172 | The Therapist's Self: Unpacking Landreth's Essential Qualities of Effective Child-Centered Play Therapists

0
00:00:00,409 --> 00:00:03,059
You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr

1
00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:08,109
Brenna Hicks. Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

2
00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:08,930
Hi, I'm Dr

3
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:10,670
Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

4
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,829
This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

5
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:15,189
a master class in child-centered play therapy

6
00:00:15,289 --> 00:00:17,540
and practical support and application for your

7
00:00:17,549 --> 00:00:19,459
work with children and their families.

8
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:24,229
In today's episode. I am reading from Innovations in Play Therapy

9
00:00:24,879 --> 00:00:27,430
issues, process and special populations

10
00:00:27,629 --> 00:00:28,739
edited by Garry

11
00:00:28,850 --> 00:00:29,049
Landreth.

12
00:00:29,940 --> 00:00:35,860
And we're going to dive into effective personality characteristics

13
00:00:36,150 --> 00:00:37,540
of play therapists

14
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:42,509
and we are in the summer school series and I'm reading from seminal works.

15
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,750
So if you are just joining us, welcome. So glad you found us

16
00:00:45,889 --> 00:00:48,290
and please go back and listen from the beginning.

17
00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:51,880
That's really important because the episodes build on each other.

18
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,540
So if you happen to be listening to this,

19
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:57,720
glad you're here and then go back and start episode one.

20
00:00:57,750 --> 00:01:01,819
For those of you that have been with me for a long time, glad you're hanging out.

21
00:01:02,299 --> 00:01:05,709
This is a really interesting section of this book

22
00:01:05,949 --> 00:01:08,150
and Landreth actually

23
00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:09,750
goes through

24
00:01:10,239 --> 00:01:13,680
Axline's principles and so we're going to tackle each one of these

25
00:01:14,209 --> 00:01:15,150
one at a time

26
00:01:15,489 --> 00:01:20,250
and the power of recognizing our own personality

27
00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:23,400
and what we bring to the play therapy process

28
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,040
is so important.

29
00:01:25,330 --> 00:01:28,250
So again, I'm reading from Innovations in Play Therapy: Issues,

30
00:01:28,260 --> 00:01:30,779
process and special populations edited by Landreth.

31
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,089
Ok. So we're in chapter two

32
00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:36,889
and essentially this is looking at

33
00:01:37,989 --> 00:01:40,910
Axline's qualities of the play therapist.

34
00:01:41,279 --> 00:01:45,110
She posited that the play therapist has eight

35
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:49,519
basic principles that guide all interactions with children.

36
00:01:49,949 --> 00:01:51,129
And then now we've,

37
00:01:51,139 --> 00:01:56,019
we're looking at these in light of being a personality characteristic or trait

38
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,040
that the play therapist must possess.

39
00:01:58,669 --> 00:02:00,709
So let me read some different sections a little bit

40
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,730
and then I'll move into the first of those eight.

41
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:07,480
So reading on page 23 the play therapist sets the

42
00:02:07,489 --> 00:02:10,740
climate in the playroom by his or her manner,

43
00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:13,449
attitudes and beliefs about the child,

44
00:02:13,910 --> 00:02:17,970
about self and about the nature of life and living.

45
00:02:19,179 --> 00:02:23,110
The most significant resource the therapist brings to the relationship

46
00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:25,220
is the dimension of self.

47
00:02:26,070 --> 00:02:30,750
The therapist is more important than anything. The therapist knows how to do.

48
00:02:32,449 --> 00:02:33,649
Wow. Let me say that again,

49
00:02:33,839 --> 00:02:38,389
the therapist is more important than anything the therapist knows how to do.

50
00:02:40,350 --> 00:02:44,970
The pressure is off y'all. We don't have to be perfect and have every skill

51
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:47,740
that we could possibly possess for this to work.

52
00:02:48,649 --> 00:02:53,669
So we set the climate by our manner, attitudes and beliefs about the child,

53
00:02:53,679 --> 00:02:56,630
about ourselves and about the nature of life

54
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,500
and living just our perspective on the world,

55
00:02:58,509 --> 00:02:58,910
right?

