391 | When a Child Doesn't Want to Stop: Navigating Termination in CCPT
Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy
In this episode, I answer a question about preparing a child and family for termination in child-centered play therapy—especially when the child appears clinically ready, but the parent is still seeing concerns outside the playroom. I walk through how to assess readiness using the four termination criteria, including both clinical and environmental factors, and explain why it can feel unclear when progress is happening in most settings but not at home. In those cases, I emphasize that the issue may not be the child's readiness, but rather a relational dynamic within that specific environment.
I also discuss how to navigate the emotional and relational complexities of termination, particularly with children who have attachment needs and view the playroom as a primary source of safety. I explain why termination must be a gradual, intentional process—with clear communication, countdowns, and consistent language that preserves the child's sense of security. Finally, I introduce the idea of transitioning to CPRT when appropriate, allowing both the child and parent to continue their work in a way that strengthens the relationship. This episode is a reminder that termination is not an endpoint—it's a carefully guided transition that supports long-term growth.
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Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315537948 Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
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0 00:00:00,519 --> 00:00:04,280 You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks, 1 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,250 your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching. 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:08,760 Hi, 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:09,880 I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:10,710 The Kid Counselor. 5 00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,760 This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get 6 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,119 a master class in child-centered play therapy 7 00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,520 and practical support and application for your 8 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,180 work with children and their families. 9 00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:20,520 In today's episode, 10 00:00:20,559 --> 00:00:22,819 I'm answering a question from Laura in Texas. 11 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:24,590 About termination 12 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,350 and preparing a client for termination, 13 00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,530 knowing whether or not the child is ready. 14 00:00:29,799 --> 00:00:29,870 So, 15 00:00:29,889 --> 00:00:33,209 I think that's gonna be a really helpful question that we can tackle together. 16 00:00:33,549 --> 00:00:34,569 Before I dive in, 17 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,630 I wanted to do a really quick announcement. 18 00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:37,939 I don't typically do this, 19 00:00:38,189 --> 00:00:40,349 but because of a couple of circumstances, 20 00:00:40,430 --> 00:00:41,409 I have two 21 00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,979 spots open in my coaching program that begins next week, 22 00:00:45,069 --> 00:00:47,069 play therapy professional coaching program, 23 00:00:47,349 --> 00:00:48,770 26 week program, 24 00:00:49,389 --> 00:00:50,349 and if you 25 00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:53,150 have a burning desire and need 26 00:00:53,450 --> 00:00:56,790 to be one of the most highly trained CCPTs in the world, 27 00:00:57,409 --> 00:00:59,130 and you are all in CCPT. 28 00:00:59,279 --> 00:01:01,909 This isn't just something else you're adding to your resume. 29 00:01:02,209 --> 00:01:04,809 This isn't just what you're going to do with kids 8 and under, 30 00:01:04,849 --> 00:01:07,470 and then you're going to do other stuff with other populations. 31 00:01:07,849 --> 00:01:09,989 If you have come to the moment 32 00:01:10,199 --> 00:01:11,190 where you know 33 00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:12,639 in the depth of your soul, 34 00:01:12,930 --> 00:01:14,209 you are CCPT, 35 00:01:14,370 --> 00:01:15,800 you want to do this forever, 36 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:20,629 and you want to do it with the highest level of excellence and care for your kids. 37 00:01:22,199 --> 00:01:23,610 Schedule a discovery call with me, 38 00:01:23,690 --> 00:01:24,919 the link's in the shownotes. 39 00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:26,230 You can 40 00:01:26,809 --> 00:01:28,050 chat with me for 30 minutes. 41 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,589 We'll make sure that it's a good fit. 42 00:01:30,370 --> 00:01:32,769 This is a really exclusive coaching program, 43 00:01:32,970 --> 00:01:33,790 small groups. 