Get to Know Me

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Trigger warning. This episode contains content about suicide. If you are a loved one are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at one eight hundred two seven three eight two five five, or message the Crisis text line at seven four one seven four to one. Both programs are free and provide confidential support. Twenty four to seven. Hi, guys, welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie, and today we're doing something a little different. I wiped it all off because I want you guys to get to know me, the real mean all right, So to get started, I am going to read This poem is entitled who am I?

00:00:51
Speaker 2: You ask?

00:00:53
Speaker 1: I am made of all the people I've encountered, all the things I've experienced. Inside I hold the laughter of my friends, the arguments of my parents, the chattering of young children, the warmth of kind strangers, and the bright night time stars. Inside they are stitching from cracked hearts, bitter words, from heated arguments, music that gets me through, and emotions I cannot convey. I am made from all these people, these moments, and the universe. That is who I am. So I thought we would do something a little different. I want you guys to know me. I know you see me on TV, you see what I allow you to see on my social media, But I wanted to really draw you in, like literally, come have a seat with me on my couch, and I want to tell you about me and how I got to where I am today and the backstory of Christophiney that you guys may not know, all right, DeNora, they want to know. So I know you got some questions for me, and we just gonna get to danaity, gritty, amazing, I'm ready, all right.

00:02:02
Speaker 3: First of all, I think that there's something poetic about the fact that you wanted to wipe your makeup, and I think that that's something that, as a public figure, is very interesting, because public figures feel safe hiding behind perfection, yes, and hiding behind you know, covering what you might perceive as an imperfection. Why was it important for you to do this conversation in your realist rust Because.

00:02:34
Speaker 1: I want this conversation to be real and raw. I think that, like you said, a lot of times, celebrities feel more comfortable hiding behind makeup, and in that I want to just show my authentic self, show you guys, who I am? The ngatree just literally strip it all off. And I felt like, what better way to do this than to take off all the makeup and really just show you guys who I am?

00:02:56
Speaker 2: Perfect? All right? Could he stay? Now? Let's get into it.

00:03:00
Speaker 3: Okay, that's the little funny name that I've given her, Kerry Stalli now, which is longer than crystals, So it doesn't make sense for that's her day to me, y'all can't call her kitty Stallia. But tell me, I know, we know Martin, Tennessee a town of what ten thousand people? What's growing up in a ton of ten thousand people?

00:03:22
Speaker 2: Like?

00:03:23
Speaker 1: You know what? I always say that Martin was such a small town that it gave me the most spaced to dream big. There wasn't a lot of noise, there was a lot of distractions. I was able to literally sit in that space and really just dream of a whole new world literally. And as a very young young girl, I had a very vivid imagination, and my parents they had me in the choir.

00:03:53
Speaker 2: I would do church plays.

00:03:54
Speaker 1: I was very active as a student, and it was just something about knowing that there was something bigger that God had for me.

00:04:03
Speaker 2: That was planning to me at a very young age.

00:04:05
Speaker 1: So I attribute a lot of my big dreaming to growing up in a small town.

00:04:11
Speaker 4: But I hear small town, and this.

00:04:14
Speaker 3: Could be stereotypes, right, But I hear small town and I hear almost like limitations.

00:04:22
Speaker 1: Right.

00:04:23
Speaker 3: What is it about your upbringing or how you were surrounded that allowed you to dream outside of what you were exposed to?

00:04:35
Speaker 1: You know what, I was very limited. You know, we didn't have the private schools. We had good education, but we didn't have the resources that a lot of big cities had.

00:04:48
Speaker 2: I think that.

00:04:51
Speaker 1: Living there and the influence, the influence of television, the influence of magazines. I would watch music videos and Janet Jackson performances and her Awards Show performances, and I'd watch her movies. I would watch Aliyah and I saw these women, I'm like, I want to do that, Angela Bassett when she was in how Stella got her groove back and waiting to exhale. These were women that I looked up to at a very young age, and I was very much influenced by them, and I knew that that was my window to something bigger than Martin, Tennessee. And when I would leave my house, all you see is a lot of land, cows, horses, farms, corn. It was a very agricultural based city or town so to speak.

00:05:42
Speaker 2: It was definitely not a city town.

00:05:44
Speaker 1: And I really feel like media was my outlet, whether it was magazines in the grocery store that I would look through as my mom went through the cash out counter, or if it was me watching music videos when I wasn't supposed to.

00:06:00
Speaker 2: Watching TV.

00:06:01
Speaker 1: That really influenced me and showed me that there was more that the world had to offer.

00:06:05
Speaker 4: Back in the MTV days.

00:06:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can say that, for hours watching videos one on six in parts.

00:06:13
Speaker 1: And my dad he was very strict about the music that I listened to because he knew that that could it could either tarnish my behavior, and it was very music is still very impactful as we see in today's society, and it was as well then.

00:06:30
Speaker 2: So my dad would get mad.

