Ep. 381: Winter Mailbag (Part 1)

It's the Lapsed Fan Wrestling podcast with Jack and carn S e O and JP
Sorrow. He's a lapsed fan and all my years and wrestling, I never
seen anything and it's the laps fan name by the one in the ring.
Forget about Slado. He the real king of swing. When the bell goes
in and the kick like me throwing in the corner. But it's lash like
stick. Even Jerry King can take off the crowd nodded in his head like
a Steve low Brown. Would you get low down? Go even high up?
Flipp you on your head, but you know cool driver, you speak
more and Dragon spits fire, give you more shock than when he treats higher
drop a more truth than the con of sniper unless you with a coconut,
Roddy Piper, Jack a JP. He like j Y d drop the cupcakes
and gold the brain Bob means the best podcast Frost start the close cloud.
If you all been as a classic a pose, It's one of my favorite
parts of hosting The Lapsed Fan Boss. We're coming off a journey yep of
blood, sweat and tears. Yes, and you know lots of blood this
time, lots of blood, lots of fire, lots of wire. The
credit belongs to the man in the arena with dirt on his face and all
the rest, and we get to kick back, We get to bask in
the glow of people, you know, appreciating that what we spent all these
months doing will the value of it will only be clear in hindsight all those
years down the road where people were, who was that Terry Funk? At
least that's always the way. That's always the way. Ian, That's the
same. I mean, look, I think you know the proof is in
the pudding because of that particular podcast. Thank you all right? How did
I fail to make that a bite for this episode? Can you work on
that? It's like going, I can definitely pull it up, But yeah,
they'll never sleep on that. That, of course a reference if you
haven't been up on it lately to Holt mccaleney, who played Fritz von Eric
in the Iron Cloth film, acknowledging in an interview with our buddy Josh Nason
at Wrestling Observer that the lamentable tragedy of World Class and the TLF Archives was
basically his entire homework to prepare to play the role of Fritz which is of
course only appropriate. And of course his is the early role in the whole
film that is universally praised, actually performance, the performance universally praised. And
so yeah, that's another example of how you know, we hear at the
Lapsed Fan are in the business of putting things on the shelf for posterity as
much as tickling the fancy of the moment. Because the fancy of the moment
is ephemeral, it changes, it shifts it. Terry Funk was timeless,
absolutely, and because we took so many months addressing his career appropriately, they're
created obviously a backlog of some wonderful missives and letters from the Solar System that
we weren't able to to in a quarterly mailbag special as we're accustomed to here
in our calendar. So yes, here we are post journey, lots of
great letters and reflections on Terry Funk and all we learned about his life and
times and in ring career here on this episode, and also just some great
letters that we've come to expect from the best listenership in all of podcasting.
They are fucking straight the TLF Solar System and they're gearing up and the support
is coming through. The ticket orders are coming through April seventh, Punchline Philly
in Philadelphia, high noon. Yes, the co chairs take the stage once
again, and Boss, I think it's safe to say there's not a lack
of things to talk about. Would I would imagine that there's not I would
imagine that there's that There are you know, kind of a few things that
may be in discussion, you know, maybe pertaining to sexual endeavor, maybe
pertaining to period endeavor, period maybe maybe maybe uh you know, changing of
of of of maybe cards subject to change, I should say very much.
So let's just say this. If you know lapsed Vince, if you know
this American work coming up April seventh in Philly, it's not finish the story.
It's finished the allegory with your fucking co chairman on the stage, Punchline,
Philly, no one will soon forget it. And uh, we've got
a lot of fun stuff lined up for you. Oh yes, for our
Bozo's biceps and bullshit brunch. Okay, if the WW isn't going to do
it right, that's where we come in. That's right, and they're not
going to So no, no bagels, And I don't think anyone wants bagels
and bacon from the e uh anytime soon? There's something obnoxious about it all
of a sudden. No, yes, adotally. It's it's such a it's
such a fucking you know, I think, uh uh, I think,
I think? Where is it? Larry? Larry says it's uh, I
believe. Yeah, you watch wrestling? What is that? Yeah? Exactly
and right not to mention that where the fucking just when you think it's safe
to come out of the closset as a wrestling fan. And that's why we're
calling you together, that's why we're ringing the bell, the liberty bell,
if you will, on High New April seventh, the punchline fan, who's
the big phony baloney? Because there's no better week than WrestleMania weekend. To
remind yourself that, no matter how mature you think the wrestling business has become,
and no matter how mature you think you've become as a wrestling fan,
that the wider world sees you, as you know, part and parcel in
a kin to all of its scandals, as partially responsible in terms of voting
with your wallet for all of the things that happen that are anti social and
foolish and duplicitous and carnival like in the industry, and The Lapsed Fan is
the only podcast to grapple with that reality buried deep in the psyche of any
self respecting, self aware wrestling fan. And when we gather on WrestleMania Weekend
with some of our favorite people at Punchline Philly, it will be in the
spirit of trying to figure out why we still stand here and why we're running
on ten years here at The Lapsed Fan TLFX style. So we're very excited.
I mean, what a roster already we've got in terms of folks that
are emailing us proof of purchase as we've requested at the Lapsed Fan at gmail
dot com. Some real heavy hitters from the Solar System are getting on planes,
some from the entire other side of the world to join us a murderer's
row at Punchline Philly. Unlike last time in La, this is not a
tough hour at a tough night, Right, isn't traffic? There's part of
that if you're making plans, And many of the folks that will join us
didn't even don't even plan on going to Lincoln Financial Field and watching WrestleMania for
sure. But if you're within the sound of our voice and you plan on
being in Philly for Wrestling media weekend as tens of thousands, will you know
what choice you need to make. You know what will leave the most resonant
impression on the weekend, and that is the co chairs laying down the truth
of what it means to be a wrestling fan, better or worse, mostly
worse. Yes, and we're going to be doing it with many of our
friends from the stand up comedy world in concert again, with our buddy Ray
Goots, who's been working hard to pull together some fine Philly area stand up
comics who know the industry, know the sickness of wrestling fandom. Can't beleave
boss. I would imagine that the Philly comics know about the sickness more than
most. Yeah. Anybody who's ever been within a ten mile radius of the
ECW Arena, Yeah, is so much closer to that beating heart of sickness
and vice. And Terry Funk introduced us to that world, did he not.
Oh? Yes, Indeed, with flaming branding, iron and barbed wire
and general insanity, chairs flying the sky completely unnecessarily being tossed into the ring
bye bye by people who have no idea what they're fucking doing. Well,
he stands there and sells the chairs, dinging them off the head. Why
don't you go ahead and show that ship in the ring got the damn thing
going? And I bring up the branding iron for one reason. Yes,
if you have him been following us on X and if you didn't catch the
announcement at the tail end of the final episode of Lapsed Funk last week,
a very very special prize that we're pleased to bring with us to Punchline Philly
on Sunday, April seventh, and present to the winner of a raffle that
we're going to be conducting announcing the winner at the conclusion of the show.
This is indeed a one Texas genuine Terry Funk Branding Iron. Boss. Mmmmm.
We didn't get a lot of time to get that response from you because
we were threading, as you know, threading a story there at the end
of the Lapsed Funk, But I dropped the news on you that we were
able to secure from the Terry Funk of state sale. It's it's it's so,
I mean the fact that that all that stuff in that photo was was
purchased, was obtained, is really I mean I I look at that photo
and I'm like, holy shit, there's so much stuff there. Most importantly
the paper shredder. I want to know that's that the paper shredder story.
That's what I want to know. Yeah, why they even bother to throw
it? I want to know how many? I want to know what papers
that that fucking thing is shred Oh, I don't think you wanted to.
We might have to completely redo the lapsed Funk if we found out. That's
very true. But the branding iron, I mean that was just I'm I'm
I'm stunned, I'm appalled, I'm excited, and you know, I think
someone someone tweeted or were an email. I mean, we should maybe consider
branding people while we're well, I mean we play in doing that anyway,
just not necessarily with Terry Funk's branding iron. But that's a great idea.
We should Maybe we should make a branding iron with the TLF logo and just
like start sticking it on people's asses. Extremely appropriate and uh, I truly
claim ownership of people. So the terms are very clear. We have premium
seating, which guarantees you front row seats to the show and of course general
admission seating as well. Punchline Philly is not a joke in terms of the
venue. Just look through some of the I thought it was a comedy club.
What's that? I thought it was a comedy club. What do you
mean. It's not a joke. It's a place. It's a place.
It's not a joke that's filled with jokes. I guess not to mention us,
right, yeah, right, but them all. Just scroll through the
roster of high level comics that are going to be performing at this venue in
the days and weeks ahead, and you'll get an idea. We're coming with
the heavy art killery, and you know this isn't necessarily going to be something
where you're going to, you know, have an absolutely wonderful seat if you
don't pick up some of those preferred seats. And the key to it is
that the raffle that we will be conducting to give away Terry Funk's branding iron
to a member of the Solar System. You get two tickets out of the
raffle if you buy the preferred seating, send proof of purchase to the lapsed
fan at gmail dot com. If you do not do that, you will
not be entered into the Raffle. And if you buy a general admission ticket,
you will get one entry into the Raffle or reach general admission ticket.
So we're excited to be able to do this. This is just this is
just lap serendipity. Oh yeah, excellence, I mean, yes, yep.
Never could have expected that something like this would come together. And what's
such a killer is that the the branding iron was buried in a lot,
like you said, of this totally miscellaneous stuff from around Terry Funk's home,
including a paper shredder and like lamp posts, and like it's such a bizarre
like like I guess, I mean they're either there either brilliant or they're insane
in the fact that they're like, well people would want this, you know,
Like that's you know, like the fact that they you know, I
think of the paper shredder and that box of things I know I'm looking at
right now, Like what what was what is that that you get that that
wooden box, a wooden stationary box, like you'd put pieces of paper in
it, and what's in there? There's there's empty empty. Oh you didn't
get the can of thing in the black book. Let me pull up what
you're talking about in the photo. There's a there's a there's like a black
can of I don't know something. And then and then a little black book
is in there. Maybe it's a stamp thing. I don't know. Let's
take a yeah, yeah, it was a stamp. Okay, it was
a stamp with just like the address And then you see that that claw looking
thing is a head massager. Yep, yes, yes, and you have
a little uh, it's like an address book that says PBR, which stands
for professional bull Riding. That's right next to the spectacular gas fucking flashlight that
you could knock somebody out with up and over the head with it. Yep.
Yeah, And I was fucking you know and boss, almost a complete
collection of VHSS of wild vs. I'm so excited about the Terry Funk television
series, The West Tern Style Show. We're gonna that's gonna have to be
fuck it, it's gonna have to be a real We're gonna have to that
might have to be a little Yeah, we're gonna have to so many journey
at some point. Yeah, we're gonna have to sit with the rules Committee
of under the cinemat to uh yea, to all out. Well, we
did bay Watch for Rick, we did theay Watch for Rick Flair. I
mean, I think this is gonna it's gonna have to happen, and I'm
very very excited about it. You don't come into possession of things like this
from that from Terry Funk's own hands and not act upon it. I mean
you, I mean, look at it. Oh yeah, I mean there's
so much ship there. His copy of Roadhouses, copy of Paradise Alleys.
You get like four copies of road sure does plus you take copies three copies
and take that off the ev Right taped off television. You see the you
know the figured I told I told y, I understand the I might as
well buy Roadhouse because then we'll get a little bit of cut from it.
I'll get a cut of the damn thing. We'll get some money back.
I understand there are a couple of copies away from reaching a different threshold in
terms of royalties. That's what I've been told. You know. You know
I'm serious about that, Vic, I'm serious. Look, I mean,
I really do. I mean that sincerely. I want to get the damn
threshold to the next level and we start getting paychecks. Let's get the threshold
to the next level. April seventh in Philly. What do you fucking say,
boss? I think it's Listen, it's just the way it's got to
be, all right, It's not again. You know the rules, you
know the situation. This is not something that you want to be at.
It's not something that you should be at. It's something that you need to
be at. It's something that you must be at because it's the real,
the real premium live event of WrestleMania week. I love it so much.
It's the closest thing to truth that's going to be happening so week. And
I can tell you that. And I can't promise one truth, but I
can promise, if you're great in a curve with all the other industry people
that are going to be on the ground in the city of Brotherly Love,
that we will index very high and were I want to it, and by
the way too, I will. I mean, I don't know. I
think I think there should be some kind of I should get some kind of
reward when this happens. I I when when so so, Jack texted me
about, oh so, so, I want to tell you the whole story
here. So so last Friday I texted Jack a picture, this fucking idiotic
picture of the rock from Instagram. Oh my god, and and and uh
uh uh you know, and then I focused in on the fact that he
did his whole, his whole seven bucks thing again. In it, he
goes from seven bucks to this surreal day, which again with the sun at
the stock exchange right with him at the stock exchange, you know, with
a fucking TKO championship belt next to him. Such a fucking phony. And
I said, he can't not say it. And then Jack wrote back,
did you see what happened on SmackDown? Didn't know about it? Talk about
la I had no fucking clue and so and so he texted me the link
and and and then I watched the whole fucking thing and this is what I
wrote back. I said, I'm watching the whole segment. I can't wait
to see Dwayne get gassed five minutes into the match and tear ten muscles and
fuck up a dozen moves. Now, I know it won't be necessarily that
many muscles and that many moves, But I want some kind of prize when
most of this fucking happens. Remember Shane last year? Oh come on,
yeah, I fucking to punks, amazing thing, Yes, I want listen,
he's not gonna be able to withstand five minutes of wrestling. What is
he fifties? Fifty? What? Now? I can't bear to look it
up, like it's just gonna be it's gonna be an embarrassment. No matter
how hard he tries, he just he's too fucking big. He's just he's
he's he's not a human being. You know when he comes to the top
of the ramp and he stands there already bounces on the tip of his toes.
Yes, he could barely do that. On Friday, I saw,
I saw, I saw. I watched the whole I watched the whole segment,
and I watched this fucking shot of of of fucking Cody Rhodes, just
like, I don't want to interrupt your boss, but what did uh what
did you fucking say last year? What did you fucking say last year?
In La Listen, I'd say said it. This is the story's never getting
finished. It's never going to be finished. That's it's gonna happen. And
and you know, here's a guy, and I don't care, he's gonna
at the most, at the most, at the most to get that bullshit
day to day world fucking big gold belt rip off. Do you imagine that
they're trying to like spin a yarn about how that's actually the Dusty Belt.
Hey, guys, Dusty wasn't a workaday champion either. He held that he
had that belt for like two weeks at a time. Really in the grand
scheme he held it three times and probably didn't get more than six weeks total
of right of winning the belt, which also, when you think about it,
he did. It's like dust you know, Cody, Dusty finished the
story. He did it himself. He won the title three times. Well,
that's the irony is the story is always that Dusty almost won the WWF
title against Billy Graham and MSG and they reversed the decision. So it's always
been about that belt. It's always been about the New York broat right,
And now they're pretending that somehow the belt Seth has is closer to the spirit
of the American dream, when Dusty never worked that schedule ever. I mean
he had that. He had it in eighty one for like a cup of
coffee when you know, the transition to power was happening at the n w
A and Jimmy Barnett was booking the champ to strengthen territories as opposed to pick
you know, a real a real time shooter, you know, or a
guy that could handle himself in the ring, who could you know, travel
the world. Really, as we talked about in the Lapsed Funk, that
era pretty much ended when Funk dropped the belt up, when Funk dropped the
belt of Race and then Race dropped the belt to Dusty. He was right,
yeah, yeah, so you know Dusty had it for like a week
and a half. I mean not literally, I mean that's more where the
Tommy Rich train. But he never named Dusty's big rain as world champion,
Like what are you talking right about? Right? He won it from Flair
Great American Bashiety six and lost it in record time relatively speaking. He just
had a couple of flashpoints where he won the belt. There was a big
celebration in Champagne popped, but he was never a workhorse champion. That's ridiculous,
right, or at least World Champion, you know down Florida hill straps
that he you know, had for a more prolonged period of time. But
it's just it's wonderful to see, and it's wonderful in terms of like our
wrestling fans can trick themselves into thinking that they now have agency. No,
I mean Lapstvin said this at the very first star cast in twenty eighteen,
right after all they said, what's going to be Aw's undoing is that they're
going to hand over the reins to a fan base that thinks they now have
the right to author everything that happens in the organization. Yes, yes,
from how to handle pr crises to how to book women, how to time
out the show, to how much high spots to allow, to who to
push not push, who's being under pushed. And this is what you get.
You get a situation where the fans start to believe that they actually matter.
That's right, that's old hat. Now, with guaranteed TV money,
the fans do not matter. Didn't we just go through the pandemic where everyone's
margins stayed very handsome and they had empty fucking buildings and nobody lost a television
deal and nobody really you know, WW didt those layoffs out of an abundance
of paranoia. Apparently they didn't even need to do it. They hired a
lot of those people back right month, folks a fuck you things. And
so we're learning the lesson all over again that if you've been plugged in a
TLF for the past ten years, nothing has caught you by surprise. And
that's in the spirit of Terry Funk right seeing around the corner. Yep,
that's right. That's why he proved me such a kindred spirit over all those
weeks of broadcasting. So the branding iron can be yours. It might be
difficult for folks who plan on going to the stadium after our show to carry
a fucking branding iron into the problem. It's not our problem. We'll try
to accommodate. Maybe we can meet up on Monday to hand it off if
you can't take it with you on Sunday. But don't let that stand in
the way, please, that's a poor excuse. We can definitely figure it
out. And look, that's that's also what we're there to do. We're
there to take in WrestleMania to night. Your co chairs will be in attendance.
At the show. You know, we watch and process modern WWE,
so you don't have to in soumlartings. And what a great opportunity Sunday at
noon to be able to take in what happened on Night one, to look
ahead to what happened on Night too. I'm sure people will show up to
the punchline. Philly Boss eminently satisfied with the Night one undertaking and very excited
about Night too. Just absolutely absolutely. By the way, I just want
to let you know, so Dusty Rhodes had a total of three official world
title reigns with the NBA belt. For if you include his his less than
one night as the Midnight Rider winning the belt, that's either way it they
totaled one hundred and seven days. So he's a workhorse champion. Yeah,
of course, i mean, what what did you bring that up? I'm
saying, I'm going I'm proving that you know he is, he is the
workhorse champion and Seth kenn all the time walk. By the way, we
just trended. We decided to pretend that Seth didn't just tear like two knee
ligaments a week ago because all of a sudden, you know, Punk gets
hurt and they get to shuffle the deck and then you know, fine with
it. I'm fine with it. Listen, listen the rock. Yes,
now picture it, yes and accept it. Oh all right, he's fucking
he's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna. He's you know, no matter
what happens with Roman, I mean, I assume he's gonna lose, although
you know, then again he is now, he is now on the board.
Maybe he does put himself over, you know, maybe we're at that
lee then well I'll be on the B O R E D. Yeah,
exactly, he fucking puts himself over. You know, can you imagine if
that's what happens Rome. It's like, you know, twenty six minutes in
Roman goes with the spear rock side steps that Roman hits the buckle rock bottom
one B three barely lifts him up. To keep in mind, because again
he yeahs abductive muscle. At this point, he's he's ripped, he's ripped
muscles, he's gassed for twenty one minutes and he and he barely like lifts
him up, and like I would imagine that that one foot of Romans doesn't
even lift, doesn't even leave the ground, you know, So it's not
even like a real rock botto where he's up in the air. It's like
one foot he can't even like he's so scared of his own fucking well being
because Rock so sloppy at this point. Now he'll he'll come in ready,
he'll come in spry. I don't know what your problem is. It's not
like the Scena matches were a decade ago. My god, oh my god,
they weren't. They were more than a decade ago or eleven. The
last one was eleven years ago. Yeah, WrestleMania twenty nine, we were
there. He ridiculous. Oh my god, Rock Rock, you're fired up,
We're fired up. Okay, the co chairmen are on the ground for
an even number, well not even number, but you give it, I
mean a zero. WrestleMania forty and uh he's fifty one years old, fifty
one almost such. You a fucking picture that I think really really encapsulates what
we're looking for. I've never seen his picture before. It's not even hard
to find. I've never seen it before. But like zoom in. Look
at his face. Look at his face, Okay, look at someone who's
terrified inside. Look at I mean, look at all the wrinkles, look
at look at I'm not I'm I'm stating facts. I mean, this is
Wikipedia fucking headshot photo. And he just looks awful. He doesn't he looks
incredible. Ah, he looks awful like these people are grinding an under armour
because of this guy, I mean, sweating like you would punishing themselves for
being fat. Listen, I listen, I don't, I don't care.
