Kristen Doute

00:00:00
Speaker 1: This is what happens when I have a friend on the podcast. We just dive right in. Welcome back to the Give Them All a Podcast. I have a dear friend of mine, Kristen Dody, and I love that she. She just rolled in here looking sheaic as fuck and it's like said something about diarrhea, and I was like, she was walking down the hall, I hear it. She comes in the office. I was like, hold up, you have diarrhea, but you're.

00:00:32
Speaker 2: Ever say I might have COVID and walking into your office and saying I have diarrhea. I do not have diarrhea. I would admit if I did to you.

00:00:41
Speaker 1: Okay, good because I'm y old, like thin right now, trying to pack on the pounds. So anything that's going to make me have diarrhea or throw up, I just can't afford it.

00:00:50
Speaker 2: My my friend, my Luke, who my my co host on my podcast.

00:00:56
Speaker 3: Your podcast, Sex Love and What Else Matter with Kristin Dodie.

00:01:01
Speaker 2: Because nothing else does it really doesn't. Luke left town yesterday. He's been in la He lives in Colorado. He left town yesterday to go home and handle some shit. And while he's handling his shit, I'm handling his German shepherd's shit. I'm telling you, I think getting harder than a baby. What do you think you have a one? I don't. I feel like a human would never make me feel that, like stressed out, because it's like, but it's my baby, Like yeah, it's streussful. I'll tell you sitting and stuff, but it's my purse, it's my little baby.

00:01:30
Speaker 1: One percent. Your baby is like your baby, and I'm sure there are people out there. Your dog is like your baby, and I'm sure there are people out there who don't have a connection to children and their dogs really are their babies. As someone who has always wanted kids but is dog obsessed, like Lily is my baby, and I've said to her, said to Lily even when I was pregnant, I was like, don't worry because I could never love this baby as much as I love you, Like there's just no possible way. And then yeah, ocean like slip and slide it out of my vagina, and it was like, really sorry.

00:02:12
Speaker 2: I know, and I was I listened. I was listening to your last podcast when Easton came back on with you guys, and in the very beginning, you said I wish everyone could experience my baby, and I'm like, I do too, I wish everyone could experience ocean because Jess posted a selfie video that ocean.

00:02:29
Speaker 3: Took selfie video that ocean took his and I immediately wrote you and I said, I have one of those on my phone too, from Thanksgiving.

00:02:36
Speaker 2: You do, And she's like holding the phone up like she's taking a selfie and good light.

00:02:41
Speaker 1: Actually she's seen that evil from No It's incredible.

00:02:44
Speaker 3: Kyle saw that on my phone and he said, did she take that video herself?

00:02:48
Speaker 4: And I said, yeah, she does. He's at wait, he like was shocked. He's like, no, she's a genius.

00:02:52
Speaker 2: She is? Is she?

00:02:55
Speaker 1: I don't know, but like last night, Okay, So she gets these little rashes where her diaper sits on her legs because she's got little legs.

00:03:04
Speaker 2: She's a little.

00:03:06
Speaker 1: And she's a tiny little tot, but she's keeping like an almost two year old, so there's like a lot. So we got to size up in the diapers, right, So the diapers are baggy, but they fill up pretty quick. But she knows that when I change her dipe that I put cream on the little like I guess rashes on her legs. She has her baby out yesterday. You guys with the diaper with the wipes like those little bitty babies or whatever from American Girl. You can get all the little stuff and there's diaper rash cream. And I'm watching her dabbit on both of the inside of the baby's legs.

00:03:43
Speaker 4: Is she's sucking genius? She actually is.

00:03:50
Speaker 1: Back to what I was going to say about the dogs. I feel like dogs actually are harder. And here's why. Because a baby, like is only a baby for so long, and then they with every day that passes, they become more and more independent, right, and they know how to they learn how to how to communicate.

00:04:08
Speaker 2: A dog is basically a newborn forever.

00:04:11
Speaker 1: Yes, So that's where it is very different. So you basically have four new newborns living in your house, Like they.

00:04:19
Speaker 2: Know how to communicate as much as they can buttrist, but they just depend on me the way that a newborn does. Like you have to let me outside, you have to feed me, you have to give me water, you have to play with me.

00:04:30
Speaker 1: And if I have to project, I'll pop everywhere and I can't get outside quick enough and I can't sit on a toilet.

00:04:36
Speaker 2: And I backyard anymore.

00:04:39
Speaker 1: You know what, they'll baby, you'll get there. Let's talk about that because I was there when you became a homeowner. I was there when you sold your home, and we I didn't like it as like a going away party. It was more like, let's celebrate Ben, it's new beginnings.

00:04:55
Speaker 2: But it was not the new beginning I was looking for.

00:04:58
Speaker 1: Well, girl, I feel you on that. It's a very stratch.

00:05:01
Speaker 2: We're in similar positions, although very not but still having with someone else into their home and starting a life totally thought. Granted I was not engaged or with child, but just yeah.

00:05:16
Speaker 1: But you know what I really and situations are are relative, you know, like you could be going through something completely different than me, and our pain could be the exact same. Like who is one to judge which is more painful than the other, doesn't matter. Pain is pain. So you having to sell this home that you had worked for for your entire life? Yeah, I mean what was like the morning process of that. I've never been a homeowner.

00:05:42
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I mean, I'll like start at the end and work backwards. But like the very very last night, I almost just slept in a sleeping bag, But like I stayed there for so long and just cried on my back. I could like cry right not thinking about it. I cried on my back patio. Like a couple of people came over, like a neighbor and Zach, my best friend, and like came over and we had a glass of wine. But I mostly just like sat there just staring at everything, like no furniture. These people are about to like come take over the especially because I didn't buy a turn keyhouse, you know, like I love it. I put a lot of work, a lot of love, a lot of money, a lot of money. So yeah, I still have this feeling like one day it's going to be my second home. One day I'm going to be so stupid wealthy that I'm just going to go back to those people or whoever owns it, and I'll be like, what do you want for it? That's amazing? Do you realize I need it?

00:06:43
Speaker 1: You're manifesting right now on this podcast, And I believe in that wholeheartedly.

