Mental Health and Maturity with Thomas N. | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Hey, welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour, Kathy, what.

00:00:12
Speaker 2: A good day it's gonna be.

00:00:15
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, we have a great guest day. But Susan, are you kidding me? We are exhausted. We've got to talk about all things Joan and Chalk. The finale it was I don't even fabulous, I mean fried. Of course, I felt so bad for Goud. Okay, well let's start. Let's start at the top here. I mean, she looked beautiful, The guys were all there, we were sitting with all of them. It was super fun to listen to the thing. But how much courage did it take for Joan to go and knock on guy's door and say.

00:00:51
Speaker 1: It broke my heart?

00:00:54
Speaker 3: I thought I was so brave of her.

00:00:55
Speaker 1: Though, well, she had to do because to me, that's part of the game. Okay, go on the show to find love, which I truly believe it. But somebody's gotta have their heartbroken. The one of the last two.

00:01:08
Speaker 3: It's just yeah.

00:01:08
Speaker 1: I remember when Leslie was crying her eyes out and pre Joan to say it and do it rather than have them come down and do all that.

00:01:18
Speaker 3: I respected Joan for doing that. It had to be. It would have been really hard for Guy because you know, he said he was going to get down on a knee and propose to her, and when she would in his room, he didn't get it at first. I mean, I'm thinking if you and I had been sitting there and that knocked him to the door. We know, you know, a knock on the door when it's close to the to the end of show is never a good thing, like don't answer your door. Don't answer you rather go down with the ring in your hand and then say no, no, I'm me I'm being funny. So but you know what. So I mean, it was such a beautiful proposal when she said she loved him.

00:01:56
Speaker 1: God, I know it was a perfect match. It is leave from the get go. She had eyes for him. It was so obvious. I think she was interested in getting to know Guy.

00:02:07
Speaker 2: I really do.

00:02:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was no greener the way she kissed.

00:02:10
Speaker 2: The whole season.

00:02:12
Speaker 1: But better than all that, the beautiful proposal is us meeting the guys. It was so much fun at the after forty Day threw Wow.

00:02:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, so the guys are super I think, though, I just have to say something else about about yours with the one that's crying at these things. But I found myself crying when Joan was saying that he wasn't ever going to replace that she was worried about her kids, and I started, I started crying because I love you myself. Oh well, I just thought that that would could have been me, you know, some day. But his kids, I mean their next to us in the hotel room, they're fabulous. His son and daughter, Joan is lovely.

00:02:58
Speaker 1: She was telling us how much he loves Joan and Hell and that we soon calls with each the kids and both famis about her mother, her mother in law, they're horrible. I mean, that's our family.

00:03:14
Speaker 2: We canty.

00:03:14
Speaker 1: The best part, how about when we walked in everybody Susan and Kathy, coth Yan, Susan, oh my god, like they all knew us.

00:03:22
Speaker 3: That felt so special. Yeah, but you know what isn't huh We still do about us. We don't have a day. It was about Joan and Talk and all I can say is I just am so happy for them. I truly do. Anyone out there, if you don't think this process can work, think again. Look at those two are truly in loving people are on socials are already saying things like, I hope it doesn't it but Gary and Teresa, those people, I mean, you know, there's they have a point.

00:03:53
Speaker 1: I hope it doesn't too. But I don't believe it's gone to I don't.

00:03:57
Speaker 3: I saw the magic.

00:03:58
Speaker 1: I mean, I can I just say, shit happens, Like you can't control everything. Shit happens.

00:04:04
Speaker 3: Wait can we talk about So Susan and I are sitting there and when Chop ever pulls out the key chain for the place in New York, I was like, it's over. I got to say that the feeling of the show was so warm and fuzzy, and everybody was rooting for them. And then afterwards, so we know the stylist, Carrie, who dresses her, He's amazing.

00:04:28
Speaker 2: She beyond last night stunning, stunning.

00:04:32
Speaker 3: So then we get to the after party and that.

00:04:35
Speaker 1: Really placed mind you Wales, This place, people was over the top perfection.

00:04:43
Speaker 2: It was grand.

00:04:44
Speaker 1: How about the staircase going up to the private room, Oh my goodness, it was beautiful.

00:04:49
Speaker 3: Can I just say though? For me it was seeing Chalk and Joanes so abby. She changed her dress sheet on a gorgeous black dressed with beads on sequence. On the top of it was Gorgon swinstones whatever you call it, rhinestones. But she looked so happy. But there were like two hundred and some people on there, producers. For you and me, it was like a happy It was a coming home party. Gain to see the producers and the It was so much fun. It was a really super party. Wait, but I add something? Can I add something here?

