#168 - Jana Kramer Says Husband Had Sex Addiction + Cheating Made Their Marriage Stronger

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Speaker 1: Welcome to episode one of the Bobby Cast, and we will bring on Janna Crammer, Hey, Jenna, Hey Dave. How you doing good? How are you? I'm good And I kind of reaching out to you. I was thinking about you because and we were talking about you on the show a little bit because when you put a song out and so I want to get to that. Um. But you're always a good guest to talk to us well, and I always feel comfortable asking you questions that I want to ask you, probably like straight up under the guys of this is interview. So my first question is that house you guys are building in Nashville, right, because's gonna moving back town? Right? Um? Yeah, yeah, it's humorous. How rich are you? Okay, No, So time out really fast because I understand that it looks it looks here when you were inside of that thing, and you're almost like it looks like gone with the wind place. Okay, So like I I understand because after I posted and everyone was like, oh my god, it looks like a castle, and I was like, what are they talking about? And so when I looked at and I was like, oh, so the way like the my friend took the angle it looks so big, but it's really it's not. I mean, yes, is it larger than the square foot house that we're in right now. Yes, it's bigger than that, because you know, you can get more for your bucking Nashville in l A. But it's you know, it's a it's a four bedroom house. I'm just saying, you know, I follow you on Instagram and I sometimes a message on Stories and I was like, holy crap. Also saw you announcing your podcast is going on You're doing some road shows. Huh yeah, So we're kind of testing it out. I've been wanting to do a podcast tour for a minute because I've been you know, basically just copying, you know, I was like, what is Bobby doing? So I I don't know. I just I wanted to go out there and kind of test the market. So we're doing three dates in May, Virginia, New York, and Boston, and then if it as well, we're going to add a fall tour. So just kind of fingers crossed. People show up and they like it and they want more because we would love to add more in the fall. We'll say this. Tickets for the wind Down towards Janna Kramer and Mike can be purchased. Where do they Where do they get them? They can just go to Janna Cramer dot com. It's part the Virginia, Boston and New York Show. All right, Well, that being said, you have a song. I'm gonna play a little clip of this here. I don't know if you can hear it because you're on the phone. Can you hear this? I can hear it. Okay, just trust me that I'm playing clip of your song. Here we go. Tell me this Beautiful Eyes. Okay, so we're talking about the song coming out and it says I'm gonna read to you what this says in front of me? Says Beautiful Eyes details how Janna felt during the period when she and husband Mike took a break following his infidelity in elaborate on that. Okay, so this year, So I been put out music in a year, and at first I was like, do people? Is there is there anyone that even wants to listen? You know, like should I still be doing this? And I was just like yeah, like I I don't know who's going to listen or if anyone's losten at all, But I still have stories I want to tell, And one of the biggest stories I want to tell is the journey that my husband I've been through. So you know, obviously, so what we're starting with his beautiful eyes and that song is all about. But I wanted to capture that moment and when I found out about everything, what that felt like, and just kind of the destruction and just the like my whole world, you know, flipping upside down and just being like, as much as I didn't want to hear any more lies, like in that moment, I'm like, I just wish it was not true and just tell me a million beautiful eyes because I don't want to believe that what I'm you're telling me now is true. So when did that happen? When did you guys have that? Like, hey, she did what was it? Sex addiction? Yeah? He yeah, and he just came out and has come out to admit that he's a sex addict. Yeah, in recovery. Okay, So that conversation happens, and then what happens right after that conversation? Well, here was This is the really sucky part, Bobby is I had to go play a show. Oh well you had a show like that night. Yeah, twenty minutes after I found out everything, I had to go freaking play show in Orlando, Florida. Like I'll never forget that because I was just like, how do I wrap up all these emotions and then go play a show? Because every part of me wanted to cancel the show, but I'm like, I can't. I'm about to play. You know, did you did you like compartmentalized like crazy? Or did you struggle? I strong because even when I was sinking, um oh, it was I won't give up. I just like started crying. My guitar player was like you okay, and I was, but I was just like I had to just like pull it together. But it was it was tough. And then you know, I flew home the next