone throws themselves under the knife at the first inconvenience.

00:23:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I am. I come from a long line of people who don't mind going to the dot.

00:23:24
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, I forgot that not everyone has a medical gurney in their living room so when they can sit up with a motorized Yeah.

00:23:36
Speaker 3: I was like, I rented one of those chairs.

00:23:40
Speaker 1: You told me. I was like, I don't have I don't have a medical physical.

00:23:46
Speaker 3: I rented the chair, but I needed it. I know you did I couldn't cut.

00:23:51
Speaker 1: Me open like a medical trust.

00:23:53
Speaker 3: What is no, no, no, it was it was a chair. It was like it was a chair that it's the chair because.

00:23:58
Speaker 1: I can't sit up.

00:23:59
Speaker 3: You can't make couldn't you couldn't like I couldn't like sit down. Right, So the chair met me where I was.

00:24:05
Speaker 1: Get yourself a man who treats you like a medical chair like.

00:24:09
Speaker 3: The chair met me where I was. But we all want to be met where we are, right, the chair met me where I was. And then it's and I had a remote control and it's slowly put me back where I needed to be. It was great.

00:24:20
Speaker 1: This is actually that's what my therapist said to me this weekend was find people that meet you where you are.

00:24:25
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like that's a good that's where it's at.

00:24:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it ties into the self loathing too. That's beautiful. That's and that's a beautiful Here we are a full circle. Let's take a break. Okay, let's get into an under oath. I want to talk about are you cool if we talk about JP Morgan Chase in this guy's lawsuit where oh yeah, have you followed this at all a little bit?

00:24:46
Speaker 3: And so when I first saw it. The first thing that I thought about is years ago, right years ago, there was a book called Disclosure by Michael Crichton that was turned into a movie that starred Demi Moore and Michael Douglas. I think it's like a watch early the mid nineties and Demi Moore's character whose name all of a sudden, I'm remembering her name was Meredith, And that's random shit that I remember.

00:25:14
Speaker 1: Is that weird? Why am I like that you can't remember to text me back?

00:25:19
Speaker 3: That's not true. I text you back all the time. He's such a dirty liar. And it was sort of similar to It just reminded me of it because the Demi Moore character was harassing the Michael, she was the Michael character.

00:25:36
Speaker 1: What was like the public's reaction to that? Because what was this one?

00:25:39
Speaker 3: Was this? This was while nineteen ninety four, ninety ninety five.

00:25:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder if it was, like I don't know, I feel like back then, women harassing men were I were probably like, yeah, well no I.

00:25:50
Speaker 3: Don't remember, but I get the film that they were just like that could never happen, do you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't think there was a whole lot of nobody believed it because we were all really aware of men harassing women, but this idea of a woman harassing a man was sort of like, there's no way, right. That's the first thing that I thought about when I saw the closure. Closure Okay, so I read some of the stuff.

00:26:14
Speaker 1: Is just a quick overview of the case for people who are totally unaware of what we're talking about. It has now become a meme where people are so So basically, this guy worked for JP Morgan as a banker cherau Rana, and he filed a lawsuit accusing senior JP Morgan executive Lorna Haginie of turning him into a sex slave. So these are very serious allegations and everyone was quite concerned. I think when they dropped it's a huge bank, the allegations were vivid. They she was roofing him allegedly, there was uh.

00:26:56
Speaker 3: And some of the stuff that she says is like some of the stuff that she is alleged to She says, she said, correct that do you really think management wants some Indian boy leading organizations? That's disgusted, Like, yeah, do you know what I'm saying? And like and some of the other if you don't fuck me soon.

00:27:15
Speaker 1: Also, yes, they do want that, don't they. We care about diversity all the time. Yeah, especially yeah, you know.

00:27:22
Speaker 3: Just so I was reading this stuff and I was just like, oh my god, if you don't have.

00:27:26
Speaker 1: Sex with me tonight, I'm going to sabotage your promotion.

00:27:29
Speaker 3: I mean that is, if you don't fuck me soon, I'm going to ruin you.

00:27:34
Speaker 1: That is like it's like written by AI. If you don't fuck me soon, I'm going to ruin you.

00:27:40
Speaker 3: Never never never forget. I fucking own you.