00:06:32
Speaker 1: Anytime he came This is the funny part. He would get mad anytime he came home and I was watching BET and now.

00:06:40
Speaker 2: BT to Tyrony.

00:06:42
Speaker 4: Right now he's sitting down watching BET.

00:06:44
Speaker 2: Yep, you're right I should get on him.

00:06:46
Speaker 3: What did you ever feel like there was an ext growing up. Did you ever feel like there was an expectation for you to stay small town or or did everyone so encourage you to build a life for yourself that would allow you to leave, Because sometimes you know, I mean, it just depends on the environment your racing, but sometimes you know you're expected like, no, you'll stay here, and you like you keep this sort of tradition if you're will of a small town family for generations to do.

00:07:22
Speaker 4: Where did you land on that side?

00:07:24
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:07:26
Speaker 1: My parents always instilled in me to get a college education so that you have something to fall back on and then you can do what you want to do on your own dime.

00:07:35
Speaker 2: They were not big risk takers. They were very calculated risk takers. They were like, Okay, we're going to do this.

00:07:42
Speaker 1: Get the education, get a good job, good health insurance, and sustain a nice lifestyle. And my childhood, you know what I'm saying. Growing up, we had everything we wanted and my parents definitely pushed us to be active in school and outside of school. But for me, I always knew it something more And when I was in college, I ended up getting an internship. I went to school in my hometown, and that was only because my parents would let me take my car. If I had known what I know now, then I would have sad, y'all can keep that car for the first year, and I would have went somewhere else. I think I would have definitely learned a lot more sooner if I had a left home instead of going to school in my hometown. But they didn't like hinder me or like try to talk me out of certain things. But I was always like a risk taker and I didn't care what anybody said, Like if that's what I wanted to do, I was gonna do it. It matter if it was close where I wanted to go, whatever it was. If I felt like this is what I want to do, I'm gonna do it. My mom could be like, I don't like that outfit, and I would literally look at her and be like, I do wo like and keep going. I was always very I didn't care what other people thought. And it wasn't like in a smart ale like way. I was just very confident in my choices at a very young age. And she was like she last at it now, she's like, didn't care. She was like, you don't like it, I do and it was like a self esteeming thing. It was like, I don't care what anybody likes, I don't care what other people doing.

00:09:07
Speaker 2: This is what I want to do. This is how I feel comfortable, and I'm going to do that.

00:09:10
Speaker 4: What do you think that comes from?

00:09:12
Speaker 3: Because I would imagine that that's something that you were either taught or you indirectly learned. Where does that confidence as such a young age come from, to be like, I'm gonna do what I want to do, whether you like it or not, and I feel good in it.

00:09:27
Speaker 2: That's funny. I think it comes from a sense of rebellion. You know.

00:09:32
Speaker 1: I grew up in a household where my parents definitely want the best for me, but it was it wasn't always the most freethinking household. It was very like strict and you need to do this, and it was strict and circondars. There were some things they were being done and then other things it was like, no, you're not doing this until you're out of our house because they were trying to protect me. But I think a part of that I'm going to do what I want and I like this. It was really me taking a sense in my own independence and saying I've done it your way for all these years, this is what I like, and this is what I'm gonna do.

00:10:09
Speaker 4: So it was a strict household. Was it like a religious household?

00:10:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, very much. I grew up in the church.

00:10:17
Speaker 1: We were there every time the church doors opened, and it was we studied the Bible at a very young age. By the well I was in the second or third grade, I knew every book of the Bible.

00:10:32
Speaker 2: Like.

00:10:32
Speaker 1: It was that type of home upbringing where we were in the church and we studied the word. I feel like the strictness really came from just like parents just not wanting something to happen to their daughter, you know, because I'm like, I know if I had kids now, like I don't even know if I want to bring a child.

00:10:50
Speaker 2: Into this world because how crazy it is.

00:10:53
Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine the feeling of something happening that I could have prevented, you know, if I was a parent. So as an adult, I totally get why they were the way they were. They were really just trying to do the best they could to protect me and keep me safe. But in some cases, as growing up, I had to learn lessons kind of late because I didn't get a chance to make those mistakes while I was still at home.

00:11:16
Speaker 3: So I know that that's how you see it in hindsight, Like, Okay, I can understand they were protected me, But how did eight nine, ten eleven, twelve year old Crystal experience that strictness?

00:11:29
Speaker 4: Maybe were getting deep?

00:11:30
Speaker 2: We are getting deep? You said, I just crossed my arm. It was like, is that an act of rebellion? As an act of like?

00:11:38
Speaker 1: Oh, eight nine year old Crystal was definitely afraid of making mistakes, afraid of getting in trouble, afraid of reprimand, And I definitely didn't see it as I feel like it was like, gosh, I can't do anything.

00:12:05
Speaker 2: You know at that age, I didn't understand it.

00:12:12
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of things that parents do is what they were taught and what they saw. Oh good, some of the things that you know they were just doing their best. Still like haunt you as an adult and you're torn with like if they hadn't been that heart of me, would I be who I am today? Or am I still battling with things because of how I was raised?

