BONUS: 13 Going on 30 with Christa B. Allen

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, Laala, Hello, gorgeous, Welcome back to the bonus episode of Untraditionally Lala. I have my new bestie, Christi b Allen. Most of you will know her from. Well, you're an actress, You've got many talents. We talked about all of it on the regular episode that was on Wednesday. So for the bonus because you made your excellent debut on thirteen, going on thirty and then Revenge, which is one of my most favorite series. But thirty, flirty and Thriving. I remember when I turned thirty and I was like, I'm flirty and I'm fucking thriving, and then shortly after my life went to shit. But it's okay as it finds too, Yes, it tends to. So that's one of the most iconic movie lines ever. And I have a list of things that I'm going to ask you, and you're going to tell me which ones you're working on, which ones you're thriving at. And I want to start because if you do this, then I need to set my game up meal prepping on Sundays.

00:01:09
Speaker 2: Oh absolutely not, absolu not are you opposed to it. No, I just personally, I've never been a drawn to meal prepping, Like who wants to eat the same thing every day?

00:01:23
Speaker 1: I don't get the meal prepping. I'm also very weird. I used to be addicted to leftovers, and now if it's not like fresh, then I don't really want Do you cook girl? Now the worse? Can I cook?

00:01:39
Speaker 2: Yes?

00:01:39
Speaker 1: If I have to cook for my family, I can definitely, like do work in the kitchen. I don't enjoy it. And now with Postmates, why would I do something that I don't have to do?

00:01:47
Speaker 2: Sponsored by Postmates?

00:01:49
Speaker 1: Sponsored by the Postmates I wish, hey, yeah, get the plug please sponsor this episode. Do you like eating out? Are you an order in type of chick?

00:01:59
Speaker 2: I listen. If left to my own devices, I would never leave my house, okay, but when friends pull me out of the house, I'm quite happy to be out. Okay. But I love to cook. I just I don't cook a whole lot for just myself.

00:02:13
Speaker 1: Like it is so hard to cook for one person, and then you add kids into the mix and everyone wants something different and it's just like post.

00:02:21
Speaker 2: Mates, that's gotta be hard. Yeah, dating apps definitely not really Is it because you're famous? Oh, it's just I don't know. There's one theory that dating apps mess with the algorithm of the universe, like you're supposed to meet who you're supposed to meet, not force it together.

00:02:41
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so you're more about like the organic connection in person old school.

00:02:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like a magical meet cute, cute, love it. But I also yeah, it's just like overwhelming the apps. I've been on them before, okay, but the apps feel like another inbox that needs tending to. It feels like another task totally. They just start piling up, you know, and you feel bad if you don't respond to them. So it's an unclosed loop in your brain. I don't know, it feels like a task.

00:03:15
Speaker 1: You're right, So then do you tend to be the aggressor or do you fall back? If you're like out at dinner and you see a cute guy across the bar and you're into it, do you give him a look? Do you approach? Do you wait to see if the universe is like wanting this to happen and have him come to you?

00:03:35
Speaker 2: What's the game plan? I have historically never been the aggressor. I don't make any effort whatsoever. I let them come to me, and then they make a massive effort. As we've talked about, wow, and that I thought was working for me, but clearly does not. Okay, So I'm trying to flip that and be a little more of the aggressor. Okay, So I flirted with the guy at a party the other day.

00:04:02
Speaker 1: And how did it go?

00:04:02
Speaker 2: Well, we exchange numbers and then I let him take me to coffee, and that's about as far as we've got enough.

00:04:09
Speaker 1: I'm always the aggressor. Really, don't come to me. If I'm interested, I'll let you know. Otherwise leave me. B How doesn't work out? Not well? A lot of sex is happening, but not much more than that.

00:04:24
Speaker 2: But celibate. I was celibate.

00:04:26
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. I was celibate for quite a bit of time. And then I always tell people cut me some slack because I was also attempting to get pregnant and was pregnant for nine of those months and then postpartum. So people were like, you were celibate for over over a year and a half. I'm like, well, cut me some fucking slack. I was carrying a baby and then who wants to have sex right after.