44 00:01:34,290 --> 00:01:36,480 We spend time together each week live on a call. 45 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,089 And if you've been thinking about it or if you've been wanting it, 46 00:01:39,129 --> 00:01:40,989 or if you feel like you're not getting support 47 00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:42,000 from your colleagues, 48 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:43,040 from your supervisor, 49 00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,250 from your clinical director, 50 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:44,910 whatever, 51 00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:47,389 this may be what you've been waiting for, 52 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,849 and I've got two spots open, 53 00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:50,830 so it may be meant for you. 54 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:51,769 So, 55 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,629 check that out in the show notes if you want to book one. 56 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:54,339 And by the way, 57 00:01:54,419 --> 00:01:55,180 if you are like, 58 00:01:55,260 --> 00:01:55,339 well, 59 00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:55,620 gosh, 60 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:56,559 do I qualify? 61 00:01:56,779 --> 00:01:58,879 We can talk about that on the call. 62 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,220 But generally speaking, 63 00:02:00,309 --> 00:02:02,980 you need to have a pretty basic understanding of CCPT. 64 00:02:03,459 --> 00:02:04,019 And so, 65 00:02:04,099 --> 00:02:06,639 you need to have listened to at least 66 00:02:07,379 --> 00:02:07,900 some, 67 00:02:08,179 --> 00:02:08,758 hopefully, 68 00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,479 a lot of the podcast episodes in order. 69 00:02:11,940 --> 00:02:14,300 But if you text "CCPT" to 813-421-5437 70 00:02:14,899 --> 00:02:17,929 "CCPT" to 813-421-5437, 71 00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:19,259 that's also in the show notes. 72 00:02:19,330 --> 00:02:20,020 Don't write it down. 73 00:02:20,679 --> 00:02:21,660 You 74 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,419 will be able to get 75 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:27,419 recommended playlists from the podcast that you need to have listened to, 76 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:29,839 and that will help you prepare for the coaching program. 77 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:30,240 So, 78 00:02:30,559 --> 00:02:33,440 lots that we can provide to you in the way of information, 79 00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:34,479 scheduling a call, 80 00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:34,970 playlists, 81 00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:35,479 whatever. 82 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:36,199 So, 83 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:37,559 check that out if you're interested. 84 00:02:37,619 --> 00:02:38,740 I'd love to have you 85 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:39,559 and 86 00:02:39,679 --> 00:02:41,000 it might be meant for you. 87 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:41,479 So, 88 00:02:42,509 --> 00:02:44,639 Let's dive into Laura's question. 89 00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:48,229 And I think that one of the most challenging things that we have is 90 00:02:48,229 --> 00:02:50,720 when a kid does not want to stop coming to play with us. 91 00:02:51,149 --> 00:02:53,470 And this is a little bit of the question, 92 00:02:53,589 --> 00:02:55,509 so we'll definitely dive in together. 93 00:02:55,869 --> 00:02:56,289 However, 94 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:57,830 I want to pause for a sec, 95 00:02:57,949 --> 00:02:58,910 celebrate something. 96 00:02:59,770 --> 00:02:59,779 Because 97 00:03:00,169 --> 00:03:01,479 we all have this 98 00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:02,479 moment, 99 00:03:02,779 --> 00:03:05,880 and I think it's helpful for us to just celebrate that together. 100 00:03:06,179 --> 00:03:09,360 The very last line of the email that I got from Laura 101 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:10,369 says, 102 00:03:10,539 --> 00:03:11,279 side note, 103 00:03:11,660 --> 00:03:12,860 you converted me 104 00:03:13,139 --> 00:03:17,279 with the little emoji with the hat and the confetti and the little blower. 105 00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:18,490 It says, 106 00:03:18,539 --> 00:03:22,199 I've become singularly focused on using CCPT in the playroom. 107 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,360 And I'm so thrilled to hear that 108 00:03:24,619 --> 00:03:26,639 every single one of us has 109 00:03:27,029 --> 00:03:27,850 The moment 110 00:03:28,139 --> 00:03:28,649 where 111 00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:30,369 we were absolutely all in. 112 00:03:30,630 --> 00:03:32,130 It was a defining, 113 00:03:32,509 --> 00:03:33,800 clear moment 114 00:03:34,149 --> 00:03:36,449 where we knew we would never go back. 115 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,259 And we all have that story to tell. 116 00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:39,880 So 117 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:40,990 I'm so thrilled for you, 118 00:03:41,059 --> 00:03:41,339 Laura. 119 00:03:41,410 --> 00:03:42,500 Thank you for sharing that. 120 00:03:42,529 --> 00:03:44,679 And what a special memory 121 00:03:44,979 --> 00:03:47,199 and moment that we all carry with us. 122 00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:50,089 That very clear, 123 00:03:50,350 --> 00:03:51,850 meaningful decision 124 00:03:52,110 --> 00:03:52,699 where we were like, 125 00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:52,990 yep, 126 00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:53,589 this is, 127 00:03:53,669 --> 00:03:54,649 this is it for me 128 00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:56,389 and it's all I want to do forever. 