Bonus Episode: Indigenous Peoples’ Day with Lauren Schad

00:00:02
Speaker 1: Hi, I'm timnio Oshinsky and this is a bonus episode of Serving Pancakes with League One Volleyball. With October fourteenth being Indigenous People's Day, we wanted to highlight an amazing volleyball player who has not only made an impact on the court, but off the court as well, educating and bringing awareness about violence towards Indigenous women, girls, and two spirit people. Lauren shadd is a member of the Cheyenne River Lakota tribe and is a former middle hitter from the University of San Diego who played professionally in France for five years. Lauren, Welcome to Serving Pancakes. Thank you so much for being here.

00:00:37
Speaker 2: Hi, thank you so much for having me. Tiffany, I'm really excited and yeah, it's going to be a really good opportunity for us to chat.

00:00:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm very excited to have you on because you have a fascinating story, a fascinating career in volleyball, fascinating life, and there's so much I want to touch on. So let's start currently, which you know, as I mentioned in the intro, October fourteenth is Indigenous People's Day, So is this a special time for you for your family.

00:01:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is. I think you know, as you mentioned, it is Indigenous People's Day, but we kind of always say it's always a good day to be Indigenous. We're very proud of where we come from, and whenever you have that day to just bring celebration to your culture and where you come from, I think, you know, it's a day that you have a lot of proudness of where who you are and the community that supported you. And going in Indigenous people days, you know, you just feel that extra happiness in the day. You're just excited and you're like, today's going to be a good day. You know.

00:01:32
Speaker 1: How do you guys celebrate?

00:01:34
Speaker 2: There's different ways because all tribes are different. But I'm from the Shine River La Culta tribe, so some days, you know, it's not like a huge, big celebration, you know, like it would be like a winter equinox or like a summer solstice or something. But basically, I mean, I know, for me personally, I always try to wear like indigenous clothing or like I'm making sure to support Indigenous brands, or especially when I'm looking into like the social media aspect of it, you're making sure that you're uplifting other artists or artisans or people small businesses that are Indigenous, and it's really just a day to celebrate everything that we are and everything that we are working towards. And so that's kind of the big way we celebrate. My partner is always telling me, he's like, hey, you know, it's Sympigenous People's Day, like celebrate happy and it's really nice. So yeah, it's pretty there's not a big celebration, but it's just a day to bring awareness and education to everyone that might not know as much about it.

00:02:32
Speaker 1: Now, you said that you're part of the Cheyenne Lakota tribe. I also read it's a Cheyenne River Sioux tribe is also another name for it. So can you get a little background on your tribe? Are there any traditions that you specifically celebrate.

00:02:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I am from the Shine River Sioux tribe. The Sioux is kind of like the Great Sioux Nation is a lot of people know it, but I often reference Shine River La Kota tribe just because geographically and historically it's a little let's say, I guess more accurate to like where we come from. So I am from Rapid City, South Dakota, from the Paha Sappa, which is the Black Hills of of South Dakota. And I am In and I have I'm from the traditional lands of the Ocheti Shakuwein, which is the Seven Council Fires. And there are different tribes spread out through kind of that northern area of the plains in the US. And there's three traditional tribes. There's the Dakota, Lakota, and Dakota. They're all very close to each other, but the Lakota is my tribe. And yeah, there's just different ceremonies that we have. You know, in the summers, we're always going to pow wows. We're making sure that we're really taking part in celebrating our culture and seeing the traditional dances with fancy dance. I never grew up dancing. I was kind of separated and apart from that, but I have a lot of friends that dance, and we're always it's just really a big community gathering for us to come together and to celebrate one another as well as you know, as I mentioned, we kind of do like the summer or the summer solstice, the winter solstice as well. It's just kind of like a time of transition for us and it's just kind of us paying homage to the world that we live in and the land that we celebrate and everything that we are. And then you know, you have your other ceremonies that are few and further between for me because obviously I'm over in France. But you can go into traditional lodge sweats where you go as like a cleansing as well as going to you know where you're just doing some smudging and prayers, which is mostly what I do here, where I just have traditional medicines such as sage or a bear root and you're just burning it and you know, you're cleansing your area. It's kind of like a similar equivalent of like saying prayer, but it's your version of just giving thanks and kind of reconnecting with your ancestors.

00:04:56
Speaker 1: I love that.

00:04:57
Speaker 2: Now.