00:05:23
Speaker 1: I think and you guys, you fans, let us know what you think. I think we should be at every single solitary final ruse because we get to talk to everybody. We get the real stuff, the real juice out of the people that didn't make it, and from the Happy Couple.

00:05:40
Speaker 2: I think that's a new title.

00:05:42
Speaker 3: Kay, yeah, the Happy Couple? Ye, our title. No want about.

00:05:48
Speaker 1: Interviewing the Happy Couple and the people that were on the show. Everybody was warm and welcome to us, and a lot of them follow our podcasts. We had quite a few of them say I want on your podcast, which ladies and jo about.

00:06:04
Speaker 3: How about the fan that always brings us some bracelet that's got braislet that's saying Golden Hour pod? How sweet is that? Now we have a bracelet to wear in case we forget what we're doing. We just didn't looked out at our wrists Golden Hours podcast.

00:06:18
Speaker 2: And good Night on on.

00:06:20
Speaker 1: Every one of the gentlemen that we spoke to that was there all said what a great experience. We talked about their bonding with each other like we did. And I don't know about you, but every one of them said to me, did you only meet Kathy on the show? And yes, it's true, Yes, it's true, okay to have good relationships.

00:06:41
Speaker 3: I think I think we all talked about being part of the same family. But let's talk about some of the golden women who were there to meet some of the Golden men. Oh baby, it was like, let's let's spill the tea on that. Edith was having a good old time with Dan. Holy that Dan, if you're listening, you were like a deer in the headlights. We hope you out as much we were.

00:07:03
Speaker 1: Love and watch and I had to go up and interrupt it for a second, like just the same, I'm for a minute, like okay.

00:07:09
Speaker 3: I mean, for those of you who don't remember Edith, it was on our season. She is gorgeous, silvery long, beautiful, beautiful. She it's just know and she knows how to work that here and she she was very enjammed to him, very JITed. So we'll keep to that. We'll keep our nose to the grindstone to see what we come up with that what golden couples are coming out? You finally got to meet Jack?

00:07:33
Speaker 2: Oh, yes I did. Jack said he's a character.

00:07:37
Speaker 3: He's a charter for those of you again out there, Susan and Jack. I don't know, like, I don't think it can work. Susan. You two are too much alike in the sense that you're both bigger than life and fun. But I don't think it's gonna work.

00:07:52
Speaker 1: And besides, definitely the prid zone. Also, I really like getting to know jones friends. She had several friends there and her family.

00:08:02
Speaker 3: Wait, wait, and when I have a beach invitation? I don't wait, we have a beach invitation.

00:08:07
Speaker 2: But there were villain So.

00:08:11
Speaker 3: When I talked to Guy, I said, how are you doing? You know you hinted herself so well, tonight, I know how hard it is. And then I said, well, actually, not that I would know. I wasn't left at the altar. I didn't even barely get a rose. But he started to laugh and he goes, look at me, and he smiley goes, I mean it has been four months. I'm good, yeah, big ceg Yeah, but imagine that shock though. When he cried on there, that's when I started crying. You know, Kathy, they do it to us every time.

00:08:37
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not a pretty crier.

00:08:39
Speaker 2: And I could hear Susan's crying. Susan's crying.

00:08:41
Speaker 3: Get the zoom in that the camera's come up, like, seriously, you know what, I think you were rubbing off on me because I used to just sit there and make it snarky comments or wait, oh look.

00:08:51
Speaker 4: At her now, I am rubbing off with you because I always do that. Oh god, with my very heads. I turn around there you go with your hands up. I go, oh my god, I got the prairie.

00:09:01
Speaker 3: Ands and I'm crying out. It's like that.

00:09:03
Speaker 2: That's what happens with besties.

00:09:05
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

00:09:08
Speaker 1: But all in all, the gentlemen were all so real, so nice.

00:09:13
Speaker 3: Yeah they were, and they were super happy to be there and excited. They like us, talked about the great experience they had.

00:09:22
Speaker 2: We were which bedroom they had. Remember that jacket is one of the ones that said I slipped in the rose room.

00:09:29
Speaker 3: But the thing is we all shared that. I mean, honestly, it was like a reunion last night of family and friends. The family of the bachelors are the friends, seeing.

00:09:40
Speaker 4: All the producers and all the things, like we haven't seen them it's quite almost a year.

00:09:48
Speaker 1: I was so wonderful seeing everybody, and I'm so so happy for the two of them. I really am. Okay, if I had a conversation with Chop right, we had mad a little bit and people, I'm standing there trying to get a soda I wanted to coke, and he was standing there and I said, so, I'm so happy for you know, and so he goes, I know everything about you. He goes, I googled you guys, I want to listen to your podcast.

