Ranking 9 Films from Quentin Tarantino + Details on his 10th + Movie Review: 65 + Trailer Park: The Little Mermaid

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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to movie Mike's movie podcast. I am your host Movie Mike. Today I will be ranking all nine films from Quentin Tarantino. Whether you love him, whether you hate him, or whether you're not even that familiar with this work. I hope you joined me on this journey through cinema. This is all because his tenth and final film is being released and I might have a chance of being in this movie, and I'll tell you why. In the review, we'll talk about the sci fi film sixty five, and in the trailer park we now have our first look at all the characters in the new Little Mermaid movie coming out in theaters later this year. So if you love it when I ran about Disney, stick around for that. Thank you for being subscribed, Shout out to the Monday Morning Movie crew. And now let's talk movies. In a world where everyone and their mother has a podcast, one man stands to infiltrate the ears of listeners like never before in a movie podcast, A man with so much movie knowledge, he's basically like a walking AUMTV with Clive from the Nastril podcast net movie podinast Quentin Tarantino is reportedly working on his final movie. It is called The Movie Critic. If there was ever a movie I was going to be a part of, this would be it. So Quentin Tarantino, I am available. I will clear out my entire schedule to be a part of this movie. In all seriousness, though, if there is one director that I would like to sit down with and talk to about movies, it would be Quentin Tarantino. And as we are going to get into in this entire list, I will tell you about all the things that I love about as films, I would have to say he is my favorite director. As basic as that may sound, as much of a film burrow that it may make me out to be, he is just somebody whose work I look at and think that is exactly what I want to see when I go to the movies. I love how much of a nerd he is. This guy loves talking about film, but not even just film in regards to movies, literal film, the seventy millimeter film used to make a movie. He could go on and on about it. That's why I love listening to interviews with him. So I am a little sad that he is going to hang it up as a director after ten movies. This is something he's been saying for a very long time. Now he's doing ten movies and done, but the project doesn't have a studio yet, although Sony is rumored to be a potential candidate for this movie. There aren't a whole lot of details out about this movie yet, but it's set to be set in the late seventies in Los Angeles, not a lot of big surprises there. It has a female lead. Some sources have been speculating that the movie may focus on a very influential movie critic named Pauline Koe and I actually heard him recently in an interview talking about her because he was out promoting his book and he had asked her why she had never written a book, and she said, why would I write a book. I've already told my story in every single movie review that I've done, and that really set in with me, and I think that is something I've tried to carry over onto this podcast and something to you, because yes, I do this podcast because I love movies. I like talking about why I enjoy or dislike movies, but I also set out to share a little slice of myself, and each of those movie reviews so that quote has really stayed embedded in my head ever since I heard him talking about her. So if it is based on her, that would be amazing. So before we get into this list, let's learn a little bit about our director, Quentin Tarantino. First of all, what exactly is a director? The term gets thrown around so many times. Maybe at this point you're afraid to ask, So that's okay, you don't have to worry about that on this podcast. A director is the creative lead in a film. They are the ones responsible for holding the creative vision throughout the whole process, from the pre production to the final edit. It all falls on their shoulders. A movie has an executive producer or a producer, and they are the ones who hire their director, and that director ultimately becomes in charge of the entire production, so they are the ones behind it all. They work with the cinematographer to get the look of the movie. They're involved in the editing sum directors will edit a movie themselves. A director like Quentin Tarantino is very involved most of the time, not only directing but also writing his movies. It all goes back to him as a teenager. He started writing movies at the age of fourteen, and then he dropped out of school in sixteen to train to be an actor. He dropped out after two years and started working at a video rental store called Video Archives, and that is where his true love of movies really began to flourish because he was around him every single day. He said, this is what influenced his directorial choices. He loves seeing people come in pick out a movie and asking them why they wanted to see this movie. Quentin Tarantino is a two time Oscar winner, both for Original Screenplay. He won in ninety five with Pulp Fiction and twenty thirteen with Djengo Unchained, but he has never won an Oscar for Best Director. So maybe for his tenth film. Maybe, as we saw at this last Oscars, it was a lot of people who have been snubbed throughout the year finally getting their flowers. So how perfect a bookend it would be if Quentin Tarantino put out this tenth and final film about a movie critic, truly playing in to the movie critics who are part of the academy that will make this decision for him to win that at the end of his career, allegedly that would make everything come full circle. And finally, before we get into the list, what makes a Quentin Tarantino movie a Tarantino movie. You'll find a lot of themes when breaking down his movies that we're going to get into. A lot of pop culture, a lot of dark humor, a lot of nonlinear storylines, lots of fun cameos, but most importantly, heavy use of profanity. I love that every movie has a look and a feel to it, and in my head, all of Quentin Tarantino's movies exist in this same universe. But I'm pretty sure he would hate that idea and