The One Where Lala Drinks Apple Cider Vinegar Water

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Hello, my love. First of all, I want to apologize for my voice being way it is. My sweet little Ocean is sick and she handed it down to me, so is the voice. Is my voice annoying?

00:00:20
Speaker 2: Right now?

00:00:21
Speaker 3: I don't think it's annoying. I think it's kind of cool. It's like the Miley cyrus esque voice. Oh yeah, like the rasp I love when I'm sick because of that, because I have such like a screechy, high pitched voice that when I'm sick, I feel so cool.

00:00:35
Speaker 4: Kind of brings it down.

00:00:35
Speaker 1: All yeah, I love that. So today I'm really excited because it's a voicemail kind of podcast day.

00:00:43
Speaker 4: M hmm.

00:00:44
Speaker 1: I was like this voice. I canceled our guest because I just this voice is fucking with me. Yeah, and I feel like it is, and I feel like I'm in my head and if I have a guest on, I'm like, I want to be present with what you're saying. All I can really think about right now is the fact that like it's taking a lot out of me to like even.

00:01:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we have a lot of great voicemails too. We need to catch up people still mentioning like the dating app stuff that you talked about people asking about your life lately, people asking about your dating life. We've got a ton, yeah, so it's.

00:01:19
Speaker 1: Gonna be a ton.

00:01:20
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:01:20
Speaker 1: I went to my trainer slash dear friend's birthday yesterday.

00:01:26
Speaker 3: So fun. How was it?

00:01:27
Speaker 1: It was so much fun? You know me, Jess, I like, rarely do anything.

00:01:33
Speaker 3: You never go out, Like I saw it on her stories this past weekend, guys that La La is out and I knew she had a birthday party to go to, which she was like, I don't know if i'll I'll be feeling up to going. And then I walked in and I was like, you went to the birthday party. I was so excited for you.

00:01:49
Speaker 1: Everyone knows that if I commit to something, there's a ninety eight percent chance that I will cancel, okay, because I'm just I'm a homebody. And then you know, I don't like leaving ocean. It's just mom guilt is real, And I think that's actually a question that I want to ask when for my mommy's out there, When after you guys had a baby, did you have mom guilt? And if so, when did it ease up? Because I know my mom. I was like two.

00:02:20
Speaker 4: Weeks old, and she like took off.

00:02:22
Speaker 1: I love, and I'll say, like, yesterday, I was like because I went to the birthday and I didn't know how long I would be gone because it was in Malibuka, and my mom was like, she's not gonna remember.

00:02:38
Speaker 2: No.

00:02:39
Speaker 1: She's like, do you remember me leaving you? I said no, not at all, and like the amount of love I have for my mom, I'm.

00:02:45
Speaker 3: Like, all right, it's fine, We'll be fine. So the birthday was fun, would you guys.

00:02:49
Speaker 1: Do We went to winery okay, and then we went to a Greek restaurant. It was fantastic, I'll say though, and I hope that they don't get mad at me for this winer eight. So we're sitting there and it's before we go on the.

00:03:09
Speaker 3: Tour and the wine tour okay.

00:03:12
Speaker 1: The tour guide was talking. I don't know how it got brought up, but someone said something about a giraffe and I, you know, this is my first time going in. My ears kind of perked up and I said, what's the reason for the animals?

00:03:27
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:03:28
Speaker 1: And she goes just because why not? And I go because I don't think giraffes belong in that's why not. Yeah, and she goes, well, we don't have him anymore. He's in Texas, so me, I hopefully he's happier there. And I go, mmmm, I don't think Texas.

00:03:46
Speaker 4: Is where giraffe should be either.

00:03:48
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry, I'm an animal activist, so yeah, I don't mean to put you on this spot. It was very uncomfortable. I'm bolted. I'm shocked.

00:03:57
Speaker 3: This is obviously the first time I'm hearing about it. That was the wrong person to say that in.

00:04:01
Speaker 4: Front of the bolted.

00:04:04
Speaker 1: But there was a guy there, my friend's husband who's from South Africa, and he was like, I agree with you. M like, I agree with what you're saying. I just don't think she was prepared to answer that. I was like, right, we live in Los Angeles. You should definitely be prepared for someone to ask you what's the reasoning.

00:04:22
Speaker 3: And also, uh oh, let's give you the benefit of the dough and assume you think that drabs exist in Texas. Naturally, we're just gonna let you know they don't know.

00:04:34
Speaker 1: And but but she did say and by the way, this tour guide had nothing to do with you know, she just worked there yeah, it's not responsible for right what animals are on the property, right. She said they don't have anything now except for like Lama's alpacas donkeys. And I was like, okay, that's that's fine. Yeah, I'll fine.

00:04:55
Speaker 3: So you, I know we've talked about this before a little, but is it annoying being on a wine tour and you don't drink or were you like, no, this is great.

