The One Where Lala Has An Epic Halloween Costume Fail

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Hello, my gorgeous little villains or seductors. Whenever you were for Halloween. How was your Halloween? Jest?

00:00:17
Speaker 2: My Halloween was so good. But now it's November two, so all I can think about is Christmas. But my Halloween was great?

00:00:26
Speaker 1: What did you do? I never think about Halloween, even on Hallow.

00:00:30
Speaker 2: You don't know.

00:00:31
Speaker 1: I don't like it. Yeah, the dressing up for me is like torture. Is seductor a word? Seductor?

00:00:39
Speaker 2: I feel like it is, because what would it be like seductee yeah, seductress. I don't know, seductress. It's probably that it's probably that you looked awesome.

00:00:48
Speaker 1: No, I didn't. Well, Logan comes over because Schroeder told me that she's having a Halloween party. Okay for me, I remember like, yes, you're having a Halloween party, but I just assumed like Hartford would be in bed. Yeah, no, kids, I'm gonna bring my ass out because she deserves a moment.

00:01:11
Speaker 2: I know you said to me, you're like sexy adult Halloween party. Yeah.

00:01:14
Speaker 1: No, there were definitely children there and Jeremiah, one of our producers with Sareny and his kids, and I was like, I'm so sorry.

00:01:25
Speaker 2: Wait because your ass was out.

00:01:27
Speaker 1: And it was like, laala, I've known you for a really long time. I would never expect you to show up anywhere with your ass cupboard.

00:01:35
Speaker 2: So I thought it looked amazing. You were the joker? Is that what it was?

00:01:39
Speaker 1: No, you were refereen.

00:01:41
Speaker 2: Oh you were? You can I can't.

00:01:48
Speaker 1: People were like, are you supposed to be a sexy inmate? I was like no, so I was supposed to be Beetlejuice. But because I don't like Halloween, didn't try it on. Yeah, it comes with the green bay. I put it on, was like a nerve, Hell no, will you can in that streets with this wig on? So Logan was over. I put it on and we were both like nerd, nerd, absolutely not I take it off. I was like, fuck this, I'm wearing street clothes and he was like, no, just wear the costume with your hair normal. I was like, I haven't washed my hair in like six days. So it was like put it up and I was like, thank god we got the earpinned back for moments like yes, we got it.

00:02:33
Speaker 2: You know that's my favorite hairstyle when you do the top bun with the banks. Yeah, it's like Pam Anderson. I don't know, it's something. It gives something that it was.

00:02:42
Speaker 1: Giving whatever here I am. I don't care. Like the last time I dressed up for Halloween, I was twenty one years old. I wore a blue like eminem costumes.

00:02:51
Speaker 2: When it was a big round one, yes, not a sixty one.

00:02:54
Speaker 1: And it was from when I was a little kid. It just happened to fit's still a little shorter. Yes, I think my ask may have been out then.

00:03:01
Speaker 2: To okay, so it was somewhat sexy.

00:03:04
Speaker 1: But you know, the foot covering is like the big I wore those and the hand gloves.

00:03:11
Speaker 2: That's funny.

00:03:12
Speaker 1: It was awesome and I never I haven't dressed up since then until this year, and this was a reminder that I'm never doing it again. Yeah, until Ocean expresses interest in her mom dressing up for Halloween. When Ocean like, if Ocean loves Halloween and she wants me to dress up, then I totally will do it. But until them, like I said.

00:03:32
Speaker 2: Ner, well, I know today we're recording this on Halloween, but did are you going to take her trick or treating or do you think? I mean, she doesn't really eat candy, so don't you.

00:03:42
Speaker 1: Well, if she's with her Gigi, she consumes a lot of sugar. I was like, fucking stop it, mom, what are you doing? But that's the corner of my eye, like slipping her calling candy. I'm like, enough enough of it already.

00:03:55
Speaker 2: That's what grandparents are for. I know.

00:03:57
Speaker 1: But my mom lives with me. Yeah, so it's in every like yeah, not every day because I would lose my mind, but it's like an often thing where she's like, she just wants a bite. I'm like, I know, but she's so young that she's not gonna like spinach anymore because she's gonna want the cotton candy instead.

00:04:12
Speaker 2: Right, Like, why am I gonna eat this green stuff when they're cotton candy exists?

00:04:16
Speaker 1: When I know there's cookies in the cabinet, Why the fuck would I eat this?

00:04:19
Speaker 2: You know? Right, So you're not gonna take her trigger tree, I.

00:04:22
Speaker 1: Said, you know again, I hate that. I gotta stop. No, I don't think we'll do trigger treating. I think we'll just go over to Stosse's house and chill. I've heard that when they're like two to two and a half is when trigger treating is fun, Like, right, now. Yeah, she just wants to hang out with her friends. M So that's what we're gonna do. Cute. Yeah. By the way, this weekend, great ass was out totally fine, failed on the wig whatever. I don't care, bailed on the wig. How has the Weird Weird whatever?

00:04:52
Speaker 2: It's called a weird emo concert?

00:04:56
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:04:56
Speaker 2: I got dms being like, what did Laala say about this when you told her you were going. I was like, she said, I have no idea any of those bands besides like Avril Levine, who didn't show by the way, No, yeah, but I don't know if that was planned and she was only planning the first weekend. But I went to We Were Young Fest in Vegas. It was everything I was expecting. I have to be honest, I wasn't expecting a lot. I was like, there's too many people, it's going to be unorganized. That scared me for you, Yeah, I was like, this is the first year they're doing it. They're probably gonna run out of merch, run out of food, run out of drinks. They had it on. It was like shockingly organized.