He looks he's his time is coming gone, and I feel like we're going
to have a new head of the table. People just like filing out.
He's in the middle rope with a belt hoisted in the air. Yep,
yep, can't wait. I mean we were there last year when so far
emptied out in a and a fucking you know, I don't know how to
even describe it in a huff. I guess after Cody went down and the
reality set in. Tremendous stuff, tremendous stuff. Things only only get more
interesting, and your co chairman look forward to seeing you in Philadelphia for all
of the festivities. So if you're looking for tickets, please just google Punchline
Philly and then in their schedule page, just type lapsed and you'll see the
biceps bosos and bullshit brunch. It's you know, deeper down the calendar,
so it's better to just search to get there right away. And we can't
wait to see him and this is this is really coming together beautiful, so
much fun looking forward to that. But we're here on business and you know
one thing we always like to do is did you hit me something else?
No? Nope, remind folks, done just a click. That was just
a click of my of my mouth. I've remever, I can never trust
those little noises in the background. We always need to remind you what's available
for your Patreon dollars. So many messages here in this mailbag special that we're
going to convey came via the one of a kind community that's coalesced around our
Patreon posts over the years. Just some of the coolest motherfuckers talking about wrestling,
oh yeah, dissecting what it all means, and of course not just
wrestling, because our EP and above tier has access to the one of a
kind series under the Cinemat where we dive TLF style into cinema that has something
to do with wrestling or wrestlers. Yes, yes, most recently All the
Marbles, the nineteen in film Mars with Peter Falk managing a female tag team
on the on the women's wrestling circuit. Just an incredible time spent there,
and recently recently talking about some Kevin Nash movies as well. Boston, what
I understand we did, you know, we did talk about, well,
not a Kevin Nash movie per se, but we were we were talking about
ready to Rumble. We did ready to about the beginning of the year,
first movie of of of twenty twenty four, and I said that I had
put in a cameo request from Kevin Nash because he's not in the movie and
it's like the movie because he's done the movie and I and it made no
sense to me why some of the biggest stars in the company weren't in the
movie. And so I was like, you know, I want to know
why he's not in it. And so I put in a cameo request.
But it didn't cut. You know, by the time we recorded it,
it had not been received. But I did get it. And should I
should I mention the second question because I had two questions for him in the
cameo. Is it I don't think he's giving anything away by saying, oh
no, please go ahead let him know what they're about to hear. When
I so, I asked him why he wasn't in the movie because let me
see I can actually drop you know, I should find up my h the
actual question that I asked him, so if he had any more prompting,
I mean, ready, when we launched under the Cinemat, the first movie
that comes to mind is Ready to Rumble. Yes, you know, it's
like this is were squarely in the Wheelhouse and Under the Cinemata is so wonderful
because it gives us a forum to address these sort of wrestling adjacent things that
don't quite qualify for a standard TLF episode. We've done movies in the past
that are a square on the money of wrestling, Thunder and Paradise, so
they're wrestling, yes, and others, but you know, this is the
wrestler got a second, you know, second thing because I you know,
for the one hundredth episode, because I was looking in and there was just
so much stuff that didn't apply to the main show in terms of the actual
making of the movie and discovering the the incredibly dense history of the writer of
the wrestler, yes and stuff, and finding that he was just this fucking
what was the name again, I can't remember his fucking name, but he
was Oh my god, but it was my tone. But he was basically,
he was just a he was a guy, you know, just he
was a wand to entertainer Eugene Gump. Yes, of course, how can
I fucking forget Eugene Gump. But he wanted to be an entertainer, you
know, he wanted to be in the busines. And he was just this
local you know, this this big fish in a little pond type character in
in Ohio. Amazing. So here never know about these movies if not for
this this series. I I I get a big kick out of it,
and I enjoy it, and I both dread and love the the the the
rabbit holes that open up. That's when you know you're all the money,
when you get that combination of dread and excitement because I'm because you know,
it's like I I want, I give myself plenty of time to get it
done. And then as I'm kind of finishing up, something dawns on me
and I'm like, maybe I should, Maybe I should fucking overturn this rock.
And then it's like, oh no, look there's a bunch of other
shit in here. Hence, like just like with a with Mildred uh,
Mildred Burke, that was it. I was I had a whole I had
a whole thing set up for for Peter Falk, and then all of a
sudden, I read this thing about Mildred Burke just you know, I read
an interview with the women and Mildred Brooke comes up, and I'm like,
okay, let's just see what her story. I had no idea. I
didn't know her, you know, from Black Adam, because because Mildred Brook
trained the women who are the California Birds, the California California dolls, California
dolls in the mat in the movie. And yeah, and so it just
like and I was like, holy shit, between her and Billy Wolf and
just it just was an insane insane I mean, you know, it just
was an insane amount of that could be a journey of itself. Her her
life could be a fucking, you know, six month journey right there.
It's such a fascinating story. Yeah, there's that wonderful book about her.
And obviously she did a tremendous job, because having watched this film front to
back for the first time under the cinemat, I can tell you it is
the best ring you have ever seen in a wrestling movie. I agree,
I'm so tight, so so true to what you know, wrestling actually feels
like to watch matches. Yeah, and these women, these women were in
like there were no stunt doubles, and they worked really hard and they were
into it as much as they could be. You know, I know that
they necessarily weren't necessarily fans, but like when they're in the ring and they're
doing their matches like they are in it, and it's a different field than
any any other pro wrestling movie. We're trying to say, Boss is Mildred
Burke. Mildred Burke, Ladies and gentlemen, under the fucking cinemat, available
for your Patreon dollar. There's absolutely no argument that it's worth even more than
we charged. So and I would say definitely better in ring work than Ready
to Rumble. And so here's what I asked, who are my instructions for
Kevin nash Y a longtime fanny or is both in the ring and on film.
Why weren't top WCW stars like you, Hogan, Hall, Brett Hart,
etcetera. In Ready to Run, I feel the movie would have benefited
greatly from your presence. Not a lie, not a lie, not a
lie. But it's it's kind of fun. And then I said, also,
what is your favorite classic film? Oh? That's just bathing and he
sent a fifteen minute cameo. It was that second question that really swing the
deal. Yeap, and it is it is, this is a riot,
this is one of the this may be, I mean it probably is.
They would do you think the king of the cameos that we've done, Yes,
so fortunate I speak. Here we go. Are you damn right?
Are you ready? Are you all ready to hear this? I don't think
anyone is, but here we go. Kevin Nash, Hey, JP,
Kevin, Kevin. We're on a first name basis at this point, by
the way, he JP, Kevin, Kevin run. Actually, don't that
was time you did? That? Turned out that you're gonna fucking tear three
quads. H Let is bad. Lighting's bad a ship let situation, wedding
situation. So why don't you change the lighting set up? Now? Like?
Well, no, that's fine. You know some may say I'm at
a wedding. Uh. He said, I'm in a shitty wedding situation.
But he alsoid the lighting was bad. He's sitting on his couch, on
a couch of sorts, Like, why don't you fucking change the lighting?
He could have done. He didn't sound like he's capable of moving right now.
It's not. So it's actually a pretty interesting question because a lot of
people have asked it. I don't think it's if it's an interesting bequse.
Sorry I keep interrupting it, but I'm as if it's an interesting question.
But a lot of people have asked it. How well, yeah, it
doesn't mean rare, you know, it's just something that he has something to
say about. So let's right, it's ever been addressed. So what happened
was when they came to us with the movie, they offered everybody a favorite
Nations, the top guys like Dallas Goldberg and the guys that ended up being
in the film. They offered one hundred and fifty thousand dollars to do the
film. And at the same time, with that many people being involved in
the film, all we were going to be doing was just the television tapings,
there'd be no house shows because they didn't have the talent able to do
house shows. So it was like you could either work twice a week and
then five days on the movie set and get an extra one hundred and fifty
grand, or you could just not be in the movie. And at that
point I was making like two million bucks, and it was like I would
rather just you know, do Nitro and Thunder and not be involved in the
movie because it just and I read the script, I just didn't think it
was It just didn't seem like something that was going to then you gave notes,
yes, I do, yes, I put it this way. I
didn't think that I'd be putting a TuS on any time for any of the
awards ceremonies, so I wasn't really involved in it. It was one of
those things where it's it's like one of the basics of my career has been
I really try to push myself away from anything film wise that puts me in
the light of being a pro wrestler, because you're already pigeonholed so hard into
that situation. The last thing you want to do is to show a real
and you're doing what you've I mean, you know, a person can watch
every Monday on Nitro and watch you do. So there was no there wasn't
going to be anything that showed range wasn't gonna be anything that showed that I
could do anything more than what they had seen on television. And you know,
a movie sets are like, I mean, twelve hour day. I
don't care what anybody says that those days are long days. And every time
I've been on a movie, I've always felt blessed because you get treated at
least like a human. Most wrestling promotions you don't. It's just it's such
a different situation. You just kind of meet in the wrestling situation where you're
treated as an actor. But I was so afraid because it was so closely
tied into what we were doing at w CW, that it was just going
to be basically a seven day And it was also shot in La. I
had a young child. My son was geez, I don't even think it
was two when we shot that. So it gave me. It gave me
a chance to be home for five days with my wife and son, which
was just at that point monumental. And that was the whole reason that I
left the w w F in the first place because I wanted to be with
my son and my wife, and I wanted to be their journal's developmental developmental
years with my son. And so that's the reason that though it would have
maybe helped the movie, but the script, like when I read the script,
the script wasn't that good. There you go, there you go.
Yeah, I appreciate that morning kind of It wasn't like Ironclaw or the Wrestler.
It didn't have that grit. It had more of that campy you know,
bullshit you know, kind of a feel to it. Yep. And
that was just something that just I just didn't I didn't see it. Uh
yeah, I didn't need one hundred that to basically cough up five days.
And that thing shot for a while too. So say three months you're making
one fifty, you're putting in twenty days a month. Given number, that's
given the whole fucking thing, pal give it. It's like scale. Yeah,
So I just uh about to be home with my wife and my son
and I just built this big house in Phoenixpan. It was just it was
absolutely the I mean I never looked back at that decision and say to myself.
Wow, like I missed out on that unless I wanted to be on
maybe Magnum Was it Magnum? Or was it was Hawaii? I have Hawaifi,
I have o Chane with with con Son. So but that's that favorite
classic film grab grab. I don't know how classic you want to go.
You want to go, keV, I have so many, you know,
I love film, I know Platoon, sure, Uh, I mean I
think you know, if you want to talk about classic film, I do.
I think Scarface is a classic, that's fair. I think Roadhouse some
way as a classic. What I had? Did you go ahead? Calv
There's just so many great films a huge science fiction fans, so two thousand
and one, Yeah, there's just and you have to throw you know what
Father one and to of course of course good Fellows sure yes, Raging Bull
yeah, Departed Yeah. And then the sorcing films from you know, uh
in Interstellar not a sorting film to tenants, not a sorting film to film
separately behalf of them voice because even with a high I Q, there so
brilliant with Christopher Nolan films, not story comes into the room and you miss
a piece of it. So I just you know, to me, it's
just like the film is just there's so many classic films. I mean,
I was watching the other night. I have a classic film channel, Yes
you do, Queen African Queen. And you know I've watched Multi's Falcon much
Hall. You know, I'm kind of a bow Guard fan. And it's
one of those things where it's just like such a different era. Yeah,
I'll give you one on top of that, I go for it. Creature
of the Blacklegod Wow, you know, just such a which was shot down
here where I live. Creature Walks among Us was shot sixty miles north of
me at Marine Land. But and I love that. I absolutely love the
famous monster films, Frankenstein, Dracula, wolf Man. I was never much
I never really dug deeply into the CGI like I loved. I thought Iron
Man one was was amazing. They lost me on Hulk Won. When Hulk
changed from you know, being seven pounds in one scene to being I don't
know, one hundred and thirty feet tall fighting the the dogs. Just he
was so so it just I'm an old school I'm sixty four years old,
so I grew up with Herbie and Lee and you know I grew up in
that that Marvel era didn't really read d C comics, UH, but it
was I was a cash occasionally I would read I would read Batman, UH,
and I was a Batman fan. But as far as just the graphic
UH comic books with graphic novels, wherever you want to call him, I
was. I was so and I always liked the guys that I remember.
One of my favorite, UH I think was keep in mind, he's gone
from classic movies into now he's talking comic books. You know, it's it's
wonderful, it's it's it's no, it totally is. I'm not I'm not
denying that. It's just we're talking. Like all of a sudden, he
has changed, he has changed his topic completely. Can you imagine me on
the road with these guys, Oh, I mean just like it, just
like everyone talks for two and a half hours at a time. Yeah,
exactly, exactly, and he's still going. It was two comics. But
when Spider Man fought Electro, an Electro just beat the shit out of in
this theater, and like the last scene before you went into the next month's
UH comic was Spider Man in the Rumbles of this theater with his tattered U
costume on. I always liked the people that had I didn't like the Hulk.
I didn't like Samritor. I didn't like anybody that wasn't vulnerable. That's
why I think Superman was never vulnerable. You don't like anyone who's vulnerable,
mister going over everybody. It's not always a motherfucker's not always about you.
That's true. Good point. So if you if you couldn't be damaged,
you know, I remember when Captain America died, I remember when Bucky died.
I remember those comic books where there was a well, they felt that
you know, like you you, you felt that there was a mortality that
went with those And I think that's one of the reasons I really resonated to
The Crow and his graphic novels went on like I'd like The Punisher. Anything
Frank Miller did, I was. I was a huge fan of this sin
City was I. I thought that was a very well done The first one
was very well done. UH. Theatrical release of UH of a comic book,
situation, graphic novel situation, Let's see what else? Trying to give
you your money? It's worth damn right. Yeah, it's just uh,
I just got them watching Bargo. I've got one more episode left. I
think Ham's did a great job and being the heel not even not even the
movies. That's a really good I've watched all the I've watched all the different
series. I love the Coen Brothers work. Like I said, Sorking is
one of those guys the news room and I like, I like Ship that's
smart, like Ship that makes me think. So Succession was smart. Billiams
was smart, but had a little once I actually got kind of out of
the picture. It got a little bit too much, but that's usually what
happens. After three seasons, I sat during the pandemic and watched Suits like
it never never saw the show, and I watched the first episode just to
try something to find and it was just like fucking eight seasons and each season
had like sixteen episodes. I was just like, oh my god. I
thought I wasn't going to have to get a sure get to take me to
the top of Everest. It was just like, but man, and it
was like a you know, forty eight minute you know episode, And you
said that at forty eight minutes exactly of this show. I would grind three
flips about of the day. It was just like I was going to get
through this shit. So I thought that was kind of brilliant too. And
it's funny how Golden Globes kind of really kind of capsulized. That is something
like a lot of people did. So, so JP, thank you so
much for your question. Thank you so much for if you're still listening to
this rant, maybe you should put down the ambient because I'm surprised if I
kept you awake this long. I don't think any sleep aid's gonna go to
help things out. So I wish you the best, hope I twenty twenty
four is a miraculous year. Politics aside, oh not. I hope you
get what you want. Man, I think we all will. I don't
really think that no matter who's in charge, I just don't think that it's
going to change because we've got a bunch of really old white people run in
this country and and I'm slowly becoming one of those. I used to be
this you know, progressive rebellion, and it's just like all of a sudden,
it's just like, eh, you know, it is what it is.
I just want to make sure that I'm not one of them to gets
shared for fucking my wolf Pisa. Thank you so much, my friend or
sheep. I just want to make sure I'm not one that gets shared for
my wool. The Kevin Nash story, that was fucking what a tour of
the man's mind. Oh my god, what a tour of our modern condition
of cinema, of camp cinema. I can't, I mean, I am
that. It was just absolutely amazing, just unfolding, right, it just
it was just layer upon layer upon layer, and it's it's brilliant. So
thanks thanks to Big Sexy for that. Indeed, as much as they get
would give him a hard time, I fucking I I his his cameos are
always worth the fucking money. And that's the virtuous circle, right, I
mean, why can we afford to do that, to take a flyer on
that, because the solar system is so generous in telling us keep doing what
you're doing, and here's the money to prove that. I mean that,
And I'm not just you know, trying to trying to get some clout.
It's it's it's a phenomenal thing. I mean, in so many ways,
the fact that we can offer Terry Funk's authentic branding Iron April seventh. God
flows downstream from the fact that you folks your money where your mouth is,
out of course, of course, and that we've got such a mighty solar
system that of you know, if we podcast for just one hundred people in
our Patreon universe, we would probably still be one of the top earning wrestling
podcasts because we just we bring only the real ones to the forefront. Yes,
you know, I mean only the real ones can stick it out long
enough to understand. I don't go don't phonies? All right, I guess
they're welcome at the table, but don't don't be surprised when you don't get
catered to. They're working with the door at the table. They're walking with
the door. When he did the the Sorkin instead of Christopher Nolan, it
reminded me of when from T n H when Bishoff was talking about how Doc
Holliday was holding the dead Man's hand and it wasn't Doc Holiday at all.
It was wild Bill Hitcock. Right, But it's like, you know,
what do you what are you? Why on earth? That's another dog holiday
right there, right, That's that's a holiday and why over your fuck ith?
Yeah, that's a attitude era Part two w CW and the Lapsed Funk
where Kevin Nash on the first night tro of two thousand picks up a mic
and just dresses down Terry Funk like amazing all and says where you've done Cowboy
right where you're wide earth those one line put downs, you know, uh
like he said, you know, he got to meet Terry Funk during that
run, and all he wanted to talk to him about was roadhouse the whole
time, right, like your roadhouse, like, let's not talk about what
we're here to do and keeping w CW with shit to the business A fucking
love roadhouse. Roadhouse one of the classics of the eighties. You know,
shit, I mean the match. You know, we don't need to talk
about the match jack Knife one two three, it's very studd Well, I
want to talk to you about his roadhouse. What was so talk about?
You know, I want to hear about it. You know, actually,
you know I don't even want to hear about Swayze as much as oh,
I can't think of his name right, Oh fucking hey, I can't think
of his name. What the fuck is his name. Ah, I've ruined
it. I've ruined it. You know, you gotta come correct, man,
you gotta be ready before you open your mouth. I wasn't expecting that
Roadhouse eighty nine cast Roadhouse. Yeah, I want to know about Ben Gazera.
You know ship you know, worked with Cassavettis. Oh, you know,
Kevin. Al Jazeera is a wonderful news outlet. It gets a bad
rap because of its association. No no, no, I didn't say Al
Jazero to no, no, no, al Jazeera, Ben Gazara, I
can see it. Get the two well, you know, you know,
I went I went ahead and talked to Ben and I we had a couple
of nice situations where we sat down, we you know, we had a
couple of meals together, and then uh, you know, I started singing
my song and oh's got a pussy that I started talking about Lucy's pussy,
and you know, he just wasn't a big fan of that. Thought it
was a little crass, right, And so I went ahead and said,
well, fuck you, Ben Gazera, you Al Jazeera. Fuck exactly.
I think Al Jazeera is going to be ripping tickets at Puntline Philly for us,
that's yeah, I've heard about Oh, it's it's all there. And
so again it's just a beautiful thing. We're so glad to just kick our
feet up on these feedback shows and just have fun, you know, like
anything is welcome at the table. Do that anyway, Smork, there was
a reaction when you first opened that. Okay, So I first opened that
fucking thing, and I was like, fifteen minutes What the fuck did he
talked fifteen minutes for? And and because you know, we've sort of gotten
some some lengthy ones, but never double digits, never double digits, and
and so I started listening to it, and then when I realized that six
minutes in he he stopped talking about the thing. Like when on the second
question, I said, I can't even listen to this whole thing right now,
Like I can't. Like they also, to be completely honest, when
I first get cameos, they make me very uncomfortable. Really, they make
me very uncomfortable, Like having these people talk to me almost like in private,
I feel I get very self conscious for some reason. Okay, I
don't know, I don't know why it is, but like I'm always like,
no, it's a pre recorded video. Right, it's all right,
it's a pre recorded video, it's all done in but it's like there's something
very for me. There's something really intimate about it, and it makes me
very un name. Yeah. Right, And they're also like like directly answering
my question. It's not like an email like they're talking about it and I
get it. Takes me the third time to really like listen to what they're
saying instead of listen to what they're saying and kind of let it go.
