Angie Martinez IRL - Da Brat & Judy Dupart: Learning To Mix Business With Pleasure

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Surviving losing everything makes you feel like anything is possible and you don't be scared to take a risk.

00:00:08
Speaker 2: Oh that's good because a lot of people's fear is what stops them from trying their dreams, pushing past their boundary.

00:00:16
Speaker 1: Right, like you have to. It's almost like you have to have a traumatic experience of losing everything to know that it's not that scary.

00:00:27
Speaker 2: Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by boost Mobile. One is a hip hop legend who has broken barriers as the first solo female rapper to go platinum and built a lasting career across music, TV, radio. The other is a beauty mogul who has turned her skill from viral marketing into a multimillion dollar community driven brand, Kaleidoscope pair of products. Now they are wives, and they are sharing their journey in their new book, The Way Love Goes. They are quoted as the Unicorn, and their relationship is not that they are black lesbians, but that they have found true love. Please welcome to Brad and.

00:01:06
Speaker 3: I know it's crazy Wall. Hi, guys high.

00:01:11
Speaker 2: When was the last time I saw you?

00:01:13
Speaker 1: Oh?

00:01:13
Speaker 2: My god, I don't know, so so me and your wife we did a blue song back in we got the little Grammy nomination.

00:01:21
Speaker 3: Still that little gold thing. I still have that. Come on, yeah, do you have a few of those?

00:01:28
Speaker 2: You probably do.

00:01:29
Speaker 3: I don't know. They're like a little coins or someone.

00:01:31
Speaker 2: You were a baby though. You were like a little firecracker running around the set. You was too, I guess I was.

00:01:37
Speaker 3: But we did the whole wardrobe thing. We had the brown and we had different It was like lo we had different styles and wardrobe.

00:01:44
Speaker 2: It was crazy.

00:01:45
Speaker 1: It was good times.

00:01:46
Speaker 3: It was good time, and we performed on the MTV Awards.

00:01:48
Speaker 1: That was fun.

00:01:49
Speaker 2: That was challenging for me.

00:01:50
Speaker 3: That was challenging for all of us.

00:01:53
Speaker 2: I was in a Trojan outfit that it was challenging. If you can see, you never gave that vibe you always you always gave the vibe that you.

00:02:01
Speaker 3: Had like you had that. That's how you gotta be.

00:02:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I was like, oh, ship, that's scary. But you didn't you think. But it was history. Shout out to Kim and everything. Absolutely beautiful moments. Anyway, A lot has changed, life has evolved. You're still rhyme? No should I Sometimes My son always says that, he says that jokingly, and then nobody wants this Lady's night.

00:02:30
Speaker 3: Nobody butter pe Honey, got the sugar, got the spice lit L's tight, you know, just make I'm key on the Star team.

00:02:39
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, we rock with you. I love that you remember all the words to that? Thank you man alone? What's some of you rhyming? Now? With music?

00:02:49
Speaker 3: I do a lot of music all the time, but you know, shi, it is different, the game is different. So I just feel like they don't appreciate it the way they used to. And I'm not gonna put out ten songs a week, you know what I'm saying. I want to put out wanting to let the marinate, let people love them. Like, it's just so different now it's so fair I'm trying. It's so fast. Yeah, it's like depreciated almost. Do you still appreciate the art of it?

00:03:14
Speaker 2: Like? Do you still like you? Do you still like? Are you like rhyming in your head?

00:03:18
Speaker 3: And no rhyming in my head? But when I get in the studio, I'm write it's produced. Yeah, Like she got music, y'all won't put it write it all comes.

00:03:27
Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: She got like thirty forty house that song it's good.

00:03:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and.

00:03:34
Speaker 1: It's as to imagine how long ago they did it. It's still good. Wow.

00:03:39
Speaker 2: She don't put it keeping them in the vault.

00:03:42
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, when the time is right, I might license them or something, but just to put them out, I just feel like they're gonna go away too quick. And I don't like that.

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Speaker 2: How exciting that that this book is coming out? That? I mean, how does this press run been?

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Speaker 3: I mean, you're sharing a lot of your Yeah.

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Speaker 1: She didn't like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I'm to my selfish, you know, in a client for a long time, being very private. So you know, it took my wife to bring some vulnerability out for me to actually showed it, because you know.

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Speaker 2: So before you met Judy, you had never considered coming out. But quickly no, is that because you just are a private person or because of because that wasn't cool back I was thinking about that before. People think now it's like, what's the big deal? Why wouldn't you even Dana Latifa the other day posted about her wife Yes, and it was so it made me feel so good and so happy for her that she gets to talk about who she loves now because it just wasn't. It was against the rules back in the day for a female artist. You couldn't do that. You couldn't tell that. Remember Ellen lost everything back in the day, you know, so you could either choose that or your career.

00:04:52
Speaker 3: Was that a liar?

00:04:53
Speaker 2: Did you have that as a fear?

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Speaker 3: Like in the beginning, I never cared because that was just the rule. That was just what you did not do, you know. But I never really met anybody that made me want to be out loud, you know that. I thought I was in love a few times, but apparently not until I met this one, because then I felt some feelings and some things that I had never felt before, and it made me want to be like everybody, Yeah, you're gonna see You're gonna see this, You're gonna see this love. You don't see how happy I am?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I just you know when you hear stories of people like not living in their truth. But there's a wake to that.

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Speaker 3: I was a young youngster, you know what I'm saying.

00:05:33
Speaker 2: It really wasn't. It wasn't an amazingly kept secret either. By the way, I don't know if you know, we're kind of suspected, right right.

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Speaker 3: I think anybody that anybody that dressed like me and wrapped like me. Everybody thought all of us were and some of us were not, some of those young, but she wasn't. She was just a straight up tomboy, you know. So you know, some people knew, some people didn't, But I never said anything.

00:06:00
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, boost Mobile is proving that you do not have to overpay for great wireless. Unlock the savings with a twenty five dollars a month forever unlimited plan. It's a permanent price with no contracts and no price hikes, so you can keep your phone, your number, and you can save up the six hundred dollars a year compared to other major carriers. So stop overpaying and switch to a fair price at boost mobile dot com and do it today, based on average annual single line payment of AT and T Verizon and T Mobile customers compared to twelve months on the boost Mobile Unlimited plan as of January twenty twenty six. For full offer details, visit boostmobile dot com. So good for you. So you mess somebody, It was like, now, fuck this, we are gonna u We're gonna be ourselves, We're gonna be out here. Was it a conversation or was it a demand?

00:06:44
Speaker 1: No, she actually led that I was I was fine with her being in a.

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Speaker 3: For the first time. I didn't give a buck for the first time. I didn't care. It was at Essence twenty nineteen, twenty eighteen or twenty nineteen, one of them. It was twenty eighteen to twenty nineteen, and it was a new New Orleans and I got to see her. Her and her crew came to my hotel, so we met up, and then we went to Morrows and uh. Then we had rehearsal at the Essence Fest and I just wanted to walk through the crowd holding her hand. I wanted her to sit that ass in my lap. You were in love, in love, and I wanted everybody. I didn't give a damn who My team was like, what is going on? When I grabbed her hand, my team grabbed each other's hands, and we all grabbed together like we was walking through the crowd. Like they did not know what to do. When I set her on my lap in the dressing room, they immediately shut the door because they're so used to like me, not being like that for years, never being like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so protecting that and protecting you.

00:07:43
Speaker 3: But this one right here made me just want to be like, I want people to see how happy I am and who's making me feel this way?