never set out to create an entire Quentin Tarantino universe. So that is a little bit about our director. Now let's get into the list. At number nine from twenty fifteen, I have The Hateful Eight. It has the longest runtime out of any Quentin Tarantino movie at two hours and fifty five minutes, almost three hours long, and it is the one movie he has that I feel does not warrant that long of a run time. If you haven't seen it, this movie is a Western set in the dead. It's about a bounty hunter and his prisoner, who finds shelter in a cabin and then discover all these crazy people living there as well. The movie made one hundred and fifty two million dollars at the box office. I feel like this movie is about fifty five minutes too long, and if there was one movie to be stricken from his career that I would not miss, this would be the only one. I don't believe he's ever made a bad movie, but this is one I saw once and never had to revisit again. He loves westerns. Every interview I see him do, he loves talking about spaghetti westerns. It's a very classic Hollywood concept which he is just always drawn to. And I feel like, out of all of his movies, even more so than Once upon a Time in Hollywood, this was the most self indulgent of just all the things he likes, and that is what nerds do. I can respect that you are super into something you want to make a movie completely about that subject. That's fine, But this one just doesn't really hit for me. There are so many plot points in this movie where I felt like it just dragged along, and I think that's because I just don't like westerns. It has some decent performances, some good scenes. It's not a poorly written movie, but overall, when it comes to the story in this movie, it's the weakest of anything he's ever written. So at number nine we are going with the Hateful Late from twenty fifteen. At number eight from two thousand and four, I have Kill Bill Volume two. This movie made one hundred and fifty four million dollars at the box office. It is the continuation the sequel of Kill Bill Volume one, where the bride played by Uma Thurman continues request of vengeance against her former boss and lover Bill, the reclusive bouncer Bud, and the treacherous one Idol. This was a big hit for Quentin Tarantino. It actually made more than Kill Bill Volume one. And the thing about him, he doesn't make sequels. And the only reason there are two parts to this movie is because it was originally intended to be one big, long movie, but he thought a three plus four hour movie would not screen so well people wouldn't want to be invested in that, so he decided to split it into volume one and volume two, so if you watch them all together, it does feel like one big movie. But what a genius decision to split it up make a lot more money off of this when essentially all you had to do was film one big, long movie. So I think that's why I like Volume one better. This one has a little bit more of a slow burn. There's some good dialogue, some solid action, but doesn't quite compare two part one. So maybe it's a good thing that he doesn't make sequels. He puts everything all into one part of a movie and then that's it. So that's why I put this one at number eight. At number seven from nineteen ninety two, I'm putting Reservoir Dogs. It has the shortest run time out of any Quentin Tarantino movie, at only an hour and thirty nine minutes. It is also the lowest grossing movie out of any of his films, making only two point ninety nine million dollars at the box office. But why is that. It's because it was his directorial debut and was only shown on a very limited amount of screens. But that didn't matter. This movie made him what seemed like a overnight success, so despite that small number at the box office, this is what rose him to directorial fame. After this movie premiered at the Cane Film Festival. He couldn't go walk out on the street with how people recognizing him. And this movie was so ahead of its time that everybody just started doing copycat versions of Reservoir Dogs. If you look at movies in the nineties, everybody wanted to have a story like this. The list goes on and on with Reservoir Dog copycats, the most famous one for me being The Boondock Saints. That's exactly the this movie. If you haven't seen Reservoir Dogs. The movie is about a simple jewelry heighst going horribly wrong, and the surviving criminals begin to suspect that one of them is a police informant. And I rarely say this, especially about his movies, but this is one I wish was longer. I remember the first time I watched this, I was thinking, that's it, like I want to see more. Great movie. Put them on the map. Reservoir Dogs is in at number seven. At number six from twenty nineteen, I'm going with Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, where the runtime of two hours and forty minutes. It is his third longest movie. It's about a faded television actor played by Leonardo DiCaprio and his stunt double played by Brad Pitt, trying to make a comeback and achieve that fame and success that he achieved in the final years of Hollywood's Golden Age in nineteen sixty nine Los Angeles. The movie made three hundred and seventy seven million dollars worldwide. And this is part of Quentin Tarantino's revisionist tales which he is famous for. This one follows the Manson murders and it's probably his most sophisticated movie. And I think that's why people love or hate this movie. I feel like critics love this movie, but the average movie goer did not care for this movie whatsoever. And I think why that is is because this movie has a very laid back plot. It's a lot of hanging out, it's a lot of slow action without a big narrative over the entire thing. So it feels unlike any other Quentin Tarantino movie. It's really his love later to Hollywood again. He is fascinated with old school Hollywood Los Angeles in the sixties seventies. That is his jam, that is his jelly. So he set out to make a movie have that look have that feel if his career existed in the sixties and seventies, this is the type of movie he would have been making around that time. So I think the theme we see here is he is self indulgent, but unlike in Hateful Eight, where he just made a right up Western, I felt like it lent itself to