And and usually by the third time is like us playing it whenever, wherever
we're playing it sure, because I I, yeah, there's it's so weird,
and I really don't know why I get so self conscious about it,
but I get so uncomfortable. And so I listened to six minutes and then
I was like I can't listen anymore. And I sent it to you and
I said, fifteen fucking minutes with this guy and then and then and then
you said you got to listen to the end, and I was like,
okay, all right, all right, and I went and I picked it
up and I listened to the end. I was like, oh, the
fucking shit, he just the full fucking Gamut Aaron as he says, politics
aside. I was like, oh my, we can never play this.
But fortunately politics aside, you know, shit, I think everyone's gonna have
a miraculous year. No, Kevin Nash has a miraculous I hope he does
listen to that of the guy's been through. The guy's been through a lot
of ships. You know, this son and everything, and and and as
much as you know there is a I I get I he reminds me of
so many Like he reminds me of just that fucking know it all uncle,
that's right? Who? That's right? Who? Who? Is such a
you know it's great at holidays, but you know anything else than that,
And it's like, oh, man, come on, like I can't,
I can't deal with this. But you still love him. That's what That's
Kevin Nash. Wonderful stuff. So that's what happens, folks. That's what
happens when we all put our heads together and say, all right, you
know one of the fans want, what do we want? And we know
they're both pretty consentatives. My mom wants right Wressell Mamia for the Mote members,
the biggest swinging dicks in the Solar System can't wait to catch up on
that. We've gotten so many people since the last time we did a mailbag
segment where we shout out people that have pledged anew at patreon dot com,
slash the lapsed fan that have joined the Mother of All Tears, which isn't
for everybody. It's certainly isn't for the weak stomachs out there or the short
wallets. And we understand the appreciate that. But let me tell you,
if you're going to put down that premium coin, not only you're going to
get wrestle Mamia sit back in the living room carpet with the boss Man's mom
and watch matches from the past, but you're also going to get no shortage
of catering too. Maybe we'll get something together from motors in Philly. Oh
for sure. I think that's a great idea. They'll meet up or something.
But they just watched. By the time this drops, they will have
watched. Listen to me and my mom watching Hulk Hogan versus Ten ru Yes
from WWE SWS Super Wrestle. I know that's what she's always wanted to see.
She's always wanted to see it, and lapsed funk style, right,
there's plenty of that. Yeah, yep, Oh god, there's stuff coming
up, that's all I'm going to say. Amazing, there is stuff coming
up that is ah, just glorious. It's always we're bursting at the seams.
So there's so much more happening under the surface and behind the scenes.
I'm excited to talk to you about in the weeks to come as well.
It's just it's really a great time to be a lapsed fan. TLFX is
rocking and rolling like never before. As you know, you've been hearing weekly
here on the feed members of the Solar System with their recollections and they're sort
of, you know, testimonials about why being a lapsed fan has been so
additive to their lives and to their outlooks, into their just general sense.
I mean, you know, as wrestling fans, it's as we've been talking
about already, it's damn near impossible to really look at yourself in the mirror,
you know, and not see somebody that gets talked behind his or her
back all the time for liking that stuff. And it's a mark against you
and in polite society to like wrestling. Let's just face facts. I mean,
Larry David spoke to it. You already heard it. Yep, Larry
David is everybody you know, you understand me, everybody you know you watch
wrestling. What is that exactly? And so you know, we grow up
as fans looking for a community that was that's almost impossible to find even online,
you know, because it's so tribal. Yeah, but the Solar System
is it. TLF is what you've been looking for. As a self respecting
lifelong wrestling fan who's acknowledged that he can't kick the habit, so he's got
to now manage it responsibly and just take in the doses he can handle.
And we're it. We are the community of fans that you've been looking for
your whole life. And I think that'll be made manifest one more time coming
out of April seventh, and for wrestling fans have been tricked again. So
with TLFX upon us our ten year celebration here, it's also highly appropriate that
we now announce another leg of our TFX celebration. Stuff happening in all corners
of TLF these days and some enterprising members of the Solar System. You've heard
so much about the lapsed power planted our super fans that have got together to
try to really generate content resources for people that might want to become acquainted with
what we've done over ten years and have sort of a shortcut to understand why
we're still here and why we're so strong. And the next leg of that
is just something I'm totally thrilled about, something I've always kind of thought somewhere
in the back of my mind should exist, But as the years have turned,
it became an absolute necessity. Sure, presenting Boss the TLF Hall of
Fame, Oh fucking bang Pang saying tangkank Kan cancin can can Cain Franken Caine,
can can King frankn Caine, Krank came on, get into it,
Londan Kangnapang can can came Hall of Fame, can can tank Kang canknk can
kanker Youang ball in un rong Pang speaking in tongues. It can become spiritual
at a certain point, does it not? Is it not? I can't
wait. Oh, by the way, I haven't told you this yet,
but I think among the things we're bringing to Philly is the lap to jukebox
okay, because I know from having known you all these years and having watched
you in person with my own two eyes. Uh you know conduct score Yes,
of course, to go into absolute hysterics physically so that you can not
only sing the music, but be the music, feel the music, be
the music. We're not the only podcast and proud of it. But what
that has meant is that over the years, when Possman breaks out in a
song like that, particularly when he's doing I don't know, Stephen Reetle studies
thing um bum boom boom, say what now line Philly seven bu bring it
home? Bum bum b up wrong bum What I want you to know.
I want you to know. I want you to know that we just ended
up in a place with that any forewarning. No boss Man was reduced to
doing this into the microphone on a podcast. Oh ship, so oh god.
I figured, you know, if folks are going to invest the time
and energy to be with us in Philly, they might get what I've always
seen and what I always see in my mind's eye when you break out in
a song and the lapse jukebox. I think you can have. I think
you were to be taking some requests. I'm sure I'm fine with that.
We'll put a fucking We'll put a jar out there and I'll be like fucking
Billy Joel and the piano man, just fucking h oh shit, man.
You know we're talking about Philly is as a fine rapper from Philly once said
ens had to get aggressive because being humble wasn't working, And uh, that's
what we're at ten years on. But the Hall of Fame is a great
example of this, and I want to pass along, uh, just some
notes about what the Hall of Fame is, what the TLF Hall of Fame
is, what it's going to be, and what you can look forward to.
Over the last ten years, the Lapsed Fan is gifted thousands of hours
of joy to a solar system of grateful listeners. This college level podcast has
brought tears to its listener's eyes through both humor and pain, improving all of
their lives in the process. While there are literally too many great moments to
count across the history of TLF, it's only right to the co chairs be
given a gift and equal response to the gifts they constantly bestow upon their listeners.
A branded auditory entertainment vehicle as successful as TLF deserves to be celebrated and
for its content to be properly honored. TLF has provided moments so funny that
listeners had to pause the show due to laughter, moments that caused meaningful introspection,
moments that caused legitimate sadness in despair, moments that provided insight into how
society operates, moments that flat out left the audience speechless. And yes,
moments that remind us it is really all about food. Yes. To properly
pay tribute to an occasion as momentous as TLFX, a group of especially avid
listeners have banded together to create a list of one hundred of these moments which
are cultural, historic, and esthetic importance to the history of the rest fan.
I agree. While this list can be conceptualized as a top one hundred
or is the TLF greatest hits, it should really be thought of as the
first class among future entries into the Lapsed Fan Hall of Fame. Content across
all ten years from all of tlf's brands under the Cinemat Live Calls, etc.
Included were eligible for selection. The inaugural class of the TLF Hall of
Fame should be the standard bearer for future classes, which will ideally be selected
by the broader Solar system. So this is going to be a panel of
especially tenured and exceptionally well attuned listeners who have proven over the years that they
they understand and know our catalog more deeply than we ever could. And we
fucking made the show. Yes, they think about it in sort of like
a like almost a literary criticism kind of perspective for sure. Yep. And
the Hall of Fame panel has been assembled. The Hall of Fame Panel is
voted and coming to the main feed over the course of twenty twenty four as
part of our TLFX celebrations. We're proud to resurface and officially enshrine the one
hundred initial entrance from our history of podcasts into the Lapse Hall of Fame.
So there will be no excuses by the end of twenty twenty four in terms
of where to point folks to acclimate them to what tlf is all about as
we borrow ten more years. I can't wait to resurface some of these things
because it's just amazing the things that we that don't even know. When you
make the show, you've talked about this, when you make the show.
You can't afford Terry Funk style to sit there and look in the rear view
mirror all the time. You just can't. It's impossible because if you don't
keep the hamster wheel turning, eventually it'll come to an end. And it's
always such a joy to see the solar system take the time that we'll never
have to really go through the fine tooth comb to really have the wherewithal and
to really have the understanding of what the catalog contains, to be able to
narrow down what truly is quintessential TLF and can't wait to resurface and share those
moments. With a new coat of paint. You'll have Hall of Fame Boss.
I'm excited. I'm very very excited. It's a beautiful Yeah, this
thing comes about so uh that and so much more happening this year for us.
We need to thank all of our supporters as mentioned on Patreon, and
we also need to point folks, particularly with April seventh coming up to our
store in Pro Wrestling Teas dot Com. Recently, we've added two new shirts
that are perfect to bring with you to Philly. I've ordered Maes the Boss
designed t L f X commemorative shirt. That's right. And we also have
the Lapsed Fan Phillies collection. Pretty yes, that's exactly what the p in
lapsed is in the uh the logo of the of the of the Phillies.
So yes, get get that ship on your body. Yes, it'll be
highly appropriate gear to be rocking on the way. And of course stuff inspired
by the Lapsed Funk, stuff inspired by all our journeys and our whole catalog.
Just Pro Wrestling Teas dot Com slash lapsed Fan is also as the l
FX as it gets. Yes, you're damn right, so damn right.
Lots of good stuff up there, and I think some some very uh uh
uh. I plan on getting a Rustle Pania shirt for sure, uh for
WrestleMania. So it isn't going to be on my bodys in there. The
main's in there. So lots of good stuff, lots of good stuff.
Swag on the ground, baby, I might have to get a brother shirt.
Oh that's a great one. Get yourself a you a fan call out
on the ground in Philly. There's no better feeling. Take it from that
is the best. And I want to see a Sergeant Adam funct shirt out
there. Yeah, I know some have bought it, but I don't think
many have the nuts. We'll see, maybe maybe I should buy and wear
it. Remember our oh my god last year, Oh my god, what
a riot. So we're going we're going into the stadium with our pal,
you remember who hooked us up with the tickets, and he's wearing the aret
to get excited when it's all fake show. Oh yes, Oh my god,
I'm like, how do you wear that to wrestle Mania? Ah?
I was just so impressed that he had the nuts to wear that. I
just I couldn't believe it. And uh sood so good a boy, Max,
And uh yeah, so stand up for the for the solar system,
fly the colors, proud, wear the shirt that makes people wonder, and
wear this shirt that puts the spring in your step. Coming up for WrestleMania
weekend in Philly over Proresuees dot com, slash the Lapsed Fan, and we
do also want to shout out our friends over at Tight Nutrition. If you
need to get you know, if you need to get a little extra boost
in your step when you hit Philadelphia, you might want to do it with
the the energy and workout enhancing products of our friends at tight nutrition who are
sticking with us here. As you know from previous episodes, we're big supporters
of tight nutrition products. You've heard us talked about their superfood formulas like pure
greens and pure reds packed with neutrients to support your immune system and promote optimate
gut health. In an addition to these products, an important stable to anyone's
health, of course, is and wellness is a good multivitamin. So tight
nutritions can't believe they're called tight nutrition. This is just like a match made
it gets tight nutritions. Essential trace mineral and vitamin complex are meticulously designed to
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Essentials provide the ideal blend of vitamins and minerals to help sustain all the
functions of the body, from your brain and central nervous system to your eyes,
skin, bones, and heart health to name a few. You can
find essentials at tight nutrition dot net and when you go there use the promo
code lapsed lap SD at checkout. You're going to receive ten percent off your
purchase for doing that, as well as free shipping. Again, that's tight
Nutrition dot Net with the discount code lapsed to get healthy here on tlf X
year and do it with a brand that's proud to support that fucking cast that
we're proud to have in our corner in tightened Nutrition coming up as we pivot
off of the Lapsed Funk and just you know, bask in the glow a
bit with some feedback as well as feedback unrelated to Terry Funk. We're pointing
our compass at another momentous anniversary at twenty twenty four occasions. Boss, We're
taking a look at the January twenty third, nineteen eighty four WWF Madison Square
Garden event where Hulk Coogan wins his first WWF championship. It is the the
the birth of Hullcomania. No matter what you say, no matter what happened
beforehand, that is the birth of hull Comania. I said, Boss,
you know, what do we do that has impact coming off a journey.
We always like to be mindful of that, and you were very quick with
the suggestion. Yep, yep, it was to me, it was the
only one. It was the only one. It made perfect sense and the
reason we're sign posting it now is because we want your feedback, we want
your recollections. This is you know, we were one. I was one,
okay when this happened. I wasn't even one yet, So it's hard
for us to access what it was like to see that handing of the torque
from Iron Cheek to Hulkogan, really from Bob Backland to Hulkogan and just all
of the revolutions in pro wrestling that that portended. But with your help in
the Lapsed Fan solar system, we can put it into the appropriate context when
we attack and put on the shelf, so to speak, this all important
event at Madison Square Garden. So hit us up the Lapsed Fan at gmail
dot com early and often with your thoughts recollections on the significance of Hogan's first
title win as we look back forty years after it took place, which is
just unbelievably scary to think about in so many ways that it was forty years
ago that title is happening. It's so bizarre, and yeah, make sure
that we don't just lay the fact pattern down, as you can trust us
to do definitively, but also get at that emotional truth too that the title
win speaks to that we won't be able to access just by mere research.
But we need you, we need your support. Already some wonderful insights from
our friends in the Twin Cities who are sort of being very observant about Hulk
Hogan transitioning from the AWA's top baby face to Vince Mooween, which is a
subject of endless fascination for us over the years. I mean, we can
never boss take enough at bites at the apple of Hulk leaving Vern in the
dust. Oh, absolutely, no, not at all. I mean,
it's it's it's so because you know what there there's so much there, and
there's probably so much that has not even been unfolded, you know, and
uncovered yet. It's all out there. But we're gonna pull it all together.
You never know. I think I'm sure that there are stories that have
never made that in every single line of day somehow, you know. I'm
not no if we'll ever get to those or not, but there there are
some in there that I'm just like, it's there's more to this than meets
the eye. Too many machinations right for for everything to have surfaced. But
we're going to do our damnedest and we're looking forward to it. It's kind
of when you really think back at it, it sort of is the inspiration
for one of our earliest journeys, The Life and Death of the Away,
This intense fascination that we had with with Hogan's awa years. Absolutely absolutely no
question about that in terms with the fact that you know, he was talking
about whole Comania for years before getting on Vince Junior's TV. Yeah, and
all that means, so really looking forward to it. Make sure that we
can knock that one out of the park with your contributions as well. That's
why we're letting you know early. We're also going to let you know that
at long last, we will deliver in our promise to award a free hopper
pick. I remember in the past we've been saying, you know, if
you bid on the hopper, we understand it gets really rich for a lot
of people's blood. But there are some people that just breaks my heart.
They try, they try, and they always end up in a category they
can't afford. And I respect the discipline and not you know, necessarily go
overboard. So the people who have bid, we put their names in a
hat kind of like how we're going to award the Terry Funk Branding Iron coming
up April seventh in Philly, and we pulled the name at random, you
know, every time they bid we put in their name in once and our
buddy pav Is won and he's going to bring to us the two thousand and
eight WWE Royal Rumble that is his sport. It's John Cena comes in number
thirty MSG as well, So it's gonna be an MSGI Yeah cook ms G
detour here on the TLF main feedt in the weeks to come, and so
if you have any particular thoughts recollections about the significance of that event, please
do hit us up as well the lapsed fan at gmail dot com and we're
pleased to deliver on that promise what we told him over the holidays. So
it still was a holiday gift as we initially conceived of it, yes,
but Funkage and many other moving pieces sought to it that it took months for
us to get to it, but we do get to it every single time.
That's that's the whole point. So yep, looking forward to connecting on
that as well as much more to come in the weeks ahead. But if
We're going to go ahead, boss, we got it. We got to
tap into that mailbox. I think the time is now and it's let's go
ahead and tap into that mailbox. See what's going on? Talk about tapping
in? Uh what? And let's hit our boy Christian wonderful supporter of the
solar system over the years. And this is a letter that he sent really
upon the embarking of the lapsed Funk that I think so well telegraphed and encapsulated
where we were heading and where we ended up. So if you could share
that with the people, absolutely, twenty twenty three has been a rough year
for the sport of Kings. We've lost We've lost some true giants and mantar
who helped shape our Childhohoods. In the case of Bray, Wyatt was on
the cusp of reinventing what it meant to be a refreshingly unique character in a
business where fans clamor for a guy who's nothing more than an amalgamation of arguably
the two biggest stars in the last thirty years. I'm talking about you,
La Night. However, if the passing of why It and Terry Funk can
offer us fans anything is that the end of the day. At the end
of the day, being one of a kind is the greatest trade any wrestler
could aspire to have. Nobody will ever come close to having the resume of
Terry Funk his career, which stretched so many generations and eras think about it,
funk debut during the boom period of the Territory days was a top draw
in every area he went to, whether it be Florida, Saint Louis from
Memphis, Russell, the Who's Who of stars from Jack Briscoe, the Chic
Race, Lawler Flair, Hogan, Sting, Bammers, Foley Brett, Michaels,
Austin Tyson, brother Tyson. But he was right all the way to
the end there. I think he's yeah, I think he said, Michael's
Austin Tyson. Yeah, I know, I know I did that. Do
you see what he did? Though? You know you understand these because we
do Austin Tyson, Austin, Yeah, you get it. Matt for sure.
By the way he did Michael's Austin Tyson. Because that's our joke that
we do. It's gonna bother me forever. At the very end of the
Lapsed Funk when I was going through all the people he inspired, and I
was like, Okay, I'm gonna hit everybody. I forgot Harley Race.
What the fuck like, don't forget Harley? You know, he learned the
business in Amarillo. He was trained, you know, in and around Nebraska,
in Kansas City's from that part of the country, owned that territory and
defined Kansas City wrestling in so many ways. But the Funks taught this guy
the business. He was booking when you know, Dorry Senor and Iron Mike
DEBIASI were feuding. He you know, we read from his book. But
when we did the NWA World title portion of the Lapsed Funk, I mean
yeah, and it was the fact that the Funk chose Harley to drop the
world title to Terry that is, and yea, Dorry did as well,
but that was just because Dorry and Jack couldn't get together to consummate the title
change for reasons we explored in depth. But still, I mean, Harley
Race ends up in the money and off to an incredible start in his wrestling
career because the Funks, in particular Terry Funk, bestowed it upon him.
You know, he deserved it, but he hadn't earned it yet. And
it was Terry Funk saying, you're the guy that I trust with the world
title because I'm done with it for now. That made Harley Race Harley Race.
I mean, can you get more impactful like you think? You think
Harley Race is a contemporary of Terry Funk's and he was. But Terry was
was was his sensey. He was everybody. I mean, there's nobody that
predates the guy. It seems like. Besides, like a Kiniski says,
if you want to go back, the black and white era, just remarkable.
He was coloring and of wrestling. He was the y you know what
I mean. He was the technicolor Yep, Yes he was. He had
the three different film Valley. Terry's greatest rivalry will be with that fat egg
sucking yellow dog, Dusty Rhodes. I never saw Funk in his prime,
but was introduced to him through the vhs I Like to Hurt people that my
dad owned, currently available in the Cement Archive. Yes, indeed it is.
When I discovered his classic nineteen eighty one empty arena match against Jerry Lawler
in Memphis decades later on YouTube. It was like unearthing a buried treasure I
had long heard about but had never seen speaking of. I like to hurt
people. You know what, I got my hot little hands on. What
do you have? Brian? Uh? What was his name? Brian Greenberg?
