Introducing: An Unlikely Affair

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hi, Amber, Hilelah, Welcome to an unlikely affair.

00:00:08
Speaker 2: It's fucking air. I can't believe it.

00:00:12
Speaker 3: I know, right, it's been like four or five years, right, yes, since we want to do something, and every time we talk about it, the timing is off.

00:00:21
Speaker 1: And now we're sitting here recording from the same couch, on the same freaking couch.

00:00:28
Speaker 4: I'm sitting on the couch with the ex mistress. Well wow, yeah, sorry, was that too much?

00:00:36
Speaker 2: No? I think it's great.

00:00:37
Speaker 1: I think I am in my era of calling things like they are. I don't need anyone to sugarcoat anything. I don't need anybody to like watch what they say because my feelings may be hurt. It is what it is. Take all of the nuance out of it. I also like life is so nuanced, But after like filming this new show, I'm like, I don't care about the nuances. Cut to the fucking point, black or white. I don't want to know every avenue. This is the true wances out. You are the wife, I was the mistress. Whatever it is, what it is. I feel so liberated.

00:01:15
Speaker 3: But you know what, I fucking love you now. I really fucking love like a time where thank you I didn't. I didn't love you so much, Laala, but now I.

00:01:23
Speaker 2: Can't imagine why. Oh geez, I.

00:01:25
Speaker 3: Don't know here, let me ask my little Oh okay, yeah, we're here. No, I'm really excited about the show, so much to talk about. I just you know, I think for me, I want to keep it real. I want to keep it so honest, and I want women to feel like it's okay to be messy.

00:01:41
Speaker 4: Moms. It's okay to be messy.

00:01:42
Speaker 3: We're not supposed to be perfect. This is not fucking Pinterest. This is not a Pinterest podcast, no at all.

00:01:49
Speaker 1: So we're gonna have not even on Pinterest. I mean, I use it for inspiration, and a lot of people do.

00:01:56
Speaker 3: But this is gonna be messy and funny and sad and sweet. And I can not wait to hear about all of your dating stories and what the hell is going on in that Kent house because well, I feel.

00:02:07
Speaker 1: The same way because you've moved to Montana. You You and I like very different types of men are girls except that one stent in life.

00:02:19
Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, how funny that I said that.

00:02:20
Speaker 1: I'm like, we like really different guys, which the whole reason we know each other is because of one person.

00:02:26
Speaker 4: You know, we should put on the back of this wall like all the men.

00:02:29
Speaker 1: No, that would be bad, that would be so bad, we would never get laid again.

00:02:34
Speaker 4: Na, you would definitely get laid you.

00:02:36
Speaker 3: I mean, have you seen those photos of you on Instagram that you posted of your wonderful donc you know?

00:02:43
Speaker 1: But thinking once I got back to the mainland, I would want to slide into so many dms after I posted that, and then I got back and was just like, so fucking sick.

00:02:51
Speaker 2: You're in Hawaii.

00:02:51
Speaker 3: Why didn't you slide into dms while you were there?

00:02:53
Speaker 1: Because I feel weird sliding into dms when my children are like sleeping next to me or I'm playing with them.

00:03:00
Speaker 2: Is that is that nerd?

00:03:02
Speaker 4: No, that's normal. That makes you a good mom, but a good present mom.

00:03:06
Speaker 1: Like if you were like, no, I'm like all slide into dms when I'm like home and settled.

00:03:13
Speaker 2: And then I got back and.

00:03:14
Speaker 4: Felt like death. So it's timing.

00:03:16
Speaker 1: It's timing as everything. I don't think God wanted me to slide into any dms. No, No, when I had you on untraditionally La La for the first ever podcast episode of my rebrand or relaunch or you know jujing I love a good ji, I.

00:03:33
Speaker 2: Love a good jug.

00:03:35
Speaker 1: People were so excited, Yeah, what's judj ourselves?

