Astrid Loch Discusses Pregnancy Struggles and IVF Journey

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Speaker 1: Welcome back, happy our listeners. Thanks for joining us again another week. And I couldn't between this without my great co host Katherine Lowe. She did an incredible job last week and so I thought I'm gonna bring her on again for another week. And Katherine, before we get started, I have to just say, you're a professional at podcasting, like I not known, like you haven't really like co hosted a podcast before, like you would have fooled me. You're sweet. I guess I am professional now that this is my second time, so technically i'm professional, but I have a lot to learn. So you're a great lead for me. No, But what I love about you is you just are so personal at personal and you're just good about asking questions. And I'm so happy that we were able to have Leslie on last week because obviously you two are girlfriends, but it just felt comfortable, and I know I wanted to bring you on another week because I just had a feeling you would be the exact same way for any guests that we bring on. We're going to actually get into very soon. We have an incredible woman joining us today, a very special guest with asteroid Luck. But before we do that, Catherine, how have you been in this past week? How are you feeling? Have you received any feedback from Sean or friends, family from you co hosting with me last week? Yeah, I mean it's been I was really really excited to do that. I thought that having Leslie as somebody that I felt comfortable with, we had I mean, we had so much stuff to talk about with Leslie and like I'm sure, like you said last time, we could even do more because she's such a dynamic person and I just I loved it. There was good feedback. I know that Sean was really happy, and we just I'm just excited to hear more about what Leslie's doing, not just personally, but through her whole social and her trips. And she's now in Hawaii so that'll be fun. But yeah, I'm just excited to be part of this. And I love talking to you. I love talking to other people, so this is just a perfect area for me. I'm really excited for more. I well, I'm excited for more with you because I have to tell you this and it's something that I wanted to tell you last week, and it just, I mean, we just talked about so much that it slicked my mind. But so the first season of The Bachelor or Bacheloright that my mom ever watched was actually Sean Susan, and she fell in love with you right away. And I'm not just saying this because you're here, Like she to this day, even before you co hosted with me last week, she would always still bring you up and she's like, how Sean and Catherine, she was still my favorite. And so the fact that that you did this with me, she called me right after she's like, I can't wait to listen in all she has to say, So I think it's something really special, not just for me, but like I mean, and Rachel and I mentioned this like almost every episode, is that the show just brings people together in such a weird way, and I feel like it's a really unique way that now was kind of bringing my mom back into the Bachelor nation with you because she she loves you so much. What's your mom's name? Her name is Jill, Jill, Ji, Jill, I love you, jillot out to Jill. Shut Jill. Well, now she really has to listen. But one thing that I've been talking to some of my girlfriends about in the past week is that I mean, there's so many podcasts out there, and there's especially so many Bachelor related podcasts, and I mean especially so many people within the franchise have gone on to do their own podcast. So I think it's something really special for us that we still have such a good follower base and people that support us and listen to us weekly, no matter who the guess is, that have stuck by us. And I think that's something really a special show shout out to not only Jill, but to all of our listeners out there who tune into us each week. You know, we couldn't be here and do this without you. And so that's just something that crossed my mind within this past week of like, we're really lucky to be doing this with so much you know, not that it's competition, but so much competition out there. So yeah, and I'm just reaping the benefits of what you guys have. I'm just excited that we have you on and with that, you guys, I'm so excited to have Astrad on today because she is a friend from Afar. I've only met her once in person, but I feel like we're kindred spirits. If you will, you may remember her. She was on Nick season several years ago. But then you also probably most remember her and Kevin because they met on the beaches of Paradise a couple of seasons ago and fell in love. They didn't have the most traditional ended on Paradise. They actually left kind of broken up and then rekindled post Paradise, but they are now engaged and they just have some major news that they shared with the world this past weekend. So, without further ado, please welcome our great guest today, Astrad Luck Well, welcome, Astrad. I'm so glad you could join us today. And I feel like Rachel and I have raved about you when we used to record, and obviously you two are friends, and then you and I, I mean we've met once. But I am so thrilled to have you on because we have so much to talk about to get caught up on. But before we get into everything, you have some major news that you just shared with the world, So do you want to just dive into that. I did. Yeah, Fragnan, we're expecting her first little baby, Wind, which is so exciting. I feel so good to finally say it out loud, because you like eight days after you know the transfer, so it's been a really long road to not tell everyone. Yes, I can imagine, and we are so incredibly thrilled for the both of you. As you're talking right now, I know that you guys are living in Canada. You kind of sound like you're picking up some sort of Canadian accent. I think I am. I think I am a little bit, which I love because I'm from the Midwest, so it kind of feels like home a little bit. So I love it. So I just want to get in because you know, obviously we saw you and Kevin meet on Bachelorm Paradise a couple of years ago, and though you didn't get engaged on paradi so you did get engaged after. So tell us what life has been like since that, since you guys left the beach you moved in together. Give us the