Uh? Huh? I remember he was one of the creators of the
film. Yes, he recently put out a DVD of of a b Roll.
Oh he did, because I remember they were there was talk about this,
how we made I Like to Hurt People. Holy shit. Uh.
It's a rare look behind the curtain of hardcore wrestling in the seventies, featuring
the chik Andre Terry Funk Dori Funk listed right here on the jacket ringside is
the incredible true story, from start to finish, how we were able to
make the hardcore wrestling cult classic. I like to hurt people, I think
when I deliver some of the things we picked up in the funk of State
sale on Beta Max, so to speak. Boss, Yeah, I throw
this one in the fucking poulous will I I I I because you know what
there? I want to Uh. I've been wanting to have h a a
reason to kind of go back and revisit since since the since the Chic book
came out as it came out right after we did. We did the That
was the fiftieth episode of Under the Cinemat And there's so much great information in
that book. Yeah, by Brian Solomon on this movie in particular, right,
and so I wanted I've been wanting the reason to go back to it.
So this will be it. We'll figure it, We'll make this happen.
It'll be like an extended cut or it almost be like bonus scene part
of a DVD cinema right now, right right, exactly exactly. Uh,
watching Terry Go, watching Terry Cus, Jerry Lawl the hell out demand Lance
Russell to clear him the winner by default when Jerry didn't show up on time,
accuse Lawler of carrying a knife and a gun to their match, then
wailing over his eye as he cried for help. As one of the greatest
pieces of work I ever saw or will ever see. If Dusty was Funk's
greatest rival to me, this was his greatest match. For the sheer lunacy
of it all. I hope Terry Funk found a ring in Heaven and wrestled
Big dust all around Heaven's territory. Truly heaven needed a Funker and a Harcore.
God, I don't think I even have that anymore, Q Flair yelling
I'm God in TNL. Well, I got something else for you. Thank
you, Terry for giving us a lifetime worth of showmanship, Thank you for
adding Goozle Metake to our vernacular, and thank you for declaring Jerry Lawler to
be a son of a bitch in an empty arena in Memphis. There truly
will never be another like you. Absolutely, and further to the MPT Arena,
which of course was a key stop in the lapsed Funk journey, something
that people who were contemporaries in the Memphis territory at the time, like Dutch,
Mantel and others as we talked about, didn't remember us a particularly successful
piece of business because, you know, houses went down at the Mid South
Coliseum after the MT, right, there wasn't really a lot to point to
that was a business catalyst. As Dutch pointed out, you know, the
closing scene is really you're supposed to feel sympathy for Terry Funk, which isn't
exactly the recipe for coming back next week to buy a ticket, you know,
because nobody was gonna feel sympathy for that guy, so it kind of
left you. It's almost like Jerry Lawler should have been left with the one
with his eyeball hanging out, right, if they wanted business off this thing,
But it's not. You know, this thing isn't about business. This
is about Funk bringing it to a higher level in terms of living in a
different skin as a performer and you know, with a completely unfamiliar atmosphere with
a dead quiet building, realizing the depth that he could pull from, realizing
the depth that he had. This is acting ability, is what it is.
You know, wrestlers always talk about when they hit a movie set,
it's just so disorienting to not have that feedback loop from the live crowd that
tells you if what you're doing is resonating, To have just silence on the
set with no real visual or audio indicator that you're doing well, it's so
disorienting. Here Terry Funk proves that he not only is capable of that,
but it's the best in wrestling history at that at when you know, you
take somebody out of the element of the typical give and take of a wrestling
match, that they can still produce things that are true to their character and
keep you stuck to the screen and stuck to their every move and every word.
That's what the MPT arena match comes to symbolize, and that's why,
even though it didn't catalyze a big run of business in Memphis, everyone still
talks about it to this day. Chris saw it coming. He wrote to
his chairman, I love all the Terry Funk's phases. The feud with Flair
that started at the end of the Steamboat Flair trilogy, the middle aged and
Crazy ECW run, death matches with Cactus Jack, the matches between the Brisco
Brothers and the Funk Brothers, even that weird Funk family run in his WWF
run with the uncomfortable jyd Food. However, for some reason, the first
Terry Funk match that always pops into my head is the empty Arena match with
Jerry Lawler from Mid South TV are April twenty five, nineteen eighty one and
Terry Funk Shows. He writes more sides to his personality in this match than
most wrestlers Today's show in a year, Funk cussing even more after Lance Russell
asks him not to swear yes, that's great, Funk declaring himself the winner,
viaccount out when Lawler isn't there at first, Funk becoming more angry and
starting to threaten Lance Russell. Funk's paranoia ramping up as he asks if Lawler
brought a gun or a knife? This is all here again, Funk flopping
around an empty rows of seats, and Blake Funk's starting to back off as
he realizes that Lawler is maybe better than he expected and going after improvised weapons,
Funk screeching. Funk goes after Lawler's eye and then screams for a doctor
when Lawler damages Funk's eye at the end. There is nothing in that video
except for maybe the quality of this version that is not great. Lance Russell
lighting a cigarette while waiting to see if Funk and Lawa will show up for
the match is definitely the best part. By the way, Lawler in full
regalia for an MPT arena match. What's the problem? Great question, Chris,
So he saw it coming. We'll hear from Matt Terry Funk memory,
Hi Gents, a bit of a weird one. But there was a promo
that he did in his final WW run when he talked about somebody being a
satchel ass that was mcfoley. I love that. I mean to think about
a satchel, right, yes, and it's shape and how it and an
ass made of satchel approximates the or a satchel made of ass a general shape
of mcfoley's ass. And so he writes, this was a huge thing on
the Brian and Vinnie Show, Brian Alvarez and Vinnie over at figure four weekly.
I assume Jack was on the board back then, all kind of anyway,
he writes, it's what I think about when it comes to the Funker.
So what I'm realizing here is there was a promo that Terry Funk cut
on Mick Foley. We of course saw the n ring one he did before
the One Night Stand in two thousand and six show. Hey Fully, great
to see that one breathe new life into courtesy the laps fan because that's just
a tremendous mitterring face off between those two, just tremendous stuff. And apparently
he also cut a promo on Fully that aired only on WWE dot com,
which they were really hot to do with the mid two thousands when they were
trying to make dot com the place to be for everything, and they would
shoot a lot of exclusive stuff for that platform, And so Terry just does
a typical look into the camera Terry promo, a copy of which does not
seem to have survived anywhere on the Internet in terms of like the whole promos
that existed. You only see like descriptions of what it once was. But
what did happen is on the Brian and Vinnie Show on Figure four Weekly,
they did grab some sound from the promo make a little bit out of it
because it was the first time anyone had ever heard someone described as a satchel
ass, and it was a fucking home run. So what Matt provided and
what we're going to provide here to the Solar System is a clip from that
show that kind of gives you a sense of, how, you know,
an early sense of what we discovered along the way in the lapsed Funk Boss
that you can really make incredible entertainment out of Terry's greatest hits. Sash Lass
Scholas promo. You don't see the promo, No, the promo on e
c W dot com. He's a talking about Mick Foley, all their good
promos now on the website. They don't show him on TV anymore. That
doesn't surprise me. Yeah, but yes, he he Saslas McK foley's son.
He takes a while to think of the right words. He looks right
in the camera and says, and then he tells the story about his dad.
I'm not trusting any man whose ass was whiter than his shoulders. That's
a really good one. Wow, that's funny. Is somebody just emailed that
to me and I just saw Terry Funk in a word and I was like,
does that say satchel ass? I didn't even it does Scholas? It's
the sing song I heard the show pretty great, Wow satchel ass. Last
asked like a satchel guess that's what it means. So he went ahead and
I want aheadn't remember we were going through that and the lot last episode of
Lapsed Funk. That just like postcrip part of his career where he's he's still
wrestling Lawlor and Piper and Abbey and it's like two thousand and five, everybody,
He's like, yeah, right, great stuff for our friend John who
wrote a I saw Terry Funk verse Abduel the Butcher verse. Kevin Sulliman versed
US two Rhodes and a bloodbath of a match at the Davy, Florida Rodeo
in two thousand and two. Holy shit, they went all over the rodeo
grounds. It was nuts. I took home a chair with blood on it.
Thankfully I did not contract hepatitis. I mean, I guess that's gonna
have to be as shirt, isn't it, satchel Ass, I think I
think that's a requirement, alright, p mister Funk. Ben writes an interesting
compendium as we try to restart the engine of the Coliseum collection soon, right.
We did promise to do every Colosseum video ever in order, and a
ton of stuff ended up falling into our lap that required our media attention and
a couple of Terry journeys. I mean, all of a sudden a year
is passed. It could call it a terrible journey, but we had already
kind of taken the measure of Terry Funk's ww F run by virtue of those
early Colisseum takes, which features him against the likes of Junkyard Dog and others.
Yes, he came in an eighty five and Ben put together a helpful
list. Hidge co chairs a complete run of Terry Funk's appearances on Colisseum Video.
Thought this would help you document as ww run June seventeenth, eighty five
debuts on Superstars versus Aldo Marino. We actually took a look at this.
This is when he satisfyingly beats up Mel Phillips. Afterward, those that Matt
and that segment and that angle featured on Villains of the Squared Circle by Colisseum
Video and Grand Slams. July thirteenth, ninet eighty five versus Lenny Poffo That
on Best of the WWF Volume six. We didn't get there yet? Did
we know? We're not there yet? So looking for that not Best of
Volume six now. October thirty, first, eighty five versus junk Yard Dog
Most Embarrassing Moments and Grudge Matches. Can't wait to see which of the two
this match qualifies for me. November seventh, eighty five versus Moondog Spot on
Wrestling Classic. Okay, let's not forget when we did the Wrestling Classic.
This is year one tlf sh the Funker in play in the Man. I
came in a man amazing we did WrestleMania two. I barely remember talking about
Terry Funk and WWFA back in that WrestleMania Journey November January eleventh, nineteen eighty
six, Pedro Morales versus Terry Funk at the Boston Garden Best of WWA Volume
seven. Ben writes hell of a match between two seventies world champs as Terry
somehow extracts motivation out of an aging Pedro. Can't wait to see that one.
January twenty sixth, nineteen eighty six versus Junkyard Dog and the Grudge Matches
tape April seventh, nineteen eighty six with Hossfunk, his brother Dory of course
versus Tito Santana and JYD from WrestleMania two and May first, nineteen eighty six
with has Funk against Hogan and JYD on the Colisseum home video. Saturday Nights
made event's greatest hits. We absolutely took a look at that ma as part
of the Lapsed Funk it being on NBC, and finally, his January fourth,
eighty six Saturday Nate's Main Events title match versus Hogan, Ben notes never
made Colisseum video, but is also easily accessible and you better believe we hit
that match, particularly in Philly, which is very serendipitous, as we're Philly
minded to the max these days. I even think, for sure, the
best I can tell trying to find photo evidence of the branding iron we ended
up coming into possession of. Yes, I see Terry Funk and ECW promos
in like ninety four holding a flaming branding iron that has all of the characteristics
of the one we have. Yep, I mean, it's just all it's
all pointing to Philly. Everything in our lives suddenly is pointing to Philadelphia.
It's remarkable. And finally he writes, shit missed one September twenty thirty eighty
five versus jyd MSG is actually the one that's on the most embarrassing moment,
So he within a dendum there it was a September twenty thirty five, not
January twenty sixty eighty six, Junkyard Dog. So we're looking forward to that
seeing Harry Funk once again. We're never going to be too far away.
That's right. Even more exhaustive list, which is just great to see and
helped us so much as we navigated the lapsed Funk is dismissive. Here from
Ian Boss, if you could please regale the solar system. I think you
just gave me the list, all right, you don't see Jack and JP
there at the top. Hold on because I got a bunch of videos and
stuff too with it. No, all right, wait a minute, hold
on, let me try again. Here, got a ten eighteen timestamp Jack
and JP. Hello, my name is oh there it is yep, I
got it. Jack and JP. Hello, my name is Ian and this
message is embarrassing, embarrassingly long time coming to say I've been a freeloader for
years. Has a shameful confession, but I'm used to that. I'm a
lifelong wrestling fan. I'm a New England They're living in Rhode Island, and
based on your stories from past episodes, I know we've attended some of the
same Ring of Honor shows. Adding to the list of similarities. I'm a
huge fan of w has Bros. And I proudly have a set on display
in my living room. As a kid, my grandfather proudly proudly I don't
know you did lose me there, but shame As a kid, my grandmother
was the manager of a department store and knew the exact day my new Hasbros
would right fucking kidding me, I'd never even thought of that. Can you
imagine getting the jump? Oh my, like you can have your pick like
be here, you know, right after school on this day. Trust me,
that's when you can get the rockers. I'm I'm what has of those
days? Why can't kids have that? Why can't the kids because they need
to worry about skincare and that's awesome, They need to worry about screen versions
of the teeny bopper magazines that we used to have, right exactly screen things.
I can vividly remember getting the iggy, the iggy the iggy. Yeah,
that's a wrestling term for like a physical signal you see to your opponent
the iggy And being at the store on a Saturday morning to pull a Hasbro
Series two Hulk Hogan case fresh right off the show. Jesus christ Man.
I know during those Hasbro years, my Christmas mornings were legendary. And I
mean also, you're in Rhode Island, that's Hasbro Central, that is Hasbro.
It didn't have much to travel much distance travel the store. I've dabbled
in the wrestling business, having competed in about a dozen matches, promoted a
few shows, and even owned my own ring. Even being a lifelong fan,
it didn't take long to realize that it's a cutthroat, backstabbing business.
Trust no one. Thankful, Thankfully, My love for being a fan will
never die, even when my desire to wrestle promote fizzled out. In my
free time wrestling related, I make wrestling history videos on YouTube. My channel
is squared Circle History. I also have a podcast with my friend Brian called
Pro Wrestling Rushmore. We pick a topic, allow fans to submit votes,
tell everything, to tally everything up, and do a countdown en route to
revealing the mount rushmore of the given topic. It's nowhere near the level of
the lapsed fan, but we have fun. Brian absolutely hates Brett Hart,
so I take great pressure pleasure in riling him up. I even bought him
a cameo from Brett for his birthday and played it for him in front of
his entire family and friends at his fortieth birthday party. Ring a Boss.
Yeah right. Brian didn't get as mad as I'd thought, and I think
he secretly loved it. So what made me finally send you guys an email.
It's been on my to do list for years, but once I heard
you were planning to do Terry Funk tribute, I knew that the time was
right. Terry Funk was the greatest wrestler to ever step foot in a wrestling
ring. I've had that opinion for years and it still holds true to this
day. He made you believe, he made you feel something. Whether he
was a dastardly heel or a lovable babyface, Terry was the best. His
promos were over the top and his matches were wildly entertaining. If you've ever
seen any of his shoot interviews, especially the RF video one from nineteen ninety
seven, you know that Funk is an incredible storyteller and has seen it all.
His advice was more valuable than gold, with Brian Pillman once saying that
he'd normally consult Terry for advice and even discussed the loose cannon persona. I've
had a lot of time to think about why Terry meant so much to me
and finally figured it out. He was selfless. Terry went to the ring
to make his opponent look good and benefit from their time together. He should
ask Shane Douglas that question, yea, it depends what you're talking about.
Look at what he did for ECW. There was a whole locker room full
of workers that he made who had the utmost respect for him, as evident
by the Terry Funk banquet the night before Barely Legal. How about the fifty
Years of Funk supercard In the fall of ninety seven, Terry faced Brett Hard,
who was the w champion at the time, and Brett was willing to
put Terry over, but Terry knew his role and agreed that Brett winning was
the better decision. Then again, he walked out of the WWE at Survivors
Series ninety three because he didn't want a job slash unmasked. But in true
Terry fashion, he made up the excuse that his horse, Clyde, was
sick, and even then, could anyone truly get mad at the guy?
It's a pretty great excuse if I've ever heard one, and you got to
give the Funker credit for the creativity. In two thousand and nine, I
attended a wrestling convention in Connecticut that had been organied by Just Incredible. He
had got a great turnout and had an all star list of guests signing Harley
Race, Scott Hall, Marty Jeannetti who disappeared from the table where he was
signing and I never got to meet him. Knew Jack who took over the
house, Miken cut a profanity lace promo, Bob Backman who lost his school
on Nu Jack Gorgeous, George the Giant Silva, Tony DeVito, Spike Dudley,
Stevie Richards, and Rick Fuller and Terry Funk. They're in the lead
there. Yeah right. I was beyond excited at the thought of meeting the
person I respected more than anyone in pro wrestling. My dad and I arrived
at the hotel where the convention was taking place. To get to the convention
hall, we walked past the hotel breakfast bffet, where Terry Funk had a
heaping plate although he was although he was more focused on the newspaper that he
was reading with it. It's just such a great size with his glasses magnifying
his eyes in comedic fashion. You have met the Bye vocals. He want
a head, oh God, and his eyeballs are like four times bigger than
they have any right to be. I want to head him. I'm reading
the paper. What's the headline here? I want a headline. I want
a headline. I want to head Oh what, yeah, what's up,
Sonny? What? Thank you for being you're big fan, your fan of
your fan of the funker with the snap back on his trucker hat on top
of his ponytail. Yes, yes, that's right, a fan of a
funker, you like Terry Funker. What do you want? Is a heaping
plate a picture like you know, you know, it's not, it's not
it's about food. It's a pile. It's a pile, you know,
it's not. It's not like. It's not like he has a lot of
food on his plate. It's piled high like you've got You've got like a
mountain of scrambled eggs with like bacon sticking out and pancakes sticking out and sausage
and steaming. And he's reading the newspaper. Is there something you need from
Terry Funk? Exactly? It's a good question. What the let's go?
Hello? Why are you? Can people stop up? I'm trying to eat
and read the news. I'm trying to get ahead on on what's going on
in the politics world, trying to get ahead on current events, trying to
go ahead and go home. What, Oh my god, what we got
here? We got people drinking coffee? We got what? What? What
happened? Hello, Doug, No, Terry's just house brew Now the Dunking
Donuts centers down the blocks. Oh, I kept it together as I walked.
He'll die when Dori shows up with a dozen Dunkin Donuts. Go ahead,
Sorry, hey, Terry Funk, I'm here. I got the Uh,
I got the Terry Terry Funk, I got the donuts. Oh you're
Dunkin Donuts. Huh, I got Dunkin don't Yeah, that's what Terry,
Terry, that's what I brought. I brought, dunk I brought. I
brought Dunkin Donuts. No, but you're a dunk and you got donuts.
No, no, but no but in other words like no, no no,
like don't change the subject. No no no, no no oh,
pointing out on a Patreon funk finale the same week as Dory's eighty third birthday.
Oh my god, thank you. Yes, indeed, I'm I can't
believe I'm eighty three. I don't you know. I woke up this morning
thinking I was two hundred and three, but I guess I'm mistaken. Somebody
told me otherwise, and I said, Okay. Ever since that, I've
you know, changed my mind. I decided I changed my mind about what
age I am and what I should be doing at this age. I guess
I'm I guess I should be sleeping most of the day, not magnifying my
eyes in comedic fashion. Oh oh no, I kept it together as I
walked past him, burning at the seams with excitement. A few hours later,
it was time for the block, for the block of signings that featured
Funk. I had to make this moment special because it quite literally was.
I'm a big fan of ten and an artist. One showed me a tattoo
while he'd gotten of the signature of his favorite tattoo artist, Paul Booth.
That inspired me to go on a journey of my own to collect signatures and
my favorite wrestlers, and I had to start with Funk. It's nuts,
I know, but it is what it is, nuts, whatever you're into.
Absolutely, I approached Terry, shook his hand, expressed my admiration,
and asked the question, will you sign my back so I can get a
tattoo of it? Terry stared me blankly and said you want what. I
explained to him again and he was still puzzled, but waved me on to
walk behind the table. He asked again, you're going to do what?
I again explained the tattoo. I did and showed him where I on my
back. I wanted the signature. As I lifted my shirt, Terry said,
do you want me to sign yours? Is that what it is?