00:10:12
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh mymprest, We're going to get them on this podcast. We're going to get Chalk and Joan on this podcast. We are gonna we're going to make them to beyond. Guy wants to be on.

00:10:23
Speaker 2: Joan and Chops want to be on. Chops kids want to be on.

00:10:27
Speaker 3: You know, we might get a taped with one of these guys. Yeah, you know it's not too late. It's definitely not too late. All I can say is though it's sad. Though for me, every time there's a finale, it brings home the fact that you know, we're moving on to a new season and again.

00:10:45
Speaker 2: And our bachelor was there. He was so cute.

00:10:48
Speaker 1: I didn't know he's sad like that.

00:10:50
Speaker 2: He has a great voice.

00:10:53
Speaker 3: I didn't know he played basketball.

00:10:54
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see the season.

00:10:57
Speaker 3: Anyway. It was so much fun about Paradise.

00:11:04
Speaker 2: I'm getting a.

00:11:04
Speaker 1: Little excited that they might do some golden things.

00:11:08
Speaker 2: We don't know this for.

00:11:09
Speaker 3: Vat, but Susan, you know what. They're going to have you and me. They're going to have us in a stall counsel. Ye, Kathy and Susan room four ohs.

00:11:22
Speaker 1: And then my little tiny crush on Happee he was there. Oh my god, I love that kid. I love them.

00:11:29
Speaker 3: Okay, producers, if you're listening, keep her away from hockey. It could be dangerous.

00:11:36
Speaker 2: No, it was a great show.

00:11:37
Speaker 3: It was a great show. Chalk And and Joan, we love you. We are so happy for you. Can grat show.

00:11:44
Speaker 2: And we're coming to New York to have dinner with you.

00:11:47
Speaker 3: Okay, we want to overlook Central Park, or you can take us to the finest Michelin rated restaurant. Worriesy.

00:11:54
Speaker 1: We love you, Joan, we love you now, Chop, you're part of our family.

00:11:58
Speaker 3: You're part of and we love your our families. And it was so great and we get for the next season.

00:12:03
Speaker 1: Know, and we've got to get to talk to Thomas today.

00:12:07
Speaker 3: Okay, so let's move on. We got to get talking to Thomas. Maybe you know, have you know some insights on what he thinks about golden marriages, golden relationships?

00:12:15
Speaker 2: Why stay tuned.

00:12:24
Speaker 5: Already those So today we have a very special and can I add handsome guest with us, and please welcome from gen season of The Bachelorette.

00:12:35
Speaker 1: Thomas and Thomas.

00:12:37
Speaker 2: What's up?

00:12:39
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me tell me about today?

00:12:42
Speaker 3: What's the main thing? What is the main thing?

00:12:45
Speaker 6: The main thing is the main thing?

00:12:46
Speaker 3: Right, That's what it is and it always has been and always will be.

00:12:51
Speaker 6: Yes, I'm always.

00:12:52
Speaker 5: Before we even get rolling, really quick, were no, no, no, Kathy, just say Kathy.

00:12:58
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm on the south, so I'll say, and so you correct me.

00:13:02
Speaker 5: You were raised properly, very nice, but really quick there's something that we were both doing our little homework and that we read about you. One of your pet peeves about people standing up on the airplane when it lands and.

00:13:15
Speaker 1: Talk to me.

00:13:16
Speaker 3: I gotta tell you, Thomas, you probably sat next to me because I get that seatbelt off before they ring the buzzer and I'm standing. I don't care if I'm by the window. I am up. So I want to hear about to sell.

00:13:29
Speaker 7: I'm I'm just to go with the flow, like very nonchalant, very easy, like if I'm sitting there, I'm cool being the last person off the planes.

00:13:36
Speaker 3: So, yeah, Thomas, have you ever head thirty minute connection? Have you ever had a thirty minute connection?

00:13:43
Speaker 7: I applied delta, so I'm always trying to do one straight and get there.

00:13:47
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:13:47
Speaker 2: That's funny.

00:13:48
Speaker 3: Okay, So the other thing that I want to ask you about, there's several things you're talking about a relationship. I don't know if you're dating, uh, you know, since you know you left the show, if you believe in love and first sight, you're going to tell us all these things. But I was struck by the fact that you said relationships are rarely fifty to fifty, that you some days will bring twenty percent, some days you'll bring eighty percent, and hope your partner picks up the slack or whatever. I want to hear about that.

00:14:17
Speaker 6: Explain, Yeah, yeah, definitely I said that.

