#96 - Bobby and Amy talk about her New Life with the Kids

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Speaker 1: All right, welcome to episode nine. It's a Sunday at about noon, and Amy's here, and so I wanted to talk to her a bit, and so what happened was, you're not on the air, nor are you going to be on the air as we cut. This is January seven, And just a quick backstory in case you don't listen to the radio show and only listen to the podcast. Amy's been my co host for how many years? Um, going on twelve we'll just say twelve years. Okay, it's fair, it's coming up soon. About seven years ago, Amy said, hey, we're trying to have a baby. About five years ago they said hey we're adopting from Haiti. About two weeks ago they finally got their kids after five years, and so Amy had Christmas break and then she got the kids in Miller Christ's break, and she's taking time off from the show, whatever that means. And so she's here because as much as I can say, hey, don't you you're good not doing the show. You do have clients stuff that you're cutting once a week or some responsibilities. Yeah for now at least. Yeah, with that comment, I thought we'd sit down for a second and then talk to Amy about our life. Let me talk about sleep number real quick. This bobbycast brought to you by Sleep Number. So New Year's resolution is one thing. Maybe now you're already over your news resolution and that's probably are you over yours? Yet? You have any time? Br mom, whether you want to get to the gym more? Are you getting to the gym at all? Yeah? We joined the y because the kids get to go or eating something. I'm gonna talk about that in a second, So don't forget that. Or there's one thing that you can do is sleep better. Most Americans get less than the recommended seven to eight hours sleep at night. If that's you, then how about a sleep number. I have a sleep number. It lets you choose your ideal comfort and support on each side. It's the perfect bed for couples. Their newest beds are so smart they actually sense every move and automatically adjust so that you're sleeping comfortably throughout the night. And so my sleep number setting is thirty. My i Q score last night was in the nineties. Don't miss the best bed for couples is the lowest price of the season coming down and say four hundred to seven hundred dollars on the most popular sleep number mattresses. You'll only find sleep Number at sleep number dot Com and sleep numbers stores nationwide. You call eight hundred next bed or anyone you do, tell them that I sent you. So you're over there. You're on your phone right now. I was taking notes and then I wanted to go check check a text message. But yeah, so okay, I want to talk about texting. I'll talk about the why, and then I want to talk about the coke story. That's the three things I do want to get to in this. So it's the first time that you know, I've spent any time just us together. Yea and a month basically, Well, I mean, yeah, you've come by the house. But yeah, but when I come to the house, yeah, it's just like everybody. I get what you're saying. Just us. Yeah, we haven't spent any time just talking about this. I went to I've been to your house a couple of times, but there's a lot of kids. It's different. Oh yeah, it's different. Yeah, but I love it. I love it. I love like the dizziness. Our house used to be so quiet. It's boring. It used to be quite boring. It used to be normal, and that was my normal. I like my new normal. What was the first thing I was going to ask her about? Why no one before that? Oh? The texting. So I texted you yesterday on a Saturday at like three pm. I gotta response to like nine pm, Like I just sent the text. So is your life much more waye from your phone than it used to be? Yes? Because I may not even have my phone or it's dead because kids YouTube, it's an app, they are on it. It's a it's a treat. But sometimes they take it and the battery runs low and I don't know it, and then it dies and then I don't have a charger, and then we just deal with that when we find a charger. It's one of those things. Not a priority. Crazy, I know, because like I like my phone, but now yeah, now it's just different. Your life changes and you just deal with handing your phone over, especially if it's gonna I'm not saying we use it. We definitely still use it as a treat, but it is crazy how it will change a situation. And we monitor what they're going to be watching. But it's I'm like, yeah, heck, yeah, you can have it for five minutes. But if you have a ten year old and a seven year old and they both want the phone, how do you good about not? The older one normally gets it because she's more responsible and she knows how to look things up and she can control it, and she'll share with him and show him what they're watching. So and they'll each put a little ear button and it's fine. He's he types in things and it's gibberish. She can actually type in what they need to go see. And I trust her and I'm there with them too, but he doesn't need to be in control of the phone. Do they share? Well, they do, but I think that's the product of coming from an orphanage where you're constantly sharing. Nothing's your own. So we're blessed in that