00:05:05
Speaker 1: It's just so a part of my life now. Yeah. Like and there was another girl there who she's not sober, but she doesn't drink, okay. And then there was another girl who showed up to dinner. She had been in the she's been in the program for a decade.

00:05:21
Speaker 3: Oh wow.

00:05:22
Speaker 1: So just at this point, Jess, it's just like I show up places and it's it's not even a thing.

00:05:28
Speaker 3: It's not a thing, like you could still have fun. It wasn't like, yan, I'm on this wine tour, I'm bored. I need to go do something else. No, oh that's good.

00:05:36
Speaker 1: I got a cup and they had like pellegrino. Yeah yeah, and I was drinking cambucha and then someone went to hand it to me. Yeah. After I had been drinking it and you know, I needed a lot of help getting up and down the off the jeep because it was a big drop. Now boobs are newly done. Oh yes, yes, yes, okay. So someone was holding my drink and then they handed it back to me and said, here's your apples side vinegar water, and I was like, I don't want it anymore.

00:06:04
Speaker 3: That's actually exactly that's what it is. That is do you like I call it kombucha. You call it kambucha. That's I don't know what it's called. Do you like it?

00:06:12
Speaker 1: I hate it?

00:06:12
Speaker 3: Love it? I love it. I could drink it every day.

00:06:15
Speaker 1: But you know, when you're out and about, like doing things like a wine tour, you're like sure, Like, can I tell you every time we stopped at a new little area on the winery and they would try new wines, I would drink something different. Oh I like that. Yeah. So like at one stop I had.

00:06:30
Speaker 4: Like regular pellegrina. Yeah, next it was like.

00:06:33
Speaker 1: The sand Pellegrino grape.

00:06:38
Speaker 3: You know what that makes me think wine tours should offer just a non alcoholic version of like very interesting whatever. If it's grape juice, these are the grapes from this region. I think that would be really cool.

00:06:53
Speaker 1: No, I think it would be too, because people not drinking is becoming like a big thing because people like have problems. I think people are just becoming aware of like, this isn't good for me, right, so I'm not going to partake in it.

00:07:09
Speaker 3: Well it's not enjoy But like Kyle doesn't drink, and he's not he never had a problem, he's not. He doesn't call himself sober, but he just doesn't drink. He's like, why even if I'm saying, Okay, I guess I'll have one, He's like, I feel like shit, yeah, Like what's the point? What's the point? Yeah?

00:07:23
Speaker 1: You know what though, hmm. The only time and I don't feel triggered to drink, it's just when I go, oh, I remember, and that that was fun. This moment. I remember when I used to be a drinker. This moment was fun the very first drink because everyone's still normal. Yeah, but then they start feeling warm and you notice like their personalities get a little like.

00:07:45
Speaker 3: Get a little more giddy, and they're loosening up.

00:07:47
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then you get to the end of it and everyone looks like fucked up, And I'm like, and this is where I this was not the fun part.

00:07:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, this is. And that's I heard. I think I saw this on Flight Attendant, that show about the pink cloud, because I've heard you talk about it, but I guess I didn't really know what it was.

00:08:09
Speaker 1: We talk about the pink cloud on.

00:08:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, because that character is spoiler alert. It's not really spoiler you kind of know. But she is sober this season. Okay, so she goes to AA and she talks about and I think they talk about it where they say something about like, oh, you're on the pink cloud. Eventually you're gonna feel comfortable enough to say I've mastered this, I've got it. Yeah, and you're gonna have one drink and then you're gonna forget it from there. You're not you can't just have one drink. And it's called the pink cloud. And I was like, oh, that's that's interesting. I'm sure people get to that, like, oh my god, I'm fine, I've mastered it. I can have a drink.

00:08:44
Speaker 1: Well, when you first venture into sobriety, yeah, you do sit on a pink cloud. It's like this is amazing. I feel so great. But then as time goes on and you see, you forget why you chose sobriety, and you're like, I don't have a problem. Look how long I've gone without a drink, Like I can have one, And then before you know it, your shit faced daily and you find yourself back in a meeting with twenty four hours under your belt, and it's just like, yeah, worth it. Yeah, I feel like I'm still on the pink cloud a little bit, you do.

00:09:17
Speaker 5: Well.

00:09:17
Speaker 1: My sponsor tells me that I'm not on the pink cloud anymore, because the pink cloud doesn't last three and a half and some change. Yeah. Years, Maybe it does, though, who knows. Yeah, but I love my sobriety.

00:09:31
Speaker 3: Maybe you feel like you're on it because you keep it. Maybe the reason changes, like at first you did it. You did it before you got pregnant, so I bet the reason then was different, and now your reason is probably at the very least ocean is added to that, you know, So maybe it changes as like you keep refreshing the reason for why you're staying sober, and it makes you, I don't know, filled with like some sort of like this is why I'm doing it?