00:07:49
Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: When was the What was the reaction besides from your team freaking out a little bit?

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Speaker 3: Ain't nobody saytion to me?

00:07:55
Speaker 2: No, nobody's gonna say sit to me? How did you feel? I feel good.

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Speaker 3: I was waiting for people to say something to me so I could be like, yep, because.

00:08:06
Speaker 2: You were ready.

00:08:07
Speaker 3: I was ready ready, yeah, freeing it is. Nobody had ever made me feel ready. And I'm not knocking any of the previous things or whatever, but relationships, but apparently they just weren't what they should have been.

00:08:23
Speaker 2: So what is the difference when you when you find real love, when you find that type of love that makes you want to change your whole life?

00:08:29
Speaker 1: Girl?

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Speaker 3: Your body tells you, your spirit tells you, your butterflies tell you, your stomach tells you you might have to ship or throw up. Yeah, it's just so many different things. Like you just feel it. You just feel a tingling and a burning and like your soul. It's crazy because I was like, oh my god, I never felt this before. This is something totally different, and I just wanted I just child.

00:08:56
Speaker 2: I had you dated a lot, Yeah yeah, quite a bit enough to know that this was different.

00:09:01
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:09:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was still dating when we first got together.

00:09:04
Speaker 2: Oh how'd that go for you? M I don't want to bring up a sore spot.

00:09:13
Speaker 1: She just wasn't so forthcoming and honest at.

00:09:16
Speaker 2: The beginning, because you probably used to live in that way for a while all my life.

00:09:21
Speaker 1: Well, she she was cleaning up her mess. I left her alone, though, what do you mean? Yeah? She did.

00:09:25
Speaker 3: We were talking for a while, and I guess, you know, she said I ghosted her a few times and stuff.

00:09:32
Speaker 1: So I said she hadn't fly to Atlanta, and then that's to the phone. I didn't. I was living in New Orleans. She did it to me three times now, three out of She wants to always say, well, it was actually in total that we were supposed to meet. It was only we meet up a few.

00:09:47
Speaker 2: Times we did.

00:09:48
Speaker 1: So what was that about?

00:09:49
Speaker 2: Just you hadn't felt it yet, you didn't realize she was the one.

00:09:52
Speaker 1: I just you know, she she was taking her sweet old time and getting rid of her baggage. And I think it's because she is such a caring person. She was trying to, you know, do it carefully and not hurt anybody too much, and making sure everybody's situation was straight, if she was financially taking care of them, and oh wow, the whole thing, Oh wow, who do we just have her?

00:10:18
Speaker 2: Bump Bee? We had bump By on the show and somebody called it and asked him about like if she should be ready to be married, and bump Bee was like, the first thing you need to do is delete anybody's number in your phone that your wife does not want in your phone, Like you should be your phone should be clear. You got to clear out your life before before you make that step. It takes people time. It's not an easy transition. It's not Did you almost lose her, that's the loser.

00:10:45
Speaker 3: I did lose it.

00:10:45
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:10:46
Speaker 3: We were kind of like dating and talking and stuff. And then I looked up and she was hugged up with some nigga on Instagram. Oh and all you saw was the back of his head and her fucking fingernails like all hugged up behind him. Her grinned from here to m I'm like, damn, you could have told me you was moving on.

00:11:05
Speaker 1: I could have told her I was moving on, but she wasn't. She would have me come to Atlanta and I into the phone, and so she also did this thing that she said has nothing to do with nobody she was dealing with. I could get her between certain hours and then after certain hours it was either slow on nor response.

00:11:22
Speaker 2: So tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky red flags whatever. Right.

00:11:27
Speaker 1: You know usually that mede you live with somebody, or you have a situation, or you know, you're just not available because you have you so committed to other things.

00:11:36
Speaker 2: So were you but were you into her already? Like was that breaking your heart? Or were you kind of like this ain't this isn't this isn't this ain't it.

00:11:43
Speaker 1: I was into her, but I also was trying to because she also is. It's like you had to peel some of her layers bag. Well, first of all, I told her first, I was like, I'm interested in you. So I approached her right, you pursued her right? And would that being the case? I didn't know if she didn't know how to come municate that she had other stuff going on and she didn't know how to communicate that. Hey, she was into me, but not in that way. So I just I continue to try to date her. But then once I got that kind of response, I was like, yeah, I don't she got something going on. She I don't know what she got going on, especially since she was like you said, she was in the closet. People didn't know her business. So and he didn't tell her.

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Speaker 3: I didn't tell her because I didn't want to lose her, because you know, you tell some people, they'd be like, oh, hell no, I'm not dealing with that shit.

00:12:27
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

00:12:28
Speaker 3: So I didn't tell her. And that's the thing in the book, like I should have told her, you know what I'm saying. So everybody's in a relationship, or if you're in the beginning of your relationship, come clean with all your baggage. Tell them everything that they need to know, and give them an option, you know, whether they want to stick around or not. But that's hard to do when you don't want to lose the person, when you know you've never felt this way before and you don't want to lose them, you don't want to risk it. So I ain't tell her shit. I was just trying to clean it up, like Okay, look, I can't talk to you no more.

00:12:57
Speaker 2: It's over like you know, but it's it's not an easy thing to dots. Well, I got mine. U messed with a little bit too, like you know, yeah I heard you, but you stuck it out. So what did you see? What was the thing? What was the thing that attracted to you to her in the first place? So she is what she is, you know.

00:13:24
Speaker 1: So prior to that, she so we were working together. I hired her to do like some Colidscope promo for me, and she started following me on social media. She would leave like a little nice comments. She would be all my live and just she just was nice. And I was like, is she being nice? And she being nice? You know, so and then we used to DM every now and then, so she just was nice. And then I was when I got when she said we were. I was out here in Atlanta. I was doing this entrepreneurship tour and she popped up there to surprise me and she said, you know, she was like, let's link later, and I was like okay, but no, no, no, no.

00:14:06
Speaker 3: First of all, she was doing this judy dropping knowledge to her. So I walk in this convention center and it's like five ten thousand people, and I'm like, Okay, what the fuck did this lady do?

00:14:18
Speaker 2: What is going on here?

00:14:19
Speaker 3: You just thought she was like a cute girl, who do no I They hired me to do some stuff with Kaleidoscope, so I just wanted to meet the owner and maybe we since I was in town and she was in town, we could do some more videos or something. So I stopped by to see her. Try to have me waiting in front of good twenty thirty minutes, I'm looking like, okay, I'm the brad h and I'm sitting here waiting on this lady. But she was making her way through the crowd, signing pictures and autographs. So she finally got to me, and it was so busy in the front. I was like, you know what, I'm going to the studio. Let's just leap later. You know, I'm thinking, you know, she gonna bring the camera crew and everybody and all these people. She was like, ool, okay, let's link later. So she gets to sow So Deaf to the studio and she's herself when she get out with this long draping ponytail, jewelry, nails, cute ass outfit out of the car and I'm like, where's your security of somebody? And so she said, I came by myself. I was like, okay, now she had her her little gun with her, so but still like in a studio like I did.

00:15:20
Speaker 2: It was cute. It could be a thousand niggas in the studio, you know what I'm saying.

00:15:24
Speaker 3: It could be. It could have been a building that had ten studios in it. You don't know where you coming to in Atlanta. You don't just pull up by yourself. So anyway, she got in there and we just talking, and you know, I'm not interested in her like that. I don't even know she like women. So we talking and we're talking about the things were interested in. We're talking about hair and making hair grow back in the New Orleans and Chicago and Atlanta, and we just having good conversation and she goes, I'm interested in you, and I was like, ex excuse me? What turned off and fucked me.