department. Although there is some territorial things I'm starting to see happen with like oh that was that's that's mine. They're learning like this is mine, But that's just I think the nature of children. So they're learning this is mine in a much later time because things are actually there's now which they weren't when they were in the orphanage. And I'm sure just as in innate thing, kids are like that. I'm sure at the orphanage is like this is mine, but but Nanny's probably corrected them right away, like, nope, that's not yours. It's everybody's everything, from your underwear to your everything. I think the only thing they had to themselves there was probably like a toothbrush, and they knew it was theirs. Where did they keep the toothbrush in the orphanage? It was just theirs um in a little cubby. I learned that for my because I never saw them brush their teeth, but it would always happen at night, in the dark, when we were already gone, and because you really didn't stay I didn't stay there at night, uh, at the orphanage. So my daughter has told me a lot about what goes on there at night, and how they slept and where they slept. And I always thought she slept in her own bunk bed, which I knew the numbers added up of the girls that were in a room, I'm pretty sure there was enough beds. But because we're dealing with a thing of they've never slept in their own room. Here I am creating this these adorable little rooms. I can't wait for them to come home. To and they come home and they're scared because they've never slept alone in their entire life. So even if you grew up in Haiti and you're in the poverty level and you're not in an orphanage, you're in a very small, tiny house situation where it could be a one room, you know situation. So families all share a room anyway. So even though my daughter has a life from one to five with her mom, they probably all slept in the same room no matter what. Then when she was at the orphanage life, she lived with her mom from one to five years old and then went to the orphanage after age and then came to you now, so she's never slept alone. And so i'm I have a lot of our nights are spent with them, reading, praying, the typical parent type stuff, but trying to just get them to bed and get them comfortable and get them acclimated to you don't have to be scared. You can sleep alone, and we just have to be as patient with that as possible. But that's when we do a lot of talking, and I love it, and she shares a lot with me about what her knights would like, and she actually shared a bunk. They slept face to face with one of her best friends at the orphanage, and I never knew all this time, I never knew they slept in the same because the numbers didn't add up. I thought they did. But so that makes me think, Okay, we got to go revisit the orphanage and maybe throw a few extra bunk beds in there because it's a little twin bed and I know there's room in there for more. So we just got to work that out so each kid can have their own privacy. Did the kids want their own privacy though? That's what I mean. She could have her No, they'd all still be in the same room and in a bunk right next to each other. But I see how she sleeps, and she wants to roll and kick and spread out. And when you're sharing a tiny little bunk bed with someone, they could at least maybe if they want. I want to look in to make it sure we figure out them having their own bed um, and then maybe that could help. But this is a it's a crash orphanage situation. All these kids eventually are going to be going into homes, And also makes me want to think of better ways we can equip children in these types of situations to prepare them for life in other countries where we live differently, And what can we do so that it isn't so terrifying, because eventually all those children are going to go be somewhere else, and maybe there's something we can start doing to make it not such a shock. How have your kids adapted to their own bedrooms? They love their rooms, but it's mainly at night, but it's they don't They're not They don't want to be in there by themselves. The lights go down, they turn the lights off. She will only if I'm in the room, and then I have to either sneak out or I stay the whole time. You just sleep in there with the lights off off, And if I leave the room, all the lights come on, every single one. So if you leave the room, she sleeps the lights on and she feels comfortableep on the lights on. I don't, well, I don't, I haven't. I don't leave. If I have to leave to go do something, she turns on all the lights. I don't leave her. Um, do you sleep with her every night? Right now? We are? Right now? I've got to figure out the best and talk to some people, and I want to do what's best. But right now that's working for us, and she feels again. I think I said this on the show that your podcast listeners might be different, but I want to create the safest environment possible for them, especially because she's ten. Um, and not without giving away too much because also she's ten, Like, she has a story. This is her story. I don't want to put too much of her life out there because she might want to be like, whoa mom, that was my story? Why are you about telling