00:04:57
Speaker 1: You said that he grew up not dancing, So what was it like growing up for you? Were you connected to your tribe or were you kind of doing other things?

00:05:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we were really connected to my tribe. Both my parents are from indigenous heritage as well. The reservation that my father grew up on was three hours east of where I grew up, but I grew up I guess they would call me an urban native, is what they say, is because I grew up in the city off of reservation, just because you know, the jobs were a lot more available in Rapid City. So as much as I wasn't as close to my culture, like directly geographically, there was still a massive Native community in my town. And my parents did a really good job at instilling the ethics and morals of what it meant to be an Indigenous person, specifically an Indigenous woman in our culture. And you know, they always brought us to powow Was. They always made sure that we are around other Lakota elders that were able to share knowledge with us. Because my grandparents passed before I was born, I think, so I didn't really have that type of knowledge coming down to me. But my parents did a very good job at making sure that we knew where we came from and were able to celebrate that.

00:06:14
Speaker 1: So when and how did volleyball get into your life?

00:06:17
Speaker 2: Yeah? So I I kind of participated in all sports. I you know, I was in gymnastics, which once I hit a certain height, they were like, this is just not going to work anymore, which I think was probably about first or second grade, I participated in soccer and basketball, and it volleyball actually wasn't really on my radar. Basketball is more of the sport that's big in like tribal communities, and that was really my interest since third grade and on. But I think I hit eighth grade and my basketball coach was like, hey, you're actually pretty good on your like layup. You might be pretty good at volleyball because in our school the volleyball coach and the basketball coach were the same, So he's like, you should just let's just try you out for the volleyball team. And of course I was like, the more sports I can play, the more I'm involved. You know, I love track and field, so I decided to give it a shot, and it just so happened that it ended up being the one sport that kind of stuck with everything, and that it was just naturally better at and that it kind of just made like the decision for me moving on to college and high school a lot easier. But yeah, it actually wasn't my main sport in the beginning. I was like, I we'll do it for fun. And now you know, almost how many years later, eighteen and I'm in France, and I've had this whole lifetime of volleyball behind me. So yeah, it's been a really really interesting journey, especially with how it started.

00:07:45
Speaker 1: That's amazing. There are so many volleyball players I feel like who started out in gymnasticly Jordan Larson.

00:07:50
Speaker 2: Wanted to be a genius.

00:07:51
Speaker 1: Annie Drew's was like a competitive dancer and a cheerleader. I started in gymnastics. I just heard. I read that Merit Beeson on Nebraska wanted to play like she was a gymnast, and then so she's I was like, oh my gosh, we were all gymnasts. That's just gymnasts.

00:08:06
Speaker 2: And they're like, no, no, no, yeah exactly.

00:08:11
Speaker 1: Now you went to San Diego. So was that a big decision for you to leave South Dakota to go all the way to San Diego or was this something that a lot of kids in your high school were doing.

00:08:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it wasn't of the norm, I will say, because I'd say there were very select few of us that actually went further out of state. You know, you'd go to like the neighboring states or maybe like Denver, Montana, like Wyoming. A lot of people stayed in state but I had always known my two criteria was that I wanted to go West Coast and that I wanted to go Top twenty five Division one. And it was a bit easier for me to decide West Coast and to move because my sisters had been attending college for the past two years when I got to San Diego in northern in California, in Stanford and at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music, So it was really easy for me to make that decision to kind of migrate over to be closer to my sisters, and my parents were already taking trips up and down California anyway, and it kind of just the opportunity arose. So I was like, I would be crazy not to move to, you know, San Diego and soak up the sun a little bit and especially change I think the dynamic of volleyball, because it was a completely different world when I got to California compared to South Dakota. It was like a completely different level really truly. So it was it was easy in the moment, obviously, just with the you know, you're eighteen, you're moving really far from home. It it has its normal things you have to work out anyway, But yeah, no, I loved it so much.

00:09:51
Speaker 1: So and at what point did you realize you wanted to go pro?