00:14:20
Speaker 7: Actually when I said that, I said that in my best man speech for my brother's wedding this last summer, And it's just something that I really resonate with, you know, especially watching my parents. You know, as a child, everyone has hard days and everyone has rough days, and it's we're going to be going to meet you in the middle.

00:14:38
Speaker 3: You know.

00:14:38
Speaker 7: So if if you have a hard day and you can only bring five, ten, twenty percent, I think it's part of a relationship for the other person to say, hey, my day wasn't quite as bad as my partners.

00:14:48
Speaker 6: I'm going to fill that cup.

00:14:49
Speaker 1: I'm going to give intake's intake.

00:14:52
Speaker 3: That is such I mean, it's it's so it's such an obvious thought, but it's such a great kind of reminder about relationship. Some give and take. You know, it's funny.

00:15:02
Speaker 5: There's a lot of people divorced or widowed, and when you're growing up as a child, when you have the if you will the perfect family parents, that got along, and that's all I have to relate to it.

00:15:13
Speaker 1: And it sounds like that's what you had.

00:15:15
Speaker 2: Correct.

00:15:16
Speaker 6: I'll give you guys, like a quick little background on my family as well. Yeah, you know, both my parents were immigrants.

00:15:21
Speaker 7: They both came to the United States with not a dollar in their pocket from that way, from Vietnam.

00:15:26
Speaker 6: From Vietnam in English, they had no money.

00:15:29
Speaker 7: And when they got together, you know, when I was when I was eleven years old, my little sister had passed away, and I think the statistics of a couple to stay together through a passing of a child is less than twenty percent.

00:15:41
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, it is absolutely right.

00:15:43
Speaker 7: My parents stooped together and you know when everyone else was, you know, there was so much noise around the outside of the front that.

00:15:49
Speaker 6: Went on in our family.

00:15:50
Speaker 7: For them to pick each other every single day through the loss of a child, that's something that when I look at like an ideal marriage, it's someone that's always going to fight for the other person no matter what.

00:16:01
Speaker 1: We all pray for that.

00:16:02
Speaker 6: So I.

00:16:04
Speaker 3: Don't know you that well. I mean we've chatted a few times, but I also read that you believe mental health is a big thing for you and therapy. Can you kind of tell me obviously the way you talk, you've definitely done some work. You've definitely done some work.

00:16:19
Speaker 7: Yeah, I've been in therapy for for a while now, coming up on eight years. It went from like getting from being a really really hard spot. You know, obviously with the loss of my sister, that's something that I didn't really process when I was young. I lost her when I was eleven, and it was four days before Christmas, so it was always hard for our family, you know, holidays. I spent like the last several Christmases by myself just because like our family didn't really celebrate Christmas like that. So, you know, mental health was always something that I always put on the back burner, right and then it got to the point where it was affecting the people that I loved, the people that I cared about, that I wasn't able to process all of those emotions. So I got into therapy about eight years ago, started working on backwards from where I was before, processing you know, the passing of my sister, watching my parents kind of go through what they went through, and then get to the point where now it's just check ins.

00:17:15
Speaker 6: You know.

00:17:17
Speaker 3: Mental health helps mental health. It's such a tabloo subject, even more so for men. You know, you're supposed to be strong, and I love that you are helping bring that to the forefront. That therapy is good, it's needed, it's it's there's nothing to be ashamed of, and I just love hearing you can.

00:17:40
Speaker 5: I ask, like, if you are going on a date with somebody and maybe the second date, do you share that part of you with them or do you ask them if they've been in therapy? Is that like an important part of who your partner might be.

00:17:53
Speaker 6: Yeah.

00:17:54
Speaker 7: I think being able to be emotionally intelligent and being able to like understand yourself before like you can tell someone how to understand you.

00:18:04
Speaker 6: I think that's also really important. So it's hard to like jump into something.

00:18:08
Speaker 7: Where it's where you're where you're basically sharing yourself, right, you're getting yourself to a partner, and if you don't understand yourself quite all that well, it's hard to tell someone, hey, this is me. So that I think that's pretty important when you get into a relationship. I like to say, like I always work on myself and and you know, I try to make sure that I'm as healed as possible, whether it be from past relationships, you know, past traumas, things like that. But I also don't believe that you have to be one hundred percent perfect in order to get.

00:18:36
Speaker 5: Into the next roae now and you want to be emotionally available. That's one of the biggest gripes from women. You know he's not emotionally available.

00:18:45
Speaker 3: So wait, I have a question. We're beating round the busher. Tell me about dating since you went off the show or a relationship. Let's go spill it. Uh.