00:27:43
Speaker 1: That really reads like not real. So this was This was entered in a lawsuit. It was it was he accused her of drugging him with Rufi's and viagra and threatening to slash his bonus if he didn't comply. Like these accusations were like extreme.

00:28:00
Speaker 3: We've talked about this before, right, Sometimes people will do things or say things, and then my response to it is not even like the outrageous thing that you said or did, but it's more like the stupidity involved and how you got to where you are, Like it's not even like this thing. It's like, well, so like the idea that this is the part that really got me. Right, So the crazy plot twist. I am so concerned the amount of people who don't recognize that the stuff.

00:28:30
Speaker 2: That you google is there forever. It's there forever forever. Yeah, any right, it's there forever.

00:28:39
Speaker 3: So even if you delete it, you get rid of your cookies, it's no, but it's there forever. Right. So like if you are looking up ways to like kill your spouse or looking up ways to do X, Y and Z, do it on a friend's computer, right, go to the library. I don't know. I'm sorry, but I think I'm just really concerned the amount of people who don't recognize that you won't be able to get away with it because they're going to do a deep dive and they're going to find out that you did this. For example, this man went to ask a lawyer on call dot com.

00:29:19
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus christ oh no, and wrote all.

00:29:24
Speaker 3: Of these things yes, and basically lifted the stuff that he.

00:29:28
Speaker 1: Got from an AI chatbot and put it into this lawsuit.

00:29:33
Speaker 3: Correct. And again it's almost like the people who are still falling for the Nigerian print scam. Yes, like why are you still falling for this?

00:29:43
Speaker 1: And so it turns out that all of his claims were very much indefensible and quite spurious. I think people concluded none, none of this happened. She was like, I've never even managed him, and like JP Morgan, Chase did a full investigation and they couldn't find any actual evidence that this happened.

00:30:05
Speaker 3: He was just going after a payday, basically, think so.

00:30:07
Speaker 1: But jpmore and Chase offered him a million dollars before the lawsuit blew up. They offered him a million dollars to make this go away, and he turned it down again.

00:30:15
Speaker 3: And the thing is is that here's the problem with stuff like this is that there will be a man who probably has been or will be her currently being, is now afraid to come forward because of people like this. This is what makes me so upset, is because I know that there will be somebody if it hasn't happened already, and I'm sure that it has, who finds himself in this position, and especially as a man who maybe is being harassed by a woman, right, who would be afraid to come out and say that this is what's happening to him because of someone like this, and think.

00:30:57
Speaker 1: About her as well, right, Because if there is nothing that she did wrong, and this is just someone's wild claims that they put into a.

00:31:05
Speaker 3: Liver time she's googled.

00:31:07
Speaker 1: I saw a meme. It was someone was sitting with her across from her at lunch and took a photo. In the caption was first day at work, lunch with my manager.

00:31:15
Speaker 3: Oh see, that's it's fucked up.

00:31:17
Speaker 1: Actually yeah, because it's like, okay, this is like her whole career. She maybe didn't even manage this guy, and now he was like wild and made up these claims and filed a lawsuit. If you want to file, if you want to sue your employer for harassment or discrimination after you're fired or while you're still working there, here's how you do it. Document everything. You need screenshots, you need text messages, you need emails, you need receipts. I always people call me all the time and they're like, my boss did this crazy thing. I said, great, email yourself and copy your personal email address detailing what happened on that day. It will be timestamped. Like you said, Google history is forever, so's your emails. So email your personal account saying Melissa said this to me on this day, and it will be TimesTime with the date correct. Even if you never use it, even percent of the times, you will never need it, but you will have a record of it. Even if you're just emailing yourself on your personal email account, you then have a receipt record of what happened. So the first thing a lawyer is going to ask you, if you're going to try and see your employer, how old are you? First question age discrimination, gender, race, that's next protected classes. Then they're going to ask you for documentation exactly what happened. They're going to try and fit it into a couple different buckets. So one would be hostile work environment. So we've got an environment that you were just subjected to that was absolutely crazy, dangerous for your health. We need to be able to show that somehow right. So that's through your whatever emails, your documentation. That's all the ye On this date, my boss screamed at me and said, yeah, three a stapler. Whatever it is, we know someone who threw a stapler. I do, that's what we're laughing. But duck, if someone's throwing a stapler.

