294 | CCPT Purism: Practicing CCPT in a Directive World

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing in the CCPT purism series.

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This will be the 2nd to last one.

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Next episode,

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we will be wrapping up the series.

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And I am grateful for all of you who have reached out to me about this.

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I'm glad it's been resonating.

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Before we dive in,

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very important updates.

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We now have a time and date for the next live podcast event.

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So on Friday,

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May 16th

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at 1:30 p.m. Eastern,

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so please adjust your time zones accordingly.

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I know a lot of you,

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not a lot,

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several of you missed the last live call because

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you were not aware of the time change.

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So make sure that you know that is 1:30 p.m. Eastern time

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and you'll need to calculate depending on where you are.

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Friday,

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May 16th at 1:30 p.m.

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and to RSVP for this,

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so I know how many are coming.

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I used to have a 100 cap.

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I actually increased my Zoom

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package or account or whatever.

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I don't know,

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above my pay grade,

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but I did whatever I'm supposed to do so that I can have up to 500 on the call.

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So there will be no cap,

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but we still need to know who's coming

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so that we have your contact info and then we

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can stay in touch with you and give you updates,

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etc.

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etc.

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So

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playtherapypodcast.com/live

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And again,

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Friday,

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May 16th at 1:30,

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we had a ton of people on that call last time and it was so much fun.

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I'm going to be sharing some thoughts at the beginning and then we'll do a live Q&A.

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And this is specifically for you all,

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my listeners,

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because my coaching and my Collective people

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get the Q&A with me all the time.

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But if you are a podcast listener and you do not have access to me on a regular basis,

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this is specifically for you.

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I want to put a face with a name with a location and have

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a chance to interact and answer questions and just spend a Friday together.

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So,

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May 16th at 1:30 Eastern,

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playtherapypodcast.com/live

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All right.

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So let's dive into

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the topic today.

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And today we're moving into practicing CCPT

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in a world that doesn't understand it.

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And

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we've covered a lot in the series,

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meaningfully,

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I hope

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so

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we've kind of gone

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from the roots,

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the development

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through the structure,

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the integrity of CCPT we've kind of gone in a progression

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and

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what's interesting is

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I have noticed that even when therapists believe in the model.

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The world around us

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makes it hard to practice it sometimes.

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And this is for a variety of reasons.

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We have external pressure we have misunderstanding,

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we have myths,

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we have

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systems in place that are

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just theoretically opposed

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to the child-centered model.

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So specifically today we're going to talk about how to stay committed to CCPT

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even when it doesn't fit the mold of most systems and the expectations

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of others.

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So,

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essentially kind of what I'd like to unpack is

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the real world tension

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that we're up against.

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And whether we

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label it as that,

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whether we would identify it as such,

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we all feel it.

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There is a tension and there is

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an undercurrent of disconnect.

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And staying faithful

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to a relational model.

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That is non-directive

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and that is child-centered.

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In a professional culture

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that rewards

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everything

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in a different direction.

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So,

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what are we always looking at in the way of rewards?

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Well,

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professionally,

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we want to have control.

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We want to have outcomes,

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we want to have speed.

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And all of those things fly in the face of CCPT.

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So of course there's going to be tension,

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and

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I want to just process this because

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I think if we feel

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collectively as a whole,

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that we are seen and validated and

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understood

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and re-centered

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in our conviction.

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Even if the world around us doesn't get it,

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I think we can cling to each other

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and find what we need to remain adherent to the model

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within our people,

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our tribe,

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if you will.

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So let's talk about some external pressures because I think we have to start there.

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What,

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what are the pressures that we're up against?

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What are we facing

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in the way of a professional culture

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that rewards those things that we just mentioned,

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control and outcomes and speed?

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Well,

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first and foremost,

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insurance.

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And then of course with insurance comes documentation.

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So,

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when we accept insurance,

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we have pressure for treatment planning.

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We have pressure for treatment goals.

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We have pressure for measurable outcomes.

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And then we have to document

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and have evidence that we're meeting all of these goals and objectives and plans.

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Well,

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another layer

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is that

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sometimes there's only short session approvals.

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In other words,

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you might have a 6, 8,

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12 session cap

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that insurance will agree to.

