364 | CCPT Gamechangers: How to Handle Children Who Dart Out of the Playroom

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing with the Game Changer series

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and we are going to talk about runners.

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i.e.,

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kids that dart out of the room.

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My,

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my name for them is runners,

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you may call them something else.

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Kids that

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will just

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in one split second,

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disappear from your playroom and you're chasing them

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down the hallway into the parking lot,

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wherever.

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But before we get there,

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I want to say a couple of things.

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For those of you that have been

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curious about the live event.

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We're actually putting together a curriculum video for you.

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So,

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if you want to know what you're going to learn,

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we're gonna have that out soon.

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So,

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I wanted to make you aware of that.

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And if you can't come in person,

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please do the webinar or the on-demand.

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It's gonna give you 12 CEs

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and it's nothing but CCPT.

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And so,

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I hope that that would be important to you.

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I hope that even if you can't come and hang out with me in person,

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that you would want to have those CEs and the CCPT training.

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So,

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make sure you get that before the end of the year.

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The prices will go up after the early bird pricing through December.

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And

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we're trying to make this an annual event.

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And so,

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hopefully,

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if you can't come this year,

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we would love to have you plan for

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next year,

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2027.

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OK,

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let's talk through runners.

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And

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really what I'm trying to do with this episode is equip you with strategies.

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There's never a way to completely prevent

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A child from leaving the playroom.

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And

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we set limits

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and we do things strategically so that it makes it

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a little more tricky for the child to leave.

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But a part of CCPT is that a child is going to leave the playroom at times.

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So,

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before I dive into

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strategies,

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we're going to talk about the why,

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cause that's all I ever want to talk about.

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I think that when we see a child

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asking to leave or trying to leave or leaving.

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We sometimes react

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and we're sometimes quick to

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Say something,

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set a limit

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where we feel like there's pressure to do something.

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I think one of the most important things that we can do

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is to

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Comment about the fact that the child is over at

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the door or opening the door or trying to leave

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and pseudo limits it.

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Oh,

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you're opening the door,

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but you know that our special playtime is just for the playroom.

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And see

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what it's all about,

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because sometimes it's,

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oh,

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I just forgot my water.

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Or,

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oh,

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I just have to give mom my blah blah blah,

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it's in my pocket and it's bothering me.

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Or

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I need to go to the bathroom.

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Or I'm just trying to go fill this cup so that I can make paint.

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Whatever

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the reason is,

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often

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it is not

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to be resistant,

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to be avoidant,

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to challenge limits and boundaries.

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Many times,

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it's a legit reason.

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And in those scenarios,

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we have to make a judgment call.

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How can I remain CCPT

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but honor the child's needs?

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If a kid,

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for this is for me,

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I'm not saying this is universal,

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but

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if a kid needs to go get water,

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if a kid wants to have snack early

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and they choose to get snack mid-session instead of

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at the end of the session because they're hungry,

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obviously the bathroom.

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If they choose to.

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Take their jacket off and go give it to mom.

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If it is a legit reason,

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and you don't perceive the why

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to be related to limits

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or boundaries or avoidance or resistance.

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In my

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practice.

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I say,

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oh,

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you're choosing to go give that to mom,

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and then the child gives it,

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comes right back.

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It's not disruptive.

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It's not prohibitive.

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It doesn't cause any issues.

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There are absolutely times

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when I know,

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I don't even think I know

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that a child is

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resistant,

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avoidant,

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pushing limits,

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testing boundaries,

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whatever.

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In those scenarios,

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I would immediately go to,

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oh,

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but you know that the playroom's not for leaving.

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Because those are the kids that are not going to come back in.

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Those are the kids that are not going

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to abide by a limit,

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because here's what often happens.

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Oh,

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you'd really like to go out and give that to mom,

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but you know that our playtime is just for the playroom.

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If you choose to go out and give that to mom,

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You choose to come right back into the playroom.

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Yes.

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Then they go out to the lobby,

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then they sit down,

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they curl up on mom's lap,

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and they never leave that lobby for the remainder of the

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35 minutes that you still hadn't finished in the session.

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Those are the kinds of kids that you have to recognize it for what it is,

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and you change your tactic a little bit.

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As far as strategies for in the playroom.

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Unequivocally you need a spinny rolly chair.

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It can be a stool.

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It can be a chair.

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It can have a back,

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no back,

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whatever you want it to be,

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but a spinny rolly chair.