00:09:56
Speaker 2: You know? I actually, once again I kind of all these opportunit who's kind of fell into like my lap a bit. But I think it was because it was in twenty seventeen when I graduated and my coach asked me Brett Hilliard. He is now the coach of San Diego State University, but he was my assistant at USD. Brilliant guy. He went to the Olympics one bronze. He's amazing. He was in practice one day and just like randomly looked at me and was like, so, do you think you want to play pro? And I was like what, Like what are you talking about? Because at this time, like I had no idea. You know, there wasn't a pro league in the US other than the national team and all those girls played overseas. But I wasn't aware of this. I had no idea that you could actually make money and play pro and like, you know, be competitive. It was just not something that was on my radar. And I was like, what are you talking about, Like, what do you mean play pro? He's like, do you want to keep playing, and I was like, yeah, I love volleyball. Why wouldn't I? And he was like, Lauren, there are so many leagues, so many levels there, like the whole world is before you to keep playing if you want it. And so I think that kind of got the gears moving a little bit. And then once I hit December of my senior year, right when I finished that tournament, my agent reached out. My non agent at the time reached out to me and he was like, Hi, my name's Ryan j Owens, like, is this something you're interested in? And I was like, Wow, I'm really hearing this a lot. And I think in that moment, I was like, why wouldn't I at least try to keep playing? You know, it's a sport that I love. If you get the chance to move over to a different country, like, why wouldn't you at least try to do that experience? And yeah, I think within the first I think I was picked up in April, like about four months after in my spring season, I was like, all right, we're moving to France. So it all kind of fell into place. So I'd say around my junior senior is when I really was like this could actually be a real option for me.

00:12:01
Speaker 1: Was it a tough decision? I mean, I know, going from South Dakota to California is a big decision. But you said your sisters were already there. Now all of a sudden, you're moving to a completely different continent country. Was that hard for you and your family?

00:12:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean in the like, when I looked at it in hein or like, you know, just directly, I was like, oh, yeah, great, friends, like, let's just be a world traveler. But then when you get there, You're like, wow, I do not speak the language. I know nobody here there. Luckily for me, there was I think three other Americans on my team, so like there was some common ground there and there was like a built in support system. But it was truly, I think one of the hardest years of my life. I had this idea of what it meant to play pro and when I got there, I was just so mentally like out of my league. I was really lost. I felt like they're really despite having you know, my friends and my teammates there, it was still really isolating and they were going through the same thing. So you guys are kind of going back and forth about how sad you're feeling and how much you're grieving being away from home, and I actually was like, you know, this pro life is not for me. I think I'm going to be done. I think I'm going to call it quits. This is just not something I'm interested in. And I had full intention of quitting after my first year and coming home and just saying, you know, I tried it and it didn't work out, and I'm I'm okay with that because I know at least I gave it a shot, and then obviously that didn't happen. I can't blame but yeah, that first year it was. I think it was just that complete loss and isolation of just feeling completely alone despite you being in this wonderful place, and it was it was a really really tough period for me. Truthfully.

00:13:56
Speaker 1: How did you overcome that?

00:13:58
Speaker 2: I think it was you know, I am very close with my family, so I was onto the phone to them every single day. My agent, he was a really really big invaluable resource that I had because he was the type of agent that wasn't just like all right, here's a contract, it's finished. He was for first year rookies. He demanded or asked that we send in like updates every Sunday and just about how we're feeling, how we're doing, or every two weeks, and then he would give us that time to be like this is completely normal because he was a pro athlete as well. So you had my agent, you had my friends there, you had my family. And then when I got home at the end of the season, I was finally like, Okay, yes, I don't want to subject myself to that type of turmoil again. It's just not something I'm interested in. But that's when I had the Indigenous branch of Nike. Nike and seven reached out to me and they were like, listen, we would love to sign you for two years, but you have to be an athlete, and who am I to say noes? So like an opportunity like that, So I was like, you know, maybe I I've had hard times in San Diego as well. You know, I was able to kind of reference back that isolation and that feeling and how to get through that. So I was like, let's just maybe let's change teams, Let's try a different coach, Let's try a different team. Let's just you know, get myself in a different space to see if it gets a little bit better. And it did, and it just kind of stuck, and I went on for another four years and here we are now.

00:15:50
Speaker 1: There have been many famous Indigenous you know, athletes. Jim Thorpe is probably the biggest name that people know. So how did the Indigenous community support you in your volleyball career?

