Fan Questions and a Galentine’s Getaway! | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so much for joining us. We are so excited to be back, particularly today, because where are we, sitizens.

00:00:18
Speaker 2: We are own vacation, baby, We are.

00:00:20
Speaker 1: In Saint Martin.

00:00:21
Speaker 2: Yesterday's say Bart's, this place is amazing. We'll add to that the minute. Absolutely. You know, we'll be answering more of your fan questions, which we love doing, and you remember the routine. Send your comments, your questions, and your responses to batsination dot com slash Golden Hour submit away because that's what we're here for. We love your questions, your comments, your updates. We got a lot of updates on of our own today, Like if you want to reach out, all you have to do is go to bachsernation dot com or d M d M. That's hard for me to say on vacation the d M less on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. Before we get into today's episode, the first thing we want to do is wish everybody a happy v Day, a happy.

00:01:20
Speaker 1: Galentine's Day and happy what else?

00:01:25
Speaker 2: Gallantine? I'm quite just oh okay, and Valentine's that Galentine whatever you're celebrating yo today.

00:01:31
Speaker 1: But Susan, can we clude if we're celebrating life? Can you tell we're a little bit on island tie, we're a little bit. We all have island fever. But can I just say it's amazing, it's absolutely what's your say for drink here? I'll make you the coladas of course, Pina colattas. I'm drinking tequila soda in line. We've been at the beach, We've been at St Barts. What else?

00:01:53
Speaker 3: Late?

00:01:53
Speaker 2: I have to tell you two risks?

00:01:55
Speaker 1: Let's she head on plus drama mean.

00:01:58
Speaker 2: I was so proud of her because we had to take this giant ferry boat over Saint Barts yesterday and she did it.

00:02:06
Speaker 1: Get We got wet, but not sick. Let me just tell you I never used at sea sect. Literally, I was praying. I would have done anything. I had the wristbands, like she said the drama mean. But on the way home, we met some great people. That's the thing about island life when you're on vacation. We met these people the other day. What were you in tre We're going to dinner with them. They're taking us to the best French restaurant on the island.

00:02:28
Speaker 2: So we're here for twelve days this time, and we're booking before we leave. I think we need three weeks here. Every weeks.

00:02:36
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm thinking about really a month while that'll work.

00:02:39
Speaker 2: That'll work.

00:02:40
Speaker 1: And in the I hope everybody's enjoying the Valentine's Day.

00:02:43
Speaker 2: And you know what, it's not just about having a man in your life. It's about having friends.

00:02:49
Speaker 1: And we are having the time of our life.

00:02:51
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:02:52
Speaker 1: Yes, anyway, I highly recommend vacation. Highly recommend vacation. And if you can find a beach, like the beach just hear the water, the turk poise.

00:03:03
Speaker 2: Oh so I had to ask you one question, one moment that stands out the most during this vacation so far. What would it be? It would be looking out at the beautiful water.

00:03:13
Speaker 1: You two. And then oh and the food is delicious, infect Susan, I have a green I said. One thing. Wait, I guess you're together. I said one thing. I have a great idea. We should work for the Saint Martin Chamber of Commerce. How about we talk about that show the other night. Okay, here we're gonna we're gonna get into the batchlor of this week has happened like now, Ah.

00:03:35
Speaker 2: So God, that first date, you're killing me. You're killing I would have grab, I would have the Only thing I liked about it was the money machine.

00:03:43
Speaker 1: That was it?

00:03:44
Speaker 2: Okay, first of all, wait before before we get into anything, who was it wrong?

00:03:50
Speaker 1: And you know, I mean I'm terrible unnames, particularly on vacation. Who went home with I think appendicitis? No, no, no, no, I get it wrong. No no, oh my gosh. Okay, So whoever had had to leave that is sad because you know what, you work up a lot to going.

00:04:07
Speaker 2: On this trip, so you know it reminds me of gently Yeah, yeah, exactly. But let's get back to the finance date. What did I hate? Here?

00:04:15
Speaker 1: Do we have?

00:04:16
Speaker 2: Italy? So here's the thing, guys, is Beverly, I'm sorry, Yes, okay, Beverly.

00:04:21
Speaker 1: We hope you're feeling better. Leading we truly do. Back to finance or finance depends where you're from. How you say it, I don't understand. I mean I get it. Grants in finance, I get it, grant money, grant, I get it. But why is it like let me teach you. I'll picture some of those women know a lot about finn Yeah, you know, I just think there's a one.

00:04:45
Speaker 2: Like I said, the money machine was my favorite part, but then they get to buy the date or whoever won. Yeah, now let's talk about the next day. The dog grooming. So really, I mean, since about you and how about you vaccination that I can tell you The next guy, I think it's gonna be totally faced.

00:05:02
Speaker 1: On how he washes the dog. That's it.

00:05:05
Speaker 2: If you can wash your dog, I am your woman. I just say why, why why?

00:05:10
Speaker 1: I don't know.

00:05:11
Speaker 2: I have no words on that one. They like dogs, no, but seriously, why, I mean, is it like you want here's the thing. You get your checklist of men, right, Susan. Yeah, you want to be generous, right? You want to be chivalrous, right?

00:05:24
Speaker 1: Yes, you want to dress well, be a gentleman, take good care of you. You know what numbered five is on your list? Wash your dog and bring.

00:05:34
Speaker 2: It, really and get it. I didn't get it.

00:05:37
Speaker 1: Sorry to whoever called by one, but you were at We're not a dog love of it.

00:05:42
Speaker 2: Can I just talk about the girl in the hot red dress? What is her name?

00:05:48
Speaker 1: Carolina?