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And you remain within 2 to 3 ft of the child

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in the playroom.

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So as they're navigating the playroom,

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You roll and spin yourself wherever you need to be.

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If there is a child that has already darted out

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in earlier sessions or an earlier part of that session,

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if they are prone to be a runner,

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if you know that they're testing boundaries,

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if they're wild and crazy and they're doing all kinds of things,

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and you think this is a kid that would probably

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just open that door and run out into the hallway.

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You strategically position yourself in front of the door.

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Not the whole time,

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but,

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OK,

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look,

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let's be real.

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If the kid's on the other side of the playroom,

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nowhere near the door,

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you don't need to be in front of the door.

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But if the child

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is testing boundaries

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and is dysregulated and is trying to break as many limits as possible,

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because they don't have any self-control at this moment,

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and

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you think this kid could just dart out that door.

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Roll yourself over

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in front of the door if the child is close to the door.

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If they're over behind the puppet theater,

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obviously you can be over by the theater.

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So I wanted to make that really clear.

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I actually watched a coaching video

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last week or so,

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and

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I had just,

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I don't think I'd been clear enough that you don't

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have to position yourself by the door the whole session.

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It's just for kids that you think might

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run out.

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And the goal is

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barriers

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to.

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The disregulated behavior.

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In other words,

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the child is still going to want to break limits and test things

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and avoid compliance

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and be all over the place.

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We're not

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doing anything about that.

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We're not even stopping the child from leaving.

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But if we are positioned in front of the door

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and they fling the door open and it hits the back of our chair.

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They can't just dart out into the hallway and run.

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So it's just one extra barrier.

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We're not trapping the child in there,

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we're not insisting that they stay,

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we're not

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tying their hands and saying you're never going

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to leave this playroom until time is up.

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This is just

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a physical barrier

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to them opening the door and darting,

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because many of you,

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I watch enough play sessions,

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many of you.

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Don't have a lobby.

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Many of you

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have stairs or elevators

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or all kinds of other colleagues' therapy rooms that are not seeing children,

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you know,

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there's a couple meeting next door

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and the kid runs out and flings open that door,

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runs into an elevator,

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up a stairwell,

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out into a parking lot.

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I've watched plenty and had plenty of discussions about sessions where the kid

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opens the door and is outside before the therapist can blink an eye.

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So there are safety concerns,

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there are liability concerns,

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there's all kinds of stuff.

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You're just trying to make sure that it's not quote,

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easy

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to

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run out of the playroom.

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And the hope is that over time,

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You continue to set neutral limits,

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you continue to give appropriate choices.

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You continue to reflect feelings.

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And the child no longer needs or wants to test boundaries,

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no longer needs or wants to escape the playroom.

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And everything is more settled,

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but until we get there,

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we're just trying to accommodate

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for the need that some children have

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to escape.

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So my hope is that that encourages you,

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we all have kids that are prone to

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dart out.

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The why matters though.

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Because

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if a child

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opens the door

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to look down the hallway

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because they're playing

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espionage

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and all they want to do is pretend like they're

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checking to see if anyone's out in the hallway,

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and as soon as the door opens,

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we're like,

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Oh,

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you really want to leave.

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They may not really want to leave.

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Having their hand on the handle,

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opening the door a crack,

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all of those things,

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we don't want to presume intent.

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We don't want to immediately go to,

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they're trying to leave the playroom.

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Often they're not.

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And even if they do leave the playroom,

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often there's a valid reason.

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And

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in my practice,

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I

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am OK

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with them doing those things

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when I understand what the child's needs are

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and the why.

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There are other times when I'm going to immediately set

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a limit because I know where the child is.

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This is a clinical instinct issue as well.

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So it's strategy and skill.

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It's also clinical instinct.

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And when those all come together,

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we can better manage kids that want to run.

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So,

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hopefully that gives you some hope.

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If,

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if you've had kids that are darting out of your playroom,

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maybe that gives you some marching orders.

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Also,

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Merry Christmas.

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I hope that you all have a wonderful time.

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If you're celebrating Christmas,

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I hope that you have a wonderful time with your family and your friends.

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And that you enjoy just taking a moment to pause

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and recognize the gifts that we've been given.

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And

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from my family to yours,

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I hope that you have a really merry Christmas,

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and I'm looking forward to

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kicking off the new year

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really soon.

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Love y'all.

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We'll talk again soon.

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Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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For more episodes and resources,

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please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.