Newly Engaged Kevin & Astrid, Plus: Co-Host Demi Burnett

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Speaker 1: What's up, everybody, And welcome to another episode of Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Rachel and I'm here with Ali. Who's on the phone today. What's up Alle? Hey? Rage? Yes, I'm home with my little kiddos and just wanted to call in. Okay, before we get into the podcast today, we have some Bachelor Happy Hour business to get into, So Ali, I'll let you kick it off. Yeah. So, I just wanted to let all of you guys know well, first and foremost, I just want to say that I had so much fun recapping Bachelor and Paradise with you, Rachel, through you know, through the season. And I think that I just realized lately, and anyone out there who's listening can relate to having too much on their plate. And I just kind of realized that I was so stressed so often and that's not okay, and I realized something had to give. Like when I was preparing for the finale even if Bachelor and Paradise, Molly was coming into my office saying like Mommy, Mommy, will you come play with me? And I was like, Honey, I'm sorry, I have to watch this. And I just realized that I have so much going on right now and so much of my play. And as much as I want to keep doing the podcast and love it so much, I know that sometimes you have to give up things that are really fun. So I'm going to pass the baton over to you, Rage and I know you're gonna do amazing things with this podcast. Oh Ali. I really appreciate you taking the time to call in and explain it to me and to our listeners because I know that they're going to want to know what happened to Ali, and I just truly have so much respect for you for stepping away from something that you love to do to spend time with your family. Well, thank you so much, Rachel, and right back at you. I know you're gonna kill it. I'm gonna listen every single week and hear all the guests that you have, and you know, even though I will be in there with you in the studio, I will be watching. I will be a Bachelor super fan, and I will be rooting you on. So I can't wait to see all the awesome things you're gonna do. Thank you so much, And you know I'm gonna take you up on that because we love to have you back anytime. Because I know you're gonna be watching. I know you're gonna have some opinions, so you know you're always welcome back. The seats always open for you, so is the mic, so is the door. But with that you guys, today's podcast is coming right up. What's up, guys, and welcome to another episode Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Rachel and I'm back again with the most fabulous co host from last week, Demmy. Move over, Hannahby I'm still in your best friend, Demmy, Oh my gosh, hello girl, how's it going. I'm back. I am great. I'm great because you're back and I feel like you know, we're two girls from Texas. Yes, Queen, we tell it like it is. We have a lot of fun. So I'm ready to get into it right now. I love being here with you. I know me too. So on the show today, we've got Kevin and Astrid coming on. Astrod is one of actually my bestest friends from the franchise. We met on Nick Files season. She actually was in my limo. Oh my gosh. I love whenever that happens. Yes, and if you have like that really good friend that was in your limo, yes, And funny enough when I met her. She was already standing in the lobby, because you know how you walk out, they're standing in the lobby, and I said, Hi, I'm Rachel. It was Whitney and Astrid and when he's like hi, I'm Whitney and ashe was like hi, I'm Astrid, intimidating and I was like, oh, I'm sorry, what did you say your name was? And she was like ash And I thought we're gonna get along really well. I loved her on your Guys this season, like I loved you both so much. I thought she was so stunning, stunning, oh my gosh, and just so down to earth chill. So yeah, she left before she should have left. But that's okay because it worked out for because then she found Kevin in Paradise. And I actually met Kevin first on Winner Games And so what is Winner Games exactly? Okay? So Winner Games was something that was filmed, well not filmed, but it aired simultaneously with the Olympic Winner Games, and it was bringing all these different people from the Bachelor franchise. They were all from around the world, different countries come together to find love. How fine. No, it really was a fun experience and I actually got to go because I was a judge for a kissing contest. We won't talk too much about that, but my first time meeting Kevin was he was in a relationship with Ashley I and so at the time, Ashley I had the reputation I'm a virgin, I'm always loving other people. They're not loving me back. I forgot she was a virgin. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it was the talk of the town, the bachelor towel, the first Colton exactly, she paved the way. But she also was this girl who so wants love but no one ever loved her back. So here I am witnessing Kevin and her in this relationship, and I remember in the kissing contest they went first, and the way he kissed her, we were like, ma'am, who is this man from Canada who's come down here and swept you off her feet. Of course that didn't work out, worked out for Astro. She's gonna kill me for talking about this. But funny story about Winner Games, and I've actually never said this on air. What's the t says, let's hear it. Yes, Okay, So when I was judging the contest, the kissing contest, it was me, Ari and Jojo, and we were Ari was fresh off his season I'm talking seven maybe ten days, oh my gosh, since his show had finished airing exactly. So they all fly us in. We're in the middle of nowhere. A winter storm is approaching, so it's nothing there but us in snow. So we find this bar that we walk to we get wasted. Oh my god, my favorite thing. Yeah, it was. It was great because we're all I mean, I hung out with Jojo. She actually already knew Ri. I'm meeting Ri for the first time. So as you can imagine, things got real real really quickly, and everybody's being very open. Oh my god. So we have this two hour ride in the middle of a snowstorm, all the way to Vermont where they're filming actual winter