00:05:48
Speaker 2: Her body? Oh, I was getting sick. I mean that her waistless? I don't think when I was born I had that waistline. She looks so freaking amazed.

00:05:59
Speaker 1: So you are the old woman in life. All all the girls and guys they're talking about futures. Can we talk about that for a minute. Every girl with Brantis, they're all talking about the future husband he's talking about she'd make a great mother. Let these people know each other at ten then.

00:06:15
Speaker 2: I don't know what. That's the name of the show, Like, that's how that's what they're thosed to be looking into these you know, bounchwaster. They still there and then they could figure that a lot.

00:06:25
Speaker 1: No, let's change the name of the show. Dog roomy and a ten minute marriage we're in.

00:06:29
Speaker 2: Let's get to Lettilla. I think her name is. That touched me. That was a good moment. Oh my god, so hurry about Soday. I started in common.

00:06:38
Speaker 1: Let's talk about Stace. Something in common.

00:06:42
Speaker 2: That was heartbreak that her dad passed and her mom struggled and raised her. And when he reached out and called the mother, I was so, so so impressed. Yeah, that was a beautiful moment. What here's my thing. I did see a tear. He was genuinely feeling it. I couldn't tell if he I saw it later that he had her hand, but I wasn't sure the whole time. I couldn't believe that he didn't react and go and hold her or somebody, As she told me, that is what you and I were saying.

00:07:12
Speaker 1: Some here's my thing on the on the Golden Group, like we're touching Philly. Oh, Susan, are you feeling okay? Oh? Guy? Are you this with Grant? I feel like he's not physically other than the guy can suck face better than any guy I've ever seen in my life.

00:07:31
Speaker 2: But out of than map like, I don't feel like he's feeling touching, care bloring Harry Volore. He did cry though, so that I think maybe Kathy on the opposite end of that what our thoughts are. Yeah, he was giving her that moment to get it out before then he did hand or a rose, which was beautiful.

00:07:49
Speaker 1: But that was a touching moment. But do you feel like there's a I don't know. Susan and I keep comparing this to the Golden Bachelor Show, and I feel like they're in such a rush to call Grant their husband. They're in such a rush.

00:08:04
Speaker 2: You should know the name of the gin, though, it's a leg not a competition, but it is a competition. That's where they want to get you. Do you feel that they're making the connection? That's I don't think it's there yet. I don't either, That's my point. But they're all talking about future husband. And when you talked about Zoe En Rose and that stake rama, drama, drama? Why would Rose share that and that said I'm sorry that he was thinking about her while dancing with somebody else. Who would do that?

00:08:38
Speaker 1: You know what, I don't care if you're twenty thirty, forty fifty.

00:08:41
Speaker 2: You need to smack upside your head because that is ugly. That is not nice.

00:08:45
Speaker 1: Can I just tell you if I'd been in the house, I would have missed that.

00:08:48
Speaker 2: You know why.

00:08:49
Speaker 1: I would have been really busy lining up the dog to the million. They're out of nowhere. Here comes are Golden Guy. What a sopranat Gary and keep the joy? They're great. I wonder how they picked who who was coming? I don't know, But can I just say it's smart? First of all, who could ever get enough of looking at Jonathan's botty?

00:09:13
Speaker 2: Let it be honored.

00:09:14
Speaker 1: Jack can cook for anybody. Yeah, Keith is a mile of fun and missing Gary's heart felt.

00:09:22
Speaker 2: Gary has got six card and the hugs like no other. They were great, they were ready, they did a good job. They did a good job, and I think they had so funny you know what. I love Susan Again, we look at these shows a little bit differently because we've been on it. I love that you can see that older bachelors and older bachelor apps can make connections with them and it's almost like us.

00:09:49
Speaker 1: But I loved at that. I love Bachelor Nation figuring that out.

00:09:52
Speaker 2: Since that's okay, how do you feel Kathy Grant seems to be developing feelings for everyone that he goes up. That's what I was saying, is that everything and that bothers me a little bit, which I think gives hope to these women of girls again that's the name of the game. Yes, but you're getting hopeful and make up. Is he developing all these That's what it just said to you said, that's he's calling all that. I could see a future with her, I see, I could see her being the mother of my children. He sang it to so many that as a viewer, I begin to question his veracity. I begin to question is he really falling? And I hope he does. And I told you Juliana from Newton, she's got to be in the final group. But I did not agree with you.

00:10:38
Speaker 1: I'm I'm concerned that he's feeling or says he's feeling too much for too many way, do you feel like there was any connection.

00:10:46
Speaker 2: I don't think there was ever a big connection with Ellie, Joe who lost barely, who left. I thought there was a little connection with way Lowly and Chloe. So I think Chloe is a loved lice. She's mo yes, a plus mys in New York. I love Chloe. Let me ask you, nus, what do you think the statement Grant was trying to make keeping Rose after the drama.

00:11:08
Speaker 1: I think there's more to that story. I think, as always, we only see the edit that we see. I think there's more to the story. Some of the girls that went home, either he didn't form a connection with them or he didn't like what he saw. There was more to it.

00:11:25
Speaker 2: But I really feel like in the beginning and this is like what week three, No, it's week three, so I do know this that we chick chat it. We like the show, we enjoyed the show, but we didn't agree with everything that happened. I still want Grant to find love and I'm starting to get to know some of the women and we'll see what happens next.

00:11:51
Speaker 1: And can I say my hope for the thought, and remember it's still early. My hope is that Grant starts not saying to every woman, you would make a great mother, you would make a great wife, you know. I hope that he starts to differentiate between them so that we as viewers can get really invested in a few of.

00:12:14
Speaker 2: The ways and saying with the women, they'll just throw yourself on them, Yeah, talk about this, yeh yeah, that's that I've heard of.

