A Tale Of Two Santas (Tales Of Futurama Patreon Exclusive)

<v Speaker 1>Four Finger discount.
<v Speaker 2>Ede, Hey, everybody, welcome to four Finger Discount. I am Dan. Oh, well,
<v Speaker 2>I guess it's fourth Finger discount. It isn't it Isn't
<v Speaker 2>you see this week? You're not gonna be getting a
<v Speaker 2>normal episode of four Finger Discount. No, you're gonna be
<v Speaker 2>getting what was once a Patreon exclusive review of a
<v Speaker 2>Tale of Two Santas from our Patreon exclusive Tales of
<v Speaker 2>Futurama podcasts. Yes, if you're a fan of Futurama, you're
<v Speaker 2>gonna love our podcast Tales of Futurama, which is available
<v Speaker 2>for just five dollars. Five dollars gets you access to
<v Speaker 2>every episode of this podcast, Tels of Futurama, which is
<v Speaker 2>available on our Patreon. You also get access to exclusive
<v Speaker 2>episodes of Talking Scien Fels.
<v Speaker 3>Speaking of the Hill Bob's Pods.
<v Speaker 2>You get exclusive episodes of Fourthing a discount that are
<v Speaker 2>unavailable anywhere else, and again early in ad free access
<v Speaker 2>to all the other shows you know for figure discount,
<v Speaker 2>Gone in a South Park, one of our friends, you
<v Speaker 2>name it. There's over one hundred hours of exclusive content
<v Speaker 2>of Apple on our Patreon. So if you want to
<v Speaker 2>support your pals, Guy and Danda, you can do so
<v Speaker 2>by supporting us on our Patreon. So we figured since
<v Speaker 2>it's technically still the holiday season and the Dando household,
<v Speaker 2>and I say that because we haven't taken down the
<v Speaker 2>Christmas tree yet, all the decorations and Nicholas family have
<v Speaker 2>come all the way over from the UK, so we
<v Speaker 2>wanted to just take a break, as Ross and Roche
<v Speaker 2>would say on Friends, and just enjoy the moment. So
<v Speaker 2>no recording episodes over the last couple of weeks, but
<v Speaker 2>we're throwing at this one here. It's a holiday themed
<v Speaker 2>episode of Futurama. As I said, it's a tale of
<v Speaker 2>two Sanders. So I hope you guys enjoy that. And
<v Speaker 2>next week, speaking of Futurama, to quote Professor, I've got some.
<v Speaker 3>Good news everyone.
<v Speaker 2>We next week have a very exclusive interview with the One,
<v Speaker 2>the Only Billy West. Yes, Billy West is coming on
<v Speaker 2>the show to sit down and chat about not only Futurama,
<v Speaker 2>but just where he is at life. At the moment,
<v Speaker 2>he's childhood and man, there are some stories there to
<v Speaker 2>hear and you can absolutely love ourt with Billy West.
<v Speaker 2>That's going to be released next week's look at for
<v Speaker 2>that in your feeds, but it is also available right
<v Speaker 2>now on our Patreon, So if you want to be
<v Speaker 2>a supporter of the show, you can support us on Patreon.
<v Speaker 2>Get access to that interview right now in your ears
<v Speaker 2>if you cannot wait that week. But again, thank you
<v Speaker 2>so much for all of your support over not only
<v Speaker 2>the last twelve months, but also the last ten years.
<v Speaker 2>We would not be here without you, guys, and we
<v Speaker 2>look forward to an even bigger twenty twenty six. We
<v Speaker 2>have got some big names in the Simpsons World line
<v Speaker 2>up as guests in the coming weeks. I cannot wait
<v Speaker 2>for you guys to hear those interviews. They are fantastic.
<v Speaker 2>But until you guys hear those, it's time to sit
<v Speaker 2>back now and enjoy our review of a Tale of
<v Speaker 2>Two Sanders from our Tales of Future on a podcast. Enjoy,
<v Speaker 2>and we'll see you all next week with Billy West.
<v Speaker 4>Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony? Yes,
<v Speaker 4>you give me a dollar and some candy, and yet
<v Speaker 4>you haven't said what I told you to say? How
<v Speaker 4>can any of us trust you?
<v Speaker 3>Quit bandering the Wittners Badger, where.
<v Speaker 5>Whereas I have a ham dinner with mayonnaise waiting for
<v Speaker 5>me at my merchion.
<v Speaker 3>I find the defendant.
<v Speaker 5>Guilty, Santa Claus, I hereby sentence you to be executed
<v Speaker 5>at sundown.
<v Speaker 6>Good news everyone, I'm back baby.
<v Speaker 2>Welcome to this very fested episode of Tales of Future.
<v Speaker 2>I'm hey you going patrons. This week, we're here to
<v Speaker 2>review the lost episode. As some people call it, it
<v Speaker 2>is a tale of two Santas.
<v Speaker 3>I am Dano and I am Guy. Yes, fresh from
<v Speaker 3>searching around the Disney Plus app to find where this
<v Speaker 3>episode was actually located. We've been doing episodes from season three,
<v Speaker 3>but I had to jump ahead of a little way
<v Speaker 3>and go into season four to find this one. Well
<v Speaker 3>it's not just me, Daniel as well, but yes, this
<v Speaker 3>one was episode two of season four. Because I know
<v Speaker 3>we're going about things the proper way, as opposed to Fox,
<v Speaker 3>who just threw shit together willing Nelly.
<v Speaker 2>We're doing the production order as opposed to the airing order.
<v Speaker 3>That makes sense.
<v Speaker 2>So I was like I Wikipedia, I'm like, hang on Wikipedia.
<v Speaker 2>This ad in December two thousand and one. The next
<v Speaker 2>episode added in March two thousand and one, So what's
<v Speaker 2>going on here? Of course, as we said on our
<v Speaker 2>recent going down the South Part Podcast that they thought
<v Speaker 2>there was too much craziness going on in here, with
<v Speaker 2>all the swearing and the executions and the kids getting
<v Speaker 2>beaten up by Santa Clause. They went not going, sure,
<v Speaker 2>this is good for the seven pm time slot, so
<v Speaker 2>they put it on the shelf for an entire year
<v Speaker 2>and it aired during season four. I am not gonna lie.
<v Speaker 2>I can almost agree that this was pretty hectic for
<v Speaker 2>a Christmas episode.
<v Speaker 3>It was almost a degree where I was kind of like,
<v Speaker 3>I'm not sure how I feel about this. Yeah, it
<v Speaker 3>was also like a treost of horror story almost Yeah, yeah,
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I'm not gonna lie. It's one of my
<v Speaker 3>favorite episodes for what reasons. It just felt a little
<v Speaker 3>mean spirit and I guess that Mate was maybe the
<v Speaker 3>point of this. But at the same time, I don't know,
<v Speaker 3>we didn't get the wholesome ending.
<v Speaker 2>Every story episode has to have a happy ending, but
<v Speaker 2>when it's a show of Futurami, you kind of and
<v Speaker 2>the episode's been so so like dark up to this point.
<v Speaker 2>Usually they're good at sort of turning it around and
<v Speaker 2>giving you a bit of a wholesome ending, and they
<v Speaker 2>tried to do with the whole it's bringing people together,
<v Speaker 2>like bringing them together through fear.
<v Speaker 3>Bring them together, yes, as they hold each other in
<v Speaker 3>sort of like yeah terror, And I don't know, I just.
<v Speaker 2>Kids don't want that because I get that this is
<v Speaker 2>a show marketed not just for kids but for like nerds.
<v Speaker 3>But like it's a kid show, it's a cartoon essentially. Yes, yeah,
<v Speaker 3>just a lot of it just didn't really sort of
<v Speaker 3>land for me. I mean and as we as we've
<v Speaker 3>often said, you know, you really need to stick to
<v Speaker 3>landing in this episode, as he said, tried to give
<v Speaker 3>a sense of togetherness and all that kind of stuff,
<v Speaker 3>but it did in a dark kind of fashion but
<v Speaker 3>through and I was like, I don't know, none of
<v Speaker 3>these jokes really feel like.
<v Speaker 2>It's not a happy ending. No, no, but the world's
<v Speaker 2>in peril. They're living in fear. Now, that's what's brought together. Ben,
<v Speaker 2>it gets kicked out of the sleigh. Yeah, it's sort
<v Speaker 2>of unhappy all the way through, even like the Little
<v Speaker 2>Neptunians slash Alms.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they sort of brought about global warming. Yeah, yeah,
<v Speaker 3>pretty dark.
