Cindy: Finding Home and Vacation in Mel | Happy Hour

00:00:01
Speaker 1: What's going on? Everybody? Welcome back to the Basher Happy Hour.

00:00:04
Speaker 2: You here with me and Joan Fassos. We're filling in for Joe and Serena this week and we are here with the beautiful Cindy Cohlers.

00:00:13
Speaker 3: Oh hello.

00:00:15
Speaker 4: I am so excited to have you on that we get to interview you up all weeks that Joe and Serena are gone. They're like gone on this week. And I have You've been like my soulmate through this whole journey because you are a fellow nerd. I was a computer science major in college and wrote code, and you were a biomedical engineer, and then we both kind of retired when we raised our kids. So I just feel like we have so much in common and I've been dying to talk to you.

00:00:41
Speaker 3: I love that geeked forever.

00:00:43
Speaker 1: Yes, I can't wait. You guys and my mom.

00:00:45
Speaker 2: My mom's a double major in bio and ken so I'm very familiar with at all.

00:00:49
Speaker 4: We're gonna love her, I can't.

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Speaker 3: We love her. We love what happened. One day she could be part of our club.

00:00:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, she would love it, eat it up.

00:00:56
Speaker 4: Nerds rule the world. So that's the truth.

00:00:58
Speaker 1: I agree.

00:00:59
Speaker 4: Okay, So I think we should probably just start by getting to know you a little bit and like maybe just tell the audience like where you're from, kind of what you do and how you ended up on the Bachelor, because that's always a freaky story.

00:01:11
Speaker 3: That you're right. So, yeah, I'm Cindy. I live here in Austin, Texas. Literally this is this is my place. There is the river right there. I've lived here for thirty years and raise my kids here. I'm a biomedical engineer who got into medical aesthetics after I trained, after I trained my kids, after I grew my kids up, and I've been divorced seven years, and I think my kids just really were happy and anxious for me to find love. So in April of this year, my youngest daughter decided to sign me up for the show and to take it back a little bit further. In January of this year, I made a deal with the universe, with God to just say yes to the opportunities in front of me. You know, we have a tendency, especially as you get busy, like, oh, you know, it's not a good time for me, Let's do it next time, or I'll circle back. And I just kept putting off life, and just in January, I just decided it's time just to say yes. So this is my year of saying yes, and the opportunities that has brought me, and the joy and happiness and the memories that's brought me. I just encourage everyone to start their lifetime of saying yes. So Caroline, my little one, signed me up for the show, and it was just kind of like, yes, of course, I'll do it. And it's never that easy because you go through all the interview process and I thought, there's no listen, there's no way they're going to pick this girl from Austin, Texas. What am I going to do on this show? And we get a little deeper and I'm like, well, the taping seems to be a problem for us. My middle daughter is getting married. I can't change that, and the taking dates don't work out, I can't go on the show. There was just a million reasons that the universe should have said no to this. Yeah, and I had.

00:03:03
Speaker 4: The same story. I had the exact same thing. I like just wasn't ready to date, wasn't doing anything to make my life better. It was just kind of in, you know, just go along with life and let it just happen around you. And I started saying like I got to do things that scare me, like I need to go to weddings as a single person, and I need to just do the things that make me uncomfortable. And one of them was doing the show and I did the same thing. Also, dates didn't work out. My daughter had a baby eight days before I was supposed to be on the show, and I was like, if anything happens and she's late or something happens like with the baby, I won't be able to go on the show. But the universe just aligned. Sounds like it.

00:03:38
Speaker 2: Was this this is Golden Bachelor.

00:03:41
Speaker 4: Yeah wow. Yeah so when I was a cousin like I was you, I was a contestant on the show.

00:03:45
Speaker 3: Yeah so like yeah two days after filming, I left for Italy for the wedding.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

00:03:51
Speaker 3: So it was it was like back to back and you just you just have to say this, Unlike you, I was dating a lot. I think I've I've tallied like one point two million men that I've dated, So I wasn't scared of be.