00:16:03
Speaker 2: Yeah? I really could not ask for anything better than for how they treated me so kindly. I think the best thing about the Indigenous community is it's not just your tribe and that's the end all be all. It's that you know, people from New Zealand and Australia and from Pacific Islanders in Samoa, like everyone understands kind of the same, like the same sense of community that we have, that sense of kinship. And so whenever I was going through San Diego, it was like this overwhelming feeling of like we're really proud of you. Go make something of yourself. You know, they were just there. You're bringing representation to your community on a larger scale. So to be able to do that just it made it easier. That was another reason I was able to get through it, because I had motivation beyond my own goals. I was representing something so much larger than myself. And so when I was in that first year getting messages from community members that were like, Hey, I know you don't know me, but I am so proud of you, and we are just so excited to see you representing yourself, your indigenous identity on the university scale or on a professional scale. It made it so much easier for me to just take that time to process what I wanted to do and realize that I had people behind me and that I wasn't alone in this battle of my mind or whatever it was at that time. So they were and to this day, even to this day, I just have an endless support system where I can reach out to people that I've met once and it's like you're coming home.

00:17:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing. That's so great to have.

00:17:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:17:44
Speaker 1: Now, I read that based on a study in twenty twenty one. So the status from twenty twenty one that only out of all the volleyball players, only zero point three percent of them are Native Americans or Alaska Natives. To the best of your knowledge, can you explain why that number is so low?

00:18:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, So, I think there's a lot of different contributing factors when you look at why there isn't as many athletes or representation in these spaces. I think one of them is just the obvious reason that volleyball isn't as popular in Indigenous communities as let's say, lacrosse or basketball, and it's now just started kind of making its popularity a little bit larger on these communities. But when it comes down to it, I really think and I don't know if accessibility is the right word, but it is a word that can be used because I would say the accessibility for the sport in itself, the accessibility to reach camps and different programs that can help them be recruited or be scouted, is very difficult to come by, especially when you get into these really isolated communities. I do camps in the summers when I go on different tribal land and different nations. I've done a couple in Canada where I'm on these reservations hosting this camp and they're telling me like, oh, this is the first volleyball camp we've ever had, and I'm like, what, why is that? Like why is that the case? And they're just saying, well, you know, it costs a lot of money. To First of all, financially, it's kind of a burden to have to get the travel, the lodging, the you know, the money to be able to feed yourselves on these trips, and that's you know, I know, we struggled to financially get me myself through club volleyball for a while because it is expensive to be able to have yourself seen in big tournaments. You know, you have the jerseys, everything, so financially it is hard to like get past that and for yourself to be able to be seen. And then on top of that, which I think is something we could do better as a community of volleyball in general, is get more college coaches and recruiters to these smaller communities because it's not a lack of athletes that is our problem, and like talented athletes that are that is our problem. Because I see a lot of them when I'm coaching. I'm like, Wow, you could be playing D two, D one, you could definitely be playing in college. And the only reason that they're not is because they're not being seen. And that comes with the accessibility, the convenience of going to a tournament for college coaches where you're seeing you know, thousands of athletes in one place, but then there are people that you're obviously missing out because they're not able to be there. So I think that's something we can do better as a community, is just being able to seek out those places that are a little bit off the map and give the Indigenous community a chance to really shine and represent themselves. Because, as I said, it's not a lack of athletes, it's really not. It's really just multiple factors that are kind of causing us to go under the radar a little bit.

00:20:50
Speaker 1: Now, volleyball is the fastest growing sport for girls in high school. So since you started doing these camps to today, have you noticed an increase in popularity the sport in the Indigenous community, especially as someone who can represent them and show what's out there.

00:21:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I definitely have. I think my first year, you know, you never knew because I'm always like listen, when I run the camps, I always tell the coordinators or the like tribal council that's holding me, I'm like, listen, we don't know how many people are going to show up. It could be two girls, it could be twenty five, it could be forty. And I was like it just depends like on that time how we advertise it. But I think in the first couple of years we had like a pretty average turnout of you know, like let's say like eight to twenty ish people I usually do grades from I think it's like sixth grade up until senior year, and the younger group we've really had very small numbers. You'd maybe get like two to maybe eight athletes in that smaller group, and then you'd see the high school girls who are already playing. But now the camps that I've been running, you know, you're getting into like the thirties and the forties, and now I have to start bringing an assistant code with me because if I get there and I won't be only one coach, then I'm not giving them the type of attention that they need to really learn and benefit from the camp. So I've definitely seen an increase in tribal communities, and I'm seeing that it's not so basketball like faced anymore. I have so many more people reaching out to me, and people that I know that want to go play in college. They're telling me like, oh, my sister really hopes that you're coming back because now she wants to play volleyball, and like my cousins want to play volleyball. So it has definitely gotten a lot bigger, which is really exciting to see because, as I said, like these athletes, they're up and coming and they're really good, and I'm excited to see kind of how they progress over the years just working with them.