00:33:14
Speaker 3: I'm just thinking about the person who's through the stapler, pregnant silence anywayant.

00:33:20
Speaker 1: Pause for the listeners. Dead air made the dead air fill your lungs. So anyway, then you're going to want to another way you could probably see your employer is for discrimination, sure, or retribution, like right if you were fired or yeah, so you would want to be able to show that you were treated differently because of was he did?

00:33:43
Speaker 3: He did? He and I sort of stopped following after a little bit. But did he ever come up with any receipts at all?

00:33:52
Speaker 1: JP Morgan, spokesperson said following our investigation, we don't believe there's any merits to these claims. While numerous employees cooperated, the complainant ree use to participate and declined to provide facts that would be central to supporting his allegations. I mean, his one receipt was his like lifelong childhood friend who who is staying at his apartment and claims that she was came over to his apartment one night and sat next to him naked on a couch and asked if you want to have a threesome. Like that's but this is like his lifelong childhood friend who's corroborating his story. Okay, but this is verifiable. Let's get the surveillance footage. Let's get like her like uber account.

00:34:29
Speaker 3: Right, like and if it's yeah, and if he lives, this is this New York Yeah, then we see her coming in and out. There's no way in a doorman, there's something.

00:34:40
Speaker 1: You're on camera five thousand times a day in New York City, Like, we can easily verify that.

00:34:44
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, So did it just eventually go away?

00:34:48
Speaker 1: Her lawyer denies everything.

00:34:51
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:34:51
Speaker 1: I feel like there was an article that was like this was not real, like it was literally made up. But that was like the maybe that's like the public consensus. Right, he he claimed that his father was dead or was dying and.

00:35:02
Speaker 3: Dead, and saw that he made up that his dad was dead. Meanwhile, somebody went to his dad's house. Dad was like, oh, he didn't tell us anything, and he's a good boy. He's a good guy, my son, before closing the door. And here's the other thing about stuff like that, right, my dad.

00:35:18
Speaker 1: Would never say that. If you he'd be like who.

00:35:23
Speaker 3: But this is the thing that just kills me about people and their stupidity. Right, you're going to lie, and you need someone to corroborate this story. Tell them, tell them if I want Michael to lie for me. I'm going to say to him, Listen, I'm about to tell somebody that I was with you. Okay, but you don't want.

00:35:40
Speaker 1: To answer the phone. She's an incredible employee. She was the best team member I've ever had.

00:35:45
Speaker 3: But do you know what I'm saying, Like, if you're going to lie, yeah, and you're going to need someone to help you clue them in.

00:35:52
Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah, everyone has the friend who's the fake reference. Everyone has the friend reference had.

00:36:00
Speaker 3: This person wasn't my friend, but I had a colleague who was just like, listen, if you ever need a reference, just call me up. And they were like, it doesn't We'll figure something out. And I was like, okay. I mean I never had to use them, but I was like, but they.

00:36:20
Speaker 1: That is like one of the best ways you can be a resource to someone. I had a friend. I got a call from the employer as their reference never worked for me. It was for a dog groomer. Wow, Wow, you gotta tip me off, babe.

00:36:39
Speaker 3: She didn't tell you. But I don't understand. That's like, that's like lying one O one would do. She wouldn't know. I'm going to stand up for my girl. So she would never do that, that Disney bitch, wouldn't she would.

00:36:57
Speaker 1: Wait. She texted me this weekend.

00:36:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, is she back in the States.

00:37:01
Speaker 1: She was like, are you on your way? And I was like where where are you? And she was like literally the switch, she said, I'll pull it up, I'll read it. To the wedding in Venice. Oh, I invited you last week. You said you'd come. I was like, yeah, I was joking, aroun'd going to Venice with you.

00:37:17
Speaker 3: I would have gone.

00:37:17
Speaker 1: Wouldn't that be fun?

00:37:19
Speaker 3: And I like weddings.

00:37:20
Speaker 1: I don't like Venice.

00:37:21
Speaker 2: Do you like that?

00:37:22
Speaker 3: I've never been to Venice. That's why I would have gone.

00:37:24
Speaker 1: It smells, it's hot, it smells its smell.

00:37:28
Speaker 3: Why is it? Is it because of the it's like sewer?