00:06:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've driven by it twice. I won't do it again. They've painted it like this ugly shade of like elephant sad gray and with like a black mesh fence around it. I'm like, this house was like magical and amsicle.

00:07:03
Speaker 1: No, very whimsical. It felt like you were in a story book. Yeah, like the fence and just all of it. It was like I feel like I'm in a nursery rhyme.

00:07:16
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that was was that a lot of your doing?

00:07:19
Speaker 3: You said you didn't buy a turnkey house, so was a lot of it there when you moved in or did you move in and just put all of that work.

00:07:25
Speaker 2: Into the vibe? It was I bought the house because of the vibe. Okay, I knew going in. I had to like knock down walls, redo floors, like gut things. I got it almost the whole backyard. But it was just like something about that house I kept like the day that I saw it. I just like I would walk out to the street, take a moment, I'm like, I gotta go back in. I gotta go back in.

00:07:44
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:07:45
Speaker 2: It was just like with a dog, you like meet your dog, like you know that that's your animal. It's like I knew that was my house, regardless of how much work it was going to take.

00:07:56
Speaker 3: I am curious though, with your house, Kristen, do you think you had so much attachment and love to it.

00:08:02
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm sure there's many many reasons, Like you said, you put so much work into it.

00:08:06
Speaker 3: Did you go through some like deep changes there or like find yourself for?

00:08:11
Speaker 4: How long were you there?

00:08:12
Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh my god, I was there two and a half years. But it was like the most independent I had ever felt, because I had just broken up with my ex boyfriend Carter and kept my apartment for a couple of months, like in the interim while I was like making changes, but I really like moved in there on my own. At that time, I was still doing the show vander Pump and then I got my book deal. I wrote my entire book in that house, in that backyard and like a little bit in Palm Springs but whatever, and like I had a James May office and I was just I was fucking thriving.

00:08:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, like at her arriving home, it was her house, and then you went out to like this amazing backyard which was also just like such a few The whole thing was very feel good. Yeah, but there was a second.

00:09:02
Speaker 2: It was the garage that was converted.

00:09:03
Speaker 1: It was converted, but she had it was amazing. It was beautifully done. And she had like cute chairs and her neon sign that said James May and all of her area where she would package things. So it was not only like a feel good home, but it was also very functional.

00:09:19
Speaker 2: It was just like productive totally because essentially that like the like long story short, but the office was meant to be kind of like a showroom. At the time, I had an office downtown in Downtown, LA where I had people like packing all my stuff. But then the pandemic hit right a year after I got it, so it was like we had to get out of Downtown. I wasn't you know, we were in legit lockdown where we weren't even allowed in that building anymore. So we had to move all of our inventory. But I was like, oh, thank god, I have all this space. Yeah, let's do the damn thing. That's an actual functional office, not just a showroom.

00:09:55
Speaker 1: There's going to be seasons, and it sounds so fucking cheesy, and until you're in experiencing seasons of life, you just have to roll with it and go, I don't know why the fuck this is happening, but what I do know is nothing less forever correct, and you you in those moments We talk about this all the time, just and I. In those moments you choose am I sinking or am I swimming? I like that and you fucking swam.

00:10:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even that I'm trying water for sure.

00:10:25
Speaker 1: Hey, I guess why your head is above water?

00:10:27
Speaker 2: Dish. Yeah.

00:10:28
Speaker 1: So whatever type of technique you're doing, it don't matter, all right, And you have incredible people around you. And I have to say, I don't realize, or didn't realize how sensitive my friend Kristen is. She comes off as a real tough bitch, like, I think you might be more sensitive than me.

00:10:45
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm way more sensitive than you. But you're fine, Aquarius. But I'm like right on the cusp of Pisces. So I feel like I have all that like emo Pisces in me. Okay, right, I'm just like my sister and I talk about all the time because whenever I needed, like I call my sister about something going on in my life, She's like, do you want advice or do you just want me to listen? Because my sister is a cancer and I can I don't understand cancers to save my life. We have so many cancers in our life on the cast and and none of them are the same. But like my sister is like she always says she doesn't feel feelings, and I was like, well, I feel them enough for the both of us, right, you don't need to feel feelings. Maybe I got that comfort. So I cried one time because there was a Luke and I were in Colorado and on the ranch where my friend Rachel Ryan lives. Blah blah blah. Talked about it on my podcast The Ranch. But it's the most beautiful, like clear skies. You know, there's nothing around which is beauty, just like la. But one time we were looking and I was not on like mushrooms or anything. I wasn't even stoned, and We're looking at the sky and I saw this cloud that was like nowhere near all the other clouds. And I was like, that clouds so lonely, and I got so sad for that cloud. And I was like, it needs to like go with its friends. He's like, are you really fucking sad about a cloud? Right now?

00:12:04
Speaker 1: You know what, though, Kristen, I so relate to that, Like if I were to see that, I'd be like I'm that cloud, Like there's something about that cloud, like I'm identifying with it.

00:12:14
Speaker 2: Can you go to the movies alone, either of you?

00:12:17
Speaker 4: I can't, but Kyle can.

00:12:18
Speaker 1: He loves it.

00:12:19
Speaker 2: Oh, I think I don't even want to go to the movies with people. No can you? No?

00:12:23
Speaker 4: No, no, you can't enjoy it alone.

00:12:26
Speaker 2: I can't like just go to a restaurant alone if I have my computer with me and my dogs, and I'm like, I need to get out of the apartment. I just need to like be somewhere more open with sunshine, okay if I'm working. But I can't just like go enjoy a meal alone, Okay, I just I need to like connect with people.

00:12:43
Speaker 1: So is it more of it's not that you can't go by yourself, or is it like I just don't want to.

00:12:48
Speaker 2: I don't want to.

00:12:49
Speaker 1: I don't want to either.

00:12:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, I'm like, yeah, capable, But how boring is that.

00:12:53
Speaker 3: Some people thrive I get what you're saying, though, some people thrive off that. When I used to like wait tables, there would be women who come in, they get their book, they have a glass of wine, they're sitting there.

00:13:03
Speaker 1: They sit there for Oh honey, when I was a drinker, I don't even need anybody because I'm seeing double of everything.

00:13:11
Speaker 4: Some people drive.