Meanwhile, Harley Race is seated at the next table, leaning over to get
a better look at what was going on. Man Terry and I laughed and
he signed my back but didn't like how it came out, so he signed
the opposite side. Even then, Terry said, Hugh, I really wish
you wouldn't do this, but I know you're gonna do what you wanna do,
and you're crazy. Heck quote is that. He looked to my dad
and said he's crazy. Wow. We laughed. He gave my dad a
big He gave me a big hug and handshake, and I was on my
way getting the tattoo that evening. Since the Funk meeting, I've had several
seven others signed my back. Brett Hart, Christ, Jericho, Shawn michaels
Edge, Mick Foley signed Cactus Jack, the Undertaker and Hulk Hogan, which
is an amazing story for another day. They may say never to meet your
heroes, but thanks to Brooke thinking I was actually Ed Sheeran, I got
the All Star introduction to the Hulkster and he made it a very memorable experience.
Of course, of course, you know, listen, Brook's gonna works,
gonna be like fucking yeah. Anything to get her a fucking music contract,
please, And one of these days I want no, dude, I
want to Ed Dude, what do you What do you think about Brook?
Brother? Broositate you that next level? Dude? Uh? Sure, all
right this exchange of information, brother, come and get things. Okay,
the ball rolling. You know what I'm saying, dude. The only wrestler
that ever refused to sign me was Rick Flair. I explained the whole concept
and told him who else had signed me. Flair could have cared less and
was quick to shoot me down. That's right. Yeah, Hey, it
is what it is, and it's a cool anecdote that I can share.
I know how bizarre of a request it is. I get it. It's
weird, but you only live once, so mine as well. Might as
well make it interest, make things interesting. The man a time for Hogan
does like a podcast and mentions that you know, I from real understand Ed
Shearon actually has my signature tattooed on his back. Brother the brother assole thing,
dude. I'll talk to Ed sheeran dude. I met him brother at
a convention. He's a fan dude, and he and he actually said,
hey, you know Holkster brother. Can you saw him back, dude?
And I said, all right, you know this is kind of what Ed
Shearon wants. Ed Shearon can get my tie. You know, brother,
I saw my back, dude. No one's no one said, dude,
no one sign of my back. Brother? What brother? What do you?
I just I just you know, I'm sitting here, what do you?
And you just come at me wide open, and I just, you
know, brother, you kind of like wide open. You're kind of exposing
your back. Brother. I'm like, whoa, you know, what's going
on? Dude? Are you expecting me to turn around? Brother? Turn
around? Rolling Hogan up and in the park and I got too he kicked
out. Oh shit, I'm really looking forward to hearing the Terry Funk story
get the Laps treatment. I've included a list of memory batches and promos that's
not in my head. I'm sure there's stuff missing, which is easy since
Funk has been everywhere. I'll try not to be a stranger and share more
stories from my thirty seven play. This year's is the Fan. I look
forward to the Labs Fan every week, and I'm sure the Terry Funk journey
will be a memorable one. Thank you for all the amazing content and keep
doing what you do. Can halt it there? Thank you, Ann.
That's a great, great story. I love that so much. That's so
That is good shit. It gives me an extra texture on the Funker.
Yeah, I'm always going to picture him eating a heaping plate of breakfast and
Providence now, oh fuck yeah absolutely. Neil writes to us Terry Funk and
the Boys of Summer co chairs between total NonStop Hogan the Wrestler and Under the
Cinemat and now the passing of Terry Funk the theme of twenty twenty three and
the lapsed fan has become the aging Wrestler. It reminds me of one of
my favorite books, The Boys of Summer by Roger Kahn pronounced like Con and
an ad to pro wrestling God, was a junior beat reporter who covered the
Brooklyn Dodgers during their nineteen fifty two and fifty three seasons. For the book,
he recounted those years in the first part, but the vast majority of
the book deals with the rocky and often tragic aftermath of each player's career.
In nineteen seventy, before jumping to seventy, Con wrote one of my favorite
passages, Unlike most, a ballplayer must confront two deaths first, between the
ages of thirty and forty. He perishes as an athlete, although he looks
trim and feels vigorous and retains unusual coordination. The superlative reflexes, the major
League reflexes pass on at a point when many of his classmates are newly confident
in rising in other fields, he finds that he could no longer hit a
very good fastball or reach a ground or four strides to his right. At
thirty five, he is experiencing the truth of finality, as his major league
career is ending. All things will end. However, he sprang, he
was always earth bound. Morality embraces him pardon me, mortality embraces him.
Mmmm ah more, morality would not embrace at all. The Golden Age has
passed in a moment, so will all things, So will all moments mm.
The second death condescribed as much worse for wrestlers because they can work around
it. If you are a ballplayer, becomes clear to everyone when you can
no longer hit a twenty year old fast, but a pro wrestler can be
protected even as their body and life crumble around them if they enjoyed some degree
of national fame. You can beat Greg Valentine in nineteen ninety seven WCW and
lumber around on the B and C level shows, or Andre the Giant leaning
on the ropes in six man tag matches in Japan. There is always the
sense with these past their prime wrestlers that they are hiding from the fans.
Even when they are in full view. They preen and pretend that the realities
of their peak years are still in effect, oblivious to what it means to
be a wrestler in the current climate. The veterans might argue that they provide
an escape to the past for older fans, but make no mistake, the
escape is for the wrestler. The escape is for the wrestler. That's right.
We sit here and say wrestling is just an escape. Wrestling is an
escape for these wrestlers who fucking yes will let up at a in an early
grave. If it wasn't for this business. It's better to live Neil Wrights
in the bubble than venture into the scary present. Put off the second death
until the first one comes to you. What made Terry Funk different, at
least the Terry Funk I knew when I first watched him in the mid nineteen
nineties, was that he was one of the few wrestlers who leaned into his
age and made it work in his favor. A big part of it was
because, as many have pointed out in tributes to the Funker, he never
had a set match with spots. He would insist on working in every time
right. It have his go to moves like the left jab or sometimes swinging
wildly at the air, but there weren't specific sequences he latched onto. Think
of Ricky Steamboat always hitting his opponent's knees on a standing splash to turn the
tide of the match. Because he was a nimble wrestler, Funk could come
across as the wily veteran who adjusted his game in the face of a changing
world. It made his struggle to stay in wrestling compelling. While a lot
of his contemporaries tried to turn back the clock and reach out towards the wrestling
they knew in their prime, Funk was the type of guy who would learn
how to moon salts to the floor or wrestle and barbed wire and explosives because
he knew the struggle was compelling. Jim Cornett mentioned how we c W and
Paul Hayman reinvented Terry Funk into the gentle elder statesman of wrestling, and that
it was that Funk that rivetted me because he did talk about his age and
in his weariness, but despite those limitations, he was still willing to do
what it took to hang with the young guys coming up. How could you
not root for a man like this? The Funker never grew bitter in a
weird pseudo sport where you expected trash modern day wrestlers. Once your body goes
and your mind starts to fog up, the idea of wrestling continuing after you
is a hateful thought. For most veterans. Unlike CON's Boys of Summer,
Funk didn't retain his health past his prime ring years. The injuries kept piling
up, and in the end his mind went for long stretches. But it
was the Funker's embrace of his mortality, of the fans' ability to witness his
fight against decay and death, that he knew would make him a legend.
Mmm. That's that fucking smoke. That's that fucking mail bag. Thank you,
Neil, I appreciate that big fan, wonderful letter. We go now
to Shane's thoughts. Boss. Here you go on the Funker. Dear gentlemen,
I hope it's not too late to recall collections of meeting Terry Funk.
I've been listening to a LAPS fan religiously for the best part of eight years,
but lately a lot has been going on, so I have not had
the chance to catch up on the latest episodes. All I know is that
you two will provide an excellent tribute show to the Funker, and I'd love
to tell you about the time I met the man himself. It was about
four to five years ago, and like any true wrestling fan, I had
my xx XL shirt T shirt T shirt on, and I was on my
way to meet and greet my hero, to meet and to a meet and
greet to meet my hero. That's that's where it is. Terry was a
great guy and told me all kinds of stories about being on the road in
a great match. You know. One time, I remember, what does
he say, I'm being serious? What is it? Yeah, I mean
I'm serious about this. I'm serious about and I'm serious about this. You
know. One time I was on the road, you know, I was
with Dunk and and and one time we just kind of pulled over and and
just started rolling around the grass, you know. And then and then I
got back in the car and Dunk didn't fall on I just left and eventually
he ran back to wherever we were going. Remember, laughs nervously. No,
you don't understand. I tried to get rid of my brother. He's
a piece of shit. It doesn't know where he is. If you ever
see him, tell him. Terry wants him dead. If you ever see
him, I suggest you try to kill him. Damn talking about suggest just
you're trying to kill him. Afterwards, I headed for dinner with my sister
and cousin and would you believe it, Terry Funk was at the same restaurant,
not only that, but would accidentally give been given his table. Apparently
he was fond of the restaurant, had a specific table he liked, and
the management had messed up and gotten their days wrong. It was Tuesday and
they thought he was coming on Thursday or something like that. Anyway, the
manager, completely embarrassed that this is a pretty nice restaurant, comes by and
says, I'm so sorry, but we'd like to move to another table if
you could be trumpled, and we gladly accomplished you for the cost of the
meal and any other meal you'd like while you're in town. My sister and
cousin and cousin were both like, yeah, that's cool, and I kind
of played the asshole, but I'm sorry. I just don't understand. We've
been here for fifteen minutes, we've just ordered. Can we finish our meal
here? Then out of nowhere, Terry Funk shows up next to the manager
and says, Paul, these guys can finish, We'll be at the bar.
I got some time, and I bet yeah, yeah, We've we've
done this one before. Oh, Wow, I had no idea. Please
feel free to give them the table. Terry was grateful, shook my hand
and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and
told me to give him a call later. And working up the nerve,
I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short,
we had a glorious She'll never forget our bodies in from the Beauty of
Morocco to the French trip of the Snortling in the Galpagos, Terry Funk and
I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents.
Oh man, I guess the Vince texts did leag in their entires there we
go. Yes, uh, Shane's like, I want to get this in
and they're gonna read it not even know. Yeah, sorry to disappoint,
but thanks for the letter. Pal. Yep, we know. Jordan.
I can't remember the first time I saw Terry Funk. It was probably his
match against Hogan on Saturday Night's main event. We're getting pushed through a window
by Sylvester Stallone. But I can definitely tell you when I fell in love
with Terry Funk. We were in the Galapagano nineteen eighty nine was such a
great year for wrestling, especially in the NWA. It was the peak of
Rick Flair and he just completed a trilogy of masterpieces with Ricky Steamboat. Without
even taking a literal breath. He was fending off another challenger for his newly
won title, Terry Funk. I watched the book ends of the Steamboat Feued
live with my dad and we were fixed as Terry pled his case desperately for
a match against Flair. We felt bad for Funk. It was almost pathetic.
I didn't know then what I know now that a hurt Funk, a
desperate Funk, is a dangerous animal. What he did to Flair in the
aftermath of that interview didn't look planned, didn't look pro wrestling. Terry Funk
was real. At the time, I loved Rick Flair. My dad said
it was because I respected him, but I still couldn't take my eyes away
from the beating Flair took. Terry Funk was mesmerizing in his violence. But
it was the next month that Terry Funk became etched into my memory forever.
In June of eighty nine, he cut the Beautiful Dream promo on Ric Flair,
where he turned the mannic fervor down just enough to become even more menacing.
After describing a bizarre scene involving a donkey and a broken fender, Funk
got serious and stared down the camera, screaming, well, let me tell
you something, Ric Flair. You look at me in the eye, because
I am looking at you. You realize that you must live not in the
future, because there is none. You must live in the past. Give
up that belt or else, stick your neck out one more time for me.
Stick it out for me, Flair. Yes, I had chills.
The man wasn't acting. They forgot to tell Terry Funk wrestling wasn't real.
He was insane and fearless. And I loved him so much that I sat
down and wrote him a letter, an actual letter, and my dad mailed
it to the Double Cross Ranch, or so he told me. Whether my
dad did or didn't doesn't matter, though I hope he did. I truly
hope Terry Funk saw my letter in the summer of nineteen eighty nine and knew
that on that day and every day since, he had one more person in
his corner. Recommended matches Terry versus Jumbo nineteen seventy two, that the Funks
had a large hand and training Jumbo helps explain the chemistry here. These two
put on a technical chess match that demonstrates both Funks in ring mastery and his
ability to guide a young prodigy. Dorry and Terry versus Brody and Hanson nineteen
eighty two. These four had plenty of classics, but this is my favorite,
possibly the bloodiest of the lot. It's pure savage fun. Flair and
Sting verse Mooden Funk eighty nine. This Thunderdome match is insane and so much
fun. Flair and Funk continue their blood feud while Mooda and Sting more than
keep up their end. That's the conclusion, Thanks Jordan, great little list
there. One day we'll get to Halloween Havoc eighty nine. Yep, have
we not? I don't think we did have a eighty nine. No,
let's see, isn't that kind of that's where we're at now? Oh?
Yeah, I know, yeah, we did Halloween Havoc ninety. Okay,
because Halloween Havoc eighty nine is the one where the top of the cage lights
on fire, as they have, I don't know why I could have sworn
and we've done it. The Pyro accident, road Warriors over skyscrapers, Luga
versus pillman. Usually a quick look at what I'm looking at right here tells
me if we did it, and I don't think we did. We did
eighty nine great American Bash, for sure, and again we did ninety havoc
but not eighty nine. Okay, eighty nine, so very good. Let's
see what's next here. Over to Patrick on phil Rights, I totally lost
my shit on quote Dusty identified as being from both Hamburg and Frankfurt, AH,
and Dusty identifies as being from a Hamburg B's, Frankfurt C Steak and
Cheese speaking of Philly. Yes, that's right. I mean it's great stuff.
Give it to me. These little moments that people on Patreon are highlighting,
kind of bookmarking for us, just such a service they're providing and they
don't even realize it. Mm hmmm. It's here from Elijah Boss, he
writes, Terry Funk, the man, the Legend to the co chairs.
I write this letter first off as a thanks to keeping up and giving it
to us hard. And secondly, when I heard you were doing a tribute
to one of the wildest bastards in the history of the sport of kings.
I had to share my thoughts. I'll never forget my first time watching Funk.
It was in e c W back in late ninety six. Caught a
glipse of this wild man, but it more of a treating of but more
of treating him like the legend he is. What made me a fan for
life was the Shotgun Saturday Night episode before the nineteen ninety seven rumble. Early
Shotgun is wild to look back upon, but Terry being Terry, took it
to a level that blew my young mind apart. Here's this legend calling Todd
Pettengill's mother a whore. He calls Vince a Yankee bastard, and j R.
Got it too, for he was an oky asshole and he said this
on Broadcast TV New York fifty five was the station. Holy fuck, this
guy is awesome. I thought, between that and ECW on WWE TV that
got me to watch Barely Legal, the first ECW pay per view, and
on that night I knew that Terry Funk is going to take it two levels
beyond anybody else before or after could not even approach That's why I've always enjoyed
when the Old Coat ever appeared. There was going to be some unforgettable insanity
that only he could bring. Funny enough between that and this in his attempt
attempted suffocation of flair on WCW, he might be the only guy whose actions
got the WWWW in trouble with their networks. Keep it up, guys,
and thanks for all you do, and I know you'll do Terry justice.
From insulting Dusty to telling others like Meltzer how good all Japan women's wrestling was,
to getting choke slammed off his sneakers, he did it all. Indeed.
Indeed, Polly cautiously writing on Patreon reminding us that apparently something we said
along the way is the following quote, all of a sudden my pants fell
down and I didn't have a penis anymore. Sounds about right. Yes,
Indeed, a man writing some great stuff, I want a head he Zach
says, it's a fall tradition to almost choke on something pumpkin spice each fall.
Listening to that cast to twenty twenty three was the line at two hours,
twenty minutes, make him sunk his own cock Oh Jesus, Chrissy out
there, Zach. And the food was pumpkin spice frosted mini wheats. So
that's right. Officially, fall is here. That's amazing, he writes,
speaking of hair and skin tone, Dory always reminded me of the crypt keeper.
I can see that, And he writes, no journey has made me
more staunchly lapsed and more depressed for what wrestling is now than the lapsed funk.
Goddamn to be alive. When the Carnies would go to these lengths to
trick you into thinking it's legit to people who say AW is a better alternative
WWE that respects the business of wrestling more, how can you get your counter
to wrestling's history? How can you get more counter, he writes, to
wrestling's history than having press conferences going over the acting. They all do that
in fairness, but yeah, that's definitely an unwelcome development, you know.
Yeah, try to channel Diana White in a Carney business poly cautiously. Also
write, the lighter your bank account, the less your knees ache. That
you love that line. I love that line. That one came up many
times. Oh so good. Dean makes a great point on Patreon. At
Boy's Ranch, the boys were underaged and crazy. Well that's not wrong.
Polly cautiously also writes, Dennis stamp is the uncle you don't want to accidentally
sit next to a Thanksgiving I mean, he's a nice guy at all.
Brought the hot dish. He is in Minnesota. Guy brought the hot dish,
and it has noodles, cheese, cream of mushroom, green beans and
frenches onion strings and corn flakes on top. But he'll tell you the same
stories about seeing Lurch in an airport once, just as last year and the
years before. And can I tell you about the time I saw Lurch?
Did I tell you about that? Well, let me tell you again.
Oh God, Dennis, I thought by saying yes, you wouldn't The next
year, I'm gonna try. No. Well, I mean the thing about
the Luch story is that there's so many layers to it, and you can
find it on each time. Yeah, and I'm always left in the lurch.
The year after that, I'm gonna try Dennis tell the story and everybody
dies. That's what it has to come to. Well, I think I
might have to tell a story again. Just gotta keep telling is Paul Wright
telling on myself. You have to pretend you never heard it before because it
might be his last holiday season. That's right, that's right. That wasn't
the case for any members of the Solar System. As twenty twenty three became
twenty twenty four. Haystacks rights, I think it's safe to assume that the
anecdote about drinking beer while riding an oil pump refers to writing a pump jacky.
This must have been some reference he made. Terry Funk made it a
promo we listened to. This is from the very beginning into the ring episode.
Okay, he says these slow moving oil field pumps resembled kicking donkey when
they're in operation. So one of those Texas isms coming out of the mouth
of the Funker over the course of the years. Haystacks also rights, you
really love how this Funk tribute journey is organically filling out the picture of Texas
Territorial wrestling. While we await the iron Claw before the Lapschunk moves on to
bigger and better things. That's so true. Like ye, this was such
an opposite side of the coin from what we thought Texas wrestling was as scenes
on Erics, it became very apparent to me as the episodes turned that what
Fritz wanted was the funks lifestyle. He will the funk success. You know,
he wanted to be Dorry, and he wanted his sons to be Terror,
to be Doriy senior, and he wanted his sons to be Terry and
Dorry Junior. I mean that's what it was. The blueprint was right there,
right across the state from him. Yep. Stephen writes, I love
how the Laps Funk tribute has turned into being Terry Funks fucking turn well.
Hm hmm, it happens. It has to happen, always happens. Yep.
Jim Rocca writes on Patreon doctor to Terry, Terry, your knee is
degenerate into powder and you need a knee replacement, Terry. So, let
me go ahead and ask you a question. If I don't do anything,
can I go ahead and live comfortably? If I don't do anything, am
I going to be okay? No? Well, if I don't do anything,
let me ask you like this, If I don't do anything, can
I still eat dinner? Well? That that would be something, wouldn't it,
Terry? I guess. Okay, if I if I again and just
bear with me, will I be able to actually go to sleep? I
mean I suppose, I suppose you'll be in a lot of pain. I
didn't ask that. Don't go off on crazy detours and distractions. I'm not
here to tell you. You know, we're going to keep the straight and
narrow, all right, We're not going off on this direction that direction.
I'm asking you simple questions. I want simple answers. Nick writes, I
feel like the co chairs glossed over this because they are so desensitized to how
wrestlers behave. But I think we need to pause and reflect on the fact
that Dennis Stamp was talking to the mother of a child who had one month
to live, and he needs her to know that he wrestled the World champ.
He could not allow another second to go by with her potentially thinking that
he was just some nobody wrestler. That's a yeah, that was a very
touching moment during the course of the Lapsed Fan as this is the Jersey ll
Pro show that we talked about. Okay, you know I don't remember.