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So,

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if you are limited to 12 sessions,

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for example,

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they're expecting speed of treatment.

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And that doesn't align with the model.

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So,

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insurance is always going to err on the side of directive,

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always going to err on the side of quick.

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And it's going to err on the side of

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treatment goals,

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plans,

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and outcomes.

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And unfortunately,

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CCPT has been misunderstood

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and often it gets labeled as

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not evidence-based,

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not true.

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Too passive,

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not true,

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too lengthy,

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not true.

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But

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it flies up against

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the insurance goals,

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which are very different.

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Another source of external pressure is schools and or agencies.

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Because

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understandably so,

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especially in the schools,

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they want

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an immediate remedy

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for what's going on.

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Because we have to fix this behavior

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or the child's going to get suspended,

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the child's going to get expelled.

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The child is going to have to go into specialty classrooms.

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And

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teachers and administrators,

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faculty,

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staff,

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whomever,

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they often work from

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a very strategic model.

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In other words,

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everything has a strategy.

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And

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they want kids to learn coping skills,

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for example.

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They want kids to have directive activities that are

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going to help them manage things in the classroom.

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What to do when,

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right?

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So when you get angry,

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deep breathe.

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Well,

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kids aren't rational.

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So we're always going to come back to that,

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and

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that's not

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based on relationship.

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It's focusing on the problem,

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not the child,

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and it's expecting children to have developmental capacity to be cognitive

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and neither one of those are age appropriate.

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So we have the pressure from schools,

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obviously,

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and

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of course,

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they're going to

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want

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interventions and tools because

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that's the academic model.

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If someone needs to learn something,

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you teach it,

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you instruct it.

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And again,

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that's anti-theoretical to CCPT.

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Another source of pressure

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is

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parent expectations.

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What are you doing in there?

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Exactly?

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I mean,

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I know you say you're playing,

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but what,

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what are you actually doing?

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Are you talking to them about their anger?

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Have you brought up the fact that they're

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hitting their siblings and they need to stop?

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Can you teach him to,

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he,

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he really wants coping strategies.

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So if you would just talk to him about deep breathing maybe.

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We have

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parents that

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want things to change,

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understandably,

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and therefore they have expectations.

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Often unrealistic,

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often

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disaligned.

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So

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we're kind of fighting that battle too.

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We always have pressure for quick results from parents too,

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especially if they're

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urgent.

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If they're in a pretty severe situation,

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they want

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things to

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quickly change.

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And then they'll often say,

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well,

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can you give me some insight into

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how this is actually going to work?

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How is just playing with you going to fix their anxiety?

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And so parents misunderstandings and expectations

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can be another source of pressure.

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And then finally,

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colleague and or supervisor,

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push back.

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And gosh,

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do I hear this all the time.

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Oh my gosh,

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I,

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if I had a dime for every time someone

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talked to me about a colleague or a supervisor that

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just was not buying the CCPT

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at all,

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00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,479
I'd be rich.

289
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:43,320
There are so often scenarios where we have

290
00:09:43,609 --> 00:09:48,150
therapists or counselors or colleagues or even entire teams.

291
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,450
Sometimes we're in agencies or practices with entire teams.

292
00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:53,570
That just don't understand

293
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:54,750
CCPT.

294
00:09:55,059 --> 00:09:57,109
They just don't understand non-directivity.

295
00:09:58,330 --> 00:09:59,359
And then

296
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,400
we get questioned.

297
00:10:01,219 --> 00:10:02,239
We get criticized

298
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,250
We get berated sometimes.

299
00:10:07,099 --> 00:10:08,859
We get told to deviate from the model.

300
00:10:10,570 --> 00:10:13,549
And especially if we're in a supervisory relationship,

301
00:10:14,359 --> 00:10:15,390
that is tricky

302
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,799
because the nature of a supervisee supervisor

303
00:10:18,799 --> 00:10:21,119
is that the supervisee is supposed to concede

304
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,150
to the wisdom and knowledge and training and education of the supervisor.

305
00:10:25,630 --> 00:10:27,109
So when the supervisor says

306
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,469
you just need to do an activity with them.

307
00:10:31,739 --> 00:10:32,469
It's

308
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:35,710
very against everything we know about supervision.