00:12:21
Speaker 1: Their age, Susan, they haven't had the experiences we've had. The drama, the drama. Oh can we just say that the them ale.

00:12:28
Speaker 2: She went and said to him that everybody's mean, and that started that friction in the house when he said, oh yeah, so you know, there's always going to be a little bit of drama. There always is.

00:12:41
Speaker 1: But let's let's just hope that next week we start really forming relationships and we find out.

00:12:47
Speaker 2: Who's there for the right and then I get to pick my favorite sim get to pick your favorite. All right, it's time to move in to today's episode and all things Valentine's Day.

00:13:07
Speaker 3: So I really want to start us off with this. If you don't have someone, you know what you do? You have yourself, love your self, name, Happy Valentine's Day, Kathy. That's what I'm saying today.

00:13:21
Speaker 2: And I couldn't ask for a better day because we are in Saint Martin enjoying Valentine's Day. No one took us here. This is Kathy and iisbury vacation. And you know what, some people wake up really disappointed today when they don't have somebody in their life. You know, Valentine's Day is only a day. Sometimes you wake up feeling disappointed. Same on Christmas Day and any holiday that you don't have somebody special in your life.

00:13:49
Speaker 3: It's okay, it's okay. But here are two things I want to say. You know, it doesn't have to be Valentine's Day. We can also call it Gallentine's Day for all of us scales out there, there's been Valentine's Day. But the other thing I want to say is that to me, I call them Hallmark holidays. You know, yes, Valentine's Day is a special day, Galentine's Day, to remember yourself, if you know, if that's your way, remember who you love, the people you love. In my case, I send Valentine's to my kids and my grandchildren because I love them all. But you know what, I still say, it's not just the day, it's who do you love the rest of the year. Do you take care of yourself? Do you have self love? Do you take care of your friends and your family the rest of the year. So I try not to put too much importance on this one day. Having said that, would I have loved to have gotten a dozen in my case yellow roses from someone sure who doesn't want to be remembered and a box.

00:14:52
Speaker 1: Of chocolate seriously, Susan, and.

00:14:55
Speaker 2: A box of chocolate. Remember last year I had the Gallantine's Day. We had that big party. It was so fun with the.

00:15:02
Speaker 1: Girls they know And you do you eat the box of chocolates?

00:15:06
Speaker 3: I bet you're the girl that opens up one, takes a bike, puts it back, takes another bike, puts it back.

00:15:11
Speaker 2: No. I like the kind that come with They tell you what it is, you don't have to guess.

00:15:16
Speaker 1: Seriously, Yes, it's got a it's got a diagram of the little candy hearts.

00:15:21
Speaker 2: What are they called? Conversation hearts?

00:15:24
Speaker 1: Wait? Can I just say, wait, Susan, you shouldn't bring these things up because you.

00:15:29
Speaker 2: Know I'm gonna getting them last night.

00:15:32
Speaker 3: Susan Is always has to have blood work done and occasionally her sugar levels, you know, they might be a little too high. And I said, she said to us last time on the podcast, Oh you know, they want to redo and it's going to be Eastern.

00:15:45
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be eating candy.

00:15:46
Speaker 3: So we're talking on the phone less and she facetimes me and what does she have?

00:15:51
Speaker 1: What would you eat? Susan?

00:15:53
Speaker 2: Conversation hearts?

00:15:55
Speaker 1: What are they mean?

00:15:56
Speaker 2: I love them pure sugar? But you know what how they Valentine's Day? Were going to the beach today because it's nice and warm, and do you know at home right now it is snowing. That is my Valentine's gift right there being somewhere more.

00:16:14
Speaker 3: One more quick question, if you were dating someone, be honest, would you expect, and be honest, a gift flowers and chocolate or a gift like would you expect something.

00:16:27
Speaker 2: On Valentine's Day? What I always told anyone who was in the relationship with don't waste your money, get them the day before or a couple of days before.

00:16:37
Speaker 1: What do you want is what I'm saying.

00:16:38
Speaker 2: Do you want that?

00:16:39
Speaker 1: Do you want the traditional chocolate and flowers?

00:16:42
Speaker 2: Chocolate? I need flowers and she needs chocolate.

00:16:45
Speaker 1: People, she's lying a night out? Or you would rather a night out? What would what would your ideal Valentine's gift be?

00:16:53
Speaker 2: A single rose in a night out?

00:16:57
Speaker 1: Nice?

00:16:58
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:16:58
Speaker 1: Okay, Well.

00:17:02
Speaker 2: Will you take me out tonight? Kathy?

00:17:03
Speaker 1: I'll take you out. I'm not giving you a rose. That's weird.

00:17:06
Speaker 2: It's not weird.

00:17:08
Speaker 1: But I'll drink a glass of wine with you.

00:17:09
Speaker 2: All right, all right, perfect, all of the episode, and we're going to start with the question of the day. So, Kathy, what advice would you give to women who feel their boyfriends or husbands aren't the romantic type?

00:17:28
Speaker 1: To me, this is so easy.

00:17:31
Speaker 2: Ill come, I need romance.

00:17:34
Speaker 1: Wait, here's the deal.

00:17:38
Speaker 3: The first part of that, my answer is very simple, except the person you have, because you don't change people. That's my first bit. My second answer to that, second part of my answer is help them say to them Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Today's Valentine. You know, whatever it is, give them a little one and say, you know, I know you're not the romantic type, but can I tell.

00:18:05
Speaker 1: You what it would mean to me? It's communicating againstism. That word.