Actually, let me med be doubly sure here because it would be be a
tough slog if we've already conveyed this sentiment, let's see here. Okay,
Yeah, that's that's the uh, the great message that we got from Tom
drive you, which we were conveyed of meeting Terry Funk at a Jersey El
Pro show in two thousand and three and sort of already starting to notice the
shakes and yeah and those things. So that's available on the final episode of
The Lapsed Funk Hull. Cogan writes on Patreon. I don't know. I
think we hate school is kind of fire. Terry's got bars. I mean
we hate school rock and roll. Yeah, we hate school. I mean
I still remember it. Yep. I'll say that for it. Yep,
yep. Carla writes regarding Japanese cowboys, I like to presume Japanese people get
the same incredulous astonishment at the Caucasian mustache man sense running his martial arts class
for kids in full costume without irony. Isn't that true? Yes, everybody's
Chuck Norris and American karate gyms. Rus writes, well, I went ahead,
and I decided to go ahead, and just went ahead and went ahead.
I want to head, I want ahead ahead of this ahead of that,
And I'll tell you I just I just kept I just kept going ahead
of the eight ball. And you know, dad eating eating turkey head and
what smoked fish head? And uh, you know, I kept telling I
kept telling Roman Reigns that I am the head of the table. I'm actually
I'm actually ahead of the tablet hit him in the head, but I want
to hit him with the head of the head of the table. Ship.
Yeah, ahead of the table. It's probably a good Philly. I went
ahead of the table. The head of the table, shouldn't he I'm ahead
of the table. Yeah, I want ahead of the table. Steve right
to the cowboy fascination in Japan, it's even more amazing. We talked about
this in the Japanese the funking in Japan episodes of The Last The Cowboy fascination
is even more amazing when you consider westerns like The Magnificent Seven, we're just
westernized remakes of Samurai films. That's a good point. It's a very good
point. Actually. What you like about that, well, that that that
because the the you know, you forget that that movies like that. You
know, Magnificent seven is the seven Samurai. But just told in American Western
style. Yeah, you know that's a that's very interesting. Yeah, we
were noodling on, you know, this apparent cultural phenomenon of the Japanese dressing
like American Western cowboys and themed bars and things like that, and we saw
but it's really a flip of the flip of the coin. There's a reason
it speaks to them. Auntie writes, A boss singing raw Hide is a
top tier moment. I'd have to put that coin into the jukebox. Raw
Hide, raw Can I ask you a question? Yes, you do?
Kamala again. I don't do these kind of things after but I've been walking
around doing it to myself for days now. It's it's the best one.
It's so stupid. It's so stupid, Like, oh god, I does
that speak to the fan? You know? Oh? I could listen to
that all day just walking around laundry. Oh, we need you to bring
the passion at punchline, Philly. Oh, absolutely, like Michael Bolton out
there. Oh fuck yah, Bruce writes, fucked up realization here. Kenny
Omega is older right now than Abdullah was in the matches we watched in All
Japan. Oh my god. Also fucked up. Abby is the one that
is alive between Terry and him, and that the truth. Neil writes,
what's great about Dory is he really goes after you in the ring, keeps
his opponent in the clinch, and doesn't really bail or separate that often always
looking for a way to hit you and get your shoulders down. But I
get the feeling of style was much better live than on TV. Terry had
the tools to connect to a television audience. I think it's a good point.
And people have said about working with Dunk that like, you don't see
that forearm coming and it can smash you. You know, he's not in
there. He's not in there trying to look anything but totally credible and tight.
And I think we grew in appreciation for that the tag matches we watched
over the course of Oh for Sure, and that match with ANOK too,
Dorry one on one with an Nooke with Terry at ringside and the young Terry.
Christopher writes, and Marilla not unlike the AWA is a territory where people
are quietly insane, quoting us where people quietly insane, it's still early,
Christopher wrote, But is it too much to ask that Rod Tronguard call it
Terry Funk match. Oh never got there. I don't think he ever did
call it Terry Funk match. Joe writes, I think Dorry Junior was what
a champion really looked like to Middle America at the time, quiet and humble.
Bad guys were loud and obnoxious. Yeah, we talked about whether Dorry
had that look. Well, you know, I kept telling Terry Fongki that
I am, well, I'm just doing the best that I can as a
champion, and you never know, you never know really what it is that
makes the appeal of a champion, but you never know what it is is
that that I that someone can bring. You just do the best that you
can and hopefully you never understand what it is that you brought to the table,
because if you understand what brought to the table, then then somebody else
can and then what right, what good is it? What good is that?
Said? Hopefully you can hopefully you never understand what you brought to the
table. I mean, is he having like leadership seminars with this kind of
high level thinking? I am, and I always wish that I had participated
like Terry Funk did my brother Terry Funk did in a royal rumble. I
never got there in the nineteen ny six rumbledory. Huh you were in the
nineteen ninety six one in Fresno. I think you might be mistaken. I
have no recollection of that. You know, these things happen. We all
make mistakes, okay. Thanks. That's like tell someone they're wrong with something
that's totally, verifiably right, and then you say it's okay. We all
make mistakes before they can even express any remorse for being wrong. What a
mind fuck this is for your dor. Sean wrote, who'd think that lapsed
Jack Briscoe would be a revelation as fun times man? Oh yeah. Sean
also writes two degrees of paranoia. Hogan is frantically back against the wall,
checking the blinds for the yakuza. What However, Stan Hansen, who we
talked a lot about, is cool, calm and collected, but also informing
Hogan during breakfast that the Yakuza have been fluoridating the water supply to pollute our
precious bodily fluids. What do you mean, dude? Well, you know,
Terry, there's not a lot to be afraid of. We're in good
hands and we're being watched over carefully. We're very important to the country and
the promoters. I just, you know, in terms of the water,
that's the only thing, you know. I heard a lot about it and
it really stuck in my cross. Dude, what do you mean the water
when you're in your hotel, Terry? I just recommend that you you stay
away from the water, that's all. I wouldn't drink it, I'm not.
I wouldn't even shower with it, frankly to shower this morning, Terry.
Who it's got? The water's floridated and it's what do you mean Florida
basically designed to make all men sterile? Solly boys, are you saying?
Brother? Are you saying that Florida made sterile? Dude? What's Florida said?
It's Florida? Dude? What who in Florida is eyeing? Mean?
Brother? What's h do you hear that? Oh? I know, I
can't say I do what What do you hear? What? What do you
hear? Brother? I told don't hear anything. What can't hear me either?
This is going well? Must be that Florida floridated water? What m
floridation? What do you are you saying Florida is being sung to the ocean?
Dude? Is that what you said? I didn't say that, but
it's true. Terry brother. You are you trying to climate change for your
brother? Are you? I just want to get things clear, brother,
have you? Are you saying that climate change? Brother? What about my
Tan? Right? Do CO two stand for? About brother? I mean?
What about the General Tan? Dude? General General? Didn't he lead
a Cambodia into the battle? That's General Tan? Got it? Got it?
What you know about General Tan? Nothing? Nothing? Either way?
That would be the name of a Tanning booth like North Korea, General Tan
like it's It has to be as fucking generic and straightforward as it or they'd
shut it down. General Tan. Food stand, restaurant, cheese dispensary,
Oh fuck, probably cheese, A wonderful the wonderfully named patron. Probably enchiladas.
Right, I'm gonna go ahead and uh get out of bed and uh
walk to the shed and then uh get myself fed. Great way to start
the mornings, funk style. That's it. That's what you gotta do.
Steve Wright's I've read a couple sticking the mad, Sticking the med sticking the
mud. What Steve Wrights. I've read a couple of stories that backs up
the co chairs view on Dorry at the convention. Dory would be in all
these back room meetings with the big promoters. Meanwhile, Terry would wind up
and heck all the same promoters during their speeches during the convention. And if
Boss is interested, there is an excellent Jack Briscoe Roddy Piper feud from the
early eighties from mid Atlantic that's worth a look on the network. So yeah,
put that in our in our back pockets. Yeah, yeah, that
was That's he's talking about the NBA conventions, where Terry would be, you
know, actively working the crowd, and Dorry would be like just this non
this non entity, this sort of wallflower. Yeah. Neil Wright's Paranoia Power
rankings for the Lapsed Funk number one, Stan Hansen number two, Jack Briscoe,
number three, Dorry Junior. It's a compelling little idea there, you
said. Matt pointed out a great tweet. It says, I don't know,
it wasn't directed at us, but it was out there and it was
it was. It was interesting in Japan when I Sam from Texas, everyone
asks me about Terry Funk, but I have to admit I have no idea
who this guy is. Wow. Just some anonymous person out there tweeted that,
Oh, that's spectactuar. Extremely telling as we talked about what Funk meant
to that nation during the course of the lapsed Funk Mike writes on Patreon,
the NBA World Champion in nineteen seventy four couldn't have a Burger in the room.
He had to settle for a Bologney in the room. Perhaps bloney blow
out. Probably, Chris writes, someone better than me needs to do an
AI painting of the Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving with Stehn helen Hart serving the turkey,
with Terry Funk attacking the cat in the salad bowl, and a different picture
of all the talents under Terry's learning tree. Maybe Terry is an ent from
Lord of the Rings. That's funny. Zach writes, TLF has unquashably taught
us if there is another wrestling royal family at most, certainly the Funks,
not the Rhads is oo shots fired. Adam writes not to be confused with
Sylvester Ritter, who was the pastry sucking dog eighty X three. That's a
winner, He writes a timecode down and this is on the episode I Hate
You Lawler as we look at the Jerry Lawler feud and lapsed Funk, he
writes at one twenty three twenty aspiring artists, instead of going into lifelong debt
to study your chosen media at university, drop out and listen to Terry Funk's
speech at that time period. For those who are are curious, pd rights
that Barbara Streisand's no song that Terry Cutt has been stuck in my head for
the past two days. It's as it should be. It's a fascinating album.
Pop it is, Paul writes, speak bizarre, bizarre, speaking of
Mick making Funk callbacks. In their empty Arena match, the Rock throws a
bull of salsa and Foley's face, causing him to the ground, screaming my
eye. I've forgot about that. Oh God, my eye. And in
the Funker's credit it was much more absurd as the Rock than grabs a chip
scoop salsa from mix I and says, what are you crying about? It's
mild, that's funny. They should do another halftime heat. Oh yeah,
they totally should. I'd love to see this. Hey Stax writes, If
listening to the lapsed Funk is considered eating vegetables, I think I'm ready to
go vegan. There we go. If the Funker didn't know who the real
Terry Funk was, from what I've heard so far, it seems like he's
the only one who knew, and you and you and us were just getting
perpetually worked. Wow, who the real Terry was? It's a thought to
consider. It's a thought to consider. Phil Wrights just woke to see another
slice of Funk from my oral pleasure, still reeling from Terry repeatedly calling Jerry
Lawler a baby banger. The fact that this is one hundred percent accurate is
of course totally normal in a no way inappropriate, not at all. Philip
also writes, being from Britain, a country with the significant Pakstini population,
Yes, I'm very glad that that thing we inadvertently referred to that is a
slur for people of Pakistani descent. Yea and Britain. We have no idea,
but Funk just straight up says it in his book. So we learn
every day here, that's for sure. Are A Ronaldi writes, imagine Hulk's
face when he calls to apologize and Vicky Funk says, Oh, he doesn't
want to talk to you. He's going to kill you. What that is?
I mean, I think my husband's fearless, and that's the truth.
We fearless. I'm just looking to talk to Terry's either there brother? Who's
Terry? A lot of these multiple terries lately. I'm not what's going on
here, Terry Funk, Terry Brother, Terry Cross, who's next, Terry
Taylor brother? I mean, you talked to Terry Sapinsky, Vicky? Who's
Vicky? Why is Terry Taylor even here? Broke? Why do you bring
up Terry Taylor? Vicky? I didn't say anything about that, Hulk do?
I want to understand why? What the slowest thing down? Let's go
stop by. I got the time, you got the time. Let's let's
really walk through this in a way. We both had him on the same
page, Okay, Vicky, I want to know exactly what the fuck is
going and which Terry is the real Terry Brother? Huh do you know?
Do you know which? Because as far as I know, dude, Terry
Hulk Hogan is a real Terry brother Terry on the line right now, Vicky
is do you've been on the lote? Have you been? Have you been
fucking with me? Terry? Terry? Is this Vicky Funk? Or Vicky
ask you? Is this Vicky Guerrero? What is going on? Brother?
Where are we? WHOA? I gotta go? I got it? The
Vicky has said not a word for fifty seconds, not a word. What
h He's waiting for dial tone to see if she hung up, but he
doesn't want to assume she hung up and hung up? Hang up first?
Did you yeah? Yeahhhh? Where or what? Yeah? Uh oh exactly
that's such a such a listless, weak little horrified terrified who sits there?
Terrence? Terrence. Also, if Oliverourne could could have yep, Terry,
then Hansen came in a year later, he might have had a fighting chance.
Yeah, that had been something Hogan versus harrys of the w A wow,
it's not thought about enough. Yes. The great letter from Jacob,
which we shared on the show, Neil writes the McMahon's love Cowboy Heels Watts,
Hanson, Funk, Bob Orton, Junior jbl. It feels like it's
tapping into an East Coast sentiment. That's interesting, Steve writes, I still
love from a few weeks ago on that cast that cowboy Bill Watts complained about
Terry Funk being a fucking gimmick. Yeah, that's an under explored part of
that. Like, what's up with Bill Watts not liking Terry Funk. There's
got to be more to that story. Yeah, right, David writes,
I want you to know that because of TLF, I'm calling my sister's new
dog Perry parents. That's very highly appropriate. Yes, Steve writes, I
imagined upon meeting hul Cogan that Dory Junior was incredibly confused and distressed that there
were multiple Terry's that were not his brother, while Hogan was suspicious of his
behavior as it seemed like the sort of thing the roll up artists he had
been warned of do to get behind him to grab his torch. Mmm,
multiple Terry's brother. We didn't even say anything about Terry Garvin. That's do
you have to I love this thought, Boss. Chocolate equals Detrimentat wrote this,
this, this, this makes it all worth it, extremely comforting,
he writes, to wake up on a Friday morning to hear the eggs sucking
intro as I make coffee. Yes, Carla writes, we're living the Funker.
That's his charm and his golden gimmick. That smile. He can cut
a man open, bite his wound and spit out blood, throw the whole
world in absolute chaos, cut psychotic and insane promos. Then that smile just
washes everything away. It's wonderful. Mmmm. A stacks lapsed Funk is multiple
listen worthy, even his new episodes drop. If this is all going to
culminate in the coach chairman going ahead and proclaiming the Funker the undisputed goat,
I can imagine him responding by giving a tip of the hat from somewhere on
that big ranch up in the sky and saying, you know, uh,
Jack and JP, that's just wonderful, followed by a twinklelied wink and a
ry smile at closing wink and smile, indicating of course, that he still
knows something you don't. That's right, I mean we didn't make the determination.
I mean, what do you think greatest of all time? Yeah?
I think it's I think it's safe to say I think I think, honest
to God, when and when you consider when you consider all the the the
the different wrestlers that he impacted, when you consider the longevity of the career,
the multitude of decades, it's like, I don't know my my my
only my only, like say, like h drawback would be of course,
like it's like it's weird, like we would you consider him to be a
significant TV draw. Yeah, when he was in WCW in eighty nine,
he did do like that clash match remarkably high rating, one of the highest
ratings ever for a cable television match. But the thing about his US career
is he was never really in a position to draw a television rating as we
think, right, right, Certainly the main event Seria's main event match with
Hulk Cogan was big numbers. But I struggle to say that any other opponent
would have done more or less against Hogan. I mean that was just you
know, right, That's just an era where you were just the guy being
fed to Hogan next, and it was hard to tell your value apart from
what Hogan kind of gave you as a as a as a base right number.
But I mean, geez, But that also is to say that it's
not like you can point to his television numbers against Flair and Hogan and say
that the guy wasn't a draw. You absolutely have. Yeah, no,
I know, like it's just it's it's a it's a weird thing because he
wasn't like put in the position to to to do it himself, you know,
right in a way where you can clearly assign credit to him. But
even when he was on Raw in ninety seven and ninety eight in particular,
I mean hugely rated segments, but that's cross currents with the fully Austin stuff.
So it's like right, right, but you know all the you know,
the New Age Outlaws angle the night after WrestleMania fourteen, it's like he
just yeah, he can only be there in the soup for so many significant
moments before you start to realize that, like, no, this isn't just
an accident, This isn't He's not just a He's not just a character that's
there by chance. It happens too many times. He puts himself in these
positions in ways that are sort of I think that compel promoters to feature him
in things that are gonna draw money without even really intending for him to be
the money drawing part of it. Yet he's always that extra spice that guarantees
it's gonna work. He's that reliable guy that has the instincts that you know,
this might be a shit idea, but the best possible version it is
the version with Terry Funk involved playing to his strength, right, you know,
right, that was his stock in trade, and like you said,
very very observantly, you know WCW and WWF and the Attitude era, they
brought him in when shit was tough. They brought him in when he felt
like the a lot of options or you know, when the phone rang.
He knew WCW was in trouble, like he said in two thousand, right,
But just just the level of draw he was in all Japan and the
crowd he drew for ONEITA for a non Big two Japanese wrestling event at Kawasaki
Stadium in nineteen ninety three. I mean, all the signs are there if
you care to see him, that this guy could really draw draw a crowd.
But he spent so much time doing so many definitive things for his story
in ECW, where these venues were kind of you know, they were going
to basically sell the same amount of tickets no matter who was on the card.
They didn't really try to aggressively run buildings that would test the outer limits
of how many tickets they could sell. You know, we talked about that
or in the course of the journey how Paul was extremely conservative about going to
bigger buildings, even when ECW was at its hottest. He'd much rather have
like a sold out small house than learn the hard way that they can't draw
up more for five thousand people, you know, something like that, which
they probably could have done, but there were so many limited opportunities to see
that proven. They're disproven. I think the pay per views always did well.
I mean, certainly he was on top of the first show Barely Legal,
which was the success. So I can't think of a metric where it's
like, yeah, but you know, look at that and you can tell
I guess the WCW ratings when he was there in two thousand, but those
were hopeless anyway, And I'm not sure I didn't do a close analysis,
but it actually wouldn't surprise me to see that when Terry did come in for
that first Nitro of two thousand, that it did a better number than Nitro
had been doing by maybe a smidge. I mean, Russo did do well,
didn't do exceptionally well, but he did do well in November December ninety
nine when he first got his hands on the book, in WW and October
as well, right, But a lot of that was because Nitro dropped him
through to two hours, so there was one less hour to throw off the
average comparing you were comparing it to a time period where Nitros on the air
for three hours, So there are a couple of numbers in there where it's
like, yeah, that's an increase, but it's just as much because there
wasn't a diluted third hour in play. Necessarily, you have to keep that
in mind. But no, man, I don't know as far as goat.
I mean, I can see the case. He's got things in his
resume that nobody else will have the same collection of Yeah, yeah, you
know, everything he did, someone else did, but nobody did all of
them in as many places right, and had the downstream effect on any wrestler
that's worth a shit for the past fifty years. That's just such a unique
attribute that he has it nobody else has. So I gotta say, yes,
I got to say he's the greatest of all time. I think,
I think, I think if Flair was arguing in certain ways, for sure,
Flair has got I think I think if Flair. The thing that I
think makes Flair different than Funk, and the the one thing that he has
going for like that I think would would made him, would make him the
greatest, is the television aspect of it, the week to week, the
regular television. The thing that Funk has is the significance that he had over
five decades. Absolutely, that's the difference. Flair did not have the significance
for that many that long, right, like real significance, And there's many
diverse circumstances, right. You know, Funk had a chance to prove that
he could be relevant in a million different styles of promotion. But Flair,
no, he didn't have to do that. So he never really had the
chance to. He didn't have to. He did later in his career.