games. Fucking Vermont. It's so random. Yes, And so I'm telling Ari, Ari, I'm just so excited to watch your season. I've never watched a full Bachelor season that I wasn't on. And I don't want you to tell me who you picked. I just want you to describe them. So Jojo and I are sitting on the edge of our seats and he's saying number one and number two, number one and number two, And we're listening to him talk about number one and it just sounds like somebody who's good on paper, you know, they sound like the perfect person, but there's no emotion behind it, there's no feeling passion. Then he starts talking about number two and he's like, Oh, she's this, she's that that, she makes me feel this way, she brings this out of me. And all of a sudden, it's like I raised my hand like I'm in class, and I'm like, um, excuse me, Ari, I don't think you liked number one, you like number two. I'm afraid. And then Jojo was like, I don't think you're gonna end up with either one of them, and I can, and both of us were like, this is not fair to number one. So how did you feel whenever you saw him go back for number two? Oh? I mean I feel like I also knew some behind the scenes things, like I knew that he had reached out to number two and you know, while he was still with number one to kind of test the waters. Oh I did not know this. Yeah, not nothing, not seven days after like later, Yeah, closer to the new year. They had me so fulled. I thought that whenever he showed up to Lauren's doorstep, that was the first time they had communicated. I think they said though later on that he might have DMed her or slar something like that, But I think that was the first time that they saw each other. That's still if you're going behind your current fiances back to text you number two, I told you T was hot. Yeah, he's very hot, and you guys called it. Yeah. We were like, this is not okay. But obviously it has worked out for them, and it's a funny story to tell now. And that's why I don't think I could feel comfortable ever telling it before. Oh yeah, but at least now they're both really happy. Yeah, and we didn't know names. We were like, hey, that number one, that number two. Oh man, Rebecca. Hey, she came out on top, she became the bachelorette, and she is now so happy and in love. She is they both are. They both are Oh my gosh, baby baby luted Dyke. I don't know how to say that last name. Oh you just really well, I wouldn't even know where to start. I was gonna say baby el Oh my gosh. I really just went for it. Guys. Wow, I was really good. I think that's right. You know who we were talking about, yes, okay, Well, speaking about other people who are in love, Astro and Kevin. We've got them on the podcast today, and as we know, they're recently engaged. We haven't heard the full story yet, so I'm really excited to talk to them. We have Astrid and Kevin on the phone. Welcome you, guys, first time guest to batts Are Happy Hour. Hey you guys, how are y'all doing? Are you? Are you still on cloud nine? I feel like I'm floating through life. Nothing bothers me, nobody can piss me off. I love doing laundry. I love cleaning the toilet. It's insane. Wow, okay, who are Yeah? I've never seen her so accepting of anything I want to do, Like you want to watch football? I do nothing all day. She's like, I love you, sweetie. Yes, oh my gosh, pretty much. It's down with whatever right now. I love this though. I love that you guys are so happy. I'm so happy for you. Now we've I feel like we've heard a little bit about your engagement, but we want you guys to give us the details. We want you to go in depth a little bit with us. So I don't know who wants to take the lead, but I need to hear, and so it does Demmy and all of our listeners. How did this go down? Okay? So I did have a plan to propose to Astrod. I started planning the ring around April times, so I gave myself a few months knowing that i'd do it. Towards the end of the summer, we went up for a little family gathering up in the small town where I'm actually from, and that's where my Wentz or sorry, my family's jewelry store called Wentz Jewelry is up there, and it's been in my family for a hundred years or sorry, one hundred and thirty four years. It was eighteen eighty four that had opened. And every engagement ring and wedding band from both sides, my mom's and outside is from this little shop. So I had a really, really kind of mapped out idea of how I would build it and everything. I just needed to go off Astro's little comments about other people's rings to be able to figure out what she might like, because I really wanted I really wanted it to be a surprise. I feel like there's very few things in life that are generally or generally like surprising. And I thought, rather than her had the exact ring that she might, you know, pick out herself, I thought I would. I would take more of the effort into like blowing her socks off with surprising her. I love that, And I just looked out that she happened. I happen to pick her ring that I like, if I would have designed it myself, I would have designed this exact ring. Oh it's perfect. I was just lucky. So I started I started shopping around just online and stuff in April, and then when we went up to this family gathering, I secretly had my cousin at the jewelry store clean Astrid's rings for her and to get an idea of what her ring size would be. And then he was texting me, you know, weekly, asking me about different diamonds, and eventually I just picked one and then I started building it. And I actually headed in my possession at the end of May. So it was like burning a hole in my pocket or my closet for like a month and a half. And I actually, full disclosure, I actually like practiced in the mirror. She would like, go to yoga, and I would make sure it's still there because it was kind of an expensive thing to hide in my closet, and I would go upstairs make sure it's there. And I looked at it a lot for for a month and a half, like a lot of times. When she left, I would just look at it. Um. And then the day I was just I just lucked out. She was leaving for Tampa on Thursday. Um, it was pouring rain on Tuesday. So I last minute message my photographers and said, any chance you can