00:22:42
Speaker 1: So what lessons have you learned growing up that helped you as a volleyball player and that you kind of pass on to these younger athletes as well.

00:22:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think it's easy in the sense of that my family, as I mentioned, was really good about teaching us our culture, and that's kind of always what it's rooted in, right, Like that's kind of the foundation of everything that I lead with with my intentions and the things that I do. I'm like, how does this benefit me as a character? Like what is this? How is this making me better? And a lot the one that I always come back to is we have these Lakota teachings. That's like being a good relative, you know, just kind of like morals that help you get through life of being a good person. But the biggest one that I was taught and that my mother really really instilled in me that I always bring to the camps is to remain humble. So it's always about never becoming bigger than I think what you think you are or what you want to be, and always remembering that to stay grounded and where you're at right that like the balance is kind of in that heart of the humility and the confidence and self is what I always say to the girls, because you know, even regardless of how much success you have, you have to remember where you came from, who was there when they were supporting you at your lowest, who was there when you weren't this successful, and so kind of remaining humble and checking myself in those moments is something that really really helped me throughout my career and to this day. Is something that I teach my athletes. And I was going to say girls and two spirit, but actually I've been getting some young boys coming into my camps now too, so that's also kind of a plus as I'm starting to get my first male athletes coming into the camps, which is really cool.

00:24:31
Speaker 1: I love that. Keep spreading the love of the game.

00:24:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, exactly.

00:24:37
Speaker 1: Well, speaking of being humble, in twenty twenty three, you were inducted in the Indigenous Hall of Fame. So can you walk us through the moment you got the call about that and the emotions you felt.

00:24:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, I mean I'm smiling about it. I'm like, be humble and then let me tell you about this. No, but it was. It was a really surreal moment for me. Actually with the the athletes that I was inducted with, like my mentor Jim Warren, he was a football player who played in the NFL and he was inducted in the same year as me. Jane Casnavoid the track and field star that is just a legend on TikTok and she's super successful, and I remember, I think it was actually an email and it was like, we'd love to induct you into the Hall of Fame for Indigenous Athletes and I was like no, It's like, no, this isn't real. And I think the best part about it was that it was really healing for me because the way I ended my career when I decided to retire at that moment, I think it was like a year and a half before, was not the most grace graceful type of way to end a career. There was a lot of pain and a lot of grief coming with me ending my career and choosing to snap. So I think I had a lot of conflicted feet about volleyball. I kind of turned my back on it. I was like, this is not for me. Am I going to find love for the game again? And then when that email came in, it was like, this is why you loved playing like it kind of brought me back to the reason why I started playing, why I loved it, why I continue to do it for so long despite a lot of the kind of hardships that I had, And it was just a moment for me that was like not the I made it moment, but it was a moment that was like your efforts didn't go to waste because you did work really hard and you did do so much to get to this point, and for that to be recognized, especially on an Indigenous Hall of Fame, is just like the most fulfilling feeling that you can have.

00:26:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's something you should definitely be proud of and feel so accomplished, and you know that's amazing and it's it's funny. I was actually like looking at the website at all the athletes, which, by the way, you are the main photo for when you want to click on the athletes page, it's you all right, but you know, yeah exactly, speaking of humble again.

00:27:06
Speaker 2: Right, bring it back.

00:27:09
Speaker 1: But when I was looking at the athletes on the page, there are so many of them. So what does it mean to you to see that there are so many accomplished Indigenous athletes out there?

00:27:22
Speaker 2: It's just it's that same feeling of just being whole and to see ourselves in these spaces is something that growing up people always ask me, was like, oh, who is your Indigenous like, you know, like idle, who was it that you were looking at? And it was hard Like obviously, like I said, I had Jim Thorpe, but growing up, especially in the area that I was in, I didn't have that many like role models that were athletes to look up to because it just wasn't you weren't seeing them in like the media. You weren't seeing them being represented in these spaces. So my sisters were my role models. But then when I was inducted and I saw the list because we're all on the email later for uh, I think it was the banquet to come together, I was like, wow, like, look at all of these people that are just succeeding and excelling in their sport exactly how it should be, because you know, you grow up knowing how capable your community is, but that's not being reflected in certain spaces and being represented, you know, on a larger scale, and to see that happen is just the most rewarding feeling.

