380 | From Playing Alone to Playing Together: Understanding the Shift in CCPT

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are going to dive into

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independent or individual play

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versus collaborative play

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in sessions.

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I've been getting questions about this pretty regularly

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and figured it would be helpful to just talk about it.

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So,

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we're going to do that.

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Wanted to give you all a little teaser,

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a little

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precursor to what's coming.

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In 2026,

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as I mentioned at the start of the year,

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there are a lot of really exciting things happening

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and I wanted to make you all aware

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what is to come.

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I don't have specificity and dates yet,

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but we are planning a live

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podcast event.

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In the next couple of months,

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we are planning an event in Indiana.

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In the late summer,

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we are planning an event in Jersey in the fall.

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So,

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lots of things going on.

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So,

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make

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plans.

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I mean,

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tentative ones,

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I suppose.

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I'll give you dates as soon as I have them.

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But

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live podcast event.

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That will be probably in May,

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and then we think late July,

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early August for Indiana,

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and then

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October for New Jersey.

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So,

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come hang out with me.

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I would love to have you.

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All right.

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Oh,

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also,

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speaking of hanging out with me,

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if you want to hang out with me virtually,

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you can always join the CCPT Collective.

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We

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do 2 live calls a week

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and you can ask questions and we can talk about cases and kids.

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And then there's also the community forum and

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discussion and resources and all of that.

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So,

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the Collective has just become a hub of all things CCPT internationally

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and we would love to have you and there's a free trial.

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So,

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if you are interested,

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ccptcollective.com

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and

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I could get to know you and see your face and

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put your name with your face and all of those things,

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which is always fun.

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OK.

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So,

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back to independent versus collaborative play.

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I want

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to make

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a couple of things known.

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I think that,

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especially on coaching,

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we talk about this,

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but

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I'm not sure that I spend a lot of time discussing this just in general,

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and I think this is really powerful.

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Whenever we notice

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that a child comes in and plays

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independently and consistently does individual play,

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there's a reason for that.

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So early on in the process,

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we anticipate that a child will play independently.

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They still are going through initiation.

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They are still trying to figure out what this is all about.

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They don't have a relationship with us yet.

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They haven't trusted us yet,

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built a bond,

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so on and so forth.

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So

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what we often anticipate is the child will play independently.

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Especially at the beginning

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What that signifies is the child is.

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Comfortable playing alone

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might include you at some point,

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does not have to.

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I want to make that very clear as well.

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A child can play independently

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throughout the entirety of treatment.

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You do not ever need to be invited in.

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So it's not like we wait for that,

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but we understand that especially at the beginning,

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kids are likely to play independently,

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so they're comfortable playing alone.

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They're building trust and

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connection.

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Or they're not ready to dive deeply yet

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and they're doing safe play.

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What's fascinating

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is there will be a turn

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where a child will start to include you,

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but there are

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degrees

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of collaborative play.

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In other words,

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if a child has been playing independently for a while.

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And all of a sudden,

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they

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ask you to get the ball for them.

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That

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rolled behind your chair.

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They haven't invited you into their play yet.

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If they're playing with the ball,

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they're not saying,

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Hey,

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throw the ball with me,

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but they are including you

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on the periphery of what they're doing.

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That is a shift.

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And one of the most important things we can do in sessions,

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related aside,

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is

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we should be watching for shifts.

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What are the meaningful shifts that are taking

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place and what does that likely indicate?

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So child all of a sudden says,

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hey,

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will you grab that for me?

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They've asked you to be a part in a small way of what they're doing.

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That's the first stage.

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Then sometimes a child will

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include you in a more meaningful way,

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still not play yet though.

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So the child might say,

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count how many times I can.

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Jump rope in a row.

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And so they are jumping,

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you are not,

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but they want you to keep track.

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So there's another level or layer,

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if you will.

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Sometimes a child

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will.

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Have you

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involved in the play.

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But not

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in

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a specific collaborative way.