He did start bumping on thumb tacks and shit, I mean not to suggest
that's all I'm talking about, but he definitely pushed out of his comfort zone
like way later in his career and showed that he could do the modern spectacle
style matches. It's like he couldn't do them, but it was I don't
know that he didn't embody them. I think what Terry did that nobody else
was able to do was kind of like express the full range of what the
business can be in one human being. Whereas everybody else, as great as
they might be that I can think of, that might be in contention for
Goat, they just illustrated one or two things about the business at the highest
level, and that was enough for them. It's it's not a market against
them that they didn't also try to prove themselves as promoters, try to prove
themselves as bookers, try to prove themselves as extreme hardcore wrestlers, try to
prove themselves as someone that can get a promotion off its ass, as somebody
that can motivate a locker room that could create a new generation of talent.
That's certainly know. Sean Michaels would cite Ric Flair as a foundational influence,
just like somebody wrestlers cited, including Ric Flair Tory Funk in that same way.
But it's just it's not even close. I mean, Terry Funk was
every single attribute of every single great wrestler you can think about wrapped into one.
Yep, yeap, just you can't. No one had the option to
be as great as he was, let alone execute as well as he did
with you know, on all those different fronts. Chocolate equals detriment and detriment
also writes, go ahead is some kind of Texas affect. This is interesting.
I had a brain dead, dipshit middle school coach science teacher who also
used go ahead as a verbal crutch. Wow. And you know, I
don't think of it as a crutch with Terry uses it. I think of
it more as like a way to like almost make everything you say sound folksy
and almost unassuming and unright, you know what I mean? Unoffensive? Yeah?
You know. Yeah. Cromas Lamb writes, here's a fun fact from
the LJN archives. As we talked a lot about LJN when we talk about
Terry Funk and WWF, did you know Terry Funk was the only individual figure
that came with two accessories. He had the hat and the branding iron.
Wow. I remember as a kid that branding iron was a major part of
the gimmick. We're keeping that alive, aren't we, boss, Yeah,
we are indeed Jason Wrights laps Jim Hurd with the gun named it Terry's Balls
as me dead. What about Terry? What? Ronaldi writes the Pittsburgh Area
Arena, you're thinking it was the Golden Dome that was a venue or ecw
try to punch above its weight and draw a bigger, bigger crowd. That
was on the device of Shane Douglas, who knew the area. Well,
it probably seats two or three thousand. Rinaldi Rights. They would also run
the ice gardens, which is even bigger. I went to a show there
that my uncle got kicked out over sneaking beers into and they had to tell
my grandfather to put out a cigar like four times, great times, Paul
writes eighty nine. A lot of unusual things happened to me that year.
Broke my back, got abducted by aliens, ad a sandwich, spotted big
Foot on the ranch, mode my front lawn, shot at Chukabarra stub Mottee.
Not to mention funk I had some had some diarrhea. Yeah, yeah,
that was that one year he had diarrhea. That's right. I just
couldn't help myself, just said, hey, this is the way it's got
to be. And I just said, you know what, the squirts are
coming out the sports are there fucking hell taking care of business. To mention
Funk's selling while screaming a specific thing happening to a body part is god tear
Maha, I'm blinded, or my leg is breaking. My mom is broken.
Up there with flaars aye God, Paula submits, so right up there
in that van ah my Ah Teddy quoted lapsed Funk, well, I don't
know where I'm at. I hurt my ribs. I can't do it.
I want ahead and try, but I want to ahead and couldn't do it.
I want ahead and decided, you know what, I'm not going to
try anymore. Zach writes, I do like ECW from the mid nineties,
but in hindsight, they did start a type of wrestling that felt like contrived
spots more than trying to actually win a wrestling match. It's a fair point,
very fair. The great Tom Mattanacio DeReKo chairman. I hope you're both
having a relaxing holiday. I just wanted to note that Terry Funk's alliance with
the Rottens in ECW, Funks few good men might qualify a few good men
for cinemat treatment. Part of the gimmick was the Rockings always did what Terry
told them to do, similar to Colonel Jessop's argument that Marines do it's ordered,
no matter what is ordered, the code read and all that. I
think that's a little bit of a stretch, but he said anyway, it
might be a stretch, but it's something to consider. So you're saying,
nay, qualifying a few good men under the cinemat Listen, listen, I
want a few good men to qualify. Why do you want it to qualify
because I want to get into Aaron Sorkin. Yes, and I would have
liked just exactly. Nash would love it. Nash would appreciate it. But
I just don't. I don't know. I have to investigate the situation more,
the wrestling situation more. Yeah, but when we were doing the Terry
and Dory versus Public againemy and those tag team Barber matches, and when Terry
first brought Dory into the territory, it was around that time when actually,
if you good men already qualifies anyway, Oh yeah, that's fine. Oh
yeah, Well there's a guy there's a there is there is a there's a
man uh a wrestler by the name of Brad jacob Witz, Jacob Jacobowitz.
Jacobbowitz must be Jacobowitz, who has been an extra in hundreds of movies,
so that qualifies it and not a Terry Funk stable in ec W. Yeah.
Interesting, Well, I don't know, I'd have to I'd have to
look at the stable. I don't have to get to if we ever get
there, is it like is it really? Is it really like based on
a few good men? Or is it just the angles to decide for yourself.
Tom provides a helpful link to some hardcore TV episodes, So all right,
I'll take a look. But it sounds like that's where they drew their
inspiration. Very interesting. Corey writes in terms of moon salts, it was
disc that Mudo was like Terry's inspiration in eighty nine to do the moon salts.
Likely Lenny Poffo, and that's a good point. Was doing them in
WWF and eighty five and likely before Latin other territories. I when Heart did
them in Stampede all the time. I'd have to check his years, but
probably eighty six eighty seven or sooner. Plus I'm sure there are a lot
a ton of other guys that did them. Mudas looked the coolest and BAWCW
missed the boat on a babyface mooda run in eighty nine to ninety. That's
absolutely the case. Chavo Guerrero too was moonsalting in the early eighties, I
think, even earlier than Wow Andy Poffo. So it was it was cross
bodies though, that was the thing. It was. You would do it
to standing opponents, which to me was a little less absolutely fucking nuts than
doing one to a opponent flat on his back, especially at Terry Funk's age.
But Steve writes, if this journey has taught me anything it is that
Dorry Junior has called people and got into arguments with their answering machines because he
thought they kept talking over him. Dan writes, we used to bring the
craziest things for the fans, bring the weapons matches in ECW. Dan remembers
this ECW did two house shows in my old stomping grounds of Woodbridge, and
the first time I stole a German language class textbook from the high school and
turn that in for fans. Bring the weapons. Funnily enough, my German
teacher was at the show with his kids. The second time, I took
this carousel horse from the bulk garbage loading dock at the mall I worked out
in those days. The mall had a carousel, and I guess this one,
a particular horse was busted or something, so I loaded it into my
car for the sole purpose of b fbtw at his fans bring the weapons for
ECW. I had to explain to my father why I had this carousel horse
in his garage, and I'm sure he thought I was a complete nutcase when
I did. This thing was probably four foot long and fifty to sixty pounds.
Imagine, oh, my good brings this to a ECW show. Imagine
my disappointment at seventeen, eighteen years old when none of my plunder was used.
Yeah. I don't know what you expect them to do with a sixty
pound gimmick like that, but yeah, a for effort. Clarkson writes,
Listen, I'm walking around my house sing and I want to add to the
tune of I saw the sign from Masive bass Ah when Ahead O. When
I had a when Ahead I hate is what happens when the show. Are
you proud of yourselves? Ahead? I ate myself? Hey, yes we
are Clarkson ahwhen Hey JW writes I'm in that Terry funk WWF wheelhouse. As
things get imprinted, I even remember Hogan's promo for the local show at Horizon
describing him as the terrible Terry Funk or maybe the not so terrible Terry Funk.
There we go, that's more like it. I paraphrase because I was
eight and haven't seen it in forty years. I liked Heels because I'm a
parah, although Hogan will probably call him the terrible Terry Funk because give me
a based on him thinking that multi million dollars itself, you know, Oh
my god, I paraphrase because I was eight and haven't seen it forty years.
I liked Heels because I'm a pariah. And I remember to liking Funk
and then being sorely disappointed that Ron Bass was kind of lame. Has Funk
need Dorry will always be his name to me. And I loved your vignette.
I guess where Vince went to Texas to legally change his name just to
humiliate him. Yes, I never forgot about that. I could care less
about him. But Terry was a hoot to this kid. Yeap, Yes,
indeed, that's that's how Funk is remembered by so many. I think
the way he describes there. Christopher Wright's Last Man Standing was a Bruce Willis
movie that was released the weekend of September twenty second, eighty ninety six.
Why did this come up? A re make of the Western Fistful of Dollars,
which is a pre a remake of the samurai movie Yo Jimbo. The
Bruce Willis movie was updated to Oh, this is because because it was written
that that he was going to make this this, Oh, the Bruce Willis
movie. Right. What was it called? Well, let's see Last Man
Standing? Oh, released in nineteen eighty six. That was the movie.
I guess it is, Yes, that he was Roye. Yeah, there
was a night of in the Observer saying Terry Funk is going to be taking
some time off to do a Bruce Willis movie. Right. It never ver
came, But there was never a Bruce Willis Terry Funk movie. Right.
A remake of the Western A Fistful of Dollars, which was a remake of
the samurai movie Yo Jimbo. The Bruce Willis movie was updated to prohibition era
Texas. The name in the setting sounds perfect for a Terry Funk role as
a minion to get killed by Willis's character. Funk might have thought he would
go ahead and say he was getting in that movie to take a break from
ECW without ever actually officially getting the role. That's possible. I think that
was also the ECW break where he had heppatitis too, So there's that,
Neil Wrights. No, No, hepatitis was, Yeah it was. That
was in the ninety five absence. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was the
late ninety four. Oh I want I hadn't got happatitis and said, hey,
it's from food. By the way, I don't want you to get
the wrong idea. Hey hepatitis. I didn't get it from Abdulla the Butcher,
absolutely not. But Hepatitlius. You know it's what I got there,
Neal Rights, I said, fuck it? Have you Terry fucking ECW?
As being analogous to when a major Hollywood star begins doing horror movies once they
are past their prime. Mmmm, it's very very good point. Our films
allow a fated actor to be a top build name again and to use their
reputation to bolster what could otherwise be a lackluster project. Yep, I think
of I think of a Santa Sleigh Boss with Goldberg. Yeah, yeah,
all the stars in the beginning. Yeah, oh that's true. Yeah.
Well also, you know what I think of more recent one, Russell Crowe
in that in that presectoricism that was that was being promoted at WrestleMania last year.
Oh great point, that's a that's a that's a real one there where
you got uh, you know, a former a level star like you know,
Russell Crowe being just brought down to reality there. Unbelievable. It's a
step down in prestige and pay. But horror movie fans are the ones that
will remember a star and sing their praises long after the big roles and awards
have dried up. ECW was beneath Funk in a lot of ways, Neil
Wrights, but it allowed him to be a leading man again to fans who
wouldn't forget him. That is absolutely true. Yeah, I mean that's so
that's such a big part of why we sit here with nothing but nodding contemporaries
that yes, Terry Funk was great, it's because of the ECW run,
just based on age of everybody, not based on it being the greatest thing
you ever did in his career right, but just based on his ability to
connect to fans that today are taste makers and aren't too old, you know,
basically to even be in the discussion in terms of taste making. So
that's that's a really interesting point. Grumas Lamb writes, I love the Lapsed
Wives Club. Terry, You're ruining the house. Just shut your damn mouth,
Vickie. I haven't got all fucking deckies, and I'm gonna if I'm
gonna dare around, break the fucking house. I'm gonna break the goddamn house.
I'm gonna go ahead and do it. Damn it. Ah oh,
I got ah derga got me kind of excited for this, and then this
is the classic thing that happens over the years with kind of a faded memories.
He wrote to us so very much enjoying the Terry Funk episodes. I'm
not sure if you'll get to this match, but during the FMW run you'll
be covering in a bit there's a classic quote during some match with Cactus in
a school gym with about twenty five people in attendance. Funk is down outside
the ring and goes, I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. I
think that about rivals, my eye and pure funkness. I'm like, dude,
get me a time code. Do you remember anything about it? He
said, God, I wish. I'll see if I can dig it up.
And then he writes back, So I've spent the last two hours digging
through dodgy video sites before finally giving that baby bangor our video five bucks for
the best of Funk video that should have the same matches that the Cactus Jack
tape had we back in the day. I'm thinking it was this match,
and he connects me to it. It's pretty sure it's the match. Let
me see. Yeah, it's the one in the in the freezing cold in
January ninety five. And iwa whenever everyone's got jackets on in the audience and
they're bumping on a flaming chairs and the blue mats on the outside, remember
that one took a big indoor match. And I guess this inside joke my
friends have had for twenty five years is based on bad hearing or something.
I can't locate anything close to I'm dead. I'd be fucking funny if he
said that, though, would be that's a great well if you can say
that you're not Terry Vicky Vicky I'm dead at the Pearly Gates. But you'll
want to cover that match anyways, as we did Flaming Chair and all.
I can get you the file, but to de myself, I'm the guy
that almost went off on Ed Ferraro when I ran into him in an indie
show right after WCW folded. I was lucky enough to meet Terry Funk twice,
once when I was eight or nine and Terry and Dorry were working with
the WWF. The second time was when I worked with Roh and I got
to sit with Terry for a couple of minutes prior to him making his entrance.
My task was to give him his cue when he needed to go out.
The taz recollection from the Banquet brought that memory back, because I'm listening
to the promo and the ring for the phrase to tell Terry that it's time
to go. But Terry is telling me some story and I can't really pay
attention to him. What did he tell me? I have no idea,
but I was enjoying that wonderful, absurd moment and he absolutely made his cue.
Look at that good Memories of the Funker Adam writes, Terry Funk's life
is like if Cormack McCarthy took LSD and then fell asleep on the toilet after
a bad tie meal, then woke up and wrote about the aftermath, brother
after read more Cormack McCarthy and come back to you. On that analogy,
Sam writes, total lunacy, but somehow it seems to fit Terry Funk perfectly,
and describing one of our episodes along the journey, the Lapsed Funk death
matches, how do you feel about those death matches, poss. I mean,
you've had some diver process and digest. Oh god, I just can't.
I can't do that stuff. That stuff it's just not it's it's just
carnage and brutal. I'm not a fan of that. I don't, you
know. It could just it could very well be my age in it.
And you know, but I maybe I probably would have loved it as a
kid, but I just can't. I can't when he throws himself face first
into an ex floating barbed wire board in the corner. No, it's just
come on like really, like, is that what you need to do around
a bed of shattered glass? No? No, no, no, no.
You can hear it crunching under him, like when Daniel Stern stuffs Christmas
ornaments. I mean, fu folx, I mean when the fire goes off
so hard that Funker's hair is smoking for a second afterwards, and he's like
sixty. Oh. By the way, Mick Foley's back out there saying he's
gonna drop, you know, twenty pounds and wants to do one last death
match. Yeah, I saw that. I saw that. TLF does it
again. Steve writes that otto vance match must have happened around the same time
a guy dropped dead between rounds and a match with Tony Saint Clair. I
don't know about this, and in an attempt to avoid scrutiny, VNS brought
in a bunch of US talent to look more WWF level legit. I believe
it was mostly faded Territory guys and a couple of up and comers, including
a young JBL Wow. I just ttally do remember JBL working CWA, but
I didn't know there was an incident that they were trying to distract attention from
Rob Wright's dearest co chairs. Inspired by your masterful and media analysis of the
Funker's career, I decided to journey from my home in London to the ancestral
home of the Funk family Germany. We inspire road trips, Boss. I
love that. I like that well, I'm a fan, Whilst I have
no idea if the beautiful city of Colne has any specific link to Adam Funk
and his Teutonic forefathers. I took my wife, father and daughter there for
the family holiday. They thought it was because of the fabulous architecture of fast
In history and rich culture. Little did they know I had a devious little
mission. I was going to k fae the shit out of my family.
Brother. Despite the copious girthy quantities of pork and local beer that were consumed
each evening, when morning came, breakfast was required. So each morning I
led my unsuspecting family to the venue pictured below, the Funk House. Yes,
Jaus, I can report that the coffee was excellent. I can report
the service was brilliant. I can report that the delicious Frustuuk was as pleasingly
filling as a thorough anal pounding from your virile selves. Finally, and most
gloriously, I can report that, despite my assertions at having done research,
my clueless family had no idea that I had selected the venue solely upon its
name in honor of the Funker, And it made breakfast all the sweeter being
those Jibbroni marks in the dark. Thanks for ten years of prolapsed privilege each
Varns terry Son Rob that's doing lapsed work in the community right there, mm
hmm, bringing the family along for the ride. Our good friend Scott Michael
writes my friends to try and convince me to watch strangle Mania. That's the
ICP tape with aforementioned death matches on it. Oh yes, way back in
the day. But I fought them on it for as long as I could,
since I absolutely could not stand ICP. Then one day I gave in
during a sleepover. That was my first exposure to FMW. It was also
my first time seeing Jack and Funk together Cactus Jack. That is long story
short. I ended up buying both VHS tapes and made my mom watch them.
With me, just so I could be like, see this stuff is
real. What a sad moment in any wrestling fan's life. Ah, when
you're trying to convince somebody you know it's never works out. You always seem
more pathetic by the end. Boy, was I an idiot? He writes.
I still own those tapes. I know they're on YouTube now. I
used to imagine that if I ever won the Hopper, one of those strangle
manias would be in my top three choices, just to hear how much of
the commentary Jack would actually repeat. That's interesting. I'm sure you look forward
to that, right boss. Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait.
That's what I've always wanted. Jerome R. That's when we started a
LAPS fan. That's exactly what I was like, hoping we get into YEP
death match footage ic Yes, attacking each other with glass in nineteen ninety five.
Fuck Jerome Rights. It's fitting you discussed it's a wonderful life during this
journey because Funk is the George Bailey of wrestling, with all the wrestling careers
he influenced. That's very true that Terry walking around a marella, walking around
all the territories as a ghost, observing a world in which he didn't exist,
and how dark it would be. Robert writes, I remember listening to
Mixed Letter to Terry at the time and being upset in the way you feel
when a celebrity dies. But listening this time after that lapse treatment felt like
I was listening to the eulogy of a cherished loved one. We aren't a
lot about that. Yes, lapsed Funk people kind of felt like Terry,
I don't know, filled a role of someone in their person, an old
family. You know that they felt akin to Yep when riding the wave of
Funk's life and death, And I don't know. I found that really interesting.
It's something we haven't heard in other journeys, and of course they all
end in death, although the Hogan one didn't, I guess, but yet
the Hogan one's an ongoing journey. But listening this time after that lapse treatment,
it felt like I was listening to the ulo Jiba cherish loved one.
We love you, Funker, long may you run. Chocolate equals detriment rights.
I want ahead and meant things sincerely, sleeper line by The Boss I
want ahead and meant things sincerely. I want to head and meant things sincerely
and serious about that and eating poon tang. We just did it before.
But Paul makes a great point. Why did it take nearly four months into
the journey to hear I want a headlock to get called? We just did
it again earlier, like it was the first time we said it. Are
you on this? Uh? This these toys that got sent to the PO
box, I'm I'm I'm checking it tomorrow. Good. That's a that's gonna
make u this gentle gun quight happen. I'm very disappointed that I missed that
I missed. Uh, you know, Mattel retros. Apparently that makes me
very sad. If you send us something, do try to stay on us
via email, yep, because we don't always get notified that there's something in
the PEO box, and we don't always you know, expect to check.
I try to check, you know, at least once a week, but
it doesn't always happen, depending on life. And apparently they get really impatient
over there. That's weird. I've never heard of that before. That's bullshit.
Fucking leave my packages, No, no, they're mine, not that
big. Leave leave my fucking toys alone. You can sound like somebody's sending
me a refrigerator. For Christ's sakes, You've got the room if you don't,
that's right. But what what's coming your way is the the Mattel two
pack of Terry Funk and Hulk Hogan and the white very exciting. Sure,
yep yep Funk with the branding iron. It's it's a wonderful piece and it
couldn't be more appropriate for the lapsed Funk. Zach writes, is Terry Funk
the Forest Gump of pro wrestling? Wow? Yes, I've thought about that
one after he wrote that, Yes, he absolutely is visiting those different eras
as Forrest Gump does finding himself sort of like a prominent yet somehow background character
in moments of great historical weight and just kind of trapesing out of the frame
after the moment is over, not sticking around to be part of the aftermath
of historic moments, but moving on to the next one and the next one
and stumbling into them almost but being special enough that he finds himself in a
position to stumble into those moments. Yes, Terry Funk is absolutely the forced
Gump of professional wrestling, and thanks for the analogy because it's handy. Paul
writes, I'm sure I've heard the story before, but Jack's Shroudnder's dad changed
how Charlie's story got me. Oh yeah, this is one my dad came
out of the box on raw. Oh if it's the best fucking thing ever.
