Growth Grief and The Courage to Heal w/ King Jay Barnett Part 2.

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Speaker 1: Calling all my sweeties to the forefront.

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Speaker 2: I'm your host, and this is the Keeping Positive Sweetish.

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Speaker 1: Show, and everybody can't go.

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Speaker 2: And Tyler he was on here and he said, it's like a rocket ship. You know, you have boosters, but when it gets to a certain yeah.

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Speaker 3: When it breaks that stratosphere, stuff has to fall off because it'll slow it down.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 1: Have you dealt with that?

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Speaker 3: It's been It's been hard, uh for me, because I care so much about people. But then on the other side, the purpose creates the distance because they can't keep up, you know what I'm saying. And so and I'm sure like because like there's times literally I'll be like.

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Speaker 4: God, God is so funny with me. Like I'll meet somebody.

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Speaker 3: I'll be like, God, they cool, and you know, we'll get to chopping it up man, And all of a sudden.

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Speaker 4: I got it.

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Speaker 3: I'm on the road for like, and then try to keep up. But and God was speaking to me, you know, he said, you, i'mna, I have to assign certain peoples to where you are because what we carry, as massive as it is and as powerful as it is, it's too delicate to be put in the wrong hand.

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Speaker 1: Mismanaged.

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Speaker 4: And it's too delicate to be mismanaged.

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Speaker 3: So there's some friendships that I've had to grieve and I've had to have some conversation you know, with some friends that they accepted it, and he was like, man, Jay, we just you know, we're just so used to what it was.

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Speaker 4: And it ain't that no more.

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Speaker 3: And the fear for a lot of people when God starts to expand those that whoever He's handpicked and chose is nobody wants to be left behind. And that's what it is. And so I've had to learn that I can't bring everybody. And I think right now I have the perfect team around me. It took years to find the right fit people that that you can trust with your career. You know what I'm saying, because that's big. But through much prayer, it's just my mom man interceding for me. And then there's a few ladies that intercede along with her, some some some old saints. Man that that gonna get up there in the morning and call on God man, and that gonna see and that gonna say, hey, King, watch out for this and watch out for that.

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Speaker 4: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Man, That that's just such a blessing to have people because when we're doing what we do, uh, we you know, that's some things that we overlook that we miss. And sometimes a snake do get in the camp and I never forget. My mom told me about this particular person man. She woke about her sleep and called me, God said, don't share nothing else with them.

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Speaker 2: My mama had a dream about somebody too, that's crazy, Mama's. My mama had a dream that a friend of mine was living with me and poisoning my food.

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Speaker 1: And she was like, please, she said, just be careful.

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Speaker 2: And she was like, I don't think it's she would literally do that, but she's poisoning to your life.

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Speaker 1: I said, my God today, as you say, no, it was.

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Speaker 3: It's real and we need it because we don't because a husband is a covering as much as a wife is a covering.

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Speaker 4: We don't have that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: So we so we need it and I welcome it. Like before I get on the stage, my mother prays, yeah. And when I get off the stage, she prayed and she says, I'll do this till your wife come.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because she says.

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Speaker 3: I need you to be covered because when I get on stage and open up myself.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and you notice from playing.

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Speaker 3: The character you you you, you have to become void, so the character feels you know what I'm saying. And so I have to be open for God to pour into me what the people need, no matter how much I study, no matter how much I know, and the ingenuity of the concepts and all of that, and then I get off stage, all the virtue is gone.

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Speaker 4: And recently.

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Speaker 3: I was in Detroit and it was a very prophetic move that I thought it was just gonna be a regular men's retreat and it turned into me speaking in some men's life. And I got off stage and CJ wasn't with me, but the guy had some brothers who were some solid brothers, and they walked into the back and I was literally.

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Speaker 4: Like, I got to call my mama, call my mom.

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Speaker 3: Immediately. I was just like I said, Mama, pray. I was so drained.

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Speaker 2: It's like Jesus when he would feed the fish and bread and.

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Speaker 3: The reason you gotta be prayed over because that is your most vulnerable state. And I watched too many men fall yep, because if you don't have anybody to cover you because come so vulnerable and you'll find yourself yourself in a vulnerable state.

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Speaker 4: And so you know, I just thank God that you have their mother.

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Speaker 3: Manuse like we have a huge assignment we do.

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Speaker 2: And it's like you said, the people like making sure have you have you noticed like as you go closer to God that you have a distaste for things that you used to like love and then you see like you're around people are like what, Yeah, I'm so grateful that the people around me like I don't have to worry about that.

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Speaker 3: You know, yes, yes, I like there's a lot like you know, my team now is really good, but they've even grown to understand the things I have a distaste for. Ye Like when I'm on set, they know you know what I mean, pray because we've been on set times filming and like there's a breakthrough happening for people and as a breakthrough happening for people, and I'll tell them like, hey, prayer may break out during this episode because if you're talking to somebody who is on a healing journey and I'm talking about deep things and things that have a stronghold on people, because I know I carry a breaker's annointing. You get around me, you're gonna get set free that there's no doubt about it. You cannot stay the same around me, can you see?

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Speaker 4: Jay? Okay, Yeah, you can't stay the same around me. You cannot.

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Speaker 3: And that's not an arrogant but that's what God is giving me. It's a breakers of nainting, which is why he placed me in the mental health space that I ain't got to lay hands on you. That that's such a power, in my words, that would shift that stronghold, that spirit, that this ease that you have and I know that, and then knowing that the devil knows that. So that's times I've gotten off stage, I've saw people be set free. I've watched me and break down and cry, and I'll get off stage and the enemy will say, but your dad ain't.

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Speaker 4: Call you.

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Speaker 2: M M.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. Yes, you know you still you know want to be fathered. You know what I mean? Because I do. And you know, I'm not in a place where I'm like, oh, I want to be father, But.

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Speaker 3: There's part of me that would love to have conversations with him that pours into me and not this kind of like hey, just you know where you're at to day, Like, you know what I mean, how's travel like to have a word from him?

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Speaker 1: Yes, you know what I'm saying, relations.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, And so the enemy will whisper that because I hear men say, man, doctor j my god, brother, you broke something in me. And I have to get on the phone to sell that door. Yeah, because if that door stays open, I'll be depressed.

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Speaker 1: With three days.

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Speaker 3: Who I usually called my mother and I usually usually talk with her. Bishop Jakes has been so pivotal in this space. Man, Bishop Borders. You know, uh, two strong men of God that have walked through things, that have overcome, that know the Bible, but no life. Their season not just in the world, but they're season in life, you know what I mean. So they got ranged. You know, they've been where I'm at. And Bishop scares me all the time. He's like, you got a strong call. I wouldn't want to be you. I'm on my way out. It's on you now. I'd be like, listen, man, But you know he told me. He said, he said, you're healing ancient wounds and men, and he said you're under unopened heaven. So whatever you ask God for just want to give it, just keep walking in it. And he told me this a couple of weeks ago, and it just blessed me. He said, you don't have to walk this out by yourself. I'm here because it's scary, man.

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Speaker 1: And that's probably what you want to hear from your father.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's scary, man.

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Speaker 3: And I think because he told me, Bishop said, I pour into you because I see the trajectory you on. You're on the same trajectory I was on. Yeah, And I remember I spent like five hours with him and we was walking in his backyard and he said, I brought you out here so you can see where you're going. And this is like some couple of years ago, and he said, you're on that trajectory. And he said build the right team, and he said build what God is showing you.

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Speaker 4: And when he said that, it just did something in me.

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Speaker 3: And to have him because we're at a season and where you gotta talk to the Dollers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, when you say that, that is who tolerance to me.