<v Speaker 2>I agree that it's not worthy of seven and it
<v Speaker 2>need to go and add a nine thirty when it
<v Speaker 2>when it finally aired.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I don't mind a dark Christmas story and
<v Speaker 3>anti Christmas story. I'm a big fan of bad Sandra
<v Speaker 3>and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, something about
<v Speaker 3>this just didn't really work for me.
<v Speaker 2>I know it's cliche to have a Christmas episode ending
<v Speaker 2>with a bit of a sappy ending, but I think
<v Speaker 2>it has to.
<v Speaker 3>It's the time of year that justifies it. Some time
<v Speaker 3>you can get away, you can buy into it. Yeah
<v Speaker 3>with yeah really sort of labeling on the treacle. Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>I know that.
<v Speaker 2>But from the other point of view, it's like, is
<v Speaker 2>good to have an episode that's not necessarily for kids that, like,
<v Speaker 2>when you're a bit older you can appreciate. But know,
<v Speaker 2>maybe when I'm watching Christmas wines, even when I'm an adult,
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I want sappiness.
<v Speaker 3>Yes, yeah, I think that's the case. Yeah. I mean
<v Speaker 3>I didn't necessarily walk into this going, oh, I'm gonna
<v Speaker 3>feel all comfort and joy it by the end of this.
<v Speaker 3>But I just came away feeling I'm sort of unamused,
<v Speaker 3>and I'm not sad, but more like dissatisfied.
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was a unique way of telling the
<v Speaker 2>usual someone taking over for Santa's story where this time
<v Speaker 2>nobody wants him to come, but even still like no
<v Speaker 2>one's happy, Yeah, everyone's scared. It was almost like you
<v Speaker 2>know the first one when it was like the robot Santa,
<v Speaker 2>they somehow made it funny that he was evil, but
<v Speaker 2>this time he and almost like treated as if this
<v Speaker 2>is what it would really be.
<v Speaker 3>Like if we had an evil robot. Yeah, if everyone
<v Speaker 3>was on the naughty list and everyone just sort of
<v Speaker 3>copped flack. Yeah, it's like, you know, it's like the Purge,
<v Speaker 3>but with Santa.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's it's John Goodman could not return for this one, unfortunately.
<v Speaker 3>I did. I was to say, I was looking through
<v Speaker 3>the end credits going Jan Goodman.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, Dan castleing matter either for the robot Sandit,
<v Speaker 2>which was a funny gig.
<v Speaker 3>I like that one, true, but nothing says Christmas like
<v Speaker 3>a special appearance by Coolio.
<v Speaker 2>That's right, by said of us, I met Robot Devil.
<v Speaker 2>By the way, Coolio's coins a bot was hilarious.
<v Speaker 3>Oh god, there was a done when Coolier was just
<v Speaker 3>sort of popping up in all manner of thing. It
<v Speaker 3>was the nanny, was he yeah, as Coolio?
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, no, no, he was a cousin. He was
<v Speaker 2>a cousin and he's like a real dork and a nerd,
<v Speaker 2>and then he started a rap career and he took
<v Speaker 2>all the ship off and he just looked.
<v Speaker 3>Like Coolier because yeah, I don't think Coolio all do
<v Speaker 3>you respect? And also rest in peace. Coolio had the
<v Speaker 3>greatest range.
<v Speaker 2>He said he had the one song at the scene
<v Speaker 2>that's it.
<v Speaker 3>Like, here's some stuff, manual gags as Bara, It's like
<v Speaker 3>you just go as wal through the bad. Steve's like,
<v Speaker 3>that's my som bitch. I was like, we'll do the rest.
<v Speaker 3>You can take a break. Collier. Oh god, I watched
<v Speaker 3>this dreadful movie not long ago, and I'm a fisicionado
<v Speaker 3>of terrible, terrible Bee movies, and this was like just
<v Speaker 3>absolute shit called Dracula three thousand. Okay, I'm clearly shot
<v Speaker 3>in some abandoned factory. Um, it's Coolio in it, and
<v Speaker 3>Coolio is in it. But the plot is essentially it's
<v Speaker 3>like Alien except the thing that they find is Dracula.
<v Speaker 2>Dracula three thousand okay, So what's the what's the premise
<v Speaker 2>that they're meant to be in a factory?
<v Speaker 3>I think the factory is meant to be like an
<v Speaker 3>abandoned spaceship or something. It's got fucking what's his name,
<v Speaker 3>It's got Juliy Rico, And yeah, it's got it's got
<v Speaker 3>a very good beat. I didn't know what to do.
<v Speaker 3>He tried to kill him. All was he was he Dracula. No,
<v Speaker 3>it had a really wimpy dracon. But it's got uh
<v Speaker 3>Johnny Rico. It's got Erica alineac from Baywatching and popping
<v Speaker 3>out of the birthday cake and under siege Tiny Lister
<v Speaker 3>you remember from Friday and various movies and Coolio.
<v Speaker 2>But he was in was it? He was in Batman.
<v Speaker 4>He was.
<v Speaker 3>Give it to me?
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, scare motherfucker. Oh god, it's like play explain, give
<v Speaker 2>what to you? Also no longer with tiny lista. Yeah
<v Speaker 2>it was Tommy by the way.
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, but he also went by time.
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, saying Tony sorry.
<v Speaker 3>Tommy brackets tiny not brackets inverted comments. Get it because
<v Speaker 3>he's not, because he's not. He's a big gap anyway.
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, Dracula three thousand. I was like, oh, mate.
<v Speaker 2>Where did you find this online? Okay, so you bought it?
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, oh god, it's very five to five when Amazon. Yeah,
<v Speaker 2>fucking idiots to two point one out of ten on
<v Speaker 2>IMDb and fifteen percent and Rotten Tomatoes.
<v Speaker 3>It smoked a bit of a jazzigrette and thought this
<v Speaker 3>will be fun little late hours.
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, this is so did you watch this
<v Speaker 2>this morning?
<v Speaker 3>Oh no, no, no, just a while ago, a while ago,
<v Speaker 3>and I was like, even the stone is not helping.
<v Speaker 3>It's just this is bad.
<v Speaker 2>I'm just looking at the trailer here on mute and
<v Speaker 2>it's yeah, especial effects look horrendous.
<v Speaker 3>It's very it's very unknown part of space was I
<v Speaker 3>really liked the idea of it, though, Like, we brought
<v Speaker 3>this single, but it's a vampire and you know you've
<v Speaker 3>got the egg. Someone who's saying, well, you know there
<v Speaker 3>are documented vampires throughout history, Yeah, what can we do
<v Speaker 3>to stop it? Well, if we find a sun, maybe
<v Speaker 3>we can you know, expose to the ultra violet light
<v Speaker 3>and then'll kill it. So you know, they've got to
<v Speaker 3>avoid this vampire while they're piloting their starship to the
<v Speaker 3>nearest sun. Okay, I thought that was not a bad idea.
<v Speaker 3>It was a bad idea. It was a bad idea,
<v Speaker 3>except they had interdrectly two thirds is it a bad
<v Speaker 3>idea or is it as bad an execution? It was
<v Speaker 3>bad in execution if you were doing that's right, if
<v Speaker 3>I was making Dragula two thousand, So any of the
<v Speaker 3>patrons one who were getting in touch and you know bankroll.
<v Speaker 2>I feel like in the next season of Future Ama
<v Speaker 2>they could do a parody of this and make it funny.
<v Speaker 3>They probably have, well they probably will. Yeah, it but.
<v Speaker 2>Coolier, cooliar the cool one coanza. But also wouldn't be
<v Speaker 2>a Christmas episode without a song sing along?
<v Speaker 3>That's true, not a bad song.
<v Speaker 2>Even the song ends with Bender being horrible to the Alives.
<v Speaker 3>Everyone's horrible everything. Yeah, it's just a mean spirited kind
<v Speaker 3>of It's a Scrooge slash Grinch kind of episode.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, who wrote this one? Let's have a look hang on.
<v Speaker 2>Bill Odenkirk was one who wrote it and directed by
<v Speaker 2>Ron Hugart.
<v Speaker 3>The brother of Bob.