I love that. What a kid thing to think. I remember how
devastated I was to find out the Hulkstore wasn't my dad's close personal friend.
I don't think he ever told me he was. I just assumed, of
course, you assume all adults are like friends. Oh man, you know
all adults know each other things you tell yourself as a kid. I remember
just looking out my back window and just to hit a big ass tree in
the yard, thinking like, when my dad comes home, I'm gonna have
him pick me up and put me on the top of that tree. Bus.
This tree is like fifty feet tall. It's just my mind is so
underdeveloped that I just, you know, I can't appreciate how physically impossible that
actually. Oh yeah, of course so weird. Yeah, where do I
remember that? It's so it's so funny that it's all it's all, Yeah,
David writes, there are simply no occasion where lapsed Durrance Funk Junior should
address his brother as anything other than Terry Funk. I think you've scared that.
Hey, hey, Terry Funk, I am Yeah. I just wanted
to say that. You know, you've been a brother of mine for a
long time. Yeah, pretty much my whole life, Dorry. Oh yeah,
yeah, Dunk. You know I've been your brother. You know I've
been your brother my whole life. Yeah. Yeah. But you know,
I feel like at this time it's time for for both of us to move
to a different house. Really, I think it's time for both of us
to move on. It's just, you know, it's not really a relationship
in that way, Dory. When your brothers, it's not really you know,
we can break up. I don't. I don't. I don't mean
to be a you know, to to really hurt your feelings in any way
here they're Dunk. But you know, I'm just gonna go ahead and tell
you the truth that we're brothers. We can't kind of end this relationship.
It's always going to be there. You know that everyone's allowed their own opinion,
Terry Funk. But I appreciate your opinion that this is something that may
not go away. But I'm letting you know how I feel. And and
there the you know the thing is, I just I think I want to
walk in a direction that allows me to swim. Wow, so you're headed
for the ocean. Then are you going to go to the Are you going
to to Galveston Bay? You're going to go to the you know the Well,
I don't understand you're going to go to the Rio Grande. What what's
your plan? Well, you know, I haven't thought that far ahead.
I uh, I just I just you know, Terry Funk, you've been
a brother for a good for a good number of years and like a brother
to me. Terry Funk, you've been like a brother to me. I
am your brother. Yeah, you've been like one to me. No,
don't, I'm your brother, like we're. First thing he says, was
you've been a brother day for many years. I just don't want that to
get lost either way. I just think that the time has come for me
to drive a car off a cliff. And haven't you already done that?
To get out of dropping the bell to Brisco? I thought I thought you
did that Pale. I thought you went there and you thought you already done,
gone ahead and did that. Well, maybe I have. But you
know, the memory is a thing that not many people have. And the
thing is that I remember, they don't have it, so it really fucks
things up. And Terry, I'm here to tell you. I mean,
that's a good point, but I guess what I'm here to really tell you
is, Terry, I'm going Terry Funk, I'm going to do it again.
I'm gonna do it again, Terry, Terry Funk, I'm gonna do
it again, Terry Funk. I plan on doing things multiple times in this
life time. And then the next one is driving a car off a cliff
and just seeing what the end result is going to be. As soon as
he's airborne off the edge of the cliff, you just hear him go.
Oh, he plunges, oh tighty feet. Oh. I forgot about this
part story say, as a rounding third on the journey, the comment started
pouring in. Of course, Sam Wright, So I went ahead and really
enjoyed this final chapter and possibly the last Maverick we'll ever see in the wrestling
bizm cheers, gents, Nick writes, don't tell Hogan, but I'm working
on unionizing my workplace, and it's an up and down process. This morning
I heard Terry Funk talking to the trainees as we played in the final episode
there when he did that seminar in twenty thirteen, and the upshot of it
being raise everyone up, to raise up the business in the art itself,
and it's a little reminder of what we're working four here. I'm gonna go
ahead and salute the funker man. Oh if the Lap's fun Funk inspiring people
today could inspire the unionization of a workplace. How about that, Zach.
That's amazing. Zach writes thing to memorialize the journey, we need a shirt
TLF logo shown like it was stamped as a brand from a branding iron with
a message below, we're on the back. We did it our way because
we love it that way. I like that. That's very true. It's
very true. Sam, his intrepid self, dug into the archives a bit.
One thing we didn't touch on was Dory and Terry's Funk Dory and Terry's
feud with Dynamite and British Bulldog. Ooh, this was all Japan, mostly
eighty six or so, and they did cross paths in the WWF as well
and had some matches, but it really wasn't There wasn't really like a standout
match that made sense to build a beat around during the show. But fortunately
for us, Sam did the work of cracking open Pure Dynamite the Dynamite Kids
Revolutionary Book and found some great Terry Funk stories in there, so we might
as well convey them in this Last Breath of Funkage. For the first few
months we were with the WWF because of Japan, it was on a semi
regular basis, Dynamite writes, but that didn't stop us having some great matches
when the right opponents came along, which was what happened when Terry and Dorriyfunk
Junior turned up in the WWF. Terry hadn't changed. He still looked a
fool around. We had to catch a plane early one morning to the next
venue. Terry got on and he was dragging his rucksack behind him and looked
as if it weighed a ton because he was heaving on the strap. His
face was going purple, and all the muscles and sinews on his arms were
sticking out. So one of the stewardess has walked by and said, can
I help you? Terry was panting and out of breath, but he said
no, I'll be okay. He finally got the bag to a seat and
he started trying to lift it into the luggage compartment. He was struggling again,
so the stewardess said, come on, let me help you. She
bent down, lifted it up and nearly fell over backwards because it was empty,
there was nothing in it. Yeah, he used to do that too
with Dorry. He'd get on a plane, he would act like, you
know, he didn't know who Dorry was, and he would he'd load the
faux heavy luggage into the overhead and then he'd let it drop on a Dory's
head and knock a two pay off of Dory's head, because Dorry would wear
a two pey onto the plane, just a plate to play a joke,
and all the other passengers Dory was in on it. But the joke was
like Terry would knock the two pay loose and then they'd all basically sit down
and wait to see if anybody mentioned it to Dorry, and of course no
one would, and it would be endlessly hilarious so that's the funker, but
occasionally Dynamite writes the joke was on Terry. We were in Pittsburgh one night
having a drink in the hotel after the match. Got to about two am,
and although we had an early plane to catch the next day, Terry
said, oh, come on, we'll have one more. So I got
up and said it's okay, I'll get this. What do you want?
Thanks, Dino? He called him Dino. He called him, of course
he did. He would have called him Guyo if not for the surgery.
By the way, I'll have a brandy. While he wasn't looking, I
slipped a yellow jacket Speed how cool dynamite drugs another one Speed which a lot
of wrestler I used to take Keith themselves awake into his brandy. I handed
him his drink and said, cheers, Terry, Cheers Dino. I didn't
see Terry again. Just before the match the next day, I walked into
the dressing room and there was Terry sat in the bench with his head down.
He looked up at me. He looked bloody awful and said, dinoh,
don't do that again. What don't do what Terry? What are you
talking about? He said, I've not been asleep. I said, Terry,
I'm being serious, what are you talking about. I think he believed
me in the end, but anyway, Terry, Yeah, it was me
our last match with the Functions in Buffalo, New York. Terry was having
trouble with his knees and right after the match he said to his brother Dorry,
tell Dinoh, I'm going home. Dorry said, you can't go home.
We've got another four weeks yet. But Terry didn't care. He left,
which I didn't blame him for. He never called Vince, never gave
them any notice, and buggered off, buggered off right, buggered off.
Summer of eighty four, as part of the media blackout, our first match
was filmed but never shown on TV, which is a shame because it was
a great match. This is in all Japan, myself and Davy against Terry
and Dorry in the correct won Hall in Tokyo and ended in a double count
out with me and Terry outside the ring. I was trying to crawl back
in, but Terry kept hold him my leg and wouldn't let me in.
His wrestlers, The Funks were fantastic and in my opinion, probably had the
greatest wrestling brains in the ring. That was the first time I'd met Terry
Funk in the hotel in Tokyo. I can't remember the name of the hotel,
but it was the same one that all the wrestlers got kicked out of
a few years later because somebody I don't know who made a mess of somebody's
bed. I didn't know Terry, although i'd heard about his rep and he
didn't know me. But I can remember the first words he ever said to
me, Dynamite, I think I've got a job for you. Can you
speak Russian? Straight away? I said, yes, nostrovia. He said,
okay, I think you've got the job. Then he started telling me
how he was very good friend of Sylvester Stallone, who at the time was
making another Rocky film, Rocky five four with delf lungren Stallone was looking for
somebody who could speak Russian, and he wants somebody who can. Box said
Terry, I think you're the man. I said, okay, when is
it in a few months, Dyna might I'll let you know. Six months
later the film came out at the cinema and there and the next time I
saw him, I said, Terry, what happened? How come I didn't
get the part with Sylvester Stallone? He said, well, Dyno, he
always called me Dyno. There's been a bit of a mistake. What do
you mean, Terry, a mistake too short? We got some great laughs
over the years. He just lied to about putting in a word. You
know, Donald, I never heard back from you, but you wanted to
do it? I told you, yes, Was there something else I was
supposed to? Well, you know these things have so yes, what he
wasn't counting on that. I do like the idea that Terry Funk would like
tell everybody that he was going to put a word in but sly for them,
of course, just as a rib. But he no. I mean
it was said that Terry Funk tried to get Cary von Eric the part right.
Yeah, of uh do ago? I wonder if that was a rib
too, Yeah, might have been. We had some great laughs over the
years Datamite rights, mainly because Terry was always messing about and acting looney,
and he is one of the greatest bresslers I've ever been in the ring.
With all the years I wrestled, I took pride and giving every single opponent
a good match, didn't matter how pathetic or useless they were. I never
let anybody look bad. Never. But you know what, Terry was better
at it than me. He took the weakest chops and the worst clothes lines.
Then he'd bounced around the ring, flop on his back like a fish
out of the water. He would wrestle a broomstick and make it look like
a million dollars. That's how good he was. I remember match he had
with the Native American Steve gator Wolf. He was a waste of time,
always bullshitting about how great he was, and then just before the match he
gets so nervous he couldn't speak against Terry, Funky got in the ring and
froze. He couldn't move, and when he finally managed a feeble tomahawk chob,
Terry looked as if he'd been hit with a sledgehammer. He was fantastic,
and he was a terrible joker, nearly as bad as me. He
pulled that Sylvester Stallone trick on another good friend of mine, dangerous Danny Spivey.
Terry had been telling him for weeks that Stallone was looking for a boxer
to play the part of the Great White Hope in a new film, and
Danny was up for it. We were in Houston, Texas, where we
had a match that night, and Terry said to Danny, I've just got
a call from Sly that film parts come up and he wants to see you
right away. He's sending his jet to put you up at the airport.
So Danny rushed off to the airport and sure enough there was Sly's lear Jet
waiting to fly into Los Angeles. Bear in mind, he had to get
back to Houston to wrestle a match that night. He flew to California,
got a cab to the film studio in Hollywood, and straight to Sly's office.
The only trouble was Sly wasn't there. He was away in Vietnam making
another film. Well you can imagine what Danny felt like a complete prick.
So he took a cab back to the airport, probably planning what he was
going to do to Terry Funk when he got ahold of him. Except when
he got there, the lear jet had gone. Terry had only booked it
for a one way flight. Brother. I mean that that's a pretty cruel
rib but it's fucking awesome. Yes, yes, that's Terry. Finally,
the Funk brothers, Terry and Dorry Junior were there as well. Dynamite recalls
we'd had some great times with them during our first run with All Japan.
I remember one night when we've been drinking in Tokyo, myself, Terry Funk,
and Harley Race, and when it got late, we went back to
my hotel room and started in the mini bar. All of a sudden,
for no apparent reason, Terry started smashing my room up. He broke the
bed, the lamp shades, he more or less wrecked everything. I said,
I'm not being funny, Terry, but what are you doing? He
stopped, looked around at the mess and said, don't worry, Dino.
We'll go down to the front desk and report this. And we did.
I don't know, I know you're not being funny, but I'm being funny,
ha ha, and we did. Terry walked straight up to the receptionist
and reported the damage. Then he said to her, and I know who's
done it. I saw the guy breaking the place up. The receptionists called
the police, and when they arrived, they asked Terry where this man who
had allegedly caused all the damage was Terry said, he's in room five oh
nine. Ah, but who's room that is? They went up such a
fucking he's such a fucking like Ah. I at least went up to room
five oh nine, knocked on the door. It opened and it was Dorry,
Terry's own brother. He was half asleep and had absolutely no idea what
was going on? Those half what what did I do this time? Those
two were as different as chalk and cheese. Dorry was always very serious and
straightforward. Terry was like a wild man. But his brothers, they were
close. Terry used to talk a lot about the old days when he and
Dorry Junior took over their dad's promotion in Emerald of Texas after he died.
Business was down and Terry was trying to think up new ways to bring more
people in. He got on the microphone one night and said, ladies and
gentlemen, next week, we have a surprise for you. I'm gonna wrestle
Terrible Ted the Grizzly Bear, and you're gonna imagine that. People were quite
excited by the idea, but when they started, let a commission found out
they objected. They told Terry there was no way he could wrestle a grizzly
bear in that building. Well, Terry thought this, and the following week
he went to collect Terrible Ted just as he had planned, and picked him
up in his brother Dorri's brand new Cadillac. On the way back, he
brought a can of white paint and painted Terrible Ted from head to foot.
He got white paint all over Dorry's new car, and then drove to the
arena. Terry gun on the microphone and said, ladies and gentlemen, I'm
afraid Terrible Ted couldn't make it, but don't worry. I've managed to get
a replacement. It's Snowy, the polar Bear. Oh my god. All
those years later, Terry hadn't changed one bit. He was still a little
bit crazy, just like the traffic in Tokyo the nighttime. We were all
standing outside the hotel one night, the Bulldogs, Terry, Gordy, Terry
Funk and a few others. We'd all had a few beers. All of
a sudden, Terry Funk shouted, watched this, and he threw himself onto
the bonnet of a passing car as it stopped he rolled off and pretended he
was dead with his arms stretched out wide. Somebody called the police, but
even when they arrived, to just lay there a complete havoc all around him,
not moving. There was nothing wrong with him, but for a few
minutes he had everybody convinced that he was dead. Oh but the funnies thing
I remember about Terry Funk was the day I walked into his hotel room to
check if he was awake. The coach was on UH was waiting to leave
for the next destination. All the wrestlers were on board, but Terry hadn't
shown it. I went back up to his hotel room, saw that the
door wasn't locked and pushed it open. There was Terry lying on the floor,
fully clothed and covered in sick. His stetson was all crushed. He
had one boot on and one barefoot propped up on the bed. I leaned
over him and said, Terry, what happened. The former NWA World champion
looked up at me. His eyes were all bloodshot and he could hardly open
them, and he said, dinoh, there's only one way to become a
champagne. I said, what's that, Terry? He said, you've got
to be a total fuck up. Yes, it's been quite a few years
since I last spoke to Terry, Dynamite writes, and that was one Christmas.
I was in Calgary. I called his house in Texas. When he
answered, I said, hello, Terry, it's only Dynamite calling to wish
you happy Christmas. Terry said, oh, dinoh, You've just ruined my
fucking Christmas. The Funker. The Funker is seen through the eyes of Dynamite.
Paul writes, after this journey, you can consider me a funk gite.
There we go. D X three writes, idiots are necessary in our
business. TLFX we are we are necessary idiots. Yes, as a line
in fact that Terry Funk himself uttered, Haystacks rights usually after completing a t
left journey, I feel like I've gained something after coming to the end of
Lapsed Funk, though, I feel like I've lost something and it hurts.
The Lapsed Funk was a worthy tribute to a deserving wrestler, now bound in
leather and put up on top of the bookshelf for preservation and admiration. Thank
you, Coach Chairman, and thank you Funker. Think that's exactly correct.
Yep, well right, I just finished this episode and I want to thank
the coach chairman and Jack's farewell to Terry. To not get choked up to
me feels like an impossibility, Christopher. A standing ovation doesn't seem like enough
for both Funk and the co chairs. But I want ahead it and stood
up and gave thanks. This is my favorite journey. Wow, heel.
I think it'll be tough to cover someone at this length and still come away
with a positive impression of them. That's right, boss. I mean there's
nobody we can dissect like this and I'd end up with you know, eighty
percent fucking court files to deal with, of course. I mean that's yeah,
Paul, that's to be expected, Paul writes. Googling Terry Funk,
arm XPW brought up a message board thread Circle twenty oh two talking about his
injury. The common feeling was does Funk really need money? That bad Terry
lives wrestling, but this is not wrestling, and that the injury was Douglas's
fault, and that Shane is the biggest cry baby ever to appear on televised
wrestling and should get used to performing in bingle Hall's the rest of his career.
So I guess, I guess it's pretty charged rhetoric around that Terry Funk
cutting his arm open moment in XPW. I guess christ rights fully verse Funk
false cut anywhere that we saw on Raw that episode that was to get corporate
dude Love a title match with Austin it over the edge, but only a
fully destroyed Terry in the matches instructed by Vince. So I think we missed
a little bit of that backstory when we're commenting on it. Steve Writ's co
chairs. For the majority of last month, I was suffering a mental health
breakdown because of anxiety, depression and loneliness. Well, I waited for the
medication that sorted it to kick in. The only thing that was my lifeline
that made me feel nearly normal was the lapsed Funk. I owe the two
of you and the Funker a belated thank you. Well hmm, you're welcome,
Haul Cogin. It took the entire journey, but finally we got to
hear the Funker go ahead and come that he did, Zach, no question
about that, thank you, Zach. Terry Funk is the bumblebee of wrestling,
except instead of he shouldn't be able to fly based on his body wings,
he shouldn't be able to walk with his knees and walking through. Nick
writes, my only regret from this whole journey is that Jack didn't hear the
Boss when he told him to pause it. After Shane Douglas said, where
did them taters come from? Do you remember that you piped up? Yes?
What did you want to say? If you remember? No, I
think it might I don't remember what I wanted to say, but uh,
I feel like it might have been just related to the fact that he said
that. I'm sure it was. This is him recollecting that XPW match.
Funk starts hitting him hard with a TV camera and throwing him extra hard into
a post and like really seeming trying to fuck him up. I think I
think I think saying where coming from? Right right? Taters? The fact
that he's calling though the potato you know taters like what a boo business,
Wendy's. Where do you think they're coming from? Shane? Yeah, coming
from Terry Funk. I think John puts it well. I started out not
caring about Terry Funk. Now I only care about Terry Funk. That's right,
That's what this is all about. Haul Cogan asks the question. At
the beginning of the Journey, I was excited because while I always respected the
Funker and had seen key matches and promos, most of his greatest moments came
before my time or happening in promotions I didn't watch. Now at the end,
I'm prepared to go ahead and say Terry Funk is the greatest to ever
do it, and it isn't close. There's been a lot of talk recently
from a son of an eggsucking dog about finishing stories. How's that working out,
by the way, Well, perhaps it's work great. He went ahead
and took inspiration from the wrong guy. You want to finish your story,
do it the Terry Funk way because I love it that way. And it
goes without saying fucking Bravo. Co chairman Hall Cochin writes, how does it
feel to never miss? Well? Thank you, Haul, and it feels
fucking great. It feels right. Andrew writes, incredible Journey fits in very
well as a comparison companion rather to World Class in a WA two and covering
different areas of wrestling during that time period. I think one day a mid
South journey would be a ton of fun. Mmm. They can never get
enough. They always awe another journey, and then they always have suggestion.
They always want something more promised. Lamb heard something he likes. He writes,
tlll tll tll can't wait for the lapse to Lanny. That's what we
need, are you Lanny Journey? I don't think you're You're necessarily up to
it, Boss. A book of poetry, a book of shooting the half h