56
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:03,789
But the most significant resource that we bring is the dimension

57
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:07,910
of ourselves because the therapist is more important than anything.

58
00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:09,509
The therapist knows how to do.

59
00:03:10,309 --> 00:03:11,139
Therefore,

60
00:03:11,929 --> 00:03:14,880
the personality characteristics and interpersonal skills

61
00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:16,750
of the play therapist are critical.

62
00:03:18,619 --> 00:03:20,429
All right. So let that marinate.

63
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:27,779
So I'll read further according to Axline and this was from her 1969 work. By the way,

64
00:03:28,139 --> 00:03:31,509
the personality qualities of the play therapist

65
00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:33,139
may be summarized

66
00:03:33,270 --> 00:03:40,740
by saying that the therapist must be a person who quote, can and will accept the word

67
00:03:40,919 --> 00:03:44,479
and the spirit end quote of eight basic

68
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:47,470
principles that guide all contacts with children.

69
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,619
So she's looking at these eight

70
00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:54,929
foundational tenets and beliefs.

71
00:03:55,210 --> 00:04:00,889
And then we're now going to look at these as far as characteristics, one at a time.

72
00:04:01,339 --> 00:04:03,889
So today we're gonna talk through the first principle,

73
00:04:04,429 --> 00:04:08,130
which is the therapist is genuinely interested

74
00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:09,770
in the child

75
00:04:10,089 --> 00:04:12,830
and develops a warm and caring relationship.

76
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,608
So we are to be genuinely interested in the child,

77
00:04:16,858 --> 00:04:19,690
which I would argue that's the be-with attitudes, right?

78
00:04:20,298 --> 00:04:22,279
Pop quiz. What are the be with attitudes?

79
00:04:22,579 --> 00:04:25,559
You all better know this by now, especially if you've been around the block a while.

80
00:04:25,570 --> 00:04:28,839
I'm here. I hear you. I understand, I care, and I delight in you.

81
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:29,519
So

82
00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:32,989
we have this interest in the child,

83
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,089
but then we develop a warm and caring relationship

84
00:04:38,239 --> 00:04:40,440
and I know we've talked about that ad nauseam.

85
00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:44,649
The relationship is the most critical piece of what we do.

86
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,149
So we're interested and we build a relationship.

87
00:04:48,899 --> 00:04:51,309
So let me read a little bit more on page 24.

88
00:04:52,019 --> 00:04:55,730
The play therapist should be emotionally mature,

89
00:04:56,489 --> 00:04:57,429
stable

90
00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:58,869
and skilled.

91
00:04:59,250 --> 00:04:59,950
Wow.

92
00:05:00,890 --> 00:05:03,130
I know we talk a lot about

93
00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:05,880
the children with whom we work and where

94
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:09,559
they are emotionally and how stable they are and

95
00:05:09,799 --> 00:05:13,100
what their maturity levels are and all of that. But

96
00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:18,209
to quote again, the play therapist should be emotionally mature,

97
00:05:18,429 --> 00:05:20,380
stable and skilled.

98
00:05:22,179 --> 00:05:23,579
It's really hard

99
00:05:23,779 --> 00:05:24,489
to

100
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:29,500
be a therapist. Number one, it's really hard to be a play therapist. Number two.

101
00:05:29,559 --> 00:05:32,700
And it's even harder to be a child-centered play therapist.

102
00:05:32,859 --> 00:05:34,730
If you're emotionally immature

103
00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:37,170
unstable and you lack skills,

104
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:40,019
it's really, really hard to do this job

105
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:43,540
if those are how people would describe you,

106
00:05:45,350 --> 00:05:46,500
which is why

107
00:05:46,869 --> 00:05:48,220
it's so important

108
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:49,410
to

109
00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:51,929
make sure that we're doing our own work.

110
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,359
So I'm gonna skip down a little bit and I'll read again,

111
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,899
the ability to warmly accept a child

112
00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:06,269
is predicated on the therapist's ability to accept and understand him or herself.

