How to Master Your Emotions Every Day!

[SPEAKER_00]: grow squad.
[SPEAKER_00]: How are you doing this week?
[SPEAKER_00]: Hope you're doing well.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been seven days since the last episode dropped and I hope that during the last week the last seven days life has been treating you well between you fair and most importantly I hope that you've been taking care of you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been on this thing lately where
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't, I can no longer depend on people to take care of me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I gotta take care of me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I hope Grow Squad that you've been taking care of you, hope that you're doing well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's pray, and let's get into a God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for this time together.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for our family, our community.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: We pray now that you bless our conversation today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Give us guidance.
[SPEAKER_00]: Give us hope.
[SPEAKER_00]: Give us insight.
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Today,
[SPEAKER_00]: want to talk a little bit about our emotions.
[SPEAKER_00]: Kind of a different space for me, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because typically, I use to keep my emotions high, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And with these podcasts episodes, we're usually high energy, we're usually high octane, we're usually amped up, but today I want to talk a little bit about
[SPEAKER_00]: the power of mastering your emotions.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as much as I'm talking to you, as you're listening, as you're watching, as much as I'm speaking to you, trust me on this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm speaking to myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: Has anybody ever felt like you've been out of control?
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever felt that way?
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever felt like your emotions were
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to say ruining your day, but I said, have you ever had any motion that was like a cloud over your day?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: That emotion couldn't be sadness.
[SPEAKER_00]: It could be anger.
[SPEAKER_00]: It could be frustrating.
[SPEAKER_00]: But something happened that caused you to be in an emotional state that you felt you no longer were in control.
[SPEAKER_00]: That emotion was in control.
[SPEAKER_00]: That emotion was telling you what to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: That emotion was dictating how you respond.
[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the things that happens in life is, if we don't master our emotions, our emotions will master us.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a bar right there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't master your emotions, your emotions will master you.
[SPEAKER_00]: So one of the things I often think about
[SPEAKER_00]: And there are several ways that you could, as they say, down south.
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, I just had an awesome time with my family, down south.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as I heard some of the oak tree shades, it all came back to me because sometimes you move away or you do certain things and you get away from your home base, you forget about some of the nice, cliches and sayings.
[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the things that I heard again this weekend and I'm going to use it again on our podcast is there's more than one way to skin a cat.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right when I was young, my grandmother used to say that, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't skin cats, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even like cats like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I don't dislike cats.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would never harm a cat for all of my animal lovers.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would never harm a cat, but I'm saying me cats and I don't have a good history.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all I'm saying.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have a good history with cats, cats don't like me and in return I avoid cats as much as I can.
[SPEAKER_00]: But as I am thinking about that old saying,
[SPEAKER_00]: A finally come to an understanding of what it means.
[SPEAKER_00]: It simply means that, hey, just because one person does a certain job one way, doesn't mean that you have to do the job the same way, as long as the job gets complete.
[SPEAKER_00]: In other words, oftentimes when I'm driving down the street, driving down the freeway, driving down the road, my wife, because she knows the area better than me, or she's been around the area longer than me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me say it that way.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's been around the area longer than me.
[SPEAKER_00]: The way that she goes from point A to point B is ingrained in her mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the only way in her mind that you can get from point A to point B. And sometimes I'm like, well, no, I'm still getting a point B from point A, but I found a different route.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's the route that I take or here's the route that I'm comfortable with.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's the, here's the goal.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what we have to always agree on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that our,
[SPEAKER_00]: Both of us have the same desire to get from here to there.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so oftentimes in life when we think about our emotions, people sometimes have a certain way of going about mastering their emotions.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have a certain way of going about ensuring that they don't allow their emotions to get the best of them throughout the course of any given day.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes you've got to find your own path.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you've got to take tools from different places, different people from your own experiences.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: Here is how I'm going to tackle this if this emotion raises its head in my life today or tomorrow next week.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here is how I handle it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so today, I want to offer you three ways to kind of master your emotions.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the first way that I want to offer you even right now is you've got to have.
[SPEAKER_00]: You must have its imperative.
[SPEAKER_00]: that you have emotional awareness.
[SPEAKER_00]: It blows my mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: When oftentimes you see people that you maybe deal with, maybe you know them day in and day out.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're like on part with them in terms of conversation.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know their ends and outs.
[SPEAKER_00]: And have you ever had a conversation with someone that you know real well and you said to them what's wrong?
[SPEAKER_00]: You ask them is everything okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they never told you that something was wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: They never told you that something was not okay, but by their demeanor.