00:03:39
Speaker 4: Okay, what happened? People were excited about just the two of us.

00:03:44
Speaker 2: We've never really spoken.

00:03:46
Speaker 1: I mean, I've spoken about you, but the two of us have never been out there like this, having conversations and addressing things. Everyone thinks that they know the story, which I think I think some people do.

00:03:59
Speaker 2: And I just said that I hate nuance, but in this case.

00:04:03
Speaker 1: Doing this podcast, I think it's going to give a lot of people hope and co parenting, or I guess for us, parallel parenting is very difficult. We have the holiday coming up, and even though you may have a set agreement in order, like life doesn't really.

00:04:21
Speaker 4: Work like that.

00:04:22
Speaker 3: No. I think one of the biggest things that about co parenting it teaches you to be flexible and you got to pick and choose your battles. You're like, you know what this is about all I'm not willing to fight because it's going to interrupt my sanity, it's going to interrupt the holidays, and.

00:04:34
Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, yeah, it's a whole thing.

00:04:36
Speaker 3: But I think one of the going back to your point is that I think a lot of people, you know, from what they see on TV and what they know of me, is that they think we're really different. But as I've gotten to know you over the years, I think there's a lot of similarities, and I think it will be nice for people to hear those similarities.

00:04:55
Speaker 1: You know, at the beginning, what did you think, what is super different? Or what have people said that they think we're super different? I mean, I know that I'm very much. Here's the difference though, ambers You are an actress, So while you go out and have an incredible talent, and you know you're going off of a script and then you kind of go into your real life. My line of work is going on a show and like being an elevated version of myself. Right, So we're going to seem very different because you're going out and you're very poised, and I love that about you.

00:05:39
Speaker 2: But when we're behind closed.

00:05:40
Speaker 1: Doors, the two of us can get down and taking about some pretty insane things.

00:05:46
Speaker 3: Yeah and yeah, a lot of insane things. But I think a lot of people I've done a lot of work, I've done a lot of healing. I'm like arrived at a new place in my life where I think what I've been kind of hiding is this fire.

00:05:59
Speaker 4: That I have in me that.

00:06:02
Speaker 3: A lot of people probably wouldn't expect. And I think that fire, like probably has stemmed from having to really fucking fight for myself and fight for my children and fight for the truth and what's right at the same time, not like land on my ass and like.

00:06:17
Speaker 4: Look like a fool.

00:06:18
Speaker 3: But I think that's kind of where you and I are similar. Like I see that like outward expression of this badass that you are and you just fucking say it how it is, and I'm like, I have that in me, but I don't know how to express it right, like because again, like you give me a script and I'm I'm good. I could play those like you know, all these characters that I've played over the years on television or in film have been these really strong, badass women, but in life, I'm a little It's like I'm a little more reserved or like that little Mormon girl or those voices come out going like you have to be buttoned up and you have to but that's not the truth. Like I think that's one of the beautiful things about aging as women, you just give less fucks.

00:07:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that part.

00:07:08
Speaker 1: But also can I tell you and I can't wait to deep dive into so many different conversations on this podcast. But as I, as I get older, I'm realizing that and I don't even want to call it baggage because I don't look at it that way. But depending on who you meet when you're trying to find a partner you I now have a life where it's like, this is what comes comes with me.

00:07:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, take it or leave it, right, And you know what I tell people.

00:07:43
Speaker 4: I tell people listen, I'm a.

00:07:44
Speaker 2: Package deal one hundred percent.

00:07:46
Speaker 3: I don't need you to pay for my kids. But just so you know, my kids are arriving at the doorstep with.

00:07:52
Speaker 2: Me one hundred percent.

00:07:54
Speaker 3: Actually, and a few dogs maybe and a few dogs, few for babies.

00:08:00
Speaker 2: But you know I have this.