<v Speaker 2>Yes, Easter eggs. Remember Easter eggs? Oh yeah, they were
<v Speaker 2>fun when you accidentally found one. Oh yeah, so guess
<v Speaker 2>what this Easter egg is? East Eggs usually like something
<v Speaker 2>small whatever, right, Yeah, you'll be navigating your way around
<v Speaker 2>the disc menu push up by accident. Yeah, it's very
<v Speaker 2>much like, you know, what do they call it?
<v Speaker 3>An oh? Like on playstaging, it's the cheek you've got
<v Speaker 3>to go left, left, right, up, one down to Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>that was like it with with DVDs and Blu rays.
<v Speaker 2>What's the best issue that you can remember that you
<v Speaker 2>didn't know was going to be that? And it completely
<v Speaker 2>caught you off and you're like, this is the greatest.
<v Speaker 3>There was a great Aussie sketch comedy show, The Late
<v Speaker 3>Show from the early nineties, of course. Yeah. Uh and
<v Speaker 3>one of their members of the djuration, Tony Martin real nerd. Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>Tony Martin especially was like a complete film and TV nerd.
<v Speaker 3>And when yeah, that's what I meant. And when it's
<v Speaker 3>when it came time for them to put out the
<v Speaker 3>episode their complete series on DVD, he just took the
<v Speaker 3>reins and he said, we're gonna have Easter eggs all
<v Speaker 3>up in this bitch, And yeah, you go through there
<v Speaker 3>were like six on every menu. Yeah. I forgot exactly
<v Speaker 3>which which ones they were, but I mean it was
<v Speaker 3>a real scavenge arnt. It was a fantastic eastery hunt
<v Speaker 3>doing it. So I think Lord of the Rings had
<v Speaker 3>a bunch of them as well. Certainly Edgar Wright's movies
<v Speaker 3>as well. I think have a few Easter egg on
<v Speaker 3>various things.
<v Speaker 2>There's ten years from now physical media won't exist anymore.
<v Speaker 2>Let's be honest. It won't exist, no, unless unless you
<v Speaker 2>come to my house. But the easter egg here. If
<v Speaker 2>you highlight and click on the picture on the play
<v Speaker 2>episode screen, the outline will be red and white. When
<v Speaker 2>you do so, you will get the audio of the
<v Speaker 2>table read of the episode. Oh my gosh, I fucking cool?
<v Speaker 3>Is that that is Nate? Oh's my favorite robot?
<v Speaker 5>It's me, no one else look.
<v Speaker 3>In this mirror, favoite. Most you never said, mister Davis,
<v Speaker 3>What did you enjoy the most? I like the little
<v Speaker 3>Neptune and what they call just Neptunian Neptunians. Yeah, yeah,
<v Speaker 3>sort of. You're willing to debase themselves they were. I'll
<v Speaker 3>let you bunch me for a buck. Oh you hit me?
<v Speaker 2>Hear me your dollar? I love though, more was when
<v Speaker 2>Santa got frozen in the ice. Wy just come down?
<v Speaker 3>This kicked them in the head. And what else? I
<v Speaker 3>liked it when Bender came down that chimney, he broke up.
<v Speaker 3>How do I get through here? Maybe Ben stupid. Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>goes down the chimney. It's like he's the father all
<v Speaker 3>and the uncle of all tricks. Not too bad. I
<v Speaker 3>think the funniest thing. And it's not really a gag,
<v Speaker 3>but it was just I like funny voices, and the
<v Speaker 3>judge had a funny voice. Yeah, did didn't he? Yeah?
<v Speaker 3>I don't know exactly what the name. Again, I don't
<v Speaker 3>know who is meant to be taking off or anything
<v Speaker 3>like that.
<v Speaker 2>But judge, whitey judge. Yeah, okay, that makes.
<v Speaker 3>A bunch of sense. Dogs like the dogs like, Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna go home and have some ham with mayonnaise.
<v Speaker 2>It definitely sounds to me like a Billy West voice
<v Speaker 2>who voices that it's Billy West.
<v Speaker 3>Yes, so yeah, I liked Matt Luck did good? Didn't he?
<v Speaker 6>I want to ask you a question.
<v Speaker 2>All right, it is trivia time, mister Davis. Hit me
<v Speaker 2>with your first question.
<v Speaker 3>What is the name of the club that is jumping
<v Speaker 3>into liquid? They're from something seven the Polar Bear Club
<v Speaker 3>or something the Zalon seven Polar Bear Club.
<v Speaker 2>My first question is what the three speeds of the
<v Speaker 2>conveyor belt?
<v Speaker 3>Oh they are slow, fast and loosing h yep, I'm
<v Speaker 3>not sure I get it. Really.
<v Speaker 2>It's from the iconic I Love Lucy episode where they're
<v Speaker 2>doing the chocolates and the convey is going really fast.
<v Speaker 3>That makes a whole bunches. It's cause switching something, isn't it.
<v Speaker 3>It's got something switching, I think, so I'll look it up.
<v Speaker 3>In the mean time, I'm going to ask you a
<v Speaker 3>quest job switching. It's called Grandpa was shot with?
<v Speaker 1>What?
<v Speaker 3>Grandpa? Oh? I thought he was choked with a chestnut? Oh? Okay, well,
<v Speaker 3>the answer is definitely chestnut.
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was choked with the chestnut because you
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't die were getting.
<v Speaker 3>Shot with the chestnut. Maybe if you're shot in the throat,
<v Speaker 3>maybe I thought it was I thought he was choked
<v Speaker 3>with the chestnut. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Either way,
<v Speaker 3>the answer is chestnut, and you got it right.
<v Speaker 2>And he smells bad. It sounds a bit Christmas, if
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean.
<v Speaker 3>Why don't you begin to smell a lot like Christmas? Yeah? Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>but I did enjoy that line.
<v Speaker 2>There's another wordplay where he's like, holy night. My next
<v Speaker 2>question is who was still at large?
<v Speaker 3>Oh? This is in the newspaper headline. Oh god, damn it.
<v Speaker 2>I do not heard the party at the end zombie. Oh, yes,
<v Speaker 2>but it spelled the c h, so that's a different
<v Speaker 2>way of spelling it. You can you can spell it chunkah,
<v Speaker 2>but it's stilp ance honeker correct well, much like hootspa yes,
<v Speaker 2>which also starts with an age. You've got the computer
<v Speaker 2>right there, although I have got one on my in
<v Speaker 2>my pocket that apparently has more computer power than the
<v Speaker 2>when I was talk to the moon.
<v Speaker 3>Kwansa. Can you look up the spelling for me? Because
<v Speaker 3>the feeling it's got two a It does, but not
<v Speaker 3>in this version. It is a kana. But I had
<v Speaker 3>two a's. Really yeah, okay, then my subtitles only gave
<v Speaker 3>it one.
<v Speaker 2>Well when I saw Kwanza, but I had two a's.
<v Speaker 2>Oh maybe I didn't. Maybe I just in my mind
<v Speaker 2>I knew it was two ways. I just wrote you
<v Speaker 2>just yeah.
<v Speaker 3>I just wanted to accuse the makers of the drama
<v Speaker 3>of cultural insensitivity. Am I going to ask you a question? Oh?
<v Speaker 3>What is the name of the prison that Bender is
<v Speaker 3>sent to? I do have that in my notes as well.
<v Speaker 3>Look it up. I can't bother what is it? I
<v Speaker 3>don't think at two death rows it's statica notata. That's right.
<v Speaker 2>And finally for me, what type of log was on
<v Speaker 2>the conveyor belts.
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I'm gonna say you log. Think of presidents Lincoln log,
<v Speaker 3>but it was Clinton log. It was Clinton logs. I
<v Speaker 3>got one last question, except it's going to be one
<v Speaker 3>of those Jeopardy questions. Jeopardy Ah no, no bender comes
<v Speaker 3>down the chimney bearing which game?
<v Speaker 2>I was going to write it down to it and
<v Speaker 2>I didn't. Got tea at the end of it, doesn't it?
<v Speaker 2>It's got too at the start of the start of
<v Speaker 2>what is it? It's triomino trimenos, all right? Game that
<v Speaker 2>I would not want to play. Do you know how
<v Speaker 2>to play dominoes? I used to play it a lot
<v Speaker 2>when I was a kid. If you asked to play
<v Speaker 2>it now, probably wouldn't yeh. I mean, I don't know
<v Speaker 2>whether I played it right.