00:13:12
Speaker 2: What I drink. The last thing I want to do is go drink alone somewhere like the point for me of like having a glass of wine. It's like a moment, it's an experience. It's like sharing. Totally.

00:13:25
Speaker 1: I get what you mean camaraderie, Yes, totally, I completely get it. But I realized the first time that you were as sensitive as you are, which now I know I got a baby, my friend. The first time was when Andy Cohen asked me who would you trust the least with watching your kid? Now, let me be very very clear my cast, even though I don't connect with all of them, like, I believe that if I were to leave my daughter with a person on the cast, she would be very well taken care of, especially Kristin Doty, because you're great with children. I know that she would not only be loved, I know she'd be fed, and I know she'd have a fucking fun time. All right. But for me, it was like a lighthearted question, right, and when I think of Chris and Dotie and I love her so much, she is the carwashman.

00:14:13
Speaker 2: You know that was the inflatable ones.

00:14:15
Speaker 1: Okay, So I thought I was making a lighthearted joke about it, and I hurt your feelings. And I've apologized to you, but I want to tell you I'm so sorry that I hurt your feelings. Sometimes I'm sensitive, I know, and I'm gonna baby you more.

00:14:28
Speaker 2: I cried. I was like, oh, why would she say that? Like now, and I'm the oldest girl and I don't have a baby yet, and now everyone's gonna think that I'd make a bad mom.

00:14:40
Speaker 1: That was by the way, if it was Oprah who was asking me that question, I wouldn't have said that. But it was like, yeah, Andy Cohen, the shows like it makes light of the chaos. So I'm sorry that I did.

00:14:54
Speaker 2: That was like, you could have said, James Kennedy, do.

00:14:58
Speaker 1: You would you?

00:14:58
Speaker 3: I was gonna ask j would you if you had to leave ocean with James for five hours?

00:15:06
Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know.

00:15:10
Speaker 1: No, no, and not because I don't trust him. There's just so many things that could go wrong. You know, you leave a gate open, she could fall down the stairs if he smokes pot like and he lives a very fun single in the sense where he doesn't have children or a wife. But even if you're a great parent, like accidents happened, so I would I would just be nervous.

00:15:33
Speaker 2: I would like if ocean came to my apartment. I mean there's like nothing. I'm literally thinking, there's nothing sharp. I would Amazon immediately the outlet plug, cover things, and then just like bubble wrap some stuff.

00:15:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, there you go. And you gotta be like.

00:15:48
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be as a mom, like I want to be the mom that's like let them fall, let them experience it, like it's gonna be okay. But I literally feel like I'm gonna bubble wrap my entire house. You can just follow them around. Yeah.

00:16:00
Speaker 1: No. And by the way, compared to my friends, like they went all out when the kids were a certain age, Like now as they get a little bit older, things changed. You aren't worried about things that you may have.

00:16:12
Speaker 2: I was about to ask you that I been worried about because I obviously I have no notion since she was a teeny tiny toime. Yeah, newborn, But like when do you feel like it got easier, Like when you just went, oh, okay, I'm a mom, Now this is easy, Like she's developing, Like I don't have to be so freaked out all the time.

00:16:31
Speaker 1: Well, I remember the first time she bled, which I think you were there, Jackson Brittany's bow. I put her in like this little thing, you know, the circular thing where they can play with all the toys and like spin around. But she was so sure that she couldn't touch the bottom, and so Bo, being this sweet person that he is, he put books so that she could, you know.

00:16:52
Speaker 2: Touch like stuff.

00:16:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, boost, But when she was moving, she was her little toes were getting like paper cuts. And I pick her up and I have blood on my hand and I lost my fucking well did you know where it was from? At first? When I looked at her foot, I put two and two together.

00:17:10
Speaker 2: But it's just the moment scarier.

00:17:13
Speaker 1: It's like, yes, she's gonna fall. Like the other day, I see her baby shirt go flying across the floor and I heard a thud, and I was like, clearly she fell. She bumped her lip on her teeth and she's bleeding, and it's like, okay, she's fine, but you don't worry about the little falls anymore. You worry about Okay, she can fall, but like if she falls down the stairs, not great. I'm not consider her to bump that gets scary. I don't even know how we got into that.

00:17:36
Speaker 2: I don't know, You're just going down the rabbit.

00:17:39
Speaker 1: Who I would trust my child with, I would just like.

00:17:43
Speaker 2: All the time.

00:17:49
Speaker 1: The other night, so I had like a little get together for my mom's birthday. Keep in mind, Kristen. Kristen sent a group text after Thanksgiving letting us know that Luke was sick and so my mom got the RONA, Okay, you said it.

00:18:04
Speaker 2: He had cod He's never had it before, and he was like, there's no I mean, this is like he has like an immune system that is like steel. And he's like, there's no way. And it was like a little scratchy throat and a lot of sneezing for two days. But my sister recently had it as well. In her symptoms for the second time, it was sneezing and I'm like, maybe you just need to take a test.

00:18:27
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:18:27
Speaker 2: So he did, Yeah, and it was positive.

00:18:30
Speaker 3: He might be the last person I know that got it, because literally everyone I know got it.

00:18:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally he did.

00:18:37
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:18:38
Speaker 1: So she tells me this and when we plan, well not we. When I put together my mom's little birthday get together, I didn't invite Kristen because I knew the vid was circling in her household. Right, So I get a text from her asking and then my heart hurt for you again because I was like, damn it.

00:18:55
Speaker 2: Now I know I'm staying off Instagram. All my friends are there, cele.

00:19:01
Speaker 1: Now I know, I just need to throw you in the text so you know you're invited, and then you get to decline on your own.

00:19:07
Speaker 2: I don't know what it is, yeah right, I don't know what it is. Maybe it's like the show the canceling, the something. I don't know that, like I've suddenly become this like why am I not included? Like you can get a manicure with other friends, but why am I not included in certain things?

00:19:22
Speaker 3: Oh?

00:19:22
Speaker 2: Because I don't have a baby.

00:19:24
Speaker 3: Like, Oh, but that gets too That's that's a specific thing that happens a lot, especially in like small hometowns, hometowns I'm seeing even with my sister. You get to an age, your friends start having babies, your friends start getting married. All of a sudden, your friends stop inviting you places if you don't have a partner, or if you don't have a baby and likely I get that, or if you're not married even, and she's like, what the hell I mean, I don't really hang out with a ton of people.