rundown of your life. I mean, well, pre covid, I feel like we were all over the place, just traveling. I feel like before I met Kevin, I used to always say, I just want to meet someone who has similar interests me and just wants to explore the world, visit all of these places until we're like in our thirties, and then we'll settle down and we'll have kids. And so we were doing that for a while and then everything just kind of shut down. But it worked out great because we sold our condell. We bought a newtown home. We've renovated that over the last few months. So we've just been busy kind of making our little nests since you know, everything's still closed here. And so I know that you had mentioned you guys had started the wedding planning process. Obviously COVID hit, so you know, since things are starting to open up a little bit more, I don't know how much they are in Canada. Have you guys thought any more about wedding plans? When where details around that? Oh, we moved. We postponed the wedding to November nineteenth of this year, okay, and I'm now do November eighteenth. Haven't give a birth and get married within twenty for hours, I think so. So we're postponing it again until October of twenty twenty two. Okay. See, I feel like I need a whole year, Like I don't know what it's going to be, like, it's this is my first baby. He's like, we can get married in the spring. I'm like, no, you don what a sweet man. You don't want to do two birds with one stone in one weekend. The family and friends will already be there. He I'm littally scared about what's going to happen with him because he doesn't really fully understand what it's like to have a baby. Like he's talking about going to the super Bowl with a newborn, Like it doesn't really work with that. They have to get their shots, like they can just be out and about, like even take their babies to the grocery store in the beginning. Like we have to just like take it easy and plan travels. God bless him. I mean, Catherine, I'm sure you can speak much more to this, but I'm sure you can understand what it's like to have a newborn, and probably you don't want to do anything except well, it's really you can do anything, really, to be honest, if you really wanted to go to the super Bowl, obviously with potential health things like COVID continuing to happen, but you can put on some headphones on the baby, and the baby I'll just sleep. So whatever you want to do, the baby will pretty much do however you feel about it. They really just follow your lead. So if you want to relax, then you should relax. And if he wants to go to Super Bowl, maybe you should consider not doing it this year. But you know, just know, it should not hold you back from doing whatever you want or just snuggling with them. But how far along are you? Exactly? I'm thirteen weeks today. Oh that's such a great time. Second trimester starts, You're going to be in a great position. Did you feel the first trimester? I was. I was so tired, Like I had heard my friends talking about how exhausted you are. I didn't realize that I would be like a zombie, like I've done a nap. I needed a nap every single day, and like we were in lockdown. So it kind of worked out because I was just in like sweatpants and couldn't really go anywhere. But I'm like, how are people working like thirty hour weeks like nurses on their feet, Like I don't understand because I literally can't function and I was nauseous, but I didn't throw up, so I wasn't too bad. And then I had to do progester on oil shots because they just wanted to like still pump me full of all of the good hormones to make sure the baby was taken there. So that was honestly the worst part because the oil just goes in really difficult. So I just had lumps and bruises on yeah a while, but I'm done with those two, which I do want to get into all of that, because I, you know, I kind of can relate to the injection part of things because I froze my eggs, which we'll get into. But don't they call trimes or two the glory days? Is that what it's referred to as where it's like you don't you have a little bit more energy, You're not you know, as nauseous, it's just you you kind of feel back to your normal self. So is that how you're feeling now? Aster And I'm like back to normal. I'm working out again, like the first trimester, like I couldn't get on the bike now, like I'm getting back not often. I'm still using it as an excuse, but I was too every day. Do you are you the type of couple that wants to find out the sex of the baby or do you want to be totally surprised it's gonna wait, you're gonna it's been like from when we met, Kevin always said he wants to wait to find out the gender, and I used to tell him he's crazy, We're not doing that his brother did with all three of their kids. But then I think after going through all the struggle is trying to get pregnant, and then it was so much planning and everything was on a schedule and like nothing was a surprise. Like it's like, Okay, today, they're putting a baby in me. In eight days, I'm gonna know if it worked or not. But I feel like this is the one thing we can still be surprised about. So I agree to you waiting to find it out. You guys are les. That's what Sean and I did for all three kids, and there's you can never be surprised like that. So I'm super excited for you guys. It's going to be such a good day. Wait, do you have an inkling, So, Katherine, when you were pregnant with all three children, did you have an inkling of if it was going to be boy or girl for any of them? Oh? And they were all like the exact same pregnancies. So I thought after having two boys, I thought Mia would be a boy. Because of just it is super easy pregnancies. So do you think, do you know Ashrod, what do you think? I'm kind of thinking girl. But I think it's because I like all the girl ambs better than hoping. I did my um anti scan the other day and saw like much good imagery of it. The baby it's like Kevin, Like it has like his head is like four. That could probably be a girl. That was like Kevin. So when I looked at the last ultrasound, I kind of saw Kevin. So then it made me think, well, maybe it's a boy. But I honestly I have no idea who. So speaking of names, what are something that you liked or do you want to share or do you want it to be a complete surprise to the world. Kevin won't even let me tell my mom, like you tell everyone