a much more fun movie going experience, and I enjoyed watching this movie in theaters. I will say this movie felt a little bit long the first run through at two hours and forty minutes, but for some reason, I just liked the aesthetic of it. I like the feeling, the coloring of this movie, so I really enjoyed this movie. I will say I completely love it enough to put it in my top three. The reason that is it doesn't have as much of a rewatchability as some of his other movies. But you can't deny having Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio together, two of the biggest movie stars ever appearing like this is what I live for. But I get why of all the people I've told about this movie, most of them hate it. Not me. I love Brad Pitt's performance as this aging stuntman. I love the rewriting history Margot Robbie, and of course it produced one of my favorite memes ever of Leonardo DiCaprio pointing at the TV. So at number six is Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. At number five, I'm going with the movie from nineteen ninety seven, Jackie Brown, with a runtime of two hours and thirty four minutes. This is one of his most underrated movies of all time. The movie is about a flight attendant with a criminal past who gets caught by the ATF for smuggling and then they enforce her to become an informant against the drug dealer that she works for, so she has to find a way to get out of this entire situation without being killed. Pam Grier is amazing in this movie, but unfortunately, this is the movie that people are probably the most unfamiliar with from Quentin Tarantino. Some people would even say it's his most forgettable movie. And to those people, I say, what is wrong with you? I love the movies of Quentin Tarantinos that focus on a strong female lead, badass women, and that is exactly what Pam Grier does playing Jackie Brown. So maybe out of any one of his movies. It's the most straight ahead. And yes, you could argue if he stayed in this style, we would not be talking about him today. He would just become another director that had a hit in the nineties and then did a bunch of average movies. But to me, out of any of his movies, this has the best work when it comes to the writing, the fleshing out of all these characters, from Pam Greer to Samuel L. Jackson, who plays one of his most unhinged characters out of any Quentin Tarantino movie that he's been in. So if you have not seen Jackie Brown, or maybe you haven't watched it since the nineties, go do it today because this movie is great and it lands at number five on my list at number four. Speaking of awesome female leads, I am going with Kill Bill from two thousand and three, with the runtime at one hour and fifty one minutes. Uma Thurman plays the bride for the very first time in this movie. She's just awoken from a four year coma after being betrayed by a former assassin, and she goes wreaking havoc and seeking revenge. And Kill Bill was his first movie since Jackie Brown, So there was a big gap between nineteen ninety seven and two thousand and three, so I felt like that was a contributing factor to They're being build up. They're being hype around this movie, Quentin Tarantino being back with another strong female lead, but this one took it up on an entirely different level because he created one of the best action movies of the two thousands. The movie made one hundred and eighty million dollars worldwide on a thirty million dollar budget, which is bizarre to me that this movie was made with thirty million dollars, with all of the action sequences, the amazing wardrobe in this movie, landing a big star like Uma Thurman to play the lead, and the entire thing playing out like a twisted, dark bedtime story that you would tell your kids. I love the narration in this movie, but I think what sets this movie apart from every other movie that I've talked about so far is the final scene. One of the best third acts in any action movie. The first time I saw that, it blew my mind. Uma Thurman in that yellow outfit resembling Bruce Lee slicing people up left and right, the bride became one of the most recognizable female protagonists of all time. In the two thousand you cannot escape a teenage boys bedroom without seeing a kill Bill poster planted up on the wall. So at number four, because of all those things, I have Kill Bill from two thousand and three getting into the top three. Now at number three, I'm going with Pulp Fiction from nineteen ninety four, with a runtime of two hours and thirty four minutes. The movie follows the lives of two mob hitman, a boxer, a gangster and his wife, and a pair of diner bandits and how all their four lives are intertwined. The movie made two hundred and thirteen million dollars worldwide. It has what I would say is the best soundtrack out of any Quentin Tarantino movie, and it has the most non linear narrative out of any of his movies. And that is the best thing about Pulp Fiction. The way I was introduced to this movie, the movie came out in ninety four before I saw because I was three years old. In ninety four, I saw a Simpsons episode called twenty two Short Films about Springfield, which came out in nineteen ninety six. Season seven, episode twenty one. I have those memorized. The only TV show that I can tell you exactly the episode title, what season, and what episode number, because I had all the box sets of DVDs. Anyway, in that episode, they do a parody of pulp fiction, and that is how I was exposed to it. They play out the entire thing exactly how it's done in the movie is how it's done in the episode. It intertwines all the wives of the people in Springfield and they break it down. Scene for seeing, you have snake running over Chie Wigham when he encounters them in the street, they start fighting. They get thrown into the guy's basement. So I remember watching that as a kid and thinking, Ah, the Simpsons, they're so creative, and then realizing, Oh, that's actually a movie. Simpsons do that a lot. I'm exposed to a lot of their parodies before I even realize they're an actual movie. I should probably do an episode on that. I think what this movie really established for him is how incredible he is at creating dialogue. This movie has some of the best dialogue out of any movie