[SPEAKER_00]: by their response, by their attitude, you knew something wasn't right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, this happened to many of us, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: If you've been around long enough, there's happened to you before.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you've said something to someone based on how you know they are regularly, how you know that they are most days, and today you say something's off.
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever had them deny that something's off?
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever yourself had someone encounter you experience you and they experience you often.
[SPEAKER_00]: They know who you are.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have conversations with you multiple times per week and they picked up on something and you were in a state of denial.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been there.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been there before, where someone has picked up that, hey, Eugene, something's off.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you talking so sharply?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you responding so sharply?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I getting this kind of, and I said, nothing's wrong with me?
[SPEAKER_00]: And somebody has said, Eugene, you have an attitude and I respond with the attitude and I deny, did I have an attitude or I deny that something's wrong?
[SPEAKER_00]: Here is the first sign that I don't have a healthy dose of emotional awareness.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not being real, I'm not being true, I'm not being authentic, I'm not taking a dose of reality to understand the fact that, hey, I'm in an emotional state that's impacting other people negatively and if I really care about them, I would check myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: But most people, either choose not to be emotionally aware,
[SPEAKER_00]: or they don't care how their emotional state impacts others.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now both are dangerous, in my opinion, one is more dangerous than the other.
[SPEAKER_00]: If in fact, I mean, I mean, an emotional state, I'm in a particular state frame of mind, a frame of mind, and I don't, I'm not aware of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's scary.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need a touch of reality, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: But then if I'm aware of it,
[SPEAKER_00]: and don't care how it impacts people.
[SPEAKER_00]: In my humble opinion, that's on another level.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should care that if if I'm upset and I'm not being kind to my children.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not being kind to my wife.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not being kind to my husband.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not being kind to my spouse.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not being kind to those that love me the most and I choose to say nothing's wrong with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a dangerous place to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would encourage you to be intentional about checking your emotional state.
[SPEAKER_00]: I said to you a couple of episodes ago that, hey, one of the things that I try to do every single day, I try my best to look in the mirror and check myself before I face the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, let me back up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I look in the mirror and I try to check myself before I face my family.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the most important.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because, no, man, you know, there's to be true.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oftentimes, the people that are closest to you experienced the worst parts of you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's be real.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oftentimes, the people that are near and dear to us, that we love, that we, that are of our bloodline, even people that we've given birth to, oftentimes, they experience the worst parts of us.
[SPEAKER_00]: and how it offered that they really deserve the best parts of us.
[SPEAKER_00]: So how do I flip that?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I address that?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I correct that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, almost like a broken record I would encourage you to be constantly aware
[SPEAKER_00]: of your emotional state.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oftentimes I offer to educators that if they are entering a classroom and they know that they're not going to be the jolly miss Johnson today.
[SPEAKER_00]: If they know they're not going to be the kind, uh, Mr. Smith today.
[SPEAKER_00]: If they know that today, they're going to have a totally different attitude.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is responsible of them to put their classroom on notice.
[SPEAKER_00]: Makes sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: If, in fact, things are going to be off today.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're dealing with someone that is that you love, that you cherish, that you are a super, duper close to, that you really care about who they are and where they are and you care about their life, you should put them on notice that, hey, something happened at work, hey, something has happened in my life, hey,
[SPEAKER_00]: Today is an off day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here is something that often happens.
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever had a date, a month, a date, and a time, they reminded you of something that was not pleasant in your life?
[SPEAKER_00]: have a buddy of mine who remembers a day that his father left their family.
[SPEAKER_00]: And every year that date comes around.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been years, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: But that date every single year he hasn't added to.
[SPEAKER_00]: Rightfully so.
[SPEAKER_00]: Every single year on that date, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: He, he, he, he is aware of the fact that, hey, I need to tell Eugene.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to tell my friends and to tell those who I communicate with on that day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, listen on on this date and this time and this this month.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to have a attitude.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, should he go get therapy?
[SPEAKER_00]: I think he should see a therapist.
[SPEAKER_00]: I encourage all of us, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: To try a best to work things out with somebody who can help us walk step by step.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he's at least emotionally aware.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's aware of the fact that at this moment, at this time,
[SPEAKER_00]: If you experience me and there's something negative that transpires, here is the reason why I'm gonna put you on notice.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I encourage people who are walking to office spaces.
[SPEAKER_00]: where you are in middle management.
[SPEAKER_00]: You walk into office spaces and you are an executive and you've had a traumatic experience the day before.
[SPEAKER_00]: You've had an argument that morning or one of your children has done something that you don't appreciate and it is impacting your emotional state.
[SPEAKER_00]: Those that you're serving, you should respect them enough to let them know what's coming.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Almost like apologizing in advance.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, listen, I'm off today.