00:16:02
Speaker 2: Really bad?

00:16:03
Speaker 3: Like I was like, okay, get your cool together. My stomach started hurting like all kinds of things that I had never felt before.

00:16:09
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm thinking, how.

00:16:11
Speaker 3: You interested in me?

00:16:12
Speaker 2: You like women like you like me? It just threw me for a loop.

00:16:16
Speaker 3: I tried to, you know, drink some Hendessy. Put the Hennessy cup to my mouth. It pulled all over my shirt. Like I was really throwed off, like my equilibrium or something was really fucked up. So I said, okay, I'm gonna roll the blunt. I'm gonna be cool about this shit. I roller blunt the cherry. I must haven't rolled it tight enough. The cherry fell off the blunt and burnt the count. I said, you know what, Okay, this is not gonna work. I was just fucked up after that, like nervous, shy. I could bear a talk like, oh, I didn't know what to do with myself. So from there we started kind of like dating.

00:16:51
Speaker 2: And then that's when she said.

00:16:53
Speaker 3: That's when she said, I ghosted her and they were trying to figure out your life, but I wasn't, you know, I didn't tell her, and I probably should have told her.

00:17:03
Speaker 2: But I didn't want to lose her. And so are you like strict on your rules like when you see red flags or things like that, or somebody.

00:17:10
Speaker 1: Gonna say because I didn't care that she was cleaning stuff up. It was the mixed signals because when we like. After we had our break and we decided to start again, she came clean and told me what it was, and I gave her time. I literally told her get all that shit together. I'm not gonna give you a year, but get all that shit together while we're doing what we're doing. Because I didn't stop dating her while she was cleaning it up. I gave her time to clean it up. It's just so much cha yes saying.

00:17:41
Speaker 2: After she did it, I was like, Oh, I love that bitch.

00:17:45
Speaker 1: We were in a coop mushta all in my head.

00:17:47
Speaker 3: Bush me in my eyes. I was like, I'm so sadd give a fuck what you got going on. Get your ship together, you know, and we can make this work.

00:17:57
Speaker 2: You and you believed she would?

00:18:00
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:18:00
Speaker 3: Yeah because she did, Yeah she did. I didn't want to lose her again. Yeah, because I had stopped her when she got with that nigga and I saw it on Instagram. I was like, oh, hell Na, so I'm texting her. She blocked me.

00:18:13
Speaker 2: I'm texting her.

00:18:14
Speaker 3: She blocked me because the nigga had apparently seen our exchanges and was like, oh hell no, he didn't want her talking to me. And it's like she was with this nigga, but ah, like it seemed like it had to be like six months to a year something like that. So you know, I'm checking the page every day. I knew I had never felt like she made me feel, and I ain't want to lose that, you know what I'm saying. I'm checking the page every day, and then it's like, okay, every week because every day made me feel like it ain't gonna never damn happen.

00:18:42
Speaker 2: So I'm checking and I'm scrolling.

00:18:44
Speaker 3: Finally, after like damn, it had to be seven eight months, I don't know the nigga's pictures.

00:18:49
Speaker 2: We wasn't on the page no more, and I was like, oh my god, I'm shot. That's my shot.

00:18:54
Speaker 3: I'm finna get in the DMS because she had blocked my number. So I'm like, hey, how you doing? Like, Hey, what's going on?

00:19:00
Speaker 2: How you been?

00:19:02
Speaker 3: Like you know, she was going through something in that situation, because that nigga wasn't ship anyway. So it was meant for us to happen, not saying it was meant for him to do what he did, but something in our cards made us come back together. I mean clearly meant you to and now you've been married, how.

00:19:26
Speaker 1: Long it's gonna be? Four years on a twenty second.

00:19:30
Speaker 2: How exciting that is?

00:19:32
Speaker 1: I know, yeah, it seems it's funny to seem like that long.

00:19:35
Speaker 2: I know, how has marriage changed you guys?

00:19:39
Speaker 3: You know what?

00:19:40
Speaker 2: I have to curb my temper.

00:19:42
Speaker 3: I've had to learn how to be more patient. I've learned a lot of things, like I got a lot to lose now I have a whole family, a son.

00:19:51
Speaker 1: You know.

00:19:53
Speaker 3: I learned how to listen more opposed to just responding to defend myself.

00:19:59
Speaker 2: This sounds like therapy. Had we had therapy a little bit. We don't do it now, but we did a couple of times. We did what we was on the show, and we did the show, and we did it one the two times after. Yeah.

00:20:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, we still have a lot of things we working on. We are a work in progress, you know what I'm saying. We're a couple like any other couple, any relationship. Shit ain't always sweet, you know what I'm saying. But the people that read the book, the influencers and everybody, they love it. They can't put it down. They pick it up and they don't stop till it's done. What is the best lesson to like about marriage that you've learned so far? The best lesson one of our golden rules in the book is communication. And I think you have to communicate with your partner because if you disagree about something shit, you gotta find a happy medium. You know, even if you don't agree all the way, you gotta find half that makes you happy and half that makes her happy and meet in the middle. Like shut the fuck ups, you know what I'm saying. Like, and I'm I used to be good for keeping it going, like I ain't shutting the fuck up, you shut the fuck up, but now I just shut the fuck up.

00:21:10
Speaker 2: She can have it, you know, but she has two ways, same way she can have it.

00:21:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we agree to you choose your battles.

00:21:19
Speaker 2: I feel like when you fight, you'll probably fight.

00:21:22
Speaker 3: No, no, you know what what happens is I'm so mature now, Oh my god. When when we fuss or have a disagreement her, she'll raise her voice. And when she start raising her voice, I'll be like, bring it down, because if both of us start yelling, it's not gonna be good.

00:21:41
Speaker 2: Yea.

00:21:42
Speaker 3: So she will bring it down a notch. But then she'll take it the fuck back up. And then when she takes it back up, she'll walk away.

00:21:49
Speaker 1: Right But I walk away to the escalator. I'm not working. I'm not walking away to walk out of the conversation, you know. I mean, like, I can't do this right now. Like it's not that I don't want to entertain you, it's just this is about to this is about to be a screaming war, or we're gonna say something we don't mean, or this isn't which.

00:22:08
Speaker 3: We haven't done yet, by the way, and we won't.

00:22:10
Speaker 1: Right I'm not in a place to be able to rationally talk to you about what we're talking about right now. So my mature action is to leave. But she hates that.

00:22:19
Speaker 3: I think it's disrespectful and I think it's rude because if we're in the heated conversation and we're sitting in the bed disagreeing about something, and you get up and walk down, and you just left me sitting in the bed, where the fuck is you going? And then she'll go do She's she compartmentalized as well, so she'll go put this in a little compartment and go deal with some kaleidoscope stuff and be the CEO of the company, and I'm sitting in the bed trying to figure out when we're gonna resolve this situation, you know, and then we I don't like going to bed mad and she could just get some cereal or cook some dinner and go to bed and sleep well.

00:23:00
Speaker 1: And we be sleeping with.

00:23:01
Speaker 3: Our back towards each other, and I hate that, Like I don't like that. I'd be wanting some skin and want to scoop my booty over on, you know, and get chimed. I don't like what we disagree and we don't resolve it. But sometimes we don't resolve it, and we need to do better at that.

