Jaws 3-D (1983): What the Heck Happened?

<v Speaker 1>Just when you thought it was safe to go back
<v Speaker 1>in the water. Jason and d of the Shirly Can't
<v Speaker 1>Be Serious podcast, along with Jeff of the Film By Podcast,
<v Speaker 1>are tackling Jaws three D from nineteen eighty three. Jeff,
<v Speaker 1>how you doing, man, Welcome back?
<v Speaker 2>I am doing great, feeling great. Ready to talk Jaws
<v Speaker 2>three D?
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, how you do.
<v Speaker 3>I'm so mad at you, guys. I'm so mad. Hey,
<v Speaker 3>I don't like watching terrible movies, and you guys made
<v Speaker 3>me watch this terrible movie.
<v Speaker 1>You walked out of the theater on Jaws three D in
<v Speaker 1>nineteen eighty three and have not revisited it until yesterday.
<v Speaker 3>I have a couple of days ago, a couple days ago.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, let's talk about it.
<v Speaker 3>Oh gosh, first.
<v Speaker 1>Thing we need to talk about out of the gate.
<v Speaker 1>You and I covered Jaws in season one. Compared that
<v Speaker 1>to Jurassic Park, all time classic movie, and Jaws is
<v Speaker 1>one of the great movies of the seventies.
<v Speaker 3>You might call Jaws three D a combination of the
<v Speaker 3>two story ideas of Jaws and Jurassic Park.
<v Speaker 1>It's true. It's true. That is very true. Before we
<v Speaker 1>go down this road, we should mention we are comparing
<v Speaker 1>Jaws three D from nineteen eighty three against Beverly Hills
<v Speaker 1>Cop three released in nineteen ninety four, two of the
<v Speaker 1>worst number threes in a successful franchise. Very true, We're
<v Speaker 1>gonna ask that question. We're we're gonna address that head on.
<v Speaker 3>But to continue your storyline, we've covered Jaws. Yep. You
<v Speaker 3>better need a pig up coach a film buy covered
<v Speaker 3>Jaws two.
<v Speaker 4>But I'm telling you, and I'm telling everybody at this table,
<v Speaker 4>that's a shock.
<v Speaker 1>And I know what a shock looks like because I've
<v Speaker 1>seen one up close. And you better do something about
<v Speaker 1>this one because I don't tend to go through that
<v Speaker 1>hell a game.
<v Speaker 3>Yep.
<v Speaker 2>Yes, last season on our limited series, A Film at
<v Speaker 2>forty five, where we celebrate the forty fifth anniversary of
<v Speaker 2>movies Jaws two.
<v Speaker 3>Now that one Roy Scheider did as a way to
<v Speaker 3>get out of a two movie clause in a contract
<v Speaker 3>that he had. Is that right?
<v Speaker 1>That is correct? Yeah? He famously said he would never
<v Speaker 1>return to the Jaws franchise after working on that one.
<v Speaker 3>Messistophiles himself could not force me to do another Jaws movie.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know what else he did? He went as
<v Speaker 1>far as signing on to do Blue Thunder intentionally so
<v Speaker 1>that he would be busy, so that they couldn't twist
<v Speaker 1>his arm and make him come back for it.
<v Speaker 3>Have you guys seen Blue Thunder? Yes? Yes, And did
<v Speaker 3>he make the right choice.
<v Speaker 1>Yes, absolutely he did. But continuing on, Jeff, you guys
<v Speaker 1>covered Jaws two what a couple of seasons ago? Maybe
<v Speaker 1>last Yeah, last season? We did last season. And then
<v Speaker 1>Dee and I along with you and Brad, we covered
<v Speaker 1>Jaws of the Revenge Wow versus Superman four a couple
<v Speaker 1>of seasons ago, and we had a lot of fun
<v Speaker 1>doing that. We've had a blast doing that. Yeah, that
<v Speaker 1>and that turned out to be really good episod that.
<v Speaker 1>I think we've done Jaws one, just two Jos four.
<v Speaker 1>We cannot not do Josh three. Could have, but we're
<v Speaker 1>not going to. We are tackling on where's the completionist
<v Speaker 1>in ud let's do this.
<v Speaker 3>So when we went to Jazz two, we had a
<v Speaker 3>different director than Jos one. Spielberg did not come back
<v Speaker 3>despite the fact that this is the Jaws made him,
<v Speaker 3>I mean it made him right, not the sugar Land Express.
<v Speaker 3>It made him and obviously he had to continue it on.
<v Speaker 3>He did Close Encounters and all of that. But then
<v Speaker 3>they brought in another director for Jos two who got fired.
<v Speaker 2>I believe the original one got fired, and then Chaneault
<v Speaker 2>Swark took over.
<v Speaker 3>Now, when that happened, they had kind of discussed having
<v Speaker 3>Verna Fields and Joe Alvis take over as directors, as
<v Speaker 3>co directors, right, that's right, Yeah, that is correct, and
<v Speaker 3>they said, no, we're not going to do that. We're
<v Speaker 3>going to go with somebody who has actually directed a
<v Speaker 3>movie before. And then just three came along and they said, hey,
<v Speaker 3>we've got Joe Dante who's willing to direct. And they
<v Speaker 3>said no, no, no, no, let's go with the guy who's
<v Speaker 3>never directed a movie before. Oh which guy is that?
<v Speaker 3>The guy who was the set designer for the original Joss,
<v Speaker 3>the one where the shark didn't work. Yeah, we're going
<v Speaker 3>to have him come back on and we're going to
<v Speaker 3>have him direct a movie that's the third and a
<v Speaker 3>major franchise.
<v Speaker 1>Our shark couldn't have killed over him.
<v Speaker 3>Its mother did, Damn sharks.
<v Speaker 1>We talked about how the entire movie of Jaws one,
<v Speaker 1>like the most common thing they would hear every morning
<v Speaker 1>was the shark is not working. The Shark is not working,
<v Speaker 1>and Joe Alves was the guy in charge of the Shark.
<v Speaker 2>We don't get that iconic line without Joe Alvis, so
<v Speaker 2>we owe him.
<v Speaker 1>That much, right, That's right. Okay, So let's talk about
<v Speaker 1>what was originally on the slate to be Jaws three.
<v Speaker 3>This is an amazing story right here.
<v Speaker 1>It might be the movie I most want to see
<v Speaker 1>from the eighties that we didn't get. That's cup, Jeff,
<v Speaker 1>I love that cut. You like that. I do. Yes,
<v Speaker 1>shout out. Shout out to your guys. Is awesome Patreon
<v Speaker 1>because I'm not just a listener. I'm a subscriber, you know,
<v Speaker 1>and I get these cool little bonus items. Okay. So
<v Speaker 1>the original idea for the follow up to Jaws two
<v Speaker 1>was to make a spoof movie i e. Airplane called
<v Speaker 1>Jaws three People.
<v Speaker 3>Zero Yeah, National lampoon style.
<v Speaker 1>Yes yeah. And they asked Joe Dante, who had directed
<v Speaker 1>the nineteen seventy eight Piranha movie as a spoof of Jaws,
<v Speaker 1>to be the director. He's like, yeah, let's do this.
<v Speaker 3>They had Mattie Simmons, who was the producer on Vacation Movies,
<v Speaker 3>to Animal House and House all the National Lampoon stuff
<v Speaker 3>that he was going to come on as producer. Freaking
<v Speaker 3>John Hughes was brought on to help write the script.
<v Speaker 1>Could you imagine what this could have been?
<v Speaker 3>And they brought Peter Benchley back in just to have
<v Speaker 3>him get eaten by a shark in his pool as
<v Speaker 3>the opening scene.
<v Speaker 1>That sounds like a movie that would be a lot
<v Speaker 1>of fun in one I would want to watch.
<v Speaker 3>And then Son of a Bee, stupid Steven Spielberg comes
<v Speaker 3>in and says, if you guys do this, I will
<v Speaker 3>walk away from Universal Pictures.
<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure I believe that story. Okay, I mean
<v Speaker 1>he was okay with Piranha.
<v Speaker 3>Right because it wasn't a Universal Pictures.
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean he was okay with them copying Jaws
<v Speaker 1>to do something else. I don't know. I did read that.
<v Speaker 1>Did you read the script?
<v Speaker 3>I did not get a chance to read this.