00:28:35
Speaker 1: And now I was also looking at the athletes and you are only one of three volleyball players on their women volleyball players specifically it's you, Jamie Menzies and Renelle Jones. So knowing that there's only three Indigenous volleyball players women volleyball players, what kind of goes through your mind when you hear that?

00:28:55
Speaker 2: I think it's it's surprising to me because I remember when I thought about it, and as you said, there there's not as many of us. There's like a very small percentage that make up the world of volleyball, And you know, I think that mentality of, like, listen, there's always going to be those people that kind of have to break those barriers down in the beginning to make space for other people to come in. You know, there's definitely a lot of more Indigenous athletes coming up, especially in the world of volleyball. So I think it's it's hard to imagine because I'm like, there's only that many of us, Like, why aren't there more, because I know there's so many great athletes, But you know, it's just you know it's coming. It's one of those things that you're like, it's going to take a little bit longer, but I know we're not going to be the last. And I just know that that number is going to increase year by year, and it's going to be really cool to see that transition from being such a small number to something that's so much more.

00:30:06
Speaker 1: So You've been able to take your status as a volleyball player and transform it into other things. So you're a Healing the Globe ambassador for the Red Ribbon Skirt Society. Can you explain what the Red Ribbon Skirt Society is and what your role is as an ambassador.

00:30:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, So, the Red Ribbon Skirt Society is a Indigenous created, women led society in my hometown of Rapid City, South Dakota, and it basically is a space that supports and educates and brings awareness to the epidemic of missing, murdered Indigenous women girls and two spirit people, and there's just a plethora of things that they do. So you see the education, you see the awareness, but they organize protests and marches and things to help people bring awareness to what this is. And I'll explain it in a second. But on top of that, they're also supporting families that have been affected by these tragic events that have happened within our communities. And whether that be helping pay for funeral costs or helping to donate items for kids that are left motherless or aunt lists or whatever it may be, they are there to be that system of support to help you get through that grief and that pain of this epidemic and what it is is it's exactly what it says is missing and murdered Indigenous women. Indigenous women, girls and too spare are ten times the national average, more likely to be murdered than any other race. So we always say like we as a culture have a target on our back, like coming out into the world, we have a target on our back because of these statistics and what we as Indigenous women are going through with domestic violence, sexual violence. So that's what the Red Ribbon Skirts Society is really working towards is making a space for us to feel safe and a space for us to feel supported despite those things that we've gone through. And as a Healing the Globe Ambassador, my role was to support the society in whichever way I could, So whether that was we planted a community garden when I was back home, or I donated like a textile art piece to one of their silent auctions during the Red Ribbon Gala, or the biggest component that it was was bringing awareness of the m MIIW epidemic on an international scale, because at this time when I was brought on as an ambassador, I was in France, So that was me mostly bringing attention to this issue on a global scale, which could be really difficult sometimes when you're trying to translate such sensitive information and because you want it to be impactful, you want it to be being truthful, but then you have to be sensitive to how you're translating it. So that's why I was brought on, was mostly on the international kind of global scale, to bring education to different communities that maybe didn't know what was happening within our indigenous communities.

00:33:23
Speaker 1: When you were in France, were people aware of what was going on.

00:33:28
Speaker 2: No. So the way I actually got started in my activism was I saw Rosalie Fish, who is a long distance runner. They wore the red hand print, so you might see some imagery of the red hand prints for MMIW, which is basically symbolizing red is the color that the spirits can see and putting it over our mouths symbolizes like the voice that was taken away from us to speak for ourselves. And so I saw Rosalie running I think it was an estate track meet, and they were wearing the handprint on their face, so it was like sports activism, and I remember just thinking like why, like what is stopping me from doing that? Because I was really trying to find meaning at that time of like why am I still doing this? How can I still serve my community without just being so geographically far away? And this is how it kind of got started of I mean, in France, they didn't have any idea that this was happening to indigenous communities. They said they really respect and love our communities. But when I brought these issues up, they were like, that can't be happening, like not even not today, And I was like, but it is, it really is so I think the first year, first two years were pretty hard to convince people that this was happening to us. So we were doing a lot of groundwork of just trying to educate, give the historical context of why this is happening, and then on top of that it is just purely bringing awareness to it. So I would wear athletic strap on my hand with a name of a woman or a girl or two spirit person that went missing that week, or I would highlight their story for each match and give kind of their voice, like the chance to speak through social media and through the matches. And then it was received really well after the first couple of years, and that's when the French community actually said like, this is something in our community that we're being affected by, is domestic violence in the home towards women? How can we help? And then they ended up doing podcasts and helping me make a video on it and getting out in the newspapers. So it took some time to get there for people to I think adjust and to understand the dynamics of what it meant. And then after that they realized like what can we do? What is how do we help to fight this cause?