hide in the weeds and like make yourself, you know, unseen for a few hours so I can get get a nice photo of me in the moment on one knee. And she said, uh, she said yes, And Aster and I just happened to plan a day to go over to Toronto Island on our bikes and make a picnic. And um, and it was actually funny because you guys will understand this. We actually did have to do an ad like an Instagram ad. So and we don't love them at all, like we hate them. So Aster year, I got her like, we have to go to the island, we have to do a couple ads, and I almost put her in that um like aggravated mood where we're like, oh, we have to do and when we when when we set up the ad, you know, I made it seem like I was making the picture perfect. I was like, Okay, stand over there, you know, I'm gonna put the wine glass here. And then when I had her mood of her bike kind of out of the way, I like quickly grabbed the ring out of my pocket and shove it in my jeans. And then I could see the moment when I went from you know, stand here for the ad to when I started speaking my heart to her. She her face just turned to like, holy fucking shit, it's happening. Like I could see. I could see when her face turned, and luckily the photographers were in like a great spot to like really capture that moment. Astrid, I've never seen that before her reaction, Astrid, Did you have any idea that he was going to be proposing anytime soon? No, because I thought we're doing ads and we're meeting friends, surely this would not be the day. And you didn't see the camera people hiding in the bushes, but they were like actually behind bushes, like could not see them, Like, I think they were taking pictures to us for solid five minutes and I still had no idea that they were even there. They finally had to be like, hey, guys, we're right here. Why don't you look at us for a little bit. Because it was just such a crazy, surreal moment, I felt like I felt like the world paused almost in a weird sense. It was crazy, like everything just stopped moving, and I was so zoned in on everything he was saying, but I somehow also totally blacked out and remember nothing that he said. I had to say that I know it's it's hard to get things past you, Astrod. So I love the fact that you were completely caught off guard because I feel like, in your mind, you think you knew when he was going to propose, and I feel like Kevin knew that too, and so he completely caught you off guard. One thing I will say when I hear Kevin talk about the whole how it all played out, is that I'm shocked Astro didn't find the ring, because I know, my friend, I'm shocked. And then two kudos to you, my friend, Astrid, for marrying into a family with a jewelry store. So the reason I had zero idea too, is because he had his best friend call him and he put it on speakerphone because I thought we were meeting him, and he had him call an hour before and was like, I'm running late, so I'll meet you guys at six thirty. So in my head, we were truly just meeting friends and going out and drinking. I texted my friend the script and said, when you call, I'm going to put your and I started brushing my teeth and I left the phone on the bed on speaker while Astrod was doing her makeup, and he literally just read off his phone, Okay, guys, i will meet you at this park at this time. I'm excited to hang out with you guys. Like she had zero Like why did I proposed to my friend there? Right? So she had absolutely zero idea and yeah, everything just it was even raining that morning, and it just happened to the sun came out for at an hour right at the time for us to get a few photos, and then we were home on our couch eating ice cream sandwiches and watching Big Brother by like ten pm. Yes Brother. Yeah, So we literally had just like a four hour adventure and we came back engaged and we're really excited to start planning. Um. So, how would you say that falling in love in paradise sets you up for a successful relationship in the real world. I think finding the being able to separate the two. I feel like Astro and I in Paradise have a certain love story, but the true part of it didn't start till the day we got home. So as much as you can say that's where you fell in love, there were things that I needed to know back home and saying what I wanted to show her. Before you can decide to spend a life together, you have to be compatible on more levels than the beach and wells making you a peanut Coladay have Yeah, Absolutely, you have to, Like I didn't know if is she good with money? Is she a clean person? There's a million things that we learned about each other, and now I like, I forget I met her on the beach because now I love her from way more of an extent than I ever could have got out of her last summer. You know, it's interesting how to hear you talk about like Ashwood saying she felt that she was old watching it back, and you guys just seem to really do things your own way. You got in, you got out, and then you just made it about real life. What do you think about Jordan on the finale said that his experience was a bit ruined, and other people shared this sentiment due to all the pre Paradise tampering that was involved. What was your take on that? Do you feel like that taints the Paradise experience? I mean, I think this season's kind of extreme because there were so many people involved. But we kind of had a similar thing on our season last year with Tea and Colton, and that kind of dominated so much of our season. It just wasn't as many players involved in it. So I feel like that's what kind of made this season even so much more intense because it involved like it just affected so many more people. I Mean, the problem is there's no way to really regulate it anymore because the fact is by being on the show, you're giving certain opportunities, and there's contracts, there's companies, there's people that want you to attend things. It's almost like a door that's been opened that can never be shut again. When you're a very popular person off of the Bachelor. You have a while to go until you're on that beach, so all that time, when you get invited to the stage coaches of the world, you're going to run into the other kind of popular kids from the