309
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,489
To ignore them

310
00:10:38,859 --> 00:10:39,369
But

311
00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:41,090
if we don't ignore them,

312
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:43,010
then we're deviating from the model.

313
00:10:43,719 --> 00:10:46,539
And we're getting pressured into doing something that we don't believe in.

314
00:10:47,619 --> 00:10:48,669
And that can be very,

315
00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:49,580
very sticky

316
00:10:49,909 --> 00:10:50,549
to navigate.

317
00:10:51,789 --> 00:10:52,549
So,

318
00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:53,859
with all of that pressure.

319
00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:56,460
What happens when we compromise?

320
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:57,440
Well,

321
00:10:57,559 --> 00:10:58,630
we've talked about this a lot,

322
00:10:58,719 --> 00:10:59,239
but

323
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:00,869
I'll hit some highlights for you,

324
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,039
just as a recap.

325
00:11:02,479 --> 00:11:04,229
The moment we shift.

326
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:06,609
Because of pressure

327
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,140
toward the external expectations,

328
00:11:09,539 --> 00:11:10,609
we dilute the model.

329
00:11:12,219 --> 00:11:13,849
We're no longer adherent to the model.

330
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,869
We no longer have proven efficacy of the model.

331
00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:19,440
And here's what happens.

332
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,530
We then are managing the child

333
00:11:22,929 --> 00:11:23,809
instead of trusting them.

334
00:11:26,799 --> 00:11:29,590
children don't need to be managed just like kids just don't,

335
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:30,309
oh my gosh,

336
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:32,190
children don't need to be managed,

337
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,679
just like kids don't need to be fixed.

338
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:39,520
We're not ever intending to manage kids.

339
00:11:39,969 --> 00:11:40,729
We trust them.

340
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:42,979
And we

341
00:11:43,140 --> 00:11:44,450
make it about them

342
00:11:45,179 --> 00:11:46,770
because it's about the relationship.

343
00:11:47,919 --> 00:11:50,739
And if the child is no longer leading sessions.

344
00:11:51,539 --> 00:11:53,770
Then the play no longer transforms them.

345
00:11:55,989 --> 00:11:57,500
Because now all of a sudden,

346
00:11:57,909 --> 00:12:01,020
they are not freely and autonomously

347
00:12:01,469 --> 00:12:02,979
playing the things that they need to,

348
00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:05,159
so that they can heal and self-actualize.

349
00:12:06,049 --> 00:12:08,570
As soon as we take over and we're leading,

350
00:12:08,849 --> 00:12:11,840
any play the child's doing is no longer transformative.

351
00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:14,570
Because the child isn't directing it.

352
00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:17,960
And if any of those things happen,

353
00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:20,270
and that essentially means that we compromised.

354
00:12:21,489 --> 00:12:22,599
We end up burned out.

355
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,000
And we have internal dissonance.

356
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:28,359
Related aside,

357
00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:29,429
random aside.

358
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:32,059
I don't know how many times I've mentioned this,

359
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,530
but I was in the International Baccalaureate program in high school.

360
00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:38,440
And we had a class called Theory of Knowledge.

361
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,950
And Doctor Yarbrough was my teacher.

362
00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:43,979
He

363
00:12:44,809 --> 00:12:46,000
was an interesting chap.

364
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:46,729
Anyway,

365
00:12:47,489 --> 00:12:50,219
he taught theory of knowledge in high school with a PhD,

366
00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:54,169
so that probably gives you a really accurate picture of Doctor Yarborough.

367
00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:56,469
And

368
00:12:56,739 --> 00:12:57,890
I will never forget,

369
00:12:57,940 --> 00:12:58,650
we were

370
00:12:58,859 --> 00:12:59,549
in this course,

371
00:12:59,619 --> 00:13:00,049
which was,

372
00:13:00,059 --> 00:13:00,260
I mean,

373
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,049
theory of knowledge,

374
00:13:01,219 --> 00:13:02,190
it's deep

375
00:13:02,599 --> 00:13:04,210
philosophical pondering,

376
00:13:04,260 --> 00:13:04,619
and you're,

377
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:04,820
you know,

378
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:05,859
like a junior in high school,

379
00:13:05,969 --> 00:13:06,130
like,

380
00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:07,650
how does your brain even conceive of it?