00:05:32
Speaker 1: Wif because no one wanted to.

00:05:33
Speaker 2: Go literally packed, it was packed. There were a couple times where I was standing in the crowd because Kyle likes hard more like hardcore stuff and people who actually love hardcore and screaming, Yeah, they're gonna be hearing me and be like that is not a hardcore band. But to me, like Knocked Loose and Glass Jaw, they're like screaming a lot and then a pitch forms, yeah, and people are like smashing into each other. And a couple of times I told Kyle because we were upfront, and I was like, we gotta we gotta go in the back.

00:06:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I saw your story this morning. Yeah, and with like the lot of people, Yeah, that's ho for me.

00:06:12
Speaker 2: It would have been your nightmare to be.

00:06:13
Speaker 1: It looked like my nightmare. It looks like my nightmare.

00:06:17
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean overall, obviously, overall, we were safe and it was very organized and everyone had a great time and it was a lot of fun. And I got to see Paramore my chemical romance and I was living for it.

00:06:32
Speaker 1: I know one, I know one, param what's that song? Yeah? I chimed in with the haven't you people I love that song? Wait, no, that's panic at the discos and everyone what's the song that everyone knows a paramore.

00:06:53
Speaker 2: I love that song. I chimed in, that's a great paramo.

00:06:57
Speaker 1: I know that that's panic at the disco. What's the paramour song that everyone.

00:07:01
Speaker 2: Knows, the one that everyone knows. I guess it's probably like Misery Business, that's the one.

00:07:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, yep, yep, yep yep. So there's that. Also, did you see Kyle Richard's Lady Gun Shoot?

00:07:14
Speaker 2: Wait?

00:07:15
Speaker 1: No, when I heard of Lady Gun before? No, I have no idea what this Lady Gun is a magazine. I did a shoot for them, Like I want to say, I hadn't even I don't even think I had been on vander Palm Rules or like my season hadn't aired yet. So this shows how long ago it was. And I wanted to like post my Lady Gun photos because I was like, I look so fucking snatched, do you know no? Because then I was like, this is attension seeking, Okay, Like in honor of Kyle Richard's Lady Gun Shoot, here's mine.

00:07:46
Speaker 2: Do you have them? Because at one we should post on the podcast.

00:07:49
Speaker 1: And I have a little baby face. It was before my like injections. It was before you.

00:07:55
Speaker 2: Had the round babyface, that round and drinking so I was probably still drinking.

00:07:59
Speaker 1: I don't think I had fully fully submersed myself into alcoholism at that point in time, but we were well on our way. Is that a word submerse? I don't know.

00:08:11
Speaker 2: I'm immersed, immersed and submerge is immersed a word immerse? Yeah? Did her lady Gun?

00:08:19
Speaker 1: She looked snatched? Did she looked freaking hot? Yeah?

00:08:23
Speaker 2: Immersed is dip or submerge in a liquor?

00:08:26
Speaker 1: Submerge? Isn't that what I said?

00:08:27
Speaker 2: Submerge? I think you said submersed.

00:08:30
Speaker 1: So you wow. I didn't go to college.

00:08:34
Speaker 2: I did, and I still don't know these words. Submerge is cause to be underwater, completely cover, or obscure, So submerge it is Kyle Richard's lady Gun. So then if you're listening to this, which you obviously are, you would not be hearing me right now. But we will post those photos.

00:08:52
Speaker 1: They're really cute on the podcast in Sexie, Yeah, like I love it. Twenty three, twenty four, just freaking snatch. Maybe I was a little older than that. I can't remember. Anyway. I had a date night with with Katie over the weekend on Friday because my mom went back to Utah for Halloween to see her two other grand babies. Okay, fun, and Katie and I went to this spot in the valley and everyone was on a date and had a partner. Okay, okay, So we were looking at each other like, well, this is fun. I was like, I love being on a date with you, Katie. And then we started talking about like dudes and our type of guys, and you know, when we're talking to new dudes, we like will send each other like their Instagram handles you have to. And I told her I just don't think my type of guy, like this is what I'm looking for and this is just my type. Because She's like, I want to take you to Silver Lake and I was like, my type of guy don't exist in silver Lake.

00:09:56
Speaker 2: That's true. I think Katie's type what I know of Katie exist, her type exists in Silver Lake.

00:10:01
Speaker 1: Yes, So you want to know what her comeback was? We need to reevaluate your type of guy.

00:10:07
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, what do you think about that?

00:10:10
Speaker 1: Stupid? Like, I don't know, it's stupid in a way. Probably, Yes, I love a dude who's emotionally unavailable. Okay, Yes, I love a guy who goes to me plenty of those in Silver Lake. You can tell you that much like I don't know what it is. Yeah, love a guy who's like not really around that much. But then I'm telling I'm telling her this is what I want.

00:10:38
Speaker 2: When you say this is what I want? Do you say those things? Are you saying? This is what I want? Someone emotionally available, all the things that you're not actually.

00:10:44
Speaker 1: All of the things that I say I want. I go for dudes who are the opposite of that.

00:10:49
Speaker 2: Okay, so what do you want.

00:10:51
Speaker 1: I would like a guy who's very simple. I want consistency, and I want transparency. I'm easy, all right. I've really that I wasn't easy in my last relationship because I was unhappy. So I was on ten all the time in a real, normal relationship where I'm not triggered by someone by my person just breathing. I'm fucking easy, keep it real, be consistent. And by the way, there are dudes that I'm talking to right now where the groundwork was laid of being inconsistent, so I know what I'm in for. We can go three days, five days, thirty days without speaking, and maybe it's because those dudes I started talking to at like the very beginning of my I'm fresh out of the torture chamber, so it was like, I don't need to talk to every day, but I understand the assignment with that, you know.