franchise. I think the DM sliding is something it'd be nice if people said, let me give the beach a real shot. Like I think that's where a lot of the guys like Blake or whoever else went wrong, was why don't you just go in there fresh? And like, I didn't even know who Ashford was. She actually didn't know who I was at all. I didn't know anything about her. I think I think Bibiana mentioned once to me on the phone that I think this girl from Nick season is coming, But I had no idea who she was, and that's why it was so organic to me. Didn't kind of do what we did. So I kind of just hope for the future that more people just turn their phones off for a few months and say, let me just see what this is all about. And I totally agree with you on that part, Kevin, that Instagram and dming kind of has tainted paradise and the authenticity of these relationships. But I think like you said, we can't close that door. Now, it's just gonna get worse and worse every year, more and more people are going to be talking before the show, and so I am just curious to see how all of that is going to work out in the future and how Paradise is going to be changed now. I wonder people are scared now after seeing what happened to Blake. I wonder may be a little bit more careful because that's quite the fall from Grace. I mean, ultimately, you can't be you can't be told by anybody to not go to a Revolve event or to go to a Coachella. So at the end of the day, it's basically just up to individual cast members of how far are they're going to go on the other side before, Like you said, DM or partners, you can't really stop people from doing that. These people are horny. So what do you think makes a successful relationship in Paradise Because we saw we saw some successful relationships come out of this, DIMMI being one of them, but then we saw, for lack of better words, a shit show when it came to Paradise. So what what would you say are the ingredients to have a successful relationship when it comes to Paradise, Well, I think the biggest thing is just communicating to each other what your life is like in the real world. I feel like that's where Clay Nicole went totally wrong. And I feel like Clay gistry the whole thing as we're just going to hang out on the beach, and then the final day came and he probably realized, oh wait, we're not on that same level as all of these other relationships. It's just been a fun hangout in a vacation to where you can tell Dylan and Hannah already knew so much about each other and what their real life looked like, to where it's just a matter of how are we integrating each other into those lives? So you have to you have to remember that Paradise is going to be over one day and you have to go back into the real world. So how do you fit into that part of my life? Yeah, I think the show showed a clip of Hannah and Dylan talking and she was talking about what it would be like in real life to wear joggers and walk on the beach. So I'm excited to see where their relationship goes there was one point we were laying on the day bed and we were there for a good couple hours, and by this point there was one person crying this way, another person yelling this way, and I remember the cameraman kind of like sticking his head or putting his head past the camera, give me a funny look. And the producer walks over and he's like, you're two borings. And they just left us there, like they literally looked at us and said, you are so boring that we're just gonna leave you be. And we were talking about I think we're talking about taxes. We were talking about like I was saying, how I've learned a lot about how to do tax and it was something that you would always talk about on like your tenth date in real life. And I think once we accepted that, Okay, this is a relationship that might be really going somewhere. I want to know this about you, the boring was good. Like Tia, Texas last week to congratulations, he said, how is my favorite? How are my favorite? Two pieces of furniture? Because they called us the front because we just basically hung out. We were always there, but we weren't really causing much shit. Well, you know who wasn't a piece of furniture, more like a hurricane. It's Blake. And I know you guys, I know you guys are friends with Blake. And we had Blake actually on the podcast and it was actually a very very good episode that we had. It got really real, very very honest and vulnerable. And I just, how is Blake doing from your perspective, because I know you guys are friends with him. Uh yeah, we spent The last time we've seen him was the weekend before the premiere of Paradise this year, and I know he was in pretty rough shape because he had read some spoilers and it was starting to get out there of how the first few episodes went for him. I feel like he has come a long way since that day. I know he's he was, he was in a bit of a dark place for a bit there. I think he's just getting that that route awakening that you know when you're the top, top guy, there's only one way to go, which is down. And I think he I think he just had too much time and too much access and too much you know, he just had a full year of being kind of the top guy where a lot of parties and a lot of people where he lost track of himself a little bit. But I do know he's working hard on himself to get himself back to where he should be. Yeah, you know, watching Blake on the Beach, I was always friends with him, but watching it back in seeing me kind of poke fun or talk bad about him and what he had done at stagecoach, I mean I felt terrible about it. Do I think I made I Do? I think he made some mistakes? Yes? Do I think he's one hundred percent a bad person? As I said, absolutely not. I think that he really did learn from what happened. And I'm so tired of people dragging him. I just I hope the best for him. I love him, and I think it's really special that he has people like you, guys his friends there for him right now. Yeah, and I definitely know that that was the big thing for me, was being removed from the show and taking the friendships for what they really are is. I'm not friends with you just because you're on a TV show. I'm friends with you because if I needed you, I feel