00:09:55
Speaker 1: You know? Can I tell you?

00:09:56
Speaker 4: Though?

00:09:56
Speaker 1: Every time I think about drinking, not me like picking up. But when the thought of like just drinks, right, yeah, I always go into this state of like, oh the part where you wake up the next day. Just the thought of that is enough to keep me somewhere for the rest of my life.

00:10:17
Speaker 6: Yeah.

00:10:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, so depressing.

00:10:21
Speaker 3: Depressing and also like I look back at when I was heavily drinking in college, my face so swollen, like I was like what, And I would work out religiously, like to an unhealthy point. I don't even work out as close to that much anymore, and I love it. I just feel better. But I would work out religiously, eat healthy, and I still had that. I always looked puffy.

00:10:41
Speaker 1: Same wild and my eyes were always glazed over. Yeah weird, gross all right, now that we ventured into sobriety, that took a weird turn, I know, but it was just always goes back into sobriety. It does when I talk about going anywhere.

00:10:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's just interesting.

00:10:59
Speaker 1: I asked you that.

00:11:00
Speaker 3: It's just interesting because you know, I see me and I'm like, I don't think I could go on a wine tour and not drink.

00:11:05
Speaker 1: I'd be bored. So then I you you're normy. You should go on a wine tour and drink and drink.

00:11:10
Speaker 3: Yes, what you're supposed to do. Yeah, but it's just nice that like you can go and not be bored.

00:11:15
Speaker 1: Well, the thing is is it was so beautiful. The grounds were so gorgeous that it's like I don't need to it's so pretty as is like I'm not here for the alcohol. I'm here for the fucking scenery. It's stunning, and for the friends and like, oh, the company was fantastic. Yeah, I so needed that energy.

00:11:36
Speaker 3: Was it all women? Because I saw a lot of women, but you said.

00:11:39
Speaker 1: There was a guy, a lot of chicks, okay, And then Jenna brought her boyfriend, Ansley, who's so sweet, and then there were I think three other dudes who were partners of her friends, who were also so sweet. And one of the guys he was like, I think we should go around and say what we love about Jenna, and I was like, this is just such a good group of people.

00:12:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's great.

00:12:08
Speaker 1: I had one of the most amazing times that I've had in a very long time.

00:12:14
Speaker 3: I love that for you because you and I are the same. And where like if I get invited somewhere or there's like a birthday party or I know that there's like I've pushed off this, like go to get drinks with a friend for weeks and I'm like, I have to go. I'm always I mean, this is just gonna be honest, the introverted me, I'm not looking forward to it. Okay, that's just how it is, because it takes a lot of energy out of me. And ninety nine percent of the time, I'm so glad I went. And I feel like, you know, like I go and I'm not looking forward to it. And then I like talk to a friend or I hang out with people and I'm like, oh, yeah, this isn't so bad.

00:12:49
Speaker 1: You know, yes, and you're so happy that you went.

00:12:51
Speaker 3: Yes, And so I'm really glad you went. I think that's great.

00:12:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, and everyone it was so and I like people who drink adult like mm hmm. So, like we went to the winery, they all were, you know, participating in the drinking of the wine. By the time we got to dinner, everyone's eyes were you know, everyone was like sobering up. But it was like we've been drinking and everyone was drinking like hot mint tea at and the guy the waiter is like, it's a birthday. Does anyone want a cocktail? Everyone's like no, No. I was like, this is my vibe.

00:13:24
Speaker 3: That's yes. You know, adult drinkers are very different from you know, the all day drinkers, and it's nice.

00:13:31
Speaker 1: It is nice. I wouldn't know anything about that. We will take a short break and we gaped it. When we come back. I've got your voicemails are back, Jess. Can you play me a voicemail please? Yes.

00:13:51
Speaker 5: My name is Taylor. I love your podcast. I just try question for you about the guss find. We have not seen them or heard from them in a while, and I just wanted to sow when you were going to have them back. They are wonderful and are always put the fun and I just said that you just revamped your podcast to a newer, better podcast, and I just think that is the fun episode and I look forward to potentially possibly hearing them have a great day byebye.

00:14:28
Speaker 1: That one makes me sad. One of my gusbands got a new job, which was great, and then it just I don't know what happened, but he just decided that my other gusband was not who he wanted in his life right now. Okay, very weird.

00:14:51
Speaker 4: I don't like it.

00:14:52
Speaker 1: But they're not talking right now, and it's very strange, and I want to shake the one guysband and be like, what a are you doing?

00:15:00
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

00:15:02
Speaker 1: I don't see them being on the podcast together anytime soon.

00:15:04
Speaker 4: I mean, they haven't even spoken.

00:15:06
Speaker 3: Maybe they can hash it out on the podcast. Maybe we can trick them and have them both over.