from the nineties. I credit a lot of that to Samuel L. Jackson's character who drops so many f words but has so many memorable lines say what a day, I care il gare you, I'm gonna say one more times, or even just the one liners. This is a tasty burger. But most importantly, this movie showcased how great of a storyteller he is. It also gave us one of the best dance scenes, and just has a really amazing cast from Quentin Tarantino himself has a role in this. John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, Tim Roth, Christopher Walking, being Rames. This list goes on and on and on and on and on. Steve Bushemi and it was also one of the first times I was introduced to how much he pays attention to the little things in a movie. My favorite movies of his have scenes with food that make me want to eat whatever that character is eating, And for this movie, it would be the big Khuna burger that Samuel L. Jackson takes a big old bite out of. This gives a tasty burger. It's a tasty burger. It's a tasty movie. At number three is pulp fiction from nineteen ninety four. At number two from twenty twelve, I'm Going with Django Unchained. With a runtime of two hours and forty five minutes, it is his second longest film and the theme of this movie is revenge. With the help of a German bounty hunter, a freed slave played by Jamie Fox sets out to rescue his wife from a brutal plantation owner in Mississippi. The movie made four hundred and fifty million dollars at the box office. So much money, I said, million weird. Four hundred and fifty million dollars. It is his highest grossing film of all time. In his movie that probably pushed the envelope the most when it comes to the subject matter when it comes to the dialogue, when it comes to all of the curse words, when it comes to the use of other words. It is probably the one that people criticize the most. That people just had something to say about this movie. It is at times hard to watch, but man, there are so many great performances in this movie from Carrie Washington, Christoph Waltz, Jamie Fox, who you see a side of him come out that you've never really seen before. And a lot of that is due to the performance that Quentin Tarantino was able to get out of him, and how much he worked with him on really fine tuning who Django is and really getting him into the headspace of what his character would be experiencing at this time, so you don't really see the cool, calm collective Jamie Fox. He was able to take that all away and take on the role of Django. This is a movie that opened on Christmas Day, which is I believe at the time was the third movie Quentin Tarantino had come out on Christmas Day. It was Django, Unchained, Jackie Brown, and Hateful Late all came out on Christmas Day. I don't necessarily think of Quentin Tarantino when it comes to Christmas, but hey, I'll take Blood and Guts over any other Christmas movie. The costumes in this movie are a plus. The food imagery is also a top notch. I love the white cake. I love the scene when Django and Doctor King Schultz meet for the first time. They poured themselves a beer. It looks all foamy. He slabs off that foam with that little metal spoon looking thing, and I don't drink beer anymore, but man, I would take one of those beers right now. This movie is what I would consider his second masterpiece. I believe what I put at number two and number one are two masterpieces that I would change nothing about these films. I think what he created in this movie was a villain that you just hate, you completely utterly hate. Sometimes you can find a little shred of good in a villain, you see some kind of humility, but there is nothing good about Leonardo DiCaprio's character in this movie. And what I loved about Django Unchained is how they were able to create such tension, and that is something that maybe Quentin Tarantino doesn't get enough credit for the ability to create tension with a camera, with dialogue, with amazing actors. That's all you need, no special effects, no really tricks to editing. That's it. That is the power of dialogue. That is the power of good writing. And I love when Quentin tarantino movies have this moment where everything just goes down as hits the wall and all the cards get thrown on the table, and that's what happens in the dinner scene where Leonardo DiCaprio's character, the villain in the movie, completely loses it and tensions are at all time high. Hi sat on that tabletop. If you lift those palms off that tunnel shell tabletops both fails. That sought off. That is such a powerful scene. Leonardo DiCaprio proves that he is the best actor. He actually cut his hand with glass while hitting the Table's continued to stay in character and play out the scene with real blood. I think the blood they actually used to smear on Kerry Washington's face ended up being fake blood after you got checked out, but still an amazing moment. I hated Leonardo DiCaprio's character, but I loved the way he talked. Make these gentlemen receipt for twelve thousand dollars peace. It was a pleasure doing business with y'all. Now, gentlemen, if you care to join me in the Paula, we will be serving white cake like I wanted that Bikahuna burger, like I wanted a drink of that beer. I wanted a piece of that white cake. Gentlemen, you have my curiosity, but now you have my attention. So at number two, I am going with Django unchained from twenty twelve. Before we get to number one, there are some honorable mentions. Even though he only has nine movies he considers to be his full length feature films, he does have another couple of movies that he has directed, death Proof, which came out in two thousand and seven, which was a double feature, a Grindhouse production with his director Buddy Robert Rodriguez. So the second part of this was his movie Planet Terror. I don't know why he doesn't consider this to be one of his movies. I guess because it was that joint project. But death Proof is pretty solid my favorite of those two movies. What happened to be Planet Terror though, so maybe that's why he doesn't count it. But the movie did make fifty million dollars at the box office. The other honorable mention would be from Dusk Till Dawn, which he didn't direct, but he starred in it and he wrote it. But that movie