00:18:09
Speaker 3: We're gonna have to yeah, inscribe it our foreheads. Yes, tell them say I admit the obvious. Say I know you're not really into that, but you know I would love a bouquet. In my case of I love sunflowers, I would love a bouquet of sunflowers. Or I would love to go out for dinner and just share a you know, an appetizer, or I would love to sit in front of the fire.

00:18:31
Speaker 1: Give them the direction. Men oftentimes need direction.

00:18:36
Speaker 2: What do you think They're not the romantic type. They never were, so you knew that going in.

00:18:41
Speaker 1: That's what I said, except them who they are.

00:18:43
Speaker 2: Right, you have to and if it's that big of a deal to you, then don't go that far with them, because it's something you're always going to be disappointed about. Or perhaps like for in my case, when I was with people that weren't romantic, I was the romantic one. I would do the things that I would like to have received.

00:19:03
Speaker 1: So you bought yourself flowers and chocolate.

00:19:07
Speaker 2: I bought men well box of chocolates and stuff like that.

00:19:11
Speaker 3: Absolutely, but didn't you feel did you feel badly that they didn't have any romance?

00:19:16
Speaker 1: And the answer is yes, because I know.

00:19:17
Speaker 2: Yes, of course you do. But you feel good giving too, and you hope that they're getting it. You know, I went out and did this. This is something you should be doing.

00:19:27
Speaker 3: But see the difference between you and me. In this case, we said the same thing. It's just I would verbalize it. I would say, you know, mister Wright, I would have loved if it's past tense, I would have loved to get a book of flowers my birthdays in May. You know, will you put a note in your in your whatever, or put a note on their pillow tomorrow's my birthday, you know, help them?

00:19:52
Speaker 1: Help them?

00:19:53
Speaker 2: Sometimes men are so good to them every other way. They're just not that romantic. But your life is per fifth, you're no life. Probably they're having a good time in their marriage or with their men, and he's just not romantic. I mean, sometimes men aren't. I would have a difficult time with I.

00:20:10
Speaker 3: Was just gonna say, if you do not admit that you would have a difficult time.

00:20:14
Speaker 2: Definitely would have a difficult time.

00:20:16
Speaker 1: I mean we all like to be romance courted.

00:20:19
Speaker 3: I mean what else. All right, We're gonna move into our fan questions today and let's go. The first one is from Ashley. She says, Hi, Kathy and Susan, I need your advice. I've been dating my boyfriend for just about two months, and we've been official exclusive for.

00:20:40
Speaker 1: Like three weeks now.

00:20:41
Speaker 3: I'm literally already thinking about Valentine's Day and I'm stressed out. Do I get him something? What do I get a boy for Valentine's Day? What if he doesn't get me anything? Is that weird?

00:20:53
Speaker 1: Should he?

00:20:54
Speaker 3: I haven't had a serious boyfriend ever during Valentine's Day except when I was in high school, so I clearly don't know how to navigate this. Please help me get out of my own head. Oh man, let me just say, actually, you really are in your own head.

00:21:10
Speaker 1: Do what feels right? You want to get them a gift?

00:21:12
Speaker 3: Get them a gift if you want a gift, Like we just talked about the question of the day, if you're worried he's not going to get you one, talk about and say, hey, Valentine's Day is coming. How do you want to celebrate?

00:21:24
Speaker 2: What would you? That's a good one too. I used to run the Walmart and buy boxers with big Valentine's all over and something silly. But I did have something.

00:21:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did too, I did too. Yeah, that's funny. I think I bought my husband boxer shorts too.

00:21:39
Speaker 2: But they were two months dating, okay, and that weeks is official. So I'm sure he knows what Valentine's Day.

00:21:46
Speaker 3: And if he doesn't, wait, Susan, wait, let me do the math for you here. They met two months ago and they've been been dating my boyfriend for about two months. About two months. I'm gonna be generous and say it's probably under two months. But the point is they've been official that they're barely skinned to know each other.

00:22:06
Speaker 1: Do not buy him a promise ring.

00:22:08
Speaker 2: Oh god, no, no.

00:22:10
Speaker 1: But be cute about it.

00:22:11
Speaker 3: Be cute about it, do some fun and cute, keep it light and entertaining. And if you if you want something, you know, do not ask for a trip to Tahiti.

00:22:19
Speaker 2: But you know, say, don't overthink it, sweetie, don't you.

00:22:22
Speaker 1: Don't overthink it? Out to get out of your hand.

00:22:24
Speaker 2: If you feel like you'd be embarrassed if you didn't have anything for him and he had something for you, buy something that you could use to do that you didn't have to give it. Oh no, that way a second, but I would definitely get them. Wait a second, that brings up a whole different things, Susan. Are you saying if you bought a little gift, you're just a little gifty for.

00:22:43
Speaker 3: Your boyfriend of six minutes three weeks? Are you telling your exclusive boyfriend for three weeks? Are you saying that if he didn't give you the gift, you wouldn't give him yours because you bought something that was unison.

00:22:57
Speaker 2: Maybe it was candy, But I probably would because I want to prove a point. But I would because I like to give somebody something on that day. See that's me, And that would make them feel bad though you would, you know what I mean.

00:23:11
Speaker 3: So I mean whether it did or didn't, to me, it's an expression of love or care or just the joy of giving someone.

00:23:19
Speaker 2: Showing somebody you were thinking of them. That's what all it is. It doesn't matter the dollar amount, it really doesn't.

00:23:25
Speaker 3: Well it does for me, Susan, and I'm waiting for a really nice gift. So cough it up.

00:23:30
Speaker 2: Oh gush, thanks for asking me, good luck to get out of there.

00:23:33
Speaker 3: Wait, actually write us back. We want to know if you got a gift, what you got him. Ride us back. We'll need the update.