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Speaker 3: I gotta talk to the Jakes, and you gotta talk to the open gotta talk to.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: You know the avadun like you have to sit with those people. And it's not that we can't sit down here, but when you're called up, you have to be talking to people who are up.

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Speaker 1: Come on, say it again.

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Speaker 3: When you're called up, you have to be talking to people who are up, because if you go down, you feel bad. You feel guilty for being up, survivors guilt because now down makes you feel a certain type of way. Well, I normally don't eat at places like this, and I mean, I guess everything has to be like I'm sorry that I want a good meal and again, and it's not saying and that's what God is really training me to understand.

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Speaker 4: That you can't go back to down. And I want to be clear.

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Speaker 3: That's not say that I can't come down to mountain, to the mountain and speak to you, but I have to understand that my conversations and my relationship.

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Speaker 4: Has to be up.

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Speaker 3: Yes, because everybody that's down don't don't want to do the work.

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Speaker 4: To be not just to be called up, but what it requires to go up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because there's a level, like the word that comes to me, you have to abnegate, you have to deny yourself to go up. There're sycrifices that you have to make. There's things that you have to say no to yes and say no with such a confidence to say Yep. Maybe a good opportunity, but it's not for me.

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Speaker 2: Yes. My friend told me that, she said, you say no so easily, like that's my Favorit word no, because.

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Speaker 4: What I say no to gives power to what I say yes to.

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Speaker 1: That's a word, Doc, you're preaching now, that's a word.

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Speaker 3: It gives power to my yes. So I gotta say no. I can't. I can't make that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm free exactly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: You talk about sacrifices.

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Speaker 2: What is one of the biggest sacrifices you've had to make to be doctor King J.

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Speaker 1: Barnett like to be who you are?

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Speaker 4: Dying to myself every.

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Speaker 1: Day daily, that's a daily thing, a daily.

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Speaker 4: Thing, surrendering. Yeah, And I truly believe.

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Speaker 3: My intercessor was talking to me the other day and she said she was giving me this word that God gave it for me. And she says, man, it's your surrender that is provoking God to expand your territory. Yeah, it's a surrender because Christal, that's time. I don't want to I don't want to give a word. I don't want to speak to the brothers because sometimes I need a word. You know what I'm saying. There's times that I walk in my door after men blowing up my DM and you know what I'm saying. After the DNM king episode there with Kirk Franklin, my brother love him and what he's doing with his platform and the amount of men that were blowing up my DMS man, and I'm just like because when the episode hit, I was in a good space mentally, but I wasn't in a good space emotionally.

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Speaker 4: Because emotionally my.

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Speaker 3: Heart is like, man, dude, why do I have to keep doing this alone? Emotionally mentally because of the athlete and mean like let's go to.

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Speaker 1: Work, Yes, yes, let's go to work.

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Speaker 3: But emotionally, so all of these men are like, bro, man this episode. Man, I got dudes streamshotting me that they're booking therapy sessions after the episode. Wives are d M and me said, you are helping me understand my husband. Wow, this is what he's been trying to tell me.

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Speaker 2: And sometimes you need to hear that from a different perspective to understand.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, mothers that is like doctor J can we can I get my son? And I'm like, man, I don't see patience and clients anymore, you know, and just like trying to find resources for them.

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Speaker 4: And I'm saying that, God, I need a resource.

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Speaker 3: Come on, like Christy that week, that thing I needed the biggest hug, Like I mean, I just needed the physical embrace of nothing sexual, but just the connection of like, man, let me hold you in this sex because because because we don't hear men talk about that, I've had a young lady that I was talking to and she says, what do you think that you need? Mostly as you were, I said, hug.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes it's just embrace, not sexually.

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Speaker 3: It ain't no no physical because I'm in a place where it's like just what a hug does, the restoration and even understanding that we need about four to six hugs a daily as human beings. It's good for our mental state.

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Speaker 4: It's good.

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Speaker 3: That's serotonin because when you get a hug, it creates a sense of belonging and connection. And sometimes I feel lonely doing the work because I look around at the mountain top and there's not a lot of men that think on this level. There's a lot of men that are educational and they have the acimen educational, but the spiritual thing that I have they don't have because I'm not always moving clinically, you know, and theoretically. Sometimes it's through revelation, you know what I'm saying. It's not information, you know what I mean. So there's times where it's like I need to be around somebody who understands a shift spit, yeah, you know, and not always be so technical. And I'm like, God, I need to be talk to somebody about this dream I just had, right And I'll call my mom and she'll be like she was like King, Like she used to call me Keen.

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Speaker 4: Now she called me Doc. She's Doc. You had her dreams lately, as aid a.

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Speaker 3: Matter of fact, Mama, because I don't want to bother her with stuff like that. So, you know, I said, Mama, you kept it processed something because if Mama go, you know, start.

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Speaker 4: Digging, man. And she's and she's been.

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Speaker 3: Digging a lot lately, really because when I'm on the road a lot.

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Speaker 4: She did.

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Speaker 3: She said, how you feeling, Doc? I said, I'm all right, Mama, you know, how was it?

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Speaker 4: How was it meeting.

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Speaker 3: I said it was good, Man, would blessing you know, life da dah dah.

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Speaker 4: And she'll be like, now, how.

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Speaker 3: You really feeling? I said, Mama, Man, it's rough. Give me the real I said, Mama is hard out here. She'd be like, baby, I'm praying for you, man, I'm praying. So it's coming. She coming.

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Speaker 4: Listen, listen, Chris, I said, Mama, you said this five years ago. Negro Stop.

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Speaker 1: Where is she?

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Speaker 4: Stop? Man?

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Speaker 3: And we will laugh about it. But you know, that sycrifice, man, is daily. I have to give it back to him. And what we've been giving are gifts because what is extraordinary to others, it's just ordered. We just do what we do, you know. So the sycrifice is giving it back to him. And I would say this to anybody that if God has given you a gift the ministry, a gift of business, a gift of arts, a gift the law, a gift of political science, a gift of exercise, fitness, whatever it is, give it back to him.

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Speaker 4: Man.

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Speaker 3: That's what keeps me humble because I'll never forget being under that bed. So no amount of money, yeah, success, fame, whatever, make me forget.

00:18:06
Speaker 1: That, forget that moment.

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Speaker 3: And it's because because people are like, man, you so humble, you so approached it. I'm like, I was under a bed trying to die. Wow, how dare I put my nose in the air like im? Because guess what, We're all one phone call, one text, one conversation away from being in a depressed state. Because all it takes is a conversation for somebody to say, hey, the doctor on the phone. You know what I'm saying, for somebody to say, hey, so and so was an accident. Hey, we're gonna let you go. So you you how how dare I?

00:18:45
Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: So when I tell brothers when they admire me, I'm like, brother.

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Speaker 4: I'm still on my own journey.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Daily, I got to get on my knees and give this thing back to him. I got to give my flush back to him. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, because you know what I mean. I want to be outside too, not in that way, but you know there's times I want to just go out left my hair.

00:19:06
Speaker 4: Now. You know, I'm not a drink or smoker, but.

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Speaker 3: That's time I just want to be like you know what, I want to go to a little chill spot, tonight. But then I just got it. You can't go, Jane, you can't go. So I got to curate a space or or or I got to get with people like Crystal.

00:19:20
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

00:19:21
Speaker 3: Where where secluded and where folks ain't got their phones out?

00:19:25
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. We got to bring him on a boat day. It's a good time. Man.

00:19:31
Speaker 1: Ain't no recordings?

00:19:33
Speaker 3: When I tell you, I love how you know that space is where we can go in and it's just like, ain't nobody man, and we all in the moment.

00:19:40
Speaker 1: I did that for my birthday last year.