00:37:33
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:37:33
Speaker 3: Huh, I don't know.

00:37:35
Speaker 1: I feel like a bunch of Italians are going to get mad. Yeah now, but I actually think not that many Italians live in Venice anymore. It's like ninety transplants. Oh, it's like a lot of things.

00:37:44
Speaker 3: We ruin everything. Get them straight to camera, get get the bridging tunnel, get them like it's just like you like when I lived in Flatbush, right, Yeah, there was this place. It was like a Jamaican barbecue place, right and you can smell it, right, and the jerk and then a bunch of transplants moved in with kids and whatever else, and they were just like, oh, it's too it's too smoky. They were white, Yeah, they were white, yeah, yeah, yeah, And that place that had been there for twenty years shut down.

00:38:20
Speaker 1: Because it was too smoky. It's like a literal smoked meat store.

00:38:25
Speaker 3: Yeah. But that's the thing. People move to places because they like the edginess, they like whatever it is. But then you move there and then you want to change it, do you know what I'm saying? And that's why I say that. And then transplants also make the rents go up really high, and now people can't afford anything. How a closet and a crackhouse is two million dollars, do you know what I'm saying? And that's because transplants have moved in. They don't they don't make it better. They make it more expensive, and they make it exclusive, and they make it so that the peapeople who were native to the area can no longer afford to live there. And that is why transplants ruined everything.

00:39:06
Speaker 1: I went to Crown Heights to visit, not as a transplant, thank you, And they had all the barbecues on the street and it smells so good. Yeah it's yeah, it's right by my friend's apartment. And I went and yeah, that's what I'm saying. Good.

00:39:19
Speaker 3: So, I mean, so that's too bad about Venice, right, So now that people who historically had lived there feel like they can they've been pushed out, yes, by transplants and tourists.

00:39:29
Speaker 1: Like the tourist situation of menace is insane. Like the speaking of cruise ships. The cruise ships like are rattling. The foundation of that is already thinking yeah, right, like it's already struggle bus right exactly. It's like, yeah, and now the cruise ships are like so many cruise ships come in, all the tourists. It's it's a nightmare.

00:39:49
Speaker 3: I still don't want to go on a cruise. It's like a giant floating peachry dish.

00:39:53
Speaker 1: I read something about all the garbage that is collected on the cruise ships. They drop it at port along the way, and these countries don't have infrastructure to handle they don't all that trash. They don't, and so it ends up polluting the island. The cruishive visits, all the food is not from the local No.

00:40:12
Speaker 3: It isn't community, and the food hasn't ever really looked that good to me.

00:40:16
Speaker 1: Like you're only spending money on the cruise ship, so you're never actually supporting the local community.

00:40:22
Speaker 3: And the other thing that's really interesting sort of we're going to circle back to Haiti that and it's not just Haiti, but a lot of countries in the island have sold portions of their country to the cruise ships, so that now like so for example, in Haiti, Labadi no longer belongs to no longer belongs to Haiti, but it.

00:40:42
Speaker 1: Belongs to Royal Caribbeans somebody like that.

00:40:45
Speaker 3: And it's and it's it's not forever, but it's for a really long time. It'll be for like eighty years or something like that. So like you're not actually supporting the people of the area because that country has sold. I have a memorialism.

00:40:59
Speaker 1: If you're a cruise ship, go fuck yourself. I hate cruise ships. They are always stupid.

00:41:04
Speaker 3: Yes did you hate it?

00:41:06
Speaker 1: Yes?

00:41:06
Speaker 3: Why?

00:41:06
Speaker 1: And I was like a kid, I remember being like this is dumb. And I remember a kid, what did you not like about it being trapped? I'm a gay kid, I'm already trying to survive, and now you're locking me on a boat with all these fucking breeders. They're disgusting, including your parents. I remember, and I wasn't that bougie. I remember being in that pool being like this is gross. Oh that is sickening to even look at it. Yes, it is soup.

00:41:35
Speaker 3: It is people soup.

00:41:37
Speaker 1: And I swim in the New York City YMCA is like on a swim teeth, and that shit is nicer and cleaner than your nasty cruise ship. If you're a cruise ship, get fucked. That's my message for you. I hate you.