00:04:04
Speaker 1: Was what was missing beforehand?

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Speaker 2: What like why did all these people but not a single person, because I'm in a similar boat right now. I'm finally back out on the market, dating around, and I'm like trying to figure out what it is that I want and don't want. What is it that was like not letting you find that person?

00:04:19
Speaker 3: You know, I'm everybody's picky, Listen, we have our things. I'm not. I'm not that picky, to be honest, But there was always one thing or another like this. I dated a great man, just probably my most recent relationship, and he just wanted a little compartment of his life to share with me, and I kind of want the whole thing I want. I want the family. I want to be involved with his career. I want to, you know, be there on a Tuesday as well as on this Saturday and for the big events. And I have other men who, uh may have a different viewpoint of what family looks like. And my family is super important to me, and I promised them I don't want to bring anyone in to our family that will mess up the magic that we have. So there's always been you know what, Geography is not a problem. I can move. I live here by myself. All my kids have grown and flown, the blown the nest, so moving has not been a problem, but if you're not in the same city, it's hard to get to know each other. And Jonathan you might have experienced that too. It's all the stars have to align.

00:05:23
Speaker 2: Yep, couldn't agree more cool both, Yeah, thank you, and then off of that as well. So obviously dating pre show didn't go as planned. But when you found out that you were going on the show, how did your like friends and family react? I know you said your daughter signed you up with she stoked. Were like the grandkids or just kids in general? Like, were they excited for you?

00:05:46
Speaker 4: What did your friends say? I think it was so much fun, like telling my group of friends that I was doing this. What were they excited for you? What did they think? Were your kids like, oh my god, mom, this is gonna be so embarrassing.

00:05:57
Speaker 3: Oh they were like, don't just don't kiss them? And I was like, guys, I'm not looking for a roommate.

00:06:04
Speaker 4: I might have to kiss them.

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Speaker 3: I kind of want to kiss them. If I don't want to kiss them, then one of my prod I'm waying there. It's a problem, Like it is not really what you want for me. But my kids were super supportive, and again, they want me to find love, they want me to be happy, and my friends do too. But my friends were like, well, of course that's what you're doing. Just I'm just a bold person and I end up finding myself in crazy circumstances. And most of them said they could never do it, that, putting yourself out there this way, and I would determine to be vulnerable, to be authentic, to just show my real stuff on this show. It's hard and a lot of people would be uncomfortable with that.

00:06:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. So how did you prepare for it?

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Speaker 3: Then?

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Speaker 2: Like, how did you get ready to come on here and just put yourself out there like that?

00:06:53
Speaker 3: Prepare for it? What are you talking about? I had a wedding, I was I was also deep is like what Flower Arrangements were doing, And so I had two sets of suitcases. I had my Italy suitcase for the wedding and I had my my bachelor And honestly, you just let go at that moment, and it was more important for me to prepare my heart more than preparing for my gowns and what I was going to wear, and just yeah, you know, deciding to jump in.

00:07:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Well.

00:07:26
Speaker 4: You killed it on the gowns, so I think you did both of them really well.

00:07:30
Speaker 3: Thank you coming, thank you, No.

00:07:33
Speaker 4: I'm telling you you had beautiful Oh your clothes were all beautiful. I loved every dress. Plus you look really good and clothes, so that does help obviously. So let's talk about night one. Let's just kind of jump in, like we're talking about evening gowns. I know both Jonathan and I have done it. I don't think Jonathan has a shy bone in his body, so I'm not going to even like, say, were you nervous? So let's you and I talk about being nervous, because I know Jonathan wasn't.

00:07:54
Speaker 3: Well.

00:07:54
Speaker 4: First of all, I came out like I was nervous, had any clothes on?

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Speaker 2: I'm confident in my body. I don't know if I'm confident in my night walk of So that's different.

00:08:07
Speaker 4: Very well, now you're old, you're old, your experience experience again?

00:08:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, now, yeah, the second time we only knew, right if we only know?

00:08:16
Speaker 4: I know, but that first time getting out of that limo, first of all, like were you terrified? Like how was it getting out of the limo? And what did you think of mel when you first saw him.