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna sound like the widest guy ever and probably
<v Speaker 3>culturally and racially insensitive, but I always find it super
<v Speaker 3>cool when you're watching movies are like set in the
<v Speaker 3>hood and dudes are playing dominoes, Yeah, and they haven't
<v Speaker 3>like really going for it, Like how do you play?
<v Speaker 2>I'm impressed for people who can just play chess. I've
<v Speaker 2>always to learn how to play chess.
<v Speaker 3>Every five to ten years or so, I'm like, I
<v Speaker 3>should learn chess. Yeah, I think it is the mark
<v Speaker 3>of a sophisticated gentleman that he knows how to play chess.
<v Speaker 2>But I thought I walked into my who was housele
<v Speaker 2>was my friend's uncle's place, is about I don't know,
<v Speaker 2>four or five years ago, and he had this chess
<v Speaker 2>game like there that he was in the middle of
<v Speaker 2>playing with like his brother, and he said, have been
<v Speaker 2>playing for like three years, and like, that's so fucking cool.
<v Speaker 3>Yes, that is rat that is that is very cool.
<v Speaker 3>I love it was I just don't touch that because
<v Speaker 3>we've been playing it for like three years, and I'm like,
<v Speaker 3>that is awesome. I've mentioned many times. I'm sure one
<v Speaker 3>of my favorite movies is Searching for Bobby Fisher. Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>and how I just had this absolute blinding moment of
<v Speaker 3>clarity watching it when the little boy who's a chess prodigy,
<v Speaker 3>he sort of gets down to ground level and you
<v Speaker 3>realize that the chess board is a battlefield, and I
<v Speaker 3>was like, ah, fuck, I've been looking at a chess
<v Speaker 3>entirely you've got your souls in the front, then you've
<v Speaker 3>got your you know, your generals in the back and
<v Speaker 3>all that kind of ship, and you got towers.
<v Speaker 4>It's a fucking battle.
<v Speaker 2>I can never an Amazon. I bought a chest set away,
<v Speaker 2>I would, I would probably do that. I've got a
<v Speaker 2>dressy part chess set and the Simpsons chest set never
<v Speaker 2>opened us. Just I want to learn how to play
<v Speaker 2>before I bust it out.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but I can never so who moves to the
<v Speaker 3>left and right and there? Yeah, yeah, I'm sure once
<v Speaker 3>I've pick it up on me. Fine, Yeah, I mean
<v Speaker 3>the last thing I did was like subscribe to I'll
<v Speaker 3>get a chess app or something. It's like, you can
<v Speaker 3>take practice game. I say these things. I'm resigned to
<v Speaker 3>going to my.
<v Speaker 2>Grave not knowing you and I gonna have a chess
<v Speaker 2>game and every episode be going to do a move.
<v Speaker 3>Mitchell comings like we've been doing this ship for three years.
<v Speaker 3>It's like and there's like one pawn moved.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, him saying to me, don't touch the table. We've
<v Speaker 2>been plant for three is and what that is awesome?
<v Speaker 3>It's so rare. So yeah, I don't know, Maybe we
<v Speaker 3>should learn how to play dominoes first. Yeah, we probably should. Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>This show is brought to you by the four figure
<v Speaker 2>discount Patreon, where you'll find over one hundred hours of
<v Speaker 2>bonus podcasts, including exclusive Simpsons reviews and commentaries, as well
<v Speaker 2>as exclusive episodes of Going Down to South Park, Tales
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<v Speaker 2>slash four figure discount. All right, So, the original air
<v Speaker 2>of the Tale of Two Sanders was December twenty third,
<v Speaker 2>two thousand and one, almost Christmas.
<v Speaker 3>Well, I like that aired on Christmas Eve Eve because
<v Speaker 3>this is essentially said on Christmas Eve this episode, Wasn't
<v Speaker 3>it correct? Yeah?
<v Speaker 2>Would it have been Christmas Eve Eve first and then
<v Speaker 2>became Christmas Eve?
<v Speaker 3>Or is it?
<v Speaker 2>Did it start at Christmas Eve? I quite remember? Anyway,
<v Speaker 2>we'll find out. Production cobe was three ac be zero three,
<v Speaker 2>written by Bill Odenkok as we said, and directed by
<v Speaker 2>Ron Hugart. The opening caption was this episode performed entirely
<v Speaker 2>by sock Puppets, and the opening cartoon was box Car Blues,
<v Speaker 2>which was from nineteen thirty. The episode kicks off. It's
<v Speaker 2>Christmas time, the snow's going. It's just the Christmas version
<v Speaker 2>of the theme.
<v Speaker 3>What makeing? I'm just like smiling.
<v Speaker 7>In what has become a winter tradition.
<v Speaker 5>Members of the Zarlon seven Polar Bear Club today took
<v Speaker 5>the plunge into a river of liquid ammonia.
<v Speaker 4>There were no survivors.
<v Speaker 5>Takes all kinds.
<v Speaker 3>Takes all kinds. Trust McNeil is awesome. Were there are
<v Speaker 3>a few things I enjoy more than stilted banter. Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>all kinds, that's right, Tom.
<v Speaker 2>Have you seen the small little ashes? Is the ashes whatever?
<v Speaker 2>The cricket trophy? But where the chick makes comment about
<v Speaker 2>the penis No, you've not seen the Channel ten yews report.
<v Speaker 2>It's iconic. So he's like, so basically they talk about
<v Speaker 2>it's like the ashes or something. It's like this time
<v Speaker 2>little trophy, like it's amazing how they can get so
<v Speaker 2>much joy or something so small. And she goes, well,
<v Speaker 2>you know, wouldn't you on television? And his face is
<v Speaker 2>like and just cuts away straight to her it's the
<v Speaker 2>fucking greatest thing ever.
<v Speaker 3>Well, you'd certainly know. Goddamn.
<v Speaker 2>It's like the timing is impeccable. I highly recommend checking
<v Speaker 2>that out. I might actually plant now.
<v Speaker 1>And England skipper Andrew Strauss arrived in London proudly showing
<v Speaker 1>off the little urn. I'll spend four days at home
<v Speaker 1>before flying out for the World Cup. And Belinda, I
<v Speaker 1>just can't understand how something so small can be so impressive.
<v Speaker 3>Well Mark you would know about that, thank you very much.
<v Speaker 3>Where there's next with Jane Riley.
<v Speaker 2>But first here's George Negus.
<v Speaker 3>See that was worth it. God, next with here, but
<v Speaker 3>I will show it to him pretty good. That was
<v Speaker 3>really good, Danner.
<v Speaker 2>But then the head of Walter Cronkite says that.
<v Speaker 3>Guys laughing, I just love the benders. This guys to trustworthy.
<v Speaker 2>What's his angle? That's the world we live in now though, right,
<v Speaker 2>oh very much, you're too nice. What's what's what? What's
<v Speaker 2>your angle?
<v Speaker 3>What are you? What are you up to?
<v Speaker 2>And he says that we are underestimating robot Santa. So
<v Speaker 2>bolt your doors, say goodbye to your pets, and lock
<v Speaker 2>your children in the closet or whatever it is. And
<v Speaker 2>they start preparing.
<v Speaker 3>This is Walter Conquard saying I told you so.
<v Speaker 2>Yes, Hemie puts wood on the TV. They try closing
<v Speaker 2>up the fireplace. They're pushing, Bender's pulling. If he starts pushing,
<v Speaker 2>then they get the bulletproof shutters that the professor has
<v Speaker 2>installed and on the outside and the light sort of
<v Speaker 2>to say trespasses will be shot.
<v Speaker 3>Correct.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and he can't touch us as long as we're
<v Speaker 2>not shoot enough to go outside. By the way, you're
<v Speaker 2>going to deliver these letters directly to Santa and his
<v Speaker 2>death Fortress, and Neptune then reads the underletter and it's
<v Speaker 2>this is the beginning of the sadness of this episode.
<v Speaker 2>Please don't bring me into gifts. The bicycle that you
<v Speaker 2>shot me with last year tore up my insides. I'm
<v Speaker 2>like Jesus O damn. And then they paid off the
<v Speaker 2>ear by shooting go again. This is dark.
<v Speaker 3>We're doubling down on the darkness with the We're recording
<v Speaker 3>two episodes back to back, by the way, because that's
<v Speaker 3>how we roll here at fort the discoun industry.
<v Speaker 2>Today, we've had child molestation and child abuse is indeed and.
<v Speaker 7>For laps, Dear Santa, please bring me a coffin for Grandpa.