129 00:03:56,589 --> 00:03:56,979 So, 130 00:03:57,309 --> 00:03:58,070 so excited. 131 00:03:58,429 --> 00:03:58,660 All right, 132 00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:03,089 let's dive into some of this question and then we will process together. 133 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,110 I have a client that seems to have gone 134 00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,330 through all the phases and stages of play therapy, 135 00:04:07,589 --> 00:04:09,809 and by what I see in the playroom is ready for termination. 136 00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:13,039 I can clearly define when she was in each stage 137 00:04:13,179 --> 00:04:15,600 and in the last couple of months has moved into mastery. 138 00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:19,200 She's playing in an age-appropriate way and is regulating in session, 139 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:22,559 pivoting to a new idea easily when something does not work out. 140 00:04:23,459 --> 00:04:26,339 I think it will be difficult to convince the client and her parents 141 00:04:26,579 --> 00:04:29,579 that she's ready to terminate because the parents are still experiencing 142 00:04:29,579 --> 00:04:32,119 things outside the session that they would like to see change. 143 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:35,049 I'm mostly convinced that what remains is related to 144 00:04:35,049 --> 00:04:37,170 her environment and not to her personal work. 145 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,500 She's adopted and struggles with attachment, 146 00:04:39,619 --> 00:04:40,570 feeling accepted, 147 00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,500 sensitive to being treated unfairly, 148 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:43,179 etc. 149 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,540 Her mother also has attachment difficulties, 150 00:04:45,579 --> 00:04:48,380 which I'm certain are at play here in the continued behaviors. 151 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:50,700 Mom needs to be doing her own individual 152 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,959 work and was until finances interrupted that temporarily. 153 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,899 I anticipate real pushback from the client as well, 154 00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:59,880 who views the playroom as her only really safe space 155 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:02,619 to feel fully and unconditionally loved and accepted. 156 00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:06,369 She recently told me she would like to go back to weekly sessions 157 00:05:06,549 --> 00:05:09,089 after her mom gets a job and their finances improve. 158 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:13,329 I'd love any advice you have on how to discuss termination in a situation like this. 159 00:05:14,559 --> 00:05:14,839 Thank you, 160 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:15,140 Laura, 161 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,010 for the question. 162 00:05:16,809 --> 00:05:18,190 Let's start with, 163 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:18,739 well, 164 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:21,899 you didn't indicate how many sessions you'd had with this girl. 165 00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:26,880 So that would be my only holdout in my answer because if you say 12, 166 00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:29,739 I would likely tell you you're not ready to terminate. 167 00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:31,179 If you say 35, 168 00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:31,940 I would say, 169 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:32,179 yes, 170 00:05:32,260 --> 00:05:32,980 I think you are. 171 00:05:33,109 --> 00:05:33,480 So, 172 00:05:33,739 --> 00:05:34,609 obviously, 173 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,920 number of sessions is going to be relevant as well. 174 00:05:37,390 --> 00:05:38,700 But without that information, 175 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:39,760 here are my thoughts. 176 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,540 We have termination criteria. 177 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,670 And we ask ourselves 4 questions. 178 00:05:45,809 --> 00:05:46,489 And so, 179 00:05:46,649 --> 00:05:47,149 if 180 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:48,649 you have asked those 4 questions, 181 00:05:48,799 --> 00:05:49,049 Laura, 182 00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:49,609 and you say, 183 00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:49,850 yes, 184 00:05:49,959 --> 00:05:51,600 I do believe this child is ready, 185 00:05:52,130 --> 00:05:53,950 then you can clinically justify 186 00:05:54,489 --> 00:05:56,000 wrapping up with a family, 187 00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:57,109 and you would share 188 00:05:57,329 --> 00:06:00,959 the reasons why you believe that she's ready to wrap up with parents. 