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, here are some things that that that that you might hear from me if you say the wrong thing to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm off.
[SPEAKER_00]: And give them the opportunity if you please, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: To rid of themselves for different you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing you can do.
[SPEAKER_00]: to master your emotions every day is practice relaxation techniques.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've recently been doing a lot of research on breathing and it's funny the things you pick up.
[SPEAKER_00]: right I'm even from a child my son watches and I'm not getting paid for no ad of no sponsorship but my son watches Daniel Tiger and I love me some Daniel Tiger right Daniel Tiger even the intro music for those of you who are about my age of mid-forties early-forties whatever the case might be
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, it kind of reminds you of the, um, the jingle from Mr. Rogers neighborhood, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Then you tiger neighbor, and it may be some connection that I don't, I'm not aware of.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have a identity deep die of researching, uh, where then your terror came from.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know my son loves it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so there's one song that's on repeat.
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, it's so impactful that not only does he watch it on YouTube, but the soundtrack in the morning when he's eating.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I don't want to have him watching a screen, I'll let him listen to the songs from Daniel Tiger episodes.
[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the songs, I don't know the name of the song, but it talks about when you feel so mad, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And you, I don't know, but that's how it comes in.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you feel so mad, and then it gives you a point in the song where it says, take a deep breath and count to four.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my son will be standing in the living room.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's playing with his toys.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's trying to figure something out with regard to his toy or try to fix something on how to make something work and he'll begin to get frustrated.
[SPEAKER_00]: All I have to do is say his name.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he'll say, I know Daddy, let me take a deep breath and count to four.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's exciting about that is that although I'm not in a state of where I'm upset or I'm feeling as if I'm mad or I can't figure something out or frustrate it, but I'll practice it with him.
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, man, there may be something to this.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll take a deep breath.
[SPEAKER_00]: And how count to four, and my son will carve down, he has his own relaxation techniques, he'll calm down, and he'll get back to business, ensuring that he can think clearly because that's beyond us.
[SPEAKER_00]: When we are in a state of emotional unawareness where we're angry, we're mad, we're frustrated.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't speak for you, but I've counseled a number of people in my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've encountered hundreds of thousands of people in my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And one thing that is common amongst most is that when we are emotionally charged, we often do something and or say something that we have to go back and apologize for.
[SPEAKER_00]: When we're emotionally all over the place, if we can't reel that thing back in, quick enough, fast enough, if we can't do like Daniel Tiger, take a deep breath and count to four, oftentimes we'll find ourselves having to apologize for acting out of character, for speaking out of character, and for operating out of character.
[SPEAKER_00]: So one of the ways to address that, one of the ways to try our best to circumvent that is to practice relaxation tips, whether it be breathing, whether it be meditation, whether it be taking a walk, whether it be just telling yourself I'm going to be disciplined enough not to respond in this moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think through my response before I give the first thing that comes to mind, all of these fall under the umbrella of relaxation tips.
[SPEAKER_00]: The last thing I want to encourage you, if you're going to master emotions, not just some days, but every day.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm a firm believer in this, hence I repeated over and over again.
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to practice positive self-talk.
[SPEAKER_00]: So listen, if you know somebody who is often challenged with their emotions, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: They're often led by
[SPEAKER_00]: how they feel, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because listen, if we all are allowing our feelings to lead us every day, we would all be in a heap of trouble, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because sometimes we feel a certain way and we can't act how we feel or else we will be in some kind of trouble.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I wanna encourage you to look deeper into these particular three offerings that I gave to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so much as you find it, you find it necessary to check in with your e-motionally aware.
[SPEAKER_00]: Check in with yourself every single day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Check in with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Secondly, practice those relaxation tips and then finally,
[SPEAKER_00]: Please practice positive self-talk.
[SPEAKER_00]: You deserve it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You need it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And those that you will encounter and be around and serve every day, they need and deserve it too.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, I hope I've said something this week that will be a benefit to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope that as you move about the rest of your day, yay, the rest of this week,
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope that you understand that you can match your emotions.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to let your emotions take you here there and everywhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: Please move forward with the mindset.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have enough discipline, I have enough presence of mine to master my emotions and not let my emotions master me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't forget to like, share, subscribe, let's somebody know what's happening in the Eugene Hamilton podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: This episode was on fire, so share this out with somebody you know that needs to know the power of mastering the emotions.
[SPEAKER_00]: Be good, be great.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't forget to go, grow and glow every single day.
[SPEAKER_00]: See you next week.
[SPEAKER_00]: Peace.