00:08:02
Speaker 1: I have a very specific I won't date older than forty, give or take a couple of years. And twenty five so ten years younger. And I've been leaning more towards the younger side. I feel like many different ages Mentally, I feel like I am twenty one years old.

00:08:24
Speaker 2: I'm like, we have so much in common. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, young blood.

00:08:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, But then I'm like, no, I am thirty five, I am self sufficient, I have two babies. I don't need shit from you. And then physically I feel like I'm one hundred.

00:08:37
Speaker 3: You wear a lot of different hats, and I think a lot of women feel that way, like a lot of women. Yeah, speaking of hats, the holidays are coming up, and do you get overwhelmed with the amount of like people that either show up at your house or like navigating the co parenting of I mean, we share the same baby, daddy, but like the competition of Christmas because it's it's it's Disneyland over there.

00:09:04
Speaker 4: I mean it's but so yeah, that's what I wanted to ask you, you know, because I'm struggling with this.

00:09:09
Speaker 2: Are you yeah?

00:09:11
Speaker 4: Big time? Big time lately?

00:09:14
Speaker 1: Okay, well, well again, you and I have very we have different ages, and it is like Disneyland over there, and.

00:09:28
Speaker 2: I know that, and if I was a kid, I would want to live over there too.

00:09:32
Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh, why we're going to Disneyland because it's fucking Tuesday.

00:09:36
Speaker 2: Right.

00:09:37
Speaker 1: No, when I got that, trust me, Like the gifts, the gifts are amazing when you're a child. But what I have what I have noticed, is that my job is to not provide Ocean with a bunch of shit. My job with Ocean is to provide her with my time, to provide her with discipline and structure and consistency, and that is where she thrives.

00:10:06
Speaker 3: That's the greatest gift you can give your children.

00:10:08
Speaker 1: When she goes to his house and comes back and wants to talk about all of the things that she got and the you know, ten pound bag of candy that she got, I tell her how amazing that is. And then when we go to the store and she's throwing things in the cart, it is a conversation of we're not getting it because of this reason. And I find that empowering, because there's gonna be a day where my child is older and raising kids and she's not.

00:10:36
Speaker 2: There's gonna be a day where she doesn't care about the shit. She doesn't want a ten pound bag of candy. And let's be honest.

00:10:44
Speaker 1: This is the other thing that I tell myself in my head. When she wants to talk about everything that her dad gets here, I'm like, her dad's a fucking renter.

00:10:52
Speaker 2: Her mom's an owner bitch.

00:10:56
Speaker 4: Whoa mic drop, Mike drop.

00:11:00
Speaker 2: Oh there's anything wrong with that?

00:11:01
Speaker 1: Let me be very clear. Yeah, let me be clear again. Nothing wrong with renting. Nothing, there's nothing wrong with renting. It's the fact that you want to buy all this stuff for these kids.

00:11:13
Speaker 2: But I have my.

00:11:14
Speaker 1: Business manager saying I can't get a hold of home boy. He owes you X amount of thousands of dollars intuition and child support.

00:11:23
Speaker 3: You just say, you provide structure, and I really commend you for that, and it's like the greatest I didn't I wasn't able to give my kids that because I was literally in chaos.

00:11:33
Speaker 4: I was survived. I was literally trying not to kill myself at that time.

00:11:37
Speaker 2: Not to go dark.

00:11:37
Speaker 3: But I'm just like, you provide structure, and your kids are still young, so I'm like sitting.

00:11:42
Speaker 4: Across from the couchpoint like.

00:11:45
Speaker 3: You could just fucking keep doing it.

00:11:47
Speaker 4: Like what you're doing is like the right move.

00:11:52
Speaker 2: But then, like you said, as they get older, it's it's much hard.

00:11:55
Speaker 4: Let me tell you something.

00:11:56
Speaker 3: Riley came home with a fucking pair of Gucci sunglasses from New York.

00:12:02
Speaker 2: Why did she go to New York?