<v Speaker 5>You choked him with a chestnut last year and he's
<v Speaker 5>beginning to smell a lot like Xmas, if you know
<v Speaker 5>what I mean.
<v Speaker 2>Then Fry says they need to bring back the Christmas
<v Speaker 2>that he remembers. This is pretty much what I would
<v Speaker 2>be like. This isn't Christmas. Let's make the Christmas that
<v Speaker 2>I that I grew up with. And Leader says, we
<v Speaker 2>sit on Santa's lap and hard. Then arrive at the
<v Speaker 2>north pole of Neptune at Jolly Junction and a welcoming
<v Speaker 2>party arrive and they say, you want to buy a
<v Speaker 2>time little kid. Basically, the raw poor they need money. Yes,
<v Speaker 2>it feel really sad for them. Touched before. I liked
<v Speaker 2>the whole We're starving. You live in gingerbread house. It's
<v Speaker 2>full or shout cove you both. But there's no toy
<v Speaker 2>since everyone is now on the naughty list.
<v Speaker 3>So in the old factory doesn't have like coming soon
<v Speaker 3>crackhouse crackhouse.
<v Speaker 2>Yes, the toy factory is shut down. They've got their money,
<v Speaker 2>they can't get paid, so they asked for volunteers to
<v Speaker 2>come get into Santa's fortress and help turn it around
<v Speaker 2>and stop Santa. And so the jokers are always holding
<v Speaker 2>hands with their partners. Yes, they imply they gay a
<v Speaker 2>little bit later on. Apparently Bill Odenkirk confirmed later recently, Yes,
<v Speaker 2>I was supposed to be gay the entire time.
<v Speaker 3>Okay, there you go. Fun you learned a little something too. Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>So they arrive at the fortress at the front and
<v Speaker 2>the sign says if you're tall than this, prepared to die.
<v Speaker 2>Didn't expect the blade to come out. I was like, oh, okay,
<v Speaker 2>you would have died. The bird gets zapped by the
<v Speaker 2>Shockland fence an omen no, it's dinner. And then Santa
<v Speaker 2>is going through the naughty list and he's got the
<v Speaker 2>mafia beating up seem beating up one of the shopkeepers
<v Speaker 2>with a dead cat. Oh yeah, the cat was like
<v Speaker 2>stiff dead.
<v Speaker 3>I was like, oh share.
<v Speaker 2>And also the shopkeepers are not paying protection money, also
<v Speaker 2>on the naughty list. And then Neptunians bring Male which
<v Speaker 2>is actually just fry Bender and Leila in the sacks.
<v Speaker 2>He's annoyed that I didn't knock what I could be
<v Speaker 2>watching something naughty. And then the gang's on the bag.
<v Speaker 2>They say they're going to destroy him with some logical paradox, Spender,
<v Speaker 2>cover your ears.
<v Speaker 4>All nine intruders.
<v Speaker 3>Hold it.
<v Speaker 7>Santa, consider this, you are programmed to destroy the naughty,
<v Speaker 7>but many of those you destroy are in fact nice.
<v Speaker 7>I submit to you that you are naughty, and then
<v Speaker 7>logically you must destroy yourself.
<v Speaker 4>Nice try, but my head was built with paradox absorbing
<v Speaker 4>crumple zones.
<v Speaker 2>Then he chases them out with the missile gun. I
<v Speaker 2>get stuck in the elevator door. There's a joke here, right,
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, this is not a futurama gag, because they're
<v Speaker 2>usually a smart enough to know that they trust their
<v Speaker 2>viewers are smart enough to understand the joke. She runs
<v Speaker 2>out with the missile head and goes, wait, this is
<v Speaker 2>what we're running from. And I'm like, I got that,
<v Speaker 2>that's the joke. Why did Leila have to explain that
<v Speaker 2>to me? That's very Unfeaturedama. That's a little Simpsons desk,
<v Speaker 2>Yes eighteen wait Simpsons. If she had just gone wait
<v Speaker 2>a minute, that's all I needed, not that this is
<v Speaker 2>what we're running away from.
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, we expect better from your future. I just
<v Speaker 3>I just came.
<v Speaker 2>Across very unfutur umarests. I did like the gas you
<v Speaker 2>end on the door, just that you know when you
<v Speaker 2>pushed the button. I'm not going to close any fast,
<v Speaker 2>but you just keep pushing it. If you had a
<v Speaker 2>moment where I saw a woman get her head caught
<v Speaker 2>in the elevator doors on the weekend, so it was
<v Speaker 2>like it was like I was watching it happen.
<v Speaker 3>In slow motions.
<v Speaker 2>So she was wheeling someone in a wheelchair, assuming with
<v Speaker 2>her mother or whatever. It was an an alderly woman,
<v Speaker 2>and she pushed the wheelchair in and the door started closing.
<v Speaker 2>I don't know whether she just expected it to open
<v Speaker 2>up again. Sometimes able to get to a point and
<v Speaker 2>they reopen, and she's just sort of standing there saying.
<v Speaker 3>Oh wait there.
<v Speaker 4>Oh.
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, are you can I get in? They closed, They.
<v Speaker 2>Close and just got on the head. I was like
<v Speaker 2>and she like fell back within. The door closed, and
<v Speaker 2>I was like and the album was just like, Oh,
<v Speaker 2>she'll be okay. I'll call her on my phone and
<v Speaker 2>she's caught up on the FAE. She's like, oh, okay,
<v Speaker 2>just come back up, and I'm like, like that was
<v Speaker 2>fucking weird.
<v Speaker 3>I was like, do I leave this old lady alone
<v Speaker 3>on this because she alone?
<v Speaker 2>She pulled her phone out and called this woman, so
<v Speaker 2>she's clearly capable. Sounds like I don't want to offend
<v Speaker 2>her and say, oh stay with you were trying to
<v Speaker 2>fuck off. But this this woman was like standing in
<v Speaker 2>the doorway like making a joke, and I'm like, those
<v Speaker 2>doors aren't gonna bomb closed.
<v Speaker 3>She's got stumble backwards them. They closed all the way.
<v Speaker 3>Damn Yeah what hurt? Surely right? I think so? Or
<v Speaker 3>they like pressurized, so that well mean resistance. It's not
<v Speaker 3>like someone slamming her door shut on your head.
<v Speaker 2>Because because I thought they was supposed when they felt resistance,
<v Speaker 2>I was supposed to reopen. They did, though, they like
<v Speaker 2>hit her head. She fell back and then just closed
<v Speaker 2>the whole way.
<v Speaker 3>Nothing works the way I used to.
<v Speaker 2>But this old woman, she wasn't bothered at all. She
<v Speaker 2>would she didn't go, oh you okay. She was just like, oh,
<v Speaker 2>she'll be fine. I'll just call it on my phone.
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, all right on me phone. Then she pulled
<v Speaker 2>her phone out. She was a right sitting in a wheelchair.
<v Speaker 2>Good old lady. I've got a story aboutter an old
<v Speaker 2>lady worker which I told in the Friends podcast recently,
<v Speaker 2>but it relates to Jingle all the way, so I'll
<v Speaker 2>save it for our movie Guys podcast we're recording that
<v Speaker 2>this season.
<v Speaker 3>We are.
<v Speaker 2>Indeed, it's gonna be the first time Guy, Mitch and
<v Speaker 2>Dan have been in the same room since we recorded
<v Speaker 2>our review of What's Fun. Time in America was back
<v Speaker 2>in twenty in America nineteen oh What's Time in Hollywood,
<v Speaker 2>which is also in America.
<v Speaker 3>And that was before COVID. Indeed, So no embrace yourself
<v Speaker 3>for fisticuffs, yes, or love them?
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Well both like can we head? But oh how
<v Speaker 2>could you?
<v Speaker 3>I know you didn't? Why didn't you?
<v Speaker 2>It's the hop on a sleigh here, and they think
<v Speaker 2>it's basically it's like fast and fast and fast. I
<v Speaker 2>think they're going to be going, but they're not going anywhere.