00:12:59
Speaker 3: Ten years share with us you feel comfortable, and I've shared it with us what's one of the things that you're battling with because of how.

00:13:05
Speaker 2: You were raised.

00:13:07
Speaker 1: It was just the the way I was disciplined, you know. Sometimes I just felt like it was harsh and unwarranted at times. Another Bible says spare the rides for the child. So it's like, to what extent do you spare the ride?

00:13:33
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I don't know.

00:13:39
Speaker 4: It sounds like you grew up with a lot of fear.

00:13:41
Speaker 2: I did.

00:13:43
Speaker 1: I did, and it was like, it's crazy. And this is where I guess tricky because if you looked from the street view of my upbringing, you'd have been like this girl, I want for nothing, like this is a happy family, beautiful family.

00:14:03
Speaker 2: But there were.

00:14:16
Speaker 1: There were generational curses that bled into my generation when it was time for me to be raised and things that I'm trying to unlearn and forgive and forget, you know, that are really hard to and as an adult, you try to be empathetic to your parents because you know that they were only doing what they were taught, you know, So it's like a it's a double edged sword where you're trying to understand, like I know you were the way you were because of how your parents were to you, and that's all you knew. You were doing the best you could. But now I'm fucked up, like I can't you know, I'm saying, I can't like put it in any better way than that.

00:15:15
Speaker 3: There's a beautiful dichotomy there, because there's the crystal that grew up with so much fear, but there's also the crystal that rebelled.

00:15:26
Speaker 2: And yeah, no, seriously, so how do the two coexist?

00:15:31
Speaker 1: You know? I almost fear like the fearlessness was a defense mechanism, you know, to show that like I am not this fearful little girl. I can do anything I want to do and I don't have to be scared of make mistakes, you know. And it got to a point where and I still struggle with perfection, being a perfectionist to this day, because I want to make sure everybody's happy out. I want to make sure I please everybody out. I want to get in trouble, like to this day, I like even with work, like people made fun of me because I'm always like you want to run it?

00:16:10
Speaker 2: I want to. I just want to make sure I know everything.

00:16:12
Speaker 1: I want to be on par I want to have everything memorized, and it's because I don't ever want to let anybody down. I want to make sure like I'm hitting my mark every in every part of my life. And as a child, like I just I wanted to make sure I did everything right. But I wasn't doing anything right, and that's why I would get in trouble. And it got to a point where it felt like sometimes like nothing was good enough, you know.

00:16:38
Speaker 2: But I say that, and in the same breath.

00:16:40
Speaker 1: I say that I had a great childhood, like there was nothing that I wanted that I didn't get. Two parent household, beautiful homes. My dad built every house we lived in brand new cards sixteen, like everything a kid would want, Like I had that saying class president, class favorite of every year. I was in the yearbook for class favorite for middle school through high school, in student council, captain, cheerleader, like I was all those things, but it was times where I didn't want to be alive.

00:17:24
Speaker 3: It sounds like that was a lot of pressure because it sounds like you were always performing.

00:17:31
Speaker 2: Which is why I'm so good at what I do now.

00:17:37
Speaker 3: That sounds like a lot of pressure for little girl.

00:17:40
Speaker 2: It's a lot of pressure and I am.

00:17:48
Speaker 1: I remember like sitting in my room listening to Kirk Franklin told me now and I still isn't test on the day and it makes me weak because I just I was like, this is too much. I can't take it. And I see how people can how I can look so perfect from the outside, and like you want to like, how do they kill themselves? And I'm like, I get that, you know. And I've never talked about this out loud to people, and I think the only reason I feel contal sharing it now.

00:18:29
Speaker 2: Is because if I had an acted on.

00:18:33
Speaker 1: Those impulses, there would be no Christopherine Hazlet, and the life that everybody sees wouldn't exist, you know. And I know there's people that are hurting and that are fighting with these same feelings and impulses to just end it all because they feel like it's.

00:18:54
Speaker 2: Just too much. It's too much.

00:18:58
Speaker 1: But I just want people to see that the person that they just like look up to and admire so much has been there and I got through it, still getting through it.

00:19:14
Speaker 2: And working through it.

00:19:15
Speaker 3: You know, how do you soothe that little girl, because that little girl never leaves, she never that little girl never leaves.

00:19:25
Speaker 2: She doesn't you know what?

00:19:32
Speaker 1: Oftentimes I I look at how gracious God has been, the things that he brought me through, how he protected me, and everything that I went through made me stronger, and it's in a way, it was like a hazing you know how like you you have like sorotes and maraternities where they like they break you down so that when you you go out in this world, nobody is like, there's nothing you can say to me that's gonna tear me down because I already been torn.

00:20:05
Speaker 2: Down, like you, what are you gonna do?

00:20:08
Speaker 1: Like?

00:20:08
Speaker 2: And that's just I feel like that's what it.