everything. He's like, don't even tell your mom. I don't want to hear. If somebody doesn't like something exactly, they should not have an opinion that is so you, because then they can't not like it. When you have a baby, a beautiful new baby with that name, even if it's a silly name, you're like, well, you can't make fun of an owl so they say my mom my mom has a really bad accent, so her only request is just that she can pronounce it something that I can't say. Yeah, And there's something to be said to that, like and obviously you know, hello, I'm not am so I don't know what it feels like to hold that like my own newborn, but I feel like there's something to be said for when you first look at that child and you maybe have a few names in the mix, and then you're like, oh, you're this, or you're that, or I thought you were going to be this, but you're definitely not. So maybe, you know, maybe that'll help once you're holding the newborn. But sure, how exciting. I cannot wait. I want to get into you know, and you've been very open and honest, and you've shared your infertility struggles with the world. So first I want to commend you on your bravery and speaking out. I can only imagine how much of a resource and of just a help and like a shining beacon you were to other women going through something similar or who maybe haven't gone through it yet but might be, you know, wanting to plan a family in the short term. So thank you for just sharing your story because I personally think it's incredible. I mean, side note, I froze my eggs in October and that's obviously not even anything compared to this, but just the amount of women in my DM saying thank you for sharing this. It's not even something I thought about or knew about her. It's something that I've been wanting to do and you just helped me along. I can imagine you're getting that tenfold, which is so overwhelming, Like I could just cry, Like I can't even look at it because I'm so emotional of all the hormones as is that. Like I'm trying to read it, and then I have to put my phone down for a little bit because it's just like it feels so heavy, and you know, like we obviously struggled and trying to get pregnant, but there's people who have struggled less, and then there's people who have struggled so much more. So it's so hard because really, truly, every single person's journey is so unique. No two people are like and I remember my first visit at the fertility clinic. I like joked to Kevin, I'm like, wow, Like some of these people have like really really big folders, and then like months and months into it, it kept mine kept getting bigger and bigger. I'm like, okay, my short is really growing. Like this really has to like work at some point, but it's definitely not talked about enough. And I think I saw a lot of pregnancy announcements while we were trying, and I felt really sad every time, And then I felt like a bad person for not being happy for somebody else getting pregnant, because I should be happy for them, but I couldn't help but to be sad for myself. So I just didn't want to come out and say we're pregnant without sharing what went into it. But I wasn't brave enough to share it while we were going through it because I was too anxious. Kevin was too anxious. That it took us finding like having good news to be able to even talk about. So what was the catalyst that made you want to finally end up sharing it with the world. Was it just because you know, you probably knew and understood struggles that other women were going through, or what was that push to get you to not only share this pregnancy announcement, which is incredible in itself, but to share the entire process and what you guys went through. You know. It was I followed this one girl and she's like kind of like an influencer too, I guess, and she shared, like really nonchalantly that both of her kids had been IVF, and I remember thinking like, oh, I had no idea if I would have, Like you know, like you just see people on social media and they just have these perfect little lives, perfect little kids, like just the cutest. But I didn't realize that it took her those struggles to get there, and it made me think, Okay, like when we get there, I want people to know from the beginning that we got pregnant through IVF. Just to be transparent and share, share your life with the people that follow you and as like the community and support change. Like what does that look like for people following you? You've been getting really positive messages, I'm assuming, Oh my god, so many. I mean, like Kevin and I are talking were like trying to figure out a way to raise money because I think we've also realized throughout it, like we're very fortunate, you know, Like when the conversation about IVF came up, it was like, Okay, let's do this, and we didn't have to necessarily think twice about how are we going to budget this out? And like where's this coming from? And I have a friend who's been going through this, and she did a couple of iuis, which are like way less expensive. It's like I think six to seven. What's IUI. I UI is where they just like take the sperm and they put in a catheter and they just like put it up while you're ovulating, so they'll still track your cycle to figure out when you're ovulating, but instead of like having your eggs that they've already retrieved in the sperm and making the embryo, they're still just putting the sperm in through a catheter. So it's a lot less evasive, Like you can still be on meds and all of that. And we've tried that twice before moving on to IVF. But I had a friend who did one round of IVF and then they couldn't afford to do a second round, so they have to go back to IUI, and she ended up getting pregnant actually through the IUI, So like it turned out to be like very exciting, but we realized there's a lot of people that are struggling with this and they're not in a position to maybe act on it as quickly as we were able to. So you said, you're raising money, we want to. Yeah, Like we're trying to come up the both the best way to do it, Like we don't know if we should find an organization or if we should just do like one of those crowd funds or whatever it's called, and just like try to pick a couple of families or what we can do. But that is so kind. It's just it shouldn't be this expensive and insurance and help you, Like, I don't understand how this is not