TLFX-Games: 'Stone Cold v. Lord Al'

<v Speaker 1>Well, we're finally here at long last. It's been a
<v Speaker 1>bevy of hilarity and insight from the participants in the
<v Speaker 1>many encounters of the tlf X Games tournament. It's the
<v Speaker 1>tournament to decide King of the Cast, the greatest character
<v Speaker 1>in the history of the laps Fan Podcast. It's been
<v Speaker 1>a wonderful series of interviews and insights from thirty of
<v Speaker 1>our top competitors, thirty of the first round draftees. We're
<v Speaker 1>about to hear from the final to you here, and
<v Speaker 1>we certainly have enjoyed completely aggravating to people who think
<v Speaker 1>the imitations are the worst part of the laps Fan
<v Speaker 1>Wrestling Podcast, which, of course, without the imitations, we wouldn't
<v Speaker 1>be here after ten years. So we thank you in
<v Speaker 1>equal parts for the hate lessons as much as for
<v Speaker 1>the love. And in that spirit, there couldn't be anybody
<v Speaker 1>who brings more hate and venom to the table when
<v Speaker 1>he steps in front of a camera. Stone Cold Steve Austin,
<v Speaker 1>the all time great, is here as well as Lord
<v Speaker 1>Alfred Hayes, my longtime compatriot in the WWA. I have
<v Speaker 1>home video announced booth and in this Colisseum exclusive. Looking
<v Speaker 1>forward to seeing Lord Al again as the TLFX Games
<v Speaker 1>continue to roll out the final first round matchup. The
<v Speaker 1>final first round encounter here between Austin and Lord Al Hayes.
<v Speaker 1>We do remind you, of course, the TLFX Games is
<v Speaker 1>brought to you by our friends at Garage Beer, small
<v Speaker 1>Batch Light Beer. The garage is always open, and let's
<v Speaker 1>open it up now to the Texas Rattlesnake Stone Cold
<v Speaker 1>Steve Austin.
<v Speaker 2>I'm sitting here at the house. I got the remote
<v Speaker 2>control in my hand. I'm thinking to myself, hell Son,
<v Speaker 2>it's been quite a while since Stone Cold Steve Austin
<v Speaker 2>has found himself in a goddamn tournament. And I'm looking up.
<v Speaker 2>I'm looking down. I'm looking ten by twenty, I'm looking
<v Speaker 2>thirty by forty. I'm looking at thirty two names on
<v Speaker 2>this sun. Bitch, I just, you know, patted my cat.
<v Speaker 2>I'll put my cat on TikTok, damn it. And after
<v Speaker 2>I put my tack on whatever the hell it is.
<v Speaker 2>After I put my cat on TikTok, I thought to myself,
<v Speaker 2>you know what other pussies do I know? And I said,
<v Speaker 2>Lord Al, hey's you British sign off up yet? I'm
<v Speaker 2>looking at your beat a little eyes sign, Judo al Hayes.
<v Speaker 2>I know Al Hayes. Fuck Judo al Haes, I know
<v Speaker 2>al Hayes sign. And You're really starting to piss me off.
<v Speaker 2>I'm looking up and down, left and right here in
<v Speaker 2>the podcast. We offered snacks in the mail for years
<v Speaker 2>with our partners of podcast one. I had a lot
<v Speaker 2>of fun sitting down and chopping it up down at
<v Speaker 2>the ranch Broken Skull Ranch. I cracked them open with
<v Speaker 2>the best of them, but never got a chance to
<v Speaker 2>sit across from the table from you and hell Son
<v Speaker 2>spent a long time from flame broiled gimmicks, the TLFX
<v Speaker 2>game gimmicks. It's been a long road for Stone Cold
<v Speaker 2>Steve Austin. But I'm not thinking at ending here. I'm
<v Speaker 2>not thinking it's ending with a broken skull ipa. I'm
<v Speaker 2>not thinking attending with the dam. I'm Steve Wiser, sure
<v Speaker 2>as hell, not ending with that Stone Cold beer, that
<v Speaker 2>that fucking hulk Cogan gimmick beer. I see you on
<v Speaker 2>the bracket sign. We never got our chance to mix
<v Speaker 2>it up. Am I looking past Lord al Hayes. Hell Yeah,
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna stump a mud hole in his ass. It's
<v Speaker 2>gonna be looking like a pepper pig puddle by the
<v Speaker 2>time it's over. And when I stand up, Son, and
<v Speaker 2>I flip a double bird to the entire solar system.
<v Speaker 2>Who forgets that? In so many ways, this started not
<v Speaker 2>when Vince McMahon started having his voice heard on the cast,
<v Speaker 2>but when I invited him on my damn podcast and
<v Speaker 2>we got to the bottom of who lapsed Vince was.
<v Speaker 2>And I see you in that next round, Son, And
<v Speaker 2>there's perhaps nothing more appropriate I can think of then
<v Speaker 2>facing off with my arch nemesis, Vince McMahon one more time,
<v Speaker 2>except this time I got a whole lot more intel
<v Speaker 2>on you, Son, and the whole world knows a whole
<v Speaker 2>lot more about what kind of piece of trash you
<v Speaker 2>really were. And Stone Cold Steve Austin looks forward to
<v Speaker 2>laying down the dossier on everybody else in this damn tournament,
<v Speaker 2>each one I face. We know a hell a lot
<v Speaker 2>more about him now than we did when Stone Cold
<v Speaker 2>Steve Austin first faced across in the ring from him,
<v Speaker 2>Lord Al Hayes, your next, you stupid bitch. I'm gonna
<v Speaker 2>fucking destroy you, Son, and I'll see you next round
<v Speaker 2>and beyond it's nineteen ninety six all over against son
<v Speaker 2>laps Fan three sixteen. I'm gonna whip that ass.
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure how he's gonna come back from that one.
<v Speaker 1>But we will now earn it over to my longtime
<v Speaker 1>broadcast colleague. But I won't be by his side when
<v Speaker 1>it comes to this match up with Steve Austin. Lord
<v Speaker 1>Alfred Hayes.
<v Speaker 3>Well, you know stone cold Steve Austin, I I don't
<v Speaker 3>um you know. Well you talked about broken skulls, and
<v Speaker 3>I suppose maybe I can break your skull again. Man,
<v Speaker 3>it is I broke, I've broken your skull or maybe
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. Like I can tell you one thing
<v Speaker 3>about me that I do hope that during our uh
<v Speaker 3>our engagement that we will have the exquisite of a
<v Speaker 3>camera footage like the Colosseum video camera footage people have
<v Speaker 3>done over the years. And you know you talk about
<v Speaker 3>you talk about your Austin three sixteen. Well, Hayes three
<v Speaker 3>sixteen says promotional consideration is paid for by the following
<v Speaker 3>double dragon. Feel the power of the dragon in double dragon,
<v Speaker 3>and I will double dragon your ass from here to
<v Speaker 3>London and back again. Voting in the tear FX games
<v Speaker 3>is now in tentifively stated to begin August twenty sixth.
<v Speaker 3>Keep it locked to the Lapsed Fans account on x
<v Speaker 3>at the Lapsed Fan for your chance to vote on
<v Speaker 3>who will become King of the Cast.