was directed again by his director, Buddy Robert Rodriguez. A great movie if you haven't seen that one and you want to see his acting abilities, which he's not the best actor. He is a good actor, but I really like him as one of the leads in that movie alongside George Gloody. And he also co wrote and directed a movie called My Best Friend's Birthday, which came out in nineteen eighty seven, which most of the film reels were almost completely destroyed in a fire, so good luck finding that one, But at number one, the best Quentin Tarantino movie of all time if you haven't guested by now from two thousand and nine, it is Inglorious Bastards, with the runtime of two hours and thirty three minutes. The movie is again Quentin Tarantino rewriting history. It takes place in Nazi occupied France during World War Two. You have a group of Jewish US soldiers on a mission to assassinate Nazi leaders, including Hitler, and that just so happens to coincide with a theater owner's vengeful plan to do the exact same thing. Again. The theme here is revenge, and this movie gave me the most gratifying feeling of revenge I've ever felt in a movie, and it made me fall in love with the idea of a movie and rewriting history. And what a subject to pick World War Two, where you have the most hateful figure in all of history, Hitler, and being able to make a movie where he completely gets obliterated, and all the Nazi ideology is just viewed and portrayed in a way that it is this ugly, disgusting force, and all the people they have done wrong, all of the people that they have killed, are able to rise up and fight back and unleash that same vengeful power against them that is so powerful. You have an incredible cast in this movie from Brad Pitt again in my favorite role that he has ever done, playing although the Apache, I just love the way he just talks in this movie. Now, I don't think so more like chewed out. I've been chewed out before. And Quentin Tarantino made Christoph Waltz a star with this movie, playing one of the most hated villains in all of cinema. That's a dingo? Is that the way you say that's a bingo? You just say bengo bingo? Fun. Sorry, I get so excited about that scene. And then I love all the side characters, the supporting cast from Eli Roth as the Bear, jew bj Novak as the little Man. You have Hugo sticklets, all of these just cool names that combined with the look and feel of this movie having a red color palette. If I could get a color palette tattooed on my back. It would be the Inglorious Bastards color palette because it just looks so so beautiful. And this movie has my favorite moments of tension that we've been talking about on this episode. The scene at the bar wherever all the US soldiers are there but posing as Nazi soldiers, and how you can create this incredible standoff that all just begins from these characters having a conversation. And now every single word on that page of script is so important to building that tension, and just the small little inflections that they do that add so much weight to the scene. And then it's all the bullets flying of course that makes it visually stimulating, and the very grotesque, very brutal violence that ensues after that is you know, Quentin Tarantino's edge, But it all comes back to that dialogue and that's what makes them so powerful. Again, just the camera, just actors, just the words on the page are able to do this, and that is the best example of it in this movie. And then it has the best use of food in any of his movies when Hans is interrogating Shoshana, and then you have the strudal with the krem Hall. I would take that brutal interrogation just to have a bite of that strudal. You also have one of the most satisfying third acts when you make it to that theater in Paris and her plan succeeds where she is able to lock all of these Nazis in this room, including Hitler, and burn the place to the ground. So you have one of the best movies of all time, one of the best villains, the best dialogue, the best cinematography. It is a perfect movie. It is his only other second masterpiece, and on top of that, it was my best movie theater experience of the two thousands. Came at a time where I really needed a movie like this. I had just graduated high school in two thousand and nine. Came out in the summer. I was in that weird transition where you go from high school to college. In this movie is the best thing that happened to me that year, And a movie that has a runtime of two hours and thirty three minutes does not feel like that whatsoever. I watched this movie recently. I started it on a plane, which tends to be a thing I've been doing lately. I didn't finish it on the plane, but I came home and made sure I finished watching this movie because it is that good still after all these years. So at number one from two thousand and nine, the best Quentin Tarantino movie of all time is in Glorious Bastards. If you think I ranked one of these movies wrong, let me know what your ranking would be. Send me an email movie Mike d at email dot com, or hit me up on socials at my gidictro on everything. We'll come back and talk about sixty five. Let's get into our movie review now. I want to talk about sixty five with Adam Driver. We now have our first bomb of the year. Whenever a movie comes out and it just starts getting ripped to shreds by critics, it has a low run and Tomato score. I try not to pay too much attention to that because as a movie fan, as a moviegoer, as a movie reviewer, I like to be the judge myself because I don't always buy into all that. And for you who listened to this podcast, I want to let you know from my perspective, I saw the reviews, I saw the score, but I was giving this movie the benefit of the doubt because of the premise. It's about an astronaut who crashed lands on a mysterious planet, only to discover he is not alone and it's actually the Earth sixty five million years ago. That is what this movie is about. Adam Driver plays the main character, the astronaut, the pilot of this ship, and then he with the only other survivor of the crash is this younger girl, and they try to find their way back home. So that is the premise of the movie. We'll get into what I think about it, and if you want to hear a review or I just go and rip