00:12:03
Speaker 3: She went from Ohio where they were filming, to New York and she came back and I said, Okay, you know what, that's great, Riley. They look actually really good on you. I'm really happy for you. Yeah, And I said it in a very genuine way, and then she was off bouncing around.

00:12:18
Speaker 4: You know, but that stuff that hurts my ego, right, that's not like that because.

00:12:25
Speaker 2: You can't go buy her Gucci sunglasses.

00:12:28
Speaker 4: I don't want to buy her Gucci sunglasses.

00:12:30
Speaker 3: It's just that I know what he's doing and it breaks my heart for her in London. And it also is like I can't compete with that, and nor do I want to. Like I just I've arrived like materialistic things like I walk around with now a TJ Max bag, and I fucking love this bag. I love it more than any other bag I've ever owned. OK, maybe that's not true, but like close, yeah.

00:12:59
Speaker 1: Can I tell tell you there. I used to think that all of that shit was so cool. And I'll be honest. I I for both of my girls on their first birthdays. I got them designer bags because I wanted to be the first person to give them their first designer bag.

00:13:14
Speaker 2: Whatever. Sosa too, Sosa too, Sosa.

00:13:17
Speaker 1: That might be a good lunch, but a little like Gucci tiny little bag. Right, it's cute, it's whatever. I did it for Sosa, because I did it for Oh.

00:13:29
Speaker 4: That's a whole nother problem had. Oh my got.

00:13:31
Speaker 1: But let me tell you, as as someone who has had and you have too, had a lot of shit thrown at them that I have not paid for, and then getting to a place where I can pay for that stuff, and then going to a place where all you want is safety, security, and even if your peace means living in a fucking box, you don't care.

00:13:50
Speaker 2: I am met in to Chanel uh in.

00:13:53
Speaker 1: Hawaii and I was like, I'm ready to fucking blow some money. I walked in and I was like, I don't care about any of this fucking shit. No.

00:14:02
Speaker 3: Well, okay, first of all, Chanel like, you could buy a really nice boy bag for thirty five hundred, forty five hundred.

00:14:08
Speaker 4: Now they're like eight thousands.

00:14:10
Speaker 1: Me the one I was looking at was like almost, I want to say, eight thousand dollars.

00:14:15
Speaker 2: You know what this means.

00:14:16
Speaker 4: We're maturing.

00:14:17
Speaker 1: But let me tell you, I was like, this will not bring me an ounce of fucking happiness, no at all, because my good ball sack mite. Oh but give me all the twenty five year old's dick in the world. I want a young, hot, tight big dick tight balls.

00:14:38
Speaker 2: Wow, can we put this on your dating profile?

00:14:49
Speaker 1: Twenty five is fine? Right, I'm thirty five? Yeah, like a weird no.

00:14:53
Speaker 4: No, you're having fun just I deserve it.

00:14:57
Speaker 3: I didn't say to you.

00:14:59
Speaker 2: Who are you my mom? Okay, I'm not.

00:15:04
Speaker 1: I'm rejecting my freaking mother and my brother. They're like grossed out by me right now, and I'm like, what the fuck?

00:15:11
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, let me let me.

00:15:14
Speaker 1: I want to go on them, let them let me yet we please, And this is exactly the kind of ship we're talking about on this podcast.

00:15:22
Speaker 2: I love it all right.

00:15:23
Speaker 1: There was just like a little taste, just the tip of an unlikely affair.

00:15:28
Speaker 2: Oh.

00:15:29
Speaker 4: I love a good tip.

00:15:30
Speaker 1: I just so does he. That's what I've heard. At least, we're going to catch all the men.

00:15:38
Speaker 2: The tip is where it's at, The tip is where it's at. Anywhere, We're going to catch you.

00:15:42
Speaker 1: January eighth, for a full episode, Love y'all, Thank you to the crazy.

00:15:46
Speaker 2: Yes