00:15:11
Speaker 1: I think at this point in time that would not be a good call because I'm on my one gusband's side and I have a real issue with the gusband who got a new job and went into some weird fucking spiral of what he wants his life to look like.

00:15:27
Speaker 3: Here's my question, not knowing, I really don't know a lot about this. You guys are really anything at all? But is do you think it's just a phase like people go through phases.

00:15:36
Speaker 1: I do think it's a phase, okay, but when you're a grown ass person mm hm, this type of phase, I don't have time for it right It's weird.

00:15:46
Speaker 3: And you don't think right now like he's probably wouldn't even be open to hearing anyone.

00:15:51
Speaker 1: I'm just guessing no, And honestly, if you were to listen to this, he would probably call me and be like, I didn't know you felt that way, because I just I know if I were to text him right now, I would not be kind. Mmm, I would not be kind at all. Yeah. I love them both. And just like my one gusband said, when he snaps out of it and he comes back around, who's gonna be there to like pick him up? Right? The two of us will. And that's very true.

00:16:15
Speaker 3: So there's the update on the gusbands, not as positive but as.

00:16:20
Speaker 1: Maybe you all makes me so sad.

00:16:22
Speaker 3: But I truly think because I've seen obviously the gusbands together, I've seen Lalla and the gusbands together, they're like, to me, unbreakable. So it's not like it's the end of an era.

00:16:34
Speaker 1: I hope. Not because I told him, I said, I don't know what's going on, but I feel like my parents are getting divorced. Yeah, like, you guys got to figure it out.

00:16:43
Speaker 3: It's just a thing. It's just a face, I hope.

00:16:46
Speaker 1: So I think he's lost his spark.

00:16:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't want that.

00:16:50
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll be here. I'm very forgiving.

00:16:52
Speaker 3: Lala will be here. The other gusband will be here.

00:16:56
Speaker 1: Okay, what's my next one?

00:16:57
Speaker 3: Next one?

00:16:59
Speaker 2: Hey, I was just listening to your most recent podcast. And this isn't a question but a recommendation for Lalla and Ocean. There is a place called the Gentle Barn about thirty to forty minutes north of La and Samaquarita that I highly recommend you guys going to. You can take the baby. It is the sweetest place where they rescue animals from the food industry. They have cows that you can hug, and pets and pigs and chickens. It's just like the most sweetest place and it's not too much money, and it's for such an amazing cause. So and there's also a place quote Farm Sanctuary, but the Gentle Barn is the most sweetest place. I highly recommend it. My name is Stephanie and love listening to you guys.

00:17:50
Speaker 1: I want to go to the Gentle Barn.

00:17:52
Speaker 3: They rescue them from the food industry. I love that in Ocean would be BESI herself do anything.

00:18:01
Speaker 1: She would love it. Can I tell you something? So because we talked about the giraffe being in Malibu or whatever, and I say I'm an animal activist. Yeah, I don't love meat. It just I've just never really loved meat. But I'm not a vegan or a vegetarian. Like there are moments where I definitely have eaten meat, do eat meat. I really want to not eat meat right now. It's just a part of like it's like, oh, that looks good, I'll eat it, right I don't want to do that anymore, right you want to?

00:18:46
Speaker 3: That's a really great goal, And what I've heard is a small step you can make if you don't want to or can't for some health reasons or whatever, become a vegetarian or a vegan. I do know that if you buy again, this is a not a luxury but a privilege because it's usually a little more expensive. But if you buy, if you are in the space in your life to buy like grass fed cow, which they sell it like normal grocery stores, but grass fed or organic beef, or for the chickens, pasture raised eggs, because I've heard that cage free is basically like just the same as normal. Pasture raised is the key words you're looking for, and that's like they actually let the chickens out legally. They have to run around in a grass area and then like you know, free range, grass fed beef and stuff. Again, I know a lot of vegetarians and vegans will be like, you should just give it up. It's not that hard. But if you're trying to make a small step, id I have heard that's I try and do that because.

00:19:59
Speaker 1: It's just like, don't even enjoy even enjoy it. It's just when you go and order things for some reason, it's just like we're we're programmed to just like eat meat, Like here's a chicken taco, here's a beef taco. Like we weren't. We didn't come into this world and have it where you roll up in a restaurant and it's like veggie taco. That's definitely a part of the menu now, right. But like the other night I went to a Mexican food joint and I got, oh my god, it was so good. Yes, what was it? It was a mushroom taco and it was so bombed.

00:20:36
Speaker 3: I bet you're to be like, I got a chicken taco and.

00:20:39
Speaker 1: It was so mushroom taco.

00:20:41
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

00:20:42
Speaker 1: Please call Candela on Libreak. And they have corn tacos.

00:20:46
Speaker 3: Corn tacos.

00:20:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, just corn taco Wednesdays, yum. Oh my god, mushroom taco.