<v Speaker 1>Did you read the script? I did not see it,
<v Speaker 1>So I read a few pages that I could. The
<v Speaker 1>opening scene, of course, is Peter Benchley getting eaten by
<v Speaker 1>the shark in his swimming pool, which is cool. I
<v Speaker 1>also read that there were aliens dressed as sharks chasing
<v Speaker 1>people in this movie, and I get a little weird. Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>that does sound a look weird. And I did read
<v Speaker 1>that this movie would have featured a naked Mary Kathleen
<v Speaker 1>Collins the entire movie.
<v Speaker 3>Mary Kathleen called me Mary Kathleen. I don't know who
<v Speaker 3>that is.
<v Speaker 1>Well, you might know her stage name as Bo Derek.
<v Speaker 3>Oh, yes, okay, I'm down with that.
<v Speaker 1>I was about to say, why do I care? And
<v Speaker 1>now I care a lot.
<v Speaker 3>The same year that Tarzan a Man came.
<v Speaker 1>Out, Tarzan a Man is eighty one?
<v Speaker 3>Okay, so this is peak. This is peak peak Boeric.
<v Speaker 3>Not that she's ever not been peak on he is
<v Speaker 3>he the camera's origin Tom? I mean she did.
<v Speaker 1>But I did read that Steven Spielberg was not happy
<v Speaker 1>with it and threatened Universal, Hey guys, we're not doing this.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 1>I also read Joe Dante that the producers his next
<v Speaker 1>door neighbors, Dick Xanak and David Brown.
<v Speaker 3>The guys who had produced the original draws.
<v Speaker 1>Yes, he thinks that they would have clashed heads with
<v Speaker 1>Matti Simmons eventually who wanted he wanted Matty Simmons wanted
<v Speaker 1>to do a raunchy animal house style comedy, and they
<v Speaker 1>wanted to be more PG area, So he didn't think.
<v Speaker 3>It was going to work anyway in the comedy. They
<v Speaker 3>were going to bring back Dreyfus. By the way, Richard
<v Speaker 3>Dreyfus was going to be in it with bo Derek.
<v Speaker 3>How awesome would that?
<v Speaker 1>That would have been amazing, That would have been a hit.
<v Speaker 1>This was no boating accident. I got something that might
<v Speaker 1>might blow your mind. Okay, let's have it. There's a
<v Speaker 1>little bit more to the story here, Okay. Which got
<v Speaker 1>so when the studio balked at the idea of doing
<v Speaker 1>the comedy, you know, basically like lampooning themselves. This is
<v Speaker 1>where Richard Matheson teams up with Gwenden True Blood and
<v Speaker 1>we get the alternate Jaws three script, which is all
<v Speaker 1>about the shark swimming into a saltwater river and gets
<v Speaker 1>trapped in a man made lake. Apparently they offered this
<v Speaker 1>to Spielberg. He turns down Jaws two because he's chasing
<v Speaker 1>aliens with Richard Dreyfuss in close encounters this time. He
<v Speaker 1>just he has no excuse, and he just said flat
<v Speaker 1>out says no. I got a quote here from him.
<v Speaker 1>He says, I would have absolutely jumped at the chance
<v Speaker 1>to own the sequel because I knew that when I
<v Speaker 1>was walking away from the sequel, I was walking away
<v Speaker 1>from a huge piece of my life that I had
<v Speaker 1>helped to create.
<v Speaker 2>But it wasn't a hard decision to walk away from it.
<v Speaker 2>I just could not imagine going back out on the
<v Speaker 2>ocean and sitting in a boat for nine months.
<v Speaker 3>It's a good quote.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so he passes on it. The studio looks at
<v Speaker 2>Matheson says, hey, let's skip the man made lake.
<v Speaker 1>How about SeaWorld. Let we like the we like the
<v Speaker 1>shark being trapped, but let's let's take it the sea World.
<v Speaker 2>And he's okay. And they said, well can we throw
<v Speaker 2>the Brody Children in there? And he's like what, Yeah, yeah,
<v Speaker 2>we got to have the Brody Children?
<v Speaker 1>Okay.
<v Speaker 2>And then well, hey, can we have the electrocuted shark
<v Speaker 2>from Jalls two still out there? He says, no, okay,
<v Speaker 2>I'm out. Yeah. At this point, yeah, at that point
<v Speaker 2>he had walked away. As you guys both already know this.
<v Speaker 2>This goes through plenty of rewrites, but yeah, they kept
<v Speaker 2>the SeaWorld, They kept the Brody Children in eighty six
<v Speaker 2>to the electricated.
<v Speaker 3>Shark, Well they had I mean the production company on
<v Speaker 3>this was not actually Universal. Universal was kind of calling
<v Speaker 3>some shots, but it had been purchased by Alan Landsberg Productions.
<v Speaker 3>And does Alan Lansburg ring a bell for you guys, No, no, no, okay,
<v Speaker 3>that's that's understandable. I mean, the man was involved in
<v Speaker 3>producing over fifty Movies of the Week, Movies the Week,
<v Speaker 3>I love those things for one of the first reality
<v Speaker 3>TV shows. Do you guys remember That's incredible in the early.
<v Speaker 1>Eighties, I love, I love that's incredible.
<v Speaker 3>So that's the guy that took over the Jaws Frank Well.
<v Speaker 1>Where's Fran targeted? And Kathley Crosby.
<v Speaker 3>If we'd have had Fran Tartan Kathley Crosby in the
<v Speaker 3>parts of Mike Brody and whatever the best doctor k
<v Speaker 3>oh my gosh, it's been a winner. Fantastic.
<v Speaker 1>Hey. You know, we talked about why they did this initially.
<v Speaker 1>The reason why they did even Jaws the Revenge is
<v Speaker 1>because the TV airings of Jaws and Jaws two did
<v Speaker 1>so well. They're like, let's make more, you know, let's
<v Speaker 1>make some more of these because they are doing great,
<v Speaker 1>people love them.
<v Speaker 3>As it turns out, they were actually right. This was
<v Speaker 3>the fifteenth highest grossing movie of nineteen eighty three, a
<v Speaker 3>year that had a lot of really dad gum good movies. Yeah, fifteenth.
<v Speaker 3>It made eighty seven million dollars.
<v Speaker 1>That's pretty good. It's pretty good.
<v Speaker 3>They were right this steaming pile of.
<v Speaker 1>Wait a minute, this is not a steaming pile just yet.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah it is.
<v Speaker 1>Hey, did they get your money in nineteen eighty three?
<v Speaker 3>Well, not my money, but my dad's money.
<v Speaker 1>He got my money.
<v Speaker 3>He may. I don't know if he asked for it
<v Speaker 3>on the way out or not. I think he was
<v Speaker 3>probably so pissed he just did get in the car
<v Speaker 3>and go home. I mean, I literally I can remember
<v Speaker 3>this happening. I remember where we sat. I remember that
<v Speaker 3>we were midway, but we didn't go to the middle.
<v Speaker 3>Like we're midway down as far as the roads go,
<v Speaker 3>but we didn't go to the middle of the seat.
<v Speaker 3>My dad has my dad six four long legs. Those days,
<v Speaker 3>you didn't have nice, comfy theater seats. You had crappy
<v Speaker 3>folding to the theater seats, right right, So we sat
<v Speaker 3>in the aisle. I'm second seat over, he's in the aisle,
<v Speaker 3>and all of a sudden, you know, I'm just watching
<v Speaker 3>because at seven years years old, any movie is good, right, right,
<v Speaker 3>any movie is good. I mean people are talking and occasionally,
<v Speaker 3>you know, and I've got three D glasses on this
<v Speaker 3>the first three D movie I've ever seen in my life,
<v Speaker 3>and like, I'm like, oh, this is not as cool
<v Speaker 3>as I thought it would be, but it's still interesting, right,
<v Speaker 3>you know, these things are floating and it looks like
<v Speaker 3>they're in a different plane of yeah, okay, great. And
<v Speaker 3>then all of a sudden it's come on and I'm on.
<v Speaker 3>What He's like, come on real eving. I'm like, well, movies,
<v Speaker 3>He's like, I'm not watching the rest of this. In
<v Speaker 3>my head, I'm just thinking I didn't know this was allowed.
<v Speaker 3>I didn't know you were permitted to just get up
<v Speaker 3>and when the movie wasn't over yet. And so from
<v Speaker 3>that point on, I have always wondered, Hey, how did
<v Speaker 3>this movie turn out? Was it any good? Was it
<v Speaker 3>wrong for my dad to have taken me taken me
<v Speaker 3>out of this? And I've come to the answer answer
<v Speaker 3>is it was not wrong. He saved me, and you
<v Speaker 3>sons made me drink the sour milk again.