00:23:20
Speaker 1: I'm a work in progress and that's all I told her. I will work on her. I just try not to, you know, I try not to be angry if we're trying to resolve something and we're really trying to come to a common ground. I know I can't. I can't talk to you in a steak yeah, because it's just I'm not I'm not thinking because right now I won't cut you below your knees, like you know, when Cardie B says she go to hell, you go low. She go to hell, I go lower in it, and I never want.

00:23:47
Speaker 2: To be like and she's never done that, and she's never said anything. Give her break when she needs a minute to cool.

00:23:54
Speaker 3: Off, But then bring your ass back and need to talk about it. Don't just forget about it all fucking Okay, at least it's pillow talking out before we go to sleep. Yeah, come to some type of resolve. Don't just take you away to sleep.

00:24:09
Speaker 1: She says, that's fair.

00:24:10
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, look at you guys working through things in real time.

00:24:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, in real life. Actually, I have some.

00:24:16
Speaker 2: Scenarios, relationship scenarios. Let's go through some of these. I thought they were pretty good because people can learn. Listen, everybody's trying to figure out how to do a relationship. Yeah, everybody. Nobody's perfect, and it's not easy. Nobody takes work. Nobody's perfect. Right, I have to find my cards. Here we go. I in real life couple scenarios, one partner needs space after a long day while the other feels disconnected without immediate quality time. Who should ad just in that moment, the person who needs space or the person who feels disconnected. I think the person who feels disconnected, because if a person needs space. They need space for like, if she needs space, it may be too clear her mind because she's got a lot of shit on her plate being the CEO of a company. So then I feel like I need to just give her some space and I can deal with my situation before we go to bed, or when we lay down, or you know, whenever we can talk about it. Look at you? Look at how cute y'all are? Okay, in real life couple scenarios. In real life, a couple notices intimacy has slowed down, but neither person wants to make the first move because they don't want to feel rejected. Who should break the silence? Both of both either?

00:25:38
Speaker 1: Right, Because then even if you're not saying nothing, you can do little actions.

00:25:41
Speaker 3: Yeah you can touch that ass, We'll stick your tongue in the mouth for ear.

00:25:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, whatever, Yeah, make the move. I know that's not a hard thing.

00:25:54
Speaker 1: Maybe in some people's relationship, you know, Like example, if a woman had a child or something and she's just not for it, and she might not.

00:26:03
Speaker 2: Just be for like emotionally, she might not be right moremonally, blame that to her partner and they kind of understand.

00:26:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, and not be mad.

00:26:11
Speaker 3: You gotta have a little patience, especially if somebody just had a baby or something that serious.

00:26:16
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:26:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, one partner becomes more hands on with parenting and the other one takes more financial responsibility and they both feel stretched. How do you decide what fairness looks like in that season? Like, how do you distribute like parenting.

00:26:32
Speaker 1: Or like that's a good question. I think we kind of like that right now.

00:26:36
Speaker 2: She is I'll be mommy and my ass on really yeah.

00:26:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I work from home a lot.

00:26:42
Speaker 2: To put out all these fires and stuff.

00:26:44
Speaker 1: Right, I'll actually be at home, but i'll be working.

00:26:48
Speaker 3: A break.

00:26:49
Speaker 2: She'll come and play with us.

00:26:50
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And steaky man don't like me working, so he don't care who I'm on a call with, who I'm on the zoom with. He is going to he's gonna close my computer or take my friend.

00:27:03
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:27:03
Speaker 3: She takes mine too and sits it down like yep. Yeah, but she is uh more mommy the active now we both are.

00:27:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she do you feel no way about that? Does that ever feel?

00:27:19
Speaker 4: No?

00:27:19
Speaker 2: You're okay with that?

00:27:20
Speaker 1: No, I'm actually because I'm present. It's not like I'm missing. I'm present. And I might even be in the room, like we're all in the room and we're all doing the thing, but I might have my computer out doing something and then or if it's something that I feel like, oh this is important. Hey guys, I'm gonna have to pick this up in a few let me call you back.

00:27:41
Speaker 2: I want to get back to these, because some of these are that good. But going back to that, because I know you talk about that in the book too, the moment of you, you deciding that you were going to carry the baby, and you were like, why me, why did you think her?

00:27:56
Speaker 1: I didn't mind? And I told her that I didn't mind. I didn't I didn't care if I did it or not. But I know the person that she. If you know her well enough, you know she's the most nurturing person your media, whole entire life. I knew she was going to enjoy the experience.

00:28:12
Speaker 2: Because you had already had.

00:28:15
Speaker 1: Had done it.

00:28:15
Speaker 2: So it was for the experience you.

00:28:17
Speaker 3: Wanted her to absolutely and she and she did exactly what I wished for. She enjoyed every.

00:28:27
Speaker 1: At all. You know, she didn't have bigness, none of that, No pains.

00:28:33
Speaker 3: My ankle swelled up a little bit, but I thought that was cute. And my toes kind of was like Vienna sausages. But she had a schedulc section, so she never experienced My stomach.

00:28:43
Speaker 2: Just got big and tight.

00:28:44
Speaker 3: But other than that, you know, learning all the things that pregnant women go through. And I had so many questions, Like I told my wife one time.

00:28:52
Speaker 2: My titties are not getting no milk.

00:28:54
Speaker 3: I'm not drinking enough milk.

00:28:55
Speaker 2: We got to get some more milk in the house. I got to keep drinking milk.

00:28:58
Speaker 3: From drinking milk, you get milk. I know, it's stupid, like if you don't know you if you've never been a period, you don't know.

00:29:05
Speaker 4: Right.

00:29:06
Speaker 1: She liked it from when we first saw the little seed, so when you got to see it as a certain size, and when the baby first kicked all of the things, she thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't.

00:29:17
Speaker 3: She wouldn't change, and that is that's our child together. But that's her sign child that didn't carry him. You know, my eggs was fried. We used her eggs and the donor and you know, being able to carry him. It was just everything.

00:29:31
Speaker 1: Why were your fried?

00:29:32
Speaker 2: Because I'm old bitch.

00:29:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, they go, like a baby, you know in your.

00:29:40
Speaker 2: Forty when you carry nine. Oh you were forty nine when you carry got it? Yeah, so you had the eggs. Yeah, you like, let me get one of those. Yeah, it's mix them things. Let's look this thing. And then people had so many opinions about the complexion of your baby or the color of your baby.

00:29:57
Speaker 3: Girl, I don't give a fuck about what she is. The one that gave a fuck. I don't give a fuck about what the people say. We had to make a decision, so it wasn't that I gave a fuck.

00:30:06
Speaker 1: I think the missing thing in the storyline was what actually happened. What actually happened. You have to do genetic testing, and when you do genetic testing, it shows all of the things that I am a carrier of. And so when it showed all of the things that I am a carrier of, and we put that in the sperm banks thing, the registrants for black people, which to zero, it did Wow. People don't realize that that black men don't donate as much sperm as the rest of the races. So our chances of getting a black donor heightened our chances of our baby having an illness. So it was like there was no there was no choice, but they picked up the sound bite the her fucking ass. I don't want her to repeat it, but she just was on our show. We were scrolling, and you know, for the show you do stuff, we were scrolling. This was before we did the genetic input. She was scrolling and she was giving her opinion about the looks of different people. And they caught the clip of one specific person that she talked about, and they made it as if she was saying that about everybody, and she wasn't. So it's not again, it's not that I care what people say. I just wanted the truth out. I wanted the facts out. I didn't want it to just be we chose this way because we didn't want that way. No, we chose that way because we had to.