it? But um, she's been through a lot. But they're a lot most motorphans have. He is seven cognitively not quite seven. He's living the good life. He sleeps with a lamp on, but my husband will read two books to him that's the max. And my husband's like peace out and he's like bye, so you tomorrow, and he goes to bed. He goes to sleep. He keeps a lamp on and we have noisemakers in each room because they're not used to things being quiet, so they have sound because it's the orphanage, like nothing's quiet, and he will sleep. Um, we do have issues with him. He's totally this is probably his story too, But it's fine. I mean, parents can relate. He's totally potty trained. But we're having an issue like every night he won't he won't get up because I think he might be too scared. He won't get up to his restroom, like scared because he's in an unfamiliar environment, which is your house. Well yes, and then he's by himself and he doesn't know like if they needed to get up, he could always take a buddy with him because they he shared a room with fifteen other kids, or there was a nanny there, and they could get up and take him to the bathroom. And so for him, he's like, uh, I think he's just like I don't want to get up, so he just goes. So we're like we have like three sets of sheets now on heavy rotation. How about their friends back of the orphanage. Do they miss them? Yeah? They do. They do. They miss Haiti, And I don't blame them. They missed their friends, they missed their life. Like I know, it's so hard. Things I didn't think about. I just was so excited to get them here. I didn't Kara was going to do whatever it took to get them here because I know we're going to offer them a better life, and I know eventually will get there and it will be better. But right now I hurt for them because we've literally ripped them from everything that they know, and it's I'm agrieve that because I know that they are excited. I know that they're confused, sad, they're like all the things. If you could just be all the things, that's them, because there's so many highs and there's so many loves, and then you start to feel selfish, you being me, my husband, because you were trying to do everything you could to rescue them from this horrible situation that is an orphanage. But to them, that's what they know. So we want them to acclimate here, which they will eventually, and then when they grow up and they go back and see the see the difference and be like, wow, okay, this is I have America or wherever a lot of the kids go to, either Canada, France, whatever. In our situation, like I have been given an opportunity and I'm going to be given love, and you know the type of love I never would have gotten at an orphanage, and a type of opportunity and education I would have never gotten. So I have to focus on that, like the future of that, because sometimes when I focus on the now, I know that, gosh, they probably just want to go back, Like I'm thinking it's so great here, But to them, life was great. They don't know any different. They didn't know any different. So the fact that they, you know, have their cute little ug boots like she doesn't care. You know, I didn't have ugs, so I was like thirty five, like your tin, you've got hugs? What about things like you got a membership at the y. Yeah, you're you're all at the wine now. Yeah, we're like family. The why they think that's or they don't know what they think it's cool. They like contraptions and exercise equipment and balls and they see a gym. Well sometimes driving around Haiti they have outdoor gyms sort of like Venice Beach but not they haven't outdoor gyms and Haiti that's what they have. What they Yeah, they have real like nice gyms up in like the wealthier part, but the part of town they grew up in and they never started leaving the worphanisition list that was with us anyways. But you drive around and and yes there's outdoor gyms. I don't know their government decided maybe it would be a good way for patients to go burn OFFFS team. So there's outdoors. They see it. So they've seen that. So we go to the gym. We were trying to explain to them that's what it is, so they get it. But um, they know that we get to work out. And you know what's so amazing the why. I mean, you're paying for membership, so you're paying for this as part of your thing. But they let you drop your kids off for two hours if you need to. We haven't done the full two hours yet, but as long as you're there, you don't even have to be working out. And the woman straight up told me this. She said, look, I'm just going to tell you the truth. If you just need to come here and get some work done, bring your computer, if you just need to like sit on that couch and stare at the wall and talk to no one, drop your kids off, or if you want to go run ten miles, go run to miles. Whatever you need, we're here for you. And you just drop them off and the caregivers have an amazing and then we're in Nashville, So Vanderbilts here and their student volunteers and Vanderbilt when schools in session that come and tutor the kids. Like this is amazing, sign me up. That was when we were getting the tour of like if we should sign up? And I was like, yes, did they like it? Meaning go