covered or at least partially covered. Well. I think that now that people are speaking up about it, hopefully it does become more mainstream to ask for that or to have that be incorporated into insurance plans or I don't even know how insurance works, but if people keep talking about it and have the courage to make it known that it's a bigger deal than used to be, then hopefully that's that's the way it goes. I want you to talk a little bit about for our listeners who maybe aren't super familiar with the entire process of IVF kind of. You know, there's so much that goes into it that people don't even fathom and understand. So can you talk about the process a little bit, like start to where you are at now and what that entire process looks like. So we tried for twelve months naturally, and then Kevin he, you know, like he struggled with anxiety and so every month it was always like something's wrong with me, something's wrong with me, and like it was eating away at him. So when we hit the twelve month mark, he was like, Okay, they say after twelve months bach of fertility clinic. I was like, I don't think I'm ready. I just wasn't ready to like give up on my body or to feel like I didn't want someone to tell me what was wrong. Figorance is bliss. But so he pushed me to go into the clinic and it was the best thing we did. But it's very time consuming. I think is like the biggest thing that people don't realize. So when you start menstruating on day two or three, you go in and you start with your blood work, your ultrasound, seeing the doctor, the meds, and then you're in there every two to three days to monitor until it's time for you to ovulate. So you're in there for three four hours every two to three days, and it's just it's exhausting because you're emotional because your own meds, and you're there. You just don't want to be there, and we're doing it in the middle of COVID, so Kevin couldn't come. You're just sitting there in a waiting room just like, why is this so difficult? You know? And then it's just a very exhausting process. Can you talk a little bit about So you obviously have to give yourself injections and correct me if I'm wrong. At least when I was going through the egg freezing, they warned me. They're like, okay, when you start giving yourself to these injections, it's basically going to take your body from you know, zero not pregnant to about four months pregnant in the span of a couple of weeks. So your hormones fluctuate. You're gonna be up and down, and you're gonna get bloated, and you're gonna have all these side effects. Did you experience a lot of that, and like, how did you feel knowing like your body changing so quickly because of the hormones and these injections. The hormones were insane, Like I was like a full on psychopath. Like I would just get mad and nothing and start fighting and be like, Okay, like I understand your own hormones because you also just can't be crazy. Yeah, Kevin, you try pumping yourself of all these drugs. Okay, but no, they're really really intense, and like when you're in the clinic, I think they're so used to seeing so many women that they're like, yeah, you might have some mood swings. It was not mood swings on rage. They just like screaming in the corn and it was like, I'm like, why am I screaming? I don't nothing happened, but like I couldn't control it. That it was. That was okay for me. It was probably just terrible for Kevin because he was kind of walking the eggshells a little bit. But um, the floating for me was really really bad afterwards the retrieval, I don't know for you. Yes, I think part of my problem too was working out a lot being slim. I think that was part of why maybe I didn't have as many eggs so when I had to do the retrieval, they put me on this like crazy high fat diet or like I was just eating like cheese and chips and like all the things I loved. But I was like my kind of diet the dinner and it's like I just wanted to smoothie like and I couldn't do for a couple of days. Like I was only allowed to drink gatorade because same what to build up, So you can't drink water because you want the salt to build up. Yeah, just drinking gatorade for you're just like you see yourself like blowing up. It's just so painful because you can't even suck it. You're you're literally like balloon and you're looking at yourself and you're like, oh, young one is a baby and I literally look like I have a baby, but there's no baby inside of me, and I'm just really uncomfortably bloated. Yeah, so I think that was for me. Probably the worst part is the post retrieval. They probably gave you during retrieval the same because they don't do it for everyone I know, but they gave it to me to um the same thing where they're like you can only drink gatorades for a couple of days, and it was I feel your pain. It was miserable. It was you know, like it doesn't sound that bad. I'm sure to our listeners are like, oh whatever, it's gatoring cool. No, it gives you like cotton mouth. You just feel like you're only getting sugar and salted and just I feel your pain and like the fact, like the bloating. You're like when is this going to go down? It's just the most uncomfortable thing. So I feel your pain and like you are a strong ass woman for going through that. Never drink I'm never drinking gator right again? How is this like give kids after a soccer game? This is I wonder like the science and the buy all and like all the things that they had to figure out that women should not have water during this process, Like that is fascinating stuff. Like I am learning so much right now. This is really cool. So obviously there's so many ups and downs that come with this this process. What were some ways that helped you cope throughout at all? Um? I read a lot, especially at the clinic because I was there for so much, Like I went through some really great books, and I feel like that was kind of keep me saying and making the time pass um. I think for us, like the part that sucked was that it was during COVID too, right, so I couldn't have my family come visit. You can't do anything. So for the last four and a half months, we've been in like full lockdown again here in Toronto, and all I do is go to the grocery store and the doctor. So it's kind of hard to pass the time. But we went on a lot of walks, so I feel like Ace was my little emotional supporting animal. We watched a lot of