00:19:41
Speaker 2: I did a basement party at my house and had everybody signed N d a's and then.

00:19:47
Speaker 1: Yeah we couldn't You couldn't get downstairs with your phone.

00:19:49
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I love it.

00:19:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, we had a ball.

00:19:52
Speaker 4: Listen, listen have you had have you had a dumb shell podcast?

00:19:58
Speaker 1: I haven't know about love Michelle.

00:20:00
Speaker 3: So Michelle, you gotta do a podcast, Michelle, and I like this man that is my dog man.

00:20:06
Speaker 4: I love Michelle. Michelle.

00:20:08
Speaker 3: One thing Michelle gonna call me Doc Apostle, Bishop Spangelists. Make sure you got them in DA.

00:20:17
Speaker 1: Make sure you listen. Sign them. Everybody listen. I don't care how long you know on them.

00:20:24
Speaker 2: I made my family signed das before they come to my house because a slipping fallen Zubie.

00:20:31
Speaker 4: I'm serious, man, Listen, Michelle, I love you man.

00:20:35
Speaker 3: Listen, and not now and now Chrystal, Now Chrystal telling me about like listen, see don't getting them das together?

00:20:41
Speaker 1: Man, Yes, appearance releases and everything.

00:20:45
Speaker 3: Okay, listen, but it has been It's been a beautiful journey though, to see what God has done in my life and then and then too, just to be in spaces like you, because to sit in the space with you was like meeting another avenger.

00:21:04
Speaker 1: Wow. I love that.

00:21:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, like when we get together. Think about when you get together with other gifted people yes, and spiritually sound yes, and mentally grounded and emotional competent people.

00:21:17
Speaker 1: Yes, there's a shift.

00:21:19
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're like dang.

00:21:28
Speaker 3: Seriously, yeah, man, where you be And it's just such a and it's such a restorative time.

00:21:36
Speaker 4: I'm encouraged being here today with you. Thank you. I'm encouraged. I feel like though, for I feel like I can run on.

00:21:41
Speaker 2: Come on now and see what you ain't gonna be an You've accomplished so much.

00:21:47
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you.

00:21:48
Speaker 2: But the latest thing you've done, you and doctor Joel Tudman have acquired a four location health group.

00:21:53
Speaker 1: Tell you more about this.

00:21:54
Speaker 2: Because you've thrived in the mental health space via social media and all over the world, but now you're bringing it home to Dallas.

00:22:01
Speaker 4: Yes, it has been a god thing. You know.

00:22:06
Speaker 3: I've always wanted to own my own practice, but the way this thing happened was truly a God thing. Sitting in a meeting and in the midst of the meeting, I'm sitting I felt the lady's shift in the meeting. I felt, I said, man, this lady is a seer. She paused the meeting and she says, doctor j I just see you in this building and this programs and I'm sitting there and all stuff that God has showed me. And so she ended with that, and then she goes, have you ever thought about owning your own mental health practice?

00:22:45
Speaker 4: I said no.

00:22:47
Speaker 3: She says, well, someone very close to me is selling that practice. The husband is retiring and they want to sell the practice. So make a loan story short. She says, I'll put you guys in an email. I go visit the lady, I go visit. The lady doesn't look like us. Caucasian lady. Yeah, sit down. She had researched me. But you know it's different when you meet somebody. We get the talking and she says, what got you into mental health? And I shared my story and she was just day in tears and she said, you really love people, don't you. I said absolutely. I said I don't care if they white, black, you know, with color. I said, I love. I want to see people well. And I said, more importantly, I want to see men well. And she said to me, she said, I would love to see more men come into my practice. And the lady said, my practice is listed at.

00:23:54
Speaker 4: One point two million revenue.

00:23:59
Speaker 3: And he says, but for you, I'll give it to you half of that.

00:24:06
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:24:08
Speaker 3: And I was like, so Joel, So Joel is in town preaching. So we go to dinner. I said, bro, I just had this meeting. This lady wants me to consider buying a practice. And Joe, what dog you lie? We gotta do it, man, I said, yeah, he said we And so I said, he said, I mean, he said, if you have me, he said yeah, I said, he said, I said, what you want for I said, j T, I got, I got fifty on me.

00:24:43
Speaker 4: Now, I said, real, j you'll see he's.

00:24:49
Speaker 3: Well no, because I already know he's going to be polished doctor Joel that I love you, bro, But you know, he was like now, So we started talking. So we do a meeting and we meet with the owner and her husband. So we meet with them. She sends an email and she says, I want you guys to consider buying my practice. I was like, So we go look at all for the location beautiful, and this lady was on him. So we got a team together to do the due diligence, to look under the hood, to check the.

00:25:24
Speaker 4: Financials and the profit and losses. All of that.

00:25:27
Speaker 3: Everything checks out. So we were going to go the SBA route. But then all of a sudden, the lady says, make me an offer.

00:25:39
Speaker 4: Now.

00:25:39
Speaker 3: She gave us one number. Then she turned around and said make her an offer.

00:25:45
Speaker 1: God all in the midst of this.

00:25:47
Speaker 3: Thing, I said, j T, Dog, I'm telling you man, God is gonna do it. So Mama married. I took she had a postcard. When we went by the first office, he had a postcard. I took it home and put it in the Bible and I lifted before God. I said, God, if it's your will, yeah, I'll do it. But if it's not, then I sent my Bible nowt and walked out. My mother called me that night and said, dot God.

00:26:22
Speaker 4: Is going to give you that practice.

00:26:25
Speaker 3: Wow, I said, Mama, because it took.

00:26:29
Speaker 4: This process was about three months. Christians.

00:26:31
Speaker 1: If people don't understand, this.

00:26:32
Speaker 3: Is acquisitions is a lot of work. It's a lot of work. And I'm in San Diego visiting my therapist. I took eight days off. I said I need to go by the water and pray. The second day I was in San Diego, Jake with Joe. We got off the phone and I said, Man, he said, Man, what do you think. So the broker says, hey, somebody just made us a cash offer, said man j T.

00:27:00
Speaker 4: The broker said the broke.

00:27:02
Speaker 3: I felt he was a little you know, I ain't gonna say, but I didn't think he wanted us. So the broker says, hey, doctor j Doctor Joe, somebody's made a cash offer and the owner is going to review it. And I told Joe, I said, man, bro we can chock it up. Man, somebody will make her cash offer. Man I said, she don'na take that. Joe Man, trust God Man, I said, j T, I trust God, but right now it's white man. I said, j T, I trust God. But bro I'm just The next morning, I get an email from the broker. The owner accepted, y'all offer.

00:27:45
Speaker 1: Trust God Man.

00:27:47
Speaker 4: So I call him right I'm on east coat.

00:27:49
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm on the west coast, so it's I'm like, it's six o'clock my time.

00:27:53
Speaker 4: I'm at the gym, so I'm hype ready. I'm like crying.

00:27:57
Speaker 3: I call him. I think he's in and flow, so he's like three hours ahead. Yeah, I said, j T, you ain't gonna bleed it what I said, she accepted the offer. You Oh, I love my brother. I told you God, we're gonna do this thing.

00:28:21
Speaker 4: And sure enough.

00:28:21
Speaker 3: Man, this lady Crystal, she told me, h at our meeting, she said, I have fifteen.

00:28:30
Speaker 1: Offers because people want that.

00:28:33
Speaker 3: She said, I had fifteen offers, but it was you guys the entire time.

00:28:39
Speaker 1: I know it was your heart for the people, and that's what she said.