like you would be there. And Blake's always been the guy I feel like if I ever needed him, he would be there. So just because you make a few mistakes, I like to separate my relationships from the show to real people. Yeah, I'm sure you will too, DEMI Like, maybe you didn't like him on the beach the way he was treating women, but in real life, if you needed him, he would be there. Oh. Absolutely, he would be there in the drop of a hat for anyone that he cares about. Um. Yeah, I really do love Blake and I have definitely told him sorry for the things that I said. Okay, so enough about Paradise. I want to talk about y'all's wedding. I don't even know where to start with the wedding. I'm so stressed out, Rachel, I'm going to have to actually call you this week to figure some things out. Well, I think the number one question is am I a bridesmaid? Obviously? You know. Actually when we were at your wedding, we realized we kind of like the idea of it just being us up there, Like I really don't meet my friends to have a spot to just be standing there. I love the look of your wedding where it's just you guys. In the pasta yeah, we pulled a lot of inspirations from your wedding. Actually, oh you guys, I'll take a row there you go. I think I think we're looking at probably the end of next year. Maybe O'tober November time probably implored us. It'll be close for you, Rachel too. But I need to get a Planner's what I really need to do, because I'm realizing there's so much that goes into it. My mom got me a really cute wedding planner and there's just so many things that I never even realized worth thing. I will say, one thing that we are sure is it's going to the one word that we wanted to basically everyone to feel is the romance. We want it to be like a small, intimate, romantic wedding and nothing big and flashy. It's just going to be like a garden, just something really sweet. I want everyone just to feel good. And yeah, we're just excited to start planning. I know. I call the engagement my herd part. So I'm just a yes man for the next twelve months. Oh yeah, right, keeper. I mean, Kevin, you got yourself a good one too. If I must say, I just love you guys together, and I love that That's what I guess the vision that you have for your wedding, because I think it really goes to who you guys are and why you guys have been such a successful relationship. Not to stir that up, but let's play a little bit of a game, a little newly engaged game that we have with you two. And how this is gonna work is either myself or Jimmy's going to say a sentence and then you two will both say at the same time, who do you think the sentence applies to. I'll say it count to three, and then you guys named the person who the sentence applies to at the same time. All Right, I said I love you first, one, two, three, Karen, hang on, quick question or a quick answer to that. I whispered I love you to her with my when I covered my microphone in Paradise, and I made sure nobody heard it. Now one producer. Nobody heard it. Two days before she told me on camera. And that was like the most special moment ever because I knew nobody knew I had said it except for me. Oh but you got she did it on our great in Paradise and everybody blew up online saying, oh my God, she said it to you first. That's so crazy. What a great girl. But me and here were the only two that knew. I said two days before, like whispered in any year or something? You got yourself out of an hour long I TM. Yeah, I initiated our first kiss one two three, I did. Well, maybe it was maybe it was at Maybe we're both brillianto each other. I'm pretty sure. Can you just kiss already? Even talking when we were like taking a walk and the No, okay, okay, okay, I have a better sense of direction one two three, Kevin, Okay, I don't drive a license in Canada. Yes, that's that's no excuse. That's I never know where I am on the road. If I didn't have GPS, I would get nowhere. Um, okay, next one. I'm a better dancer one two three, Astrid, Yes, queen, have you you didn't dance with wedding all? Yeah, I don't remember seeing you on the dance floor. Kevin, We'll have to fix it. Your dance floor was one of the wild. It was like jumping into the drund Yes, it was wild. I love that was wild. But have you seen the dance that Astro does Astra has this one dance when she's really filling herself. Have you have you noticed that dance yet? She has a lot of those. I have to see all that tonight. Yeah, yeah, she has to show you. Okay, Um, I met my future in laws first one two three kevinn okay cool, all right, I'm the patient one one two three Astro nice. I was gonna say, Kevin, Okay, I wake up earlier one two three Kevin. Yeah, it's because you're your job. Yeah, I'm like a five o'clock. She's like an eight o'clock. I'm like a ten o'clock. Um, all right, I'm the more romantic one one two three Kevin, that's cute. I love. I mean, the engagement was the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me. I don't know how I'm gonna ever top that. Babies, Yeah, that's it. That's the ultimate gift. I'm kneader one two three straight you are. I feel like that's the one that always trips people up. I could just picture of looking at like, wait, what oh, that's feel like we're both really good at cleaning up after each other when the other person's busy. But then on your yeah, maybe you are a little Yeah, you're right. I've been to your house and it was pretty clean. Yeah, and I've kind of popped up like I don't really think it was playing, so I can't really. Um, I'm the better singer one two three. Actually most terrible things, all right, I respect that. Yeah, Um, I take longer showers one two three. So my my idea is, if Soape touches every inch of your body, that's all the time you need. So I will literally be in there for forty five seconds and be done, and she'll be in there forty five minutes right after me. Okay is that a Canadian thing? Because I have never heard that before. I just feel like, when you're in there, you just you wash everything and then you get out. I take two many showers. I just enjoy. Yeah. Yeah, okay, I'm the better cook one two three, Kevin. It's a fireman thing. I cook right win for you, astrid An. I don't know how I met