true crime stuff, A Woman after my Own Heart, you know, like it was just true crime walks. Until I did the transfer, I was drinking a good amount of lot I probably should have been, because there was really nothing else to do, and I'm hoping to get pregnant and then I'll have to be sober for nine months. So but we just try to distruct yourselves the best the best that we could. God, you sound like a woman after my own heart. This is why I know I love you. True crime, wine, dogs, all of the things. So like once once you finally have this baby and the world is open up again. I'm coming to Canada. I'm hanging out with you. Kevin could be on baby duty for a hot second. So when you were going through this, obviously it was during COVID, so you couldn't see family and friends. Did were they aware that you were undergoing this or did you guys kind of just keep it between the two of you. Oh, we kind of kept it to ourselves because we didn't want the added pressure of people then asking us about it, you know, because you're just so emotional while you're going through it that likes and everything. I like, I couldn't imagine somebody's saying the wrong factory on the wrong day. I didn't really take it out people. And then my mom has been ready for a grandchild for so long that like we didn't tell our moms until we were starting IBS stuff. So that was like a year and a half probably into everything. And it was after I had the ex topic pregnancy that I was like, Okay, I feel like I need to tell my mom this. I feel like this is like a major medical thing that happened and she should know. And then she was like ready to go doing reiki on me and all it wasn't the medicine. It was the right, the internal healing. But yeah, I told my very best friend, and she was kind of like my therapist. Because the hard part too, is that when I was having bad days, I didn't want to tell Kevin about it because I didn't want to have his good day turn into a bad day because I was having a bad day. So and he couldn't come to the clinics, so I had about twenty five minute drive there and back every time I went, So I always just called my best friend, and sometimes she just complained about her husband, which was a great distraction. Other times I talk about the IVS stuff. Other days we just you know, gossiped or whatever. So that was kind of she really was like a huge part in keeping me saying throughout all of it good, I'm glad that you had somebody, And I love that you said this about you know, it's like it's just a testament to the solid relationship that you and Kevin have where you didn't necessarily want to ruin his day or make his days worse, and I'm sure vice versa. You know, it's all about give and taking a balance. So I'm glad that you still had some some people that you could go to and talk to that could kind of help cope you through this entire process. I mean, I feel like it's difficult for him in a different way because at least it's happening to my body. Right, So I'm at every appointment, I'm talking to the doctor, and I can feel everything that's happening. Even when we were just trying naturally, It's like I knew my body and it's like, Okay, I think my period is coming on to where he just was right like he's just waiting, just a guy going on and like, you know, he'd be so cute about like I'd be like, my beads are kind of sore, Like I think I'm getting my periody goes they could be sore because you're pregnant. He doesn't know that there's a difference between the two, like you just know when you're getting your period. But I felt back for him because he couldn't come and talk with the doctor and he couldn't either, and he couldn't feel everything that was happening. So he's just like also didn't want to ask me at the wrong time of what was going on. Right when when you guys found out? Was it together? Was it like a call? What happened when you found out you were pregnant? So I found out at like four thirty in the morning, like I couldn't sleep, and I had set out to pregnancy tests the night before because like I had read everywhere on like forums and stuff like wait at least eight days, even though the doctor said, wait till fourteen days, come in do the blood work. Do not be on a pregnancy test because you have a you know, like it can be negative, but there could just not be enough H ANDG detected in it yet, So I don't take it, and then if it's negative, you're just gonna be upset. Just wait, And I'm like I can't do that. I bought like six tests like but and so I woke up one morning at like four o'clock and I just tossed and turned and and then like I looked at the clock. I'm like, Okay, screw it, Like I'm gonna go take the test because then if it's negative, like he's sleeping, I can just like go back to sleep and like pretend I didn't take it, and when it turned positive, I like sprinted to the bag him off. He was like, oh my god, what's going on? Okay? I was like, well pregnant, like fucking and shaking. And then it's like five am. He went downstairs to the kitchen and made a whiskey power and basically because I think finally it was just like all at tension just got to go away. He's like, okay, I need a drink. So we like third bagels and coffee and he had a whiskey and we called her moms by like six am. That's so sweet. I love that visual. That's so cute. He like went to the like that's when dads are supposed to do that when the baby's born. They like the cigar and a drink or something. He went, he went nine months early on something to take the edge off. I get it well. And and for all of our listeners who haven't yet checked out your because I mean, you've wrote a whole blog post about this. I think it was with people correct for people. Yeah, yeah, so please go check out Asteroid's instagram because she links it there. But I mean, you you wrote it so well, and I can't wait to follow on. I hope that there's more blog posts to come because I just mean every month, okay, good because I personally like, I mean, I love you and I'm so invested in this baby now and this journey for you, this new journey, if you will. But for our listeners or any woman who is out there who was struggling with their fertility, what is some advice that you would give to them. I think my biggest advice would be not to take no for an answer, you know, like if you have a doctor and you're not getting a good vibe, or like someone's telling you like