00:19:52
Speaker 4: So I'm not finding that problem right now.

00:19:54
Speaker 3: But it gets to that age where I think that's a very big concern that happens.

00:19:58
Speaker 4: It seems to happen a little more with women.

00:20:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so that's interesting that does happen.

00:20:06
Speaker 1: I don't really care about now. I do care if I'm going with like a group of people who don't have kids and I have Ocean, and again, you know, I don't have her every single day. So for me, it's like I have to be very selective. If I'm going to go do something, it better be like something that's worth going. It has to be like a birthday or like you're having You're getting a cake at your AA meeting. Then I can leave my mom with Ocean for a few hours. Otherwise, like my kid is coming.

00:20:34
Speaker 2: Yeah you So I have to ask all the time.

00:20:36
Speaker 1: Correct, So I have to ask my friends who don't have kids, like is it cool if o comes, because it does change the dynamic of things, like I'm gonna be running around with dinner.

00:20:45
Speaker 2: Me because I'm like Jess, I don't hang out with that.

00:20:47
Speaker 3: People, do you feel though, But there's sometimes where especially visiting home, we're all to ask my friends to go out to dinner dinner, and if they say I'm gonna bring my baby and go.

00:20:56
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, not tonight, does it change No?

00:20:59
Speaker 2: I don't, yeah, nor the But you're.

00:21:03
Speaker 1: Also extremely close with Brittany and her kid is with like they don't. I don't. They're like superheroes with Jackson Britany. They have not a one ounce of help just the two of them.

00:21:15
Speaker 4: Brittany's mom is not.

00:21:16
Speaker 2: She lives in Kentucky, Kentucky.

00:21:18
Speaker 4: You always forget that. I think everyone's mom.

00:21:20
Speaker 2: Only two people have ever babysat crews that are not Brittany, not family, And it was our manager Ryan a long time ago. Jackson Brittany had something they like absolutely had to go to. And Ryan has a daughter who's like, you know, like in elementary school now, and they were like, okay, we can do this for like two hours when Cruz was baby. And then maybe like a month ago I got to watch Cruise. You did, Yeah, how to go what? He literally locked himself in his baby jail with his ipadab like never came out baby jail what is baby the baby jail? Like it the gate, the plastic gate thing like the gray and white one that we all have toys, And yes I do. But literally, Jared lips Comb and I were like sitting there watching Dancing with the Stars. I'm like begging Cruise to be my friend, like begging him to play with me, and he is as interested as like a dead fly. He's just like he's like hey, He's like uh. He'll walk out just to be like I want water or I'd be like, do you want your bottle? You want this? You want a snack? Cool? And he would just take whatever I gave him and go right back into baby jail with his iPad in his blanky for like three hours. I'm like Cruise, like, do you want to play?

00:22:32
Speaker 1: Given his money as a kid to have Kristen Jonie and Jared lips.

00:22:38
Speaker 2: Be my babysitter.

00:22:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, now that's a fucking vibe.

00:22:41
Speaker 4: Cruise has no idea what he missed out on.

00:22:44
Speaker 2: No, but I had Brittany feel like every three seconds like, how's he doing? Is everything okay? I'm like Brittany, literally he will not play with me. He's doing great. He's so independent. Now Yeah, he just wants to watch his Mickey Mouse and like sip on his is like apple juice.

00:23:01
Speaker 1: Or No, you're a great aunt. Yeah, you're an amazing aunt.

00:23:04
Speaker 2: So Mary like this, Well, your mom mostly watches Ocean. Like when I went to Brittany and this is Brittany, I'm gonna be there for two three hours max, right, Okay. I walk in. She has three bottles of milk in the fridge, two giant things of the lemonade that she mixes his water with. Okay, and then all these bottles of water. She's like, this is all here. I'm like, Brittany, you really think he's gonna drink like two gallons of lemonade and three bottles in the next two hours while you're gone.

00:23:31
Speaker 1: I don't know, how about I because you've washed Ocean a few times.

00:23:34
Speaker 2: Yes, you are over prepared.

00:23:36
Speaker 3: Yeah that you're like you're like to me because I used to nanny full time.

00:23:40
Speaker 4: I used to babysit. You're like a majority of the mothers.

00:23:43
Speaker 3: You're not too like this because I've babysat for women who are like and five thirty, you're gonna do this five forty five?

00:23:51
Speaker 4: That's on this happen seven exactly six.

00:23:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're like her milk's in the fridge. She's just so easy though, And I'm like, do I heat it up?

00:23:59
Speaker 4: And You're like, you're fine, very very chill.

00:24:02
Speaker 1: You're chill.

00:24:02
Speaker 4: You're like her milk's and the freage. You're good. If I have a question, you know, I'm gonna call her.

00:24:06
Speaker 1: Text you if she starts punching you in your face, I mean she's tired. Yeah, I love this. This is we go on tangents on this podcast. But back to why you sometimes feel left out, and you were saying it could be because maybe you're not on the show anymore. Maybe that triggered you. Is that something that still triggers you? Can you watch the show?

00:24:28
Speaker 2: I don't know if I will this season. I feel like I can last year last season, I watched two episodes. One I watched with Katie. I went over Katie's how she was like dying my hair for me and was it the finale I think or something. And I watched like one other episode and that was it. I was like, I'm good, Like I want to watch to support my friends that are on it, but like I just it's fomo. You have fomo but then at the same time, it's kind of like a like back and fourth thing because at the same time when I did what I did see didn't feel like the show I was on, so then it didn't. It's completely different.

00:25:07
Speaker 1: It's a completely different show. Yeah, you know, you can't lose even though we're all friends, Like, let's just call it what it is. We lost like key fucking players, right, Like you brought something that will never be able to replace Jack's. We will never be able to replace all day winners, right, all all day yeah OG's from the job. Yeah right, So we did have to go into the show, and for me personally, I was like, I'm going to be grateful that we get a season nine, but I'm definitely not banking that we will continue. Like this is going to be most likely a farewell because the show just looks different, and I don't know that the people that are left if they're able to carry a fucking show, you know, because a lot of people that are left they want a kumbay yah to break it to you. These folks don't want to watch you Kumbai. Yeah, I know, because I am an avid reality TV watcher and the second I see someone who is Switzerland. I'm like, bitch, you're boring. You need to be right.