00:08:27
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, so you guys can both relate. Like, they don't tell you where you are in the line up. So we we load up, we're in the limo and we're driving to the mansion and they're like, well, Soddy, you will be the first one out of the limo. Yeah, And my entire limbo group was like, h thank god, it's not us.

00:08:54
Speaker 4: The last one.

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Speaker 3: I don't know which is worse.

00:08:57
Speaker 1: You have to wait.

00:09:00
Speaker 2: One hundred percent the best one because there's nothing to judge you on, and they're very excited to start the night.

00:09:05
Speaker 3: I wish I had that perspective. I did not have that perspective. I was terrified, incredibly nervous. And then I thought, So you drive up and you you can't really see Mel through the window. It's it's blackened out. But I see his hair and I see his shirt, and I noticed like he's taller, he's he's he has a big present. Yeah that I really by the way, it's on my checklist, check jet. And so you're excited about it and then you open the door and honestly, Mel just draws you in. He's got laser beams for eyes, and he's so engaging and charming and handsome. So you know, once you get into the moment, it's it's it is great.

00:09:49
Speaker 4: Yes, take you the first fifteen seconds and then you're like, Okay, I could do this.

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Speaker 2: Did you ignore the thirty cameras that are like right behind you as you walk up at first, because that's all I could pay attention to them.

00:09:59
Speaker 3: I think if you don't ignore them, you could have never gotten into a bikini and rolled around on the surf like we did.

00:10:07
Speaker 4: Seriously, Oh I love that day.

00:10:09
Speaker 3: That was you just literally it was like you, but you have to like you just have I committed from the first step, the first step onto the mansion driveway that I'm here for for mel and for me and for for the women, which was a big surprise for me. But you're here for the experience, and you got to let go of who's watching and what they're going to say about you.

00:10:34
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got to go all in. So you just you just made a funny comment you said, I didn't know I was here for the women. That was a surprise. So you walk in, you were y'all.

00:10:43
Speaker 3: Were faking it. You're faking it on your shows.

00:10:46
Speaker 1: It's that makes the entire difference of the show.

00:10:51
Speaker 4: It's crazy. So you were the parting in there, so you got to welcome people kind of coming in. Who did you kind of bond with on night one? Did you find your friend on the first night?

00:11:01
Speaker 3: Yes, I found twenty two of them, and twenty two of them honestly, Mylene was in my limo, super close. Tracy who let Tracy and Lisa went home the first day. Carla, I gravitated immediately to Nicole. She and I just sat down and had a great conversation. And then Robin. Once Robin and I met, we were magnetized. We were inseparable and just wanted to sit on her lap. Just where's Robin? If you want to find a picture of me, I'm next to Robin. That's how I look for it. And there's also Jerry was so sweet. I didn't get to know her the first night. Or Carol or Terry. Those were They're all great. Those were three that snuck up on me. And Carol in the end was such a surprise to me, Like, yeah, I love her, but everybody flocked to her the first night, so I didn't have my chance to get to know her as well. Oh yeah, and there's.

00:12:01
Speaker 4: A long list of them I know. And Jerry lives in my hometown. She lives like right down the road for me. I haven't met her yet, which is crazy.

00:12:07
Speaker 1: I don't.

00:12:08
Speaker 4: Yeah, she lives in Rockville, Maryland. My dress is Rockville, Maryland. I mean we are like neighbors. So I have to figure out how to get a hold of her and like meet up and have dinner or something.

00:12:16
Speaker 3: We will figure that out. I haven't think that that should not be a problem. And you will be thick as thieves. She is. She has.

00:12:24
Speaker 4: It's so funny. And I'm going to be in Austin in a couple weeks. I'm going to look you up.

00:12:28
Speaker 3: Oh yes, for sure. Yeah, I can't wait.