00:11:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, here's my question. Do you think you're going for emotionally unavailable subconsciously or no? Like, because you know subconsciously that you're like not ready to be in a relationship. So you might because if you had a guy who's transparent and consistent to me, you might get in a relationship within the next few months. But is that not true because that's just me going off of how I would act.

00:12:14
Speaker 1: So yeah, you know, I think you're right. And Chris Medina told me, he said, you have so much healing to still do that the chances of you opening yourself up to a relationship right now, there's a very high chance that you could welcome in toxicity because you've been dealing with it for so long that it feels familiar and your brain starts firing when toxicity comes into play because it's familiar to you, right, So that part really freaks me out. And I think, even though I know that I want to be in a relationship and I want to find my person. I just think timing is everything, and I just don't think it's the right time.

00:12:57
Speaker 2: Not the right time.

00:12:58
Speaker 1: I have too much that needs to get done before I can open myself up to someone. And again we spoke about this last week. Time has done a lot of my healing, but there's going to be a moment where I need to start talking to someone to really unpack things so that when I go out and I'm ready to date someone and let someone into my world, I'm a healthy human being. Yeah, because I don't want to be. I don't want to meet someone and have be my mind firing every time. It's like it gets a little bit inconsistent where it's like this feels this is where I thrive because this is familiar. That's like not what I want.

00:13:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that makes sense. And just in my personal opinion, just because I talk to girlfriends who I hear this all the time, who are single, and you'll hear a lot of people be like, well, that's not how men are these days. You just have to be okay with like inconsistency. But to me, I'm like, absolutely not, that's not of Like, that's not I was just talking to a girl single girlfriend back at home about this, and she was like, that's just how guys are, and I just have to be okay with that. Like if I don't hear from him for you know, four or five days, then fine. And I'm like, in my opinion, I'm like, no, you don't have to settle for that. Sure, maybe that's how a lot of younger men are, like twenties, thirties, even forties these days, but there are also lots of men out there who are not like that.

00:14:21
Speaker 1: Well that's like saying you're not going to find a girl who doesn't post ass photos, right, which I very much do that. But it's okay.

00:14:30
Speaker 2: But I have a kind heart, nice ass and kind heart. What more could you want?

00:14:34
Speaker 1: What more could you ask for? What more?

00:14:39
Speaker 2: Now?

00:14:41
Speaker 1: Are you watching any Real Housewives? I'm the worst person.

00:14:44
Speaker 2: For this, No, but I get I keep up with the info from a mister Bubbs.

00:14:49
Speaker 1: Okay, So, which the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion the last one family aired? What did mister Bubbs have to say about it?

00:14:58
Speaker 2: Well, I haven't talked to him about it yet.

00:15:00
Speaker 1: Well, Kathy Hilton made an appearance.

00:15:02
Speaker 2: Okay, you tell me what you think, and then I'll talk to mister Pupps about it because many listeners are like love when she talks about housewives, and I do not want to take this away from you from them.

00:15:12
Speaker 1: So I love Lisa Rinna and I feel like she's getting She's definitely trigger happy when it comes to her Instagram and things like that, and there's so many people that again, it goes back to like why are you tuning in? Like if Lisa Rinna tones it down, why are you tuning in what you gonna watch?

00:15:34
Speaker 3: Right?

00:15:34
Speaker 2: Where's the drama?

00:15:35
Speaker 1: Where's the drama? Where's the feisty? You may not dig her, but you at least need to say thank you for making something happen this season. Right, You always have to have someone who is not afraid to talk. And everyone wants to say that she ran people off the show. No, no, no, no, no no.

00:15:55
Speaker 2: I did see that. I saw a lot of memes that were like, look at all the amazing people she's run off the show.

00:16:00
Speaker 1: The victims. Yes, okay, that's careful with that fucking worder. Yeah, careful, come on. Yeah, everyone knows what they signed up for when they start doing reality TV. Your skeletons could be brought out. You have to be okay with that whether and by the way, Kathy Hilton love her. She adds like a lightness to the show. Right, that's really funny, like Honky Dory talking about it was the toe that broke the camel's back.

00:16:29
Speaker 2: I did see that.

00:16:29
Speaker 1: The fuck are you talking about? This is awesome?

00:16:32
Speaker 2: I know that broke the camels.

00:16:34
Speaker 1: We're confusing camel toe with straws breaking camel's backs. But who am I the fuck to judge you because I don't know the difference between submerse, submerge and emerge immer just combine them all. I liked it. Yeah, but again, there's a lot of things that happen in Hollywood that people know, and it gets tricky. It gets tricky because it's like what's real what's not real? And it's hard because Erica Jane wants to step in for her friend Lisa Renna, right, but people are like, she doesn't have any credibility.

00:17:12
Speaker 2: Not Yeah, and do you think I do have a couple? Number One, is Kathy coming back next season? Do we know that? Do you think she will?

00:17:20
Speaker 1: She said she wasn't.

00:17:21
Speaker 2: No, did she say that on the reunion.

00:17:23
Speaker 1: I just saw something on Instagram that said she's not coming back.

00:17:27
Speaker 2: Okay. And number two, do you think Kathy, like you just said, you know what you sign up for when you get on a reality TV show. Do you think Kathy knew or do you think maybe she thought, oh, this will be a fun.