00:28:43
Speaker 3: She said, venture capitalists so many people that offer money because the revenue and the upside is astronomical. But she said it was your heart, you and doctor Joe and the business actmen, and just the integrity that you guys move in. And I said, what made you choose us? She said, you guys were always a right choice. She said I had fifteen cash offers. And she said, I'm excited to see what you guys do with my baby. She says, I'm not going anywhere. She said, I want you guys to lead it. I want you guys to expand it, diversify it, and all the things, and so man, when I tell you.

00:29:29
Speaker 4: And then.

00:29:31
Speaker 3: About three weeks ago, I get a call from a brother who's a pastor, who calls and says, hey, man, why didn't you tell.

00:29:40
Speaker 4: Me what you and Joel was doing. I said, well, I had to call you first.

00:29:44
Speaker 3: And he said, I'm calling you because I have a building that's paid for in Chicago. And he said, what do you want to do with it? I said, definitely mental health. He said, either you could take a whole floor, you could take the whole building. I said, man, what's it like. I said, what's the catch? He said, that's no catch. He says, I live in New York and he said, I own a lot of property.

00:30:11
Speaker 4: Jay and I want to give you this building.

00:30:14
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:30:15
Speaker 3: Gave me the building. He said, I want to give you the deed. He said, come look at it. I want you to walk through it. Wow, he said, I want you. And then another brother called this is. Another brother called wow and said, brother, how much money do you need? I said, I don't need nothing. He said, I just want to get behind what you're doing. This brother said, well, when you do it, just know that you got a million dollars behind the next project. My God, there's nothing, just walking in faith and just trusting God.

00:30:50
Speaker 4: When he told me to go back to school.

00:30:52
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and look what yes, obedience.

00:30:57
Speaker 4: He told me. God told me to go back to school. In twenty fifty, did you question that? Why do I do it?

00:31:03
Speaker 3: And I was working in a group home, volunteer for all girls group home, and I had a program for girls that were battling anxiety and depression. And Alisa Jarrett, the director of Black Women, she said, Jay, you need to go back to school. She said, Jay, you good at this. You need to be a therapist. I said, Miss Alicia, by this time I had been in therapy. I was thirty three years old. She said, Jay, I said, Miss Alicia. I'm thirty three. I ain't going back no school.

00:31:30
Speaker 4: Man.

00:31:30
Speaker 3: If this bachelors don't do it, I can't. I can't do it. I went home and God arrested me. God said, go back to school. Something is coming, That's what he said. This is twenty fifteen, twenty twenty.

00:31:45
Speaker 1: For therapy was even like before therapy, come.

00:31:50
Speaker 3: On now, and twenty twenty happened, and George Floyd passed, and I started talking about mental health and black men to Roder. She came across my video, brought me on her team.

00:32:05
Speaker 4: Dropped just he'll Bro.

00:32:06
Speaker 3: Right after that, in August, I'm writing just here Bro, just because God told me, he said, write it down. I heard the name just here Bro. I wrote the book. A year later, Meet Hope Allen turned Just here Bro into a tour.

00:32:19
Speaker 4: We do.

00:32:20
Speaker 3: We tour three years, thirty six cities, eighteen thousand men.

00:32:25
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:32:26
Speaker 3: Then you know what I'm saying. I get a book deal. Then it's like all this just And I heard God say to me, your obedience has provoked me the same as abraham obedience provoked him.

00:32:41
Speaker 1: Yes.

00:32:42
Speaker 3: Yes, And I'm always been fascinated by Abraham because it's like, how do you, how do you be called a friend of God? Yes, right to be considered a friend. And I was asking God. He said, the.

00:32:54
Speaker 4: Way he trusts me, trust the way he trusts him.

00:32:58
Speaker 3: To say, Hey, the very son that I gave you, I'm not calling you the psychophicer.

00:33:03
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:33:04
Speaker 4: But to think that abraham faith was so strong in God that he was walking in faith and didn't even know it because he looked at the scripture said, he looked at his servant and said, me and the lad are going to worship and we will be.

00:33:21
Speaker 1: Back down because he knew not.

00:33:22
Speaker 4: Knowing that there was a ram in the bush.

00:33:24
Speaker 1: Yes, he had faith. That's different kind of faith, that's different.

00:33:28
Speaker 3: So when he told me to go, I was I was in a relationship, engaged at thirty three.

00:33:34
Speaker 2: Wow.

00:33:36
Speaker 4: And I'm like I'm going back, like we're godege to what?

00:33:40
Speaker 3: And I'm like, you know, I just hear God, Jay, Really you heard God?

00:33:47
Speaker 4: Not oh man?

00:33:49
Speaker 3: Like, and this is talking to people about what God has said to you, Man is so dangerous.

00:33:54
Speaker 1: No, seriously, I learned.

00:33:57
Speaker 3: That because it was just like it broke my spirit, it broke my confidence.

00:34:02
Speaker 4: And then she did call me when I was on Shearon Shepard Show. She texted me.

00:34:05
Speaker 3: She DM me matter of fact, it said to watch a man walk in what God said?

00:34:12
Speaker 4: She says, Jay, she's married now and so God bless her.

00:34:18
Speaker 3: But she said, Jay, the respect that I have for you because I've never seen a man walk in something that he felt laying to do. Yeah, And I said, when God saved my life, I'm like, I know I don't owe God, but I've always felt that and I had known the choice, but the trust that's how we got here. I told Joe.

00:34:42
Speaker 4: I was like Nigga, I said, Bro, I woke up the other morning and I said, j T what he'd be like.

00:34:51
Speaker 3: Sometimes I love a begger. Sometimes he because he had so much going on. What I said, Bro, we really own yes practice.

00:35:01
Speaker 2: It's crazy, and I want people to understand because I have a friend whose family owns a really big one here in Atlanta. To understand one how hard it is to get it from the ground up. People would cut off a left foot to have somebody who's already built it up and say, here are my books, here's the business, like the hard.

00:35:21
Speaker 1: Part is already over. Like literally, they don't understand how hard it is.

00:35:25
Speaker 3: Lady built this thing for nine years. Yeah, and she is willingly handed and over.

00:35:31
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, that is that in itself is a huge blessing.

00:35:35
Speaker 3: I'm just like, you know, we was like we have weekly calls with her because you know, she's going to stay on until, you know, till she fully transitioned out.

00:35:43
Speaker 4: And she said to us, she says, guys, I'm not going anywhere.

00:35:46
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be right here, you know, because I'm like, you know, we assembling a great team.

00:35:50
Speaker 4: Yeah, and she's so excited for us.

00:35:53
Speaker 1: That's amazing.

00:35:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like she gets on the call, guys, how do y'all feel being older?

00:35:59
Speaker 1: What's her name?

00:36:00
Speaker 4: Name is Rebecca?

00:36:01
Speaker 2: Rebecca Man, how do you guys feel?

00:36:05
Speaker 4: And Jobby.

00:36:09
Speaker 3: Man, Oh, it's scary And I'm like, Rebecca, I'm like, I don't know, like it's so surreal.

00:36:16
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:36:17
Speaker 4: And I love the way God deals with me because he said, believe.

00:36:20
Speaker 1: It, you believe it.

00:36:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, Studio Beatings that I put you in this position because because I'm like, now, because we're looking to expand not only in Chicago but in Florida.

00:36:32
Speaker 4: And God said, I've already made the way, you know what I mean.

00:36:36
Speaker 3: But I've always had this faith about God that was restored through therapy. Even when I was a kid with my parents divorced, we grew up in Mississippi, and I told my mom, I said, you got to get us out of here.

00:36:51
Speaker 4: And my mom said, baby, I don't know where we're going.

00:36:53
Speaker 3: So it was either Memphis because we live North Mississippi, which is like an hour from Memphis.

00:36:58
Speaker 4: Memphis is just second cousin Mississippy. I said, So we went to Texas to visit some of her friends.