381
00:13:07,659 --> 00:13:08,450
It didn't really.

382
00:13:08,739 --> 00:13:12,169
But I will never forget him bringing up the notion of cognitive dissonance.

383
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:14,700
And

384
00:13:14,969 --> 00:13:17,630
he is trying to explain this concept.

385
00:13:18,570 --> 00:13:19,520
And says,

386
00:13:19,809 --> 00:13:20,049
OK,

387
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:20,960
what is that on the wall?

388
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,320
And he points at the clock.

389
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:23,400
You know,

390
00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:25,500
I think most of us probably said a clock,

391
00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:26,520
and he was like,

392
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,039
but is it a clock?

393
00:13:28,450 --> 00:13:30,179
Or is it a perception of a clock?

394
00:13:30,989 --> 00:13:33,000
And gets into this whole thing about,

395
00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:33,739
well,

396
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,669
it might not be a clock to someone else in a different culture,

397
00:13:36,739 --> 00:13:38,500
or what if you've never seen a clock before?

398
00:13:38,539 --> 00:13:39,900
What if you don't know the word for a clock?

399
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:40,219
And

400
00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:40,700
anyway,

401
00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:44,940
it was just way too deep for my 16, 17 year old brain.

402
00:13:45,619 --> 00:13:48,099
But I remember the idea of cognitive dissonance,

403
00:13:48,390 --> 00:13:50,979
and that's one of the few things that I took away from theory of knowledge.

404
00:13:51,909 --> 00:13:54,549
And I was reading a book recently and it actually

405
00:13:54,549 --> 00:13:57,349
reminded me of the cognitive dissonance talk from Dr.

406
00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:58,539
Yarborough's class,

407
00:13:59,030 --> 00:13:59,580
because

408
00:13:59,909 --> 00:14:00,859
in the book,

409
00:14:01,229 --> 00:14:01,700
they said,

410
00:14:01,789 --> 00:14:02,190
what,

411
00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:04,039
what way do the hands turn in a clock?

412
00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:07,429
And the person said clockwise,

413
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:08,429
and they said,

414
00:14:08,549 --> 00:14:09,739
not if you're in the clock.

415
00:14:11,099 --> 00:14:11,549
So anyway,

416
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,150
just different perspective on things,

417
00:14:13,229 --> 00:14:13,640
right?

418
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,109
And so when we think about if we compromise.

419
00:14:17,929 --> 00:14:19,950
It creates dissonance for us

420
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:21,390
internal dissonance,

421
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:22,190
cognitive dissonance,

422
00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:23,500
whatever you want to label it.

423
00:14:23,809 --> 00:14:24,859
There's a dissonance.

424
00:14:25,229 --> 00:14:26,869
All of a sudden we're confused.

425
00:14:27,229 --> 00:14:29,020
We don't know what truth is anymore.

426
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,340
We don't know what to believe in anymore.

427
00:14:31,710 --> 00:14:33,679
We don't know what we're adherent to anymore

428
00:14:34,109 --> 00:14:36,859
because we've compromised and no wonder we get burned out.

429
00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:39,000
No wonder we question everything.

430
00:14:39,119 --> 00:14:40,630
No wonder we second-guess things.

431
00:14:40,799 --> 00:14:44,349
No wonder we start to add in other things or take away things or

432
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:45,400
splice things in.

433
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:45,750
Why?

434
00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:47,200
Because we have dissonance.

435
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,390
We're not even sure

436
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:49,750
about anything anymore.

437
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:50,880
This,

438
00:14:50,919 --> 00:14:52,700
that's what happens when we compromise.

439
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:53,809
And I get it,

440
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:55,489
we have these external pressures,

441
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,030
and they kind of push us toward compromise,

442
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,520
push us toward concession.

443
00:15:01,429 --> 00:15:06,030
And so this topic today specifically is about holding the line.

444
00:15:07,159 --> 00:15:10,880
And really diligently digging your heels in and remaining adherent.

445
00:15:10,919 --> 00:15:11,719
So what does that look like?

446
00:15:11,799 --> 00:15:12,190
Well,

447
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:12,869
first,

448
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,679
I think you have to use language wisely.