00:17:41
Speaker 1: I think some people think they're above things. Okay, this could never happen to me, right, look at all the Look at what I have. I can shut it all down, right, And we've seen even the most powerful fall. Yeah, the richest and the most powerful fall. Like so that way of thinking, you shouldn't do reality TV. If you think you're untouchable, don't do reality TV because the second you sign that contract, it doesn't matter. Like right, they they'll expose it all. What I will say, though, is when you have a tough season, if you're a reality TV personality, don't let it drive you out because next year something else will happen. Someone else is going to be the villain. Someone else is gonna have a storyline they were gonna be. It won't carry on to the next season because you got to end it because it's not interesting anymore. Just like if Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy continued on to the next season. We'd all be like, got it. We don't give a fuck at this point, who was in the right or wrong? Bring me something new and fresh.

00:18:43
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:18:44
Speaker 1: And I learned that when I left season five, when I ran away and I was like, I can't do this. Now, you got a bad season. Quiet the noise, stay off the phone, don't look at the comments. If you don't see it, it doesn't exist. Yeah, go back, take the opportunity, have fun and realize like this time will come to an end at some point, whether you leave or not. Nothing lasts forever. So take it by the balls and fucking enjoy it.

00:19:08
Speaker 2: That's really good advice. You should write a book on that, Like so you want to be on reality TV? Question Mark by La la Ken.

00:19:16
Speaker 4: Seriously, because I think of all the reality TV that's a great because my thought would be if you're a villain one season on reality TV, that kind of sticks with you.

00:19:27
Speaker 2: No, but you're saying you kind of go up and down, in and out. It's like you do.

00:19:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like Lisa vander Pump always told me, it's things go away, no one remembers, and then you rewatch og episodes of people freaking out, like when I had Season seven happen where I was calling re Calibambi eyed bitch and all of these things. People were coming for me, Yeah, calling me pretty horrific things. Now when I post that shit, people.

00:19:54
Speaker 2: Like this was iconic planic.

00:19:56
Speaker 1: I know, yes, your shit will turn to iconic. So you just there's a very it's an art.

00:20:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, not everyone. No, I could never. I would be the most boring reality TV person. But there are also reality TV stars that I'm like, how I don't get the four I don't understand the formula yet because I look at someone like you and I'm like done. If I were a producer, i'd cast her on any reality TV show. But there are other people I watch that I'm like, huh, people love them. I don't get why. Yeah, there's something about them that like people just love and I don't necessarily understand it, right, So I don't know. It's interesting. You have to have it.

00:20:31
Speaker 1: Garcel is the perfect example. Yeah, she's always the voice of reason. She has these little one liners that are like, Okay, you just smoked this bitch right with one and it wasn't even that mean, but you like literally put her six feet deep.

00:20:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, literally, Gara, What I mean, Garcel? That mister Bubbs did tell me Garcel's he goes. Oh, she's a fan favorite the season.

00:20:51
Speaker 1: She's a fan favorite. She always will be because she is level headed. She has that face that she makes when that her her look will just like when she's done, your show's on her face and that's all we need to see.

00:21:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's powerful. When I see her on the show, or see her photos or see her anywhere in like paparazzi videos, I like get like a Oh, I get taken aback.

00:21:15
Speaker 1: And she she commands a room when she walks in.

00:21:19
Speaker 2: That's she commands a room. That's exactly what it is. Oh.

00:21:22
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about this real quick because we were doing opening titles and I did it with Katie and Arianna, and I just got really excited about the show coming out. I'm like, I feel because again, I'm a huge reality TV fan. So even though I'm a part of it and it gets intense, it's like I know that when someone has a fucking meltdown or whatever, I'm like, yes, I don't wait to see it because I love it so much. And I and I know, like even when I watch for example, Derinda Medley and her clip clipped, and I know that feeling when you're in scene and you're like, because that's just who we are, that's why we're on a show. Yeah, I just I'm like, I don't fuck with you, bitchy, but like I can't wait to see that shit.

00:22:10
Speaker 2: Yes, no, that's exciting. And we haven't talked since the opening titles? How did it go? I know you can't talk about a ton, but obviously, for anyone who doesn't know, opening titles are the opening titles, they're the.

00:22:19
Speaker 1: Iconic, iconic. It's completely different than what people are used to.

00:22:24
Speaker 2: Okay, you looked incredible and you posted a photos fucking amazing.

00:22:29
Speaker 1: Well thank god Katie took photos and then I asked her because she was like, I'm gonna post and I was like, I have no content ever because these bitches get to it before I do and it's always on their phone and I love and I'm like, damn, I look good, send them to me and it's for them to post. So I said, can you just include me?

00:22:42
Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah, because they do the clap thing.

00:22:45
Speaker 1: Can you just clap me? So she did. But Katie and I, by the way, Arianna and Katie looked unbelievable. I told Katie the next date you go on like this got to be the look. Yes, and she was like really with the red lip. I said, no, forget fucking red lip that I neutral lip. Get the tits up. You're gonna have a husband. You look like this, You're gonna have a fucking husband. She always looks stunning, but this was like a vibe Ariana's makeup. I told her, this is the look that you like. This would be my go to? Which would be my go to? And the colors all looked incredible next to make each other. So we start talking as we're waiting to start, and I was like, I just can't wait for this season, like Katie and I are planning watch parties and like this is the drill. And Ariana was like, I can definitely wait. And I said what why? And she was talking about how affected she gets when the show starts airing. And that's where the fine line comes in because I told her stop looking at shit people say to you, and she said I can. It's like I seek it out. I try to find like mean comments, and I'm like, why would anyone want to do that to themselves because it's interesting. I get a lot of love in the dms, like it is few and far between that I'm getting people ripping me a new one. I'm sure Ariann has looked the same, because for the most part, people are normal. There's not just a bunch of psychos in the world writing you hate mail. I write no.