00:18:53
Speaker 7: Dating, dating has been interesting, it's been funny.

00:19:00
Speaker 1: I feel like you're getting.

00:19:04
Speaker 3: Or funny as.

00:19:06
Speaker 1: No, do you feel you got more attention now that you were on the show.

00:19:09
Speaker 6: Yeah, I definitely. I definitely. People.

00:19:11
Speaker 7: I get a lot of pointing and staring, usually get and and sometimes I go. And I've been to Lexi's single events here in Atlanta just to try and support her and showface and do what I can to.

00:19:21
Speaker 6: Help her out, whether it's checking people in and things like that.

00:19:24
Speaker 7: And the overwhelming thing that I get is, hey, you don't suck as bad as we saw on TV.

00:19:30
Speaker 3: I I got it all the time. People. Two things I get all the time. Wow, you're so pretty in person, and you're not mean at all. You're really nice. Thank you so much.

00:19:43
Speaker 6: It was it was quite interesting.

00:19:45
Speaker 7: I'm sure you guys are familiar with the timeline of my season, so from episode four and five to after the final Rows, things got changed about with people's perceptions, so it was it was definitely interesting to go from throughout the season and interact with people in the public.

00:20:03
Speaker 1: I love it and Paradise.

00:20:06
Speaker 5: How do you feel if that were happening in your future?

00:20:11
Speaker 6: I think.

00:20:14
Speaker 7: I think it's an awesome opportunity if I was single at the time.

00:20:19
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, are you single?

00:20:21
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm single right now?

00:20:23
Speaker 5: Are you sure something you're not telling us?

00:20:25
Speaker 3: Like, I don't know? Are you dating Lexi? I mean, I want some details, Lexi.

00:20:29
Speaker 7: Lexie and I are just friends like you and I just I'm just I'm just sorting her.

00:20:33
Speaker 3: Who are you dating, spill Thomas, I'm relentless.

00:20:36
Speaker 6: No one, no one. I'm not dating anyone right now.

00:20:38
Speaker 7: So I'm just if if I was singled when Paradise came and they asked me to.

00:20:44
Speaker 1: You can see yourself on the beach.

00:20:47
Speaker 6: If you put me close to water. That's where I rhyme. So that's what you happy.

00:20:50
Speaker 3: Okay, So what is your if you're not dating anyone, what does your ideal partner what look like? What does he she look like?

00:21:00
Speaker 6: Let's start. I think I think having a relationship with their family is important.

00:21:04
Speaker 7: My relationship with my family is as massive. My two brothers are my best friends. My sister is like, you know, just that little punk sister that you always have and like all the stories and so our relationship as a family good. Yeah, it's something that I hold very dear to me. So having a good relationship with a family more, I think, probably a little bit more outgoing. I consider myself kind of shy and reserved, so I think that yin and yang balance.

00:21:30
Speaker 1: I like this.

00:21:30
Speaker 5: I like this because Kathy and I are very big personalities, as you know, and we people have told us, I'm sure have told us that we intimidate people. And you need to find somebody the same as you. But I like what you're saying because you're not as outgoing. You want to find somebody that's more comfortable being outgoing.

00:21:51
Speaker 7: So opposite, if my partner is out front, being wild and doing if I can be in the back chair and or on.

00:21:58
Speaker 3: I love my husband was Thomas. My husband was very reserved one on ones. He was great, but he relied on me. He would say it all the time. You know. We'd go to a cocktail party or something, some work event and he was like, do you know, do your magic, Kathy, because he hate So I got it. You know exactly what you're saying.

00:22:19
Speaker 7: I'm a professional Irish goodbuyer. So if you don't see me and I'm gone.

00:22:24
Speaker 1: It takes too much time.

00:22:26
Speaker 6: If my social battery is on e.

00:22:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're done here, peace out, peace out. He's gone.

00:22:38
Speaker 5: All right, So we play this little let's not play, but we read these questions from our fans and they like to get some advice and we'd like you to join us.

00:22:47
Speaker 6: You go with that, I'm excited.

00:22:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, Kathy, you want to go first?