<v Speaker 1>Oh what are you talking about? Let me paint an
<v Speaker 1>alternate picture for you. Okay, Imagine August of nineteen eighty three.
<v Speaker 1>A young Jason is ten years old, got the three
<v Speaker 1>D glasses on, ready to see some shark munch on
<v Speaker 1>some people. And it's right before school starts, and it's
<v Speaker 1>one of those sort of evening matinees. I'm with Patreon,
<v Speaker 1>remember Chris, Alexander, his dad, his brother. We're all enjoying
<v Speaker 1>a summer movie. We gotta get some ice cream afterwards.
<v Speaker 1>It's a great day in the summer of nineteen eighty
<v Speaker 1>three for young me. I loved it. I had a blast.
<v Speaker 1>Now is it great?
<v Speaker 3>No?
<v Speaker 1>Is it fun? Yes? I'm going with fun. Jeff, where
<v Speaker 1>are you? I'll tell you. I remember my first time
<v Speaker 1>watching this. It was at my aunt's house.
<v Speaker 2>She was babysitting me, and I remember maybe twenty minutes
<v Speaker 2>thirty minutes into it, I was like, this sucks. And
<v Speaker 2>I spent the rest of that night playing with my
<v Speaker 2>superpowers figures. Had a great time. But just not with
<v Speaker 2>this movie now watching it as an adult, you know,
<v Speaker 2>like the last time we talked Sharks, I told you, guys,
<v Speaker 2>this one's a dumpster fire. Still is, but the fire's
<v Speaker 2>just not raging my last rewatch, I kind of have
<v Speaker 2>come come around. I'm a little softer on it now,
<v Speaker 2>and I think that has to do with Halloween three
<v Speaker 2>season of the Witch.
<v Speaker 1>I know that's a curve ball.
<v Speaker 2>But when Halloween three Season the Witch comes out, it
<v Speaker 2>doesn't have Michael Myers, it's not a great movie, and
<v Speaker 2>everyone trashes it. Right twenty thirty years later, it's a
<v Speaker 2>cult classic and we appreciate it.
<v Speaker 1>For being the non canon Halloween film. Jaws three is
<v Speaker 1>the non canon Jaws film. When Jaws Revenge came out,
<v Speaker 1>their press release said, this is the true number three.
<v Speaker 1>So looking back, when you look at this as more
<v Speaker 1>of a what if, because it's not the same birdie children,
<v Speaker 1>it's not the same setting, I can kind of appreciate
<v Speaker 1>it more as just a fun shark attack movie and
<v Speaker 1>not necessarily a Jaws film. This is the never say
<v Speaker 1>never again of Jaws. Good point.
<v Speaker 2>It absolutely is Never say Never much better than Jaws
<v Speaker 2>three D. But you know, I've got a couple of
<v Speaker 2>things I can talk. I can say there's some good
<v Speaker 2>things about this film, but I can say plenty that
<v Speaker 2>isn't good about this film.
<v Speaker 1>So okay, before we get into what works and what doesn't.
<v Speaker 1>I want to mention that nineteen eighty three was like
<v Speaker 1>the year of the three. Think about it. We had
<v Speaker 1>Jaws three, we had Superman three, we had Star Wars three,
<v Speaker 1>otherwise known as Return of the Jedi. We had Amityville three,
<v Speaker 1>and we had Halloween three. Right, that was nineteen eighty three,
<v Speaker 1>was it not?
<v Speaker 2>I'm not sure about that one, but I can't tell you.
<v Speaker 2>Friday the thirteenth three, I think I think that one
<v Speaker 2>might be.
<v Speaker 1>I look, that was eighty two? Was it eighty two?
<v Speaker 3>Okay?
<v Speaker 1>But still right in that area, we have the resurgence
<v Speaker 1>of the three D movie. Oh yeah, it's in full effect.
<v Speaker 1>So I was dazzled as a ten year old with
<v Speaker 1>my three D glasses on, with the red and the blue,
<v Speaker 1>you know, the old school, which is part of the
<v Speaker 1>reason why when anytime it was on HBO after this,
<v Speaker 1>it looked terrible. The picture quality was awful, the two
<v Speaker 1>D rendering on this film, and granted, usually a three
<v Speaker 1>D film on regular television does it look it's not
<v Speaker 1>gonna look great, but this one is spectacularly bad. Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>all right? Were ready to talk about what works and
<v Speaker 1>what doesn't? Sure, I would love to know what d
<v Speaker 1>thinks works in this movie. Honestly, all white shirts are killers.
<v Speaker 1>I know them for got six, my father, my brother, myself.
<v Speaker 3>They're murderers. I think I've got three things, Okay. Number one,
<v Speaker 3>I really enjoyed the Ocean, Pacific and Panama Jack T
<v Speaker 3>shirts that people were wearing in the park. Yes, thought
<v Speaker 3>that was great.
<v Speaker 1>That is great.
<v Speaker 3>I want those shirts back. I'm like, man, can I
<v Speaker 3>just find I'm gonna go back. I spent six dollars
<v Speaker 3>and ninety nine cents to buy the Blu ray on
<v Speaker 3>this thing, and if I if I have to find
<v Speaker 3>a value in it, it's gonna be that. I'm gonna
<v Speaker 3>go back to take a screenshot of those things and
<v Speaker 3>see if I can't find it on eBay somewhere.
<v Speaker 1>Now, so that if you get an op T shirt
<v Speaker 1>out of this deal, you're gonna call it a win.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's the only win.
<v Speaker 1>I want an op T shirt, all right. I'll try
<v Speaker 1>to do O P T shirts all around, and if
<v Speaker 1>we could, we could certain style Jack gonna.
<v Speaker 3>Be vintaged nineteen eighty three op T shirt new like
<v Speaker 3>no cool with the surf stuff. Yes, no, that's number one.
<v Speaker 3>Number two, they didn't show the shark right off the
<v Speaker 3>bat like they did and Jaws the Refine. Yeah, is
<v Speaker 3>the best story idea of this otherwise horrible mash of
<v Speaker 3>stuff is they said, let's try to hide the shark
<v Speaker 3>like we did in part one because it didn't work,
<v Speaker 3>and then every thing lea Thompson and a bikini. That's all.
<v Speaker 3>That's all I've got. I've got nothing positive to say
<v Speaker 3>about this movie.
<v Speaker 1>Well, let's expound on that just a little bit. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>because the shark it's hidden, and actually you get a
<v Speaker 1>switch through kind of in the middle. You get a
<v Speaker 1>plot twist if you will. The mother is inside the park.
<v Speaker 3>Overman was killed inside the park, the baby was caught
<v Speaker 3>inside the park.
<v Speaker 1>Its mother is inside the park. Yes, but they also
<v Speaker 1>do almost all of their diving at night, which I
<v Speaker 1>think adds tension and scared the crap out of me
<v Speaker 1>as a ten year old kid. Everything they do diving
<v Speaker 1>wise happens in the middle of the night for some reason.
<v Speaker 1>And the shark stayed in the water, unlike Jaws of Revenge,
<v Speaker 1>which we complained about during the Jazz Revenge thing, right.
<v Speaker 3>And it didn't make any noises, it did not roar.
<v Speaker 1>It did have one kind of raw it growls, it growled.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, I might I might have been nodding off
<v Speaker 3>of that one.
<v Speaker 1>And then you do have the shark pov right, so
<v Speaker 1>you're looking up at the water skiers, which I think
<v Speaker 1>that's always good. Yeah, I love that absolutely. Wait what
<v Speaker 1>do you got for us? As far as what worked?
<v Speaker 1>I got a couple of things that works for me.
<v Speaker 2>The concept of the sea world being attacked by a
<v Speaker 2>baby and mother shark.
<v Speaker 1>I think it's fantastic. It was time to get out
<v Speaker 1>of Amity. If John mcclan's going to fight terrorists for
<v Speaker 1>a third time, get him out of the airport, get
<v Speaker 1>him in a new setting.
<v Speaker 2>Jaws does this, and I think it works. Moving it
<v Speaker 2>to Orlando was it was a good move. The reveal
<v Speaker 2>of Shelby's corpse I think was awesome, probably the more
<v Speaker 2>probably the gooriest part of the whole movie that you know,
<v Speaker 2>And it's a great jump scare, kind of a call
<v Speaker 2>back to Ben Gardner.
<v Speaker 3>Are you talking about are you talking about where the
<v Speaker 3>corpse floats up, floats up in the water. Are you
<v Speaker 3>talking about where they pull the pull the sheet back
<v Speaker 3>and he looks at the face, which one.