00:37:06
Speaker 3: And this was in July, for the fourth of July in nineteen ninety six, and I said, Mama, I would like to move to Texas. Jay, we ain't moving. My mom had a great job. So I started packing stuff in the house.

00:37:23
Speaker 4: True story true.

00:37:25
Speaker 3: I started packing stuff in the house, boxing it up, boxing it up, and my mama came home one day. Jay stopped boxing up my stuff. Boy, I said, Mama, we moving. I said, God said, we moving. Mama, I'm telling you we're getting out of here. Because I did not want to go to ninth grade in Mississippi. Man like, I was like, Mama, I do not want to I do not want to go to school here. Because my parents' divorce was so public and there was such shame around it, and I knew my mom did not want to stay there because she was the first lady and everybody knew what had happened when it went down, And I can feel her shame even at the age of thirteen. Man, my mama came home August tenth. This is my mind remembers these days. August tenth, she pulled in the yard with a U Haul truck. Wow, I said, Mama, she said, She said, I said, Mama, what you do?

00:38:21
Speaker 4: She had got a severage package from her job.

00:38:23
Speaker 2: Wow.

00:38:25
Speaker 3: Her vehicle that she had. She had to give it back to the job. She couldn't take it out of state. And by the time she walked through the house, she said, this board and packed up all my stuff. My neighbor the month, Lamont Thomas said, came over from the neighborhood. He was my classmate. He said, JJ, where y'all going. I said, man, we're going to take He started crying. He was like, man, my man, my friend leave it. Because he lived directly across the street. He came over and helped us pack the truck. My mama drove that U Haul truck Texas. So my faith has and God brought me to my faith in therapy. When I started healing, he said, remember what I did.

00:39:13
Speaker 2: Remember the same way those takes playback of the bad times.

00:39:18
Speaker 1: You got to remember how God got it you. Yeah, that's real.

00:39:22
Speaker 4: So I never forget that. And how easily do we forget?

00:39:27
Speaker 2: Very easy? Oh my goodness, we get him the real quick. But he'll remind you.

00:39:33
Speaker 3: Faithful Christ he is even when we're not faithful, even when we are not on the right path. And I had to learn even when we're on the wrong path, we're on the right path because again he's the author the finish it. So you may be over here, don't worry. And that's what I love about him, man, that he's not he's not he's not sadistic. He's not trying to punish us and trying to kill us. He's just trying to prune us. You know what I'm saying. For assignment, So that that that my life is a completely faith journey. I'm like, yeah, God, I got faith for everything, but this whole spouse thing, Like I don't know what's happening in that day.

00:40:15
Speaker 2: She's coming, Jaye, We're gonna touch a degree right nowsten.

00:40:19
Speaker 3: I need to touch agree with your crystal couse. Everybody's been saying she's coming. Man, Listen, listen, I'm saying this.

00:40:25
Speaker 4: I'm it. Wasn't she come or not? I'm okay, And you.

00:40:29
Speaker 1: Know what I feel like when you get there, she's gonna come. That's right me too. I'm like, I'm good.

00:40:35
Speaker 4: I'm good. I'm good, so good.

00:40:37
Speaker 1: That is so true.

00:40:39
Speaker 3: I am good, man, I am good. I'm in my forties, thriving.

00:40:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:40:45
Speaker 4: No, I'm in my thirties.

00:40:46
Speaker 1: I'm in my twenties.

00:40:48
Speaker 3: She's twenty five. I'm thirty two. Y'all remember that, thirty two, twenty five. So you in my birthday next year and you go, Jay happy, thirty third.

00:40:58
Speaker 1: There we go.

00:40:58
Speaker 3: Do not ask me what my birthday? Well, my numbers, I'm telling you right now it's thirty two.

00:41:04
Speaker 4: Yeah. I'm at peace, man.

00:41:05
Speaker 1: I love that.

00:41:06
Speaker 4: I'm at peace. Man.

00:41:07
Speaker 1: You have to be.

00:41:08
Speaker 2: I think that's important to find peace wherever you are in your life, you know, and then everything that's supposed to become.

00:41:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, I ain't, Crystal, I ain't worried about nothing, be anxious, anxious for nothing, that's it. Pray about everything. Yes, I gotta go to bed, baby, because we looking good for twenty five thirty two. Listen, and so I don't need no bags under my eyes. I got just a little great specs.

00:41:33
Speaker 1: This is all my one in my age right here. I'll be pulling it out though no I got like, is it a gray?

00:41:39
Speaker 3: I'm like no, you like you know, listen, I just got a little dash of salt in my beard.

00:41:45
Speaker 4: Other than that, this is none of my hand. Here is great. Like I may got a little, but I'm not going to let these folk grade me out.

00:41:51
Speaker 2: I know that's right. Listen, because they will. You saw I would have no Obama. That man came in with a full head of black hair and left out.

00:42:01
Speaker 4: Hey, that's stress to do it.

00:42:03
Speaker 1: But it will do it. It's a real thing. It's a real thing.

00:42:06
Speaker 2: Speaking of stress and balance, you have a new book called Pursuing Pace.

00:42:11
Speaker 4: Oh man, it's all.

00:42:12
Speaker 1: About the pace.

00:42:13
Speaker 2: People feel like this marathon is about sprinting, but that pace is everything.

00:42:17
Speaker 1: Let's talk about that.

00:42:18
Speaker 3: So Pursuing Pace drops in twenty twenty seven. I signed with Pingrain Random House. I'm so excited about this project. But this book came about in twenty twenty three. Oh wow, I was on the road touring, you know, pouring into men, and I was.

00:42:37
Speaker 4: Sleep literally woke up in my bed, set up in my bed and.

00:42:41
Speaker 3: Heard pursue pace, and God was telling me to slow now, not stop, but slow now. Pace doesn't mean you're going slow. It means you have to find a rhythm. Yeah, And so I'm excited for people and pace. It's also that I created a new acronym for it is the pathways to alleviating cognitive exhaustion. Most of us are exhausted cognitively and we cannot make health these decisions because we're so tired exhausted. So in this book, man, I am talking about finding your pace. I'm talking about discovering rhythm. But then I'm also talking about not comparing your race to others, you know what I mean. So I think and I'm sharing stories because again I'm going back to Bishop. Bishop was hard on me when I was on tour. He said, you better slow down because man, I was just poor and poor and poored and took sick, took sick.

00:43:45
Speaker 4: I was on stage and forgot everything.

00:43:49
Speaker 3: On stage, forgot everything, and had a mental breakdown at home and checked myself into an institution in San Diego and that when it became real at that moment and went into the doctor. And I've shared this especially brothers. I'm thirty two, but I'm for you brothers that are thirty five plus and forty plus go to the doctor like brothers think just because women are aging. And again, you know, I had the opportunity to walk with my mother. She's had a hysterectomy. And again I'm the only son that at the time caring for her perimenopause when it started happening. My bachelor's in science and anatomy physiology, so I understood the reproductive system and helping her understand because there was this fear that she had about going to the doctor and having that procedure. And so what is happening with the body is the body is changing hormonally. And men think that's just happening to women, but it's happened in us. Two brothers, you know what I mean. When your testars level starts, the lord starts to dip, you see, man breast starts to protrude, that's estrogen.

00:45:03
Speaker 4: Because our body is taking a change, you know what I'm saying.

00:45:06
Speaker 3: So what is happening is the woman, the estrogen levels are increasing, so which is shifting her harmonally? And if she doesn't have a good diet and she doesn't have a healthy environment because some things are environmental, and then her body begins to shift. So you know, paramental pauses. You don't have clarity of thought. How it works for men, is your test levels drop? The brothers you might want to hear this. Your soldier don't start to march and he's not standing up. And when your soldier ain't standing up, he ain't march. And guess what, You're going to fall into a depression because your testasion levels are low, your testasional level is low.