00:26:10
Speaker 2: I don't know, and I don't care. Don't fly right. It's exactly it just doesn't.

00:26:14
Speaker 1: So you won't watch this season because you feel triggered by it.

00:26:19
Speaker 2: A little bit? Yeah, I mean I feel like I'll know from like either you or Katie or someone like or even Sina, like, oh, I should watch that episode, you know, like Sena's wedding. I was there, but I missed a lot of it. So I'm like, I'd like to see like some of the stuff that I missed, or just certain moments I'll probably look at. But to like sit there and watch as a whole season, Hell no, I couldn't do it, you know what.

00:26:47
Speaker 1: I so appreciate your honesty. It's so refreshing to have someone say like, I'm bummed, it hurts I can't fight watch.

00:26:59
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I'm not mad about it. I'm not like it's not all this anger anymore. And I'm not like, oh, fuck that show I got canceled. Fuck you know no, I'm like, I hope my friends still have a job next year. I hope that they can find a way to shift this. I mean obviously. What I've really hope is that vandr Pupkints canceled, we all have a brand new show together one day and we go back to being one big, happy family that fights butsfunctional family for the time being. I want you guys to all thrive and succeed and push your brands and everything that you're working on and using the show as a platform, because that's what this shit is all about. We didn't do this for shits and giggles. You know, you don't do that show because it's a great fucking time, you know, like, yeah, you get to hang out with your friends while filming and entertaining people, because that's what we're all really good at. At the end of the day.

00:27:52
Speaker 1: Well, we none of us moved out to LA to be on a reality TV show.

00:27:55
Speaker 2: We did not.

00:27:56
Speaker 3: But off of that, would you are you still open to to reality TV if there was an Okay.

00:28:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely.

00:28:03
Speaker 1: There will be a point in time where we're all old and watching our grandkids run around, or you know, have twelve dogs in our fabulous homes and you're sipping martinis. And I don't think I'll be sipping martini at that point in time. But maybe some perier where we do get to look back and we're gonna forget about all the other shit and go.

00:28:26
Speaker 2: We were on fucking TV. Yeah, what a time in our lives and we have this like video memory book.

00:28:33
Speaker 1: Yes, not always one that I want to.

00:28:36
Speaker 2: Know, minus all the falls, the drunk and crying, shitty moments, all pushing me.

00:28:43
Speaker 1: What a weird time in my life? You know that's what That fucking drunk What was that?

00:28:51
Speaker 2: No, it's just like so not you. It was like this hard. It was a hard outer cover to protect the sweet pea that lives within.

00:29:01
Speaker 1: I've never been in a physical fight. That's why when I pushed her, I was like did I just don't and I ran, I ran, I was like, I've got to get out of here before well she you not hidden? Because I don't know.

00:29:15
Speaker 4: I need to rewatch.

00:29:16
Speaker 2: What is this? What season?

00:29:17
Speaker 3: Did you push her?

00:29:18
Speaker 2: Second?

00:29:18
Speaker 1: For the very last episode, ka.

00:29:21
Speaker 2: And Tom's engaged. Right after Katie and Tom's engagement.

00:29:24
Speaker 1: They get engaged Jessica and we're at Lisa Vannerbump's house with Tom and Katie's family like grandparents, and Kristen and Stossy are giving a very heartfelt speech to that friends, they doesn't matter. Harvelt speech to their two friends who are now engaged who they've known forever. And my drunk ass, us, my drunk ass, can you wrap it up? What the fuck are you talking about? I've watched of everybody?

00:29:54
Speaker 4: Can you wrap it up?

00:29:56
Speaker 2: With? Like the finger curling in the air?

00:29:59
Speaker 1: And then because me again, I'm like, and then cameras shut down for us to now go film at sir. And I see a black car and I'm broke as a motherfucker, right. I see a black car roll up and I was like, I'm getting in it. This car has taking me to sir. And the guy says, are you Chris and Dody? And I go, yep, I get in. This bitch flies around. No, it was mortified you made me get out, and I was like, all right, I don't remember all We were all having a pretty fun time at vander Pump's house, but it was just like those moments. I know that we've I obviously have not been through what you've been through, but I hope that at some point in time we can look back. Because I can't even watch old episodes like I cringe and I feel very disgusted.

00:30:47
Speaker 4: Really do you watch old episodes?

00:30:50
Speaker 1: No, okay, no, no, I'll watch og of everyone else, I'll watch I'll watch old vander Pump episodes before I was on. I started that during COVID and I'm like, this show is gold, but to watch myself. No, we're gonna need a lot of.

00:31:04
Speaker 2: Years, a messy, messy, messy, messy messy.

00:31:08
Speaker 1: You know what's so strange is people like Dody and I. There's no in between. You've got the rider dies or people who want to light us on five. Yeah.

00:31:17
Speaker 2: It's no like she stays just nice. She's cool, like not at all. It's it's yeah. I kind of like that though, I do too, because for what I am.

00:31:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm not great, which is why we make great reality TV people, because you can't be great. You got to be black or white. You know, you got to have an opinion, which when you guys were no longer on the show, I felt like I had to put all your guys's hats on. I was like, I gotta bring Kristen Dody, I gotta pay homage to Jack's and be the bone collector and carrier, you know.

00:31:50
Speaker 2: And you really did kind of take the role of the me of like, wait, so you guys are fighting about what, let me insert myself to like have the true conversation because clearly you're not having that.

00:32:01
Speaker 4: Conversation like a media that's how not me.

00:32:04
Speaker 2: Now, it was like Tom and Katy are fighting, and Tom Katy don't want to talk about why they're fighting. So Kristen is going to insert herself in the middle of their marriage or relationship and just iron out all the wrinkles.

00:32:16
Speaker 1: Right because even though like we all want to coom buy a, this is a fucking TV show, so let's get it popp in.

00:32:22
Speaker 3: And from a from an outsider looking in, there is something very special and was something very special. It still is about that group of people about all of you sees.