00:04:54
Speaker 2: They have a baby.

00:04:55
Speaker 1: Nobody? Yeah, so now and what happens with me is like once you rip the band date off, I'm like all in. I'm like, okay, this is fun. Who's next. I'm definitely safe, But I like to be the aggressor because I don't if I'm not into it. I don't want to have to pretend to be nice. Yeah, I will let you know if I'm interested.

00:05:14
Speaker 2: I like the strategy. Yeah, I might start using it. Yeah, you know.

00:05:18
Speaker 1: It's working for now, but the universe is going to do its thing. I have no control over my life. Yes, she'll take care of God. We give it up to God. Nine pm bedtime. I don't need to work on that at all. Yes, my favorite.

00:05:34
Speaker 2: In fact, if you want to flirt with me, tell me you want to be home and in bed by nine pm.

00:05:38
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh so hot, marriage material. If you want to get in bed with me, you know, let's just go really wild. Let's say seven pm, get in the bed, watch our favorite show, and eat Gouda cheese and crackers without spilling a crumb in my fucking bed. Okay, there are rules. There are rules to the fun you are my soulmate.

00:06:01
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, that's hot.

00:06:03
Speaker 1: That's so hot. Hangovers in your thirties.

00:06:07
Speaker 2: Oh no, absolutely not. I had one glass of wine the other night and I was like, no, why why why is your next day?

00:06:15
Speaker 1: For what?

00:06:15
Speaker 2: It's not even that fun.

00:06:17
Speaker 1: I know every time I look at someone and here's where I always get the drooly mouth and not like I'm going to like give in to it, right, but I my mouth will water. If I'm on a rooftop like during the day and someone's like, I'll take a glass of rose, I'm like, I totally get that. But then I tap into I know where this goes. It's like one will lead into two. Tomorrow is shot, Sunday.

00:06:42
Speaker 2: Scari yes, tomorrow the next day the next like it's just not worth it.

00:06:46
Speaker 1: No, the hangovers as you get older are like days of recovery.

00:06:50
Speaker 2: And I like what you said there, because what you're actually tapping into is how refreshing it might taste. Yeah, you know, it's a cold glass is something on a hot day.

00:07:01
Speaker 1: So yeah, we're like, we're like, you start feeling like uninhibited and your cheese get a little warm.

00:07:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, so perhaps you know, we could all be more mindful about what we're seeking. Mm when we reach for a glass of alcohol, are you seeking connection? Are you seeking presence? Are you seeking intimacy? And maybe find a way to find that elsewhere?

00:07:22
Speaker 1: Well, let me tell you something. I've now done this thing where I'm like, Okay, the equivalent of a glass of rose for me is a diet cocone ice. The equivalent for me if I'm like out at a nightclub, if I've ever been in one of those in the past few years, but nighttime where people are getting buck wild, I'm like, Okay, I guess I'll have a red bowl and get really buck wild with a shot of pineapple juice. Oh yeah, that's when. That's like the equivalent to like a vodka soda for me.

00:07:51
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:07:51
Speaker 1: So I find my equivalents, and once I tap in mentally to like, this is what we're doing, this is what it is for you, I start feeling the same everyone else is feeling. Except tomorrow I'm gonna be up at seven am ready for breakfast in my coffee.

00:08:05
Speaker 2: It's all a mental game anyway, Yeah.

00:08:07
Speaker 1: It truly is.

00:08:08
Speaker 3: It's all just a placebo effect if you ask me, right, therapy thriving, thriving.

00:08:26
Speaker 2: I love my therapist. I recommend her to everyone. She is a goddess.

00:08:33
Speaker 1: And do you feel like she speaks Christa She does. Yeah.

00:08:39
Speaker 2: And it was working with my therapists that made me recognize one of the most powerful forms of love is understanding and that I mean that is her business. Like she sees you, right, she understands your pain and really it's not you know, it's not training, it's not performance. She really understands where you're coming from. And she deals with a lot of people in you know, very really varied circumstances like different industries and whatnot.