189 00:06:01,329 --> 00:06:03,910 If you are hearing these 4 190 00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:05,720 termination criteria, 191 00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:06,040 question, 192 00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:07,209 comments and going, 193 00:06:07,329 --> 00:06:09,040 what the heck is she talking about? 194 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:10,630 You may be new to the podcast, 195 00:06:10,809 --> 00:06:11,640 so welcome. 196 00:06:11,850 --> 00:06:12,829 Really glad you're here. 197 00:06:13,209 --> 00:06:15,429 If this is your 1st or 3rd or 5th 198 00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:16,739 podcast episode, 199 00:06:17,369 --> 00:06:18,109 you have found 200 00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:21,359 a CCPT tribe and we're very glad to have you. 201 00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:22,130 However, 202 00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:24,390 that likely means that you did not start at the beginning. 203 00:06:24,489 --> 00:06:24,640 So, 204 00:06:24,649 --> 00:06:28,390 I would highly recommend you going back to episode 1 and listening in order. 205 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:33,049 It will really give you a foundation in CCPT kind of as a seminal training. 206 00:06:33,510 --> 00:06:35,380 As you are trying to master the model. 207 00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:39,190 And I've talked about termination criteria several times in other episodes. 208 00:06:39,429 --> 00:06:42,170 I will really quickly hit highlights for everyone, 209 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,350 just so that you have some semblance, 210 00:06:44,589 --> 00:06:48,220 but you would need to go back and listen so that you have more information about that. 211 00:06:48,510 --> 00:06:51,130 We have 2 clinical and 2 environmental. 212 00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:52,239 Essentially, 213 00:06:52,309 --> 00:06:53,549 we are looking at, 214 00:06:53,709 --> 00:06:55,769 are there no new themes emerging in play? 215 00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:58,190 And any persistent themes, 216 00:06:58,390 --> 00:07:00,230 there are no major shifts or changes. 217 00:07:01,109 --> 00:07:02,950 So those are going to be the clinical considerations. 218 00:07:03,019 --> 00:07:04,529 Environmental considerations 219 00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:05,070 are, 220 00:07:05,149 --> 00:07:08,220 do we have regulate regulation across all environments? 221 00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:09,739 And 222 00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:13,200 are the original presenting concerns reduced or resolved? 223 00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:14,660 So, 224 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,019 when we reach a point where we think, 225 00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:16,459 you know what, 226 00:07:16,739 --> 00:07:18,940 the child might be ready to wrap up, 227 00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:20,950 we're going to assess 228 00:07:21,059 --> 00:07:21,880 the child 229 00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,320 against those 4 230 00:07:23,619 --> 00:07:24,859 termination criteria. 231 00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:25,850 Now, 232 00:07:25,929 --> 00:07:26,739 in this scenario, 233 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,779 you're saying you think that what remains is related to her environment, 234 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:31,420 which one might argue, 235 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:31,739 OK, 236 00:07:31,859 --> 00:07:31,940 well, 237 00:07:32,029 --> 00:07:34,339 she doesn't have regulation across all environments. 238 00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:36,000 But here's where it gets 239 00:07:36,369 --> 00:07:36,799 a little 240 00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:37,779 muddy. 241 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:39,540 And I hate muddiness. 242 00:07:39,619 --> 00:07:40,859 I really try to be clear. 243 00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:43,250 I try to be so careful with what I say, 244 00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:44,619 so nothing gets misinterpreted. 245 00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:46,920 And I don't want this to seem contradictory. 246 00:07:47,579 --> 00:07:48,690 This is not a but. 247 00:07:48,829 --> 00:07:49,769 This is an and. 248 00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:50,170 So, 249 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,140 we have 4 250 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:53,399 diagnostic termination criteria 251 00:07:54,019 --> 00:07:55,529 that we're measuring the child against. 252 00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:56,230 Now, 253 00:07:56,339 --> 00:07:57,100 in this case, 254 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:57,660 you're saying, 255 00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:57,890 well, 256 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,760 it seems like the holdout is at home. 257 00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:00,500 All right, 258 00:08:00,579 --> 00:08:03,839 so that makes us pause because here is the additional layer. 259 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,769 If the holdout is one environment, 260 00:08:06,859 --> 00:08:08,519 meaning we have regulation 261 00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:09,440 at school. 