00:12:38
Speaker 4: Okay, So let's so. I love talking about like the first night in the mat in the mansion, and I could talk about probably every episode with you, because there's things that, like I would love to rehash, but I really like to get into the episode that we're talking about, which is episode five, and that was a really big one for you. And first of all, I loved the conversation in the beginning of this episode that you were having with Carol, because neither one of you had had a one on one date yet, and you both stakes were really high, like this was probably the most important day that you had because this like kind of determines whether you're going to go on or not, possibly because it's hard to move on if you haven't had a one on one date, right. So I love the conversation though, because Carol was feeling very not confident and she was expressing that to you and you were saying, no, yours is just kind of a slow burn. But now you guys are in like hyper mode and you know you could certainly get you could certainly get the one on one date, and you were just pumping her up, and that's just like so kind of you because obviously this is like an important day for you also. So I just want to say, first of all, I love that you did that, and that shows how important the relationships in the house really become.

00:13:46
Speaker 2: So you were it was a great moment, and we were talking about it beforehand too, and I was like, I know, I went through something similar when I was going through the process where I'm very aware of everybody around.

00:13:56
Speaker 1: Me, almost before I am of myself.

00:13:58
Speaker 2: And it seemed like when you got that one on one rather than just completely being like, yes, I got it, I did that, like you're you got emotional, I think, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, because you know this girl that you care for and Carol didn't get the chance to get this and you knew how much it meant to her. But also you want to celebrate yourself at the same time, and watching you kind of navigate through that that feeling in those products like it was it was a really fun and just like sweet moment to watch as you kind of reassured her as you also celebrated yourself.

00:14:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's both sides of it. You know. You you have a group of women who are left. You've got Cheryl who got the first one on one with mel and clearly their relationship has grown. He's kept her around and he wants to have more time with her. You've got Debbie who had her one on one and she's still around. You've got Peg So it's like a litany if you don't have that one on one. You know I did, I did get a rose, and Carol did get a rose, but it didn't come with extra time like Nichole's did. So that time is what's important and Carol and I are very aligned in how we see our family, and we don't introduce people to our family often, and so going to having a one on one date is essential, not just for mel to know us, but for us to, yeah, help know if we want to bring somebody into our family's lives.

00:15:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, And your collective time with him at this point is ours.

00:15:25
Speaker 2: Like you like, how I know I've talked to him for forty two minutes.

00:15:31
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's talk about that a little bit. So you've you said many of your interviews that you felt like you were developing strong feelings for him, but we saw very little of your interaction with him real, really very little, and so I'm kind of wondering, like, how did you really feel about your relationships? Did you really feel like you were taking the steps to get to a good place. Did you feel pretty confident?

00:15:53
Speaker 3: Mel and I would start a conversation and within a breath would be covering ten topics. Our relationship is absolutely effortless. When he was named as Golden Bachelor, my oldest daughter was the first one to discover it, and she texted me immediately and called me and said, Mom, I think they picked him for you. Mel Is uniquely designed to be in a relationship with me, and so I was not surprised with this, and I leaned into it. And early on, you know, I knew enough about him and I needed to explore the chemistry. Check check. Now we're looking at compatibility. It's going very well. But yeah, my conversations with him ended up on the editing room floor, and it's fine that happens. It's a short show. But there's no question that he and I are aligned and had easy, effortless deep conversations. Yeah, even we started talking about what books are you reading? Imagine how much ground you have to cover in order to get to what books do you read?

00:17:03
Speaker 2: Conversation, you address some of my concerns too, Like from the outside in, he seems like a very stoic man of few words, Like doesn't really open up much about his feelings towards any of the women. You know, he talks about himself being like uneasy, or there's a lot of friction in his life, or these different things. But the reassurance of like, hey, I'm interested in you. Did you get a lot of that from him?

00:17:27
Speaker 3: He always is super generous to me, and just in the subtle things He's not the type of man Jonathan to your to your comment to say, oh I like you better than X y Z. That's just that's just not who he's ever going to be. And if you asked him to do it, that would you don't know. You don't know mel very well.

00:17:50
Speaker 1: If you pushed him into that, you're asking him to be something that he's not.