there? The people that they are watched? Buy are they fun? Is the room? They're fun? They draw, they make pictures, they have a wei, they have ping pong and pool, they have all the things and they then they have the tutor session rooms to which they you know, they need to be learning. And then they're getting to interact with other kids that are in there, which is crucial because when you're immersed with people that are speaking another language, you're forced to do that too. And it's going to help them with their English a lot. How is the English coming with the kids? Good? She good, But it's just gonna take more time. I see that. I just try to again, we try to do day by day. Um, some days we are more progressive than others. But I just know within a year. We met with the Haitian pastor yesterday and he told us that in about a year they're they're not even gonna want to speak Real. All they're going to want to do is speak English really in a year, in a year because they're they're gonna love it, and all their friends are gonna be doing it, and they don't want to be different. And he said, just wait, it'll be fine, it'll work itself out. I mean not that we we don't want them to abandon Creal by any means. But it is hard sometimes when I know she knows what we're saying, and I know she can speak it more with me than she does, but she's holding out just because it's and it's a comfortable thing. It's all about being comfortable. So and do you know what I learned about the Haitian culture, which I've been going to Haiti for five years. I had no idea. So it is a sign of disrespect for children to look at an adult in the eyes when they're talking to them. If an adult is talking to them, children are to look down. And that's something that happened at first, and you thought, you're they I've even done it in Haiti. I've corrected them in Haiti, but nobody, all my Haitian friends and all the people's and all the things i've I've never been told this, but the Haitian pastor yesterday told us that because he was speaking to her and she was speaking down and it wasn't phazing him. He was like, no problem. And then she started fidgeting with something because I was like, pay attention, look up, he's speaking to you. And then he pulled me in my husband aside. He said, I need to share with you something about Haitian culture that I don't know that you're aware of. But in our culture, it is a sign of disrespect to look up when an adult is talking. So now that they're here in America and it's a sign of disrespect to do that, and Americans are telling them look up when someone speaking. He said, you watch them transition from looking down to suddenly fidgeting because they don't know what's right and what's wrong. Am I supposed to look down? Am I supposed to look up? So maybe if I play with this while they talk to me, I won't be doing something wrong. I'll be that's the middle for them, the middle for them. And I've totally noticed that happening, and even when we're doing disciplinary things. Before I had this wonderful meeting with this very knowledgeable pastor. During disciplinary moments, I'm why I am talking to you? Why are you not looking at me? And now I know they were straight up respecting me, and let's see, I was just confusing them. But they'll eventually, he said, with that too, they'll learn and then they'll start showing respect and look you at looking you in the eye, and they'll get the difference and they'll stop figeting. But I thought that was cool. I was like, Okay, learning as we go. I'll talking about life luck for one second. And so what you don't want to do is hop on an internet that isn't secure. Your husband talked about this even to me. Yeah, he's really really more so than I thought because I'm kind of into it, but he's really into it. He bought me for Christmas um a VP A server. Yeah. It's like it's like you're at your house in Japan. Yeah, one or four people have experienced identity theft, and if you're only monitoring your credit, you can still have your identity stolen. Thieves can sell your information and get a payday loane your name or it's more than just your credit, but it still watches your credit too. But that's why I have life Flock. I've had it for years. LifeLock get texts a wide range of identity threats. If you have a problem, a US based restoration specialists will work with your fix it. No one can prevent all identity theft or monitor all transactions all the time, but life flock is Therefore you joined now and get ten percent off with the promo code bones. Type in bones to life flock dot com and use the promo code bones. So there's that. Do you have You had time to miss work at all? None? You know what's going on. I haven't even listened. That's a lie because I listened the day. I listened the day first day I came on. So I've done like a couple of phone calls. The very first one. I felt really nervous when I was talking to you, and I didn't know how it came across. So I finally got to go back the next day and listen to that podcast and end up listening to more. So I know a little bit of what's going on, but that's it. So that's the only listening I've done. And I did notice when I was on air with you, I said like a million times, so