449
00:15:16,479 --> 00:15:19,650
We spend so much time in the coaching program talking about articulation.

450
00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:20,280
Why?

451
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,989
Because we have to be able to communicate what we're doing,

452
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,780
even if others can't see it,

453
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,690
even if others don't understand it,

454
00:15:27,859 --> 00:15:29,979
even if it never sinks into anybody,

455
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:32,409
we have to be able to articulate what we're doing.

456
00:15:33,590 --> 00:15:36,619
And we also have to explain the model

457
00:15:37,159 --> 00:15:38,669
in a parent friendly.

458
00:15:39,719 --> 00:15:40,989
Teacher friendly,

459
00:15:41,119 --> 00:15:42,599
pediatrician friendly,

460
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,070
fill in the person friendly language.

461
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,440
We fail miserably often.

462
00:15:50,369 --> 00:15:52,010
At explaining what we do and why.

463
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,710
And that's why my coaching graduates

464
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:56,309
are

465
00:15:56,679 --> 00:15:58,039
so well trained

466
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,390
in CCPT not only clinically

467
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,549
but practically because

468
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,169
they know how to answer questions,

469
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,510
they know how to communicate,

470
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,429
they can confidently articulate

471
00:16:07,679 --> 00:16:08,909
what they're doing and why

472
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,000
in any scenario we have to be able to do that.

473
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,789
That helps us hold the line.

474
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:14,840
Secondly,

475
00:16:15,549 --> 00:16:16,059
Big one,

476
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:16,440
gosh,

477
00:16:16,570 --> 00:16:18,809
we have to redefine progress,

478
00:16:19,099 --> 00:16:21,010
and I'm air quoting progress because

479
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:23,859
That's a whole other episode.

480
00:16:24,429 --> 00:16:25,000
But

481
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:25,950
look,

482
00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,179
we have to remind other people

483
00:16:28,510 --> 00:16:28,940
that

484
00:16:29,409 --> 00:16:32,150
sometimes growth is invisible in the early stages,

485
00:16:32,309 --> 00:16:33,340
doesn't mean that

486
00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:34,809
growth isn't being

487
00:16:35,469 --> 00:16:35,820
experienced,

488
00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:37,510
doesn't mean that growth isn't happening.

489
00:16:38,409 --> 00:16:40,369
It's just that sometimes it's invisible.

490
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:42,429
And even if we see it,

491
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:43,780
maybe parents don't see it yet,

492
00:16:43,809 --> 00:16:45,150
maybe teachers don't see it yet.

493
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,520
We have to redefine progress,

494
00:16:49,099 --> 00:16:51,099
because even if a child is making progress,

495
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:54,450
sometimes it's hard to notice or even have evidence of it.

496
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:55,530
Also,

497
00:16:55,739 --> 00:16:56,739
it's not linear.

498
00:16:58,179 --> 00:16:58,400
We,

499
00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:01,380
we can't think about an X Y axis and say up

500
00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:04,348
and right is the way that a child moves in therapy.

501
00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:05,209
They don't.

502
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:08,780
do they go up and right in a general

503
00:17:09,618 --> 00:17:10,098
Path,

504
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:10,729
sure.

505
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:12,949
But it's more like

506
00:17:13,319 --> 00:17:15,199
a wild roller coaster with

507
00:17:15,589 --> 00:17:18,839
twists and turns and loop de loops and sliding backwards for

508
00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:21,469
a while and barrel rolling and all kinds of other things.

509
00:17:21,598 --> 00:17:21,810
We're,

510
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,709
we're eventually getting up and right,

511
00:17:24,199 --> 00:17:25,589
but it's certainly not linear,

512
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,319
certainly not from point A to point B in a straight line.

513
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,170
And furthermore,

514
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,439
I think it's important to help

515
00:17:31,439 --> 00:17:34,579
people understand that deeper change happens beneath

516
00:17:35,099 --> 00:17:36,420
behavior that we see.

517
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,750
Change is happening beneath behavior.

518
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:44,150
We can't look at behavior as the only indication of whether or not we have progress.

519
00:17:45,859 --> 00:17:46,250
Third,

520
00:17:46,339 --> 00:17:47,969
I think we have to be clear.