00:41:49
Speaker 3: Well, I guess we're not going to get any brand deals from any crews.

00:41:52
Speaker 1: I don't want it. I'd rather be on the breadline than take your dirty cruise ship money. Shove it.

00:41:58
Speaker 3: Okay, let's take a break. The scruple is suddenly a scruple that he's so scrupulous all of a sudden, Let's take a break. I'm mad as hell.

00:42:09
Speaker 1: Why I hate cruise ships? Okay, there's no redeeming quality about a cruise ship. If you support cruise ships. I don't like you.

00:42:17
Speaker 3: Wow, Michael.

00:42:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is I'm taking a stand I see someone. Finally, this is my normal, ray unionize, this is my I took so many ana histamines today. I feel crazy.

00:42:31
Speaker 3: Are you floating?

00:42:32
Speaker 1: I am Jupidter welcome back to briefly says this is tell us from the d MS. Don't message me if you're a cruise ship. They wanted to get it. They wanted me to do stand up. I made a TikTok about it, and they wanted me to do stand up.

00:42:48
Speaker 3: But you're not a stand up.

00:42:49
Speaker 1: I'm not a I'm not a stand up.

00:42:51
Speaker 3: I mean, I think you're a funny guy. I do, oh my god, But I mean you make me laugh, but you make each other laugh.

00:42:57
Speaker 1: I don't have a set.

00:42:59
Speaker 3: Do you think he do it? I could not, But could you do stand up? Or cruise ship stand up?

00:43:05
Speaker 1: I'm opening I'm opening what is it called CJ. I think it's called rat Scraps. It's a UCB improv show that I'm going to open this coming Sunday. Actually, so when says it's Thursday, come on Sunday. If you want to see me in an improv show, there are actual improvisers, not just me, So don't worry. I'm going to do like monologues like they're going to ask me questions, will be like this, like a Q and a okay, and then they'll do improv based off the stories that I tell, right, But it'll have actual improvisers. I think Jeff Hiller is going to be there. I think, like real real actors who know how.

00:43:39
Speaker 3: To do that.

00:43:40
Speaker 1: Not me, not little old me. But no, I don't think I could just stand up okay, but never Okay. So these are details from the DMS And what do I always say?

00:43:49
Speaker 3: Friends? While Michael is a lawyer, he's not your lawyers, so find someone else.

00:43:56
Speaker 1: Okay, these are okay, these are just ths, just some quick comments because some of these comments are really funny. They are from the fake assassination attempt episode. I haven't heard a lot about that fake assassination after it happened. No, no, it's almost like it was fake. Sydney J t f says, my mom's meth recipe is a bottle of Mr Low.

00:44:20
Speaker 2: What.

00:44:20
Speaker 3: I love that so much? Okay, this was like my favorite one actually from the Swedish Latina who facts checks our GFx on YouTube that said slut spurt, not slut spurt. Slutspurt. It's two words, guys.

00:44:39
Speaker 1: Okay, it's two words of shame, the slut spurts. All right. Someone wrote in and said they're listening to the episode talking about limitations on murder. No statute limitations. Right, that's why we have America's most wanted, Right, they're wanted forever for murder. So ICE agents could get charged with a different administration. Yes, that's true. My question is might be better to wait until then so that Trump can't commute any sentences given to an ICE agent for murders they've committed. Yes, that's absolutely true. You nailed it. I will say that the charges that are hitting Trump commutes sentences. That's what presidents do, or they pardon sentences, not charges. So charges are what they hit you with. It's a charging document, it is. It's usually you get charged with like twenty things if you commit a crime and then you plea out certain ones, some charges are dropped, you argue certain ones in court and pre trial hearings. So we've got what two and a half three years left on his term by the time Renee Goods murderer or Alex Prette's murderer, any ice officers who committed homicide while serving as an ice officer, yea, he would not be able to do, like blanket immunity for them before he left office. Have to be the sentence that he would commute. So that is my understanding of it. And those folks are being charged in state court, so that's sort of what's happening. What the Feds can do, what Trump can do is sort of do anything to hinder the investigation, right, so they're tainting evidence, they're not turning anything over there, just completely trying to hamstring the prosecution, is my understanding of those cases.