00:31:29
Speaker 2: We didn't have an option, right.

00:31:31
Speaker 1: I literally went on social media and I uploaded my genetic testing results and I said, y'all can take that shit. Go plug it in. Go on any spring back right now and plug all that shit in and tell me what you're fine.

00:31:43
Speaker 3: See that's too much. They don't know about us, They don't know shit about Fuck them people, Okay, it's about what makes us happy, me and my family, and that's.

00:31:56
Speaker 1: On our baby. Absolutely fucked the people, right, So when that was I was like, nah, and my wife is pregnant and my wife was married, right, that too was like, y'all doing too much, y'all doing the time, too fucking much.

00:32:15
Speaker 2: Right now, Oh, we didn't take none of your joy away, right, It didn't.

00:32:19
Speaker 3: It didn't take my joy away because I don't look at it. I don't look at that ship. I don't What will you teach your baby about race?

00:32:26
Speaker 2: About that? Because they don't have to come here. He's gonna have to come into a world where that exists.

00:32:30
Speaker 3: Like, Yeah, we're just gonna tell him. We're gonna just keep it one hundred with him and tell him and explain everything to him that he needs to know, you know what I'm saying, so that he understands everything, and and and when people come to him anyway sideways, things go left, he'll be prepared to answer all of those questions.

00:32:48
Speaker 2: He's gonna know who he is, where he's.

00:32:50
Speaker 3: From, Why he's from New Orleans, he's from Chicago, From Chicago.

00:32:56
Speaker 1: I'm not doing this. He was born in Atlanta. But I'm from New Orleans.

00:32:59
Speaker 2: So he's guys, you figure this out, Yeah, from New Orleans.

00:33:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's gonna love playing in the snow and stuff, you know, and he's gonna eat crawfish.

00:33:10
Speaker 2: No not yes, I don't want him eating the little animals. It's too much work you have to do to get out for the ass of an animal.

00:33:18
Speaker 1: It's not the ass.

00:33:21
Speaker 3: You gotta take the guts out and all the stuff, and then go for the littless people fucking meet. They don't even satisfy your appetite. At least get a crab leg.

00:33:31
Speaker 2: What is your hope for this book? Like, what do you think want people to get from it? Learn from it, Learn from your relationship and your story.

00:33:41
Speaker 1: That it's never too late for love. It's okay to give second chances. It comes to you when you're not looking facts. If you've been hurt, don't project that on somebody else, Like give yourself time to heal.

00:33:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, because she don't let me talk to my exes.

00:34:00
Speaker 2: We don't.

00:34:01
Speaker 1: It's not Yeah, where did that come from?

00:34:03
Speaker 3: Because you were saying, you know past relationships. How does she just I just I just said that, because you know a past relationship, she had something happened with her ex talking to the excess, so we don't do the like, you know.

00:34:18
Speaker 1: But that's the thing though, you know, people usually don't talk to their exes like that's the thing is it?

00:34:23
Speaker 3: Can you talk to your ex well relationships, not in a flirting way? But I feel like you don't leave the door open for the just in case or you don't let me still right, but yeah, every now and then, correct, but.

00:34:36
Speaker 1: Right for those reasons. But if you don't have any reason to keep in touch with them, you don't have to keep in touch.

00:34:41
Speaker 2: Like checking on you. You don't want to how you do it?

00:34:44
Speaker 1: I mean, because that that can eventually turn into hey boo, what's up? Or you know, damn I'm I'm sad I don't get a chance at it or whatever because you just don't. Never do that, no, not saying you Okay, if you leave an open line of communication with somebody else and they're having a hard time any think of you. First, I felt like, you just don't leave that door open for that even to be a thing like, don't don't even leave the door open for the for the disrespectful communication even try to happen.

00:35:12
Speaker 2: And please don't I will I wouldn't her.

00:35:16
Speaker 1: Listen this lady text the textile asks about her pretty feet?

00:35:22
Speaker 2: Is this recently?

00:35:23
Speaker 4: This was?

00:35:23
Speaker 1: No, this was in the beginning. This was in the beginning, and it was when we first started, when we first started dating. It was some of the cleanup that she had going on. And so this is supposed to be cleaned up. And the lady sending her a picture of her feet and she said, oh, those are pretty.

00:35:42
Speaker 2: Oh what is this?

00:35:49
Speaker 1: I thought? I thought, I thought this was done well because my first thing was, why are you even still talking to her? And I see because this is a recent accident. This is why you still talking. What y'all got to talk about? What is that to talk about her?

00:36:05
Speaker 4: FI?

00:36:06
Speaker 1: I don't know, absolutely not.

00:36:08
Speaker 2: This is why you can't. This is why you can't talk to nobody. Okay, just don't talk.

00:36:12
Speaker 1: We have each other.

00:36:13
Speaker 2: Do we have the same pit numbers across all of it?

00:36:15
Speaker 1: Do you have like an open we have my my past call is her past code? So yes, now that that's still is privacy though, right, So my birthday is coming up, right, so if I know that something like that's coming up, I'm not gonna go on her phone like that because I know she's probably trying to plan something whatever. I'm not going to ruin any surprise or anything like that, but yeah I could.

00:36:37
Speaker 2: But if you need to make a call and her phone is there, yeah, yeah, pick up her phone. So even if I wanted to go and I want to Instagram or yeah, any of that, right.

00:36:45
Speaker 1: Because already social media sometimes and I like that, So I'll be going in there fun doing the ship and you you scroll through the d ms sometimes, I told her, though I deleted one recently because who the fuck was she talking to?

00:37:01
Speaker 2: No, not you, I'm talking to person that say look in my dms?

00:37:07
Speaker 3: What I look at them? Like if I don't have a person's number, it's a celebrity or my friend, and to communicate to them, do.

00:37:14
Speaker 1: There and be like, no, I know what I look through.

00:37:17
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00:38:04
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00:38:05
Speaker 2: Download the hard Rock Bet app and make your first deposit today. All right, So we have a segment to voice not to either question or comment, usually from a you know listener to the podcast. So who is this person?

00:38:18
Speaker 1: We have a name Sierra.

00:38:20
Speaker 2: Sierra, So this is for you guys.

00:38:22
Speaker 4: Okay, Hi, Brandon, Hi, my partner and I want to start a business together. But I'm scared that if we break up then everything might fall apart. I don't want the relationship to cost us success, and I don't want success to cost us the relationship. How do you decide if it's worth the risk to go into business with your partner.

00:38:49
Speaker 1: We have been able to be successful in business because of our setup, and that's because, like in these so, she loves the domesticated side of it, right. She loves like, I don't have to take out the trash, I don't have to wash any dishes. I don't have to I don't know when the housekeepers are coming. She handles all of that. I handle all of the business side of it and the money. So when it comes to stuff like that, business for us was my decision. So it's whatever I have the capacity to do, and she supports it. So even when it comes down to her hair collection, I brought the stuff to her. I brought a finished product to her. I brought I bought a finished idea to her. Let her do her input, but I carry the load of what that looks like when it came to the book, even down to hey, we should do the tour, all of that. She's going to show up, but she's not doing the logistics. She's not doing none of that. So I'm saying that to say because I've also had a business with somebody in the past, as well, and it don't always work successful like this one. I think the only reason they works successful this time is because she lets me lead it and I like to do it. So I think the struggle that happens in relationships is a person might feel like they don't want to spend this much on this, or they don't want to have to do this kind of work, or they don't want to have to do because even down to her when it came into two, she said, we're doing what you want me to be away from my son for how long or you know? So I don't think it's a bad idea. I can tell you that it's very risky and I would never make I would because I don't sell people. Dreams are very transparent. I was only worked because of our.