00:20:54
Speaker 3: You can do a lot with mushroom and Jackfrew, I love a black bean and rice taco.

00:20:59
Speaker 1: See. So so it's just getting myself to just go that direction and just switch the way that I've been programmed because I don't fucking enjoy meat that much. And then when I go into all of this stuff about like how he cares so much about certain like all these animals. But then it's like I look at a count and I'm like, I love that cow and I've eaten one of them. Yeah, that makes me sick stomach.

00:21:23
Speaker 3: And perpetuating the the yeah, I know she Jamie Lynn talked about it, but perpetuating like the industry where kows are just basically shoved it next to each other and can't move.

00:21:34
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it makes me sick to I have to make a change.

00:21:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, But there are like you know, and I've heard like I've heard again, don't know this for a fact, Eating too much like tofu and soy is also not good for you. But there's so many hours in moderation.

00:21:50
Speaker 6: Right.

00:21:51
Speaker 1: I think a kid died from drinking too much water, like years ago.

00:21:54
Speaker 3: You could drown from drinking too much literally right.

00:21:56
Speaker 1: It was like a yeah, is it an initiation for like a f oh what it is? Yes, initially they had to they had him drink a certain amount of water and he like literally died because.

00:22:08
Speaker 3: Well that's hazing, hazy. Yes, you can drink too much water. You can drown in in a centimeter of water. And they mean that by you can over hydration. I used to see it in school sports all the time, such a real thing. People pass out they're overhydrated because they know they have I saw it in track a lot. I would watch the track meets in my school and we had this one girl who had to go to the hospital and was like in really bad condition, was there for three days because she was over hydrated. Yeah, so everything in moderation, I get it, But there are how did we get on? Oh the farm? The farm there, it is the Gentle Barn and it's an in Santa Clarita.

00:22:52
Speaker 1: Going, I love that taking ocean immediately, what's the next voicemail?

00:22:57
Speaker 6: Okay, hi Lave, my name is me and I'm from Massachusetts. First, I love your podcast. I've been binge listening if that's the thing for the last few weeks, and I'm filing up to date. We had babies around the same time, so I'm digging all the baby talk. It's so nice to hear a different side of you on the podcast, and it really gives listeners the opportunity to get to know you so much more than what we see on random Pump Goole. Congratulations on your sobriety. You should be so proud of yourself. My question actually comes from some of the content you've shared with us, as I believe it can use in life too. If you mentioned with sobriety you live one day at a time. For people like myself, I need to live more in the moment. You cut down on stress and anxiety and often try to practice living in the moment, but it's so hard. So in a future podcast, could you speak a little more about best practices with that even if people aren't sober. I think it's a great way to think and would love to learn more about how to practice this on a daily basis, if possible, how to get in that mindset or whatnot. Thanks for taking that question, wishing you and open the very best.

00:24:00
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I love that question. It's strange because I feel like it's easier in sobriety to take it one day at a time. And that may not be for everybody, but like for me, it's easier for me to stay present in my sobriety than it is for me to stay present like in life. My anxiety is high right now, and I just have a lot of stress and I'm dealing with a lot, and I feel like sometimes it does take away from me living in the moment and enjoying things. And I have a lot of worry.

00:24:44
Speaker 4: So I wish that I could like.

00:24:47
Speaker 1: Give my advice on how to live more in the moment. But I mean, I am struggling with it too, especially right now where I think like a million steps ahead and I'm worried about the unknown of everything. Think just like trying to keep my head above water. And I feel like there's so many times where I do like interviews or I'm talking to people and I'm doing Instagram posts and I'm like I'm doing great, like I'm great, but I'm like I'm struggling. So I would also like to know how to stay present and try to not worry and fight anxiety and depression and things like that, and I know mine's situational. But if anyone has advice, because I love that question. So if anyone is listening and you have advice, I would love for you to call in and help me as well.

00:25:54
Speaker 3: Fuck sorry, don't be sorry. I think that was a great question. And you see how people are dealing with it every day. You are this person is I mean I everyone is, and it's just some way worse than others. I mean, we won't get into you know, I couldn't be dealing personally with you know, all the stuff you deal with your like I said, have said before. One of the strongest people I know. I know, it's like how do you live in the moment? And I feel like so many people have anxiety, stress, depression. It's like all three every day just getting out of bed. For people, it's like wake up.

00:26:38
Speaker 1: What am I?

00:26:39
Speaker 3: Why am I getting out of bed?

00:26:40
Speaker 1: You know, and you start the grind all over again. It's fucking exhausting.