I'm working on that. I don't know if you have noticed, well you've said it a lot today because I'm turning it out of my vocabulary. So I noticed when other people say it. I've been so intentional. Even with I was slower with my speaking because I was trying to avoiding, like okay, okay, I'll see if I can go the rest of the podcast to do no. I mean no, no, it's any It's hard to cut completely, but it is annoying when you told me it's an issue, and I fixed it for a few years and now it's back. And then when I heard myself on the phone with you, I was like, that's bad. So I need to stop using it period. So I'm going to do that, I think. Just to be forthcoming about conversations Amy and I've had about the show, was when you said, hey, we all knew, well, first of all, years ago, you were leaving the show when you got the kids because they were gonna be much much younger. It was pregnant if I was doing whatever Mom tought priority because they were gonna be in school and they needed me, and it was known by me you were gone and I always thought, when Amy gets her kids, she's leaving the show. Not in any bad way, but it just was part of the circle and the cycle of the show. As they got older, you said, hey, I'm I'm not leaving the show. This is probably two years ago, said I'm not leaving the show. They're old enough now they would come and they'll go to school. And then this is a job where luckily I could do that go to school and it doesn't really can still pick them up from school every day. It's amazing, right, And in the past month or saving on into your house, I was like, hey, you just do you whatever, whatever it is. It's a little bit more demanding that I thought. I kind of thought, Oh, but again, because the night times are so hard for us and we wake up so early, it's like, how much of this schedule, like when do you? And so what some people might realize about our show as we do prep during other times during the day. It's not we just show up and start talking. I mean, nothing's planned out necessarily, but but there is prep that we do. And I'm thinking, when in the world would I do the prep? Maybe I go to the y, you take them and do yeah, yeah, yeah, drop them off. I'd do my prep and then somehow I get sleep and then wake up and come in. I don't know, and then we leave at such a weird hour if my husband's traveling. But we've were trying to figure it out, like what will that look like and what's gonna take priority? And right now I just right now, I just don't know. And that's what I even say on the air because I want to be honest the listeners, like, we this is what I think will happen. And January seven, right now at PM is the time. From our conversations. I think you'll come back, but that you'll leave again. That's been my my solid bet. You'll come back. You don't want to leave us hanging. This is your second family. I think you'll come back because I thought for a while you wouldn't come back. And I said that to you. I said, hey, if you don't want to come back, I get it. Yeah, I said that to you in your house. I know, I know multiple times, because I think you were just either. I mean, you said a lot of different things, but that one you said, I think you just and I appreciate that you want to make sure that I know that you're you get it. You're not any good to me unless you can be you don't know. Yeah, right now, this is the first time we've ever worked sort of, yeah, worked since I am a mom. Am I had the same You're actually not what You're still awesome, but no, no, no no, just your perspective is a little different. No, you've grown a lot in three weeks, which is crazy. I don't know about mature. Yes, very you're a very stable, genius, Yes, younger, all those. But I said that to you because I kind of expected you to not come back. So if I do come back, when am I leaving again? And where am I going? No, No, I think this is where I would put the order you. I think you'll come back. I do think you'll come back. I gave it a one up five shot that you would never come back. It's probably a little higher than that in my mind, because you had already decided you were not coming back, and you decided to come back all that. I said, you're not coming back one h five. I think you'll come back. But I think that you'll come and realize, you know, these kids are really important to me. What you feel that now? And I don't feel like I'm doing my job as well as I should be, and that you'll say I need I'll give you six months, three months like that. That's my prediction on what you're gonna do, and that's what I've even told other people. But that's it. That that's what I feel will happen because you don't want to know. I don't, and I don't. I don't like if someone else has to pick up my slack and oh, it's been what do you gone? Amy? The show sucks? First of all, I'm sure it doesn't. No, No, we come back from break. I've already been. What are you trying to hear me? Okay, I've already been. Um, I came in. I wasn't sleeping right, I'm getting off this anxiety medicine. It's making my brain go crazy. And then I come in. I don't have the main person I talked with, and so Eddie's not a real co host, Lunchbox is not a real conversational cohde. I don't have anybody