it's too early, don't worry it. Like no, they don't get to decide when it's too early with your body and with your journey and when you when I have a kid, you know, I mean same as when you grows your eggs. I have so many women messaging me being like I don't have a partner yet, but I know I want to have kids, But how do I know if something's wrong? There is a doctor out there in everyone's city who will take you and who will make sure everything is okay, or at least look to see if there's something you could be doing so then you can plan on that, you know, because having kids later now, like we're all focused on our careers and a million other things and traveling the world. It's not like when my mom had me at twenty one years old, right, And as a woman, your body just changes the older you get. It's just biology. It just happens that way. So just advocate for yourself and don't take no for an answer. And there is always a doctor who when you hear bad news, they're thinking of the next thing that you can do in order to hopefully get good news. I want to ask you this because this actually came up on our podcast last week with our last guest, Leslie. I mean, and she just had her precious little girl in this world, but she underwent some genetic testing prior to her and her partner getting pregnant, and for different reasons. But it's that something that when you began IVF that you and Kevin did. We did the genetic testing on our embryos. So when I did retrieval, I got thirteen eggs. They mixed that with the sperm and then you have to wait five to six days to see if they grow into like the good stage to even be transferable. So out of those thirteen fertilized eggs, we ended up getting six embryos that would have been okay to transfer, and because we had so our doctor I told us, if you just had one or two, like, we just transfer those and we hope for the best. But because we get six, she recommended we get them DNA tested. So we did that and that takes like two weeks to come back. And then out of those six, actually only three of them were good enough embryos that they would want to even transfer, so they froze those and then when my body kind of went through the cycle and a half again to where it was ready, they just bought one out and that's what they ended up transferring, and then we just left two more in the freezer. So you just transferred one embryo. Yeah, we just transferred, okay, okay, but if you did three, you could have triplets potentially or is that not how that works? Yeah, but that just sounds really sad. That was very tiring right now. Gosh, I like, and we said this on the podcast last week. Science is incredible, and the fact that they can test these six embryos to know what ones will take the best and you know, probably have longevity, It just it baffles my mind, Like these little miracle babies. I think it's incredible. The science is crazy, Like even we're doing the i UI stuff and they were like testing Kevin's sperm and then they were like telling me how many they were putting in. I was like, what do you mean there's fifty million? Right? Yeah, crazy, that's how many sperm men have, like, and he was like very proud. He was like, probably like one go around. Wait, I want to ask you this. So out of the three that they were like, okay, these ones are good to go. How did you pick? Were you like, okay, any mini mightey Mo type thing or Manada? So in the States you can pick if you like. They'll tell you you have two boys, one girl, which one do you want to transfer? It's illegal in Canada, so they legally cannot even tell you what gender they transferred until I think week eleven. Okay, so the lab just picked out the one that was genetically the best. So I'm sure I'm going to get like an athlete or like some scientists, or like something really grand. All the money that yea penetically the best. We're expecting big things that have you baby went? Big things? Have you guys started on a nurse? Sure? Or anything fun getting ready for him or home for our nursery is the gym right now. So we're going to try to keep at the gym for as long as possible just because everything here's I mean, it's getting warm around. But like we like her peloton and we like to have that room so his hair. And his dad is like such a handyman. He like fixed a bunch of stuff in this house for us. So we're gonna wait till they come in August and just have them like do it all, like wallpaper, build a closet, like do it all. Okay, Well that's a cute family project. I love the well, you never know if this baby's going to be an athlete or like a World fitness OLYMPI like trainer olympian. Just the gym you know, will be its place. Have you you know, I know that you just announced this a few days ago, so I'm sure it's like so much to take in. But has anyone I'm sure you've got some wild dms, like what's the most questionable advice that somebody has sent to you thus far? You know what we told people, we don't want to find out the gender, and I don't know why everybody feels the need to tell me what I'm having. Like they're like I posted an ultrasound and everyone's like, it's a boy, it's a girl, Like there's something to see, Like I know you guys all have theories based on pendulums, you swing over your belly and crazy stuff. But it's like I told you, I don't want to know. I don't understand why you're telling me pore or a girl because opposite of what we want. I'm sure there's also people who are like psychics out there and they're like, oh, it's a girl, and you're like, again, I don't want to know, but thank you. Oh you're guessing on a fifty fifty chance, you know. Like, well, Catherine, I'm glad that we have you one because I obviously can't give any parenting advice unless it's with a dog. But is there any any advice that you would give to Kevin and Nashville at this point as they're prepping the four parenthood? Well, I would just say be present, be present in every stage because, like you know, you are blessed to be able to have a baby and do it the way that you know. You and Kevin get to deliver a baby naturally, and it's I mean, whatever way that people have their family plan, it's beautiful. And as long as you're present in each situation and each stage of life, you're going to get so much out of it, even in the hard stuff, even in waking up really late. Be present in that because it goes by really fast, and some people