00:26:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've heard, I've read and heard, you know, because I don't she wouldn't mind me saying this, but I have a sister who deals with the same things. Extreme anxiety. Has been in the hospital because of panic attacks, and and there are and they sound cliche and and like I've said them to her before and she's like, that doesn't like that's not gonna help. It's but because they're so simple. But sometimes you literally just have to breathe and Okay, I literally you could start from like, think about the things you're thankful for. Again. I know so many people are gonna sound be frustrated because it's like no, no, like I can't right now. But I've heard when you let yourself and you force yourself sometimes it helps being in the moment. Okay, I right now have I'm healthy or I right now have literally you could say like I have my arms and legs, I'm thankful for that. I have my legs, I can walk, I have a roof over my head. And sometimes you have to because it's like if I don't start with like the smallest I have a chair that I can sit in and eat breakfast right then it's like you're gonna go crazy.

00:27:55
Speaker 1: You have just moments of gratitude, yes, when you take your when you have a those dark moments, M yeah, no, and I.

00:28:03
Speaker 4: Agree with you.

00:28:04
Speaker 1: But there's some days where you're just like fuck everything, yeah, and I know that I'll go through cycles and yes, no matter if I'm in a great head space or it's kind of just a lower vibration type of day, I know that you will not break me. I know that everything will be okay. But there's always a small part of me that goes to the what ifs, and that can become traumatizing. Yeah, and take me to a place that I don't want to go to.

00:28:41
Speaker 3: So, I mean, how many of us wake up and we feel like ten years ago was literally just yesterday? I know, even thinking about the pandemic, what that was that started two years ago. So it's almost like, if you have the capacity and the energy to remind yourself, I have to live in this moment because I'm going to wake up tomorrow and it's going to be ten years down the road.

00:29:04
Speaker 1: I know. And then that opens a whole new can of worms for me, where then I start having I go on my guilt trip of all the moments that I wasted worrying.

00:29:17
Speaker 3: M And it's such a it's a vicious cycle because then as you're on in the guilt trip, worried about all the moments you wasted, you're making more moments that you're wasting. Yeah, I know.

00:29:29
Speaker 1: So, as Medina said to me, he was like, you have got to allow the universe to do what it is prepared to do, right, You've got to fight the anxiety. He's like this thing with Chris Medina, He's I've said this many times, he's very gifted. He was telling me things that I was doing that he wouldn't know that I was doing. No one would know that I was doing these things. Yeah, you know, it's like an internal thing that I do to myself. And he was like on the money, and he said, you've got to stop. You will be just fine. I told you that the moment I did your podcast back in September, you will be okay. Let the universe and time catch up with what you know. Yeah, because it will.

00:30:18
Speaker 3: It will.

00:30:19
Speaker 1: And it's so.

00:30:21
Speaker 3: I could see it being so frustrating, and it is so frustrating when you sit there and you have to think, remind yourself the universe, it'll be fine, This too shall pass blah blah blah blah blah, over and over again for days, for weeks, for months, for years. It's like, oh my god. When though, when you get to a point where you're like, but when though, and it's frustrating.

00:30:44
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:30:44
Speaker 1: Well, like my best friend Madison said to me, she was like, you don't get to tell the universe what timeline it should be on. Yeah, you don't have that right. It's so true. I'm like, oh shit.

00:31:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, because all this this time, it's like it's like a blink of an eye, Like the universe is like, yeah, a couple of years, relax, And for us it's like every day is torture and we just have to learn to deal with it for whatever we're trying to get toward or work toward or And it's like, but it will all happen when it's supposed to. And it's the hardest thing. And I like, get I give credit to the people who don't live with that, huge credit to those people. I talked to a friend about it this past weekend who's like, no, no, no, I don't believe in a god. I don't believe in a higher power. I get things happen that we can't explain. I just don't believe in that. If I want something to happen in my life, I do that myself. And I was like, it gave me anxiety because I was like, good, good for you, because if I had to live my life based on me, do you know how much pressure that is me? I'm gonna my life is determined one hundred percent by me, and I can't trust that like things will happen when they're supposed to.

00:32:03
Speaker 1: I'm done.

00:32:04
Speaker 3: I'm not getting out of bed tomorrow.

00:32:05
Speaker 1: If that was my brain live that way.

00:32:07
Speaker 3: I couldn't live that way.

00:32:08
Speaker 1: There's no fucking way.

00:32:09
Speaker 3: So I mean, I do give credit to people who are like, no, I'm getting like I make my life. That's one way to look at it. I'm very well.

00:32:16
Speaker 1: Of course I don't sit here and go. The universe is gonna point me in all the direction rights and God has my back. No, Obviously, if I want, like I believe in God, right, well, God gave me a brain and fucking use it. And if I want something to happen, I'm going to make it happen. But the universe will step in when something is not right. So if something feels like you're banging your head against a brick wall, take a different. The universe is saying, I'm trying to show you that it's not working, So use your brain that God gave you to pick a different route. I'm telling you. You don't listen to that, you end up in situations that you should.

00:32:58
Speaker 5: Not be in.