00:22:51
Speaker 3: Okay? Sean asks, Hi, Kathy and Susan. I have a serious dilemma that I really need help with. My best friend Mike recently started dating this girl Cat. As soon as I met Kat, I knew I had a huge crush on her. At first, I was just happy for Michael because she's hot, and then because she's funny, and then because she's really smart. I'm sure you see where this is going. I started getting really anxious about it this past week after I had a dream about her breaking things off with Michael for me. Now I can't stop thinking about her, and things have gotten worse. Michael's Birthday's coming up and he's been planning a big trip to Miami for it, so yesterday he threw us all in a group chat. I expected there to be a few phone numbers I didn't recognize, but I had all of them saved, including Cats. I was really confused since I had never texted her in the few weeks I've known she even exists. When I went to text her individually to make sure it was her number, I saw her full contact name, cat name of our local bar. Then it all clicked. I met her during a night out, got her number, and made out with her at the ball. When I looked at the timestamp of when we texted to exchange phone numbers, I confirmed there was definitely overlap with that night and her and Michael dating. Now I have no idea what to do. I don't really have the best memory of that night. It was so late and we were really drunk. I asked my friends about it who were with me that night. They aren't mutual friends with Michael, and all they said was we were talking for a long time and made out a bunch. Then she went home and I went back to my friends. As if being around her wasn't difficult enough with my feelings towards her, now this is even worse. How am I going to spend an entire week in the same house as her with my best friend who's her brand new boyfriend. I have no idea how to navigate this situation and would love any and all advice. Thank you so much. Okay, Thomas, I to hear your opinion, but you're no. Before you answer, you know what, you know what? The entire problem stems from being drunk?

00:25:11
Speaker 7: Okay, tom Oh, I think this is I'm gonna go super easy because I'm gonna put this with me and my best friends.

00:25:20
Speaker 6: And I have my best friend.

00:25:22
Speaker 7: I would go straight to him and be like, hey, look, this is what happened, this is how it happened, and how do you feel And if he felt a certain way about it, I would move based off of how he told me to move, you know. That's how That's how I am with my friends. I'm pretty loyal with with my friends. I have four guys that I've known for seventeen years and those are my only friends. And so if I asked them, hey, look, this is what happened. If they said no, no worries, like we just started dating, it's not a big of a deal, or if they're like, hey, I don't want my friends ever.

00:25:51
Speaker 5: Going to give you a heads up? Yeah, but I didn't even think of it that way. I think he's struggling because he has a crush.

00:25:56
Speaker 3: That's what. But also again, you know, getting drunk and making out not rememory what happened never a good recipe.

00:26:05
Speaker 1: But how it's already done.

00:26:07
Speaker 3: It's done, But it's he has a crush, but it's a brand new boyfriend. So if your friend came to you, Thomas and said, hey, hey, bro, I got to tell you I was making out with her. I've got a crush on her. But I realize you guys are dating, you know, happy to step back? I mean, what are you going to say?

00:26:27
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's not much you can't really say.

00:26:30
Speaker 7: If he's got a crush on her, and if I'm okay with him liking me or my girlfriend, then that would.

00:26:36
Speaker 6: Be something in service like my security.

00:26:39
Speaker 7: Right if you how do you feel, especially if it's new, are you willing to make that feel uncomfortable? Or if you feel secure in your relationship, then that's something not to worry about, you know.

00:26:48
Speaker 5: And also if he if he contacted her first prior to his buddy, that wouldn't look good either. Right then he looks like he's going behind. He's got to confront the two him. I like what you said first, that he should go to his best friend. But as far as I think what I took out of this, he's asking, how am I going to be in this house? I got the hots for my best friend's girlfriend, but you're not a good formula. And add liquor to that and we got problem.

00:27:16
Speaker 6: Here's what I'm at home.

00:27:19
Speaker 2: I might not go.

00:27:21
Speaker 3: I came down with a sudden case of the flu complicated by COVID. But here's what. But I have one more question on this. If she was so hot and he outer number, and then why didn't he call her? That's my next question?

00:27:35
Speaker 1: What was his name again?

00:27:36
Speaker 3: What is sean? Sewn? Sean? Why did you call her? If she was that hot and she was in you, so you are you a serial bar hopping back up girls kind of guy?

00:27:48
Speaker 5: Just right, mind, But that sounds like the dating apps out of sight, out of my next one swipe next.

00:27:56
Speaker 1: That's what problem is, all right, don't you agree?

00:27:59
Speaker 7: I know?

00:28:01
Speaker 3: All right?

00:28:01
Speaker 5: This one's from Kelly, Hi, Kathy, and Susan. I need an outside opinion on this, so I really hope you see this.