<v Speaker 2>But the bomb explodes in the elevator, sending them down
<v Speaker 2>the hill because of the the explosion, and then they
<v Speaker 2>put snow all over the Neptunians. It was an odd
<v Speaker 2>gag here because I thought I'm going to like cover
<v Speaker 2>the food because you see him cooking the chicken. I'm like,
<v Speaker 2>are they going to spoil their food? And just goes
<v Speaker 2>on them and not on the food. I was like, oh,
<v Speaker 2>we didn't expect that joke was right there. He didn't
<v Speaker 2>take it, but then the ship's not moving anywhere as
<v Speaker 2>they take office because Santo is holding it. But unfortunately
<v Speaker 2>for him, he gets melted into the ice and the
<v Speaker 2>Neptunion comes out and kicks in, which I liked, and
<v Speaker 2>they say we can make toys again, and Fry says,
<v Speaker 2>you know I'll be able to deliver it, and they say,
<v Speaker 2>and him, he couldn't do that.
<v Speaker 3>Evil can evil could?
<v Speaker 2>Everybody was an ear where evil can evil was like that.
<v Speaker 2>You know, nothing was too much for evil can evil.
<v Speaker 2>When I was a kid, it was like, fucking, if
<v Speaker 2>ever can do it, I can do it. He's a
<v Speaker 2>very bad influence, right.
<v Speaker 3>Oh absolutely? Why was this a thing? How many kids
<v Speaker 3>would have broken Vario or die? And when we say kids,
<v Speaker 3>I mean boys, Yeah, because girls are smart for this shit. Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>busted various appendages by Jerry building a ramp. But the
<v Speaker 3>Dead Devil episodes based on that, Yeah, yeah, very much.
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, I mean didn't he die in an accident
<v Speaker 3>a stunt gone? I imagine there was just residual kind
<v Speaker 3>of damage to his body over the years rule that ship.
<v Speaker 2>I thought he nearly died in a stunt once or something. Yeah,
<v Speaker 2>in Las Vegas.
<v Speaker 3>That might have been Snake Gully that I think he
<v Speaker 3>tried to jump. Did he try to jump the Grand Canyon?
<v Speaker 3>There's a dock on him called being Evil. That's apparently
<v Speaker 3>because apparently it's a bit of a prick in real
<v Speaker 3>life as well.
<v Speaker 2>Really didn't his son try and like take over?
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I feel sorry for because like his son felt
<v Speaker 2>like he had to live up to It's like, did
<v Speaker 2>you really want to do this or did your dad
<v Speaker 2>make it?
<v Speaker 3>I think I just want to be a lawyer. Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>here we go.
<v Speaker 2>Evils face Las Vegas fame to jump over the fountains
<v Speaker 2>that sees the palace resulted in him being unconscious for
<v Speaker 2>a month.
<v Speaker 3>Oh boy, but I mean looks as the fore Finger
<v Speaker 3>Discount resident oldie, I can say they grow up in
<v Speaker 3>the seventies. Yeah, Evil and Evil was fucking huge. My
<v Speaker 3>buddy JP had like he did this in sixty seven,
<v Speaker 3>that stunt.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but during the during the seventies.
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was an eighty sound It was was
<v Speaker 2>that long ago.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean there were like comic books about him,
<v Speaker 3>action figures. Really. Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>It's a great name, though, isn't it?
<v Speaker 3>Evil can Evil? It's spent such a marketing name. It
<v Speaker 3>really is. There was a thing you could buy where
<v Speaker 3>it was like Evil on his motorcycle and you attached
<v Speaker 3>to this little thing and he sort of wound it
<v Speaker 3>up and you would right off, and if you were lucky,
<v Speaker 3>it would do a little it would pop a wheelly.
<v Speaker 2>He was kind of like the Jack Arts of the
<v Speaker 2>seventies eighties, wasn't he?
<v Speaker 3>Yes, but also like a real life superhero.
<v Speaker 2>Was Yeah, because you saw him doing it, Yeah, absolutely, yeah,
<v Speaker 2>but you didn't see the times that he failed, the
<v Speaker 2>amount times he had to practice those sons.
<v Speaker 3>We were probably hoping for that in a way. It'll
<v Speaker 3>be great if he does it, but also be great
<v Speaker 3>if he doesn't.
<v Speaker 2>Things I've learned today. I didn't realize Evil was ev
<v Speaker 2>e l. Oh, even it was like I was evil as.
<v Speaker 3>In years and evil. I did not know that. Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>it doesn't look as cool. Sounds cool, but like you
<v Speaker 3>look at it's like ev e l doesn't look anywhere
<v Speaker 3>near as cool as evil can.
<v Speaker 2>Well you know, I can. Evil ends with ev El.
<v Speaker 2>I get that, but but it's funny. I mean, there
<v Speaker 2>are certain times to say evil and evil. Yeah, there
<v Speaker 2>are certain names just become the property of certain people.
<v Speaker 2>I mean I'm sure there are other people out there
<v Speaker 2>named Elvis. Yeah, but it's like Costello's like, fuck, Elvis's.
<v Speaker 3>Gave himself that name.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you don't see many kids called evil? No, was
<v Speaker 2>that his actual name was? Was his actual name?
<v Speaker 4>Was it?
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.
<v Speaker 2>I mean look at that, surely not, because that's taken
<v Speaker 2>a ship thing and turn it into a positive. Absolutely
<v Speaker 2>like a brand. If your last name is Canevil and
<v Speaker 2>someone calls you evil, your parents hate you, right, Robert
<v Speaker 2>Craig Canievel was his name?
<v Speaker 3>Okay? Yeah, well he's a bit of a marketing genius then,
<v Speaker 3>or at least he's got marketing one O one right,
<v Speaker 3>Because I mean, like we're saying, that's a name that
<v Speaker 3>just rolls up the tongue. Why are we talking about
<v Speaker 3>him again? Could like, how did we get to this guy?
<v Speaker 3>I go, yeah, this is why there's white people tune
<v Speaker 3>into fourth a discount us going off the map.
<v Speaker 2>But the native robot because a human can't do it.
<v Speaker 2>Oh crap, I'm some sort of robot. So Ben, it's
<v Speaker 2>not gonna be the new Santa, but he's not built
<v Speaker 2>to eulytize specifications. The Niputunians and sing their song.
<v Speaker 5>We are free and fairly sober with so many choys
<v Speaker 5>to build. The machines are kind of tricky, probably someone needly.
<v Speaker 6>Killed, but they work ving, which is good because we
<v Speaker 6>don't intend to pay the else.
<v Speaker 4>Back to work today, hooray.
<v Speaker 5>We have just said couple of hours to make Sebelion
<v Speaker 5>gifts and the labor is easy and you lower trip bullships.
<v Speaker 7>You can make the job real quick if you turn
<v Speaker 7>up the controls to supersede.
<v Speaker 6>You're trying to work on machine.
<v Speaker 3>Hooray. I know your cars are rand ugly.
<v Speaker 7>Your pride wheel.
<v Speaker 3>Mask by pain let my hair a bee, smile, warm
<v Speaker 3>your hearts.
<v Speaker 5>There's a toy launched in my brain beating.
<v Speaker 4>I'll retire and we can't work anything and we're married.
<v Speaker 4>Every Sorry, why do something basses? Do you want the
<v Speaker 4>kids to think that Sata's just.
<v Speaker 3>A crumby empty handed jerk? That shut your YACs and
<v Speaker 3>back to work.
<v Speaker 5>I was very These toy soldiers are poorly painted.
<v Speaker 7>And they're made from inferior wood.
<v Speaker 4>I should give you all a beating, but I really
<v Speaker 4>have to fly. If I warn't stuck here frozen, I
<v Speaker 4>harpoon you in the eye.
<v Speaker 3>It's back into to drown ourselves and ride.
<v Speaker 7>You did the mess you could. I guess the sons
<v Speaker 7>of these gorillas are okay.
<v Speaker 5>Guin the extra day, all right?
<v Speaker 2>I did love that adequate the story of my life.
<v Speaker 2>But Bender is now Santa and he breaks in and
<v Speaker 2>the family again, suggesting suicide pills to kids. I was like,
<v Speaker 2>this is not the children, Mommy.
<v Speaker 3>Mommy sentence through the perimeter. This is at kids, take
<v Speaker 3>your suicide pills so you won't suffer. No way. I'm
<v Speaker 3>the good Santa.
<v Speaker 6>I've got toys at very reasonable prices.
<v Speaker 5>Don't listen to them. He's the father of all lies
<v Speaker 5>and the uncle of all tricks.
<v Speaker 3>When I come bearing triamonos go for the shins.
<v Speaker 6>What I'm down?
<v Speaker 3>Well, hello, they're handsome.
<v Speaker 1>Won't you have a cookie?
<v Speaker 3>Don't mind me if I do? How what's in these things?