00:40:44
Speaker 3: Setup, because she's willing to do it.

00:40:48
Speaker 1: Just don't make her do the logistics as long as I'm caring the logistics, and that works for us.

00:40:53
Speaker 2: Because I've never had to do all of that ship.

00:40:55
Speaker 1: I just try to do what I got to do because you're an artist, right right, exactly, a kid. It's a kid. I know that I don't handle the finances.

00:41:04
Speaker 2: I don't handle none of that ship what's the rounding number.

00:41:08
Speaker 1: That's the thing because she she's she hasn't ever had to do that.

00:41:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it actually works for you guys.

00:41:14
Speaker 1: Correct.

00:41:15
Speaker 2: You don't have to compromise how you do it.

00:41:16
Speaker 1: Correct.

00:41:17
Speaker 2: You can just handle it right.

00:41:18
Speaker 1: And then if I if I ever have an issue of questions, I didn't call the person that handles her stuff.

00:41:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, they see your question. By the way, Tierra, but you also said this. You said, even as a married couple, when you're collaborating on business, that it's important to keep paperwork in order.

00:41:32
Speaker 1: Correct.

00:41:33
Speaker 2: What does that mean?

00:41:34
Speaker 1: So when we did her.

00:41:37
Speaker 3: Uh cacope brad my line right, her collection line, I made sure she had a license in deal right, even though it's I didn't want one because I felt like whatever she makes, whatever I make, it's all together anyway.

00:41:50
Speaker 1: No, I wanted her to have her specific income off of that. I wanted her. I wanted to make sure that every single thing that we sold with her face and her likeness on it, she got residual. She got money off of it, whether because you know the company we're married, but the company is is. I don't want I don't want her to feel like she's obligated to have to give me anything, you know, So by the book, she needs to sign the papers and make sure that she was getting her just due.

00:42:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so sweet.

00:42:24
Speaker 1: She's looking out for you, I know.

00:42:27
Speaker 2: But you said that you shouldn't just go into blind trust of your partner, that you should have PaperWorks, clear lines and clear correct. You have no you have no opinion on this to you. This is all her right.

00:42:39
Speaker 3: Because I just feel like whatever I have, it's it's hers. We just share everything, period. I feel like we didn't need paperwork. If it was coming in from my face for Kaleidoscope, then it was just coming into Kaleidoscope.

00:42:50
Speaker 2: You just blindly trust her.

00:42:52
Speaker 1: But then the revenue needed to be sort of a certain kind of way, you know what I'm saying. I wanted to make sure that she got per quarter, she got her earning, so she also was able to know her earning potential because whether it was me or whether it was somebody else, she made millions her portion.

00:43:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was just went into the millions of DuPont with the Kaleidoscope stuff and recycled and did whatever had to Dole's trust her.

00:43:20
Speaker 1: I do because on the other side, of it. Kaleidoscope is a business, it's his on entity. She needed to have something from that instead of it just being a part of the revenue that's going to go into a line item for the budget. No, that's that's royal.

00:43:36
Speaker 2: But I didn't mind. So now are there any rules, like she asked the question, how do you know? Like when is it good? Like when should it? Do you advise it? Do you recommend in relationships to be in business?

00:43:49
Speaker 1: I think like minded people probably could get away with it, or people that are in a situation like this where they're different but they're one of them is strong and one thing and the other one is strong in the other thing. You know, as long as the means.

00:44:04
Speaker 2: Any business partner, that's that's a better fit anyway. So whether it's you're in a relationship or not, you should probably just decide if you're good business partner separate from good relationship.

00:44:15
Speaker 1: Right, because the strets also can't outweigh each other like it can't be. Hey, this person is strong at making the place pretty, and this person is strong at logistics, the cooking, and y'all got to a restaurant. The cooking the higher and it is it still should be where it's fair, because then when somebody's burned out, they don't they don't want to.

00:44:35
Speaker 2: Do it holding all the way. Yeah, yeah, right, that's really good. All right in real life, Let's go to our job. Beautiful, Oh my god, you got to too cute, Hey, guys. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference. Well, you are not alone, and this is exactly why I wanted to you about Walden University. For over fifty years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the w with the knowledge, the skills and everything you need to build the future that you want, and you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to waldenu dot edu and take that first step. Walden University set a course for Change, certified to operate by SHIV sor I r L bowl. These are your reading wait, these are your reading glasses? Dases? My eyes got bigger. What have you always wanted to do?

00:45:38
Speaker 1: But have it?

00:45:39
Speaker 2: I don't know that question.

00:45:40
Speaker 3: That answer what I always wanted to do but haven't. Uh the bucket listen, you have a bucket about this. I would like to work with Anderson Pank Okay, ask you, yeah, I would like to do it. Do a whole project with Anderson pack Wow. Yeah, I think he's amazing.

00:46:05
Speaker 1: I would like to have more time with my family, that's all of mine. I would like to not have to be so so hands on my business every day. So I would love to just build a strong enough team to not be as taken away.

00:46:20
Speaker 2: That's funny because when you were talking about that before, it seemed like it didn't bother you, but it probably does bother you.

00:46:25
Speaker 3: Before we had a baby, I told her that I was really working hard to make sure that once he came, I could be more present than I was in the past. So but you and mom young right, yes, fifteen, fifteen, fifteen, seventeen, nineteen. I can't imagine you know, Well, that's so inspiring that you were able, because that could have taken a lot of people down, Like, how do you even.

00:46:47
Speaker 2: She got put out?

00:46:48
Speaker 1: What do you mean she got put out the house at seventeen and seventeen, so.

00:46:51
Speaker 2: You're seventeen at that point you have what two kids?

00:46:54
Speaker 1: Yep, Well I was pregnant.

00:46:56
Speaker 2: You was pregnant.

00:46:56
Speaker 1: I got put off getting pregnant again for your second And where did you go? I'm moved it with my baby daddy. How'd that go? It didn't work? Yeah, it didn't work, But I mean it wasn't supposed to.

00:47:13
Speaker 2: Yeahs I believe that.

00:47:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're supposed to.

00:47:17
Speaker 2: But how inspiring though, because you know it's hard. It's hard to even do that, just do that part of life.

00:47:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, being a single mother.

00:47:26
Speaker 2: Being a single mother with them kids that young, still probably learning who you are. Yeah, you don't even have a grasp of who you areteen seventeen.

00:47:33
Speaker 1: I say that. So I feel like, according to the world standards, I shouldn't be where I am according to the world standards. But I also feel like adversity builds you and builds your character. Like I'm a Hurricane Katrina survivor. You know, so I've experienced a loss of everything and having to figure out how to get it back. So I feel like those skills of having to be a mother, figuring out for my family, lose everything, getting bag makes you feel like anything is possible and you don't be scared to take risks because what's the worst that could happen? I lost, I lost everything before.

00:48:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't like that ship.

00:48:11
Speaker 3: I don't like gambling and taking risks.

00:48:13
Speaker 2: Were you in Katrina with your with your kids?

00:48:15
Speaker 1: Were you in the New Orleans? I was in New Orleans, UH, with my children when Katrina happened. They evacuated, though I can't.

00:48:26
Speaker 2: Evacuate all of New Orleans.

00:48:28
Speaker 4: We so.