it on TV. I'm telling you all right, last one, you guys, I'm the better I'm the better planner one two three Kevin, real quick and real serious too. We planned. Yeah, you're oriented, but I have like confirmations and emails about it. Yes, So when we're at the airport, if like someone's like, do you have your number for this? She has everything so organized and ready to go in her email. But if you want to talk about how many homes and how where they are going to be in five years, I'll tell you how we're going to get there. That's true. I'm sure term. He's long term. Yeah, you guys are like the perfect balance for each other. I'm just so happy you guys found love in this crazy bachelor franchise world. I mean, I just remember talking to Astrid before she went on to Paradise, and we never thought that she would meet to Kevin, and so she was beautiful, beautifully surprised to meet you. And I'm happy you guys have found each other. Y'all are seriously adorable. My dad is obsessed with y'all. He was like crying Overall's relationship whenever he watched Paradise. It was really cute. Thank you so much, Kevin and Astrid for joining us today. It's been so much much fun catching up with you guys. Thanks guys, thanks for having us. That was so much fun. I'm so glad that they called in. I know, I mean, I know Astro and Kevin, but I'm happy to hear them tell their story. And one thing we didn't talk to Astrot about, but it's it's so true and I feel like a lot of people have done it. I've actually done it too. But she moved from Tampa to Canada, Toronto for Kevin. I mean maybe six months after they had been dating. She moved there because she needed to see if it was real. They needed to live together, see if it was going to work out. And I understand that. Brian actually moved to Dallas for me, and then recently I moved to Miami for him, and then I moved to La to be closer to my love. It's what you do, the things you do for love. Oh my favorite quote, Oh my god, speaking of the things you do for love. So I filmed this summer this MPTV show called Ghosted, Love Gone Missing, oh Man. And when I was originally approached to do the show, it was you know, have you ever been ghosted? And I thought, honestly, at first, I thought, no, I haven't. And the reason I didn't think about it is because I was ghosted ten years ago. And when I was ghosted. That was not a phrase. It was just, oh, somebody disappeared, somebody changed their number. I think I jokingly referred to him as Casper, but it didn't have a thing. And now I'm realizing doing the show that there is this huge epidemic surrounding that's how That's just how people break up with each other where, whether it's family, it's friends or lovers. And I feel like it's a generational thing. So I'm gonna throw it back at you. Even though I like to think Demi, you know, we're the same age, you know, like I can get down with the get down the twenty four year old. However, we're kindred spirits, but we are okay. So I gotta ask you, because it just seems to be so common. Have you ever been ghosted or have you ever ghosted someone? I am ashamed to admit that I have done some ghosting in my day. I know no, I think that it's terrible. I think it's one of the meanest things that you can do to someone. I think it's hurtful and I would never do it again. But you know, back in high school they called me heartbreak. Demmy, I just like didn't want to get serious with anyone. I was a virgin, so I was very innocent. I wouldn't really hang out with these boys outside of school. I would just talk to them for a couple weeks and then I was just over it. So then I just didn't text them back. And I mean it was really really awkward a lot of the times because they'd confront me and be like, YEO, why I haven't you text me back? And I was like, oh, sorry, I'm over it. And it was very cruel. That was very mean to play with people's hearts like that, and I was just being selfish. So I definitely don't agree with ghosting. I have repented for the ghosting I've done, and I think that anyone who is doing it and thinks that it's okay is delusional. Well, it's nice that you've found the error in your ways and you've learned from it, and I think that people as they get older have But I'm curious, why do you think people ghost because it's so common instead of just having that tough conversation, why do people just disappear? Because I think that, like you said, it's more cruel. I think it's because that those conversations are so uncomfortable, and nobody really wants to be uncomfortable if you have an out to just oh, I don't really have to respond to this person. I don't have to say anything that's more comfortable just dipping out unannounced. But I don't know, it's it's just I really just think is that people are uncomfortable with those conversations. They don't want to feel that way. They want to just feel chill about everything, and they're selfish. People are just really selfish. Do you think that social media is to blame for it? I mean social media is to blame for everything. Yes, my depression social media, but no, really, I mean yeah, because if you ghost somebody, or you're talking to somebody you know in person all the time, but then some hot person slides into your DMS, Oh now I'm gonna ghost this person in life so I can talk to this other person that's interested. I mean, it just makes dating so much more available to everyone. And see, I also think of it as we're in a time where we don't communicate the same way anymore. You know, people communicate in pictures and gifts and emojis, and people don't know how to have those tough conversations. You know. Honestly, a lot of people couldn't sit here and talk the way that we're talking and just engage and have a meaningful conversation, you know. And I think that that has to do with it. That's just my guess, because it's just easier for them to just I don't know why they just couldn't send a picture that's like boy bye, like a meme. Yeah, communicating those people. Let's go. Have you ever run into somebody that you've ghosted? I will tell you there's this one time. Actually, so I ghosted this boy in high school and it was probably my sophomore year, and then my senior year came