day and then you know, the next thing, I know, I through all this clothes out like a good old movie. Oh you did that? Like you literally did that? Oh Like I literally took every piece of his clothing and threw it on the front porch. So when that happens, and if I've questions if I am out of line to say it, you know, tell me amount of line when when when that happens? And what does he say? Like hey, and how do you find by the way, let me just go back, how do you find out? So, I mean there was stuff kind of going on that it just seems very out of character. And it kept getting worse and worse. And so one of my girlfriends, actually Lee Bryce's wife, Sarah Um was a very very very good friend of mine and she still is. And she goes, I think he's cheating on you. And I was just like, you think, like, I just don't think that that. I just don't think that's what he did. And she's like, he is. And I was like, well, how would I even find that out? She's like, look at his phone bill? And I was like no. So I was in a Orlando you know, away from the house, away from Jolie and Mike, and I went on my computer and looked at the phone bill and look like, holy shit. So then you have a conversence. You can say what every want. Then you have a conversation with him. You're like, hey, what is this? So I did. Yeah, I basically regrouped and started writing down numbers and googling some of the numbers, and some of the numbers were very inappropriate, and yeah, I basically said, you know, you have twenty minutes two uh, basically call me and we need to talk. And I FaceTime them, and you weren't even together. He wasn't in Orlando. No m hm. So I face time them and then I you know, I basically said, I want you out of the house when I get home tomorrow. And then the next day when I got home. He it's hard, but he basically said, you need to go check yourself into something because figure out what what you what is going on? What this is? Okay, so it is not normal about a different part of this now. Jane Kramer song Beautiful Eyes is out and I hope you check it out and listen to it. So, okay, let me let me go from the other angle for a second. So how I'm assuming there's been a forgiveness between you two now because you're together, I'm assuming there's been a forgiveness, right, I do? I do forgive him? Okay, So here's my question. How many times does he have to go through this publicly again? Because I mean, I don't think I would have asked about it again or I felt like it was my business if I didn't see Oh, because I know you're having you had a song coming out, but I didn't know that. You know, you said it details how Janna felt during the period whenever they took a break and infidelity, Like I don't think I would have brought that back up. So was that a conversation you two had. Yeah, And you know a lot of people are like, stop dragging him through the mud, and like, look, I get that. I totally understand that. But for me, why I'm doing this is because I want to show and the journey kind of the song that I'm releasing this year. I'm releasing four songs this year, and I want to show the progression from basically broken to healed. And you know, it's it's never going to be perfect. I don't know what relationship is perfect. But what I want to say as I want to show growth and I'm going to do that through songs. And you know, he's been um, you know, I'm so proud of him and how he's opened up and as admitting his faults and and how he's going to help people so and through music. I've I've always been able to try to help people through the music. So this is it's not really even about yes, it's about his actions, but it's more so about the journey that we're going through and like where where we've been able to end up because of it all. And honestly, the crazy thing is is I'm so many times I've I've I've loved you know, I've in the past, and like, God, I wish I had that relationship because they're so happy and that's never happened in their relationship and they look so in love. I am so happy now that it honestly has happened the way that it has, because we are ten million times stronger than we were the day we got married, and I feel sing he knows my faults, he knows my ugly I know he's ugly, and we're fighting, Like that's the awesome part, Like we're fighting for each other, We're fighting for a marriage. It's like that's the marriage that I love. I've often read and again, you read these stories from certain psychologists and where they say relationships actually get stronger after someone cheats because you then determine and you you know what worth you're chasing. And you know, I read that and I don't even have a freaking girlfriend, and I'm like, what, Phil, No, We'll get to that in a second. This songs Friday. It comes up Friday. Hold on, wait a minute, Janeck and I'm gonna finish rap up on this song and you can ask whatever you want. I love having you on UM. But the song comes out Friday from Janet Cramer and you'll probably listened to this after Friday. But um, beautiful Eyes. My question