113
00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:09,750
See how it's a two way street there.

114
00:06:11,190 --> 00:06:13,209
We can't warmly accept

115
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,809
a child if we can't warmly accept ourselves.

116
00:06:17,929 --> 00:06:20,309
Let's go back to Rules of Thumb from CPRT.

117
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,429
We can't give away that which we don't possess.

118
00:06:22,899 --> 00:06:25,790
There's a very symbiotic relationship

119
00:06:26,649 --> 00:06:30,549
and we have to work on ourselves in order to work with children.

120
00:06:31,549 --> 00:06:33,130
Ok, let me keep going in the book,

121
00:06:33,290 --> 00:06:35,809
the Effective Play therapist therefore,

122
00:06:36,260 --> 00:06:40,089
is engaged in a continuing process of self discovery,

123
00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:43,029
know thy themselves, right?

124
00:06:43,309 --> 00:06:46,230
Whichever philosopher said that ages ago,

125
00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,970
we have to do our own work.

126
00:06:50,649 --> 00:06:53,989
Let me continue. The therapist possesses insight

127
00:06:54,369 --> 00:06:57,350
into his or her own motivations

128
00:06:57,779 --> 00:07:00,809
and is able to accept personal limitations

129
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,100
without feeling threatened.

130
00:07:03,859 --> 00:07:05,869
The only way that that works is

131
00:07:06,070 --> 00:07:08,290
if we're doing our own work,

132
00:07:09,209 --> 00:07:11,369
we're working through our own stuff.

133
00:07:12,359 --> 00:07:16,500
We are ensuring that we are emotionally mature

134
00:07:17,140 --> 00:07:18,559
that we are stable.

135
00:07:19,429 --> 00:07:22,549
I know you're working on being skilled or you wouldn't be listening to this podcast.

136
00:07:22,649 --> 00:07:26,170
Are you engaging in a continual process of self discovery?

137
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,209
Are you working to understand and accept

138
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:32,220
yourself before you can understand and accept children

139
00:07:32,959 --> 00:07:34,359
in a child-centered playroom?

140
00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:39,869
And are you working to gain insight about your own motivations?

141
00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:44,510
And are you able to accept your own limitations without feeling threatened

142
00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:47,309
when a parent yells at you

143
00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:51,309
when you have a resistant caregiver? When a child says they hate you,

144
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:55,649
when a child tells their mom and dad, they never wanna come to play therapy again.

145
00:07:56,179 --> 00:07:59,619
When a pediatrician says that they'd rather prescribe

146
00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:02,570
medication and diagnose than recommend play therapy.

147
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,470
Is that a threat to you? Do you take that personally?

148
00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:09,220
Does that hurt your feelings? Do you feel wounded?

149
00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:11,630
Do you feel that somehow you should have

150
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,579
or could have done something better or different?

151
00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:16,359
If so,

152
00:08:16,799 --> 00:08:19,339
a lot of self work needs to be taking place?

153
00:08:20,470 --> 00:08:23,570
A lot of self discovery needs to be taking place.

154
00:08:24,559 --> 00:08:25,459
Let me continue

155
00:08:26,369 --> 00:08:31,049
being there and that's in quotes, being there. Meaning with the child

156
00:08:32,210 --> 00:08:36,869
requires far more than the therapist's physical presence alone.

157
00:08:37,419 --> 00:08:41,510
And it is what sets the play therapist apart from other adults in the child's world.

158
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:46,679
So when we talk about how hard play therapy is and child-centered play therapy,

159
00:08:46,690 --> 00:08:47,450
specifically

160
00:08:48,409 --> 00:08:52,719
how hard it is for us, how hard it is for the child, how hard it is as a process.

161
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,460
That's a big piece of

162
00:08:55,729 --> 00:08:56,690
the difficulty

163
00:08:58,049 --> 00:08:59,109
being there.

164
00:08:59,369 --> 00:09:02,950
It's an essential element to effective therapy,

165
00:09:03,780 --> 00:09:04,650
being there

166
00:09:05,359 --> 00:09:07,520
actively interacting with the child.