00:17:53
Speaker 3: He's not. He's not And nor did I want him or need him to be. As long as I was there, it meant I was interested. If he still kept me along and meant he was interested. And we're just going to take every moment, every sip may make it a gulp on our one online, but we were going to just take every chance to to explore.

00:18:13
Speaker 2: It because is if you understand him like you understand who he is and how he communicates, and you were able to read between the lines, you need that verbal reassurance all the time.

00:18:22
Speaker 3: It was very intentional on our with our time together and at every every little moment I've caught him at the pool party. Pool party was interesting for me, Right, I let's talk about pool party for doing this.

00:18:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, to the drama of Nicole eventually anyways.

00:18:39
Speaker 4: So yeah, so I don't mind diving right into that. Because so tell tell us about the pool party. I mean, we weren't there. You were experiencing it for hours. We saw minutes of it, but clearly like there were some uncomfortable moments, like even watching it on TV. I said, I had my five year old gandson was laying with me that night and he was like turned away from the TV, and I was like, yeah, he can't watch this, Like this is a lot.

00:19:01
Speaker 3: Everybody has their journey and everybody has their path, and Nicole and mel had chemistry for sure, There's no doubt about it. It's not a choice that many of us would have made. And I think we've made that very clear. Nicole and I are friends. I told her how I felt about it. She knows, and I'm fine with where she is. She's fine with where I am. So that's not the problem. What I think wasn't really explored on this show is it wasn't just that we wanted to change Nicole's behavior. Many of us were wondering, is this the type of man that we would choose? And would my man allow this access to him under these circumstances, And so you know, Jared, I thought about I thought about you as I was reflecting and trying to process this, Like what would that be like to be in a situation where you've got twenty three men throwing themselves at you? And would you always be your best? Would you always be you know? I like to say, I want to be the I want to behave in the way that my future husband will be proud of me. So if he is in that group, would he be proud? And would Mel have been proud of the way he behaved knowing that his future person was there, And so that that's really where I was coming at it, And I had to I had to come to a point of grace with Mel. It's a new circumstance for sure. It's a completely out of body experience.

00:20:37
Speaker 1: The right way to do it. And this is the first time too.

00:20:40
Speaker 3: You know, it's and so we just I just found a moment of grace for him and.

00:20:46
Speaker 4: For Nicole too.

00:20:47
Speaker 3: Listen, they they have chemistry together, There's no doubt about it. So you just, you know, you just have to see it for what it is. And that's at the end of the day, how I choose to see it. And I chose to see it at that day.

00:21:02
Speaker 4: You are very kind, and I felt like watching it on TV was uncomfortable, so I thought being there was twenty times more uncomfortable. Yeah, and I felt like it was even uncomfortable for Mel. It didn't look like he was really embracing it. I feel like I'm getting a little glimpse into Mel that I haven't had yet. So I appreciate it, like helping us with this Cindy, because I think, like everybody wants to see that he's so stoic and he doesn't really reveal a lot about himself, which kind of brings me a little bit to your date. And you, guys, now you've ridden, so first of all, you ribed and your cowboy boots. I love that about you. You're embracing your Texas. You're letting him know who you are and like you know what's important to you and like where you're from. Okay, and he seems to really like it, like he thinks it's pretty sexy and cute. So and you just happened to look adorable, like being a text as you you got to be on a horse that he was super uncomfortable with, which I kind of gave you a little bit of upper hand. He was like, no, I'm a professional football player, nothing scares me. And yet he couldn't control that horse to save his life, which was so funny, and you were so comfortable in it. So but really the thing and I loved that part of the date. But I really loved when you guys finally got to your destination and you got to sit down and you got to talk about yourself and you got to like kind of tell him like who you really are. And obviously he knew some stuff about you. You know, you reflected on that you were this biomedical engineer, soh my god, you're a super smart, beautiful woman, and then you were a valedictorian, and then you were a cheerleader. You had it all going for you, such a badass. Also had such a badass. We love that about you. But then you also had these other parts of life that didn't go perfectly. And one of the things that you sounded like was such a huge disappointment was all you wanted was a stable family for your daughters and for you, and you ended up with a marriage going bad, and you talked about that on national TV to this man, and I really so much wanted for him to give that back to you, and we're all like anxious to hear it. We all want to hear We all want to love mel, we all want to like he's like this successful guy. None of us are going you know this poor guy. He deserves another chance at love. He hasn't led us into that part of his life. And that was the perfect time. How did you feel when you opened up and then he didn't give it back to you?