00:46:25
Speaker 3: I wonder if we're just going to spend the not the rest of our lives, but like just administration after administration just undoing the things that the previous administration did before, do you know what I mean? And it feels like and while you definitely want justice for people, but it feels like we're doing and undoing things all the time. Yes, you know what I mean.

00:46:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like two steps forward, one step back. Sometimes it's a bunch of steps back. That's why with antivirus, I'm like, are we going to learn from any of our mistakes.

00:46:54
Speaker 3: We don't learn anything. No, we really really don't.

00:46:56
Speaker 1: They're like, let them off the boat, Yeah, let them off, let them off.

00:47:00
Speaker 3: Who cares?

00:47:00
Speaker 1: Let them off that shit? Yeah? Yeah? Do you want to read the next one?

00:47:04
Speaker 3: Hi, Michael and Melissa. I'm starting law school in the fall, and there's so much noise with my peers in the schools that I tour about big law or bus and how I'm going to regret it if I pursue criminal law or public interest work. My question is how, in the various stages of your careers, you balance giving of yourself and serving the causes that you value with taking care of yourself and your own needs.

00:47:26
Speaker 1: All right, let's pause there, because that's a big question. So this is like such a great question. I love this so much. I never went the big law route. I never worked at a big law firm. So basically, for those who don't know, in law school, you start to sort of campaign to get these high paying jobs in corporate law, and a lot of people do them, and it's like very sparkly and they come and woo you, and you've got to be at the top of the class. For me, I always the way I always tell people when they ask me, like should I go into big law and like make a bunch of money? Should I do public interest work? Like my advice is always like figure out what works for you, and this is for any career really, like figure out what is going to motivate you to get out of bed every day, because you're gonna have to get out of bed every day and it's gonna suck sometimes. So be able to look at yourself in the mirror is what I say. I have a lot of friends who went into big law and a lot of friends who burned out, hated it went on, like a couple of years after big law went on big like finding myself trips around Asia, like you know when people are they're starting to give the blink twice if you need help sort of face, you know, like it's a grind. And I think a lot of people go into those careers because they're like, I'm just going to make a bucket of money, sell my soul, get out and then do what I want. There are no guarantees in life. There's no guarantees that you will live to be one hundred. What happens if after those two years you find out that you know there are no other jobs for you to go do that, or if there's a chain circumstance, stance in your life or whatever. It is like it's historical cliche like live every day whatever, but it is kind of that sentiment. It's like, Okay, if you are going to quote sell out, I'm not really committing to that term. But if you are going to do something you know you're going to hate and not want to do just for the money, just know that that is valuable, precious time in your life that you're taking and setting aside knowing you're not going to like it. And I always really couldn't grapple with that, and I was also privileged enough to not have to make that choice.

00:49:37
Speaker 3: You need to ask yourself if you can live with whatever it is that you're doing.

00:49:42
Speaker 2: Right.

00:49:42
Speaker 3: So, I was not a lawyer. I was a pairalegal, and it's very different. However, I was a paralegal in big law firms and I was desperately unhappy, desperately unhappy. I was sick all the time, my hair was falling out. It was a lot of pressure. So as a pairalegal, if that's the feeling that I had, I feel like for associates, it's like tenfold, if yet more.

00:50:10
Speaker 2: Right.

00:50:11
Speaker 3: Also, there was a point where I was working on cases where I felt like I was doing the wrong thing for the wrong people. It wasn't illegal, but it was, you know, it was sort of crushing the little guy.

00:50:29
Speaker 1: Right.

00:50:29
Speaker 3: Somebody would bring a case against a huge company, and because this company had so much money behind them, they were able to outspend this other person. And usually what would happen was that other person would give up, not because they were wrong, but because they had a run out of money, right, And that was almost the goal weight them mouth because they're not going to be able to outspend us. And eventually, for me as a pair of legal I realize that this is not what I want to do. I want to help people.

00:51:05
Speaker 1: You're causing harm.

00:51:06
Speaker 3: It felt like I was causing harm, and so that is why I decided not to do that. And not that people who are on social media are always telling us the truth. But every now and then I will no, no, no, just hear me out. Every now and then I will fall on an attorney who's working in big law and they're talking about a day in the life. Right. I've seen those and these are people who are getting to work at say nine o'clock. They're not leaving me office until like eight eight, nine o'clock, they're getting home, they're working until like two o'clock in the morning. Ye, and then they're going back into the office the next day. Do you want to live your life like that?