00:35:57
Speaker 1: That's great that they rallied behind it real quick. You mentioned two spirit person a few times. Can you just explain what that is for people who might not know?

00:36:05
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, of course. So a two spirit person is I would say it's probably like the equivalent of non binary, but in historical context, it's where you don't associate with just female or male. You are neither, but then you are both simultaneously. So it's as if you have those two spirits within you, you don't identify as either one, and so we call them two spirits because historically it's something that's very prevalent in our culture, where people have, you know, they have the masculine and the feminine, and that equilibrium inside yourself that has both.

00:36:41
Speaker 1: I love that phrase to spirit Yeah right, yeah, it's a beautiful phrase. So you retired then from volleyball in June of twenty twenty twenty two. Sorry, Yes, How hard was it to make that decision? And what led you to the decision?

00:37:01
Speaker 2: Yeah? So, yeah, it is very hard, and people that I know, I'm very open and I'm very transparent with what I you know, tell people why I retired. And unfortunately it was one of those circumstances where my last season. It was just mentally it became a little bit too much for people who don't play professional volleyball. Depending on the team that you're in and the people that are coaching you and your support support system that you have around you, that can really make or break kind of the psyche. And unfortunately, my situation was one where it was just not a cohesive, healthy, supportive relationship that I was having like a lot of other girls on the team with our like some of our coaching staff, and it became more about like controlling our bodies, and it just kind of got to the point where I was like, I feel like a machine. I don't feel like a human anymore. I feel like I'm being used, you know, where people are like, this is your job, this is what you need to do, which I totally understand it was my job at the time. But I played because I loved it. That's why I continued it. And when that started to slip and it got covered up by all of this like negative body image and this mental struggle just between you know, my I guess at the time superior. I was like I am. I don't know how old I was at the time, twenty six maybe, and I was like, I'm twenty six years old. I don't want to be dealing with these types of feelings and I don't want to be confronting all of these things that I shouldn't be confronted with as a woman in sport. I'm doing my job, I'm playing well, but that's not being valued. And when I'm not being valued anymore, then that's not something I'm going to be interested. And so that's why I said earlier. I think I mentioned when I got inducted. It was kind of a painful process for me to decide to retire because it was getting to a point where I was like, am I wishing for injury? Like, oh my gosh, should be so much easier if like I got a week off, like if I just got a break, because like you know, I just like tripped or something. And when I got to that point, I was like, something is seriously wrong. I can't continue this way. This is just not sustainable for me, for my body, for my mental health anymore. And so I decided to stop playing and retire, which was really hard to come to terms with because you know a lot of people sometimes they have a choice, sometimes they don't have a choice, but I kind of felt like I was stuck in the middle because I technically did choose, but it wasn't because something that I wanted to choose, but it's something that I felt at the time. So that's kind of how I came to that. And I swore I was never going to play again. I was like, I'm done with volleyball. I don't love it anymore. I hate it. It's done, it's finished. And now I'm playing for a second league team in France, and I'm like, do I come back to playing pro? Like I'm I'm playing with the idea a little bit. And it's been a really nice transition of refinding that purpose and love for volleyball, because it really wasn't like that. It was really painful to even watch a match the first year after I retired. But we're coming back and I'm finding the joy in it again, which is really nice.

00:40:15
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that. That's nothing. I mean, no one should have to go through that, but unfortunately, I feel like, especially women have to go through that a lot about this whole body stigma how you should look and on the court or you know, and all this kind of stuff. One, it should be about the love of the game and you wanting to play and you wanting to win and you want your team to win.

00:40:36
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's.

00:40:38
Speaker 1: Sad that that's the thing. But I'm so happy to hear that, you know, yeah, break kind of it was good for you mentally because you're back.