00:32:34
Speaker 4: I'd say it was I guess season eight, season seven. That's a special group.

00:32:38
Speaker 3: There's like, you know, the reality TV producers, there's always like they're like, we need the magic, we need this, and that's what you might have. I mean, if I was a you know, genius reality TV producer, I would take that same group and go make something else, like you said, because there's something magic about that about your st Yeah.

00:32:59
Speaker 1: So now you're in this new we'll call it new season of life and you.

00:33:02
Speaker 2: Have a Luke? What is a luke? A luke? I would like a luke? Yeah, it. Luke's great. You've met him, You've spent time with him. He's great with ocean Luke. You know, it just sort of fell into my lap after my last breakup. We I talked about this on my first episode of my podcast, like we met or we became friends. At my girlfriend's wedding, we walked down the aisle together as like bridesmaid groomsman.

00:33:27
Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, it's like a movie.

00:33:29
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I basically once I was able to get off my phone and stop worrying about life in Los Angeles over that weekend in Colorado, but my phone was actually taken away from me, which is the best thing that could have happened.

00:33:40
Speaker 1: Who took your phone from you?

00:33:41
Speaker 2: Two of my friends and they're like you'll never know who has it but one of us, And I'm like, you know, what, what do I need it for? Like if there's an emergency, my mom knows who to call, Like that's all that matters right now. And then I made Luke essentially like my handler for the weekend, and like, so you're my groomsman, and you are going to just make sure that I have my ship together because you're kind, don't Yeah, And then we had sex behind a tent and it was great at the wedding.

00:34:07
Speaker 1: At the wedding.

00:34:09
Speaker 2: On the ranch, the first time, she says she.

00:34:15
Speaker 1: Standing up you like pushed up against like a wall or something.

00:34:19
Speaker 2: It was like behind a tent.

00:34:22
Speaker 1: So were you like bent over yeah, yeehaw, dog y style.

00:34:27
Speaker 2: Well, we were like in our outfits. Like he was like, oh, do you want to come grab the dogs? I'm super like emotional, like where are the dogs at the wedding? Parts over? The kids are gone? Can we bring the dogs to the reception? Like you know, six dogs on the ranch. So he's like, okay, let's go get the dogs. And then Jill there kissed me. Jill was there killed the German shepherd and then he kissed me and he said, you know, he's like I didn't think he would escalate that quickly. I was like, coud, you don't know me that well.

00:34:55
Speaker 1: Can you do the splits? Can I what did I know for a Can she do the splits? Split anyone anyone who can do splits? I know you're a bag of fun in bed.

00:35:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was a cheerleader and I'm still flexible. I'm like Tom Schwartz, but like a little like Tom Schwartz's body, but just like I move a lot more. You know what I mean?

00:35:17
Speaker 4: Is Tom Schwartz flexible?

00:35:19
Speaker 1: Is this what?

00:35:20
Speaker 2: Able? Long and lanky?

00:35:23
Speaker 4: Like the model bodies? That's what I call it. The long lanky. It's like my sister.

00:35:27
Speaker 2: It's like not really in control of it with like not great posture.

00:35:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the way your body is dody, like when you have like a little tank top on without a bra. Like the way your boobs sit, it's like very sexy.

00:35:40
Speaker 2: I hope it stays that way.

00:35:41
Speaker 3: You know.

00:35:42
Speaker 1: Like if I start curving my shoulders, I have shoulder blades that look like wings.

00:35:47
Speaker 2: Yeah they do.

00:35:48
Speaker 1: I love it, So I have to like push back or else I'm just gonna look kind of like gollum.

00:35:57
Speaker 2: I think it's so chic and like cute. It. I really like it.

00:36:02
Speaker 1: But you also liked my alf ear.

00:36:03
Speaker 2: That is true, And I know I I was so mad at her and she was going to pin her ears and you were and I'm like, don't do it. I love your ears.

00:36:10
Speaker 4: What do you think now?

00:36:11
Speaker 2: I mean, she's hot always, so I.

00:36:13
Speaker 1: Love you so much.

00:36:14
Speaker 4: Does Luke co host the podcast? Yeah, here's one thing. So your podcast, what's your podcast?

00:36:21
Speaker 2: All about sex and love and relationships and dating and just a really unfiltered, really raw like for me, it was, It's my favorite thing to talk about. Obviously, I wrote my book He's Making You Crazy, And I don't want to be pigeonholed sort of into that, oh hack your boyfriend's phone like I'm thirty nine now, like I've grown. However, I still am just so fascinated by the psychology behind why people make the decisions that they make, the choices that they make in their relationships. How open are people to talking about sex and the people that aren't, Because I firmly stand by if you can't talk about sex, you shouldn't having it. You should And I don't mean public wow, I don't mean you have to like air your laundry to everybody. But I just think if you can't communicate with your partner, like what you want, what you like, what you don't like, why why can't you just be honest about all that? It's such an intimate act to be, you know, intimate and.

00:37:20
Speaker 1: Have you always felt that way or is it has it been as you've gotten older, Because.

00:37:24
Speaker 2: As I've gotten older, for sure, I've always been pretty open about it, but just not like.

00:37:29
Speaker 1: Did you think did you think about sex as an intimate moment, because as I've gotten older.

00:37:35
Speaker 2: When I was younger, I did that. No, it was like it was for fun, yeah, right, one night's stand. Nobody now even now though, like when I especially like after my last relationship and being single, and like it is fine for me to sleep with people on a first date. I can do whatever the hell I want to. Does it make me a slut? It doesn't? Like, why are dudes allowed to do it and we're not. It's like that hympathy or slutshaming, which, by the way, well that's my body. And if I want to do it, then I will, and if I don't want too, then I don't.

00:38:05
Speaker 1: I love that you have a podcast that is talking about that, because as much as we sit here and go, women have moved leaps and bounds and like we can do what men do.

00:38:16
Speaker 2: No we can't.

00:38:17
Speaker 1: Right, I go out and I talk about sex and what would your daughter think? What would my daughter think about me having consensual sex? And me talking about it. Oh my god, I hope she'd feel empowered. That's what I hope she would.