262 00:08:10,149 --> 00:08:11,160 In the playroom, 263 00:08:11,429 --> 00:08:12,290 at church, 264 00:08:12,630 --> 00:08:13,429 with friends, 265 00:08:13,630 --> 00:08:14,809 extracurriculars, 266 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,000 everywhere else, 267 00:08:16,510 --> 00:08:17,609 child is regulated, 268 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,170 and then there are still issues at home. 269 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,989 That's going to lend itself toward its relational. 270 00:08:25,269 --> 00:08:26,619 Please hear what I'm saying. 271 00:08:27,410 --> 00:08:30,070 It is not that the child is not ready to wrap up, 272 00:08:30,529 --> 00:08:34,510 it's that there is a relational fracture in that specific environment. 273 00:08:35,337 --> 00:08:39,717 That the child cannot be fully regulated because the child 274 00:08:40,058 --> 00:08:41,799 cannot have the support 275 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,398 that he or she needs 276 00:08:43,818 --> 00:08:45,278 to remain regulated. 277 00:08:45,669 --> 00:08:46,489 It's a, 278 00:08:46,539 --> 00:08:47,258 it's a swirl. 279 00:08:47,299 --> 00:08:48,309 It's a cycle. 280 00:08:48,859 --> 00:08:50,479 So you go into 281 00:08:51,088 --> 00:08:53,359 an environment where there is not solid relationship. 282 00:08:54,869 --> 00:08:57,830 The child's not going to be able to implement new strategies. 283 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,520 That's just a natural dynamic. 284 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:02,809 So in this case, 285 00:09:02,929 --> 00:09:03,169 Laura, 286 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:06,330 I'm hearing it might make sense to transition to CPRT. 287 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:08,760 And here's why I think that, 288 00:09:09,159 --> 00:09:09,630 because 289 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,880 if the child has done the work that she needs to do, 290 00:09:13,239 --> 00:09:16,979 and the issue is because of mom's attachment and child's attachment 291 00:09:17,380 --> 00:09:19,099 and relationship rupture. 292 00:09:20,239 --> 00:09:21,090 CPRT 293 00:09:21,510 --> 00:09:23,280 is uniquely designed 294 00:09:23,659 --> 00:09:26,359 to build communication and trust 295 00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:27,359 and 296 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:28,719 relationship 297 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,359 between the parent and the child. 298 00:09:30,869 --> 00:09:33,369 And here would be how I would see that unfolding. 299 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:37,520 The child's going to continue to get play sessions and to continue to do her work. 300 00:09:38,489 --> 00:09:41,080 Mom is going to learn new strategies, 301 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,599 new philosophies, 302 00:09:42,890 --> 00:09:45,030 new ways to communicate and interact. 303 00:09:45,570 --> 00:09:47,169 So mom's getting parenting support, 304 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:48,710 child's getting therapy support, 305 00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,169 and then they come together and they work on their 306 00:09:51,169 --> 00:09:53,549 relationship and their 30 minute play sessions each week. 307 00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:56,179 So we kind of have trifecta 308 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:57,690 of work. 309 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:58,780 We know 310 00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:00,059 that a child 311 00:10:00,479 --> 00:10:01,179 becomes 312 00:10:01,599 --> 00:10:03,200 the change agent in the family. 313 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:04,690 We know that. 314 00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:07,960 So we know that only the child getting CCPT 315 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:11,099 is going to change the family and everyone therein. 316 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:12,640 However, 317 00:10:12,919 --> 00:10:15,229 when there is a relational break. 318 00:10:16,710 --> 00:10:20,919 One of the things that we need is for the parent to do their own work. 319 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,729 So this seems like it would be well suited for CPRT. 320 00:10:26,369 --> 00:10:27,099 And 321 00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:31,309 that would be an easy transition because you would just do your countdown. 322 00:10:31,539 --> 00:10:33,400 I'm going to play with you this many more times. 323 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,799 And then the parent going to take over and start playing with the child at home. 324 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,479 So that to me sounds like it would be a really helpful fit. 325 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:45,530 One of the things we need to be very careful about when we realize, 326 00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:45,809 OK, 327 00:10:45,919 --> 00:10:47,210 we are going to wrap up, 328 00:10:47,650 --> 00:10:49,690 just because it's a standard termination or 329 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,950 because we're transitioning to CPRT or whatever. 330 00:10:52,599 --> 00:10:53,859 It is a phase 331 00:10:54,859 --> 00:10:56,929 We are going to give the child a countdown. 