00:32:58
Speaker 3: Yes, And I always say in my prayers every night, because my belief is like I have I'm healthy, and i have the brain I have and whatever to work my ass off, and I'm not gonna get rewarded unless i work my ass off so I can. My mindset is like if I work my ass off and do everything I possibly can, then there's no like I don't have an excuse, like things don't come to me. And I'm like I can say, but I'm trying. I'm doing everything I can right, So in my prayers I always say, please continue, like to guide me if I'm if I'm not on the right path, please like, if I'm not hearing you, like speak a little louder, please help if I'm not on the right path or I'm like maybe veering off, or please guide me back on, Like if there's a door that should be opening, please help me see it, just all the things that like I kind of put it. If I'm not seeing it or hearing it, please like help a little but really overall, just like continue to guide me, and I will pray to like my grandpa and my uncle and like.

00:33:57
Speaker 1: Of course those are your guides. Yeah, yeah, those are those are your every days. Yeah, it's crazy right, yeah, No, I could not live without believing in the higher power. I mean, if you don't, that's the only thing. I'm not pushing anything on you. But good lord, there are moments where I'm like, this moment is going to break me and I got to hand it off, exact, hunt it to something greater.

00:34:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, handing Get me out.

00:34:24
Speaker 1: On that note, Let's cut to a short little break and then do you have more voicemails for me?

00:34:29
Speaker 6: Just?

00:34:30
Speaker 1: Yes, we do. I want to hear them all. We'll be right back. We have time for one more.

00:34:37
Speaker 7: Yeah, hey, Lala, this calling from Granberry, Texas. And I need some advice. I do not drink, and I have a really hard time going out to social events about people bringing it up and dry attention to it and just making it awkward in general. I know that I've heard you say before that you have a lot of fun when you still go out and everyone's drinking, And I just want to I know your secret.

00:35:01
Speaker 6: What do you do?

00:35:02
Speaker 7: How do you get people to just stop talking about it and have a good time. Can't wait to listen.

00:35:08
Speaker 1: Oh babe, I love this question. You know what, I don't think that anyone should. If you go out and you're sober and you feel like being in a situation where people are drinking is not for you, don't force it. I feel like I'm I'm lucky and I also my and this is this is gonna come off weird, but this is what the very first person that I went into when I got sober, who's one of my angels, said, you're a unicorn. This is not normal for you. And if at any point in time it doesn't work for you anymore, I want you to listen to that. It's worked for me so far. I'm okay going to wineries. I'm okay going into a bar. My mind goes to a place where it's like, this is my life. I have so much to lose, and I for sure am not going to lose use everything over a fucking drink. It's not happening. If you are the type of person where you don't have fun and you're triggered by places like that, don't go. Because there were times at the very beginning of my sobriety where I was like, it's just not a good idea for me to For some reason, I'm feeling it in my gut, I shouldn't go to this bar tonight with my friends. Right I'm not feeling triggered right now, but my gut is telling me steer clear, and I wouldn't go. That's good. Yeah. So I don't even know how to tell someone to not because I have people that I sit in rooms with who have been sober, you know, ten twenty years, who still say if I go into a bar, I'm gonna be triggered to drink.

00:36:46
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:36:47
Speaker 1: So I think it's just a matter of I don't think you can teach how to get into that zone.

00:36:53
Speaker 3: And this is coming from a non sober person. But I and I know you said that you don't drink. You just put I don't drink. I don't know if you shared that with a ton of people or if you're making the decision now. But I have nights I go out and I don't want to drink. People are annoying and they'll say, especially since I'm not sober, and they'll go, no, no, no, just have a drink, Just take a shot and I get annoyed with it, and I'm sick of like it taking up twenty minutes of the conversation. So what I do is I just trick them. I literally go up. I wait till they're in another conversation. I go up to the bar and I say, hey, could I have a drink in a cocktail glass? Could you make it grapefruit juice? And usually I get soda water and I literally pretend I'm drinking all night, and that is unfortunately sometimes, and I know it's like shallow and not as deep. Sometimes that's just what I have to do. It's annoying. People are annoying, especially when they get more drunk and they go shot shot, I'll go, no, I don't want to puke all over everyone, so I'm not going to take a shot, and it would embarrass me. And if I took a shot, I would throw up all over you. I'm sipping on my cocktail and it's not a cocktail, it's none alcoholic.

00:38:02
Speaker 1: That's so strange to me, though, what that people are because if you say you're not drinking tonight, there's pure pressure. But I'll tell you what, when when people ask me if I want to drink and I say no, I'm good, and then they say are you sure, and then I say no, I'm sober. I've been sober for three and a half years. They automatically disengage. So maybe if even if you just if if you don't drink, you're enorman, you've just decided you don't want to drink, or you have a drinking problem. I say, just go straight to the sober just go I'm sober. I'm sober, right And if they freak disengage unless.