00:38:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, like just being open and honest and vulnerable. And I just think it's so fucking interesting and like having Luke on respect because Luke, it was just when we became friends and he obviously doesn't live in California. We were We just started talking on the phone for like hours and hours and hours a day, and I don't even know the moment that it happened where we were talking about our own relationships, but like his past relationships and in full fucking detail and breaking down the psychology of everything, and like why he was emotionally unavailable when he was younger.

00:39:03
Speaker 1: Why how old is he?

00:39:05
Speaker 2: He's thirty one, he's still young, but like he's really able to say, like, oh, yeah, I had this one girlfriend who's on and off for four years, and essentially he's like at times, I was just kind of using her. I knew she was in love with me, but she helped me with my business, she helped me watch my dogs. She's really hot. We had great sex, and I basically used her. And for a man to like admit that he's not proud of it, but just yeah, that's what I did, and now I'm I'm aware of that, and I wouldn't treat someone like that again because I'm like, you can't call your ex crazy when that's what you were doing, not saying she's not crazy. I don't know the girl, I don't know any of these people, but you have to take into consideration the position you were putting her in totally. So that's why I'm like, you know what, I really need you on this podcast because I want to like paint these scenarios that we've gone through separately together or other people have been through, and then start bouncing off of each other because we share very similar points of view and like morals and ethics, but we have very different opinions about.

00:40:07
Speaker 1: Or you're you're a woman, he's a man. Yeah, you're going to have completely and he may be able to shed light correct because I will never pretend like we had Mike Johnson on the podcast and he's a sex coach. He was on the Bachelorette, but I was telling him what I crave in a relationship is transparency and consistency. So if you are going to be in and out, be in and out consistently. Okay, don't expect anything from me, because I've now created the boundary. You have been transparent letting me know you're going to pop in and out, and we're just fucking guess what. Great, I know what to expect exactly. But when you come into my space and you start trying to win over my heart and have me let my guard down, and then you expect me to flip the switch when you're ready to just have it be a fuck, I can't go there.

00:40:54
Speaker 2: No, hell no. It's like Luke and I've talked about the difference between ghosting or like leaving someone unread is what he calls it. If it's like I talked about this guy that I dated or not dated, but it like I was hooking up with or tried to hook up with whatever, and I'm like yeah, and then this guy was like all up my ass for like this many days and then flaked on me when we were supposed to hang out and then just like stop texting me back. And Luke's like, no, that's not really ghosting, though, it's like leaving you on red. And now I'm learning about this thing called bread crumbing, which is kind of what you're talking about. Okay, what is that where it's like I'm going to leave you these little crumbs, this little trail. I'm gonna give you everything you want and then I'm gonna flip this. Yeah, it's just like, oh now I'm not around anymore. Like, no, that doesn't fucking work for me. Just call a spade a spade, say it is what it is. If you just want to sleep together or like hang out casually, then just say that. I'm like, I'm thirty nine fucking years old.

00:41:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. And back in the day, I remember my friends would come to me, or I would not so much because that movie. He's just not that into you really resonating with me. So it back in the day, my friends would come to me and they'd say, he's not texting me back. I don't understand. And I was like, that's he doesn't need to tell you he's not interested. He is telling you he's not interested. But as I get older, I don't have time for that. You can't reel me in and then ghost because I'm a grown up and a mother and I need this thing called closure because I'm a communicator and I find that everything wrong in the world is because there's no community communication. There's no communication, and there's also no like we may not agree, but like we gotta respect. I respect that you're not interested anymore, right, but just like lay it out for me.

00:42:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, just be fucking honest and let's just move on and stop wasting precious time that we have on this goddamn earth.

00:42:50
Speaker 1: Right, because then I'm sitting here and I'm making up a fucking.

00:42:52
Speaker 2: Story in my head that's the story of my life. And I say it went all the time, because when you don't have answers to questions that you were asking bluntly, honestly, truly, vulnerably, you have no choice but to start making up these scenarios in your head that are probably so far from the truth totally. And then that's viral. And that's based on everything that you've gone through with your past people when you grew up like you, that is what you are conditioned to believe at this point. So guys, stop fucking around, Just be honest, Just be honest.

00:43:25
Speaker 1: And I would almost rather be alone forever then have someone come into my world who breadcrumbs me or is dishonoring.

00:43:34
Speaker 2: This tug of war with yours.

00:43:36
Speaker 1: Leave me alone, Like, I'm good on my own, dude, I don't need you to come in and give me anything. In fact, you're just like adding a lot of chaos into my.

00:43:44
Speaker 2: Life, chaos and stress and just unneeded bullshit. Like the way to my vagina is through my heart. Be a good dude, and like you're gonna get laid. Just be a good dude.

00:43:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm in the season. Vagina is my heart. Yeah, I ain't passing this good good around and just anybody. All right, there may be a new season where that is offered, but right now.

00:44:07
Speaker 2: Right, but that's but that's up to you.

00:44:09
Speaker 1: Yes, do you still consider yourself single? Or like, what what is happening with your co host? Is he just a co host?

00:44:16
Speaker 2: We haven't are I haven't talked about this in my Vagina co hosting.

00:44:23
Speaker 1: Okay, they're also we're all okay, so you're in a co hosting relationship.

00:44:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we haven't, Like I haven't. We literally haven't talked about this on the podcast yet. We've talked about sleeping together and all of that, but but relationship, yeah, we haven't. We have there's no label. But he's like okay with that?

00:44:42
Speaker 1: Are you okay with that too?

00:44:43
Speaker 2: It's my choice, okay, but like we're dating, Yeah.

00:44:46
Speaker 1: I love that. So you haven't even ventured into conversations about you don't live here, what's the game?

00:44:51
Speaker 2: No, But he just it's like he knows, I'm not sleeping with anyone else. I'm not going on dates with anyone else. So essentially I think it is what it is. But but he's fine with the fact that I haven't been quite ready to say, like I'm checking the box. You're my boyfriend like this.

00:45:07
Speaker 1: It's so strange because you talking about it, you're very much from an outside perspective in a relationship. But just that little conversation about the label really does change everything.