a movie to shreds, be prepared because that is what we're going to do here. But here is just a little bit of the sixty five trailer. I don't know where we are. I've located Bard, survivors, Charles, the atmosphere or is breathable. There's something gaily on up there. Even that trailer is boring. So a couple of things that I look for when deciding whether a movie is going to be good or not, I find them in the trailer. First thing up in this trailer is the title of the movie sixty five. That is a boring title. That is not a sexy title. It's also kind of a confusing title and a hard movie to search for. Even looking up things about this movie, I would type sixty five and I would just get like math problems, so bad title. And then you look into how they are selling the movie. They're really cashing in on that tagline, that quick little premise. A nastronaut crash lands on a mysterious planet, only to discover he's not alone and it's Earth sixty five million years ago. You think, how could a movie be bad with such a great premise. If you are able to sell a movie in one line, it is probably gonna suck because it just appeals to the studio. It appeals to the way you promote a movie. If you can sell a movie in one line, I don't want to watch it. It's not going to be very good because you're only selling me the sizzle. I know that there's going to be no substance whatsoever in that movie. Very few have proved me wrong. Very few it proved me wrong. But if you are banking on a tagline, that movie is going to suck. So when it comes to six I didn't like the title. The storyline in the beginning, it's a little confusing and it just kind of jumps very quickly. So it's about Adam Driver's character. He is living on this planet with his family. His daughter is having to undergo this treatment. Treatment is very expensive, so in order to pay for it, he takes on this mission. But it's going to take him away for two years, but he's going to make three times his salary, so even though he can't be there for his daughter, he is able to go on this mission and pay for it. He comes back two years later, so it's him having to make that hard decision. But you don't really get too emotionally invest in the beginning because that happens conversation with his daughter, and then he's gone. You're like, oh, I guess he's going now. And then he is flying through space, he gets hit by this asteroid, hits his ship, he goes down, lands on this planet, and then that's where our story kicks off. This movie just had no imagination whatsoever, and there are a lot of good elements here. You have dinosaurs, you have sci fi, you have a ship, you have Adam Driver, who is a great actor. He played a good villain in Star Wars as Kylo Wren, so he can do that. I don't question his abilities as an actor. But there was nothing here to chew on, and you think, how can you make a movie about dinosaurs? Boring? But what this movie kind of was in the beginning, it's kind of a toy story rip off. Even what you heard there in the trailer is him crash landing on this planet scoping it out. He's like, oh, it's breathable. That's exactly what happens to Buzz Lightyear when he first lands in Andy's room. That exact same scene sixty five ripped it off this movie. It was also kind of a slow burn, and you can't really slow burn a sci fi movie, not with a movie like this get into the action and where it really fumbled the ball here is it didn't really own any of the genre it was living in. Is it a sci fi movie? Is it a dinosaur movie? Or is it just this crazy space movie? It wasn't really anything. And not only that, it was plagued by a lot of lazy things, lazy writing, cheap special effects. There were things going off like smoke. It looked like I was on a ride at Disney and they're like, all right, fire the smoke, And that's exactly what happened in the movie. Was this movie made in two thousand and six. What was going on here? Even down to the music in this movie, it was almost like they just went to moviemusic dot Com, grabbed some tracks, slapped on some MP three's on this movie, and there it is. It really made me realize how much effort goes into making a good dinosaur movie like Jurassic Park. You think all you have to do is throw some dinosaurs on the screen and it's entertaining. That's kind of what I thought was the formula in the latest Jurassic Park reboot trilogy. But when you see this, you'll realize it's not just that you got to create something else. Because there are t rex Is in this movie. There are lots of other dinosaurs in this movie, and you just don't really care when they are on the screen. It made Jurassic World Dominion look Oscar worthy. The best part about this movie was his gun. It kind of reminded me of that Turock video game if you ever played that. On n sixty four, he was a dinosaur Hunter. If there was one thing I could take away from this movie, it was like, Okay, that's actually kind of a cool gun. But it didn't really make me buy into the fact that Adam Driver's character was good at his job. Why did they pay this guy three times a salary? Everything in this movie was him failing. He didn't do anything heroic, he didn't do anything good. He is not good at his job. Were they just trying to get rid of him, like, hey man, sending him out on a space mission. He'll be gone two years, he won't make it back. It was almost like they set him up in this movie because he wasn't good at his job. He wasn't really that great of a lead. It wasn't really that great of a character. I cared nothing about his relationship with the other survivor, the young girl in this movie, not dogging on her whatsoever. She did what she could with that script. But with a movie like this, you can't be mediocre. And I tend to like movies that have a very limited cast. Movies that are in space tend to have that because they are so expensive to make. It's paying for the ships, all the special effects, everything else going on. They usually have a very limited cast. Also, space is just very isolating. That's how those movies kind of work. But in this case, it didn't do it for me. Especially when you have a TV show out right now, like The Last of Us where it's all about older guy, younger character him trying to protect her. You have that show doing it so