<v Speaker 2>Of those I'm going I'm going underwater Kingdom when he
<v Speaker 2>just kind of floats into that little girl's perspective and
<v Speaker 2>she freaks out and.
<v Speaker 3>Somebody smashes her face against the window.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah him, absolutely, absolutely.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and disagree with you on
<v Speaker 3>I thought that was terrible what it was like in
<v Speaker 3>the original. You've you've got a completely dark black hole
<v Speaker 3>and then just you know, it just reveals itself. Where
<v Speaker 3>is this when you're looking at a bright, sunny, blue
<v Speaker 3>tropical fish and this guy floats up? Uh?
<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm not I'm not saying it's it's better. I'm
<v Speaker 2>just saying it's it's a throwback.
<v Speaker 1>It's it's a kind of a callback to Ben Gardner,
<v Speaker 1>Like I could see what they're doing with that. I'm
<v Speaker 1>not saying it's better.
<v Speaker 3>I'm just saying, listen, appreciate whenever that guy gets attacked
<v Speaker 3>in the first place and the goggles float down and
<v Speaker 3>land on on the coral, that's a throwback to Lawrence
<v Speaker 3>of Arabia. But that doesn't make it good.
<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, Well, let me let me try a
<v Speaker 1>couple other things I thought work for the movie.
<v Speaker 2>Keep going, Jeff, I'll hold him off. Lewis Gassa Junior
<v Speaker 2>as Calvin Burchard.
<v Speaker 1>Come on, he is.
<v Speaker 2>He is hot off his Academy award win for an
<v Speaker 2>officer and a gentleman. He's kind of our Mayor Vaughan substitute.
<v Speaker 2>He's just having a good time. I love Louis Gossa Junior.
<v Speaker 2>I know, I know we recently sadly we lost.
<v Speaker 1>Him recently here, but just the other day.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, anytime I get a chance to talk Louis Goussa Junior.
<v Speaker 2>And I know we've talked about him several times on
<v Speaker 2>a film buy, I was just happy to talk jolls
<v Speaker 2>three of you guys because I was like, here's another
<v Speaker 2>option to talk lou gossip.
<v Speaker 1>I thought he was great.
<v Speaker 3>I saw something that had a drinking game rules for
<v Speaker 3>this movie, and one of the take a drink moments
<v Speaker 3>was every time that Louis goss said yeah yeah, and
<v Speaker 3>then we haven't dinner. Yeah yeah.
<v Speaker 1>I I called Jeff today and I'm like, Who's dialect
<v Speaker 1>was better Lewis Gossid Jr. And Jazz three or Jake
<v Speaker 1>and Jos four. Come on you overgrown gold Bis, come
<v Speaker 1>uncle jig oh Lewis Gosa Oh, it's GOSSIPR.
<v Speaker 2>I got one more thing that I thought worked pretty
<v Speaker 2>well for this film, okay, which got Fitzroy's death.
<v Speaker 1>This is a chance.
<v Speaker 2>We've seen the shark crunch into into somebody time and
<v Speaker 2>time again for the first couple of movies, and when
<v Speaker 2>we go inside, we get that pov inside the shark's
<v Speaker 2>mouth and we're watching him get crushed and crunched, and
<v Speaker 2>he's gurgling and there's blood.
<v Speaker 1>I really liked that. I thought that was a That
<v Speaker 1>was a cool, cool shot that the director gave.
<v Speaker 3>Us on this one we hadn't seen before. I have forgot.
<v Speaker 3>I had forgotten that that actually was. That was decently done.
<v Speaker 3>I agree with you.
<v Speaker 1>Can I say one more thing about uh Lucassa Jr. Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>I think he's a shrewd businessman in nineteen eighty.
<v Speaker 3>Three, Why don't we blow it? Listen, listen, neft it's
<v Speaker 3>two and a half million dollars turn bine.
<v Speaker 1>That's not gonna go up and smoke because of some
<v Speaker 1>some some damn fish shut the pumps down.
<v Speaker 2>I mean, we gotta remember he spends thirty four million
<v Speaker 2>dollars on this epic underwater undersea kingdom that it takes
<v Speaker 2>four years to build thirty four million dollars in nineteen
<v Speaker 2>eighty three, So I know that's a lot of money.
<v Speaker 2>But for what he builds, man, he is cutting corners.
<v Speaker 2>He is making some great deals. I don't know what
<v Speaker 2>was involved.
<v Speaker 3>That's worth a billion dollars now, cutting corners so that
<v Speaker 3>it cannot withstand a bump from a dark.
<v Speaker 1>Well, you got Dennis quaidon call. He got down there
<v Speaker 1>and got a pass in. So get down there and
<v Speaker 1>weld in the middle of the night and fix that thing.
<v Speaker 1>That's all I got for what what worked for me though.
<v Speaker 3>Hey, Jeff, have you seen The Meg?
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I've seen both of them.
<v Speaker 3>Okay, is the Meg just I mean, is it blatantly
<v Speaker 3>copying the ideas of Jaws three and doing it better?
<v Speaker 1>Yes, you've You've.
<v Speaker 3>Still got the shark banging into the underwater glass capsule
<v Speaker 3>and breaking it. Yep. And you've got the surprise twist
<v Speaker 3>of there's two of them mm hmm. And they pulled
<v Speaker 3>that off way better in the Meg. Even though The
<v Speaker 3>Meg is not a particularly great movie, it's still they
<v Speaker 3>pulled that part off very well.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>I've talked about the Meg before. Both of them I
<v Speaker 2>think are just fun popcorn movies. Just it's a fun
<v Speaker 2>summer popcorn movie.
<v Speaker 1>I don't want a lot.
<v Speaker 2>Just show me some cool shark attacks and let me
<v Speaker 2>see Jason Statham do some cool stuff.
<v Speaker 1>That's it. But they did it way better than joll
<v Speaker 1>three ever could. Hey, you want me to hit you
<v Speaker 1>with what I think works? What works for you, Jason.
<v Speaker 1>Since I'm the biggest fan of this movie, I guess
<v Speaker 1>I'll wait for the end to tell you what I
<v Speaker 1>think works on this. I think the premise of capturing
<v Speaker 1>a great white shark and placing it in an amusement
<v Speaker 1>park it's a great hook. Now, the execution is not perfect.
<v Speaker 1>It don't necessarily stick the landing. But when you tell
<v Speaker 1>me that this is what JOS three is going to
<v Speaker 1>be about, there's a baby great white capture inside Sea
<v Speaker 1>World and Mama gets mad, I'm like, okay, you know,
<v Speaker 1>I'm on board with that. I'm ready to go.
<v Speaker 3>The pilot in the movie Alive didn't stick the landing.
<v Speaker 3>This was as.
<v Speaker 1>I like that.
<v Speaker 2>There's a good commentary between Calvin and k about this
<v Speaker 2>is an opportunity that no one's ever had, you know,
<v Speaker 2>a great white in captivity. Think of the dollars as
<v Speaker 2>opposed to fitz Royce, who just wants to kill it
<v Speaker 2>live on television, and it's you know, think about we
<v Speaker 2>don't have great rights in captivity. There's a reason for that,
<v Speaker 2>and so I liked that they explort it honestly.
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let me. I want to talk about the cast
<v Speaker 1>for a second. I think that they nailed a young,
<v Speaker 1>kind of unknown cast early in the eighties. You have
<v Speaker 1>a young, handsome, heroic Dennis Quaid who's playing Mike Brody.
<v Speaker 3>Hey, is this my all right? I'll have beer.
<v Speaker 1>And cocaine and totally fuel by cocaine, right, Yeah. I
<v Speaker 1>believe his quote was there was not a frame of
<v Speaker 1>this picture that I was not high. I believe it.
<v Speaker 1>But this is right before he gets the right stuff
<v Speaker 1>and then takes off. I mean he's in inner space
<v Speaker 1>and he's Doc Holliday and all these other I mean,
<v Speaker 1>he's he goes on to a star spangled career. After
<v Speaker 1>Jows three, you have Bess Armstrong, who I told die
<v Speaker 1>she was a babe for about fifteen minutes, and they
<v Speaker 1>captured that moment in time.
<v Speaker 3>She was not a babe.
<v Speaker 1>She was she was a cutie pie.
<v Speaker 3>She was not a cutie pie.
<v Speaker 1>He was a cutie pie for about fifteen minutes.
<v Speaker 3>She is There's literally nothing sexually appealing about her at all.