00:20:11
Speaker 1: Was in some instances where I was just like, this is just too much for a little girl to take.

00:20:22
Speaker 2: Do you? I know this?

00:20:27
Speaker 3: But I don't know if the world knows this that you lost your mom at a ridy young age. Are you comfortable talking about that about your mom?

00:20:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, my mother.

00:20:42
Speaker 1: And dad they actually met in college.

00:20:48
Speaker 2: They had me, they got married, and it was I was two years old.

00:20:55
Speaker 1: She had a brain aneurysm and it just left me and my dad by ourselves, And to this day, my dad doesn't really talk about it. My cousin once told me, he said, you were in bed, and your mom was there and she wasn't answering the phone. And that's how my dad found me with my mother dad next to me.

00:21:17
Speaker 2: And there are so.

00:21:24
Speaker 1: Many times in my life I wonder how life would have been if she was still here. You mean, you wonder, like God, why did you take her away at such a young age?

00:21:31
Speaker 2: Like why can't have gotten to know her? You know?

00:21:34
Speaker 1: And it it hurts, but I can't imagine what it would hurt like if I did actually get to know her and have that real connection. But like people have come up to me and say that I remind them of her, and that makes me happy that like people see me and her.

00:22:00
Speaker 2: Or see her in me.

00:22:02
Speaker 3: Did you ever experience I know that you grew up in a household that was.

00:22:09
Speaker 4: Both religious and spiritual.

00:22:12
Speaker 3: Did you ever experience anger at God like feeling that you robbed me of an experience with a mom like to that.

00:22:19
Speaker 2: There were times where I was like God, why did you take her away? Absolutely?

00:22:23
Speaker 1: I wondered why why he did that? Why I had to go through the things I did as a child, because I don't think my mom would have done that.

00:22:38
Speaker 2: I would have done what like raised me the way I was raised.

00:22:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, how do you feel that not having been raised?

00:22:59
Speaker 1: Because you you still absolutely And I don't want to take nothing away from Right, that's my mom, Like, that's the only person I know, like from She married my dad when I was five years old. So I don't want to take anything away from her because she did step into that role.

00:23:15
Speaker 2: And I want to be.

00:23:17
Speaker 1: Very careful not to bash her or disrespect her because I know she just did what she thought was best.

00:23:30
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

00:23:30
Speaker 1: I have to be honest with myself when it comes to that. But at the same time, I have to also be honest with how it affected me.

00:23:37
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

00:23:38
Speaker 1: I can't just be like, oh, I know that this you only did what you thought was best and you were just repeating what was done.

00:23:43
Speaker 2: To you or what you saw.

00:23:46
Speaker 1: I still have to hold it accountable to like how it affects me and what I need to do to like stop it from continuing. I have to break the cycle and break the curse, so to speak.

00:23:57
Speaker 4: So is that one area of your life where you feel that.

00:24:02
Speaker 3: Maybe the lesson here is this is the storm where you perfect your forgiveness.

00:24:07
Speaker 2: Wow, the storm where I perfect my forgiveness. That's good.

00:24:16
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in a in a space in my life now where I am rethinking the circumstances, you know, and looking at it through a different less.

00:24:29
Speaker 2: Even though it still brings you to tears.

00:24:33
Speaker 1: Just rethinking a lot of things and understanding that I'm not a victim, you know, and also knowing that people haven't really been through some messed up stuff worse than what I've been through. And we'll look at my story and be like, girl, please, what were we talking about?

00:24:51
Speaker 2: This was done to me?

00:24:52
Speaker 1: And it's like you look at that and like do I even like really have anything to talk about.

00:24:58
Speaker 2: But I know that if if I were to have kids, I would do it different.

00:25:10
Speaker 5: Mm. Yeah, Before we shift gears, I'm curious, what would Crystal today tell.

00:25:24
Speaker 4: That little girl?

00:25:25
Speaker 2: Oh, Crystal today.

00:25:30
Speaker 1: Would tell that little girl, Baby girl, don't worry. Everything that you ever dreamed of is gonna happen. You are going to be the one that carries a legacy. You gonna be the one that the world sees, You, gonna be the one that people look to. And everything that you're feeling right now because you live somebody else, it's gonna live.

00:26:02
Speaker 4: Wow, that's powerful. I believe choose the future.

00:26:15
Speaker 2: Listen, Christy like, no, I can't hear what Okay, okay.

00:26:35
Speaker 1: Probly future teach the world som and so.

00:26:48
Speaker 4: Give them motions the children. Oh.

00:27:09
Speaker 3: You know what I love about your story, and this is a good segue into that, is that every single year, it's almost like he trusted you with this. You stored it over it properly, that he went like this, and then you stored it over it properly, and then he went larger, and then he stored it over properly, and then.

00:27:28
Speaker 2: He went larger.

00:27:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so I think it's I think we should tell people a little bit about your backstory. Because you graduated college, you moved to d C start working for the US Senate.