00:45:44
Speaker 4: You don't have the grit.

00:45:46
Speaker 3: So rather than working out or getting up to doing stuff yourself, you come home and hop right on the couch or you stroll, you know what I mean. So my tests and again I've interviewed my doctor on my show Doctor Jill Phenomenal. I was picking up weight and I was working out, I was eating right, and I was just like man and then like I got on stage and forgot, I was having this mental breakdown. I went in, I took sick because I developed vertigo from traveling.

00:46:16
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.

00:46:17
Speaker 3: Got on stage to speak, and the whole sanctuary I was in the church started spinning. I had to go to my hotel room and lay down because that vertigo is something serious.

00:46:28
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:46:30
Speaker 3: I go in my doctor. She gives me something to help with it. Because I had fluid. I had double ear infection. Wow, because I lost forty five percent of my hearing in my left ear as a kid, So I've always battled with ear infections. I am the worst. I go do a full blood panel, go through everything. My blood pressure was high and I'm not a person who eat bad. Yeah, my cholesterol everything, and Yiel and that little chair scootered over to me. She tapped me on his knee because I was sick as a dog.

00:47:08
Speaker 4: She said, baby, you sick and your body's breaking down on you.

00:47:14
Speaker 3: So the average man test level should be between eight hundred to twelve hundred. Maximum output for young males is in your twenties, and it starts to dip after thirty five.

00:47:28
Speaker 4: My test levels.

00:47:29
Speaker 3: I'm not shamed to say this because I got stopped touring and got in the gym and relieve the stress, because touring is stressful.

00:47:38
Speaker 1: It is.

00:47:38
Speaker 3: And then I'm speaking into four hundred, five hundred, six hundred men who've never heard anything about mental health, who's letting go of pain trauma that they've been holding on.

00:47:50
Speaker 4: And I'm taking all that in.

00:47:52
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:47:54
Speaker 3: My test Starship levels was two thirty five. Wow, two thirty five.

00:48:01
Speaker 1: You said between the eight hundred and.

00:48:03
Speaker 3: They should be between eight hundred and twelve hundred two thirty five. Yeah, And she said, Jay, you've got to change. I didn't take her speaking engagement for four months.

00:48:19
Speaker 1: Good for you.

00:48:21
Speaker 3: And I met my trainer, brnnis out of Florida. When Joe went to Florida to pastor and I said, Bro, I need some help. And this is a black man who understand aging. Brother looks phenomen at forty five. Put me on some natural supplements. Change my eating habits because we can't eat the same thing as we're aging.

00:48:43
Speaker 1: We can't. Yeah, even though we're.

00:48:45
Speaker 3: Thirty five, you know what I'm saying, You though we're twenty five, thirty two. Like you used to get eat a cookie at eighteen, wake up shredded.

00:48:51
Speaker 4: Listen cookie today you ain't gonna be able to get on pants tonight?

00:48:56
Speaker 1: Right? Where is the lie?

00:49:03
Speaker 4: So my thing? I had my.

00:49:07
Speaker 3: PSA level check, prostate cancer, all that. Brothers, go get that stuff checked out.

00:49:12
Speaker 4: Man. The average life expectancy of a black man is sixty one.

00:49:16
Speaker 3: Point five today, so young, twelve years younger than our counterparts. White men life expectancy is seventy two point four. Is they're living twelve years longer.

00:49:32
Speaker 4: Wow. So mental health is physical health.

00:49:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, And Pursuing Pace came from that because Bishop said, if you don't pace yourself, you're not gonna make it. And that's where that book came from. So I'm breaking down what exhaustion do. I'm breaking down how to find pace, how to be comfortable with pace, because I think that there's a level of patience that you have to exude pace because sometimes when we're pacing ourselves, we can feel like we're behind. Baby, I ain't chasing nothing. Yeah, if it don't have a flow, I don't force it. I believe like I believe it flowing, not force it. So that pursuing pace, Man, I'm so excited about this book. Like when we when we got on the call with Random House, ping a Random House and they read the book reposal.

00:50:21
Speaker 4: They was like, Jay, we need this book.

00:50:22
Speaker 2: Like yesterday, right, So when are we getting it twenty twenty seven.

00:50:26
Speaker 4: That was they was like, we can't.

00:50:30
Speaker 3: They was like they wanted to push it out to twenty twenty six, but they was like, twenty twenty seven. But I think the timing of it when it releases, it's gonna be perfect.

00:50:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, So you gotta take your time with that kind of stuff.

00:50:41
Speaker 3: Because by that time, Chris, we would have been in this administration about two years. People look at the pace, we're gonna need it, So we're gonna need it.

00:50:50
Speaker 4: Yes, but I'm excited about that book.

00:50:52
Speaker 3: But I share that to the Brothers man, and now my level is like, I mean, like Brenda's man got me to eat and write. He moved my diet to keto and when I'm traveling. When I'm traveling, he was like, keto, man, did you get.

00:51:07
Speaker 1: The keto flu? Like you know how people go keto?

00:51:11
Speaker 3: Like? Because when I did my blood work, my body responds better to fast, like, responds better to fast avocado nuts and stuff like that.

00:51:23
Speaker 4: My body responds better to and that man.

00:51:27
Speaker 3: Like and because I'm like, I'm working out and doctor Jill said, your body is in a fight or flight because when your stress levels are hot, your body releases the hormone quartosol, So the cortosol makes you hold on to everything, so you can be doing hours of cardio.

00:51:46
Speaker 4: Every Body is like mm hmmm, yep.

00:51:51
Speaker 3: And that's why releasing that stress because I had been holding on all of those men stories.

00:51:58
Speaker 4: Yeah, and when I.

00:51:59
Speaker 3: Started releasing that thing, detoxing because I had to learn how to not take it home. And it was so bad. Christ one of my friends, came to my house. I was just sitting on my floor crying. She's like, she didn't even know what to say. I was like, man, because I just was carrying all these men and it was just so hard. But now I got my system. I get off stage, baby, if stays right there. Yeah, I had something come home with me.

00:52:27
Speaker 4: One night.

00:52:30
Speaker 3: I had a it was it was a suicide spirit that a brother had on him. The spiritual folks would appreciate this. I have a gun in my closet. The spirit was so strong. I had to go in my closet because when I go off the road, I go on my office and I you know, unpacked clothes. The gun was in the closet. I was I didn't want to go in the closet. The spirit was so strong, and I was wrestling with it because that was so evasive.

00:53:02
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it was.

00:53:03
Speaker 3: Just like everywhere I turned, I was just hearing his voice. Man, I wouldn't grab that blessed all. I said, listen, I don't know who you came off of. And I remember the brother. I can see the brother's face who was telling me that he came to the tour that night and he was playing on taking his life that night, and he came to the session that night just to see if what I was talking about work.

00:53:28
Speaker 4: So he gets relieved. And it's because that's a real thing.

00:53:31
Speaker 1: Now, that's a real thing.

00:53:34
Speaker 4: So I'm wrestling. I didn't.

00:53:36
Speaker 1: I'm like.

00:53:37
Speaker 3: I called my mom and by the time I called her, you know, she was sleep so and I know how to praise, so I'm like, man, I got that blessed all man by the time she called me.

00:53:47
Speaker 4: I said, baby, I'm good now, because because I couldn't sleep, I tried to lay it down.

00:53:52
Speaker 3: And man, that thing was wrestling man. And my place overlooks some water.

00:53:57
Speaker 4: Man.