<v Speaker 3>She is not not ugly, but like she looks like
<v Speaker 3>she should be in a high coller little house on
<v Speaker 3>the prairie style dress and her haircut makes you think
<v Speaker 3>that Mike Brody had a thing for his mom because
<v Speaker 3>she looks like a younger version of Lorraine No, Yes.
<v Speaker 1>No from Jaws, from the first Jaws.
<v Speaker 3>Yes.
<v Speaker 1>My take would be that she's hot in the way
<v Speaker 1>that Adrian. She's potentially hot, like like think like Adrian
<v Speaker 1>and Adrian from Rocky.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there's the potential they share the same amount of hotness.
<v Speaker 3>I'll go with you on that.
<v Speaker 1>There's potential there.
<v Speaker 3>And what is the deal with her kissing her boyfriend's
<v Speaker 3>brother open mouth? I mean, number one, her kisses are
<v Speaker 3>very awkward. They're very the every kiss that she delivers
<v Speaker 3>is awkward. But the fact that she also kisses her
<v Speaker 3>not brother in law, I don't even know what you
<v Speaker 3>call him, but what and they do a little sandwich
<v Speaker 3>of doctor k.
<v Speaker 1>Hey, here's my here's my brother, let's make up. I
<v Speaker 1>just because I even watching this recently, I didn't really
<v Speaker 1>pick up on the fact that did she know him
<v Speaker 1>from a prior visit because he's from Amity, but he's
<v Speaker 1>coming in from Colorado. He went to Colorado because of
<v Speaker 1>the fear. The fear. Yeah, he had a he had
<v Speaker 1>he had an issue with with the you.
<v Speaker 3>Can add you can add that to a very very
<v Speaker 3>long list of unanswered questions as far as characters and
<v Speaker 3>what happened with them in this story.
<v Speaker 1>I want to know I when you and your dad
<v Speaker 1>walked out of the theater, when you got up that
<v Speaker 1>there's a loudspeaker voice that was like, bother you guys
<v Speaker 1>to your nearest can be in exit.
<v Speaker 3>No, there was somebody running around in absolute panic trying
<v Speaker 3>to warn an entire part full of people that this
<v Speaker 3>was the worst movie ever. He wrecked a golf cart.
<v Speaker 3>He jumped into the water with his shoes on. He
<v Speaker 3>had coke streaming out of his nose. A good thing
<v Speaker 3>he did in a panic? Or use the enercom.
<v Speaker 1>What he used? What he had? He had a megaphone,
<v Speaker 1>that was it and a microphone.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, question that we can't answer.
<v Speaker 1>While we're talking about little brother Sean, he shows up
<v Speaker 1>twelve months early for the Footloose casting call to play
<v Speaker 1>Willard and I just can't figure that out. I understand
<v Speaker 1>if you're going.
<v Speaker 2>To go to school out of state, but that doesn't
<v Speaker 2>mean you become that state. He shows up in his
<v Speaker 2>cowboy hat and his boy boots and his yawls and the.
<v Speaker 3>Heels of urban cowboy.
<v Speaker 1>There were a lot of folks doing that back in there. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>he's an amity New York cowboy. There's another sequel that
<v Speaker 1>we missed out on. Hey, by the way, I'll just
<v Speaker 1>add to the Lea Thompson discussion. And she puts his
<v Speaker 1>cowboy hat on and says, you don't swim, not even
<v Speaker 1>with friends.
<v Speaker 3>That works.
<v Speaker 1>Well, you're doing anything.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So Leah Thompson, I didn't realize this is our
<v Speaker 3>feature film debut. Abe. That's not what she told the
<v Speaker 3>casting director whenever she had been in a few other movies,
<v Speaker 3>like fluffed her experience, and by fluffed, I mean lied
<v Speaker 3>about uh and I mean it worked out. She got
<v Speaker 3>this part and then just two years later she's back
<v Speaker 3>to the.
<v Speaker 1>Future Lorraine Midfly. Yeah, that's a great gamble.
<v Speaker 2>I mean, think about this eighty three. It's not like
<v Speaker 2>you can just check her out on Google. I mean,
<v Speaker 2>you're if you're not going to like the he does
<v Speaker 2>you know the.
<v Speaker 1>Filing system at the library or calling around town like yeah,
<v Speaker 1>good for her.
<v Speaker 3>And she had to have done I mean, all the
<v Speaker 3>right moves was right around this time too, right after,
<v Speaker 3>right after, right the very next movie. She probably was
<v Speaker 3>able to get that movie by saying, Hey, I'm just
<v Speaker 3>I've just been in the Jaws sequel, a pretty major
<v Speaker 3>part in the Jaws. You ever heard of Jaws?
<v Speaker 1>I'm in that movie.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, don't you want me for this movie? Before anybody
<v Speaker 3>knew how bad it was.
<v Speaker 1>By the way, Jennifer Jason Lee almost got the part
<v Speaker 1>of Kelly BATASKI. That would have been good.
<v Speaker 3>That would have been as frustrating, though, because with Jennifer
<v Speaker 3>Jason Lee, I always expect to see her breasts and
<v Speaker 3>this was a deliberately PG movie where they left all
<v Speaker 3>of the breast stakes out resting three D.
<v Speaker 1>Midnight Swims with a Shark. We missed out on this. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>anything else good to add to the list here?
<v Speaker 3>Hey.
<v Speaker 1>Richard Matheson and Carl Gottlieb wrote the script. I won't
<v Speaker 1>hold that against them. Where they got it got hacked
<v Speaker 1>to pieces, but.
<v Speaker 3>Richard Matheson wrote a script with Michael Caine for this movie.
<v Speaker 3>What Yeah, I thought I'd throw you off with that one.
<v Speaker 3>It's it was a guy named Michael Caine k a
<v Speaker 3>n e yes nut but ironic not hogy, Yeah, not
<v Speaker 3>hogy ironic. What happened with Jaws The Revenge? Different? Different?
<v Speaker 3>Michael Caine?
<v Speaker 1>I knew one armed man who took him two minutes
<v Speaker 1>to do the one on one minute wall was Come on, Ellen,
<v Speaker 1>give it a kick? Yes, okay, Well, let's talk about
<v Speaker 1>what doesn't work.
<v Speaker 3>Everything you can.
<v Speaker 1>Tell Shelby Overman for me, he can take a fine
<v Speaker 1>leap and a rolling stonnut on a gravel driveway. You
<v Speaker 1>hear any one to try us off? All right, let's
<v Speaker 1>let's talk about what doesn't work. We've already touched on
<v Speaker 1>this a little bit, but using the Brody characters, we
<v Speaker 1>know that this isn't this isn't Cannon, And this movie
<v Speaker 1>would have been so much better as just a shark
<v Speaker 1>thriller if this just could have happened to some other
<v Speaker 1>people at Sea World Orlando. We did not need to
<v Speaker 1>jam the Brody lineage down down our throat on this one.
<v Speaker 3>So that doesn't work if you're gonna do it, acknowledge
<v Speaker 3>it more than something happened to him when he was
<v Speaker 3>a kid, and he's scared of the water. I mean, yeah,
<v Speaker 3>if this is Sean and Mike Brody, this is the
<v Speaker 3>third time they've gone through something like this, acknowledge that.
<v Speaker 3>Don't act like it's they've never had some to deal
<v Speaker 3>with something like this before. Bring up the dad having
<v Speaker 3>to kill two great whites in their past and having
<v Speaker 3>witnessed people being massacred, none of that. Why wouldn't you
<v Speaker 3>go into that.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, at this point, Michael has had two very intense
<v Speaker 2>encounters with a shark. You know, he gets the scare
<v Speaker 2>in the Bay, you know where they have to take
<v Speaker 2>him to the hospital and Jaws. Obviously, him and his
<v Speaker 2>buddies all get their smaller boats get destroyed at the
<v Speaker 2>end of Jaws too, So he's pretty happy go lucky
<v Speaker 2>about it, where Sean's just the dealing with some severe
<v Speaker 2>PTSD over I don't know, seeing his brother almost get eaten.
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, it doesn't work. Just get rid of the
<v Speaker 2>Brody characters, that's all you do. Dennis Quaid could have
<v Speaker 2>been anybody else but Mike Brady. That's one problem. Another
<v Speaker 2>big problem. This shark is boring. And what I mean
<v Speaker 2>by that is the mouth moves little, if at all.
<v Speaker 2>We just get that same static, very gummy looking shot
<v Speaker 2>doesn't really move its mouth, and the climactic break through
<v Speaker 2>the glass scene it's it's basically it looks like a
<v Speaker 2>cardboard cutout of a shark that's just slowly inching along.