00:23:19
Speaker 3: It was very disappointing, I'll be honest, like for me to be that vulnerable, I expected a little bit more back from him. And if he doesn't want to share with me perhaps about his history, maybe give me more reassurance as to where I am in his world? Right? And I didn't get I really, I honestly didn't get either. And I know that people might look at these one on Mondays frankly the whole show and believe that it's we're trying to woo Mel. Well, that's only part of it. I'm living my life. This is Cindy's life.

00:23:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, you need to feel weued as well.

00:23:58
Speaker 3: That's right. And he did wooy, he got on a horse. You've never been on a horse. I don't know if you know it, he's allergic to horses.

00:24:07
Speaker 1: Did not know that one.

00:24:09
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, you still not know that? Huh.

00:24:13
Speaker 3: I still thought that would be a fun date. His feet were so big he can't put his foot in the stirrup, so he just had his toe in the stirrup. So I could tell how much she was he was giving me in those things, but he wasn't verbalizing any vulnerability to me or giving me any emotionals. So I'm I'm balancing between you know, can one replace the other? And I think you need I think you need both.

00:24:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that goes back to the having to read between the lines that I talked about earlier. It's like, yes, you can, and it seems as if you had the ability to. But there are moments, there are these little moments where you're like I need more sometimes like it's such a rush process. We talked about like I've known you for a few hours, like spent as much time with you where you have this time Now you got this one on one, Like yeah, you got over the other women.

00:25:05
Speaker 1: That's not the basis of what you're worried about.

00:25:07
Speaker 2: You're worried about getting to develop your relationship more with this individual that you.

00:25:11
Speaker 1: Have a lot of feelings for.

00:25:13
Speaker 2: It's okay to feel those feelings, and like part of me wishes you kind of put it to him a little bit where you're just like, hey, tell me, like just like open up, you know what I mean? And he seems like they kind of kind of needs that push a little bit sometimes.

00:25:27
Speaker 4: Yeah, he needs to be he needs to be coached. Me need to be coached a little bit.

00:25:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, not that you want him to be different than who he is. You want him to express who he is.

00:25:34
Speaker 3: And yeah, for sure, And a kiss cannot replace that verbal and getting to know each other. It just they can't. A kiss cannot replace the vulnerability that you need in a relationship. A part of it is I'm thinking that he's waiting until we have time together, just the two of us. And that's what I'm reading at the moment. Yeah, by away, I keep giving him grace, don't I You see a common theme. I keep letting him off the hook. I know, I know, and you know it's a difficult position for him to be in. Two is it's uncomfortable. I'm having to make my decisions as well.

00:26:15
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I feel like like people need to understand that every single day is a leap of faith, because like I like, we're all saying, you spend so little time with the person, and so that going to the next day and say, am I willing to spend time away from my home and my family and my job and my loved ones and my own bed and the comforts of my life to be here one more day with this person? And I keep making this leap of faith. Okay, this is another leap of faith every single day. But when you come down to like final six people, now we've had one similar, you know, an elimination, so it's down to the final five people, Like how many leaps of faith can you keep doing till you think, Okay, now I'm just being stupid, and so like I need something back, you know, I need more back to make me take the leap one more day, And like were you getting it from that data? I mean, it was really cute that he gave you the little thing that he named the star after you. But like sometimes I feel like bachelor introduces props because the person is having a hard time like saying the heart, like saying the emotional things or doing the emotional things. So they introduced a prop and that prop was that thing that he named the Star of Cindy, which was cute, and it did say in love mail at the bottom, and he did read it to you like was that enough of a replacement for you? Or is that? Did that give you enough to make the next leap of faith?