to talk with, people to talk to occasionally. But it's weird for me because I've been in this with you for twelve years and all of a sudden. I'm having to lean on people where their strength isn't what I'm asking them to do, and they have other things are supposed to be doing, and so all those things combined, it was a really rotten few shows. I said it on the air. The shows aren't good. I apologize. So I've been I've been using no, don't listen. I've been using Morgan number two a little bit, Hillary the phone screen a little bit. They're both fine, but they're so green because they don't know how to handle me. That's the one thing you do know, that's how to handle me. Yeah, I don't know how I figured that out, but after ten years or so, you just figure it out when you're around crazy. This is for both of us. When you're on crazy long enough, you learn how to use that crazy in a positive way. I use you're crazy, you use mine. But that being said, I don't know what I'm gonna do when you decide to leave. Okay, well I don't know what I'm doing, so don't but I'm telling me what's in my head. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't even know if I want to do mornings anymore. When you're gone, yeah, you're just gonna do something else. Maybe, well, you do have other things coming up. Absolutely I could see that, right, And I don't know what I want to do. If you leave, it's going to make me reconsider what I'm doing. And I don't think it puts all the power at the pressure then no pressure at all, because eventually I can't do mornings anyway. I'm just not gonna be able to do them. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna have a family one day, hopefully in the next twenty years, six whatever whatever one day. And so I don't want to wake up at dree in the morning. Yeah, me neither. Let's figure that out. Well. The story I wanted to talk about the coke story real quick, was that am I wonder to Amy's house and she was saying, yeah, we went to because some food. I think it was at a burger place, and the waitress came over almost like would you like coke sprite? Uh, orange crush, and You're like no, no, no, no, no no. She was so sweet and we were going to drink water. And if they don't know that the restaurant has other options, then we don't have to bring that up. But I just had never it's something as a mom. Now that I'm a mom, I noticed things differently. If a waitress had our server had come over and said that to us, and we didn't have kids with us, I would a lot. Okay, yeah, I'm just gonna water because I can make my own healthy choices for myself. Well, you give a seven ten year old options like that? They went, you know, the orange crash and the coke and the apple juice, all of them, and you know all of them. So it just I was like, oh my gosh. I wanted to look arou and be like, you would get a much bigger tip for me if you would just not give any of those options. Did you come over and be like, are you all ready to order? What would you like not get? Just come over and immediately tell them all these amazing sugary concoctions that you can whip up for them. Did you understand my logic though? When I said hey, I think she was actually going above and beyond it, because most of the time with kids you have, they know the environment they're in and they know what's offered at that environment. Most kids don't come from another country and all of a sudden there in a burger spot where they have all these sodas. And if kids are in that environment, they know what's there, and so most kids want the sugary stuff and are allowed the sugary stuff. So if she comes in and bonds with the kids immediately she's doing her ab. I get it, like, yes, I got what you were saying. And I still get just from me waiting tables, because I went right to the kids. Somehow I still got my kids to drink water. I convince them we just have water here. She does not know what she's talking about, the funding water. But you can have an avocado. Avocados hunt yes, the waiters. I asked her, I said, do you have avocado? She said yeah. I said, we'll take a home one please. And it's like a place where you don't like get a whole avocado. Ever, I said, listen, trust me, I need a whole avocado. You've got it up between them, they'll be fine. And they were all happy campers after that. They just scoop the avocado and et it m at the house. I just cut it right open down the middle and they get a spoon and they eat it right out, and it's amazing. All right, so we're nearing the end of this. Give me the thing that you've loved the most. Oh, the time my son tried to poop in a urnal. Oh he didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know. You ever seen it? Just drunk? But yes, go ahead, never seen. So he's been to like our home doesn't have a unal, and he's been to public restrooms before, but mostly with me, I would say. And even if he goes to my husband, it's a men's women's like situation where they they're just a toilet, not a jurnal. And my husband took him in and there was a funeral and he was fascinated by it and he could not wait to pep in it. So and my husband really tries to take him because my husband doesn't trust me. He thinks when I take our sons into the