00:23:39
Speaker 2: But get out of your own head. It's all good and this is the beginning. So it's only three weeks. This is going to show you what it's going to be like every Valentine. I'm hoping he surprises.

00:23:49
Speaker 3: You, Susan. It's like the wedding, you know, the first anniversary. I think it is paper. If my daughter's first anniversary game, she goes paper, Hell would that?

00:23:58
Speaker 2: I don't want anything on paper, Harper.

00:24:00
Speaker 1: I said. I said, no, it could be really good. It could be plane tickets to Europe for six months.

00:24:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like, she thinks big, Kathy, you think big?

00:24:07
Speaker 1: All right.

00:24:08
Speaker 2: Next question is from anonymous. Anonymous asks, Hi, Golden Hour, I need some Valentine's Day help. This is going to be my twelfth Valentine's Day with my fiance, and my brain is out of ideas. We've been dating since college and have always had a great date ideas for V Day, But now I am tapped out of ideas. I really don't want to start giving up on making moments like these special, but I feel like I've run out of things to do. What do you suggest? And what am I going to do next year? And on and on and on? Please help? I love you guys so much.

00:24:52
Speaker 1: I can tell you. An ultimatum does me dressing?

00:24:56
Speaker 2: What about him? Gef coming up with ideas?

00:24:58
Speaker 1: Doesn't? I don't know.

00:25:00
Speaker 3: Here's the thing when this is why I'm old fashioned. When I read fiance, a lot of people just get engaged with no intentions of getting married.

00:25:07
Speaker 1: But I'm reading this twelve years a fiance.

00:25:10
Speaker 3: How about surprising with a match set of wedding How about how guys with a date circled, a wedding dress and an ultimatum you want a thirteenth Valentine's dam you're gonna marry?

00:25:24
Speaker 2: I mean, I do have an idea. Actually, what I do have an idea? When you run out of ideas, so you go away for a few days, and every year you go somewhere. It can be somewhere different. It doesn't have to be an airline ticket. I don't know where you live, but you can go to a wine thing for the weekend, or if it's during the week, take two days.

00:25:47
Speaker 1: Or it doesn't it have to be overnight. I love your idea.

00:25:50
Speaker 3: It could just be take a picnic somewhere, or you know, do a fun activity, go bowling, do something you've never done.

00:25:57
Speaker 2: I would not want to go bowling on my romantic V day.

00:26:04
Speaker 1: But what again, you and me? If I'm spending it with the person I love.

00:26:09
Speaker 2: It does don't care where I am or what I'm doing. Well, Anonymous, I hope that helps, but I would plan a little getaway. That's what I would get.

00:26:16
Speaker 1: I think that's a great idea. Or or you know, put ideas in a bowl and let him pick one out.

00:26:22
Speaker 2: That's a fun thing.

00:26:23
Speaker 1: I like, you know, let him pick something out, cook a meal together.

00:26:29
Speaker 2: He gets the throw in a few and that'll buy you the next five years.

00:26:36
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be something big.

00:26:38
Speaker 3: I think that we all sometimes fall into that trap and every year has to be bigger and better.

00:26:43
Speaker 1: Anonymous. It doesn't just do something, but you just write him a note and tell him how much you love him and how much you're looking forward to your wedding day. Did he That was a joke?

00:26:56
Speaker 2: Obviously, it's a fiance. Yeah, plan a day that on Valentine's Wait.

00:27:01
Speaker 1: Find a lot of people who have who are fianced, as they say in Gay Parrie, but they have no intentions of getting married.

00:27:09
Speaker 2: I could do that. I would be a fiance forever. Well, I'll see if I can dig up a fiance for you. Here I am on this beautiful island and no one asked yet.

00:27:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, we're gonna go looking all right. Question three is another anonymous question. Hi ladies, I've gotten myself into a bit of a situation and I really need your help. I got divorced from my husband, who is also the father of my ten year old daughter, about six years ago, and it wasn't a pretty split. He's a great father, but he was honestly a shitty husband and an even shittier ex. Wow, that clearly is something that gets under my skin. So it's made me pretty cynical when it comes to romance. So the other day I was at the store with my daughter and I asked what candy she wanted me to buy for the Valentine's Day tree we're making for her class. She scoffed and said, this love crap is a lie. I've literally said that on the phone to my girlfriends. When we got home and talked about it, I realized she's absolutely starting to absorb the pessimism I unknowingly spew about love.

00:28:19
Speaker 1: How do I fix this?

00:28:20
Speaker 3: I want to talk to her about the wonders of love and finding your person, but I'm still so hurt that I don't know where to start. Thanks, ladies, Wait, can I just say before you're going to take the first wrap on this? But this is what we were just talking about on another podcast. Children listen to our behavior. They in this case, she listened to what she said. But I'll bet you Anonymous is so negative about her ex husband and her daughter's and so maybe, but the daughter's.

00:28:51
Speaker 1: Absorbing the behavior.

00:28:52
Speaker 3: So Anonymous, when you say that you want her to believe in the wonders of love, you haven't taught her that much.

00:29:00
Speaker 1: But what do you say?

00:29:01
Speaker 2: Says it's a shame because what's done is done. But when you sit down with your daughter, tell her about the happy times when you married her father, and it was good, it was great. People do change, Things do happen. There's no guarantees. But don't give up on love because it is a special, beautiful, beautiful thing. I love that.

00:29:24
Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah.

00:29:25
Speaker 3: And I think also she can explain to her daughter that just because her marriage didn't work out and it's been bad for her, she can apologize. I would encourage you, in honors to apologize and say, you know, I did the wrong thing. I did the wrong thing. Just because your dad and I don't love each other anymore doesn't mean that either one of us can't find love again. And I think that's a point she needs to make to her.