167
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:12,260
And yes, of course, it's listening to what the child is saying and it's

168
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,869
paying attention to what the child is doing through activity.

169
00:09:15,099 --> 00:09:15,630
But

170
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:19,270
it's so much more than that because it's being aware of and

171
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,900
being congruent with what is being experienced internally for the child.

172
00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:28,099
It's not just what is said and done, it's what is happening internally as well,

173
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,710
which is why being there requires far

174
00:09:30,719 --> 00:09:33,190
more than the therapist's physical presence alone.

175
00:09:33,869 --> 00:09:36,010
And this is what sets us apart.

176
00:09:36,429 --> 00:09:39,369
No other adult puts themselves in that position.

177
00:09:41,049 --> 00:09:44,669
So therefore much is required of us personally.

178
00:09:45,070 --> 00:09:49,179
If we're going to try to put ourselves in a position to quote, be there for a child,

179
00:09:49,929 --> 00:09:52,669
we have to make sure that we've done our own work.

180
00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:55,500
We have to make sure that we understand ourselves to

181
00:09:55,510 --> 00:09:57,679
the best of our abilities we have to make sure that

182
00:09:57,820 --> 00:10:01,080
we have insight and perspective and awareness

183
00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:03,710
and that we've discovered things about ourselves.

184
00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:08,750
I think that the healing takes place in a playroom for the child.

185
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:12,840
And I think that it spills over into our own healing as well.

186
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,000
And I've alluded to that a few times

187
00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:17,830
and I've had conversations with my coaching participants

188
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,080
as they were wrapping up the program.

189
00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:22,280
We've talked about it on the Collective a little bit as well. But

190
00:10:23,099 --> 00:10:26,239
there are way too many stories of therapists that have said

191
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,960
I've been able to heal from fill in the blank.

192
00:10:29,969 --> 00:10:32,640
I've worked on my own stuff with fill in the blank.

193
00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:36,559
Now that I'm wholly child-centered, there's something to be said for that.

194
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:42,760
And so first principle from Axline out of Landreth's book,

195
00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:45,340
the therapist is genuinely interested in the child

196
00:10:45,349 --> 00:10:47,400
and develops a warm and caring relationship.

197
00:10:48,219 --> 00:10:50,440
But here's the thing we can't do that

198
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,500
if we don't understand ourselves and work on ourselves

199
00:10:54,799 --> 00:10:55,549
and

200
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,400
prioritize

201
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,359
making sure that

202
00:10:59,489 --> 00:11:04,159
we are at a place emotionally and mentally and psychologically

203
00:11:04,619 --> 00:11:06,320
to do this work with kids.

204
00:11:07,570 --> 00:11:09,049
So I hope that that encourages you.

205
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:12,750
I hope that you find that helpful, we're going to go through all of these principles.

206
00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:15,869
So this was the first principle. There are seven more.

207
00:11:15,919 --> 00:11:19,929
So we will be diving into those as the summer school series continue.

208
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,210
And

209
00:11:21,609 --> 00:11:23,229
this has really been exciting.

210
00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:25,390
The feedback has been really positive.

211
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:29,530
I'm really excited that you all are enjoying these seminal works and,

212
00:11:29,539 --> 00:11:36,580
and really diving deep into the origins of child-centered and recognizing that

213
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,979
we really need to be aware of the classical

214
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:44,570
publications so that we're on track with what we're

215
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,539
supposed to be doing from a child-centered perspective.

216
00:11:46,549 --> 00:11:46,849
So

217
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:51,460
thanks for hanging out in summer school with me. I didn't think I would say that ever,

218
00:11:51,690 --> 00:11:53,510
but this has been a fun summer school. So

219
00:11:53,719 --> 00:11:55,099
if you would like to reach out to me,

220
00:11:55,109 --> 00:11:58,020
I'd love to hear from you Brenna@thekidcounselor.com

221
00:11:58,469 --> 00:12:01,299
and I will see you again soon. Love y'all. Take care. Bye.

222
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:06,130
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

223
00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:08,309
For more episodes and resources.

224
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:13,229
Please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.