well, so to do a movie similar like this and it be so bad and so uninspiring, you can't do that. There were a lot of moments that I was just like, what am I watching? Very much? Some lol moments that were not supposed to be LOL moments. I won't ruin anything in case for some reason you decide you want to go watch this movie. But there is a part whereas character falls into quicksand quicksand in a movie in twenty twenty three, I just wasn't buying into this. With this subject matter, you deserve to be submerged into that world. This movie felt like I was just watching an actor on a movie set. I was so aware of everything happening. So it was like Adam Driver's character in Girls became a movie star and this is the movie he went on to do. So it was almost like, really, with any TV show when somebody becomes an actor and like, I'm going to be in a movie, and they play the trailer and it's very like cheesy and elaborate, very like what you make out a big Hollywood movie to be. That is what this was like. It was like a parody movie that went into something else. It was that bad. So this movie should have really owned a genre. I think space It could have been really cool in if they just made a straight up horror movie with dinosaurs, that is something that hasn't been done. Nobody has the budget for that. I don't know what Sony was doing. They're taking a big hit on this one. Movie has not done well at the box office. Has only made twenty two point four million dollars today in the United States, about another nine million dollars internationally. But it has but it had a budget of forty five million dollars, so I don't really see it making that backup. Maybe when they start playing it on airplanes or cable it'll make a little bit back. But man, a movie I wanted to like. When I first saw the trailer, I was like, Oh, that looks interesting. I like dinosaurs. I like Adam Driver. I don't like any of the things together. So four sixty five. I give it one out of five dinosaur prints. It's our first bomb of the year. It's time to head down to movie. You're like, I just went on this rant a couple of episodes ago with Peter Pan. But we are back because we have our first real look at The Little Mermaid. They put out the poster, they put out a teaser, but we really didn't get a look at what all the animals are going to look like under the sea, and now we have it, and now what I was expecting at all. I want to get into what I fully think about The Little Mermaid and what Disney is doing with all of their live action remakes of all their most famous movies. But before we get into that, here is just a little bit of the new The Little Mermaid trailer. You broke at the Rooms. He went to the abuff world. A man was drowning. I had to save him. This obsession with humans has to stop. I just want to know more about them. God child, I can help you. You can't live in that world unless you've become a human yourself. Impossible. That's what a lit fun So this movie entirely doesn't look what I was expecting. I wondered how they were going to make all the undersea creatures look because we've seen live action reimaginations of Disney movies like The Lion King, and the reason that one felt a little bit off to me is because it took away the charm that was the animated version of The Lion King. It took the exact same story and created these quote unquote live action animals which were really just computer animated, realistic looking animals. And I thought they would maybe do something different with The Little Mermaid, because it's one thing to animate a lion, to animate a wart hog and give them a different voice, that makes a little bit more sense to me. That looks a little bit more appealing to me. But when it comes to watching fish under the Sea, not as appealing. It's not as cute. There's something cute about Sebastian as a cartoon, Flounder as a cartoon, but when it comes to them in a live action form, honestly looks a little bit creepy. Our kids even going to be into the idea of this movie. Now, you do have a great lead here. You have Haley Bailey, which I wonder how many times people get her name wrong and call her halle Berry just because it looks similar to it. But it is Haley Bailey as Ariel. She looks like a great Ariel. There's nothing that strikes me weird about the human element to this movie. Javier Bardam as King Triton, Melissa McCarthy as Ursula looks perfect. I think it's just I was expecting this world to look a little bit different, to look a little bit more fun and imaginative and not so right on the nose. They debuted this trailer at the Oscars, which I like that. I feel like we get so many debuts of trailers in the Super Bowl, why not in the Super Bowl of movies. Interesting thing about this, though, is they showed the trailer during the Oscars, and it actually cost them ten million dollars to do that. Disney paid ten million dollars to show this two and a half minute trailer during the Oscars. But Disney also owns ABC, which is where the Oscars were broadcast on, so it's almost like they paid themselves ten million dollars to showcase their own movie. This movie appears to follow the exact same story as the original animated movie, which came out in nineteen eighty nine. You have Ariel being fascinated with the world above the sea. You have Prince Eric, but she is a mermaid and forbidden to interact with humans. But in order to follow her heart, she makes a deal with the evil sea witch Ursula, who gives her the chance to experience life above the sea. And from what I've seen in this trailer, I think this is going to be the first real big bomb of Disney's live action remakes. And that's because I don't think this story translates. I almost think they're going to have the same success that they had with other stories like this, like Beauty and the Beasts, Dumbo, Aladdin and the Lion King. I think Disney is almost in a space of they are too big to fail when it comes to their historic movies. But as we saw with Pinocchio, which didn't come out in theaters, it was a Disney plus exclusive. They can do wrong, and a lot of the times they make up for it with a lot of marketing, as we saw with what they did at the Oscars showing the trailer there. Not only do they have the money to promote the movie, but they