00:29:52
Speaker 2: And maybe share with her that you're open to find love again.

00:29:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know what, an honust be the bigger person. Yeah's a shitty ex and a shitty husband, be the bigger person, because your daughter, as she grows older, she's going to see him for what he was. It's not about turning her against men or her father.

00:30:11
Speaker 2: Just let and do yourself a favor. Stop with the being so cynical about romance. Open yourself up again. No, you had a bed ride, Okay, it's over. Put it behind you.

00:30:23
Speaker 1: And well that's easier said than done, Susan, And she said, she's still so hurt.

00:30:27
Speaker 2: It's six years ago. Say so, let it go. Why hold on to that negativity. He might be a shitty ex. You know what, I don't. She said she's hurt, she's sad. We don't know the circumstances around right, No, the anonymous says, I'm still so hurt. So we don't know the circumstances around it. We don't know what happened. And maybe she's just really hurt by what he did or what transper in their relationship. So I think there's no We've said it before, there's no time limit on grief. I think there should be a time limit on anger. I agree with you on that, But I don't think there's a time limit on grief for a lost relationship.

00:31:14
Speaker 1: I don't.

00:31:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know there isn't. There isn't. But do your daughter a favor and share with her the good parts, because there are good parts. And I hope for her, Kathy, that she can let it go and open herself up to trust me.

00:31:29
Speaker 3: I guess you know, like us, Susan, I hope she finds love again. I hope her daughter learns how to love and can change her opinion. But let us know, anonymus, Please let us know what happens, and hopefully, hopefully you can turn this around. All right, you're ready to play another game, Susan, Here we go.

00:31:54
Speaker 1: It's called in or out.

00:31:56
Speaker 3: Of course, it's V Day or galde a, you know, G Day addition. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna be playing it's called in and out.

00:32:09
Speaker 1: In or out.

00:32:10
Speaker 3: We'll switch off reading the prompts about dating, relationships and more. We're going to give our thoughts on it. If it's in or out, Susan, go ahead and start us off.

00:32:21
Speaker 2: Okay, expensive preset dinners that are Valentine's Day themed out out out. I do not like a preset dinner. I want to go order what I want to order. I would definitely move to the next restaurant.

00:32:41
Speaker 1: Well, and when it says Valentine's Day theme, you know what came into my head.

00:32:46
Speaker 3: Shaped shaped into our heart or you know, potatoes with red food dyeing it. Getting your partner household appliances as a present, and like a blender or a vacuum if they're going to qualify that. If my husband is going to use the blender to make me a drink or he's going to vacuum the rugs for me, that's what and he wants it, man, that's what he's getting for Valentie's Day.

00:33:16
Speaker 1: Other than that, it's out.

00:33:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say out. But unless, of course, you've had a conversation and there's a gift involved, and he says that's what you really want, then you tell him what you really want. If that's the case.

00:33:28
Speaker 1: All right, yeah, all right, okayfe coffee dates with my partner or does or say that just you? How do you feel about.

00:33:39
Speaker 2: It a coffee date? I think for a first meat or something I say in me too.

00:33:45
Speaker 1: For a first date. Actually, I got to be honest. When my husband was live, it's.

00:33:49
Speaker 2: At first meet, it's a first meet.

00:33:51
Speaker 3: But can I just say when my husband's live, he didn't drink coffee, but I do. But every once in a while he would call me up and he would say, hey, what are you doing. You know, I'm buying you a vacuum cleaner so you can clean the house next week. And he would say, why don't we meet?

00:34:07
Speaker 1: Literally you want to go meet and have coffee or do you want to meet for an early lunch? He said, My good god, he was a good guy.

00:34:15
Speaker 3: But I'm just saying I loved those times like it was it wasn't expensive. It was just you know, we met at a solid place, had lunch, and eleven thirty.

00:34:23
Speaker 1: I love just.

00:34:24
Speaker 2: About meeting and being together a few minutes.

00:34:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, during the day, not after work when we're you know, we were both so tired. Anyway, Okay, dating apps.

00:34:34
Speaker 2: Well, it's a personal thing right now out, but I'd say in because it's it works for some people.

00:34:40
Speaker 1: Yeah. I wholeheartedly concur.

00:34:44
Speaker 2: Okay candy as a Valentine's Day present.

00:34:49
Speaker 1: Out for me. For me, I don't want to age.

00:34:53
Speaker 2: No, I don't want candy.

00:34:56
Speaker 3: I'm going to go to the winery since the girl who eats conversation hearts a night.

00:35:01
Speaker 1: But I don't chocolate.

00:35:02
Speaker 2: Candy that I want. Okay, talking stages Okay, if I were to say talking stages, I would assume that means you haven't met yet and you're just talking. I think that's necessary. Yeah, I don't want to do it too many times before we meet.

00:35:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I I agree. I like talking stages because I'm I for one. If you know, when I've been on dating apps and somebody reaches out to me and says, hey, let's meet right away, that kind of gives me the I I don't want to.

00:35:39
Speaker 2: I would give you the ick because I say that I don't want to talk forever. I want to just.

00:35:44
Speaker 1: No, I'm saying. It gives me the ick. If they say they want to meet right away.

00:35:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I do. I want to know, That's what I mean.

00:35:50
Speaker 3: I don't want to. I see that I want to talk a couple of times. I want to have those talking stages.

00:35:55
Speaker 2: And I know if I want to have to ask all the questions and get to know them, and I get and I feel say, Okay, texting.

00:36:03
Speaker 1: All day every day innerrounces and.

00:36:07
Speaker 2: I like attension, Guys. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Not all day every day, but a couple of times. Yeah, I like it.