<v Speaker 3>Why don't you slip into something more fiery?
<v Speaker 2>This is where I've been is now taking off, and
<v Speaker 2>he says quonsibot, and he says, no one understands Kwonza.
<v Speaker 2>You're tending out these these books. What does the book say?
<v Speaker 3>What is Konza? What is How long has he been
<v Speaker 3>hanging at those books? Hundred and forty seven years That
<v Speaker 3>was a trivia question that I was going to tell, okay,
<v Speaker 3>and that I was going to ask, and I did.
<v Speaker 2>Not forgot plenty of Express crew. Now on Christmas Eve,
<v Speaker 2>they're having a good time having eggnugative a bathtub. It's
<v Speaker 2>gote a bit sour though, because your man's having a.
<v Speaker 3>Bathroom there kind of a centered bath in peace.
<v Speaker 2>And then Leila says to him, to the professor, don't
<v Speaker 2>hurt him. It's been done. It don't hurt Santa. Oh,
<v Speaker 2>you sound like a broken MP three. I'm like, how
<v Speaker 2>does there be three?
<v Speaker 1>Is?
<v Speaker 2>Get broken? It gets corrupt, get corrupted? Yeah, it used
<v Speaker 2>to be. Sometimes you get MP three playing the song
<v Speaker 2>will be corrupting.
<v Speaker 3>You're like, ah me, yeah, I've got I've got a few,
<v Speaker 3>like early two thousands tracks that I would have downloaded
<v Speaker 3>of Lime Wire or something Kazar. Yeah, it's like it's
<v Speaker 3>got a glitch in it, and I'm like, all that sound. Yeah,
<v Speaker 3>But it's like, I don't think you're ever going to
<v Speaker 3>I don't think anyone cares about you enough to put
<v Speaker 3>you online again. So I'm just gonna take what I
<v Speaker 3>can get.
<v Speaker 2>Do you know, forever there's a generation of kids who
<v Speaker 2>thought that Bob Marley saying don't worry to be happy
<v Speaker 2>because on Gazar and the other one he said Lime LimeWire,
<v Speaker 2>the fire was called Bob Marley, don't worry to be happy.
<v Speaker 2>Entire generation of kids thought that that Bob Marley saying it.
<v Speaker 2>Because you're listening to You're like, I can see it
<v Speaker 2>why a kid would kind of think, Bob Marley, it's
<v Speaker 2>got like a kind of like, you know it.
<v Speaker 3>Reggae vibe to it. Yeah, but yeah, I just be
<v Speaker 3>happy about it. Be happy because if you're.
<v Speaker 2>Gonna work anyway. But I just remember, like when you
<v Speaker 2>download songs, it'd be like twenty one percent, You're like, well,
<v Speaker 2>got twenty one percent to listen to, and you're like
<v Speaker 2>you buffer it and you listen to the song.
<v Speaker 3>Man.
<v Speaker 2>They were good times, I mean, but the Man of
<v Speaker 2>Ours we wasted doing pointless ship now like none of that,
<v Speaker 2>all those things we spent hours downloading and stuff.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I haven't any more.
<v Speaker 2>Just we wasted life, really, but it's like it was fun,
<v Speaker 2>oh god, yeah, yeah, I mean it's hard to explain
<v Speaker 2>to like, it would be so impossible to explain to
<v Speaker 2>Elliott when he's like ten that we said do that,
<v Speaker 2>you know, but when he just he lives in the
<v Speaker 2>world where everything's on demand when he wants it, he
<v Speaker 2>doesn't understand the concept of having to wait. Yeah, and
<v Speaker 2>that's what's scared. We're talking to like the teachers at
<v Speaker 2>the schools, like the kids don't understand waiting anymore. They
<v Speaker 2>don't have to have patients anymore. Everything they want always
<v Speaker 2>there at their fingertips, which is why they're like, we
<v Speaker 2>don't recommend screen time because when you were growing up something,
<v Speaker 2>the TV would go on, and once the show was finished,
<v Speaker 2>the TV would go off because that show was finished.
<v Speaker 3>It was done.
<v Speaker 2>Now it's you want this show, was you like to
<v Speaker 2>also watch every other episode of this series right now?
<v Speaker 1>You know?
<v Speaker 3>It's it's tough.
<v Speaker 2>It's good. It's good for the consumer, but it's also
<v Speaker 2>hard for parents.
<v Speaker 3>It's good for Netflix.
<v Speaker 2>I've had to band YouTube because YouTube is just like
<v Speaker 2>fucking ads and like, you may also like this.
<v Speaker 3>That's like I was like, I want to watch that one.
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, you're not watching that video with like a
<v Speaker 2>fucking fluorescent t rex just doing nothing. I'm like, oh,
<v Speaker 2>it's just brain dead television.
<v Speaker 3>The t rex. It's like someone's getting on YouTube. We're
<v Speaker 3>done recording. Let's wrap this up.
<v Speaker 2>This show is brought to you by the four Finger
<v Speaker 2>Discount Patreon, where you're find over one hundred hours of
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<v Speaker 2>slash four finger Discount. But Professor shoots Bender anyway, he
<v Speaker 2>dumps the toys into the sewer. That's his way of
<v Speaker 2>getting it, having to do the job.
<v Speaker 3>It's sat and we got him coined. Oh smell a
<v Speaker 3>juicy promotion for me, And.
<v Speaker 5>It's juicy re hiring back under the force for me.
<v Speaker 2>Then it's time at the famous original Race Superior Court
<v Speaker 2>and Judge Wide presides and Bender, please not Santa. Professor
<v Speaker 2>shoots him again. Then m'clock arrives a chicken lawyer and
<v Speaker 2>he thought the girl I love it, don't be scared.
<v Speaker 2>I thought you sent corn. Can you point to that
<v Speaker 2>robot over there? I think the court system is one
<v Speaker 2>of the easiest things to parody.
<v Speaker 3>Oh, because well it's theater. Yeah, it really is, isn't it. Yeah?
<v Speaker 6>And just.
<v Speaker 2>Now, were you paid for your and still you didn't
<v Speaker 2>say the things? Badger of the witness Badger where And
<v Speaker 2>then they find Benda guilty and it's going.
<v Speaker 3>To be executed at sundown. It's happening very fast, isn't it.
<v Speaker 3>We're finally got a few minutes left in the episode.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so that sataka Robert Penitentiary Diact debated Robert Walking.
<v Speaker 2>When you see the Robert Delton term I'm coming.
<v Speaker 3>I heard I heard him. That was awesome. That was
<v Speaker 3>Maurice la Marsh. Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>Then Leela and Fry they go back to get Santa
<v Speaker 2>to prove that Bender is innocent, and we'll see who
<v Speaker 2>as the last hole and it's time. Basically they're take
<v Speaker 2>him out and the ice melts because the pollution caused
<v Speaker 2>by the factory has caused the greenhouse effect.
<v Speaker 3>Oh that's why you're wearing those shorts. Yeah, yeah, that's
<v Speaker 3>the really.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's the reason. Santa then escapes and he fires
<v Speaker 2>into the factory and I like the escape here was
<v Speaker 2>kind of like a video game, but the els could
<v Speaker 2>just like, oh, platform games, just jumping everything. But she
<v Speaker 2>turns the bayonet up and get something underneath. Then look
<v Speaker 2>out earth. I'm dreaming of a red Christmas. Have you
<v Speaker 2>seen a red wedding episode of Game of Thrones. I've
<v Speaker 2>never seen it. I've had a lot about it, though,
<v Speaker 2>I have, and it is kind of oh boy, yeah,
<v Speaker 2>like if you're a fan of the show, you're changed
<v Speaker 2>after watching it pretty much. I don't spoil it. I'm
<v Speaker 2>still gonna watch it.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but I think it was one of the episodes
<v Speaker 3>I was like, I think I'm kind of tuning out.
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I think I've got a fairly high tolerance
<v Speaker 3>for bloodshed and violence and all that kind of stuff,
<v Speaker 3>and even this was kind of like it's been cruel.
<v Speaker 2>That's why I got out of Walking Dead. I knew
<v Speaker 2>that this what happens in the comedy. When they did
<v Speaker 2>the thing with Glenn, Oh, yeah, I was like, yeah, done.