around. He was a year older than me, so he had just come back from college and he came back and he was he was a little doucheier then I remembered, but he was like still so hot, and I was bored. I was like, hey, you know, I want to rekindle things back up, even though I ghosted you a few years ago, and he was like, yeah, sure. So we kind of we started hanging out over the summer and it was the summer before I was going to college, and he was going to go back, and I kind of noticed him being kind of cruel to me, like kind of rude and like stand offish and just kind of like a douchebag, and it was bothering me for a while, but like at that time, I didn't have enough self respect to take myself out of the situation. I was just trying to like win him over. And so then the next thing I know, the boy damn ghosts me. After I had ghosted him two years ago. He ghosted me, and then I finally got him to say something and he was like, how does it feel? And I was like, oh my gosh, really, dude, demmy call his ass out. What's his name? But I don't want to him. Is he from red O? Yes? You know who you are? You know who you are? Oh? Great? Funny enough. On the show, we deal with episodes like that where someone was the ghost. We call them the haunted. If they were ghosted, they were the haunted and then they were the ghost. And it's crazy and people think we make up these stories, but it's so real because it's so common. Long story short, the guy who ghosted me my muse now because my inspiration. Yes, Casper, you know who you are. He okay, I was a different Rachel ten years ago. Ten years ago, Rachel never could have been on the Bachelor. So that's why I always in like, kudos to you guys for going on at such a young age. I was a hot mess. Professionally, I was on point. I was in law school. Relationship wise, I was a mess. Can't relate to being on point in law school or professionally, which you seem to be on point with your relationship. Oh, have done that at twenty four, you know, one or the other, one or the balance. So definitely hot mess, hot express. And I was dating a guy and I'm thinking we're long distance, we're in college, and I'm like, okay, you know, like this is so great. I was so sprung over him. And it was December thirty, first last day of the year. I was in church New Year's Eve. Yes, in New Year's Eve is my favorite holiday. Oh my gosh, that's cute, apart from my birthday. Oh of course. And I remember thinking, you know, God could not let me start the new year off without knowing this information. So I'm sitting at church talking to, oddly enough, the guy who introduced me to my boyfriend, and I say, you know, we're just talking people from back home. We're all home from college. And he's like, everybody has a kid from back home and I go, no, so and so doesn't have a kid. And the look he gave me was like are you serious? And I said no, no, no, no no, no. This guy's a jokester. So I'm like, okay, he's just being funny. And he calls me Twin and he's like, Twin, he has a kid, and I go, no, he does, and that's my boyfriend. I would totally know if he had a child. So we go outside in the lobby. He calls him, puts him on speakerphone and says, Hey, what are you doing And he says, Oh, I'm just at the mall with my baby and my baby mama. No. No, I mean I was shocked this guy. I would say that whole year. What I would say the whole year. Now, we took a break. We're like Ross and Rachel. We were on a break for about a year and a half. Who we were on a break and if I did the math during that time is when he got his ex girlfriend before me pregnant. The sad part was not only did he lie to me about impregnating someone? So that whole year of our relationship pretty much he had someone pregnant. That's a huge deal. Yes, and the baby had been born. It's like she was still pregnant, that baby was out, and about the family was created, the family unit was there, whole family. Oh God, I'm so shook. Okay, are you ready to be shook even more? Oh? Yes? I took him back. No, because Yes, told you different, Rachel. I took him back because I thought, Okay, if you don't have a relationship with the baby mama, it's fine. It did happen when we weren't together, and you know, he sweet talked to me. You know, I just didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to lose you. I thought about it every day. I took him back. Okay, we continue to date that year. End of the year again, I get a phone call multiple times. Person calls, hangs up, calls, hangs up, get the phone call. Finally she's like, listen, this is SO and So's. You know, I keep trying not to say names. I'm so and So's baby mama. I need to know the status of your relationship. And I was like, Wow, she's bold enough to call me. I'm going to give her some true answers. And so I tell her my relationship. He's my boyfriend. She says, well, how can that be? He's my boyfriend, and we kind of hash it out. He gets mad at me. Somehow, I still take him back. Fast forward for um, I know this girl I just heard in the background. I take him back, but not the same way like I dated other people. Whatever. But anyways, one day I just call him. It's like a normal Wednesday, and I get the message, the number you've reached is no longer in service. And I thought changed. Okay, the baby mama did it? Yeah, I said, okay, okay, maybe this is a mistake. I called like ten times, same message. That was it. So he disappeared and together now they had another kid. So two years later I run into him. He tells me he didn't know how to leave me, so he that's the only way he could cut me off. He wanted a family unit for his kids. And they had another kid. And I literally talked to him like last week and he has they're having another child. Oh my gosh, we're cool now. But what I realized and this is what I've learned in ghosting stories. And maybe you felt this way after you were ghosted. Is that if I really think about that, the two years where I hadn't talked to my ghost, I truly could not have a serious relationship because I kept I kept wondering, is this something I did? Is there something wrong with me? Definitely brings out all of your insecurities. Whenever you get ghosted, you like, what is wrong with me? And then you're scared