00:09:11
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:09:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, love therapy.

00:09:13
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're killing it. So if people are going to murder me for this, I because of my past experiences. I've had very bad experiences with therapists. That is a trauma that I'm having to heal from and learn that not every therapist is like that, and I will get over it where I can trust somebody again.

00:09:42
Speaker 2: I will send you mine. Yeah, please do wonderful.

00:09:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would love that. So I need to work on it that. In my thirty flirty and thriving, I'm flirting with the idea of therapy not quite thriving right? Tracking your steps? I'm an I don't need to know. I would track my sits. I always win at sits ten thousand sits a day.

00:10:06
Speaker 2: Bitch. Wait, that's amazing.

00:10:11
Speaker 1: I always meet that number.

00:10:14
Speaker 2: I know so little about this. Does it actually track when you sit down?

00:10:17
Speaker 1: Here's the thing is most people track it on their phone, and I'm like, do you know what I My phone is hardly ever on me unless it's necessary, So like, it's not going to track my steps because I don't even know where it is half the time.

00:10:30
Speaker 2: I love that You're the only person I know that is not glued to their phone.

00:10:35
Speaker 1: No, I really don't love the phone. It just feels very unnecessary.

00:10:39
Speaker 2: That's why you're so present.

00:10:41
Speaker 1: I try to be. You know, life is short. You blink and it's over, So we need to be present, saying no without guilt. I'm working on it. Are you good at it? The boundary?

00:10:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm thriving in that department. Wow? Yeah?

00:10:55
Speaker 1: How old are you again?

00:10:56
Speaker 2: Thirty three?

00:10:57
Speaker 1: Thirty three? I just turned thirty five. Well you're a what's your sun sign?

00:11:00
Speaker 2: Scorpio?

00:11:01
Speaker 1: That's right, you're rising Pisces. Because I remember we had I think your sun is my rising because I'm a Scorpio rising, but my sun is Virgo. So the constant conflict I feel between who I came into the world as and who I project to the world is like very intense. Yeah, what's your moon? My moon is Aquarius. Oh I love that very watery. Yes, a lot of tuias air. Aquarius is air. Then I think I'm not that.

00:11:38
Speaker 2: I think I was like aliens because they're so.

00:11:42
Speaker 1: Then I think, but then I think I might be Pisces. I need to look into that because I know that I'm a water sign for emotion.

00:11:49
Speaker 2: Well, if you're you're rising as Pisces, that's that's water.

00:11:52
Speaker 1: Oh my rising is Scorpio.

00:11:53
Speaker 2: Oh, you're rising a scorpio. Also, I know that.

00:11:55
Speaker 1: My I know that my moon, which is emotion right, yes, water, so it's not Aquarius. I think maybe that's what I'm thinking about, is our We have a Pisces that's the same, and then the Scorpio.

00:12:09
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, those into things, they'll get you.

00:12:14
Speaker 1: Oh, I know, I cry about everything. It doesn't even mean anything to move emotion. The last one I want to know about because you have gorgeous skin, face masks, and serums.

00:12:25
Speaker 2: Oh, thriving, thriving too.

00:12:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you try the Haley Beaber one on Amazon? The metacube, Oh, I love meticube so good. But then I saw you have to leave it on for one to three hours and I was like, oh, okay, I'm one of those last night. Actually you can tell, just going to pop in today.

00:12:43
Speaker 2: It's so sweet. But no, there's there's a metacue one specifically that has what is it called. They're called like ampules.

00:12:51
Speaker 1: Or said, the tap, like the things that go into the skin. Yes, yeah, the best.

00:12:56
Speaker 2: The pink one. Yes, it's extraordinary it.

00:13:00
Speaker 1: Yes, I only recommend.

00:13:02
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that mass. We are thriving in this department.

00:13:05
Speaker 1: We are thriving, and it's really the only one that matters you.

00:13:08
Speaker 2: Guys.

00:13:09
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Bonus for Untraditionally La La. Thank you for joining me again. I will now release you into the wild. I'm going to catch you guys on Wednesday and again next week.