00:27:41
Speaker 3: I'll be honest, My first test with him was chemistry. Yeah. My second test with him is compatibility and comfort. Could I be in his presence and not be nervous? And then there's a compatibility of can he integrate into my life and is willing to let me integrate into his after seven years of being divorced and on my own? Like yeah, really, now reppers hitting the road or the hoofs are hitting the trail? Yeah right, this is real and it's real to him and real scary to him. But it's the first time I've really been confronted with that voice as well. Yeah, that's well, I means like full vulnerability with you too.

00:28:28
Speaker 4: I said that the whole time during my season kind of every rose ceremony, I said, this is a two way street, Like I can offer you a rose, you don't have to take it if you don't feel like I'm the right person for you. You need to say no, like open up the dialogue. It's not a one way street. But let's talk rose heremony because here we are, we get a rose ceremony. And this is a big one because this is, like they said, oh, super important. Yeah, it's super important because this is when you're home to meet your for you to meet, for him to meet your family and your girls. And I know it sounds like your girls are your life and I the same thing with my kids, and so you're going to this rose ceremony. He called your name first.

00:29:06
Speaker 3: Again, have you been noticing?

00:29:08
Speaker 4: I have been noticing, as a matter of fact, And you seemed very happy. So I feel like you took the next leap. You did that leap of faith again and he gave you enough to want for you to introduce him to your family.

00:29:25
Speaker 3: Sometimes I believe that my family, Bourcher and my friends are the best mirror for me, the best and knowing that he would have a chance to see where I live, to see why I live here, this was a big, bold change in my life. And it's important that the man that I bind myself with understands that I'm fully capable of making big, bold moves and seeing and meeting my family because everybody says their kids are special, and they are, but my family is it's unique, and uh, it's all my son in laws tell me. It's a lot. So I have that family that's ais and and so you like you really I needed them. I needed them to meet Mel and to help me, help to be my mirror and to look at him and reflect him into our lives. And then I also needed Mel to see my family and where I live and my life's also it was an important next step. I still wasn't there, Mal, it was still not I mean, he's got all these women in tow It's it's a tough decision. It's a big step to my kids haven't met a new man in years. I know, that's one point two million people. That's all I had.

00:30:54
Speaker 1: For it.

00:30:55
Speaker 4: I know, what do you think about that? He like, I'm just trying to thinkgure out his type. And I've said this over and over again. I mean, Debbie and Peg and you all seem so different. I couldn't figure out who he was going to choose. Like I didn't think he was going to choose Nicole, but I thought he might choose Cheryl like she was a possibility. I didn't really know because I can't figure him out. He just gives so little that I have no idea what his type is.

00:31:23
Speaker 3: Mel said from the beginning he doesn't really know either, and that this process of going through the Golden Bachelor is his way of finding finding out and trying on different types of personalities and different types of lifestyles. And it's fair, you know, there is a big divergence with the three of us, and yet there's a lot in common. You know, there's three very loving women who all are committed, and I think Mel is monogamous by nature, and so, you know, I see a different facet of myself both in Debbie and in Peg. So I could see why he's narrowed it down, and that had to be a really tough choice to let go of Nicole and Cheryl, who are also the nominal women who have so much to give an offer, and I know, yet a connection with.

00:32:21
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, is there anything that we haven't covered in this episode? Like I know, there are so many things probably swirling around your mind, So something that we didn't hit that you would, like, you know, let the viewing public you know, have an insight into something cool that happened, or something you want them to know.

00:32:38
Speaker 3: There's a moment at which I tell mel and I've only felt this one other time in my life that he feels like a combination of home and vacation all wrapped up in the same skin. I love that, and to be with him on that one on one was more important than than I expected. I wasn't confident, confident, like I wouldn't have placed a bet in Vegas on it, but I was confident that he wanted to come meet my family in Austin and he wanted to take it further, and that the one on one was an affirmation of that, that he wanted to spend more time with me before we got there. But I was pretty confident he wanted to take things further. But that one online just really grew things for me, and I saw both sides of him. It was I finally found a home because you know, you're in the mansion, you have all these fantasy dates, which you know, come on, how can we replicate what ABC can do? It's phenomenal, So that amazing, amazing, but you have to find a home in it too, and to maybe even yeah, in some ways have that feeling of home feel like a vacation And I definitely I definitely found that on our one on one date.