00:24:13
Speaker 2: Time on their hair, it's trolls.

00:24:14
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, So she's one that gets very affected when the season starts airing, will I have a good season? What will people say? How will they say? I look and I'm looking at her, going like, you're one of the most beautiful people in that I've ever seen. Yes, your body is like if I had that body with that ass, Oh, forget it, spandex every fucking day done is like I be throwing it bitch night. Yeah. And she's just struggling.

00:24:42
Speaker 2: And it's so and it's so sad because she's obviously she came on tour and we had dinner together, so I got to know her a little over dinner and I'm like, you're just the chillist bitch.

00:24:52
Speaker 1: I've ever met. Oh, she's so fucking so kind.

00:24:55
Speaker 2: But and then there's these losers that hate themselves at home so right, and then they decide. But it's like, I wish I could just convince everyone, like literally the negative comments or actual losers who hate themselves. Yeah, and they're trying to make others feel they have no time on their hands. I feel so sad for any of their dogs or kids. And I'm just gonna say that because so many of them. I click on their profile and it's either a little kid in their photo or a fucking dog, and I'm like, I feel so bad for your dog and your kids to have to live with someone like you.

00:25:29
Speaker 1: No, I know I feel the same way, and that makes me so sad.

00:25:31
Speaker 2: And they got to affect her, but she won't not look at them, and some people just have to see it.

00:25:36
Speaker 1: Some people have to see it, and I hate that for her, But I kept telling her, like you are. I just feel like it's important. This is one thing that I think I would change about myself. I can build you up to where you think you to where you know like you're the baddest thing walking this earth, Right, I build a bit chop Right when someone doesn't act right and they come for me, I won't make you feel good.

00:26:03
Speaker 2: But I'm just curious, what would you rather? You would rather just be able to turn.

00:26:07
Speaker 1: I'd rather be a Garcel. Oh okay, I'd rather be a Garcel above it, above it, and and say how you make me feel and that I'm disengaging like a Meredith Marx, and instead I decide to just fucking Tornado. You're to the crownd. But I'm hoping that that will change with age.

00:26:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean it goes back to though. Also it is just interesting to watch. Granted, I get what you're saying though, because Garcel can do it where she's like, I'm disengaging, and it's still like, like I feel empowered when I watch it. She does say, yeah, but there.

00:26:46
Speaker 1: Was this woman who slid in my DM over the weekend.

00:26:50
Speaker 2: All you hate a lot of you hating people are women, and I'm just like, get your shit's.

00:26:55
Speaker 1: Old, Like she's got to be pushing eighty right, okay, And she looked her profile picture looked like like a sweet old lady. So I decided to open it. She goes off on me because you know, I'm a poster bring the motherfucking dogs out, So she blah blah, blah. I won't even read the first part. Men look at that like what I'm posting, and they don't want what they see get me. I'm an old retired executive. See even Lily makes no noise. Bring the fucking dogs out will get me. I'm an old retired executive that weeded my way to the best man out there, every man wind and diyed me. Men, see that crazy disrespectful behavior makes you look ugly af frfr I assume that means for real, for real? Oh, she said, I was you, so I told her. I said, Yo, Pam, you think I'm worried about what a man sees and thinks. What an old school in sad mentality. You coaching me on how to stay silent to bag a man? We would not get along. You live for the approval of others. I live for me. I hope one day you can have what I have. It's a shame you don't already at your age. She responds, yes, response bring the dogs out, bit, Yes, she responds, listen here, Lauren again, Lauren, ain't an insult. You guys think it's an insult. It's not. I'm aware of my name, but some of you call me Lauren, and that is not my name. Yeah, my name is Lauren.

00:28:23
Speaker 2: From fucking Utah. I thought that was like a compliment, like because you said it at your beauty party. When I first You're like, I'm Lauren from Lauren from Utah, and I was like, yes, people use that as an insult.

00:28:34
Speaker 1: All the time. People think it's an insult, and it's like, it's john if you think that. I just like one day was like, I'm gonna be fucking la la Yeah, no nickname from my friends actually when I was a little kid. Anyway, moving on stupid board, I have been married for twenty one years. I drive a Benz, live in waterfront at the Jersey Shore. My hubs works for the state, and I'm retired. You're reaching for what I have already, little Lauren. Remember that. I'm so cressed because I know. I know. First of all, let me know when you're driving a Rolls Royce and living in fucking Beverly Hills, betch right. First of all, Okay, proud of you, very proud you drive a Benz, you're retired, you live on Jersey Shore.

00:29:14
Speaker 2: Like that sounds I'm not proud of you.

00:29:17
Speaker 1: So I wrote her back and said again, everything you mentioned are things you find self worth in the wrong places. You have nothing I want that. She writes a response back. It's all fucking stupid what she says. I'm proud of you for your bens and your Jersey short waterfunt problems.

00:29:36
Speaker 2: That's Laa being kind. I don't give a fuck about any of your shit, like you say. You say I've been married for twenty years. There have been women and men married for fifty years who have never been more miserable in their marriages, right that, like anything, you just anything and everything. There are people with the rolls royices, with the mansions, with the husbands of fifty years, who are fucking miserable. And that's exactly what I feel from her. Miserable or she wouldn't be messaging you, Pame, your life is so great? What are you doing dming lalla about a photo she posted or whatever?