00:27:40
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I interned.

00:27:44
Speaker 1: For the US Senate my junior year in college. My senior year, they called me and said, hey, we have a position open. We want you to come back to d C. So my parents were like, yeah, that's a great job benefits.

00:27:54
Speaker 2: I said yeah, They're like go.

00:27:57
Speaker 1: So I moved to Washington and worked on Capitol Hill. I was a legislative correspondent for the Help Committee, which said for health education, labor and pensions. I worked for Senator Lamar Alexander, my senator from Tennessee, and it was definitely I feel like DC is where I found myself. Like I literally found myself in DC. Like my personality, my sense of style, I feel like I all that kind of like came together when I moved to DC and from there I worked for two years, two and a half years on the on the Senate and something one that I j is just like I was sitting behind the desk and it was something was like what.

00:28:39
Speaker 2: Are you doing? M And I was like I don't know, why are you sitting behind this desk?

00:28:44
Speaker 1: Like you know, this is not what you're called to do, and we had just I had It's funny because when President Obama was running, he was in Senate first and he was running for president. I had an opportunity to go work on his campaign, but.

00:28:57
Speaker 2: I ended up not leaving. I was like, I'm not gonna leave you.

00:28:59
Speaker 1: And go do that because the senator, Senator Alixanda was like, what we gotta do to keep you? So I was like, hey me, I hate so I got what I wanted and I ended up staying with him, and sure enough Obama won presidency and I couldn't be working in the White House. But that wasn't my it wasn't my journey. So I told him, I said, hey, I want to move to Atlanta. I'm gonna go pursue music and acting. And he knew I could sing, and he was like, I support that wholeheartedly.

00:29:31
Speaker 2: He was like go, and he was like I wish you well.

00:29:33
Speaker 1: He said, just don't forget about it when you get famous. And I was like okay, And I moved to Atlanta. I didn't have anything. My uncle let me stay in his room.

00:29:40
Speaker 3: Before you continue, though, that decision and courage doesn't happen overnight.

00:29:45
Speaker 2: It doesn't.

00:29:45
Speaker 1: It's that decision does not happen overnight. It's a it's sitting in a season of uncomfortableness knowing that, and it's that uneasiness of knowing I'm not doing what I was put.

00:30:00
Speaker 2: On earth to do.

00:30:01
Speaker 1: And you sit there long enough, it's gonna s really start eating away at you. And it got to the porto. I was like, I can't do this. I gotta take a leap of faith and figure it out. And I had some amazing people in my corner. They were very supportive, like, Okay, come on this what you wanna do, We're gonna support it. Have people in the music industry they're like, when you get here, we got you. My uncles like you can stay in my spare room.

00:30:23
Speaker 2: You're good. And I did that and it was the hardest year.

00:30:30
Speaker 1: Of my life. It was just a lot of like, did I make the right decision?

00:30:36
Speaker 2: Lord?

00:30:37
Speaker 1: I know you didn't bring me here for no reason, but what's happening? And I got end up getting a job at the complex ran by Divine Stevens, who was a choreographer, usher and many other people super talented guy. I always find myself around what I wanna do. So he had an artist development since dance studios, salon and a gym in one place, and I worked at the front desk Word then he had a studio he found Lady Guy. Guy worked with Acon, found an Acon and signed him. And he was also somebody who helped me through that time and really trying to navigate Atlanta. And when I first moved here, and I just kept hitting nose after nose. I started doing background work for movies because I wanted to get my foot in the door with that, and I started making some connections with never booking anything, and.

00:31:31
Speaker 2: I ended up working getting.

00:31:33
Speaker 1: A job as a PA at Tyler Perry Studios in twenty twelve, and.

00:31:40
Speaker 2: I was.

00:31:42
Speaker 3: Tell us a little bit about what a PA is, because I think people really need to understand.

00:31:47
Speaker 1: Yes, like what a productions Yes, a production assistant is the person that just does anything that the production needs. I was assigned to the department, so that entailed going to get the designer's breakfast every morning, getting there before they did. I would do all the product placement for the show. I was one making the phone calls Colin Levi saying, Hey, yes, I'm working on a show, new show produced by Oprah Winfrid and Tyler period. We wanted to know if you guys could send us some clothes for our actors, because a lot of times you save your budget by getting product placement by different companies. And I did that. I would go run their and I would fly close the set. Basically, you're there to do whatever they need you to do. There's no like I'm coming to work and this is what I do. No, you do whatever we need you to do. And it was not a glamorous job. It literally I went from.

00:32:41
Speaker 2: Making a great living to I think it was like five.