332 00:10:57,219 --> 00:10:58,219 We're going to prepare them. 333 00:10:58,299 --> 00:10:59,500 I'm going to see you 5 more times, 334 00:10:59,599 --> 00:11:00,179 4 more times, 335 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,119 3 more times. 336 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:02,880 We're helping them 337 00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:04,119 recognize 338 00:11:04,609 --> 00:11:05,340 the closure. 339 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,960 We're giving them a happy and healthy goodbye. 340 00:11:08,039 --> 00:11:11,190 There are so many reasons why we actually make this into a process. 341 00:11:11,599 --> 00:11:12,270 This isn't just, 342 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:12,840 OK, 343 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:13,659 we're done. 344 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:14,239 Now, 345 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,520 here's the other consideration. 346 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:17,500 A child 347 00:11:17,799 --> 00:11:20,299 doesn't know why they were coming to see you in the first place. 348 00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:22,739 They better not 349 00:11:23,659 --> 00:11:23,900 I mean, 350 00:11:23,979 --> 00:11:24,330 if you've, 351 00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:25,690 if you've done your job, 352 00:11:25,739 --> 00:11:27,570 the child has no idea that 353 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:31,049 a parent sought you because they thought their child was quote, 354 00:11:31,059 --> 00:11:32,479 broken and needed to be fixed. 355 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,659 And so all a child knows, 356 00:11:35,830 --> 00:11:38,929 the only concept a child has is 357 00:11:39,309 --> 00:11:42,369 I get to go play with someone for an hour each week and I get to be in charge. 358 00:11:43,289 --> 00:11:45,229 That should be the only 359 00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:47,469 message that they've ever been told 360 00:11:47,719 --> 00:11:49,109 from parent or you 361 00:11:49,729 --> 00:11:50,890 about why they come to see you. 362 00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:52,429 And yes, 363 00:11:52,669 --> 00:11:53,590 sometimes they're going to ask, 364 00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:54,750 why do I even come here? 365 00:11:54,929 --> 00:11:55,789 What is this about? 366 00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:58,169 Why does my mom bring me here to play with you? 367 00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:01,190 And the only response we're ever going to have 368 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:01,890 is, 369 00:12:02,599 --> 00:12:04,179 Your mom thought that it would be. 370 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,450 Something you would like to be able to come and 371 00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:09,299 play and be in charge for an hour each week. 372 00:12:10,989 --> 00:12:12,059 That's the only message. 373 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:13,630 So therefore, 374 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:14,599 when you say, 375 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:15,909 I'm going to see you 5 more times, 376 00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:16,700 and the kid goes, 377 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:17,590 why? 378 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,770 Why do I have to stop coming to see you? 379 00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:23,159 It's never going to be 380 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:26,119 because you're no longer getting in trouble at school. 381 00:12:27,109 --> 00:12:30,830 Because you are not throwing tantrums every day anymore. 382 00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:35,000 Because you get along with your siblings now. 383 00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:35,830 Because 384 00:12:36,739 --> 00:12:38,119 your grades have improved, 385 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,000 there's always agenda and everyone else's 386 00:12:41,619 --> 00:12:42,380 perspective. 387 00:12:43,809 --> 00:12:46,179 That's never going to be the conversation we have with a child. 388 00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:49,349 So our response to that is. 389 00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:50,489 Well, 390 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:53,510 I'm only gonna see you this many more times, 391 00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:54,630 and then we're gonna take a break. 392 00:12:56,179 --> 00:12:57,840 But you can always come back and see me. 393 00:12:59,619 --> 00:13:02,510 Our phrase at the center is it's never a forever goodbye. 394 00:13:03,719 --> 00:13:06,340 And we make it very clear that it's an open door policy. 395 00:13:06,409 --> 00:13:07,770 If you need or want to come back, 396 00:13:07,809 --> 00:13:08,429 you can. 397 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,669 And we call those refreshers or boosters. 398 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,900 Sometimes they only need to come once. 399 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,989 It doesn't mean they're starting up weekly sessions again. 400 00:13:17,479 --> 00:13:20,789 Sometimes they really just need a reminder of what they've already learned. 