<v Speaker 2>I don't I'm not enjoying this anymore.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm finding that more and more with a lot
<v Speaker 3>of things. It's like and for someone who grew up
<v Speaker 3>like watching like The Evil Dead a lot, but it
<v Speaker 3>wasn't a weekly thing, that's true. It was like a
<v Speaker 3>movie that you get a casual. Oh, it's gonna be
<v Speaker 3>blood thirsty for a two hour time, ninety minutes on
<v Speaker 3>a mount. Yes, it's like I'm gonna keep coming back
<v Speaker 3>for more, you know, and your build sort of yeah,
<v Speaker 3>your relationship with the Baria's characters, only to see him
<v Speaker 3>get all kind of messed up.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, not fine at all. But it's time for the magnecutioner.
<v Speaker 2>No magnet executioner, man executioner. Yeah, and i'd love to
<v Speaker 2>just it's such an American thing that it had a
<v Speaker 2>magnet in the logo.
<v Speaker 3>That's just branded.
<v Speaker 5>Ah, good old Maggie. When I pull a switch, these
<v Speaker 5>powerful electro magnets will tear you limb from limb, killing
<v Speaker 5>you in the most humane possible manner.
<v Speaker 6>But mister Mayor, that doesn't sound humane.
<v Speaker 5>It is for the witnesses because it's not boring. He
<v Speaker 5>instant this random number generator reaches zero, you'll be executed.
<v Speaker 3>Oh how terrified would this be? Oh? God?
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like just as a randomized you're like, you don't
<v Speaker 2>know when you're gonna die, at least if it's a
<v Speaker 2>canon your he prepare yourself, but not knowing exactly when
<v Speaker 2>it's not play Russian Roulette.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but at the same time, I mean, if you
<v Speaker 3>if the zapp happens soon as it as soon as
<v Speaker 3>zero comes up, I mean, if you're getting ten eight seven,
<v Speaker 3>I mean you can feel the sort of the antipation
<v Speaker 3>building up. I imagine where it's just like, I mean,
<v Speaker 3>would you'd rather have someone standing behind you with a
<v Speaker 3>loaded gun saying I'm gonna shoot you in the back
<v Speaker 3>of the head in five seconds? And then they pulled
<v Speaker 3>the trigger on three and it's like, oh, oh, okay,
<v Speaker 3>that was a relief. Look at these episodes done to
<v Speaker 3>us but shot in the head.
<v Speaker 4>Cheer all.
<v Speaker 3>Literally this every Monday talking ship with Dan.
<v Speaker 2>Oh and now this now we're shooting each other in
<v Speaker 2>the head. It's gone, but it reaches zero, does Regiero
<v Speaker 2>yet everything it's just a Santa.
<v Speaker 3>Feces, a sort of the Iron Spartacus. Yeah, where everyone
<v Speaker 3>comes up says I'm Santa, I'm Santa, and I'm never
<v Speaker 3>friend Jesus and I'm Jesus. It's horrible but not boring.
<v Speaker 2>But Santa comes in shoots him free because it gets
<v Speaker 2>to zero, I think, yeah, because it's already yeah yeah,
<v Speaker 2>and he's about to.
<v Speaker 3>Be pulled about and he stats swing La sweet charot.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah you don't know why. Yeah, there might be a raising.
<v Speaker 2>There's a real set to get him. Jesus, I help
<v Speaker 2>those who help themselves.
<v Speaker 3>Not a lot of zoid bigger than this. But he
<v Speaker 3>hit a few minutes. Yeah, you save my life.
<v Speaker 4>Please don't kill me. I'm not here to kill you. Bender.
<v Speaker 3>I need you to help me save Xmas. Gee, way Santa,
<v Speaker 3>you want me to help you, don't do it. He's evil,
<v Speaker 3>I know he is, but I have no choice.
<v Speaker 4>I'm running late, and if I don't complete my brutal rampage,
<v Speaker 4>well it just wouldn't be exless. I guess what I'm
<v Speaker 4>asking is, Bender, won't you join my slaying tonight?
<v Speaker 3>Well, there's this.
<v Speaker 2>Season and they lead to this cause mayhem. They destroy
<v Speaker 2>the Stinky Stalks diaper service, which means shit just goes everywhere.
<v Speaker 3>It's all tying up.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, in south Bury is reviewed. The world shited their pants.
<v Speaker 2>It was shitty diapers landing on them. Let its know, Yes,
<v Speaker 2>and they shoot the bike at the girl once again.
<v Speaker 2>The city's just all destroyed. Exmas is ruined. There should
<v Speaker 2>be about bringing people together, but not blowing them apart.
<v Speaker 2>But fear has brought them together and they try to
<v Speaker 2>go stappy, but it just wasn't sappy.
<v Speaker 3>Hey, quins a bte were you off to you? Hear
<v Speaker 3>about it? Plakazami's having a lue eem but Ney Breadth you.
<v Speaker 4>Coming, were, by the way better. Here's a small token
<v Speaker 4>of my appreciation for being Senta while I was trapped
<v Speaker 4>in the ice. Hey, chief, you screw it up. There's
<v Speaker 4>nothing in here.
<v Speaker 3>Oh it might appear empty, but the message is clear.
<v Speaker 3>Play center again and I'll kill you next year. And
<v Speaker 3>that is the end of the episode. Yeah. Yeah, I
<v Speaker 3>was reminded of another Christmas story, die Hard, with I
<v Speaker 3>end up falling off like that. It looked a bit
<v Speaker 3>like that. Probably was spoiler for die Hard, but it
<v Speaker 3>looked like Hans Grubber falling off the bidley. I think
<v Speaker 3>it was meant to be you say that. Actually it
<v Speaker 3>always looks spot spot, isn't it. Yeah?
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, not as good as ex me story, this one.
<v Speaker 2>It just I watched Christmas stories to feel happy and
<v Speaker 2>this one just left me feeling kind of.
<v Speaker 3>Sad, kind of glum. Yeah, I mean, which is fine,
<v Speaker 3>I guess, but it's not what I wanted to do.
<v Speaker 3>A Christmas episode no, no, I mean.
<v Speaker 2>I can completely understand why the Fox crew were like, ah,
<v Speaker 2>let's this one was more like a lump of cole
<v Speaker 2>An extra story. My extra story had that love story
<v Speaker 2>between Leelan and Frying things. We're buying it, path, I'm
<v Speaker 2>gonna buy you so many lizards and things like that.
<v Speaker 4>You know.
<v Speaker 3>It was like a parrot or five hundred lizards. I
<v Speaker 3>think that's what it was.
<v Speaker 2>Somehow I got money. I can't remember how old white,
<v Speaker 2>but this one was just didn't quite work.
<v Speaker 3>It was just a bit grim. Yeah, and sometimes a
<v Speaker 3>grim Christmas story can be a nice stringent alternative to
<v Speaker 3>the sweet eggnog of Christmas stories. But in this case,
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. This one felt like an eggog bath
<v Speaker 3>that also had a dash of Zoidberg.
<v Speaker 2>All right, well, that is our review of a Tale
<v Speaker 2>of two Sanders. Hope you guys all have a fantastic Christmas.
<v Speaker 2>This is the Christmas season right now.
<v Speaker 3>It is indeed, yeh, a merry Christmas everyone to all
<v Speaker 3>our well everyone who tunes into to the Maria shows
<v Speaker 3>on the four Finger Discan network. We are very pleased
<v Speaker 3>to get into your ears on a regular basis. Be
<v Speaker 3>you a patron or just a filthy casual listener. These
<v Speaker 3>are only for the patrons. Well okay then, but those peasants, well,
<v Speaker 3>this one's for you. We love you especially.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're going to be doing a Christmas special in
<v Speaker 2>a couple of weeks as while recording that, so that
<v Speaker 2>look out for that one, because that's going to be fun.
<v Speaker 2>I knew I should have a few drinks. Yes, that
<v Speaker 2>might be a good idea, just our whistle. Indeed, while
<v Speaker 2>we're doing the recording, little.
<v Speaker 3>Fate fly into my drink. That's a gag. I put
<v Speaker 3>it there.
<v Speaker 2>I'll put it all right, guys. Think alright, guys, thank
<v Speaker 2>you for listening to our review of a Tale two sounds.
<v Speaker 2>Hope you're enjoying everything about tales. If you trouble love
<v Speaker 2>bring it to you guys each and every month. And
<v Speaker 2>thank you again for all of you spre absolute legends.
<v Speaker 2>Weida send the final words for those listeners out there,
<v Speaker 2>dand up for Christmas. I've decided to let you punch
<v Speaker 2>me for a buck.