00:32:44
Speaker 1: Hundred dollars a week. It was something like crazy, Yeah, a major adjustment and pay and lifestyle. But I knew that, like, I'm around what I want to be around, and guys gonna make away. So I did that for three months and I got promoted to dressing the background. I dressed background for I think a year, and then I got promoted to dressing the main actors and from there, like I was actually on set, so I was able to study. I would watch the monitor and I would pay attention to their clothes, but then I was watching. I was studying their acting and their reactions and the timing, and it was lily like being in a masterclass and getting paid for it. And I was like this when I'm making good money, when I want to say costumers made pretty good money. And that's when things started to shift and Tyler took a liking to me. And I had went to work on a movie with Jamie Fox, Gabrielle Union, and Ti and I got a call from Tyler Perry Studios and it was the president at the time. He said, Hey, I'm calling because Tyler wants you to a costume design, the upcoming movies and our upcoming shows. And I said me, and this time, I'm starting to get called back. So I'm still grinding the whole time. Even when I was consuming and PA and all that stuff, I was during lunch, I would get auditions. I would run downstairs, tape them, run back upstairs eat.

00:34:09
Speaker 2: It was a constant grind.

00:34:10
Speaker 1: I was actively pursuing what I wanted to do while I was working, and a lot of people don't want to do that. A lot of people think that it just happens overnight and they're like, well, I just want to do this. No, you gotta work while you trying to do what you want to do, and it's not always easy.

00:34:25
Speaker 2: It was exhausting.

00:34:26
Speaker 1: Like I would literally be on set behind the scenes trying to learn lines for audition. I need to get on tape to get back up to work, and it was like go go.

00:34:34
Speaker 2: Go, go go. And I had.

00:34:36
Speaker 1: Auditioned for a few rolls at the studio, never got them. And when Tyler called me to do that, I was like, I thought he had seen my auditions and I was like, damn, he must not think I can act. So I really was kind of like them, Okay, maybe I do need to think of another career choice. So I prayed about it and I took the position, and then shortly after that, I got another CA asking me to be his stylish or help revamp his closet, and then that turned into being his stylist for five years. And at that point I made a conscious choice to not audition for anything, to solely focus on Tyler because being Tyler's a big mogul, like his life and the things he has going on is like a twenty four hour job. So I had to dedicate everything to him for those years. And fast forward to twenty nineteen, sisters came about we're having a conversation and he was like you can be a part of it.

00:35:35
Speaker 2: And I was like, well in what way? And he was like, you can produce it.

00:35:38
Speaker 1: I was like hey, cause I was already costume design and everything he did. And I was like, okay, cool, so I'll costume design and produce it. Great, still not thinking I'm ready to tap back into acting. As the script start coming out, I'm like, these are my stories, this is my life. Oh my gosh, Like this is it. I was like, this is the moment, this is now. This is when I need to say, hey, Tyler, I want to act. So I got the courage to do it, and we talked about it and he was like, I got something for you. It's gonna be a small role, and what you do with it is on you. She can stay smaller, she can go as big as you wanted to.

00:36:14
Speaker 2: And I looked at that. Man, I said, I will not let you down.

00:36:18
Speaker 1: And to see that, like Fatima came on to the scene, nobody knew her name. She was Andy's assistant season one, and then she ended up running it, literally running into Zach and the two of them and their relationship began to bud and the audience just.

00:36:35
Speaker 2: Fell in love with them.

00:36:37
Speaker 1: And I remember this day clear as day. We were sitting on Fatima's bed. Tyler walks in. We're on the set. Zach and I deval and Tyler stops and he looks at us and he goes, I like this and just walked away.

00:36:54
Speaker 2: And we were like, what does that mean? And I was like, we're gonna get her show. He's like, I feel it. I feel it, Crystal.

00:37:01
Speaker 1: They love us, and I was like, man, I don't know. And sure enough, a year later, We're hearing chatter among the crew and they.

00:37:09
Speaker 2: Were like, it's the team is the teams Coming's the team is coming.

00:37:11
Speaker 1: We were like what They're like, it's on the production schedule, it's on the calendar.

00:37:15
Speaker 2: We were like, oh my god.

00:37:17
Speaker 1: And Tyler came to my birthday and he gave a beautiful speech about when you honor another man's God will bless you. And somebody came up to Tyler and said, you really gonna give Chrystal her own show? And he said, the girl gave me five years of her life. You think I'm not gonna bless her? And that's the heart of Tyler Perry.

00:37:40
Speaker 2: He once he.

00:37:41
Speaker 1: Realized that's what I wanted to do and saw how I served him and never said anything. And I'm talking about I gave that man one hundred and fifty percent every.

00:37:48
Speaker 2: Day, like whatever he needed, I was there.

00:37:50
Speaker 1: And that's not the the service that she usually give from somebody who has another dream. And he saw that and he was like, I would have never known that's what she wants to do. And if I hadn't say anything, I would probably still be style in Tylerant, you know, making a great living.

00:38:07
Speaker 2: Because Tyler Perry tastes care of his people. Thank you, talent.

00:38:12
Speaker 1: I always say thank you Jesus and Tyler period, thank you for being a vessel, because he is.

00:38:19
Speaker 2: He's a man of God.