<v Speaker 1>It's tear and I look, I get it.
<v Speaker 2>We know that's three D effects rendering to two D,
<v Speaker 2>but that doesn't excuse the fact that even in three
<v Speaker 2>D it probably did not look fantastic.
<v Speaker 1>This shark, that's a boring shark.
<v Speaker 3>As far as it's certain, I'm going to jump on
<v Speaker 3>everything that you say here and take it up a notch.
<v Speaker 3>So they I watched the making of I did. I
<v Speaker 3>watched the making of Jaws three, which, by the way,
<v Speaker 3>for the first it's a forty five minute thing. For
<v Speaker 3>the first twenty minutes all they do is like live
<v Speaker 3>shots of real sharks and scenes from Jaws one and
<v Speaker 3>Jaws two. That's how little faith they had in their
<v Speaker 3>own movie. But when when they did start talking about
<v Speaker 3>Jaws three, they talked about how precise they were about
<v Speaker 3>making sure that this robotic shark's mouth operated like a
<v Speaker 3>real great white's mouth where the teeth protrude from the mouth. Good.
<v Speaker 3>Why didn't we get to see any of that, Like,
<v Speaker 3>we didn't see that one single time, not once. And
<v Speaker 3>to add onto your you know, the phenomenally terrible slow
<v Speaker 3>motion attack of the where they literally have the characters
<v Speaker 3>scream in slow motion as the shark moves in what
<v Speaker 3>appears to be slow motion. This is the same shark
<v Speaker 3>that we saw just a bit ago keeping up with
<v Speaker 3>the skiers on a set boat, Like, this is the
<v Speaker 3>fastest great white in history, and now when it's about
<v Speaker 3>to attack, it has to ram the window that is
<v Speaker 3>made with glass that is supposed to withstand the pressure
<v Speaker 3>of being underwater. It's moving at the speed of paint.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know, just to jump on what you guys
<v Speaker 1>are saying. One of the things that I don't think
<v Speaker 1>works is literally we go from we think there's a
<v Speaker 1>shark somewhere in the vicinity to the shark it's the
<v Speaker 1>bumber cars, It attacks the skiers, it attacks the tube.
<v Speaker 1>It's like terrorizing this SeaWorld park.
<v Speaker 3>For my positive lists, because I was really trying to
<v Speaker 3>find positives, I was going to mention that they used
<v Speaker 3>live shark footage in this. I thought that was a
<v Speaker 3>great part of part one. The Valerie Taylor whatever her
<v Speaker 3>husband's name is. Those guys had film stuff that they
<v Speaker 3>used live real sharks, and that's great. They use it
<v Speaker 3>in this, but for some reason they decided to speed
<v Speaker 3>it up, speed it up or slow it down in
<v Speaker 3>some kind of nonsensical way, which ruined the positive aspect
<v Speaker 3>of using the live shark footage in the first place.
<v Speaker 2>I got one, I got one more thing, go for it.
<v Speaker 2>I can go either way on a freeze frame ending.
<v Speaker 1>However, this is the most horrible version of a freeze
<v Speaker 1>frame ending ever because we get this great, happy, mega
<v Speaker 1>terrific ending where you got Mike and Ka and the dolphins,
<v Speaker 1>Cindy and Sandy all waving at us with a big smile,
<v Speaker 1>like the dolphins are even with their their fins are waving.
<v Speaker 1>I just it's so cringe worthy. I mean, I'm just like,
<v Speaker 1>and you get the shout all right, yeah, thank you
<v Speaker 1>for the Mentos fresh Maker, because it's that's terrible. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>we've already talked about what for me, what doesn't work?
<v Speaker 1>I think the picture quality is terrible until twenty twelve.
<v Speaker 1>The effects are awful. The shark on a railroad system.
<v Speaker 1>The cardboard Shark cut out the money shot of the movie.
<v Speaker 1>You can't spend a five extra bucks to make his
<v Speaker 1>tail wag, you know, or something something make him wiggle
<v Speaker 1>a little bit. The submarine going across where they're like,
<v Speaker 1>oh yeah, Mike, kay, we see you looks like, you know,
<v Speaker 1>a clash of the Titans effect or yeah yeah, very animated.
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of pointing and motioning and grunting by
<v Speaker 1>the actors. Under the water there's a whole lot of
<v Speaker 1>and then the dolphins versus the shark scene is cringeworthy.
<v Speaker 1>It's ridiculous.
<v Speaker 3>On this week's episode of Flipper, Flipper Encounter is not one,
<v Speaker 3>but two great white I got one more thing.
<v Speaker 1>I told d the end of the movie really worked
<v Speaker 1>for me as a kid. You've got a dead guy
<v Speaker 1>hanging out in the shark's mouth with a grenade in
<v Speaker 1>his hand. With a grenade, yeah right, I can't get
<v Speaker 1>out of my car without dropping my phone, but the
<v Speaker 1>dead man is holding the grenade firmly in his hand. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>With the dead man still in the shark's mouth, the
<v Speaker 1>shark goes and eats somebody in the control room Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>the nephew drags him out, presumably eats him, doesn't matter.
<v Speaker 1>He works his way around the grenade, but just the
<v Speaker 1>fact that the arm grenade is still holding it securely
<v Speaker 1>long enough for them to pull the pin and you know,
<v Speaker 1>blow the floating three d jaws at us.
<v Speaker 2>Can we just quickly mention the world's most difficult carnival
<v Speaker 2>game because Dennis quad in scuba gear fashions some kind
<v Speaker 2>of hook in front of the in front of the
<v Speaker 2>great white shark, and then as k is jabbin at him,
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna believe that he sticks this thing in the
<v Speaker 2>shark's mouth, catches the pin on the grenade and pulls it.
<v Speaker 3>I get my ke, he's locked in my car. I'm
<v Speaker 3>calling Dennis Quaid.
<v Speaker 1>Now, don't forget the World's Greatest drinking game too. It's
<v Speaker 1>all about balance.
<v Speaker 3>So this is a real game. Like I thought that
<v Speaker 3>this had to become something completely made.
<v Speaker 1>Up it and this is really to be real. This
<v Speaker 1>is a real game.
<v Speaker 3>I literally texted you guys during this part, I'm like,
<v Speaker 3>what is this phony maloney balance game that they're doing
<v Speaker 3>in the bar. It's called standoff and apparently you have
<v Speaker 3>to plant your feet and the objective is to make
<v Speaker 3>the other guy fall down. I don't know if in
<v Speaker 3>real life that it looks as ridiculous as it did
<v Speaker 3>in this movie, but it is a real game. I
<v Speaker 3>think it's more like something the kids play than like
<v Speaker 3>grown ups play.
<v Speaker 1>But we used to play a recess you really, Yeah
<v Speaker 1>it did. I'm bringing this back to all the pubs
<v Speaker 1>I go to, Okay, and I do want to bring
<v Speaker 1>up one other thing that I think worked, And I
<v Speaker 1>just want to double down on what you said, Jeff.
<v Speaker 1>When fitz Royce is inside the shark's mouth, for me,
<v Speaker 1>that was nightmare fuel as a ten year old god,
<v Speaker 1>it's one thing to get chomped and like chewed up
<v Speaker 1>by a shark, but to be like swallowed or like
<v Speaker 1>stuck inside the shark and you can't get out. That
<v Speaker 1>scared scared me a lot as a kid. So yeah,
<v Speaker 1>this is you know, Kay, lets us know this is
<v Speaker 1>a thirty five foot mother shark, so very easily you can,
<v Speaker 1>you know, if you're going to swallow the guy from animal,
<v Speaker 1>this is no big task for the shark. I don't
<v Speaker 1>think that was a scary scene, though maybe probably the
<v Speaker 1>scary scene.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, is it my turn?
<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's your turn. Okay, hit us with what doesn't work.
<v Speaker 3>So this is a story that actually had potential, right,
<v Speaker 3>you guys have it out that Hey, this idea that
<v Speaker 3>sharks invade a And when I told my son about it,
<v Speaker 3>I was like, they're in this like kind of park,
<v Speaker 3>aquatic park. It's kind of like SeaWorld. And then I
<v Speaker 3>turned it on. I'm like, holy it is what did
<v Speaker 3>they approve this? I mean they're all over this.
<v Speaker 1>What the giant commercial for SeaWorld. No it's not this.
<v Speaker 1>Don't take your family to SeaWorld.
<v Speaker 3>I was gonna say this is the worst thing for
<v Speaker 3>SeaWorld until Blackfish. My friend, this is this is terrible.