00:51:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, even if it's just for a couple of years, do you, like truly ask yourself that, is.

00:51:49
Speaker 3: That what you want to do? And you know, are the golden handcuffs? Is it? Is that enough? And maybe it is? And no judgment, right, and no judgment. If that's okay with you, then that's okay with you, and it's fine. But if you are concerned at all about the quality of your life, yep. Do you want to be able to shut it off when you get home or not? Do you want to have a family? Do you want to be in a relationship? Do you want to go on vacation and leave it behind? So? I think that these are questions that people should ask themselves.

00:52:24
Speaker 1: For me, I'm like, I want to have fun at work. I know that's such a weird way to approach it, but I'm like, what I'm doing I need to be having some fun. That's how I'm approaching everything. Now. I'm writing emotion right now. I'm having so much fun writing it because I'm eating these bitches up fork knife, no crumbs, gobble, gobble, honey, miss Thanksgiving dinner. I'm eating them up. And it's so like it, truly. I can't wait to go home tonight. I'm going to be in bed. I will have a sheet mask on and I will be giggling to myself.

00:52:57
Speaker 2: I'm serious, I'm lay waiting and I know that that's you, and I'm going to be cackling in bed.

00:53:05
Speaker 1: Well. Brad will be in the other room, like what is he watching? I'm watching myself, babe, I'm watching myself eat them up.

00:53:12
Speaker 3: Let me ask you a question. When you were in law school, you never did a summer associate ship.

00:53:20
Speaker 1: Oh, I interned for like a law firm, but it wasn't a big law that's a big law associate thing that's like a.

00:53:25
Speaker 3: Whole You didn't do it. No, yeah, no, no interest, nothing I was.

00:53:31
Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was, and so it just never went out for it. I just wasn't really paying attention, okay, and so and so it was happening and people were talking about it and I was like, huh, I wonder what that is anyway? Should we get a hot talk for lunch? Like I just wasn't nothing was really registering.

00:53:50
Speaker 3: So I mean you you weren't interested.

00:53:52
Speaker 1: I wasn't interested. It didn't sound interesting.

00:53:54
Speaker 3: It's like like that like the drugs for me, right, it's not It's like I knew, I don't. I just didn't care. It wasn't do you know what I'm saying, Like it's like, oh, not interested in that particular thing.

00:54:05
Speaker 1: Anyway. Thank you for sending in your question. That was really sweet. Oh and she also wrote that she hooked her mom on this podcast this weekend and we drove around for hours touring law schools and oh my god, now I'm one straight fan, just one. Thank you so much. How fun touring law schools, d DM mae let us know.

00:54:24
Speaker 3: Let's let us know where you get in and what you want to do or someone we're legitimately interested.

00:54:29
Speaker 1: I love that, all right, Thank you so much. This has been tales from the DMS. Thank you for listening to Brief Recess. I'll see you in court or I'll name you in that motion.

00:54:41
Speaker 3: He's petty enough to do it.

00:54:45
Speaker 1: This has been an Exactly Right production recorded at iHeart Studios, posted by me, Michael Foot.

00:54:50
Speaker 3: And me Melissa Malbranch. Our producer is CJ. Ferroni.

00:54:53
Speaker 1: This episode was edited by Nicholas Galucci.

00:54:56
Speaker 3: Our associate producer is Christina Chamberlain and our guest booker is Patrick.

00:55:00
Speaker 1: Our theme song was composed by Tom Brifogel with artwork from Charlotte Delarue Manessa Lilac, with photography by Brad Obono.

00:55:07
Speaker 3: Brief Recess is executive produced by Karen Kilgareff, Georgia hart Stark, and Danielle Kramer.

00:55:12
Speaker 1: You can find me on Instagram at Department of Redundancy Department or on TikTok at Michael Foot.

00:55:17
Speaker 3: And I'm on both Instagram and TikTok as. Melissa Malbranch.

00:55:20
Speaker 1: Got legal questions, reach out at Brief Recess at exactlyrightmedia dot com. Listen to Brief Recess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts, and of course we're a podcasts with video. Search for Brief Recess on YouTube