00:38:20
Speaker 1: He has a big heart, and he's changed so many lives and he definitely changed mind and encouraged me every day to dream bigger and even to this day, like some days what I think is big. He was like, girl, you are not thinking big enough.

00:38:39
Speaker 3: As a Christian. What I love about that story is that you, like all I hear is that you were in a preparation season. Not to you and perhaps for some people listening and watching this felt like, wow, but that was a long time, because that's what five six years?

00:39:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, But then when you.

00:39:06
Speaker 3: Experience the glory maybe of that preparation season, it's almost like it could have like I could have even waited longer for this to happen.

00:39:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, were you prepared? Did you feel that you were prepared for.

00:39:23
Speaker 4: When all of this happened.

00:39:25
Speaker 3: Because it was I mean, you hit the scene and you became a fan favorite rather quickly.

00:39:32
Speaker 2: I was prepared.

00:39:33
Speaker 1: It had been ten years since I moved to Atlanta, and they always said it takes ten years make an overnight success, and I moved here in two thousand and nine. Sisters was being lit twenty nineteen. We shot the first season in twenty nineteen, so by that time I was ready. I was like, let's go. I've been waiting for this moment. And I was also ready in different ways, not just to act and do what I always wanted to do. I was also ready to be responsible over what was about to come into my life.

00:40:01
Speaker 2: And that was.

00:40:03
Speaker 1: Not knowing it at the time that when God has a way of doing this, he did this with right before I came a costume designer. The designer before she had an assistant, but she always wanted me around, and I'm like, why is she always asking me to come?

00:40:18
Speaker 2: I love her.

00:40:18
Speaker 1: It was Janeta Boom, incredible costume designer, but I never understood why she always wanted me to be right there with her instead of her assistant. And a year later I get the job to be a costume designer, and then it's like, ah, God, I see what you were doing there. You were making sure I knew what to do. When this guy put in my.

00:40:35
Speaker 2: Lap, he already knew. I know the plans that I had for you yes.

00:40:43
Speaker 1: And then the same thing happened with Tyler, and he didn't know it. He just thought he had a great stylist. But what he was doing was teaching me how to have no business because a stylist is a very intimate position. You are around this person all the time, they're having phone calls, conversations, you're dinners with them.

00:41:02
Speaker 2: You see everything, you see their whole world.

00:41:05
Speaker 1: I got to see how Tyler handles stress, how he handles the pressures of the life, the.

00:41:12
Speaker 2: Empire that he's built.

00:41:13
Speaker 1: I got to hear business conversations and how he handles business. I saw the heart of the giving heart that he had, and I was like, okay, all these things I'm learning so much. I'm learning how to move in this space. Tyler don't move any kind of way. And I was first, I was like, why do you do all that?

00:41:30
Speaker 2: Now?

00:41:30
Speaker 1: I understand, you got to move different when God puts you in certain places. You have to manage your money different, you have to give different, you know, and you can't get stingy when God blesses you. And these are all things that I learned right before it was tigned for me to be pushed into that light and I was able to handle so gracefully because I had been taught Yeah, and I know that God was like, I'm a place right. He places me in the right places. And I always used to say, God, I know you not put me around all these successful people for me to be mediocre. I'm going I know, cause like it started off in college, Like he had me around millionaires in college. I'm like, I know You're not putting around these people that exposed me to this. If if this is all you want from me, you got something bigger for me. It's almost like he was dropping hints yeah or very early yeah.

00:42:19
Speaker 3: What I think is very interesting is and where I think like that anointing over your life was so clear was that in the midst of you have your heart burning for this dream, you understood I have to serve though, And.

00:42:42
Speaker 4: I could only.

00:42:43
Speaker 3: Imagine the amount of dreams that are six feet under right now because they were too proud to serve. What created that discernment in you to say and you didn't stop, but you did it.

00:43:03
Speaker 4: You still gave a hundred to where you were called to serve, because that's that's where it becomes a problem. Right, one day will start feeling like I'm.

00:43:10
Speaker 3: Not supposed to be here, they show up with nasty attitudes. What gave you the discernment to make sure that you were responsible here in your waiting season.

00:43:19
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what it was. When that opportunity came to me, I prayed. I said, God, if this is what you want want me to do, make it plain. I need you to order my steps because.

00:43:30
Speaker 2: I don't know where I'm going. And I knew that I.

00:43:33
Speaker 1: Wanted to be creative, and as long as I was working in the creative space, I was gonna have fun cause I love fashion, I love film and television, and it wasn't always just about being in front of the camera for me. So I was like, if this is what you want me to do, like order my steps and just make it very clear this is what I was supposed to do. And he did that, and I said, all right, God, this is what you want, I'm gonna give it one hundred and ten percent. Were gonna do this thing. I'm not gonna have do nothing so ill. I've always had the heart of a server. I always want to make sure even like how I host like, I'm very like, are you good? You need anything like, I always want to make sure everybody around me is good.

00:44:09
Speaker 2: So I've always had that.