00:30:09
Speaker 1: That batch on TV? That's the only reason you know me. Yeah, you're fucking welcome. I'm on your TV. I hear a beachfront property in Jersey Shore. All right, I'm embarrassed for you. No, I was embarrassed for her too, because I'm like, you're talking about things, which, by the way, I had a lot of things. Yeah, I still have a lot of things. Yeah, And guess what, I'm no happier now. Actually, I'm a lot happier now than I was when I was sitting at my parents' house in Utah saying I have big dreams and I'll be happy when I accomplished them. Guess what, I've accomplished them. And I have had more her oil in my life than I've ever had ever. Right, And I could go out and buy you know, go get a new car. I could go buy a bens pant. Yeah, I could do that.

00:30:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I that's exactly what exactly. You sit here and you could go do those things, but you choose to do other things with your time. It's like your love language's quality time. I guarantee if someone were to sit you down and say, la, La, did you feel like, oh, I'm I'm living big when or I did it when you got your first Burkeen? Maybe, but it's not like to this day you're hanging onto that feeling. If I could just get another Burkin, I would have really made it Like, No, you have the Burkins, and I'm sure it means more to you. You going to a pumpkin patch with the ocean. You know what I'm saying. It's like yeah.

00:31:34
Speaker 1: I was like, show me something. I learned this in AA. Surround yourself with people who have what you want, and that goes well beyond just sobriety, like when I'm sitting in a room. So I went to an AA meeting on Friday, and I got my birthday cake because on my actual fourth birthday, I had Ocean and I just I wanted to spend time with her. I wanted to go and play at Universal. So I went to my AA meeting and got my cake, and my sponsor brought me my four year chip Cara, thank you.

00:32:07
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:32:07
Speaker 1: And the speaker had been sober for thirty five years, and she said surround yourself with people who have what you want. And I was sitting there listening because people would introduce themselves and give their amount of time, and I was like, I kept finding myself saying I want that. I want thirty five years. Yeah, I want. This woman talking about how she stayed sober through the pandemic and wanted to like bury herself because she was like, my family is driving me fucking insane.

00:32:38
Speaker 2: Feel you.

00:32:39
Speaker 1: Yes, I was like, I want that. I want to be in a house with my family where I'm like, you're rubbing me, its fucking my way. But I've been sober for eighteen years and you motherfucker are.

00:32:47
Speaker 4: Not going to ruin that for me, you know, Yes, Yes, that's the shit that matters.

00:32:54
Speaker 1: Yes, you talking about your things. I don't care. I've had so many things, all right. I've been on pj's, I've been in twenty five thousand square foot like Ocean View Mexican mansions. I have done and had a lot of beautiful things in my life that no, I may not have paid for. My partner was paying for those things. There's a lot of things that I look around and I'm like, how am I affording to like do what I'm doing right now? It doesn't fucking matter. I want happiness, I want freedom, I want self love. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to help someone who's in a toxic environment be like, you know what, I've found strength in that woman. I don't care about your bends in your twenty one year relationship, or your fucking waterfront Jersey Shore whatever. Yep, come to me with substance.

00:33:47
Speaker 2: Bitch a a fucking men. And let me tell you all those all those people who are living their life to the fullest and who are happy, are not negatively sliding in your DMS. So that's how you know, Pam, I'm are you're so We're sorry, you're so miserable, and I hope you find happiness because because that is sad. That's so sad when people I stop looking at a lot of my DMS, and I know it's not I couldn't even imagine what you see just from the couple of negative comments I see. But literally, when I get and I wish, like going back to Ariana, I wish you would feel this way. And I'm sure it's it's different for everyone. When I get a nega, when I get a comment that's like you're so fucking annoying and a ass kisser and all this shit, what honestly it feels like to me. And because I was trying to equate this feeling to something, if you were to look at me, Laala and be like, I fucking hate your blue hair. You look so fucking ugly with blue hair. It's disgusting. It makes me sick. I would look at you like, oh my god, you're a crazy person. I don't have fucking what are you talking about? And I would just feel like a little concerned for you because I'd be like, hey, she thinks I have blue fucking hair? Is she okay? And that's literally how I feel when people are like helping at me, I'm like, oh, are you okay? Because that's not me? Are you okay? Obviously you don't know me, and I hope you go find help insanity, And that's literally how I feel. So when you say like full circle, people like Arianna get affected, I'm like, you're a bad bitch and these people are not, like right, they need help? Yeah, Like they're coming at you saying things and they don't fucking know you, right.

00:35:24
Speaker 1: Like I don't hang out with you because I think what I Janice from Wisconsin said about you, right, and I know you. I'm around you a lot. Yes, what that person is saying, she doesn't know you. It's so sad. I know. I love Ariana, so I hope she gets through that. Another DM that I got, Oh god, And this was like a real DM, A girl asking me to mentor her on how to be a sugar baby and She's like, I mean no disrespect by this, but none of my friends know, like, are in this type of world. So I was hoping that you could like my mentor.

00:36:01
Speaker 2: Did do you think did you get the vibe that she thought you were one at one time?

00:36:04
Speaker 1: Well a lot of people do, yeah, and we speak about that this season.

00:36:09
Speaker 2: You do.

00:36:09
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:36:10
Speaker 2: Wait, I never I've never seen read that anywhere.

00:36:13
Speaker 1: By the way, if you're looking to be a sugar baby, and let's just say I was, I'm the worst person to mentor you because like I was like begging for a new sewer that he wouldn't even pay for. I'm like, no, the ceiling is going to fall through full of shit if we don't pay for this, and he was like, can you split it with me? So like I'm the worst person.