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For example,

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you're each taking turns trying to

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shoot the bull's eye on the target.

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So that's parallel collaborative play

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where you are shooting,

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child is shooting,

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yet

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it's not really together,

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it's kind of rivalrous.

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There's a competition going on,

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but you are in fact invited in.

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Then 4th level

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is

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you are asked to play a specific character or figure or role in the child's play.

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So child gets family

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characters

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and says,

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Here,

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you be the girl and the mom,

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and I'll be the dad and the boy.

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So now you are in fact playing collaboratively,

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but you have a specific character role.

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You are acting out mom and and sister.

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And

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then the final level

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is

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You are involved collaboratively,

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but you are

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the play.

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In other words,

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child is the cop,

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you are the robber.

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You each are in first person

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play roles

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where you are each playing your own part.

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Versus with characters,

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for example,

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where it's third person.

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So,

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I'm hopeful that you all are seeing kind

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of how these collaborative play levels unfold.

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And what

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does it mean the first time a child invites you in?

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Well,

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lots of things.

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It's one of the most significant moments.

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When a child invites you in for the first time

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at any level,

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it signifies that the child sees you as an ally.

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The child believes that you

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are in this with them.

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In other words,

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we're in this together,

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we're on this journey together.

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And it signifies trust.

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Because I'm willing and able to invite you in

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and have you be a part of this,

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and I can trust that

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we're gonna do this.

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So the very first time a child invites you in to do anything collaborative,

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that's a big deal.

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And then obviously,

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as the child progresses through layers,

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let me be clear though,

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the child does not have to go through all five,

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the child does not have to go through them in order.

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I want to make it clear,

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these are.

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Areas of collaborative play,

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but they're not meant to be in

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chronological order and or in succession.

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So sometimes a child will

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jump straight to,

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you're the cop and he's the robber.

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But

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I hope that you can see that there are degrees

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of collaborative play.

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And what that means is

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we are invited in.

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We are embraced as part of play.

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And the child is allowing us

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to be a small part

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of their therapeutic journey.

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What a gift that is.

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It's not required.

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There should be no expectation that we get invited in

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because I know how it goes.

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I talked to way too many CCPTs.

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All of a sudden,

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we're

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26 sessions in

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and a CCPT says,

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and they,

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they've never once included me in anything.

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They just play by themselves the whole time.

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As if that's inherently a problem.

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If the child chooses to play by him or herself the entire time,

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that's what the child needs.

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That's the child's journey,

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we don't have to be included,

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but when we are,

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when a kid needs and wants us involved.

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What a gift that is,

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that we're given

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that a child says,

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I have a relationship with you,

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I trust you.

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I know that you're my ally,

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and I want you to be involved in this.

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There's something so special about that.

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So these are all things we should be noting.

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Paying attention to observing as they're unfolding in sessions,

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we're documenting these as they're taking place.

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And these are things that we share with parents

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to indicate progress.

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This is something that a parent would want to know

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that the child is at a point where we're seeing changes in the type of play,

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and we are involved in different capacities.

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That's how we celebrate progress when we sit down in parent consults.

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We identify shifts like that.

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And I got invited into the play for the first time.

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That's a really meaningful moment.

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That means that

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your child fully trusts me

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and wants to include me in the process.

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Notice there's no breach of confidentiality there,

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but we're celebrating how significant that moment is

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and why.

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Those are the kinds of things that parents are

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encouraged by and that they want to hear.

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So,

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I hope that that kind of makes sense

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of independent versus collaborative play.

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It's important to recognize

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the differences

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and what those changes look like so that we can be attuned in the moment

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to what's going on and recognize it.

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So,

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we're kind of

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Party on the inside,

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calm on the outside.

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Like,

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oh yes,

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I'm finally getting invited in.

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This is exciting,

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but we don't act like that at all.

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That's just going on inside of us.

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All right,

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I love y'all.

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I hope you have a great week.

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Thanks for hanging out with me.

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We'll talk again soon.

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Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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For more episodes and resources,

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please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.