00:36:15
Speaker 3: Well, since it says all day every day, I'm going to say out, okay, because you know what I think that I question whether that's about what's she doing? You know, where is she? If I text her and she doesn't answer what shes doing? I don't like that, you know. I don't like that.

00:36:32
Speaker 2: Well, I like text thinking of you or you know, how's your day? Things like that. That's where my mind goes. Okay, but that's okay, Okay, singles event event, I guess in I don't really go.

00:36:49
Speaker 3: To Wait, I want you to know. You just said with the most like you were smelling vomit. You made a face like like events.

00:36:58
Speaker 2: Well, you know what, that's how you go meet people.

00:37:02
Speaker 1: I guess. I don't think there's anything wrong with them. There's nothing wrong with them, but I don't like them. I feel they very.

00:37:07
Speaker 2: Feel like you're going to get hooked up.

00:37:09
Speaker 1: Or I just feel like it's contrived, it's a meat market. I don't like them.

00:37:13
Speaker 2: Okay, So a singles event, like, for instance, Kathy, if we hosted a singles event, who.

00:37:21
Speaker 3: Are you invitingism, Well, I would have very upper crust people that are very interested in meeting people.

00:37:29
Speaker 2: It would be very high end, well back around.

00:37:35
Speaker 3: Can I just say, I'm laughing because if you knew those quote unquote uppercrust people, you'd have already been on a date with every one of them.

00:37:44
Speaker 2: Well, I'm hosting this trying to get people together.

00:37:47
Speaker 1: I know, But how you going to find the guys? I don't know.

00:37:49
Speaker 2: I don't have to pay. I mean they're going to pay, jeez, yeah, they have to pay to get there.

00:37:55
Speaker 3: I think if I think if I if I were doing it, I would want it to be You're gonna laugh. I don't know why bowling's on my mind today, but I was one and I used to bowl.

00:38:08
Speaker 1: What do I know.

00:38:08
Speaker 3: I'm just saying I would want it to be something where people weren't standing around going oh did you see him?

00:38:13
Speaker 2: He just looked at me. Oh, Susan, have you ever been on one of those? Not it's just lunch, like a speed dating thing. You sit with one person and you go around the I've never done it, but it sounds interesting.

00:38:25
Speaker 1: I have never done speed dating. No either, but I kind of feel like, uh, I kind of feel like if you're that really and having been on the Golden batchelor, doing what you just said feels like a competition, like okay, ready, set go okay.

00:38:44
Speaker 2: And the idea behind it is to write your write and down scores or whatever. When you talk to a few each person and at the end you tally up who it is that you'd like to have an in depth conversation with.

00:38:57
Speaker 1: I can only have won.

00:38:59
Speaker 2: I don't know. I've never done it, but yeah.

00:39:02
Speaker 1: Maybe, Susan, maybe listen. I got a great idea.

00:39:05
Speaker 3: First, we're going to set up a primer for guys going on dating sites what to do and what not to do, and then we're going to put out an advertisement or advertisement if you're from across the pond, and we're going to say who wants to come to our singles event that we're hosting. There will be lots of champagne. Susan's going to cook everyone dinner.

00:39:28
Speaker 2: Not cooking, I know, I just.

00:39:31
Speaker 1: Know what happen.

00:39:32
Speaker 2: How about working out on the first date? Hell no, well, just it depends how you do. I mean, if it's in a gym, I think younger people might do that. I work out in the gym first, you know what, I would want to meet them before my first date. We're going to the gym.

00:39:51
Speaker 3: Well, I think younger people that might be appropriate. I think I work out at the gym all the time. But I don't want to meet a guy for the first time he's never seen, you know what I mean, in sweat clothes, with my hair pulled back and no makeup on. I'm a little more vain than that. All right, double dates in the beginning of the relationship.

00:40:13
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that.

00:40:13
Speaker 2: I'm okay with that too. It's kind of comfortable.

00:40:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm in with that. I have no prop with that. But Susan, what happens? What happens. I'm fantasizing what happens if you I'm serious, I'm waiting, like.

00:40:30
Speaker 1: I just want you to hear this. You and I go on a double date. I'm with you know, some great guy from Jones season. You're from some great guy from Jones season. I told you, I'm fantasizing. And then they both want to date me or they both want to date you. That's my nightmare. I mean, how uncomfortable would that be?

00:40:53
Speaker 2: Well, how would you know?

00:40:56
Speaker 1: How would you know?

00:40:58
Speaker 3: Leans over me, He leans over me and says, Kathy, I know I'm here with Susan, but could I get your phone number? That would be uncomfortable, and that that would be uncomfortable until I scribbled my number in capital numbers with my name and address. And how about p d A Yeah, I was just gonna say, I'm off on a tangent here, p DR.

00:41:19
Speaker 1: I'm in.

00:41:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm into. There's nothing wrong with it to a point, like you know, it's the point where you're grossed out, get a room, but there's anything wrong with it?

00:41:29
Speaker 1: I agree, asking cute guys for their numbers, and it absolutely I will never do I.

00:41:34
Speaker 2: Think I could do it.

00:41:35
Speaker 1: No, I don't.

00:41:36
Speaker 2: I will know that there's anything wrong with it, but I just don't think I could tell it.

00:41:42
Speaker 1: Ghosting. Gee, that just happened to me, Susan, what ghosting?

00:41:47
Speaker 2: Ghosting?

00:41:48
Speaker 1: Absolutely just you're apical use capital T.

00:41:55
Speaker 3: Ghosting is never Okay, I'm going to tell everybody since I brought it up, I'm going to tell everybody a little bit about what happened.

00:42:05
Speaker 1: I met this this guy reached out to me on Facebook.