521
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:50,130
Be really,

522
00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:51,719
really intentional

523
00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:52,719
and clear.

524
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,430
In your meetings with parents.

525
00:17:56,540 --> 00:17:58,329
Set expectations from the start.

526
00:17:59,349 --> 00:18:00,790
One of my favorite phrases,

527
00:18:01,229 --> 00:18:02,079
clear as kind.

528
00:18:03,189 --> 00:18:05,959
You have to have clarity in what you're sharing.

529
00:18:06,239 --> 00:18:07,949
You have to set expectations.

530
00:18:08,479 --> 00:18:11,150
You have to be able to articulate the model.

531
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,280
And from the get-go,

532
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,430
they have to know

533
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,150
this is non-directive.

534
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,859
The child is in charge.

535
00:18:19,469 --> 00:18:21,819
I do not teach during sessions.

536
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:23,670
I'm not going to direct anything.

537
00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:25,050
I don't have an agenda.

538
00:18:26,449 --> 00:18:28,959
Change will happen as the child expresses

539
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,839
and resolves emotional issues.

540
00:18:30,849 --> 00:18:32,410
It will be at their pace.

541
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:37,069
We have to make it clear what we will and will not do.

542
00:18:37,939 --> 00:18:40,270
Along the lines of adherence to the model.

543
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:42,319
And then

544
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,550
another piece of the puzzle,

545
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:45,839
how do we hold the line?

546
00:18:46,479 --> 00:18:48,630
We have to find supportive community

547
00:18:49,199 --> 00:18:49,750
and

548
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,569
obviously you have because you're listening to me right now.

549
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,829
So I hope,

550
00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:54,319
literally,

551
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,829
I hope and pray daily

552
00:18:56,319 --> 00:18:59,560
that you all feel that this is a supportive community for you.

553
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:01,800
And

554
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,770
Collective people and coaching people to an even a higher degree,

555
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,569
you found supportive community.

556
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,709
This work is so lonely

557
00:19:09,939 --> 00:19:11,739
if you are the only CCPT.

558
00:19:12,709 --> 00:19:13,800
It's isolating,

559
00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:14,709
it's lonely,

560
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:15,800
it's draining,

561
00:19:16,369 --> 00:19:17,800
you're swimming upstream.

562
00:19:18,439 --> 00:19:19,040
It's hard.

563
00:19:20,189 --> 00:19:22,819
Stay connected to others who understand,

564
00:19:23,069 --> 00:19:23,910
who get it,

565
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:25,300
who resonate,

566
00:19:25,709 --> 00:19:27,780
who will reinforce your convictions.

567
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:29,500
And

568
00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,099
we mentioned this before,

569
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:32,020
but

570
00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:33,209
CCPT

571
00:19:33,709 --> 00:19:34,589
is a mindset.

572
00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:37,680
It's not just a model,

573
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:38,430
it is a model,

574
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:39,020
of course,

575
00:19:39,709 --> 00:19:40,780
but it's a mindset.

576
00:19:41,550 --> 00:19:42,130
And

577
00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:44,819
A really interesting thought,

578
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,099
mindset needs community.

579
00:19:49,650 --> 00:19:51,290
Mindset is so important.

580
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,449
It has to live within community.

581
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,739
So make sure that you have a supportive community,

582
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,380
and I hope this is part of that.

583
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:06,189
But you might need to pursue that on a local level or a virtual level

584
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,469
or through the Collective or whatever you can do

585
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:12,479
to surround yourself with other CCPTs who are like-minded.

586
00:20:13,869 --> 00:20:14,540
So,

587
00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:15,239
really quickly,

588
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,579
let's just briefly talk through a recommitment.

589
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:19,790
Or

590
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:20,560
maybe a

591
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,319
a consistent commitment.

592
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:24,900
We know CCPT works,

593
00:20:25,270 --> 00:20:25,739
but

594
00:20:25,949 --> 00:20:26,979
we have to stay in it.

595
00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:28,979
We have to adhere.

596
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,359
We have to be diligent.

597
00:20:31,209 --> 00:20:31,930
And

598
00:20:32,170 --> 00:20:33,369
I don't really like this term,

599
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:34,969
but it's what popped into my head,

600
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,800
so just bear with me for a sec.