401 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:22,299 Sometimes they want to 402 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:24,260 test and prove that you 403 00:13:24,799 --> 00:13:27,280 are still there and that if they want to come back and see you, 404 00:13:27,359 --> 00:13:29,419 you will in fact let them come back and see you. 405 00:13:31,109 --> 00:13:33,630 And so we make it clear you can always come back. 406 00:13:33,669 --> 00:13:34,750 It's not a forever goodbye. 407 00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:36,530 I'm just not going to schedule 408 00:13:36,789 --> 00:13:38,000 any more playtime 409 00:13:38,239 --> 00:13:39,609 after 5 more. 410 00:13:41,330 --> 00:13:43,380 We're just not going to have any more scheduled, 411 00:13:43,539 --> 00:13:45,049 is the really helpful phrase there. 412 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,619 Because then 413 00:13:47,919 --> 00:13:49,200 if they follow up with, 414 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:49,549 well, 415 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:50,140 why? 416 00:13:51,770 --> 00:13:53,109 The kids that don't want to leave, 417 00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:54,770 they're going to have a ton of questions. 418 00:13:54,890 --> 00:13:55,789 Be prepared for that. 419 00:13:56,429 --> 00:13:58,210 And you're going to give factual. 420 00:13:59,349 --> 00:14:00,809 Helpful answers. 421 00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:02,049 You don't avoid, 422 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,510 you don't return responsibility, 423 00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:03,750 oh, 424 00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:05,710 you're wondering why you're not going to be able to 425 00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:07,770 come see me after that and then say nothing. 426 00:14:08,719 --> 00:14:10,359 You're going to give an actual answer, 427 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,219 which is 428 00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:12,250 Well, 429 00:14:12,349 --> 00:14:13,950 kids don't play with me forever. 430 00:14:14,869 --> 00:14:17,229 Kids play with me for a while and then they stop, 431 00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:18,989 but they can always come back. 432 00:14:20,369 --> 00:14:20,619 OK, 433 00:14:20,719 --> 00:14:21,650 that is the truth. 434 00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:22,409 Although, 435 00:14:22,419 --> 00:14:22,580 look, 436 00:14:22,659 --> 00:14:22,859 I mean, 437 00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:24,140 there are kids that have made a bid. 438 00:14:24,219 --> 00:14:25,900 I'm going to see them until they're 18. 439 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,719 I'm going to see them until they get married. 440 00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:29,599 I'm going to see them for the rest of their lives. 441 00:14:30,419 --> 00:14:31,820 I had 10 my word, 442 00:14:31,859 --> 00:14:32,760 I'll never forget this. 443 00:14:33,099 --> 00:14:34,359 I had one that said, 444 00:14:35,099 --> 00:14:35,380 no, 445 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,119 I'm going to 446 00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:36,900 hang out with you. 447 00:14:37,059 --> 00:14:37,500 She was older, 448 00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:39,179 so she didn't call it play really, 449 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:39,859 but she was like, 450 00:14:40,059 --> 00:14:41,400 I'm going to hang out with you 451 00:14:41,859 --> 00:14:42,159 until 452 00:14:42,619 --> 00:14:43,260 I die, 453 00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,679 and then you're going to be my therapist in heaven. 454 00:14:47,789 --> 00:14:48,390 And I was like, 455 00:14:48,469 --> 00:14:51,070 that's predicated on the belief that I'm going to die first, 456 00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,309 which I probably will, 457 00:14:52,429 --> 00:14:54,609 but I just don't know how I feel about that. 458 00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:54,989 Anyway, 459 00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:57,090 it was like this really funny 460 00:14:57,710 --> 00:14:59,130 whole thing she had worked out 461 00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:01,270 that she was going to play with me her whole life until 462 00:15:01,270 --> 00:15:03,109 she died and then I would be her therapist in heaven. 463 00:15:03,219 --> 00:15:03,460 So, 464 00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:03,950 you know, 465 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:04,909 there are kids that are like, 466 00:15:04,989 --> 00:15:05,109 no, 467 00:15:05,179 --> 00:15:06,250 you're never getting rid of me. 468 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:07,510 So, 469 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:08,909 in that kind of scenario, 470 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,140 you have to have 471 00:15:10,559 --> 00:15:11,059 clear 472 00:15:11,159 --> 00:15:11,820 answers. 473 00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:15,500 We're only gonna see each other 4 more times for now. 474 00:15:16,429 --> 00:15:19,219 We're going to have 5 more scheduled and then we're going to take a break. 475 00:15:20,289 --> 00:15:21,429 Kids don't come forever. 