What the F*** Did We See In Him?

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hi Amber, Hi Lola. Welcome to an Unlikely Affair.

00:00:09
Speaker 2: Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of an Unlikely Affair.

00:00:13
Speaker 1: Hello Lola, Hello gorgeous.

00:00:18
Speaker 2: I can't I hope you say that every day for the next fifty years of ours.

00:00:24
Speaker 1: It's my most favorite thing. I know. You have to get the tone right too.

00:00:27
Speaker 2: It's so wild. We are here in San Francisco, which I've only been I think one time.

00:00:33
Speaker 3: Actually, but the last time that I was in San Francisco was when I burned the house down on vander pump Rules. Oh really, season eleven out in the middle of like this bay whatever building that was like you had to take a ferry to get to. And I was kicking back, relaxing, being like, I won't do it. Alcatraz, I won't do it.

00:00:56
Speaker 2: I Oh my god, were they sending you away? They're like, we gotta get this Lala off the show. She's We're gonna send her to Alcatraz.

00:01:02
Speaker 1: That shit is so funny.

00:01:05
Speaker 3: We brought what it was called we have a jam Pack a couple of days, I know, but I'm so excited. I was really hoping that we would end up having like a rams uh Patriots situation that didn't happen. All is good, that's fine. I still love football. You're more basketball, though, right, you like bars.

00:01:27
Speaker 2: I love basketball, but I would definitely say I'm probably more.

00:01:30
Speaker 1: I feel like I.

00:01:31
Speaker 2: Should go for the Seahawks. I don't know why I keep that.

00:01:33
Speaker 3: Do that because then we'll have a we'll have a competition. Oh okay, but we are here for our cute launch party of an unlikely affair. I figured that this would be like, well, both of us figured this would be the perfect place to do it. There's like so many fun people that are going to be around. The energy is just like you guys. It's a Wednesday and it's already popping here. And so many different jerseys. It doesn't even I'm wishing now instead of wearing red, that I would have worn my ray Lewish Baltimore jersey.

00:02:09
Speaker 2: I know, maybe you could change later. Oh you didn't bring it, didn't bring it. Maybe you didn't bring it.

00:02:15
Speaker 1: I brought my G Unit throwback.

00:02:17
Speaker 3: I know.

00:02:17
Speaker 2: I saw it this morning. I actually really liked that. I walked in and I was.

00:02:20
Speaker 1: Like, gee, Unit, yeah you did in that exact voice.

00:02:24
Speaker 3: Tamar Judge is gonna be at the party, you're who will all introduce you to Amber. She's like a bag of fun Dolores who was on Real Housewives of New Jersey.

00:02:34
Speaker 1: She's like a fucking mob vibe. Oh I love that.

00:02:37
Speaker 2: I love a good Jersey mob vibe.

00:02:39
Speaker 3: Maybe someone will come to the party who just happens to have a vape on them and I'll just like happen to stumble my mouth into it.

00:02:46
Speaker 1: Oh no, and accidentally breathe in.

00:02:50
Speaker 2: I can't. You're twitching again.

00:02:52
Speaker 1: Okay, I want to talk about this one.

00:02:55
Speaker 3: Give us more details about how La Lad didn't know her ex had a We talked about this literally yesterday. Because there are times where Amber and I will reminisce about the past and you will bring something up, or I will bring something up, and I will say to you, had I not been drinking, I would have known I was actively trying to ignore. And when I say so, when.

00:03:35
Speaker 2: You say I was actively trying to ignore, that means there's something inside of you that felt off.

00:03:41
Speaker 3: Yes, anytime my gut would talk to me, I would drink more. I do not relate my alcoholism to meeting him. I think that that's a cop out for me. I think It's always lived deep within me alcoholism, but I do I can pinpoint exactly when it spiraled out of control, which is when I met him, and I would drink excessively to numb my intuition.

00:04:11
Speaker 1: And when I say I made a deal with the devil.

00:04:15
Speaker 3: I put importance on not only numbing my gut, but importance on things. And it's not something I'm proud of. If I could go back and change it, I would.

00:04:29
Speaker 1: It is what it is. I don't recommend that at all because.

00:04:33
Speaker 3: I was getting a lot of things, but I have never been more sad and depressed and empty in my entire life.

00:04:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, the things and alcohol are. It's like the same, it's feeding the same beast.

00:04:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is.

00:04:47
Speaker 3: But when people say, how could you not have known, It's like, I understand. I understand why you would ask that, because when I'm telling stories, I too, go bitch, you did know, but you drank to make that feeling go away. And then cut to when I get sober and it was still weighing very heavy on me. I need to know that I did not ruin this home. That is very important for me. It's very important for my sobriety I need to fucking know to fly to Arizona and meet with this therapist who then confirmed everything he said I let everything go. I was like, wow, okay, I really didn't. I really didn't. I didn't do anything wrong. Yeah, which was obviously very much a lot not true. Yeah, very not true. Because then I called you after I had parted ways from him, and you were like, oh, yeah, I know that woman.

00:05:39
Speaker 1: She was our couple's therapists.