also have the legacy of Disney. Ah, we made a new Little Mermaid movie. We are Disney here it is. I just think that when it comes to this one, it's going to catch them off guard when it doesn't do that well opening weekend. We're seeing now for the first time that Disney movies in theaters aren't a hit. And maybe it's because they're a victim of their own plan here. With Disney Plus, you have given people the ability to watch your movies at home, and they're already paying for that there, and it is largely beneficial to families to save money. You don't have to go to the theater to watch a kids movie and take all your kids. You can just put it on at home. We saw that with Strange World that did not do well at the box office, even though it is a pretty good movie. I can only imagine if they had actually put Pinocchio out in theaters how much money they would have lost on that movie. And maybe they're kind of playing their cards with the movies they choose to put out in theaters and the ones they choose to put out on Disney Plus. Maybe they're not taking that risk. With Peter Pan and Wendy, and they believe a little bit more in The Little Mermaids. So I think it's unfortunate that this movie won't do so well, mainly because the people involved. I like all the actors. I love the lead Hallie Bailey, I love Javier Bardem, Melissa McCarthy, de Vie Diggs as Sebastian, has a great cast. I just think it has no artistic vision, and that is what Disney in the past has done best. Brought stories to life, things that are magical, not just cash decisions to bring back movies from back in the day. If I was a kid watching a movie like this for the first time, I don't feel like I would be experiencing that same magic. Disney has always been on the cutting edge of technology and animation, and they're not doing anything inventive here. Nothing that I see in this trailer looks like it's pushing any kind of boundary that Disney has been known for. They're kind of given up on that a little bit. So it's not only that they are making a remake of one of their most famous movies, if that they're not even putting that much effort into it. I want to see the same level on the Little Mermaid that I see in Avatar throws some motion capturing technology on your actors, make the cute cuddly fish a little bit more cute and cuddly. That is what they are known for. That is what they are famous for. And I think the only way this movie will make up for that is with the performances and with the songs, which you can't deny the power of a Disney song. So I'm not always drawn to the music little aspect of Disney movies as a kid. Sometimes I lays skip over the songs, I'll be honest, Except for The Lion King, I can do without some Disney songs. So, as I've said before, I will go see this movie, but I will not be happy about it. And I want to see how this changes, how this alters their plans for all the movies they have coming out, because more live action is on the way. We have Peter Pannon Wendy coming to Disney Plus, and then we have Mufassa The Lion King coming out in twenty twenty four, and also in twenty twenty four we have Snow White, so they aren't slowing down on their live action remakes. I just want them to put the magic back in their movies. Make a Disney movie more exciting again, because I think my future kids deserve better. This week's edition of Movie Bar I don't know why Disney live action movies get me so fired up, but that is my rant for this week. Thank you for listening. Before I go, I gotta give my listeners shout out of the week. Do it every single week to somebody who sends me email movie Mike dat Gmail dot com, hits me up on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, or Facebook. And this week I'm going over to my Facebook page, which is Facebook dot com slash Mike d stro. And this week's listener of the week is Caroline Manerik, who commented on my Scream six review and said, you are so entertaining. Love to listen to your critiques. Keep up the good work, Mike. You are appreciated. Thank you, Caroline. You are this week's Movie Crew listener of the Week. And I don't share comments like this to boost my own ego, like, oh, look how cool everybody thinks like him, Look how much everybody loves the podcast. But the reason I share these comments is honestly, I'm surprised. I love doing this podcast. I love everybody who listens. I love you right now, straight up, just I love you because this is my favorite thing to do, and I just am surprised when other people care. I feel like when it comes to anything creative, you put things out and it feels like it goes to nobody. And I've been going through this period of my life right now that I've to enter this. I don't really care what people think about me. Mentality not meaning that I don't care and I'm gonna put out crap, but meaning that I want to be my truest self and I want to portray how I really am, the most authentic version of myself, without worrying about the critique of others. And sometimes I think, like I talk about movies too much, people are going to find me annoying. I do this podcast and I post these clips, and it feels like I am ruining everybody's feed, everybody's timeline. So whenever I see somebody like Caroline share a comment like that, it makes me not want to quit. It makes me feel like I'm actually doing something that even if it's just Caroline, even if it's just you listening right now. That gives a crap. That's enough for me. This is all I've ever wanted to do. If I had a perfect situation, a perfect way I could earn money in life, it would be just to watch movies and talk about them and express my thoughts and share them with you and do this podcast. So the fact that you take any amount of your week and spend it here on this pod cast or go over on my social media and comments and messages, I love you for that. I love going back and forth into my dms, and I just love that element out of anything when it comes to doing this podcast. So thank you, Caroline, thank you for listening. Hope you come back next week. We'll be talking about the new Shazam movie. We also have John Wick coming up after that. It's a great time to be a movie fan, so I'm glad you're here. Until then, go out and watch good movies and I will talk to you later.