00:28:10
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:28:12
Speaker 5: I'm planning my wedding and am dead set on having it my dream venue. She wants it at her dream place. Nothing else compares to this place. It's so beautiful and I fell in love with it as soon as I set my eyes on it. For content, It's just about an hour away from where I live, so the drive is totally doable. However, the only day they have available is a Wednesday. As soon as we found out, my fiance said, oh, man, well do you want to tour the place I showed you yesterday? I was so shocked that he wouldn't even consider it. I told him that I still wanted to go with that venue, and that a Wednesday isn't a big deal. It's not like he or I are working that week. I expected my friends to be more supportive of me. But when I told them how the conversation went down, they were just quiet at first. Now I've gotten two yes RSVPs from my immediate circle, changed to a maybe maybe on the wedding invitation. Our wedding isn't even for another year. It is ridiculous of me. I'm glad she's saying it to ask my friends and family to go to my wedding on a Wednesday. I really think everyone is overreacting, but no one is really agreeing with me. I have to give the venue an answer, and the deposit is non refundable. Do you think my guests will still come? Any advice would be so helpful.

00:29:42
Speaker 1: Thank you.

00:29:46
Speaker 3: I think this is a whole much ado about nothing.

00:29:48
Speaker 5: So just for starters. I just did a wedding. I performed a ceremony on a Monday night and there were a lot of people there.

00:29:58
Speaker 3: What do you think, Thomas he going to a wedding on a Weday today?

00:30:00
Speaker 7: It's not as much fun, of course, of course, But here the old devil's advocate for the bride.

00:30:07
Speaker 6: Can we do the same venue?

00:30:10
Speaker 7: Push it back, keep the deposit down and say, hey, look I really want to be with you guys.

00:30:14
Speaker 6: Can we do a Friday or a Saturday for two years.

00:30:17
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, okay.

00:30:18
Speaker 3: You're saying, are you saying, Thomas push out the wedding.

00:30:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, so she can get a weekend.

00:30:23
Speaker 7: If you want to have the venue that badly, and but you're willing to make a small snack advice a little given sake. Hey, fiance, I want the venue. Can we move it to eighteen months instead of twelve months away?

00:30:35
Speaker 5: And or she's given people a year's notice who can't take off one day?

00:30:39
Speaker 1: You're good friends, you can.

00:30:40
Speaker 3: I think I think you might need to find a new friend group.

00:30:45
Speaker 7: My best friend, his wife was eight and a half months pregnant, and he flew down to Columbia for my brother's wedding and flew back today.

00:30:54
Speaker 3: Or there you go.

00:30:55
Speaker 5: That's what we say, because he's a real friend, a real friend, Kelly Luck and you know a lot of your stuff will come.

00:31:02
Speaker 3: We're fine, Yeah, we'll come.

00:31:03
Speaker 6: We'll take up.

00:31:06
Speaker 1: As three will be there, we'll.

00:31:07
Speaker 3: Take up Ta Saints. All right, we're gonna move on. Carly says Hi, Kathy and Susan. I love your podcast, and I really need some advice. I have a group of really good friends that I've had since freshman year of college. We graduated last year. Recently, my mom came to visit me and stayed in my apartment. On one of the last nights she was here, my friends and I planned a dinner with her so they could all meet her. When they all showed up to my apartment that night, my three guy friends could not stop staring at her. Oh we talked about a Milfair. Okay mom. My mom didn't really notice, but I definitely did. Throughout the entire dinner, they were complimenting her, trying to charm her everything. At first, I was really glad everyone liked my mom and made her feel included, But after a while I just started to find it really really annoying. I thought would end what she left, But now they keep making jokes around me about dating my mom. It's nothing distasteful. My mom actually found it all very flattering, and all of my friends think it's funny and harmless. I'm just so tired of hearing it constantly. The jokes they say around me are like, I don't know your mom was an angel, or I'm working on myself so I can shoot my shot with my mom's name. Everything blew up the other night when we were all going out. I was having a tough day at work and wanted to blow off steam with my friends in a Friday happy hour. I only got two SIPs of my drinking before one of the boys made a joke about my mom. I threw my drink at him and yelled something like would you shut the f up already, along with some other choice words I had for him. I went to the bathroom to cool down, and after my girlfriend's helped me relax, they suggested it might be a good idea to apologize. Truthfully, that just made me even more matt. I bit my tongue because I knew the girls were just trying to make me feel better and help me have a good night. When I came back to the table, I drank my drink and a couple more and ignored the boys the whole night. Now, the boys are upset with me and our friend groups divided. They understand my frustration, especially because of the dad was having, but they don't think the guys did anything wrong. What should I do?

00:33:21
Speaker 5: Love you guys, we want to hear from you, but I only have one word, jealous jelly.

00:33:28
Speaker 3: What do you think Thomas, I didn't go there, but I went there. I didn't go there. You think she's jealous of her hot Oh I don't think so. Yep, do you think so, Thomas.

00:33:40
Speaker 6: I can see that, but I was going to go.