00:48:33
Speaker 1: There was a hurricane that happened right before Katrina, and so I think a lot of people don't take into account that in order for you to evacuate, you have to have money, and you have to have money and be away from your job. You have to lose money and have money. So a lot of New Orleans had just evacuated for the hurricane that came before. So when it was time to evacuate again, because the first one that we evacuated before, ain't shit happened. Like people were taking their furniture and everything. So then when a second one came, a lot of people stayed because they had just depleted what they had the first time. So we evacuated, but we evacuated very late, so we made it. I think it was like I don't know, the Sunday before, and I had joint custody with my kids, so my but your sing your single mother at the time, man, Yeah, and so my children's father had my boys, and then my daughter was at the time, uh, at my mom's house spending the weekend, and so hey, where y'all going? We just gonna meet up later. You know. It's just like because we thought we was leaving and coming right back because we had just did that, so he had it. He was heading to I think Atlanta, and my mom and them were heading to a different part of Louisiana that wasn't supposed to be impacted. And then, you know, once you realize you're not going back, like once you realize, oh, this ain't a you know, because then even even the bags that you packed were far lighter because you had just packed your whole house before, so now you packed the I didn't a weekend bag.

00:50:13
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that.

00:50:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, I forget took everything. The yeah, the second one, Katrina took everything.

00:50:21
Speaker 3: And because you thought it was bullshit, because the right was easy.

00:50:25
Speaker 1: Everybody did though. That's why a lot of people stayed. A lot of people felt like, well, why did all those people stay. The motherfuckers had just left. We had just left. We had just I remember packing up even furniture and putting it in one of those U hauls you connect to the back of the thing. But then I bitch, I'm not about to do that again. We're not about to go through We just went through this.

00:50:44
Speaker 2: You know, what did you do when you realized it was bad?

00:50:48
Speaker 1: And that I was I think the thing that killed me. And they still made me emotional. I couldn't get in touch with my kids, like the phones were fucked up, like my my baby daddy had my boys, and I don't know where they went. I didn't know if they had made it out, and so it was days that passed and then I find they finally called me, and I would never forget. I dropped to my knees because I was just so thankful because the direction that he was going in which he wound up pivoting and diverting to got water. So I thought that they had went somewhere that had gotten water, but they didn't. So I convinced him, I'll never forget this because we weren't in a relationship. But you know, mom, gonna do what mom gotta do. I told him, well, hey, if you come to Houston, maybe we could work on our relationship.

00:51:41
Speaker 2: She just wanted her boys.

00:51:42
Speaker 1: I wanted my children. And I tried. I kept my word. We tried. Yeah, maybe the game two hours, but yeah, so evacuated. I had to start over. What you had to do. Yeah, And at the time, I actually was saving up for a salon, so I had I had some money. It had like, I don't know, probably five thousand. I might have had maybe like twenty three hundred five two between two thousand and five thousand dollars. So I had enough for us to survive for a while. But I didn't qualify for a lot of those things. I was living with my mom, so she you had to have an address that nobody else had claimed to qualify for a lot of things, and since it was my MoMA's residential address, I didn't even try to apply for half of the things because I didn't want my mom, my mom to be impacted.

00:52:35
Speaker 2: So I just left with nothing.

00:52:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's fine because I had a skill. So I snuck back into New Orleans before we were supposed to, and it just so happened at the salon. I was working there. Didn't take a lot of water. So I snug back into New Orleans. I got the pictures that of my cause I used to do hair, got my photo book, and I went back to Houston because that's where a lot of people from New Orleans were, and they got their Fema chicks. And I went up in the most ratchet mall out there. It was called Sharp Some Mall. I moved around Sharp Some Mall and I put out flyers. I went to Kinko's and I made flyers of the hairstyles that I did, and it was New Orleans hairstyles. It was I would write New Orleans and people hair and like I did these big old like the things that New Orleans girls were used to. So I knew that there would be a demand for that, right, So I put out flyers, walked them all and I wound up started getting clients. So I started working.

00:53:29
Speaker 2: Right away right after Katrina.

00:53:31
Speaker 1: Probably it was less than two weeks. Wow, yeah, it was less than Yeah, absolutely.

00:53:36
Speaker 2: Isn't a crazy Women still want to get their hair done. Your house could be gone, rebuilding well.

00:53:44
Speaker 4: Done.

00:53:44
Speaker 1: You want a sense of normalcy. So if well, I'm at the food, don't taste the same, this ain't the same, that ain't the same. I at least want to look the same. I don't want to have to change all of that. So I was able to get clients, and then eventually people started going back to New Orleans, and the girls in New Orleans were needing me more than the girls in Houston. So I was traveling to New Orleans and staying there for three or four days, and then I was just like, I need to go back because this don't make no sense to stay out here, and they need me more out there, and eventually I went back.

00:54:16
Speaker 4: Wow.

00:54:17
Speaker 1: So but I said, surviving losing everything makes you feel like anything is possible and you don't be scared to take a risk.

00:54:28
Speaker 2: Oh that's good, because a lot of people's fear is what stops them from trying their dreams, pushing past their boundary.

00:54:36
Speaker 1: Right like you have to. It's almost like you have to have a traumatic experience of losing everything to know that it's not that scary. So after you've been through something like that, and it's not just Hurricane Toatrina survivors, but anybody that's you know, because I think, did New York have something where there was like some water or something or yeah.

00:54:52
Speaker 3: We've had storms and right, so we had nine exactly.

00:54:56
Speaker 1: So when you lose everything, you just know that you have to rebuild your life. And it's not that it's impossible.

00:55:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just do it.

00:55:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't stop.

00:55:08
Speaker 2: No, what do you love to see? You to me?

00:55:14
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:55:14
Speaker 2: She started talking right there.

00:55:17
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

00:55:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love her.

00:55:19
Speaker 1: I love her.

00:55:21
Speaker 2: I love her from her to now.

00:55:23
Speaker 1: I want her to do everything in life that she wants to do. Though, I think that's the thing that we haven't. We haven't a lined on like when we first started doing life, and I'm like, hey, this is gonna be you know, it's gonna be a ride. It's gonna be a roller coaster.

00:55:37
Speaker 2: You know.

00:55:38
Speaker 1: If there's anything you can if there's anything you want in life, I feel like you can attain it.

00:55:42
Speaker 3: So as I'm doing my goals, I'm like, well, what does she want? Let's make sure that we you know, and she just like whatever you like. When you do that ship, you make me feel like the bitch from coming to America?

00:55:54
Speaker 2: What time about you?

00:55:55
Speaker 1: Like, No, that's everything, whether that's vacation even down to what kind of business. Like I was like, do you want a restaurant, Like, what do you like? You have, you have income coming in, you have things we can be doing. What do you want to do? I don't like what do you want?

00:56:12
Speaker 2: And she just I live my life every day for that day.

00:56:16
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't.

00:56:17
Speaker 3: Whatever she want to do, I'll do.

00:56:19
Speaker 2: I want to do.

00:56:20
Speaker 3: Whatever she want to eat, I'll eat. I eat everything. I don't care, Like if she wants to go somewhere. I've been everywhere. I'm an artist. I've been to London, Paris, Antiquity, Japan, Africa, all of that shit. There's nothing that I want to do in life, Like I don't have a bucket list. I want to jump out of a plane. I don't want to go to the whoever, Like I've done all of that. I just want to be a great wife and a great mommy and be with my family and whatever my wife wants to do that she hasn't done, I want to do that with her. Like I don't care about things like that, Like there's nothing that I want to do or no place I want to go, like, oh it's beautiful, dad, I want to go there. I don't care about that. I've been every fucking where But if she wants to go, if she want to go, I'm going with her and I want to make her have a good time.