that somebody else is gonna ghost you next, Like you're going to make somebody else not like you that much that they just randomly stop talking to you. It's like I said, it's very harmful to everyone involved. Yeah, it's not good for if you're the ghoster. It's not good for your mental health either. No, to view, people are so disposable, and I think that sometimes the ghosters like, Okay, I know why I ghosted, and I've moved on with my life, But you've left this other person who's just stuck in this place, and so I just don't understand why you can't have those short, hard conversations really quickly so everyone can close that chapter and move on. It's just really, really sad, and it's even sadder that, you know, like we said, it's so prevalent, you got all these people around. This is why people can't have good relationships. Oh yeah, what's wrong with the Bachelor? Oh? Absolutely all these people have probably been ghosted. They're damaged and they just need to close these chapters that ghost me. Did I get ghosted my Colton Underwood? I was like, who's cocoa? Oh? Yeahs no, Actually he had the tough conversation with me. Um, I got that closure. Yeah, the Bachelor doesn't allow you to technically ghost people. True, you know, it's it's you might not understand why you got sent home, but at least you get you know, you didn't get a rose. I always wanted to be that person that just left without telling anyone, Like, didn't even tell the lead was just like all right bye, guys, just like walks out of there. Now. You know they would have sat you in seedynion at the reunion and make you say your peace. Oh absolutely, I wouldn't have got away from it. Don't get off that easily on the show. I'll be like, oh yeah, I ghost to the Bachelor. There's no big deal. You know what someone's probably gonna do that. Oh, I'm sure that they will. There's gonna be someone who's gonna think that they're too good for the show and want to ghost him. But you know what, guys, it's harmful. People are hurting. Well. Do you think that you bring up an interesting point also when it comes to the show. Do you think that some people and if I really think about it, I could probably name them. Some people know Jordan. This is a conversation we actually talked about on the podcast Jordan on Paradise when he had that fight with Christian. It was kind of like you knew Nicole was into Christian and Clay more than you you knew you probably weren't going to get a rose. Did you create this storyline in this dramas just so you could have some type of airtime on television? I wonder if when you say people will come on, you can say people will, but if somebody came on just to ghost the lead, just to have a storyline because they know that they're not going to make it far. Do you think that that's becoming a trend where people are doing just enough to create a storyline on the show. I think so. I mean I think that people probably know what they're doing, and it's eat like, you know what you can do to get airtime, Like I mean, going and messing up somebody's pinata. You know that that's going to make great TV. I think that it all comes down to like here for the wrong reasons kind of thing. I think that you know, go on the show for fun, they go open for love, open for sure. Maybe maybe you're not there for one hundred percent the right reasons whatever, but be open to love and take the lead seriously because they're there to find their person. So you need to respect that. You're gonna have some fun along the way, but don't make it so much about yourself. I feel like absolutely, And do you not see that that's fleeting? I mean, so, okay, so you have you're talked about for a week because of what you did, but a new group of people are going to come in and no one's gonna talk about you. They're gonna remember you for that stupid thing that you did, Like there's really no success in doing that. You weren't the lead, but at one time you were considered. You know, you were in the running. There's no secret you were in the running. For Bachelorette, And I remember talking to you one time and you said that you didn't really think that that was for you. Do you feel like, even though you weren't the lead, you're best friends with the lead. Do you feel like you have a better understanding of the process, maybe of what went down during Colton's season versus or not versus, but what went down during Colton's season because you see what Hannah's gone through. Yeah, I mean absolutely, I feel like I know so much more about the whole lead situation in general, because you just that person is like a mystery to you. You know, You're like, what are they doing all day? Like what are they thinking? What are the producers telling them? Like you just wonder what's really going on. I'm like, whenever we're all hanging out here at the mansion, is he sleeping? What's he doing? Like you know, and so getting like some insight on that is so interesting And the most interesting thing is that you really, you know, learning from Hannah, like you really know your top few people within the first couple episodes, like you already know. So it's just it's interesting to see who all like, you know, it's kind of strung along to make a good season. But really, the whole time, they knew who they liked, they knew who was in their top like four. Probably I was the biggest Rachel fan, Like, seriously, you were my favorite. Oh, listen, I was a fan of you on Colton season. Like the moment you came out, I was like, follow, this girl's funny. I love funny people. I love hanging around them, and you've been so funny on the podcast. Thank you for being here these past couple of weeks. It's been so much fun. Oh. I love getting to sit here and chat with you. This is so much fun. And you guys, in the meantime, you can get all the latest batter news on batternation dot com right now. And we want to hear from you. Tell us what you like and what you don't like. Give us your opinion about Demmy. She's been on the last couple of episodes. I want to hear what you think about Demmy being on the show. If you want more of her on the show, let me know. You can email us at happy hour at batchternation dot com or batternation dot com and click podcast