00:05:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was an interesting time.

00:05:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, I should have known. I chose to drink that feeling away.

00:05:49
Speaker 2: Well I've said this before and I will say it again. You saved my life. I could not save my own life at the time. I was in too much pain and I did not know how to get out, even though it had happened fifteen times prior to that. I really needed the last straw, for whatever reason, to see what I saw and to say, Okay, that's it, because if you don't leave, you're not going to live another day to see your kids. It was the emotional pain and the emotional the emotional abuse was too much, and it's probably hard for anyone who is out there going like you just fucking leave. It's like No, it's not that easy. And when there's kids involved, and I will you know, my job is to clean my side of the street. I take responsibility for not leaving. It was really hard. But I don't want to look in the room of your mirror, like I want to look forward and move forward in my life. And I'm really proud of the person that I'm becoming.

00:07:00
Speaker 1: Not perfect.

00:07:00
Speaker 2: There's still a lot of work, and I'm doing the work every day, but I'm in a much much better headspace where I could think clearer and I know that my choices, not just in my romantic life, but as a mom, as a friend, as a sister in my career are Everything's a little bit clear. There's no more fog. The fog has been lifted.

00:07:21
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that.

00:07:23
Speaker 2: So next question, Oh, this is really interesting. This is a great one for you. Would Amber get eaten alive if she joined the Valley?

00:07:31
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I don't think.

00:07:35
Speaker 3: No, because you guys have to remember that Amber and I at one point in time had toxicity within our relationship, and Amber can get fucking Scarrappi and it comes out of nowhere.

00:07:55
Speaker 1: It comes out of nowhere.

00:07:57
Speaker 3: Got You're like just this, like beautiful face with these like eyes that you feel like you're stealing my soul in the best way possible.

00:08:04
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, No, you would not get eating alive. I think you'd eat alive and you'd side swipe.

00:08:12
Speaker 2: You're a side sep, I'm a side Oh okay, you're like the you're the You're the.

00:08:18
Speaker 3: Lethal weapon that I would want on my team.

00:08:21
Speaker 1: Everyone knows, like, I have no tricks.

00:08:23
Speaker 3: I never sideswipe anybody because everybody knows exactly how I move.

00:08:26
Speaker 1: Oh no, you're lethal.

00:08:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I've I'm pretty calm and like level headed until someone I'm cross the wrong way, and then I will go ape shit on your ass.

00:08:44
Speaker 1: Are they ever jealous of each other?

00:08:47
Speaker 2: Well I know the answer to that.

00:08:49
Speaker 1: No. I was jealous of you back in the day.

00:08:53
Speaker 3: Did you have like talent and you are like really pretty naturally? Oh stop, no, I'm being serious being vulnerable right now. Oh okay, Yeah, I would be envious, and I think that's why I would act in a certain way out of like jealousy, which is very ugsy. But since we've become friends, No, like, I'm really jealous of your jawline. But that's like a really nice I'm jealous of your leg. Okay, next one, that's so funny.

00:09:23
Speaker 2: Why the hell did you both want to be with your ex? What did you find so intriguing? H I don't know if I found it.

00:09:33
Speaker 3: And this is a good This is a good question because it allows us to toot his horn, which never freaking happens. You guys, he is so much fun when you first meet him. Yes, absolutely, And that's how he gets you so fun. It is funny, great and so funny, and it it's all good until it's fucking.

00:10:04
Speaker 1: Hell and it happens very very quickly.

00:10:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, how did I go from heaven to hell so quickly?

00:10:13
Speaker 2: Well, we just talked about it. There was a lot of isms going on.

00:10:17
Speaker 1: Isms, that's what it is.

00:10:19
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, he's very funny. He's a good storyteller and he knows how to have a good time. And for me when I was I met him when I was seventeen turning eighteen the next month.

00:10:31
Speaker 1: Such a baby.

00:10:32
Speaker 2: I was such a baby. Listen anyone at that age.

00:10:34
Speaker 3: It was like.

00:10:36
Speaker 2: Larger than life. And he was fun. I don't know, that's it. He was fun all right. Next one, how long have you tube been on good terms and how many years? And I've been thinking about that.

00:10:51
Speaker 3: I called Amber shortly after I had left my ex, and I called to make amend. Yes, and that was about a little over four and a half years ago. But I mean we've been in each other's lives.

00:11:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think once that phone call finally happened, I still think that there was a lot of healing between that phone call and where we are today. Of course, and it's only getting better, right, Like you're learning to trust me, I'm learning to trust you and consistency.

00:11:31
Speaker 1: I don't know.

00:11:32
Speaker 2: I just think it's really beautiful.

00:11:33
Speaker 1: Like I.

00:11:36
Speaker 2: It's been not an easy journey. It's definitely not linear, and I think we're doing a pretty good job. I think we're doing an amazing job. Yeah, And there's not a lot of people that I would take criticism from. But when you say something, you're like, dude, you're done, I'm like, oh got it?

00:11:52
Speaker 1: Really?

00:11:52
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:11:53
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:11:53
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah.

00:11:55
Speaker 3: Do you think that that's because we feel protected by each other?