<v Speaker 3>But anyway, they the idea that there's an invasion. That's
<v Speaker 3>a good idea, but they totally they don't use any
<v Speaker 3>of the opportunities that come along with that idea, and
<v Speaker 3>when they do, they do a terrible job of it.
<v Speaker 3>Then who's the bad guy in this? Are we gonna
<v Speaker 3>say Lewis guys a junior? I mean he's he's the
<v Speaker 3>most watered down version of the mayor from the It's
<v Speaker 3>not him. And then I thought it was Rice Troy,
<v Speaker 3>Like I thought it was going to be the guy
<v Speaker 3>from Animal I thought he was gonna be. Yeah, because
<v Speaker 3>there's this opportunity of okay, he's he's hitting on doctor
<v Speaker 3>k and so there's going to be this animosity and
<v Speaker 3>then maybe he's the guy that's sacrificed. Oh, none of that,
<v Speaker 3>that total you. He's not a bad guy. He's not
<v Speaker 3>a good guy. He's just a guy who wants to
<v Speaker 3>kill the shark with a grenade. And that's a He's
<v Speaker 3>a plot point. Yeah, he's not a character. He's a
<v Speaker 3>plot point, but he's a character that could have been
<v Speaker 3>and he wasn't. And then there's no tension between Dennis
<v Speaker 3>Quaid and bess what's her name, I'm strong Armstrong. There's
<v Speaker 3>no there's no love tension between them, but there was
<v Speaker 3>a total opportunity. He's got this job. I guess they
<v Speaker 3>need aquatic engineers in Venezuela. So he's got this big
<v Speaker 3>job offer, and maybe there's some tension with her trying
<v Speaker 3>to figure out, oh do I stay here with Shamou
<v Speaker 3>or do I go with my boyfriend? And now it's
<v Speaker 3>all just kind of yeah, okay, I'll go with you.
<v Speaker 3>Well I'll just quit and I'll just go with you.
<v Speaker 3>Then you have the entire movie take place in one place.
<v Speaker 3>It's all at Sea World. Like they don't they don't
<v Speaker 3>leave seed World, We don't go to their house, we
<v Speaker 3>don't need any none of that. They don't go down
<v Speaker 3>to the Bahamas. And yet I was absolutely confused as
<v Speaker 3>to how this park was made up like it was.
<v Speaker 3>I was like, I don't understand where things are. When
<v Speaker 3>Viceroy gets eaten and his guy who's been this tough
<v Speaker 3>as nails guy being That's why I said, pitt Roycevice whatever.
<v Speaker 1>Whos the Star Wars listeners will appreciate.
<v Speaker 3>When the when the Robert Shaw character that is his
<v Speaker 3>best buddy thinks that he might be he starts bawling
<v Speaker 3>like a baby, that guy, and he goes in some
<v Speaker 3>random tunnel that I'm like, why why is he going
<v Speaker 3>in this tunnel? That was this is the first time
<v Speaker 3>we've seen this tunnel. And he's running down screaming at
<v Speaker 3>the top of the water as though he has no
<v Speaker 3>experience how sound and water work together, and he's balling
<v Speaker 3>like a baby. I mean, it's just there were a
<v Speaker 3>lot of opportunities for good things to happen that they
<v Speaker 3>all let die. It seems to me they took an
<v Speaker 3>effort to make this the worst movie.
<v Speaker 1>That they I do agree with you that if fitz
<v Speaker 1>Royce had been a bad guy or doing something slimy
<v Speaker 1>behind the scenes, that would have been a very satisfying
<v Speaker 1>death to see him get crushed to death in the
<v Speaker 1>shark's mouth.
<v Speaker 3>Do we even know what he was doing?
<v Speaker 1>Like, why was he here taking pictures? Yeah, he's there,
<v Speaker 1>but I don't.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he's there to just photograph the water skiers and
<v Speaker 2>some dolphins and some other stuff. You know, watching this again, Yeah,
<v Speaker 2>since brought the guy up his assistant who is really
<v Speaker 2>attached to, uh, the Viceroy fitz Royce, he gave off
<v Speaker 2>a real Smithers. He gave off a real Smithers vibe
<v Speaker 2>this time watching it, you know from the Simpsons, is
<v Speaker 2>he is too attached to to this guy?
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this is the guy that punched out the guy
<v Speaker 3>who was resistant to getting out of the water. He
<v Speaker 3>was awesome, I am here to save you. Let me
<v Speaker 3>hit you in the face.
<v Speaker 1>Guys holding a beer and he's in two feet of water.
<v Speaker 1>He's gonna be okay. Actually, I'll tell you one thing
<v Speaker 1>that that worked that we didn't mention as a kid.
<v Speaker 1>When Leah Thompson gets knocked off the bumper boat and
<v Speaker 1>the shark like gouges her thigh and they pull her
<v Speaker 1>out of the out of the water and they lay
<v Speaker 1>her on the ground. I was like, oh, my gosh,
<v Speaker 1>look at her leg.
<v Speaker 3>I was like, well, my gosh, look at her nipples.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna redirect that.
<v Speaker 1>That works, It works? But what what doesn't work? Okay,
<v Speaker 1>what the what the heck happened to him? Sean jumps
<v Speaker 1>in the ambulance with her, and they're never to be
<v Speaker 1>seen again. Sean gets eaten at the beginning of the Revenge.
<v Speaker 1>Well that's true.
<v Speaker 3>You know.
<v Speaker 1>The Willard stand in is Dennis Quade's younger brother. He
<v Speaker 1>jumps in the ambulance. But again, what happened to her?
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Literally, that's the most interesting romantic storyline of the movie.
<v Speaker 3>And they just cut to credits without ever telling it's
<v Speaker 3>no resolution. We have no resolution. I'm watching this movie
<v Speaker 3>and I'm thinking to myself that this was supposed to
<v Speaker 3>be a National Lampoon's story Initially. I really feel like
<v Speaker 3>they still left some bits in there. There are some
<v Speaker 3>moments where they're peeking around the corner. And when Leah
<v Speaker 3>Thompson and Sean Brody are playing hide and seek in
<v Speaker 3>the maybe two foot tall flag maze, I was like,
<v Speaker 3>is this Benny Hill? What is this? They're prancing around
<v Speaker 3>and I'm expecting a saxophone to start going.
<v Speaker 2>But when we're introduced to her character, she's clearly the
<v Speaker 2>Marion Ravenwood of SeaWorld Orlando. So maybe they were had
<v Speaker 2>quite a few drinks at the point where they're playing
<v Speaker 2>hide and seek in that small netting.
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I'm I'm here for it because you
<v Speaker 1>know I'll follow her down to the beach anytime.
<v Speaker 3>All right.
<v Speaker 1>So my question to you guys is number one, if
<v Speaker 1>you're in charge of the Jaws franchise at Universal, what
<v Speaker 1>can we do to save this franchise? Is it savable?
<v Speaker 1>Can we save it? I have a three point plan,
<v Speaker 1>but I want to I thought i'd let d take.
<v Speaker 3>In the last forty years since this movie came out.
<v Speaker 3>I don't think this is a you can do a
<v Speaker 3>sequel and do this franchise justice. I don't think that
<v Speaker 3>you can't. I mean this goes back to the film
<v Speaker 3>by questions at the end, you know, do you do sequel, prequel,
<v Speaker 3>or reboot. To me, this is a reboot. This deserves
<v Speaker 3>the character development that we got in the first Jaws.
<v Speaker 3>But let's do a different type of storyline, same type
<v Speaker 3>of shark. But and maybe you know, I don't know
<v Speaker 3>how you do it. I don't know if it's a
<v Speaker 3>past the torch kind of thing like we've talked about
<v Speaker 3>with Indiana Jones, you know, Harrison Ford passing the torch
<v Speaker 3>to a Chris Pratt type of guy. I don't know
<v Speaker 3>how that all plays out. But I don't think you
<v Speaker 3>try to go back and revisit the story where you've
<v Speaker 3>got a non canon three that's terrible and a canon
<v Speaker 3>four which is only slightly less terrible. We gotta We
<v Speaker 3>got a text today. This is a text from deaf
<v Speaker 3>Dave that we got today that said, I feel like
<v Speaker 3>Jason and Jeff need to explore this movie. And it
<v Speaker 3>was Amityville in Space, right, yes, And so I looked
<v Speaker 3>at the at the IMDb for Amityville in Space and
<v Speaker 3>apparently there's no trademark protection on Amityville because there's about
<v Speaker 3>one hundred movies that are Amityville something. But in addition
<v Speaker 3>to that, with the what you should watch if you
<v Speaker 3>like this terrible movie. We're a bunch of like Sharknado,
<v Speaker 3>Amity Shark, all of these other you know, Shark and
<v Speaker 3>the Haunted House things. And I think the fear of
<v Speaker 3>the Shark is something that you got to get rid
<v Speaker 3>of because that really wasn't the driving force behind Jaws.