is then you're putting this song out so and you're moving back to Nashville, So like, what does that whole package mean? Like, are you ready to give it another go? You know what I'm again kind of like I've always loved your outlook on things. You're gonna do what you're gonna You're gonna do the book to or you're gonna do the book, You're gonna do your tours and if people show up, we're doing it because we love it and I truly do. I'm so proud of the songs that I wrote that are coming up this year because I hope people listen. I hope it shows them growth, and I hope it shows them that through the story that we're trying, you know, great relationship through through Buck. But for me, it's like I'm gonna I'm gonna keep doing it. Because why not just so just because I don't have a label backing me, or I don't have you know, per se the entire country radio. Yes, I know I have you and you're fantastic, But you know, I don't have every single person of country radio supporting me, but I still have country fans, and those those fans are the best, and they, I think still want to hear my story, so I'm gonna keep giving them that. I think it is interesting that you have like a path you're going with these songs, because so many songs come out and just the environment that went in musically, things are coming at you ten thousand times a day, and you hear something you like it. But even me and even you like we're both in music and we may find song we like, but onto the next thing too, And our job is to listen to music. But that the things that actually have a perspective or things that have a narrative. And I think the albums and one of my favorite artists put down down like I may have two or three favorite artists like that really look forward to director its like full albums, Like I think all albums are eventually going to be albums that are about things like you're putting out all four of these songs, which tells your story? Um, because I think just big collections of songs aren't gonna cut it anymore because you can get songs all the time from anywhere, and a lot of those songs just get passed over. Because you get thirteen new songs, you may listen to seven of them anyway. That I completely agree with you, No, I completely That's why I was like, they're like, let's put an EP together. I was like this, like, honestly, I really just want to release these quarterly because it's showing the progression. It's showing you know, we aren't gonna just I don't know, they're gonna, like, I'm gonna put it anyways an EP, so it might as well just tell the story and then why pack on five other songs that you know, it doesn't really tell a story, but I'm just throwing it out there. It doesn't like that doesn't do anything for me. Yeah, the concept albums I think in the next five or so years will be most of the only full albums going out because so much music just gets passed over because there's so much coming out at once, and this is basically a concept project. Because you're going on beginning early middle late middle I would say in dish, in dish, to your story at that point, to this story, yes to this season, and then you know, next year, I'll throw something else, but I won't start over. I was like, I'm not gonna go like like I'm you know, I'm done with the cheat it on, you know, like it's done. I said it, it's over. It's that part. It's going to be done, all right. 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I'm gonna tell you, let me say this and I'll wrap up this because um, it's a nice house and you know when your husband was on your answer story, acting like he was walking up the stairs because the stairs aren't built yet and he had to walk around in fake walking. I was like, this is freaking white howl. Anyway, go ahead, what are you gonna it's really it's it's honestly, Bobby, you were at my last house, right, Okay. It's the exact same size. It just is just built differently because it's on a hill. I'm just giving you a hard time. I'm giving you a hard time, that's all. And when I sense weakness from a friend, I just pounced on it, you know. And I'm like the Queen always swear lovely, lovely, beat it. I swick just well, I'm glad you're moving back. And how's Mike feel about moving back? But I like, forget this, Like, can I please? I have to I have you on the phone. I have to talk to you ahead, you know what. Literally you could call me any time, but go ahead. Publicly I asked you to go ahead, go ahead. Really, you're like the King of Hi. I'm not going to text you back. No, that's not true. I'll text, I'll text, I'll text all day. I'm not I don't like answering the phone. You don't text me back, that's not true. It's fine. I wonder that. Let me just look at it. Hold on, hold on. First of all, I would say more than anything. People even like we look at answer stories and send messages over Insta. Okay here you are you ready for this? This is the last time. It wouldn't be like asking for something? Was it? Because I don't read that. No, it wasn't at all. You were with a friend