00:44:11
Speaker 1: Hospitable energy to make sure that people are good. But I knew that if God put this in, put this on my plate, I had to honor it and I had to be responsible over it so that whatever was to come from it, if this is also due for rest of my life, I'm gonna be the best at it, you know, and I'm gonna put my best foot forward.

00:44:31
Speaker 3: And yeah, before we transition into your closers, what do you want minister to Crystal today? What do you want to tell Crystal today?

00:44:48
Speaker 1: Crystal today, you have worked so hard to get where you're where you are, this is only the beginning. You always ask God to audio steps, and I feel like you should continue to do that because if He hasn't steered you wrong yet, continue to be fearless, stop doubting yourself, stop doubting what God has already done. Tap back into that little girl that was like, I don't care, I like it.

00:45:20
Speaker 2: That's what I wanna do.

00:45:21
Speaker 1: Tap into that a little bit of that rebellion spirit, but it's more like a confident spirit, knowing that whatever you put your mind to you can do it because you've been doing it, and I would tell her to continue to keep God first. As you continue to as sind you're gonna get busier and busier and sometimes busy as the devil's distraction to keep away from God. But do not allow that to pull you away from God, because as soon as that happens, God's gonna start pulling everything else back. So continue to stay close to Him, keep him close to your heart, and just continue to be good to people and understand that your living is in your giving, which is something I already live by.

00:46:04
Speaker 4: Thy Okay, so positive outcomes.

00:46:12
Speaker 3: I have been working in marketing since I graduated college in twenty ten. Lately I have been feeling like I lack the excitement for the work that I am doing, and then feeling an itch to try something new, specifically in entertainment. Every day feels like work. I don't feel like I'm in my purpose. What scares me is the job security that I currently have. I have a six figure salary and great benefits. What obstacles did you have to overcome to have the courage to quit your job to pursue your dreams and what were the practical steps that you took to prepare yourself to do it.

00:46:42
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a good one. So when you get to the point where you can't stop thinking about what you want to do, then it's time to really start making your exit plan. But you have to be smart about it. For me, I definitely had a little saving set up before. I'm not to just jump and move without any type of money saved up. Save up some money that you get at least, I would say, try to save up enough to give yourself a year to like live off of pay your bills so that you can at least survive, because it's gonna be hard when you're transitioning. You're not gonna make money right off the bat, and it's who knows how long that period is gonna be.

00:47:24
Speaker 2: But I would be say be ready.

00:47:25
Speaker 1: To humble yourself because it doesn't always look when you're trying to get into entertainment. I'm not sure what area of entertainment you want to get into, but assuming it is in front of the camera, it's not gonna happen the way you see it and think or think that it happens for other people, because like I said, for me, it was a ten years before everybody knew who Christal Rane Hazeley was. So be ready to be patient, be ready to let the road be windy. A lot of people think it's gonna be a straight road, and you think, Okay, if I want to do this, I need to do this, this, this, and this. No, my journey to get here was so unorthodox. Most people I work with went to er An Art, a fine arts school. They've been classically trained, They've worked on other shows, other plays that came from Broadway. Other people had their own shows that they were on before. Everybody comes from a different journey. I stepped into it without any of that background. But if that's what it was for you, then you had to put yourself in position train learned as much as you can about that area. And I would say that the practical thing to do is make sure that you have a plan. Don't just jump head first and not have any type of plan in place, and be smart about it. And I wish you the best you can do it. I'm a witness.

00:48:51
Speaker 3: So what are you going through and what are you growing through?

00:48:56
Speaker 1: Ooh, I am going through letting go of childhood trauma, and I'm growing through allowing myself not to be perfect, allowing myself to practice excellence and not trying to be perfect. All right, y'all, this was a doozy donal had me crying up in here.

00:49:28
Speaker 2: I want to thank you guys so much.

00:49:29
Speaker 1: We like to close off with a keep it blank, sweetie, and today for this one, keep it healing, sweetie, Keep healing. Know that it's a process. It's not gonna happen overnight. But anything that you've been through you can get through it. Seek help. Therapy is real and it is very, very helpful, and I advise.

00:49:54
Speaker 2: It to anybody.

00:49:55
Speaker 1: All right, Thank you guys so much for tuning in. If you want to write into our of Outcome listening letter, make sure you write in to Keep It Positive Sweety.

00:50:04
Speaker 2: At gmail dot com.

00:50:05
Speaker 1: You guys can follow me on pretty much everything at luv Crystal Renee, that's Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, all the things, and on my YouTube.

00:50:15
Speaker 2: Guys.

00:50:16
Speaker 1: I hope this blessed you the way it blessed me. This in itself was therapeutic. I didn't know I needed to get that out to know or thank you so much for helping moderate this episode of Keeping Positive Sweety. I could have done this with anybody else because I trust you so much, I love you and thank you. This is a safe space for me and I couldn't just do this with anybody, so thank you. All right, guys, until next time, we'll see you, and in the meantime, keep it positive, sweetie,