00:34:03
Speaker 4: I love that. That's like such a I think kind of we ought to wrap with that statement right there, you found home in vacation the same person, and like, how could you be any better about that? So? Can you tease? Can you give us any little snippet that about the hometowns, about you taking Mel to meet your family and friends?

00:34:21
Speaker 3: Well that is, let's see which direction should I take this of having Mel and Austin is it's very exciting. Let's just say the chemistry continues and he does have some great interactions with my most treasured people, and he finds a couple party favors along the way.

00:34:48
Speaker 1: Is there any drama?

00:34:50
Speaker 3: Any drama? A little bit? Oh?

00:34:53
Speaker 1: Okay, see this, Okay, that's the direction. I want to.

00:34:56
Speaker 3: Just just remember it's super important that my family falls in love.

00:35:02
Speaker 1: With him too, falls in loves or likes.

00:35:07
Speaker 3: Falls in love? Are you kidding my family just can't like him? How would that work work?

00:35:12
Speaker 1: No? Yeah, I agree completely.

00:35:15
Speaker 2: Again, you're going on very little cues up until this point, and now these people who are in this I keep calling it a vacuum every time I talk about the show, because you are you have no outside connections. There's no phone, no TV, none of this. So you finally get to be around the people who know you, know what you need, know what you deserve, and know what you want, and they get to meet this person that, potentially, after hours of knowing them, is going to propose to you at the end of this thing. You need them to not need like, there's no other option.

00:35:45
Speaker 3: They have to love him, there's no other options.

00:35:49
Speaker 1: I'm excited to see if that happens for you because it's very realistic feeling.

00:35:52
Speaker 3: Mel has to ask permission. Oh, you will have to ask permission to marry me by these people that he doesn't know, and it is surreal because they haven't spent the hours with him that I have. This is cold. They don't know. They haven't had a chance to talk to him or to me, so they're going in with blind faith and it should be an episode for sure that everyone wants to see.

00:36:18
Speaker 4: Oh I do. I'm excited. So I'm excited for this week's episode. I cannot wait to see you introduce him to your daughters because I know how special they are for you. So I think that's all for today's episode. Can I talk to you?

00:36:31
Speaker 1: Yes?

00:36:31
Speaker 3: Can I just say thank you so much? You guys are so fun and dynamic and charming, and you never know because I see you on TV and you seem so distant, but you're everything that everyone can can I mean, you're just so gracious and loving and warm, and what a treat to be on the show with you. Thank you so much.

00:36:58
Speaker 4: I am the best and so are you, and so oh my god, Well you want to treat the same way about you, and I hope that we do many many mores of the Auvies with you in the you know, months and years to come. I don't think this is the end of our journey, so I'm thrilled that we got to be here on this very special podcast talking to you right after this kind of major date. So thank you for taking the time to be with us, and for being on Bacher Happy Hour, and for.

00:37:23
Speaker 2: Being a good sport as a whole, like he answered all of our questions and when we needed a little tea, gave us the little moments too.

00:37:29
Speaker 1: We love every second of it.

00:37:31
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. You're welcome to Austin anytime, and if you're here, I fully expect you to look me up and we'll have some time. Couple of weeks is reservations.

00:37:46
Speaker 1: Reservations plus one. That's also a great for you.

00:37:52
Speaker 3: I could find twenty. I could find twenty for one point one point six okay, personal, please exaplion.

00:38:01
Speaker 4: Well, thank you everybody for listening. Be sure to subscribe. Joe and Sereno will be back with more exclusive interviews with the women from MEL season to come.

00:38:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks for listenings everyone, Thank you, Bye guys,