of mine. Yes, I mean you can say who it is, right, Yeah, that's fine. Um, And so you guess took a picture and you sent me the picture and I said, what a lovely couple, and you said, ha ha ha, there's no there's nothing missing here about And then let's say you can explain to the friends so people don't think I'm be like, no, he was, Honestly, I don't even I met him that day. Yeah. Jewels, So Jewels from New Zealand. He's a dancer. He helped Shanna and I at times on Dancing with the Stars, like choreographs and stuff like when I couldn't catch up quick enough and we had to choreograph to dance, he would go and take my part, and him and I became friends and so that was He's super sweet, and we just randomly started talking because both of our flights were delayed and then we're like, oh we know people. Oh you guys didn't actually know it. I thought you guys knew each other. That's genimally just started talking because I like talking to random strangers. So there you have. Okay, what do we want to know? Okay, I don't understand. I literally do not get it. How you're single? I don't know. I asked you. I was like, hey, what do you I was like, what's up? You can set me up with but I don't understand. But I tried to set you up though not really. Yeah I did, and we won't say any names. But it was like someone that works for another radio show and it wasn't Tan your ad Um. There was somebody else and I was like, oh that's interesting, and then just kind of literally cricket. But when you just say, hey, what about this is what you said? What about this person? That's all you said? And I was like and I was like, so this is the problem, time out. This is your problem is you're not aggressive enough. I'm not aggressive enough. You're right, I am not aggressive enough. Because so if you complain, then you have to be So if you're complaining I'm not having a girlfriend, then it's your own fault because you're not being aggressive. First of all, I would you could get a girlfriend easily. Here's the thing with today. I have to be under no no, no no, not here we go. This is me me talking now. I have to be under aggressive because if I go over aggressive, that is just that one that's not a good look. In general. It's not a good look for me because then someone's posting by bones is super aggressive and it's on Instagram. So I have to really be delicate about stuff like that. I disagree with you because in today's today's society, if a girl is aggressive, we get called out. I would never call someone out, though I would never be like, look at this Instagram message that someone d in me. I worry about that every time I send someone to direct message. Okay, but I think if you, yes, some some girl maybe from Kentucky or someone that a fan, I would be then worried for you to send a direct message. But if it's someone maybe okay, let's just say for instance, okay, Nicky, right, Nicki Lazer, you dance with the dance with a start love Nick, Yes, go ahead, love her to death. So let's just use her an example. If you had a crush on her and you guys didn't really know each other, and you slip into her d M. She's not gonna blasting. Well, she might because she's a comedian. But exactly, there's always a caveat to everything you're saying. My point is, have to be sensitive about this, and I can't just hit someone up and you like, check up a penis. That's not what you do, Bobby. Here's the deal. You just need to give me a list of the top ten girls that you'd want to date, and then we can strategically talk about how you're going to approach them in a way where you feel safe. Yeah. I know, I've been on that Riya up. I heard that's not that good, though it's there, and I was, I was. I love going to be. I love living backcarrously through single people. I think it's so much fun because sometimes I dream about it. You shouldn't. It's always grass is greener. But here's the any app any situation, it's all what you get out of it. That's it. And I have been out a couple of times and had really great experiences on dates not you know nothing, I don't know. I'm not dating anybody from it. And but the problem is everybody lives in like New York and l A all the time, and I'm out there enough. But but I think it's been pretty just been fine. You know, it's like walking into a place, like a bar of people there you're just not gonna get. You're not gonna like what they stand for, You're not gonna like what they're wearing, They're not gonna like you. That's just like a dating app. So if you've got to lower your standards, who you know, why would I lower my standards? Ever? Why would I lower my standards? You're out of your mind. I think you're going to find the perfect person. No, there's not a such thing. But I think I can find the perfect person for me totally. Yeah, Okay, fine, I can agree with that, But I just think you have to you need to be more aggressive then, because if not, you're going to constantly be on Twitter being like, hey, slide into my d M. I agree with you. No part of me has said you're wrong about