00:11:59
Speaker 2: Yes, we feel protected and I respect you.

00:12:02
Speaker 1: I respect you too. That's so you said that that's.

00:12:06
Speaker 3: What you're looking for in like a partnership too, Like you have to respect the person. Do you find that as you go through life you realize that, Oh, my circle's getting smaller as well, because I'm realizing I don't respect a.

00:12:21
Speaker 1: Lot of people.

00:12:22
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I would say so, absolutely. Yeah.

00:12:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, Wow, a lot of profound shit happening on this stage today.

00:12:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not.

00:12:30
Speaker 3: I think it's all the fucking hot athletes that I'm making that I'm making baby makeing eyes with Hello.

00:12:36
Speaker 1: Hello? Do you see Cam Newton? Just pass No, with this big hat that's so fucking sexy.

00:12:41
Speaker 2: I don't know. Wait, who's that Cam Newton?

00:12:44
Speaker 1: You don't know who Cam Newton is? He has fallen?

00:12:47
Speaker 2: Is he?

00:12:49
Speaker 3: What is?

00:12:49
Speaker 1: Oh?

00:12:50
Speaker 2: I don't know.

00:12:51
Speaker 3: It just passed this way anyway, moving on, Okay, you're a sister, No are you?

00:12:57
Speaker 2: I've asked two questions.

00:12:58
Speaker 1: You're up.

00:13:00
Speaker 3: What was it like the first time you met in person? I was like a drunk back then. Do you remember the first time we met in person? Was it at one?

00:13:07
Speaker 1: It was like at his game? Right?

00:13:10
Speaker 2: I actually don't recall. That's still like a little bit of a blurry time for me.

00:13:14
Speaker 1: You know what I think it was? You came over to the house for a birthday.

00:13:21
Speaker 2: Oh, you're right.

00:13:22
Speaker 3: It was either London or Riley's birthday. The house was not The house was the same way it was.

00:13:29
Speaker 1: Before the renovation.

00:13:30
Speaker 3: I remember feeling like, oh my god, I was going to throw up. I remember your person at the time. Your boyfriend was like, let me get a picture of you, our ax and the kids, and I wanted to light all of you on fire. I was like, this is so inappropriate. Even though it's not inappropriate, that's normal. Now that I have children, I know that that is like a normal thing. R Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it is in film healthy, a healthy thing.

00:13:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, I shouldn't say normal healthy. That was the first time we met.

00:14:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually recall now. I wonder how to what year was that. I don't even know what year that was, long time ago, probably like eighteen, no, eighteen, yeah, two, probably twenty eighteen.

00:14:17
Speaker 3: I it could have been eighteen, yeah, right before I got sober. I think what you're doing, say it was before then. I think I was living in the house in eighteen. I got sober in twenty eighteen.

00:14:27
Speaker 2: Oh, Amber, Okay, imagine if you both got together in the end of all you have been through. Listen, my life has taken many twists and turns.

00:14:48
Speaker 3: Well, we now know that you've never had a female experience. I have had a many female experience in my day.

00:14:57
Speaker 1: What does that mean? I will I have had fun with women.

00:15:04
Speaker 3: But I think I am finally in the place of wanting. This sounds so weird and how did it change so quickly? I really want to find my person and I think I see myself with a man. Yeah, I don't picture myself now. Get like, physical attraction with a woman I'm down for, but I just don't picture myself in an intimate partnership with a woman. I don't know how people want to label that, but I love you as my friend, and the moment I go down on.

00:15:39
Speaker 1: You, it's gonna make things awkward and very.

00:15:44
Speaker 2: Complicated, and I'm gonna be really confused.

00:15:46
Speaker 1: I don't want a complication.

00:15:49
Speaker 2: We're good, No, I'm very However, Oh, here we go.

00:15:52
Speaker 3: How someone would have said back in the day, before I knew you or a homeboy, you're gonna end up with one of these people.

00:16:00
Speaker 1: I would have put my life that I would have ended up with you before I ended up with him. Were talking physical appearance.

00:16:07
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, you guys, I had such a heyday talking with all of you, especially in the environment that we're in.

00:16:14
Speaker 1: It's like a kid in a candy store for me.

00:16:17
Speaker 2: For me, I'm gonna there's no vape today.

00:16:20
Speaker 1: It's no vape.

00:16:21
Speaker 3: All of these fine men around, I'm tweaking out, no vape vagina ready for it all. Something needs to puff on something. Someone shove a stick looking device.

00:16:33
Speaker 2: I have some I have some mints in my purse. I'm gonna be giving you a lott of mins. All right, look at your itching.

00:16:39
Speaker 1: You're itching. You're like not at it because I'm like excited to go and see and be seen.

00:16:44
Speaker 3: And there's nothing better, you guys than puffing on the vape while you see and be seen.

00:16:49
Speaker 1: Oh your good. If you want to sign a saw Famber.

00:16:52
Speaker 2: Thank you everybody for joining another episode of An Unlikely Affair from San Francisco. We will see you guys next time.

00:16:59
Speaker 1: Bye nights.