women's But you know how, I've been guilty of getting the toilet paper to teach him how to dab, because it doesn't get clean, it doesn't get dry. I don't know why. Yeah, I don't know why men were not taught to dab as boys. But my husband thinks that is crazy town. And you shake or do whatever you do. Men do not dab, so he barely. If Stevenson our son, we'll find the same names. If he has to go to the bathroom, he'll say bathroom and I'll be like, I'll take you. And my husband's like, I got this because he did not want me dabbing. So he takes semi sees the urinal. My husband's like, yeah, my moment has arrived with my son. I'm going to teach him how to use the urinal. So he like does his thing. They don't dab, they shake whenever. My husband's like, high five depths, let's go wash our hands. And then my husband's like, toilet which twilight example, my husband's like, and I'm just letting you know. That's okay. Yeah, So for example, what was I saying. I can't even say. I just wanted to point at it. And I'm not gonna do it all the time, just the one time. I just want to let you know because I don't notice that sometimes probably killed a good story though. So my husband said, let's go wash our hands, and my son said toilette, which that is his I have to go in Haitian and Haiti when you have to go number two, you say toilet so He's like twilet toilette and my husband's thinking, oh man, okay, So he just drops his pants, it turns around on the urinal and sits down. I mean, why wouldn't he why? So, yeah, we learned the gay gotta teach them the difference between a urinal and a toilet. And then we had to take the n of the doctor and they had to pean a cup. Son got it down. Y'all are actually lucky in that department. Pean a cup? You thought it was amazing. It was like a game. How much of this is going to get in the clup? Like a fun game. My daughter's like sitting on the toilet's she's looking at me like I'm crazy. You want me to pee in the cup? And she's looking at me. The logical thing would be for her to pee in the toilet and me take the cup and scoop her pe out of the water. She kept trying to tell me that's what we have to do, and I'm like, no, no, no, you have to pe in the cup. It can't be mixed in with any other things. So I look away to do something with my son, and I turned back around and she's not peeing on the toilet. She is, she put the cup on the ground, she squatted over it, and she's being the crowd, which actually makes more sense. However, then Pete was like everywhere. The doctor was like knocking on the door. Are y'all okay, I'm like gonna be out. Do you have any um mysol right then, which the doctor doesn't know, probably doesn't listen to the podcast. So we're fine. But I didn't have time to redo this whole p in the cup thing. So I'm washing my son's hands and I look over and my daughter is playing that game of switch back and forth between their cups. Yes, the doctor got the people, both of them mixed together, but they don't know it. Who doesn't know it, nobody knows it. No, but they need to know what are you doing? It's fine, it's fine. I mean, I'm confessing right now, but it was one of those moments where I did not Maybe next time we go back, I'll be like, you should probably have them. They're both going to have everything. You're not gonna know which one has anything. They don't have anything wrong with them. It's fine. They already had the medical exams to for them to enter the US so I don't think we're dealing with anything that's wrong. We just needed this, these tests to be done so they could go to school. And you don't know how taxing it was to get the p in the cups. So when I looked over and saw that she was playing that game where you like it didn't matter, I just said, you know what, Mom's gonna take those and I put them in a little you know they used to put in the window shelf, and they got their names, and I shut the door and I was like, we're gonna act like this never happened. Carry on, and we went out. We were at the doctor for over two hours. Body I did not have time for that. So I know, I know, I know, I'm a world ferret. I know it's so bad. Now that I'm saying this is the first time I said it out loud. Now that I'm saying it out loud, I feel, I mean, I feel, given that exact scenario, probably would have done the same thing again, and so many other people would have. And if they're saying they wouldn't, then they probably would. They're gonna lie about it, but um, you know, we have to go. We had to get six shots each that that day and we have to go back and get like six more. I just said, like, how would they how do they take the shots? They called pickies. They saw the needles and they've had shots in Haiti, and they said no, picky, no Picky, no piky, no Picky, no picky, Picky no no picky. They did not want the pickies. And then I don't know about I'm sure the nurses here or the needles or whatever the situation is. It's more gentle and better because once they got it, they were fine. They're just their legs. They got them in both of their legs and they're really sore and tender and everything. Like if I go pick them up or something, it's just like oh oh and I forget. So they're fine. They did great, But that was just