00:33:43
Speaker 7: I had a similar situation happened with with one of our friend group as well, And I think that people don't know what's wrong, and so they're told what's wrong, especially guys.

00:33:55
Speaker 6: I'll happily admit that as well too. So I think she told me to share line with a.

00:34:01
Speaker 7: Beard and the cussing, and so I hope that they understand now that it bothers her, and then if they do it again, that's not someone that you want to be around. Like if you have to tell someone more than once, hey, this really isn't what I want to be around, then those are people that you cut.

00:34:16
Speaker 6: On your own.

00:34:16
Speaker 5: But like you said, she should have addressed it in the beginning. Guys, I don't think it's funny like it bothers me.

00:34:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, I see, But I don't think she's jealous of I think she and I would feel the same way. I think she just feels it's weird, like these are my friends. That's why I said, Oh, are we in a mill situation here? It's just weird. It's weird, right, it's weird.

00:34:37
Speaker 6: It's weird.

00:34:38
Speaker 5: I don't think so well, you know what, It's just like the last question I had twin boys, and it's happened that the boys friends always flirted with me, always said stuff about my mom, you know, and Nick would be laughing like yeah, right in your dreams, and Chris be.

00:34:53
Speaker 1: Like, we'll put you out talk about things like that.

00:34:58
Speaker 3: So yeah, okay, Well, I she might need to look into a new friend group.

00:35:02
Speaker 2: I don't know our good luck, sweeting.

00:35:04
Speaker 3: Hey, listen, sweetie, let me just say to you, Carly, be glad your mom is so attractive that it's well for you. Jeans that genetic thing. It's a thing, Carly, So thank you lucky stars.

00:35:15
Speaker 5: So one last thing before we end this, I need to know exactly how you feel about what if paradise happens or it is going to happen.

00:35:23
Speaker 1: What if you're invited? Are you running? I know you said if I'm not in a relationship, but I'm going to slow jog.

00:35:30
Speaker 7: Would all right, I'm definitely there are definitely some some people and you know, Bachchlin nation is awesome.

00:35:38
Speaker 3: You know.

00:35:38
Speaker 6: The people that I've said it is mean, you know, and everyone's stunning, you know.

00:35:42
Speaker 7: And so I'm I'm if the opportunity was there and they asked me to.

00:35:46
Speaker 5: Come, is there one person that you're kind of hoping would be there if you want to go.

00:35:52
Speaker 6: I'm gonna. I'm going to keep that one to myself.

00:35:54
Speaker 5: But if you don't put it out to the universe, then it might not happen. Or she might does she know?

00:35:59
Speaker 3: Does she? Whoever it beat? She knows?

00:36:01
Speaker 1: This is your chance, babe.

00:36:03
Speaker 3: Hey, Thomas, listen, we could be your mother, maybe close to your grandmother now mother mother, listen. I know. Yeah, I'm telling you, Thomas, if you're interested, put it at it known, put it out there. What's the worst thing can happen Thomas? She says, yeah, no, thanks, You'll survive.

00:36:21
Speaker 6: I'm gonna I'm going to keep that one in my pocket.

00:36:23
Speaker 3: All right, all right, Wait, I have one more question. I see a letter. Are you an athlete? Were you an athlete? Yeah?

00:36:30
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was. I was a college swimmer and a professional swimmer.

00:36:33
Speaker 3: For wow, wow, what's your stroke?

00:36:36
Speaker 6: Backstroke?

00:36:37
Speaker 3: Backstroke? Wow? That doesn't For this episode of Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank you so much Thomas for joining us. We've had a blast talking with you. I'm sorry we couldn't dig her name, but we're going to keep on it. We are going to keep on that one.

00:36:51
Speaker 2: We love you, we really do.

00:36:53
Speaker 5: And I'm going to secretly DM you and find out who this woman is.

00:36:57
Speaker 3: That's what we'll do. Shots were going to keep asking you into your spill.

00:37:03
Speaker 5: Oh God, thank you all out there for joining us. I hope you enjoyed his company as much as we did. And we're all going to be curious now. And for you guys that wrote in those questions, I hope we helped a little bit.

00:37:14
Speaker 3: Yeah. And you know what, we that we really love giving advice. Thomas had some great advice here, so please keep somethitting your questions to us. It's very simple. Just go to Bachelor nation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:37:30
Speaker 1: And you guys know what to do.

00:37:31
Speaker 5: Right you're listening to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio.

00:37:36
Speaker 1: App or wherever you listen to your podcast.

00:37:38
Speaker 2: It's that easy.

00:37:39
Speaker 3: Until next time, have a great week.

00:37:41
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thanks Joel