476 00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:23,520 They play with me for a while and then they stop. 477 00:15:23,849 --> 00:15:26,669 These are all facts that we can share with kids that help 478 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,330 answer questions that they have. 479 00:15:29,479 --> 00:15:30,130 And 480 00:15:30,919 --> 00:15:32,099 it seems as though 481 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:33,789 she might, 482 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,820 because of attachment issues, 483 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,599 really need a very intentional termination process. 484 00:15:39,719 --> 00:15:40,429 In other words, 485 00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:41,919 kids with attachment issues, 486 00:15:42,039 --> 00:15:43,270 kids with trust issues, 487 00:15:43,599 --> 00:15:45,679 kids that really don't have 488 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,580 a happy and healthy home life, 489 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,190 they really cling 490 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,520 to CCPT and to the environment and to the relationship. 491 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:53,030 So, 492 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,940 you may want to be very, 493 00:15:56,059 --> 00:15:56,900 very clear. 494 00:15:57,609 --> 00:16:00,130 About all of these things with this particular client, 495 00:16:00,570 --> 00:16:01,109 because 496 00:16:01,729 --> 00:16:03,890 she's going to be grieving the loss of the relationship, 497 00:16:04,010 --> 00:16:06,130 she's going to be grieving the loss of the environment, 498 00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:09,169 she's going to be grieving the loss of the time that she gets 499 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,750 to spend with you and what she feels when she's with you. 500 00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:13,340 But 501 00:16:13,659 --> 00:16:15,559 kids have to learn that 502 00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:17,960 they take what they've learned with them. 503 00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,500 You're not the reason that she is happier. 504 00:16:20,739 --> 00:16:22,859 You're not the reason that she's more regulated. 505 00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:23,880 She's the reason, 506 00:16:24,419 --> 00:16:26,400 and they have to test and prove that. 507 00:16:26,859 --> 00:16:28,280 And they also have to 508 00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:30,280 experience happy and healthy 509 00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:31,210 goodbyes. 510 00:16:31,619 --> 00:16:34,739 They have to have closure in relationships to know what that feels like. 511 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:38,570 And that is one of the reasons why we're so careful 512 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,549 with that termination process. 513 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:41,669 So, 514 00:16:41,679 --> 00:16:41,900 Laura, 515 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,299 I hope that that is helpful. 516 00:16:43,359 --> 00:16:43,559 I mean, 517 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,150 obviously, 518 00:16:44,159 --> 00:16:46,440 we all deal with kids that don't want to stop, 519 00:16:46,559 --> 00:16:47,900 parents that don't want to stop. 520 00:16:48,309 --> 00:16:49,200 But in this case, 521 00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:50,710 if you can at all swing it, 522 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,059 I would absolutely promote CPRT. 523 00:16:54,599 --> 00:16:58,239 And if that is not going to be an option for whatever reason, 524 00:16:58,719 --> 00:17:01,239 then just be very intentional with your process. 525 00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:02,640 Termination is a process, 526 00:17:02,679 --> 00:17:03,179 y'all. 527 00:17:03,929 --> 00:17:05,969 It is not something that we do haphazardly. 528 00:17:06,010 --> 00:17:07,319 It's not something that we do, 529 00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:07,560 like, 530 00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:07,920 you know, 531 00:17:07,989 --> 00:17:08,800 off the cuff. 532 00:17:09,358 --> 00:17:11,819 We have very purposeful phrases 533 00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:13,030 and timeline, 534 00:17:13,050 --> 00:17:14,280 and we count down 535 00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:15,270 and we 536 00:17:15,489 --> 00:17:18,670 say very specific things with intention behind our words. 537 00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:23,449 There's a lot of thought that goes into termination to make it the 538 00:17:23,449 --> 00:17:26,829 most effective that it can be and the easiest for kids to navigate. 539 00:17:27,290 --> 00:17:27,358 So, 540 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,829 I'm really grateful for the question. 541 00:17:29,329 --> 00:17:30,229 Hope that was helpful. 542 00:17:30,290 --> 00:17:30,890 I love y'all. 543 00:17:30,969 --> 00:17:31,849 We'll talk again soon. 544 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:32,290 Bye. 545 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:37,079 Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks. 546 00:17:37,329 --> 00:17:39,209 For more episodes and resources, 547 00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:44,170 please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.