<v Speaker 3>It wasn't the driving force behind Jaws two. What it
<v Speaker 3>was was a man versus nature fight and a character,
<v Speaker 3>the Roy Scheider character, Chief Brody character that hates the
<v Speaker 3>position that he's in, but has a family to support,
<v Speaker 3>in a town to fight, and he's torn and doesn't
<v Speaker 3>know what to do. That's the interesting part about this.
<v Speaker 3>And then the three men on the boat going after
<v Speaker 3>the monster.
<v Speaker 1>That's it, all right, Jeff, If I'm walking into Universal,
<v Speaker 1>I've got a three point plan to revive the franchise
<v Speaker 1>because it is criminal that this franchise has been lying
<v Speaker 1>dormant since nineteen eighty seven. In my opinion, it's a
<v Speaker 1>money maker. We know that. So first off, let's focus
<v Speaker 1>on new characters each time you do a film. If
<v Speaker 1>Jaws is our Star Wars title, then we can have
<v Speaker 1>Jaws the Revenge, you know, like we had the revenge.
<v Speaker 1>Let's have Jaws, Great White terror.
<v Speaker 2>Whatever, you know, change up the film and the location
<v Speaker 2>and more importantly, the characters. Let's see some different areas,
<v Speaker 2>let's see different people. Leading to my second point, let's
<v Speaker 2>change up the shark. It doesn't have to be a
<v Speaker 2>Great White every time. The last time we talked about
<v Speaker 2>when we talked about Jaws Revenge, d made a great point.
<v Speaker 2>Why can't we have a bull shark? You know, we know,
<v Speaker 2>we know Hooper has talked about tiger sharks and a threat.
<v Speaker 2>You know, all these all these incredible sharks are out
<v Speaker 2>there that are deadly, and we're just stuck on the
<v Speaker 2>Great White because.
<v Speaker 3>Of its size. But you know, do a whale shark
<v Speaker 3>do anything?
<v Speaker 1>Just change it because the attack of the whale shark? Yes,
<v Speaker 1>but I mean think about it.
<v Speaker 2>If the title is Jaws, all these things have teeth
<v Speaker 2>to sink into us.
<v Speaker 1>Let's see except the whale shark. But let's see, let's
<v Speaker 1>see some different sharks in the water that are terrorizing us.
<v Speaker 1>And uh. That leads me to my third point.
<v Speaker 2>In this this reboot, this relaunch, if you will, Matt
<v Speaker 2>Hooper is the character that ties all the movies together.
<v Speaker 2>We know from Jaws that he has been all over
<v Speaker 2>the place. He's set to go out on the Aurora
<v Speaker 2>for you know, twelve months at sea. Let him be
<v Speaker 2>kind of our nick fury of the Jaws franchise, and
<v Speaker 2>I think and just call and just call him Hooper.
<v Speaker 2>So if he's just if he's Hooper, maybe he's Matt
<v Speaker 2>Hooper's son. Maybe he's not, Maybe we don't know he's
<v Speaker 2>a Hooper.
<v Speaker 3>I think you bring back Dreyfus and Hooper has become
<v Speaker 3>quint in his character, like he's become the old angry
<v Speaker 3>man who's witness nails.
<v Speaker 2>I would love that, but uh, you know, famously, he's
<v Speaker 2>always he's always said he would never do Jaws again
<v Speaker 2>without Spielberg. And unless we can get Spielberg to kick
<v Speaker 2>off this new relaunch, I think we're we're without him.
<v Speaker 1>But that's that's that's my take. That's how you fix
<v Speaker 1>this franchise. Love it, I love it.
<v Speaker 3>What do you go?
<v Speaker 1>Well, that's that's where I was gonna go. I would
<v Speaker 1>bring Hooper back as the the krusty old seaman.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, anyway, I want to pretend like that was unintenenal.
<v Speaker 1>I want to bring Hooper back and relaunch the franchise
<v Speaker 1>with Hooper. I think that that would be amazing, first
<v Speaker 1>of all, to revisit that character and then thrust him
<v Speaker 1>in there. He's almost eighty years old, but he's the expert.
<v Speaker 1>And let's we got to draw this guy out of retirement,
<v Speaker 1>throw him on a boat. We've got a shark eating kids, whatever,
<v Speaker 1>and Hooper has to come out of retirement. That's that's
<v Speaker 1>what I would do, and I think people would go
<v Speaker 1>see that.
<v Speaker 2>So if I'm hearing you right, you you're fixed to
<v Speaker 2>the franchise is to thrust the semen back into the water.
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's let's do this.
<v Speaker 3>Is now the time we mentioned the conversation that we had.
<v Speaker 1>I think we should. Yeah, go ahead.
<v Speaker 3>Well, I hadn't yet watched the movie. I still haven't
<v Speaker 3>watched Beverly Hills Cop three, by the way, But I
<v Speaker 3>just got to tell you this movie has its work
<v Speaker 3>cut out for it.
<v Speaker 1>In h I just can't be don't put it out
<v Speaker 1>of the running. I'm killing believe.
<v Speaker 3>The Beverly Hills Cop three is going to be worse
<v Speaker 3>than what I just watched. But I hadn't yet watched it.
<v Speaker 3>The DVD, the Blu Ray that I had purchased had
<v Speaker 3>just arrived in the mail, and Jason said, I am
<v Speaker 3>anxious for you to break your Jaws three D cherry.
<v Speaker 3>And I said, well, forty years ago they did stick
<v Speaker 3>it in already, and maybe just the tip. Yeah, and
<v Speaker 3>he and he goes, well, I'm anxious for the shark
<v Speaker 3>to impregnate you, to which I said, oh, you mean
<v Speaker 3>the end where it explodesh yes, we're all thirteen years old.
<v Speaker 3>Thank you.
<v Speaker 1>So you you're d You're thinking Beverly Hills Cop three
<v Speaker 1>can't possibly be worse.
<v Speaker 3>I am thinking that it cannot possibly be worth well.
<v Speaker 2>I quote, I quote Mulla Ram when I say you
<v Speaker 2>don't believe us, man hold out to Mulla Ram.
<v Speaker 1>Quote that was nice?
<v Speaker 3>All right.
<v Speaker 1>Quickly, Jeff ranked the four Jaws movies that we have
<v Speaker 1>ready go best the worst, yep, Jaws, Jaws two, Jaws Revenge,
<v Speaker 1>JOS three D. Jos three D is the worst.
<v Speaker 3>One hundred percent agree, hundred percent agree.
<v Speaker 1>Okay, it's been a little bit since I've seen jo
<v Speaker 1>just two, so my number one is Jaws. There's no
<v Speaker 1>way anything's better than Joss. My inclination is to put
<v Speaker 1>Jaws the Revenge in the number two spot. Okay, it's
<v Speaker 1>been a while since I've seen JOS two whatever, Josh four,
<v Speaker 1>Jos two, Just two, jo just four and then just
<v Speaker 1>three is definitely the worst, although I clearly love it
<v Speaker 1>more than you guys do. I have nostalgic feelings of
<v Speaker 1>summertime at the matinee, that type of thing. But Josh
<v Speaker 1>four is way better than Just three.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it is absolutely.
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well, come back next week once d has lost
<v Speaker 1>his virginity to Beverly Hills Cop three. We're gonna hear
<v Speaker 1>whether or not you think that movie is worse or
<v Speaker 1>this movie is worse. We're gonna ask what the heck
<v Speaker 1>happened with that? Jeff, you're gonna come back with us?
<v Speaker 1>I would love to. Okay, Well, we're gonna talk Axel
<v Speaker 1>Foley and John Landis and Judge Reinhold and John Saxon
<v Speaker 1>and they have another movie set at an amusement park.
<v Speaker 3>Gone awrye.
<v Speaker 1>All right, we'll see you here next week. Thanks Jeff,
<v Speaker 1>Thank you guys, see us soon.
<v Speaker 2>Just the right amount of history, just the right amount
<v Speaker 2>of trashing it, just the right amount of hey, we
<v Speaker 2>like this part of it, and lea thompss
<v Speaker 1>Nipples I mentioned, So that's a win.