00:40:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, exactly. I was like, even if I would have gone to a different team, I think that break was necessary because obviously I had that first season where I wasn't feeling it, and then I had that last season. So and you see, like even you know, like some Moiles, like so many people have taken like mental health breaks now, which I think is so nice and refreshing to see because for a long time you didn't see that, and then unfortunately you'd see a lot of people struggling with that by themselves. And I love that we're in that place now where we can just respect ourselves enough to be like, you know what, No, we're not going to do this for other people. This is this is us, this is our life. So we're going to take that break. And then once you get in that healthy place, you're like, all right, I'm back, Like I'm back baby, we're you know, we're going. And I've really enjoyed finding that love of the sport again, especially at like a higher level, because I was like, I don't know if I can come back. It's been two and a half seasons. It's a long time to be off from player playing because I really did not touch a volleyball like i'd do my camps, but barely. I would touch a volleyball like I would do it for work, and then I would not get anywhere near it. And now it's kind of my life again, and especially with love and all of these new like things coming up and representation of volleyball coming in the USA, I'm like, I just wouldn't want to just be sitting aside being docile, like not being a part of something so monumentous and huge, you know.

00:42:16
Speaker 1: M hm for sure, I'm so glad that you're back.

00:42:20
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:42:21
Speaker 1: But aside from volleyball, you also you do your own textiles, correct, yes, yea, So tell me tell me about this business that you have.

00:42:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I actually started it my last season kind of when I was going through that mental I was like, I just need to find something that's going to make me happy, and something that's gonna kind of allow me to go into my own place, whether it's writing, painting, whatever. And I had seen tufting, which is like rug making on TikTok, and I remember I went to my boyfriend at the time and I was like, I think I want to buy like a rug making gun, and he was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, I think, I think I'm going to get one, and I just had it sent to my house and it just became this thing where I now make rugs and textile work. I just received like an art award, which is crazy for my first market. Yeah, thank you. But it was a way for me to reconnect to that community because that last year, I feel like I kind of was stripped of that with the indigenous community. I got a bit lost, and that's why I think I had such a hard time with it. But the rug making really gave me that sense of purpose again of feeling close with my family and my community because it's called with chalkby Rugs and Textiles, which means star in La Kota. And the whole thing was to recreate like indigenous designs for rugs and for textile work to be in people's homes to remind them of our history and to tell our stories and for a way of, you know, our Indigenous community to be able to represent ourselves in these spaces.

00:44:00
Speaker 1: I love that. Is there a website that people can visit to check out your stuff?

00:44:06
Speaker 2: So I'm mostly on I do everything by social media right now, so on Facebook and Instagram it's just with chalkby rugs and textiles.

00:44:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, awesome, definitely take a Yeah, of course, thank you. Are there any websites or hashtags that you want to promote so that we can educate ourselves who you know, so that we know and understand more.

00:44:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I think hashtags like Indigenous People's Day is a big one. I think if you guys follow Indigenous People's Day or same with MMIW, because this is something that needs more attention brought to it. Hashtag MMIW, hashtag no More Stolen Sisters. There's also hashtag National Day of Awareness, which is the residential schools And yeah, I think hashtag Indigenous People's Day will get you the broad spectrum of all of those things. But that's kind of the big one. I'm just thinking a few off my head for Instagram, like seeding Sovereignty is a really good resource for information Indigenous intentions. I believe it is. There's Seeing Red Media, and those are a few just off the top of my head that I can think of right now, but yeah, they're really good resources to follow to kind of keep up with the indigenous communities, to kind of just educate you a little bit.

00:45:25
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Lauren. It's been an absolute pleasure speaking with you about your life, your career, your background, your community, everything. So thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me.

00:45:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, and honestly, thank you so much for just highlighting my story and giving me the platform to speak at this level with you guys and once again being part of something of giving Indigenous people the voice to be heard, and that's something really special, So thank you.

00:45:55
Speaker 1: Serving Pancakes is an iheartwomen's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Production by League one Volleyball, I'm your host, Tiffany Oshinsky. Anya Alvarez is our senior producer. Our executive producers are Carrie Stett, Tamaradiki and Lindsay Hoffman. Our marketing lead is Juwora Parker. Sound mixing by Daniel Gonzalez. Our theme music is Pancakes by Eric W. Mast Junior Special thanks to Lauren Chad. Stay tuned for another episode of Serving Pancakes. Thanks for listening.