00:53:57
Speaker 3: I opened the door and it's just a looted to come in. I said, listen, I don't know where you came from Nigro. You got to get up out of here because I gotta go to bed. I gotta go to bed man and that thing broke, I know, annoying at my door, my couch, my clothes. People don't realize these spirits. Mental health is so much spiritual. We often think this stuff is spiritual you because you see people coming to therapy, I know in my and when I was practicing, and their entire face had change after the session because that thing would have been broken off us. Because when that spirit get around some oil or get around something that's that's gonna break it off of them and not something that's gonna perpetuate it and feed it. And that's why it's hard for a lot of these people to break these these emotional ties and these trauma bonds and these different times that they have with people and experiences. It's because they're around and or they're in an environment that's feeding it.

00:55:07
Speaker 4: Yep. Because if you feed that.

00:55:08
Speaker 2: Master, listen, and you have to be very cognizant of what you're feeding, because I'm telling you, they'll creep up.

00:55:14
Speaker 1: You'll be thinking I'm good, I'm good, and then like WHOA where did that come from?

00:55:19
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:55:19
Speaker 1: And you just gotta be like man.

00:55:21
Speaker 2: Die daily to the flesh, because they will pop up.

00:55:25
Speaker 1: They will.

00:55:26
Speaker 3: Let me tell you something. I can be around somebody right now and I can quickly desern they spirit ain't right. And I ain't gonna say nothing to you or nothing. I'm just gonna go ahead and move around.

00:55:35
Speaker 1: You feel it, Yeah, Yeah.

00:55:37
Speaker 4: It's a disturbance.

00:55:42
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:55:43
Speaker 2: I remember when I said, do you feel like it? Like sometimes you can be around people you feel that distaste. It's also you get that same feeling when people's spirit isn't right.

00:55:52
Speaker 1: I can it's lily like a something just ain't right and I don't like it. Yeah, and I have to stay away from people like that. I can't do it.

00:56:00
Speaker 2: But you feel it, especially when you really tapped tim with the Lord. He not even gonna let them get too close to you. He's gonna let you feel and you be like, okay, and.

00:56:07
Speaker 4: Then he's gonna let your spirit discern it.

00:56:09
Speaker 3: And as I said, we all need to be operated with the level of sagacity, just sophisticated way of saying desernment.

00:56:15
Speaker 4: Yes, but we.

00:56:16
Speaker 3: Have to operate with that man absolutely, because there are some people that the enemy is planting.

00:56:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, because they know your assignment, the devil, know what God wants you to do.

00:56:30
Speaker 1: So he's like, oh, oh he really serious about the Lord.

00:56:32
Speaker 2: Oh she really okay, So she's taking this serious now like I had her last year.

00:56:37
Speaker 1: She was straddling.

00:56:40
Speaker 2: I had a one foot in and one foot out. Oh but she for real. Now that's when he really be.

00:56:45
Speaker 1: Like, let me see how serious you are, and he will come at you.

00:56:49
Speaker 2: Listen, he tried to sink in. Yes, Dad dropped my phone on my foot. I said, all right, Lord, I heard you. I said, good Lord, get your attention real quid barefoot too.

00:56:59
Speaker 1: That thing hurt. I said, I got it.

00:57:04
Speaker 4: But.

00:57:08
Speaker 2: Listen, gotta get your TENTIONU real quick. I said, I got it.

00:57:14
Speaker 4: I got it.

00:57:19
Speaker 1: That would be no, but you serious. I'm telling y'all.

00:57:25
Speaker 3: God.

00:57:26
Speaker 1: And it was so.

00:57:26
Speaker 2: I didn't have nothing in my hands. I was just walking to the bathroom when the thought came.

00:57:31
Speaker 1: And my phone went Bamo's high. Okay, Now that was too quick. I was like, got it. It was like one of impossible. You don't you do that.

00:57:42
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh man, oh man, oh my gosh, man. When I tell you our lives are so parallel. Man, geez, oh my gosh, it's so parallel.

00:57:54
Speaker 4: No, seriously is man.

00:57:55
Speaker 2: Because it's been like twin Where have you been? Like, I'm like YouTube, it's like Spider Man like, oh man, I have really enjoyed.

00:58:09
Speaker 3: Man, this has been awesome. Thank you.

00:58:13
Speaker 2: In closing, I have one last question, Jay, how are you feeling today?

00:58:19
Speaker 4: I'm feeling restored, man, I'm feeling restored.

00:58:23
Speaker 3: Uh. I came here with my friend Crystal and we were able to bless the good people. Hope something that would share has inspired you. But I feel encouraged to meet a woman of your caliber that's on this beautiful journey of blessing people, inspiring people, motivating them all the things. But just to see a woman who's authentically herself in her vein and you're doing it with God. Oh man, that's so like you know what I mean, that's so dope. And so I'm just I just feel, you know, like I said, I feel like I can run on because, uh, you know, the past couple of weeks have been very challenging for me emotionally, and again it's I'm not in a bad place, but emotionally today I feel like my tank has been feeled my cup has been filled, just to have a conversation with someone who.

00:59:17
Speaker 4: Gets it absolutely.

00:59:20
Speaker 2: And I love that you feel that way because a lot of times you can like feel somebody else up and you feel depleted.

00:59:25
Speaker 1: But I feel full as well. So thanks, oh man, this.

00:59:28
Speaker 4: We were equally pouring today. Yeah, yeah, so this is.

00:59:30
Speaker 1: Great, amazing all right, So we're going to do positive outcomes.

00:59:39
Speaker 2: We haven't done this in a while, so we thought this would be a great time to do it with King.

00:59:43
Speaker 1: With doctor Jay Barnett. We got a doctor in a house, y'all. He can really give us some good advice.

00:59:50
Speaker 2: Tammy Coleman writes, have you ever denied your faith due to it possibly affecting your career or a role? Your walk with Christ is very encouraging and touches a lot of people. Have you ever struggled with accepting a role or opportunity because it didn't align with your faith? Or have you wanted to bring faith in God into a character? I was raising holiness all my life. The struggle is real, Tammy. That is a great question. I've never denied my faith. I've always bring my faith into every character. Now I have denied a role because it did not align with my faith. There are certain things I just won't do, you know. I have my hard lines in the same where these are the places I won't cross one because stuff lives out there forever and now in the world of AI, they can take something and be like, wait, I didn't do that, and like did you or did you not? You know, because it looks so real now you can't really tell. So I'm very mindful and cognizant of the things that I will allow to be seen on my body on camera or the roles. I won't do anything demonic unless it is something that draws back to Christ, you know, Like I won't play films like that unless it has to come back around and say that because we do deal with those demons are.

01:00:59
Speaker 1: Real imitation man, Yes, it's life.

01:01:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, So like I want to be really careful with that. I don't do like horror stuff. I want everything I do to have some type of redemptive story, you know, even certain roles on play I'm like, okay, like the movie I just did. What lesson are people taking from this? How are we changing lives? Yes, this is something that really happens, but the way it ends it just kind of leads us like that was horrific, but what message are we going to give to them? So we end up changing the ending. But it's things like that, like really having an input and saying, hey, when this thing goes black at the end of the credits role, we want people to feel changed. So I'm really big on that. And also, yes, of course, bringing faith and God into a character. We just did this season nine of Sisters. Deval, who plays Zach, was going through something and he had just lost a child on the show, and.

01:01:54
Speaker 1: For team was trying everything.