this. However, I will say this, it's not like, I've never had a great relationship. I've had like four them, and I've ruined them all. So I've found really, you haven't ruined them all? Yeah, because I've cut them all off early and been like, oh, I need to bail out because I'm getting like scared. You know, I've had every I've not been in a bad relationship. So are you scared? Is that? Are you scared if someone's gonna leave you? Okay? Woman? Yeah, I mean in the root of I think I'm trying to get better that. But everybody left me my whole life. And so when you get older, all those kid hurts you're just trying to get rid of and you're going to be running the rest of your life. No, I'm not, because I'm trying to fix it right now. I've been working on myself. Why is this now? The wind Down podcast? This is the dumbest thing ever done, By the way, check out Wine Down, w H I n E with Janet Kramer and Mike and uh. It really is a fantastic podcast. And they they you guys do it in Ryan's secret studio most of time, right we do. Yeah, it's super fun, but we're gonna we're gonna try to take over your studio when we come to town. We're building a big, awesome new one you'll be able to use, like one of the nine that we have here. We're going like a TV set in here because of some stuff we were doing. Perfect pretty cool, just like high five in the way and bring it podcast, okay and take us to the tour can be what is today to dot com Janna Cramer dot com and um, the song comes out Friday unless it's after Friday than it is out now and it's going to Janna talking about her story through music, and well you have do you have to make this music video? Are you gonna make a music video? I'm going to make a music video for this song. In the last song, that's gonna be weird for him do it puppets like do it Puppets so he doesn't have to be a part of it. He's not okay, he's not going to be in it, all right, you know? I, um, you know, I like you, you know, I like having you on I like you as a person. You don't text me back sometimes, but that's all right. And what ever, okay, do you think ever? Do you think ever? In our life? We will admit that we went out. Have we ever admitted that? Oh my god, you just did that. I just followed so deep. Maybe first of all, that's funny that you would say that, But maybe I'm just kidding too. Write like I tell Joe, that's really funny that. Oh yeah, but I swallow deep. That sounds bad. All that? All that that I wonder because I wonder if that's even true, and I wonder if we ever shared that story. If it is, you know what I mean. I know it's very interesting. People just have to wait till my song, wait till my songs come out. I have a four part series coming up. Hey, listen at Kramer Girl on Instagram Beautiful Eyes out Friday. It is always going to talk to you and she's taking the podcast on the road wind Down with Janna Kramer and also check it out on her radio app where if you listen to podcasts and it's good to talk to you, my friend. Good talk to you too, And let's we should do a podcast together where we just talk about, you know, how to find you a lady. We're podcasted out right. You got yours, I got mine, We've got songs, and we got a talk show. Then we got I mean, yeah, but you'd probably tough to work with. Huh, you're probably tough to work with daily huh this okay, challenge accepted, let's try it. Well, I'm just saying because I'm no, I'm tough because I have a lot to say, and I'm like, I need to say all my stuff. You have a lot to say. I mean, that's why I like having you as a guest. So I would assume you'd be tough to work with. That's not a bad thing. I think the best people are tough to work with. So before you get your butt hurt, I was being being complimentary in a weird way. Alright, No, I love it, but no, I mean it. We'd be like that the regions and regions and what a reference? Whatever? What a reference? Okay, Jane, you talked to you? Byebye? She is Janet Kramer episode on our Phones. I'm up in the studio, the radio studio, because we're recording some stuff up here. Our phone sucker, Like every once a while, this sounds like good. Yeah, I kind of glitches out. Hey, thanks to Janna. She's really a great guest. And sometimes I don't text back and I should. But that's just in general. If somebody texts me after like a p M, I'm asleep, and then when I wake up at four AM, I don't text on back right there because I don't want to wake them up, And then by the time I look at it again, it's noon and I've forgotten. It's a weird cycle. It's a weird texting cycle. I live in. Thank you all pretty good though, huh that was good? Pretty good? But you don't even know if that's true. I kidding or sometimes about about what you know about her good good. All right, there you go, Thank you, episod one sixteen of the Boby Cast. For sure to check out Wine Down with Jane Kramer. By the way, let me suggest to you check out Amy's podcast Four Things with Amy Brown and The Velvet's Edge podcast. If you like all those, you may like all those all right by everybody,