00:36:33
Speaker 2: Wait did you respond or no? Where You're just like.

00:36:35
Speaker 1: I said, I can't help you because I'm not a sugar baby and never have been. So I'll be no of you. I won't be of anything.

00:36:42
Speaker 2: What do you feel about sugar babies? It's like, live your life if you want, but be fucking careful because there's some dangerous people out there, you know.

00:36:50
Speaker 1: I before everything happened, I used to be. Even in my book, I'm like do you boo? And now, because of my trauma, I look down upon it pretty heavily, just because you know, when you're in a when you think you're in a happy space, even though you're not one, you're like do you Bill? And then you kind of see what that world is like, like what's been happening behind your back? And you start start realizing like, oh my god, maybe he looked at me like I was just a sugar baby and he could keep me around with things, and that wasn't where my mindset was. My mindset was like, oh my gosh, I'm here like being a stepmom and I'm you know, teaching kids how to like read, I'm doing homework on a Friday so that you can go have fun tonight. Like I didn't think of myself that way at all, but maybe that person did. So when I look at it now and just where I am, like, thank god. I sat there and thought I'm gonna work my ass off no matter what, because my mama taught me to never depend on anybody. So when I see women who are sugar babies, I'm my girl. I don't get it. Yeah, it ain't worth it.

00:38:04
Speaker 2: I see when I do see the women who are sugar babies, and look if there's like there's a lot that goes into it, but just the surface level.

00:38:12
Speaker 1: I don't even know what goes into it.

00:38:13
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's different for everyone. I think there's sexual exchange. I think there's just items exchange. I don't know. I don't really know the world. I think as long as you're genuinely happy and stay safe, then that's one thing I've heard and seen. There's documentaries about it. A lot of shit that goes wrong, Like you're in an even exchange relationship for a couple of years and it's great, and then the woman wants to get out and she kind of can't.

00:38:40
Speaker 1: Okay, I like where we're going here. Okay, let's assume you're a sugar baby in a safe all of it is consensual, all of it is safe, because that's the main thing. I want you safe. I need your mental to be safe because that's also very very important. I need you physically and emotionally safe. Let's just say we're there. If you are exchanging sexual favors for something, I highly recommend you do it for money and not things and not things because things aren't gonna get you anywhere. Don't let him pay for your apartment, don't let him buy you bags. No, honey, I'm gonna need cold hard cash.

00:39:18
Speaker 2: Okay, So you save up to get yourself.

00:39:20
Speaker 1: Out of there when you fucking stack the paper. Yeah, that's what I would do.

00:39:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, Cause there are another thing I saw on I got to get the name of the documentary. If you want to know, dm me. It's on I think Netflix. But there are there are a lot of sugar babies apparently that are not allowed to have jobs because of that situation, because then they can stack it up, they can get the things, stack up their cash from the job, the actual job where they're like, you know whatever. I know, sugar baby is an actual job. I'm not trying to offend anyone, but like a job where they have a W two and all that and they're not allowed to have it. And I found out by watching the documentary is because in a lot of situations, the sugar daddy quote unquote doesn't want the girl to just stack up the cash and be able to.

00:40:07
Speaker 1: Get and have independence. So there we go. You're no longer emotionally safe. So I advise against being a sugar baby. I advise you start a business, go get a real job, be independent. That's what my mom always taught me to do. So I hate to put a bee in your bonnet. I am not a sugar baby. I have never been a sugar baby. And I know that some of you may think otherwise. We'll let you have that fun imagination of yours, just run wild. I was talking to my best friend Olivia, Okay, the one who our moms have been friends and junior high and then our daughters are six months apart, five months, I think, And I asked her. She has four kids, three boys and Hazel Grace, And I said, are you done? Are you not having kids anymore? And, by the way, most phenomenal mother in the entire world. I take her advice because she's got it figured out and she's a stay at home mom, which I think would be the hardest job in the entire world. I just respect all moms, whether you're working stay at home. It's just you're fucking killing the game. And she got really emotional because she said, I don't want to close that chapter of my life because I just the feeling of having a newborn is so special. She got very emotional, and she said, but I just can't help but think, how will each of my kids suffer if I bring another baby into the family, Because she said, with each kid, you can no longer give each one what they need. It's just I know that, like my oldest is gonna need me in this way, my middle is gonna need me in this way. And if I bring another baby into the world, like what am I going to have to take away to now give this new baby what it needs? Oh that's interesting And I had never thought about that because I come from Utah and some of these people have nine kids, and it's just like because I wanted nine kids, and they don't think about Well, how is you know Max gonna suffer if I bring in another child? How do I remember? How do you remember all those names?

00:42:13
Speaker 2: I barely remember the names of my siblings? Yeah, how do you That's a great Did that make you think differently? Because have you always wanted a certain number of children or not?

00:42:22
Speaker 1: When I was young, like sixteen, Yeah, I thought I was going to marry my high school sweetheart and my first high school sweetheart, which was like a dreadful experience. I wrote about him in the book.

00:42:32
Speaker 2: Oh it was that one.

00:42:34
Speaker 1: It was like his family couldn't know about me. He was very Mormon.

00:42:38
Speaker 2: He was not the one where you came to visit him right, and he was dick.

00:42:42
Speaker 1: No, that was when I was older. Okay, but what did you just say, Oh, I wanted six kids. I just always I remember this family had six kids, and it looked so fun. It looked so fun. The mom always looked exhausted. Yeah, the kids were having a blast. I was like, I'm going to have six kids. Now that ship has sailed, obviously, because I'd have to really start banking about like two at a time. Yeah, and even just having one is like a lot.