00:57:13
Speaker 2: Come on, guys, what that's so cute?

00:57:17
Speaker 3: Like she'd be wanting me to say what.

00:57:19
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't care what we eat.

00:57:21
Speaker 3: She'd be like make I dea, Like okay, let's see ox sails. Fuck it, I don't know, and then she might not want ox sails. That's why I said you desert.

00:57:30
Speaker 1: But if you say I eat it, I know.

00:57:32
Speaker 2: What are you two going to be? Like? Lord willing gives you a long, full life, Like what do you two as older women gonna be like.

00:57:41
Speaker 1: She is gonna be looking out the window every day at our neighbors wondering what they're doing.

00:57:46
Speaker 3: Am I nosy beach?

00:57:47
Speaker 2: You?

00:57:47
Speaker 4: Not?

00:57:47
Speaker 3: No?

00:57:49
Speaker 4: You?

00:57:49
Speaker 2: Just you?

00:57:50
Speaker 1: So? Because she cares about everybody and not like nosy, but she cares if if she found out that something happened, if you have foot surgery and then you posted talking about she might text you randomly and say, hey, I'm just checking on you. Is everything okay? Do you need anything? I see you have foot surgery. I can send groceries to you. Like that's just who she is right. So that's that's how she is and who she is, and that's who she gonna be.

00:58:14
Speaker 2: She'll be taking care of the neighborhood.

00:58:17
Speaker 3: I'll be taking care of her, and we're gonna be taking care of each other just like we do now and having our son come take care of us.

00:58:25
Speaker 2: Girl, how have your kids adjusted to this new your new family?

00:58:32
Speaker 1: My kids, Okay, and I'm gonna say they don't care. My kid I raised them to love first, So when it came to us actually having true I told him they were My youngest son was like, I didn't want the product. And I'm like, okay, well now you get on. But a long time ago, I'm like, all right, whatever. But they don't. They they love him, but they don't.

00:58:55
Speaker 2: You know.

00:58:56
Speaker 1: I feel like this is this generation of kids right now and that at that age I have a twenty seven, twenty five, twenty six, I feel like something like that. I feel like it's three of them and they're somewhere enough.

00:59:11
Speaker 2: Yeah. I felt like their own thing right, their own lives right.

00:59:17
Speaker 1: One of them live with us, and we don't want we see him sometimes. Her daughter lives in New Orleans.

00:59:21
Speaker 2: With because they're grown. They all grown.

00:59:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, yep, we have a grand baby. I have a grand baby and her and True play together like that's funny.

00:59:32
Speaker 3: She's fine and yeah, she's fine, and he's her uncle, right, but they run around.

00:59:38
Speaker 1: The house and they just have a ball I'm talking about. They fall asleep with each other and it makes her cry and want to have another baby when it's time for when it's time by my grandbaby to go. But yeah, they they love him. They don't wonder in real life.

00:59:55
Speaker 2: What are you most proud of about yourselves and each other?

01:00:02
Speaker 1: Oh? About myself? The thing that I'm most proud of for myself is I did a Judi Dropping Knowledge tour some years ago and I was able to teach over twenty thousand people entrepreneurship. But in that time, over five thousand people gave their life to Christ. Wow. Because I held it in churches intentionally, So that was like a mega you know, like you know how you can give the word. That was like I was able to do that many people in a short amount of time, So that I am super successful for I mean, I feel super successful, super proud.

01:00:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, you think I'm proud of that.

01:00:45
Speaker 3: I'm the first female rapper to ever sell a million records. Yeah, because I didn't plan that. I just wanted to be a rapper and wanted the world to know me and sing the songs. So history history, proud to be a part of history and being museums and stuff like that, Like people call like, Yo, you're in the museum, and I'd be so excited, like, Wow, I'm in museums, you know. So thanks to JD for that too.

01:01:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah too. What about for each other or together? In this season of your life, people get to witness this, learn from you sharing so much in your book. Yeah, I'm sure there's people that feel seen by you guys sharing so openly and honestly, Like, I don't know, I'm sure that means something to you.

01:01:28
Speaker 1: I'm just curious. Yeah. So I don't know how to answer that. As far as what I'm most proud of for her.

01:01:35
Speaker 2: No, get together, what you're doing with the work you guys are doing now. I think how you're showing up in the world now.

01:01:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think we should be proud that we had a successful reality show that helped people that we have a great relationship, you know what I mean, Like we talk to each other We're still a work in progress, but we're still here and we are still in love with each other, and we love our child, and you know, we go through situations, but we know how to get through them, you know what I mean. Like we're adults, we too, grown bitches just living the life and being and being happy, and you know, we go through things and we're still here and we love each other.

01:02:15
Speaker 1: I'm so good.

01:02:17
Speaker 2: It's bright and judy in real life. Wait before you go, my last question. It's in the ball. It's one of my favorites. Well, ask everybody if God would have text you right now, what would he say.

01:02:28
Speaker 1: Oh, honestly, if he would have texted me, he would tell me get back focused on my purpose, which is I feel like He gave me this platform and all of these things to continue to show people how anything is possible as long as you have faith. You can have faith of a mustard seed, actually carry around the muscle.

01:02:51
Speaker 2: See you have an actual muster.

01:02:53
Speaker 1: See, yeah, it's in my purse.

01:02:55
Speaker 2: I do.

01:02:56
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you one.

01:02:56
Speaker 2: I would love that, Okay, Yeah I could use one.

01:03:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think that's the thing. I think right now, I've been trying to troubleshoot and fix so many things that it's become more about numbers and logistics than it's become about purpose. So your profit is never supposed to oversee or outweigh your purpose.

01:03:20
Speaker 3: That's good. I gotta follow that.

01:03:23
Speaker 2: Oh I'm sorry, until the text would say.

01:03:27
Speaker 1: Get back focused on your purpose.

01:03:32
Speaker 3: Mine.

01:03:32
Speaker 2: I think by the way you even saying that, yeah, refocused you?

01:03:37
Speaker 4: Yeah?

01:03:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.

01:03:38
Speaker 2: I mean you just offered me and must have seen it. Okay, I don't know how much more on your purpose is supposed to be.

01:03:44
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, like, hey, right, she don't look at me after that?

01:03:49
Speaker 2: Come on, what you got? What is God going to text you? I think God would tell me to go to church more and to.

01:04:01
Speaker 3: Focus on my music more and do what I really love doing, no matter who, no matter how I feel the industry is now or not, just do it because it's what I love to do. Music is my favorite thing.

01:04:16
Speaker 2: Get back to it. Get back to it. Yeah, both of your texts and get back to it.

01:04:21
Speaker 3: Get back to your focus.

01:04:22
Speaker 1: Get back to your music.

01:04:23
Speaker 2: Focus on what you love and who you're here, who you're meant to be.

01:04:27
Speaker 1: You know what you're meant to do while you here.

01:04:30
Speaker 2: I wish you, guys many, many, many many years of this type of thank you and go get the book.

01:04:36
Speaker 3: Everybody, Yes, please go get the book and make sure you listen to Ladies Night and.

01:04:42
Speaker 2: Love streaming the butter.

01:04:48
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, thanks, thanks for having us Yo, what's up? Is your girl?

01:04:56
Speaker 2: Brad and my beautiful wife beauty in real life? Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like comments, and check out all of the other episodes we have on Edge. Martinez Iro Podcast