601
00:20:37,329 --> 00:20:38,469
You can't sell out.

602
00:20:40,449 --> 00:20:42,369
And often if we do.

603
00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:44,069
If we compromise,

604
00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:44,750
if we concede,

605
00:20:44,790 --> 00:20:46,099
if we sell out,

606
00:20:46,469 --> 00:20:48,739
it's to make someone else more comfortable.

607
00:20:49,829 --> 00:20:50,530
And

608
00:20:50,829 --> 00:20:51,619
strangely enough,

609
00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:53,579
it never makes us more comfortable.

610
00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:56,500
I've had so many therapists say to me,

611
00:20:56,849 --> 00:20:57,089
actually,

612
00:20:57,130 --> 00:21:00,000
I just had a discovery call last week about the coaching program,

613
00:21:00,369 --> 00:21:00,869
and

614
00:21:01,089 --> 00:21:01,959
she's in Ireland,

615
00:21:02,209 --> 00:21:03,000
and she said,

616
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:03,719
quote,

617
00:21:04,089 --> 00:21:06,199
my head was a mess,

618
00:21:06,449 --> 00:21:07,079
end quote.

619
00:21:07,890 --> 00:21:10,599
Because I had been trained in an integrative approach.

620
00:21:11,589 --> 00:21:12,790
And my model

621
00:21:13,079 --> 00:21:14,869
was to start child-centered

622
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,390
and then do,

623
00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:17,760
and I don't even know,

624
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,400
she rattled off a list of theoretical models.

625
00:21:20,589 --> 00:21:21,790
And then I was supposed to do Gestalt,

626
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,079
and then I was supposed to do Adlerian,

627
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:24,959
and then I was supposed to do Jungian and then I was then I

628
00:21:24,959 --> 00:21:27,449
was supposed to do some CBT and then I was supposed to do.

629
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:28,560
And,

630
00:21:28,569 --> 00:21:29,119
and I said,

631
00:21:29,209 --> 00:21:31,040
I'm exhausted listening to you

632
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,199
rattle off that list,

633
00:21:32,209 --> 00:21:32,910
and she said,

634
00:21:32,969 --> 00:21:33,199
quote,

635
00:21:33,290 --> 00:21:35,000
my head was a mess,

636
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:35,719
end quote.

637
00:21:37,790 --> 00:21:38,709
And

638
00:21:38,959 --> 00:21:40,430
if we sell out,

639
00:21:40,839 --> 00:21:43,030
we are never on we are never comfortable,

640
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:46,310
and it's an attempt to make other people comfortable

641
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,030
and it rarely works.

642
00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:49,380
Rarely

643
00:21:50,979 --> 00:21:51,930
Try to make everyone happy,

644
00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:53,010
you'll make no one happy.

645
00:21:54,310 --> 00:21:56,699
Stay in the model because we know it works,

646
00:21:56,910 --> 00:21:59,020
and of course there's pressure to conform

647
00:21:59,630 --> 00:22:01,469
and the more pressure we're experiencing,

648
00:22:01,510 --> 00:22:03,500
the more important it is to stay anchored.

649
00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:05,770
So,

650
00:22:05,979 --> 00:22:07,650
let me encourage you for a second

651
00:22:07,819 --> 00:22:08,689
as we wrap up.

652
00:22:09,599 --> 00:22:10,719
You're not strange.

653
00:22:12,199 --> 00:22:13,160
You're not weird.

654
00:22:14,109 --> 00:22:16,050
You're not behind the times.

655
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:17,750
You're not

656
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:18,670
rigid.

657
00:22:19,770 --> 00:22:20,589
You're not

658
00:22:22,060 --> 00:22:23,770
bucking the system.

659
00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:26,310
You're not anti-authority,

660
00:22:26,939 --> 00:22:28,449
you're not trying to

661
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,329
make a name for yourself.

662
00:22:31,670 --> 00:22:32,680
You're courageous.

663
00:22:33,630 --> 00:22:34,599
And you're brave

664
00:22:36,420 --> 00:22:39,260
And you're deeply entrenched in a model that you know works.