00:42:08
Speaker 2: Dating a very very very.

00:42:13
Speaker 3: Very wealthy guy, probably the wealthiest guy I've ever met. But you know what, money doesn't talk to me. I'm not wealthy, but I got enough money to pay my bills and you know, travel occasionally. I'm good. But this guy had been married and had gotten burned, and then he had had a girlfriend and he'd gotten burned both financially, and so he was but he was. He said, you're beautiful, you're smart, you know. He said all the right things, said all the right things, took me out for dinner the whole nine yards. Talked on the phone a lot, and I alluded to this before I was telling my daughter, and she goes, mom, WHOA, he needs to slow down. I said, I know, it's a little uncomfortable for me, and so I kind of told him.

00:42:57
Speaker 1: That it was a little uncomfortable. And then there were a couple of the things that I won't go into that he said that I thought you and I guess, I guess I wasn't as subtle as I thought. I was about Oh, thanks a lot, Susan, and he ghosted me. And and here's the commendrum.

00:43:17
Speaker 3: In fact, I would like some people to write in I actually I've already asked Susan's advice. Do I I've never been ghosted before. And this guy, what does he loved bomb me? I mean he loved bomb me.

00:43:31
Speaker 1: So I'm actually, because I'm a smart girl here, I don't care. I actually was already trying to figure out how to extricate myself. I was going to extricate myself anyway. It was just I just thought it was going to be too much with him, but to ed ghost but never but he ghosted me. So here's the question, bator Nation, what do you think I'm serious? I will I want to hear your opinion. Should I reach out him and say what WTF? Like why did you ghost me? Just tell me? Never Susan said, not to do it.

00:44:09
Speaker 3: I just I'm just done because we had so many deep conversations about so many he.

00:44:15
Speaker 2: Told me, I say something, but I wouldn't ask.

00:44:17
Speaker 3: He told me things that he said he had never told anyone in his life, and of course I won't repeat them here. But we had these deep conversations, and in some ways it was great. In some ways it was too much, too fast. But so let me know, guys, should I reach out and say why did you gust me?

00:44:36
Speaker 2: Or or perhaps and all of our listeners should she say not classy like that's.

00:44:45
Speaker 3: That's what Susan suggested. Susan said, I should text him and say never so much.

00:44:52
Speaker 2: Never ask why. You're not going to get a real answer. Obviously, he has no class to do something like that. You know, it's a simple text. You don't even have to look people in the eye anymore and just say I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling it. Good luck to you. That's so simple.

00:45:08
Speaker 3: Well, as you said, it sounds simple, but it's high.

00:45:12
Speaker 1: You know what.

00:45:13
Speaker 3: I didn't want to and I wanted to give him a chance, because you know, as we get older, As we get older, sometimes we make snap judgments and go, he's out. And that's why you and I have talked, Susan. We're trying to give people more of a chance. So that's what I was trying to do.

00:45:29
Speaker 2: And we to expect them to give us a chance.

00:45:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know what, in my heart of hearts, Cathy's old intuition knew it wasn't him.

00:45:36
Speaker 2: Okay, how about no sex until a certain date? You put a date on it.

00:45:42
Speaker 1: Well, I think it means.

00:45:43
Speaker 3: I think they mean a certain amount of time has elapsed when you've been seeing someone. I would say, that's how I think. It depends on the relationship the person, how you're feeling all that.

00:45:53
Speaker 2: How about letting the guy fly you out?

00:45:56
Speaker 1: Absolutely, yes, in I wanted you to do it in Unison.

00:46:01
Speaker 2: But wait, wait, let me ask you if you've never met him before, Now that would be a little different. I'd still let him pay for the flight.

00:46:08
Speaker 1: But have you talked to him on the phone.

00:46:12
Speaker 2: Well yeah, if he's going to fly you out, obviously, but you're going to go stay with him.

00:46:16
Speaker 1: Or oh well that's what Susan.

00:46:18
Speaker 3: That was my next endaring question to you, would you if a guy flies you out? Which I would let a guy do that? You know what else, he'd be paying for my hotel room. I will not stay with a guy.

00:46:31
Speaker 2: Because you haven't met him. He could be a serial.

00:46:33
Speaker 3: I don't care if I met him. If i'm I mean, let's keep it PG here. If if I go to meet a guy and I'm standing in his home, I know I'm probably gonna get flack, but I think the expectation would be that I was going to sleep with.

00:46:48
Speaker 1: Him out here.

00:46:49
Speaker 3: I know, Well, I'm not sleeping with a guy until I'm comfortable sleeping with him.

00:46:53
Speaker 2: Well, everybody listening, please help us with Kathy's answer. I really want to know what you think, because this does it for this episode of Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.

00:47:04
Speaker 1: I'm interrupted. Would you let a guy fly you out and would you stay with him?

00:47:09
Speaker 2: No?

00:47:10
Speaker 1: You would let him fly us?

00:47:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd let him fly me out, but he'd have to get me a hotel room.

00:47:15
Speaker 1: Oh good, So I love you.

00:47:17
Speaker 2: I love if I've seen him before, Yeah, he can fly me out and I'll stay with him.

00:47:22
Speaker 1: Just with checking that we were on the same page.

00:47:24
Speaker 2: Okay, now, I'll try that again because we really want to know what you think about Kathy's situation. So please write us and let us know and check us out because we've done some great, great episodes. Thanks so much for tuning in.

00:47:39
Speaker 3: We can't wait to hear from you. I really can't wait to hear from you. Please submit your questions to us. Be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:47:50
Speaker 1: All you have to do to submit questions is go to Bachelor nation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour and make sure the listener paps are Happy Hours Bolden Hour on the iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to podcasts