that was a day of the day. I don't want to do that again. I was like, that's you have to do that stuff to your kids. Go to school and you see all these kids in school, it means there's all these responsible parents like made that happen. So like props because it's a lot to get your kids in schoo It was a lot and two kids. Yeah, oh do I get why some parents don't forget it. We'll figure it out later. It's a lot, yeah, and if they're working parents, like right now, this is me saying to you and our bosses and our company, thank you. I was thinking if I had this going on and a legit full time job and still trying to make appointments. I feel like I know some of those people, and you see in movies the people that have that struggle and finding that balance. And man, I do not take this time off for granted one bit. So thank you. And I probably need to go call the doctor innocentence. I don't want to go too far into this because I'm run out of time. What what's the biggest challenge for you you mm hmm. Trying to understand They're trying to understand, trying to understand what they're processing and what they're going through. I'm not going to, but I try, and that's hard. So um, that's trying to and and be aware like constantly. Sometimes I have to try to understand and then make sure I'm aware of that and I may need to backstep. I may be going in one direction that's not right and I have to recognize that it's wrong and not be prideful or be anything and just start over. And that's okay, way more than one sentence. Something's never changed. Why what you did you even say? No, one sentence, I didn't hear that. Can say that one sentence you did? And then you kept going, Yeah you did say that. One sentence you said, trying to understand, try, and you took a beat. I thought, wow, she's really changed, and the waterfall came out. I agree it was better told as you elaborated and added to it collaboration word sure, yeah, yeah, you elaborate on something. You continue going on, are trying in the lunchbox and now just saying words and hoping they didn't matter. No, it felt right, but I knew, I you know, you're you've now written like two books. So by the way, I emailed you, and did you do you read your email? Which email? Did you whatever you need? Just no? I emailed you. I need you to be a part of this book, and so I emailed you what I need from you? Okay, So happy to do It's like a lot of time, Just happy to do it. Can we knock it out here while I'm here right now? Okay? Having Yeah, the first time you've actually talked about a lot of that. Yeah, good times. I mean I've heard it pretty much all except the pooping in the in the Yarnal story, which is pretty fantastic. Yeah, that's that. That was not good. What's your how do you? What do you think about me when you hear that? I think she's a bad mom. No, I think what you're experiencing is what a lot of parents experience, and that's something that our show hasn't been able to take and put out there. That's very relatable, and I think it's gonna add a ton to the show if I come back. No, you'll come back. Oh yeah, but then I'm gonna leave. I think you'll come back. No, no, no, no, no, not for five months. I think you'll come back. And after a few months ago, I just can't do this with the same ability. So I'm gonna let you know within a few months, I'm out for good. Out for good. That's what I think is gonna happen. I don't know, I'm crazy. I gotta listen to the show, though, We're gonna see what's happening here and making a lot of money though it is you're trying to like, no, no no, I just saying I don't want to go. I just want you to think about that. You're making a lot of money. We started. Someone tweeted, oh, for sure, it's fine. Amy came over and took less money because she was doing sales at a granite shop. So when I say that, you haven't understand the time. We were so young and it was happening. I thought it was still amazing. I remember telling my dad my first contractor and he looked at me. He's like, it's great, honey, and he patted me on the back. It was nothing, but I mean, I thought it was amazing, but it really was like nothing. Ye, so, but we'd get we break the twenties. Stop, should it have been clearly? I got, Oh, I don't know. I wasn't making much more than that. I was making fifty five at the time, and I was spending all that in the indication probably what I thought you made, and I probably was well make so, which is good. But I was taking half of it, putting it back into the building. This show. No no no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Okay. Well, it's good to see you, good to talk to you. Right, I miss you. I mean I see you, I talked to you whatever, but this is different. We have a different um. This is our other part of our relationship. Well, okay, we'll leave it at there. Rewarding no on the air, and he said, you know, I tell you I thought all the charities of rewarding. That's nothing compared to me. I was like, man made me feel terrible. Okay, Uh, there we go. Okay, bye, that's it for us. We'll see you next time. Episode what nineties six? Wow, I was my first time on this podcast. I was episode ten eighties. Six episodes later, you made it again. All right, we're out.