01:01:55
Speaker 2: She tried to make his favorite tacos, and she tried to seduce him, like all the things, and then finally she just looks up and she grabs the Bible and was like this is what you need, you know. And those are the ways that we bring faith in God into the characters. But yeah, definitely, but nothing is worth sacrificing or sabotaging my relationship with Christ over a role or anything. And that's something that even as I grow closer to God, just being like very aware of the roles that I take on. Because you're an actor as well, so you understand like sometimes like how you talk about we empty ourselves and bring on so we can live fully in that character, also understanding certain characters we just cannot take on because the soul doesn't know the difference. My mind don't either, you know, because when you really started like, oh we crazy.

01:02:42
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, man, anything you want to add to.

01:02:46
Speaker 3: That, Yeah, I just the film that I have coming out next year, Harry Hines.

01:02:51
Speaker 4: I play.

01:02:53
Speaker 3: It's two roles, and so one I'm this loving husband who's trying to become a detective. But then it's an AI sci fi film and so but on the other end, I don't know that my wife was a part of this team because they basically planned to chipping me to rea ability to rehabilitate me. So when the character shifts back to who he really is, I'm basically the psychopath.

01:03:23
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's interesting.

01:03:26
Speaker 3: So I took a lot of prayer, like because you know, I have a very you know, gory scene of taking somebody's life and and he Sadarius is I mean, he's a killer and he enjoys it. And man, let me tell you, I had to pray about two weeks after that after yeah, because you know, it was intense during the process and It's a great film by Q and Coder uh team that I'm excited for people to see. Harry Hines is his famous street in Dallas where prostitution, drug, anything, you name it, you can find on Harry Heines.

01:04:00
Speaker 1: Oh wow.

01:04:01
Speaker 3: So yeah, it is a great film. But that that is so real. And I took it because I wanted to be stretched. You know what I'm saying.

01:04:09
Speaker 4: Yeah, in in in my space of acting. Uh so.

01:04:13
Speaker 3: But but I'm with you, man, like just certain things that I'm not gonna do.

01:04:18
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. I just uh, you know.

01:04:21
Speaker 3: Demonic stuff like I just because when you think about like when you think about a Lea, right, I always think about her role in.

01:04:29
Speaker 4: The Queen of Down like and that was her last that was her last role.

01:04:34
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying that, you know, I'm not, don't you all take I'm just saying like, I would.

01:04:39
Speaker 4: Never forget that.

01:04:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.

01:04:40
Speaker 3: And I remember because I was a huge elea fan god, a huge live fan.

01:04:47
Speaker 4: Four page letter man a god.

01:04:49
Speaker 1: I used to do the beat on the lunchroom table man.

01:04:52
Speaker 3: Listen, I could listen. I would write listen. I would have write a four page letter to somebody listen right now. But but but that thought always come to me, Crystal, like yeah, because just that art imitation of lit it lives on, you know, because I'll.

01:05:09
Speaker 4: Be thinking, what did you open the door to?

01:05:17
Speaker 1: That's real? What did you open the door too?

01:05:20
Speaker 2: Because we hear we've heard so many actors say like I think Damnseon talked about it like now they kind of scared me. I was like, you did what like inviting so that you can invite? Oh yeah, because now you need deliverance.

01:05:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta be real.

01:05:37
Speaker 3: I remember when I was when when Sedaris was having a scene and the director CJ. You know, they was asking me what I wanted to listen to, And I can remember myself being on second we filmed like seven straight days, fourteen hour days, and I was listening to Scarface the Hands of a Dead Body, and I had to keep it on repeat to go into.

01:06:01
Speaker 1: That space because naturally that's not what you are.

01:06:03
Speaker 3: Like you know what I'm saying to to just walk up to some joking and just yea and my poor mama boy, She's say, boy, you always got me praying for.

01:06:16
Speaker 1: Like need something else now?

01:06:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I like that's why I rock with you, man, because I respect what you representing, what you stand for.

01:06:26
Speaker 4: Because some people just like just whatever role.

01:06:29
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'll do whatever. Yeah, No, how can I serve the character?

01:06:34
Speaker 4: No?

01:06:35
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm, because like you said, we got to go home at night, we have to go some of these stuff go home with you, Yes, asked Heath.

01:06:42
Speaker 1: Legend exactly, and we can't. Now you know what I'm saying.

01:06:48
Speaker 3: God is so phenomenal actor and he even talked about about that role.

01:06:55
Speaker 1: Yes, it stays with you. Yeah, and that's that's so true.

01:06:59
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's that's what I was Tammy Coleman, thank you so much for writing in But that was a great add on.

01:07:04
Speaker 4: Who do you have so Wes.

01:07:06
Speaker 3: Wes said, I had a mental breakdown five years ago during the pandemic. I didn't know what was happening to me. I sought therapy and was blessed to find two female therapists. In the past five years, I have grown so much during that time, but I feel like something is still missing. Recently, I have been pondering if a male therapist would feel that missing piece. Not sure if it's the delivery or perspective. I would like to hear your advice on the difference when it comes to male and female therapists.

01:07:37
Speaker 4: That's good, oh man, Wes, that's good.

01:07:40
Speaker 3: For one, I want to say, I want to if you're a brother, you know, a man, because again people names Wes, And for one, I commend you on going to therapy and seeking out help.

01:07:52
Speaker 4: But I want to.

01:07:53
Speaker 3: Say, if you feel that you're still missing something, I think that may be an opportunity for you to Lord, what do you feel that you're missing as it pertains to the identity of the therapist, because sometimes I've seen therapists, like most of my clients were at one point in time, black females in the C suites, and they would come to me because a lot of times when they felt when they were with another female therapist, they felt judged. They often felt not heard, and then sometimes it was triggering to either a mother womb or a sister womb, you know what I mean, if they had a bad experience with some woman that you know what I mean. So it sounds like you may and maybe the delivery from a male sort of close some gaps from some experiences that you had with the male or experience that you are looking to have because I know my therapist now is a female who I love, and I think that she's also pouring and helping me heal a different piece even in some mother areas, you know what I mean. So, and then when I first started, I had a male that spoke to the sun and me. So maybe what you're looking for is for some gaps to be closed as it retains to where you are, you know, in your life as a man.

01:09:23
Speaker 4: If that's you know, you know what you're looking for.

01:09:27
Speaker 1: I love that.

01:09:27
Speaker 2: That's so good, And I think it goes back to what you said, how you said you weren't with the same therapist that you had before. Sometimes it's good to change as you evolve. So if I feel like you're right, if he is missing something, he needs to first identify what that is he's missing and then try to move from that.

01:09:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great.

01:09:43
Speaker 2: Thank you guys so much for writing in. Continue to do that. We look forward to hearing what you have to say and the questions you have to ask.

01:09:50
Speaker 1: Let the people know where we can find you on socials.

01:09:53
Speaker 2: If there's anything we need to support you want to let us know if you have something coming up that we didn't touch on.

01:09:58
Speaker 4: No listen King J. Barnett on Instagram.

01:10:01
Speaker 3: X if y'all still use it Facebook threads, but listen to my podcast Just Healed with Doctor J on the same network as my friend Crystal The Black Effect. It is an amazing podcast and I talk about all things healing mental health. I mean, just an amazing space to dive deeper into conversations centered around mental health. A new episode drops every Tuesday and then you can watch visually on our Just Heal with Doctor J on YouTube page.

01:10:31
Speaker 2: So awesome, amazing, We'll definitely tap in with you.

01:10:35
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Yes, great, amazing, My goodness.

01:10:42
Speaker 2: Wow.

01:10:43
Speaker 1: That was such a powerful conversation and a reminder.

01:10:46
Speaker 2: That healing doesn't mean perfection, it means being honest enough to start. Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode of Keep It Positive, sweetie. Make sure to subscribe, like and leave a review, and also share this with someone who could use a little positivity in.

01:11:02
Speaker 1: The meantime in between time. Keep it positive, sweeties. I'll see you guys next time.