really just want They yearn to be woken up at two am with a baby, they yearn to change a dirty diaper. So I feel like just being present and being appreciative of everything that happens gives you a really cool perspective throughout the whole journey. That's amazing. That's great advice. Thank you. One thing that I've heard again, not to me, but heard to other expecting parents, is that people always say sleep when the baby sleeps. Catherine, in your experience, does that happen? I mean, you are liking your first trimester. You will be narcoleptic for sure, and when the baby needs you, it will wake you up. But no, I mean, there were so many things to do when the baby was sleeping that you're like, oh, I can finally get up and go pee and the baby's not on me. Or whatever. But also those those cuddles with the baby's sleeping on you, that's a good time to be awake too, because you just want to enjoy it and savor it. And I mean the first part of after having the baby, it's going to be such a crazy, like delirious alternate reality, but it's so loving and if you can try to sleep when the baby sleeps, but you will be you will be awoken constantly. One of our most people tell me is like, sleep now, because it's going to be over and your best friend will be like, if you can get one more vacation in go on vacation because you will never not be like for someone else or word about. Yeah, pregnancy is very fun. I will say pregnancy is a really cool time because it's you and the baby and it's like this special time. You know you're feeding it right, you know you're it's sleeping the way that it should be, like you don't have to worry about it. But I mean everything about just being a mother, whatever stage that is afterwards, during um, if you're going to adopt, like everything is such a cool experience and like you said, everyone's story is so unique that every every story is beautiful in its own way. So I'm just really excited for you. Guys. It's gonna be so cool. You're gonna be so happy and just every everything is going to be I'm just so excited for you. I am too, I am too well Astraight, we have to play a game with you, because we love to play a game with all of our guests. And I'm you know, I'm sure like, like you don't have enough going on right now with growing this tiny human. We'll take it easy for the rest of this podcast. So we are going to get into this game. So, Catherine, if you want to explain it to us, Yeah, okay. So one of the funnest things about being a parent is seeing how your partner handles this new role, their new you know, new stage of life. And so we're gonna ask you some questions and you have to tell us which parent you think the question is the answer too. So who do you think will be stricter me? Which parent will spoil the baby more? Kevin? Okay? Which or who will change the most diapers? Probably me? Want to do it is because I'm in control for you, because I like doing it wrong. To start, you have to like start betting and like building it up, like you know, if if you lose this bet, Kevin has to change the next seven diapers or something. So like if there's throw up and when the kids throw up later in life, you can handle them throw up. I can do too. Only one end, only one end? Who do too? Well? This is kind have a hard question is obviously you know, unless you're not breastfeeding, Yeah, whatever you choose. Yeah, who is more likely to do two am feedings? I would say me. I'm hoping I'll be able to breastfeed. I mean, we'll figure it out when the time comes. But what I've heard from my friends is that sometimes breastfeeding is just like easier. It's just right there. It's just easier getting anything else or warming up a bottle or whatever. To him that I've heard, Okay, um, he did mention if he could breastfeed himself, he would. Well, that's a trooper, that's a good that's a true partner right there. It is fun, I will say, But anyways, who will saying the baby lullabies? I will who was a better voice between you and Kevin? I don't think I've ever heard him sing like really being not even in the shower. Okay, that's something. Is a good singing voice? Yeah? Good enough for love it either way, that wasn't part of the game. I'm just curious. Who's more nervous about delivery? Definitely me? Yeah? Who who will make the baby bottles show him? Who will ask the doctor more questions? Me? Because he doesn't get to come to the appointments? Yeah, hopefully hopefully soon. I mean obviously he'll be there for delivery. Correct. Will they let him be part of any of the ultrasounds later on? Um? Not right now, but um there's like the three d ultrasound places you can go to and they usually allow one person to come with, So we're gonna so he can be part of it. Totally nice? Yeah? Um? Who will cry on the first day of school? Me? Who will teach the baby about the birds and the bees? About how mommy and daddy met and made him? I want to hear Kevin's version though for really maybe depends on who kid bonds with more about that kind of stuff. See, I don't know, the baby could get too wildly different stories here. I'd be interested to see who will show the baby more dance moves. Me doesn't dance and he doesn't sing. Really, that is so surprising, I know. Yeah. Who will do the most baby talk? I think neither. Maybe me. I guess I did with a's a little bit here and there. They respond to it. Baby talk is there for a reason. I will say. It's not just annoying for other adults. It's like good for their brain or something. So just know that. Who will be more patient? Me? Definitely me. Who will take more photos? You probably can't him? Really? Yeah, features of dogs. I can only imagine he's gonna take so many beautiful pictures? Are you sleeping with the baby on you all excited? Terrible pictures of me? And beautiful pictures I doubt that, like a shoe. Yeah. Picture someone on Instagram and I'm like, why don't you take keep pictures like this of me? And they took a picture of me and he's like this is what time. I was like, okay, that's fair. Can we expect a baby Canada? Oh my gosh, I can't talk. A baby cameo in Paradise one day, Oh babe, I will Kevin's the bartender for the Canadian bathroom. He's right, we'll probably bring the baby to We just get different accommodations, right, you know what I'm picturing? Uh, what's the movie Hangover where he has baby Carlos, you know, strapped on him in the front. I