00:45:18
Speaker 2: It does for me because like the last relationship I was in, the last two relationships I was in, I was like, this is my person. Well, I'll say with Carter, I was like, this is my person forever, forever, forever, right, And I stand by that. I think if Carter and I didn't have the issues that we had, which were all aired on the show, I think we could have been something really great. That's the way that the world took us. I still have a lot of love, a lot of respect for him. He's in a happy relationship, we're friends. Then when I started dating my ex boyfriend, I put all of my eggs into that fucking basket. And in hindsight, I mean, I cared about it, and I'm not going to be a dick and say like fuck him, I never loved him or something. But in hindsight, it really was like I saw a goal and I wanted to achieve that goal, and that goal was I'm getting married, having a baby. I'm too old for this shit, selling my house and moving into his house. Like let you know, I quit smoking, thank god. But like that was really in the moment. It was more of a I need to please him, to prove to him that I'm ready to get pregnant, and I'm really glad that I did it for me at the end of the day. But it was just like, no matter all the fighting that he and I went through and all of the chaos and all the bullshit, I just kept going, It's okay, We're gonna be okay. Once we get pregnant, once we get married, everything's going to be okay. I'm going to be the person he wants me to be. And that was like a huge fucking mistake. So I'm very grateful that he broke up with me. I have to be, because it was like when I dated Tom Sandobal, even though I was really young, I would have stayed in that till the bitter fucking end, even though we were miserable.

00:47:01
Speaker 1: Do you think that was my misery?

00:47:04
Speaker 2: I think at times I have been and I think I'm finally like I've found my zenet and yeah, and like I when Luke and I became good friends, and just realizing like there is there are men out there who are not assholes.

00:47:20
Speaker 1: Who are normal, who are going to create like a safe space for you be your best right.

00:47:23
Speaker 2: And not to say that Luke and I have never gotten in an argument or like whatever before, because we have, and we've been on road trips together sixteen hours where we've ruffled each other's feathers. But just because one of us pops off, it doesn't mean like shit hit the fan, it's the end of the world for the rest of the day. Now we're going to fight for three days. It's like, take a breath, let's talk it out. Why did we have that moment? Apologize and move the fuck on. And it's an.

00:47:53
Speaker 1: Adult it's an adult relationship.

00:47:55
Speaker 2: It is so relaxing. It's like the elephant, and I just feel protected. I feel safe. I feel like my best interests are looked out for. I love all of it. And he's very patient and he knows that he knows all the shit. Like what is the Marilyn Monroe quote, like, you don't if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Absolutely, And I'm not one to be like, here's all my trauma, now you take that baggage. However, I am one to say there's a lot of shit you might find out about me based on the job that I used to have. So let me just lay it out for you. And if you want to run, run now.

00:48:31
Speaker 1: Well, he I feel like anybody who is with you, you me, any woman. I don't need to lay my baggage out and my trauma for you. As the relationship goes on, you're gonna see it right like, you're gonna we're gonna we're gonna have fights, we're gonna do all of these little things where I'm triggered, and you're gonna know, Okay, that is a trauma for her right, so.

00:48:52
Speaker 2: But exactly, but like he's he gets that and he's okay with that, just as like a normal human being should be as long as you going back to what you said, huge moment, have communication, as long as you can fucking talk about it, break it down, set boundaries like he's you know, like you always words are hard, take out the things on you, take things out on the people that are closest to you. That is just like a fact, right, It shouldn't really be that way, but it's the person that you feel the most connected with that you can complain shit, complain about shit too, And I think that in a healthy relationship. What I'm learning is that that is okay and it should feel safe and okay. But also then you kind of like I don't want to do that to him all the time. I now catch myself like taking a breath and going, do I really need to call him to tell him about this bullshit that happened to me the day, just to like rain on his parade.

00:49:47
Speaker 1: I'm going through the same thing right now where I'm literally stopping myself from like calling people to tell them about things, And I'm like, am I just giving this more life than it even means right, it's very intense. I'm actual really proud of us. Yeah, wow, it's all good. I know that we're all in this together.

00:50:04
Speaker 3: Man.

00:50:04
Speaker 2: Yes, we're evolving every day.

00:50:06
Speaker 1: I dig it. And I'm so happy that you came on my podcast.

00:50:09
Speaker 2: Here is the first time.

00:50:11
Speaker 1: It's the first time, and I'm I love it though, because your podcast it really is great. I've listened. I love the name. I love you have a very good voice. Not everyone is meant to put their voice onto a mic and directly into the ears. So good on you for that. Where can people listen to your podcast?

00:50:31
Speaker 2: You can listen to it anywhere that you listen to your podcasts, Spotify, Amazon, Apple, et cetera, et cetera. Sex, love, and what else matters.

00:50:39
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you with.

00:50:41
Speaker 2: You and you need to come on mind you tell.

00:50:43
Speaker 1: Me you you tell me when boo boo.

00:50:45
Speaker 2: I love you because I love my favorite thing about not my favorite thing about you, just everything else. But I love Justice Instagram and how she trolls her boyfriend and it just gives me so much life and that that that is so important in relationships too, is like trolling your significant other and like having that laugh and like that, like harmonious, like well play.

00:51:05
Speaker 3: I'm it's like I will say, I think a lot of people don't have the playfulness or they get to like a seriousness or like a we're adult, we're not going to act this way.

00:51:13
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I'm gonna be like this forever. He'll be like this forever.

00:51:15
Speaker 1: I'm envious in the best way possible, Yes, of your relationship with Kyle. And when you tell me you're like going home or you're to and Kyle's doing this, that and the other. You're making dinner, you're having Christmas wherever, I'm like, I want to be there. It just seems like good vibes.

00:51:31
Speaker 4: Well, either of you are more than welcome.

00:51:33
Speaker 2: When she bought the furniture and Kyle is like, oh my god, ess I died bought this patio furniture. And she's like, for our kind of small patio, which isn't mine's like half that size in my apartment now. But he was like, it's not gonna fit. It's not gonna fit. And she's like, well, if we just move it over a little bit this way now, the door shuts and it's just everything, just watching them just like at each other in like the cutest way possible. I'm like, oh my god, there's love stone in this world.

00:51:59
Speaker 1: I know anything is possible. Thank you. I love you guys so much. What a great episode And I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening to another episode of the Keep Them La La podcast. I will catch you next a week next week.