00:43:13
Speaker 2: Do you ever think now, because I know you've mentioned it before about and I know they'll see this maybe on the upcoming season of vander Pump, but like, what's your mindset now with kids or are you just like I don't want to think about it. It's me. I'm like, I don't want to fucking think about it.

00:43:27
Speaker 1: No, I think about it because I have ocean And by the way, I say, it's a lot just because I want to. I want to provide her with experiences and things that are gonna like mentally and emotionally stimulate her. So she's you know, I just want her to have experiences. I want her to be around a lot of kids. I want her to have a sibling. So a sperm donor is an option. But then I met with this fertility consultant or specialist at Stossey's house and she said, I would freeze your eggs because then you have an insurance policy. You're gonna meet someone. That's gonna happen. You're gonna meet someone, and then when you do, you just create embryos and there you go, and maybe you conceive just like naturally the old fashion way, but at least you know that you have them and you're still open to Okay, I'm gonna have a baby, but I'm also gonna have it with a partner.

00:44:21
Speaker 2: That's a good option. So I don't know, it's definitely, yeah, it's I have a friend back in New York who just started the egg freezing process and she's thirty five, and I was honest, I was like, wait, what you're you're thirty five and they're like, she's like, yeah, that's my doctor recommended.

00:44:35
Speaker 1: They say at thirty five is when things for a female.

00:44:39
Speaker 2: Start to just decrease. Yeah, that's why I think a lot of people do it at thirty five.

00:44:43
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:44:43
Speaker 2: Yeah. But on the other hand of the because I love that point Olivia brought. Every time you have another child, it's sort of takes away specific something from that child.

00:44:55
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:44:56
Speaker 2: Four, yeahs is a lot. She's at three right now, she's at four. Oh, it would be five, okay. On the other hand of that, as one of five, I do think there were things I learned growing up and had to adapt as far as like number one, I was always kind of fighting for attention, So I feel like I learned to be a little like funny or comedy like a lot of I got that from Like as soon as I got to make someone laugh in my family, I was getting attention. So I was like, Okay, I'm gonna learn how to do this more. And then another thing is like I am not Kyle's an only child. Well he was for like twenty five years, and he it's hard for him to deal with Like he has his space, he's got his stuff, like don't fucking touch it, not for me, but like this is my area, like when he had roommates for me, I'm just like I share everything. What's mine is yours. And I feel like I learned how to be that way because I had to be with four siblings. So there are positives and negatives, I feel, you know, I think there are two.

00:46:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, and maybe there's something that you could do. And this is just in a perfect world, because this is what I thought, you know, with Ocean before she came.

00:46:07
Speaker 2: I was like, this is how our life is going to be.

00:46:09
Speaker 1: And then they come and you're like that goes out the window and you're just making it work. But maybe there's something where like if you had a lot of kids, maybe at a certain time every night you get together in the bed, everyone talks. Maybe you do a one on one with each of your kids.

00:46:26
Speaker 2: I don't know, that's so cute. We had the family dinners where it's like that's all we had. We had six pm. Everyone sits around the table. My dad would go around and say, tell us the best part of your day, tell us the worst, and like we couldn't miss family dinners. We could only miss at four emergencies. And like that was my mom. I love that.

00:46:42
Speaker 1: I was just like and then as you get older, you have like such a hopefully. Yeah, have such like a beautiful connection with all your siblings.

00:46:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you keep that sort of line of communication open even if it's only an hour every day, because you're all so busy, right, so you have that hour together.

00:46:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I think I'll tap out at three.

00:47:02
Speaker 2: You think, yeah, yeah, three is good.

00:47:05
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:47:06
Speaker 2: I could see you having six still, but I would not even have it.

00:47:10
Speaker 1: But I will say when I talk to my mom about it, yeah, she's like, Ocean's always gonna be my favorite.

00:47:15
Speaker 2: Sorry, I mean, ocean is always gonna be my favorite.

00:47:19
Speaker 1: Let's be honest. I said this, and I was like, well, Ocean's always gonna be my favorite too. I mean you always have a special connection with just like your firstborn.

00:47:27
Speaker 3: He was like, thanks, oh, thanks, but no, Ocean will always be I think Ocean even and you guys can all say, oh no, that's not gonna that's not how it's gonna be when you see your next baby.

00:47:43
Speaker 1: But Ocean and just like her personality mixed with like having to leave that life behind at seven months and even though she's not gonna remember it, Like I just look at her and I have such a soft spot in my heart for her.

00:47:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like your best friend and your daughter. And I know a lot of moms are like, you should never be best friends with your daughter, but I see you and your mom are best friends.

00:48:06
Speaker 1: No, No, I'm best friends with my daughter. She doesn't even know it yet. She is my everything. And yes, we'll always have a special bond because she's my daughter. Yeah, but there's gonna be a place that for her is just a little different.

00:48:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think one hundred percent.

00:48:20
Speaker 1: But I could have another baby and it will all be the same. I don't know. She's the only one I have right now, so of course a baby that doesn't exist that I think about could be mine one day. I'm like, no, you ain't hitt and like ocean does.

00:48:34
Speaker 2: That's funny.

00:48:36
Speaker 1: Anyway, this was fun. I liked this episode. Lily's was trying at the door.

00:48:40
Speaker 2: Well.

00:48:40
Speaker 1: I love you guys so much. I hope that you had an incredible Halloween. I hope that everyone was safe and just like blew it out the ass and the most productive and happy way ever. Those of you who don't drink, I hope that you got fuck wild on Perrier and I will catch you next week.