can just picture Kevin like pupping up all the cocktails and nice little margharita with baby went hanging there, just chilling. This has been discussed for his bachelor part. Absolutely not with your friends side question, how do you feel do you think you'll have a separate baby Instagram? No, I don't. I mean for the people that do it, great, I don't see us like talking from the baby's perspective, Like we have the page with the dog, and I'm sure we'll just it's it'll be like a family page, just because I feel like I'm sure you guys know like Instagram for me isn't as fun anymore. I feel like it's more fun now that I get to kind of talk about this kind of stuff. But you're always thinking about a campaign or this or that or posting fill a picture for the next campaign. So like we have our little family page that we started for the dog will post on there and that's just like a fun one where we don't have to think about what we're doing. I get it. Well. It's like sometimes Instagram is just its hard, Like it's hard to keep up your own page, let alone a dog or another human or a business, whatever it might be. It's a lot. So I totally get exactly dressed and done up. How do you people do that? I know? Yeah yeah, especially as a new parent, I can't even imagine. But but Asteroid, we are so excited to follow along on you and Kevin's journey too. I can't wait to read your future blog posts and to just see all of the changes that you get to go through and share with us whatever that might be. And to finally welcome this little baby into the world one day is going to be absolutely incredible. So we are so thrilled. We are here to support you in whatever you need. You know, you always have friends in a place in us, so don't hesitate to reach out. And so for all of our listeners, if they don't already know where to find you or follow you, please let them know where they can go. My Instagram is just asked to walk, and then Kevin's is just Kevin went. I think is there seeing it in there? Oh? I think there is? Yet the gang is the is the family page the family Affair Well, Astroon, thank you so much for joining us today. I mean, you are a busy woman. You now have so many new things added to your plate, so we appreciate you just taking the time in an hour to chat with us and Philliston on all of this IVF journey. And I can imagine how much this has helped some of our listeners. So thank you, um and You've been an absolute joy to have. Thanks guys, thanks for having me. She's so calming, m she like seems so confident in herself. I like that. I know, I she's I've only met her once, but she is someone that I've heard nothing but incredible things about in Vachel Nation. I love when women can just talk about their bodies and not feel ashamed or like they can't say so certain things in public or on the podcast. Like no, like, all of our bodies are made up of the same things. We all go through similar things, you know, a little bit different sometimes, but we all have periods. We all, I'm sure struggle with issues in fertility or whatever it might be. And so the fact that she is just so confident about it and can share it with all of our listeners is incredible, and I'm glad that we had her on it this time because obviously Paradise is going to be filming and airing very soon, and it's just another success story from the show from Paradise, And like, yeah, her and Kevin didn't leave in the traditional manner. They didn't get engaged on the show, but they made it work post show and have such a solid, strong, great relationship that people you know, like I can look up to. And so I can't wait to see boy or girl. I can't wait to see hopefully this healthy little baby brought into the world, and to just hear more about her story with IBF, because I think it's so important to be yeah and again, to be able to speak about the like freezing your eggs or IVF. It also gives people that didn't have certain experiences a better understanding of how to listen and how to talk and what verbiage to use that's not triggering or hurtful. So because you can't, like before, I'm sure everybody that wasn't talk nobody was talking about their troubles. So people just were like, oh, I can talk about things freely, not knowing it would hurt someone's feelings. So like Mother's Day tread lightly, you have to figure out like, okay, well some people want to be mothers. So I think there's just this now there's a better narrative for women to really have empathy for other people that had different experiences. If you can't have a child, some people want to adopt, some people don't. So I just love hearing everybody's take on motherhood, parents if they don't want children, even, Like it's so cool to just be able to know, hey, we're all different. We can agree to disagree on everything, and I want to hear your story and that's always I want to share it. Yeah, exactly, And that's what is so great. I mean, one of my favorite things about this podcast is to have people on, Like, yes, it's a bachelor podcast, but we don't always just have to recap the show. We can have people on to swap stories and to share either similar or different scenarios of things that we're going through in life. And I think it's it's really important and like that's what keeps life going right. Yeah, I mean I went to school. I'm from Seattle obviously, and I went to school at like a very conservative, like rural place, and I just heard things and learned that, you know, even though I didn't agree with certain things, they're still humans and you still talk to them the same way. So it's just refreshing to be able to have conversations, take it for what they are, and try to learn from each other. Yeah. Exactly, well, said Catherine. That is why I have such a great co host sees weeks with me. And so thank you for joining again this week, and a huge thank you to Ask for joining us and being so open with us, and for all of our listeners, thank you. As always, you guys, please keep writing to us and letting us know your thoughts. You can find us at badgelor Happy Hour on Instagram and at Badge Happy Hour on Facebook and Twitter. And as always, if you never want to miss an episode, please subscribe to our podcast right now. You can do that on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the One, Dire app, or wherever you're listening to our voices right now. Take care, talk next week. Bye,