665
00:22:40,209 --> 00:22:43,209
And even if the model is not understood by everyone.

666
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,680
Everyone doesn't matter.

667
00:22:46,489 --> 00:22:47,719
The child feels it.

668
00:22:48,829 --> 00:22:50,569
The child experiences it.

669
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:52,729
The child knows it.

670
00:22:54,109 --> 00:22:55,380
That's what it's about anyway.

671
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:57,479
So,

672
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,199
you're not any of the things that you've

673
00:22:59,199 --> 00:23:01,439
maybe thought or you've had other people imply

674
00:23:01,439 --> 00:23:04,390
or maybe even they've been so bold as to tell you directly to your face.

675
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,310
I've heard a lot of your stories about the things you've been called

676
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,229
and the things you've been accused of.

677
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,670
Let's just lay it all on the line.

678
00:23:12,569 --> 00:23:14,359
You're none of those things.

679
00:23:14,650 --> 00:23:15,839
And even if

680
00:23:16,170 --> 00:23:19,359
the model is misunderstood by absolutely everyone.

681
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:21,589
It doesn't even matter

682
00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:24,229
because it's never misunderstood by the child.

683
00:23:25,410 --> 00:23:27,219
The child gets to experience it,

684
00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:27,619
feel it,

685
00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:28,030
see it,

686
00:23:28,099 --> 00:23:28,650
know it

687
00:23:29,060 --> 00:23:30,530
at the depth of who they are.

688
00:23:32,079 --> 00:23:34,219
So when you feel pressure,

689
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,920
when you want to bend.

690
00:23:36,910 --> 00:23:37,449
When

691
00:23:37,589 --> 00:23:39,560
you're struggling to be adherent.

692
00:23:40,579 --> 00:23:41,400
Hold firm

693
00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:44,469
Speak truth with grace.

694
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,050
And rehearse how you're going to respond.

695
00:23:50,709 --> 00:23:51,540
Be clear,

696
00:23:51,829 --> 00:23:53,099
find your community.

697
00:23:53,739 --> 00:23:54,829
Use language wisely,

698
00:23:54,949 --> 00:23:55,949
redefine progress,

699
00:23:55,989 --> 00:23:57,619
all the things we've talked about today.

700
00:23:59,430 --> 00:24:00,459
Commit to the model.

701
00:24:01,349 --> 00:24:02,560
It's the only way

702
00:24:02,770 --> 00:24:05,449
that the child gets to experience what the child needs.

703
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:07,729
The child always gets it.

704
00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:11,459
So that should be enough motivation.

705
00:24:12,390 --> 00:24:13,060
To

706
00:24:13,790 --> 00:24:16,260
be able to coast as long as we need to

707
00:24:16,709 --> 00:24:17,900
and eventually

708
00:24:18,150 --> 00:24:19,619
it becomes muscle memory

709
00:24:20,430 --> 00:24:21,030
and then we

710
00:24:21,229 --> 00:24:22,459
we get over the hump

711
00:24:22,750 --> 00:24:27,260
but the climb is steep sometimes and the climb is tall and long sometimes

712
00:24:28,109 --> 00:24:28,750
stay true.

713
00:24:30,050 --> 00:24:32,229
Do what you know and what you believe in.

714
00:24:32,930 --> 00:24:34,140
Which is CCPT.

715
00:24:35,699 --> 00:24:36,199
Next

716
00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:36,829
time,

717
00:24:36,979 --> 00:24:38,449
final episode of the series,

718
00:24:38,579 --> 00:24:41,209
we're going to kind of summarize everything

719
00:24:41,739 --> 00:24:42,930
and remind why

720
00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:44,849
this work matters so much.

721
00:24:45,099 --> 00:24:45,650
So,

722
00:24:45,660 --> 00:24:46,020
love y'all.

723
00:24:46,099 --> 00:24:46,979
We'll talk again soon.

724
00:24:47,140 --> 00:24:47,339
Bye.

725
00:24:48,329 --> 00:24:51,189
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

726
00:24:51,349 --> 00:24:52,260
Brenna Hicks.

727
00:24:52,430 --> 00:24:54,390
For more episodes and resources,

728
00:24:54,510 --> 00:24:59,270
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.