00:38:38
Speaker 3: You're with friends that know, like what are you talking about? No, you're not, you were just drinking last night, then you can fake fake it.

00:38:45
Speaker 1: But even now I still have I still ask.

00:38:48
Speaker 3: For like, uh, mocktailary a.

00:38:51
Speaker 1: I don't love mocktails, you know, because sugar to sugary. I just say, give me sparkling water in a short glass with a line right, looks like you're drinking a vodkis soda? No, yeah, asking you anything.

00:39:02
Speaker 3: And either way, I do it anyway, because if I am drinking, I drink waters in between, like soda waters. Yeah, So I'll just do it anyway.

00:39:12
Speaker 1: At that party that we went to a while ago, at Tom Tom do you remember.

00:39:15
Speaker 3: Yes you forget or the yeah the birthday.

00:39:18
Speaker 1: I had so many people yeah, being like, you're not fucked up right now, and you're like, or you weren't fucked up last night. I'm like, okay, first of all, is that an insult? I'm like, no, I haven't had a drink in yeah, over three and a half years. Yeah, So I think if you just keep that in your hand and you look like you're enjoying yourself, yeah, people are gonna be like she was worse.

00:39:45
Speaker 3: Yeah or no exactly. And at that party, someone just to let anyone know who knows me, if you I'm sorry, but if you buy me a shot, it never goes in my mouth, it goes over my shoulder, it goes on the floor. I'm not kidding. It's just happens.

00:40:01
Speaker 1: And so all the alcohol, the alcoholic in me has so much anxiety that I just.

00:40:06
Speaker 3: I know, I have been at a long time ago. I went to Vegas with some people for like the Super Bowl, and we got like a table in one of the clubs and they got bottle service. I think bottle service is dumb. It's so it's so so stupid, so expensive. But they got patrone every shot, you guys went on the floor, which is like rude of me. I did have paper towels and tried to soak it up. But every shot they tried to make me take when over my shoulder or on the floor, and so much so that I'm sure hundreds of dollars of liquor was wasted. But here's the thing. They say, take a shot, Take a shot. I say, I don't want one. I don't want one. Take a shot in.

00:40:44
Speaker 1: I don't want to.

00:40:45
Speaker 3: I don't want to go back and forth. I don't want to. There are just moments where I don't want to stand up for myself and make a point. And I'm like, okay, your fault. You're gonna tell me to take a shot. You just spent this much on this bottle. Guess where it's going on the ground. You should have listened to me when I said no.

00:40:59
Speaker 1: Thanks, speaking of bottle service, just ye, so do you remember, oh, so yesterday at the party, I was like, guys, there was a girl who was These women were all very accomplished. I'm sure a lot of them. If I were to say who was there, you would know who I'm talking about. But there was one girl who was a therapist. And I asked, because you know, I'm really holding on to this guy who went to the strip club, like I know that it's not right, but like I had to ask for a second, third, fourth opinion. And the girl was like, so tell me how it went down. I was like, it was his birthday. I told him happy birthday. We texted whatever. I went to bed. The next day, I wake up. It was like mourning for me after nude. For him, he said, sorry, I was out all night. We went to a strip club.

00:41:44
Speaker 5: Lol.

00:41:45
Speaker 1: And she goes no. She goes, no, that's not the energy you want, that's not the vibration you need with what you've been through.

00:41:52
Speaker 4: No.

00:41:53
Speaker 1: And I said, I'm listening to you, but all I could think about with the bottle service, what you just said being stupid.

00:41:59
Speaker 4: Okay, me back to thinking about this guy.

00:42:01
Speaker 1: Okay, So on his Instagram the night before he was in a restaurant with sunglasses on. Okay, So, when he tells me he's at this he went to a strip club, Me and my sober state of mind could just picture a fucking stupid They all look right like drunk, thinking they're fucking cool with their stupid fucking sung glasses on at night, you know, and like fit inside with pitch black, with like women shaking their asses. Talented women by the way, Yes, the strippers don't look stupid. No, you look stupid.

00:42:32
Speaker 3: You look stupid.

00:42:34
Speaker 1: I just can't stay with the bottle service. When I go into a club and I'm sober and I see these people and they bring out like the sparklers and the champagne, and they're thinking they're so cool. They got their phones.

00:42:43
Speaker 4: Out for the GRAM.

00:42:44
Speaker 1: I'm like, you all look like I'm living. I see it for what it is. Yes, right, I'm sober. Yeah, you look dumb.

00:42:52
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, you just spent eight hundred dollars on it, one hundred dollars bottle of liquor.

00:42:56
Speaker 1: Am I supposed to am?

00:42:57
Speaker 3: I supposed to think that's cool.

00:42:58
Speaker 1: Nope, But they all do. And they're like they're like you see them filming themselves, like yeah, yeah, show the chain.

00:43:06
Speaker 4: I'm like, I hate all of.

00:43:08
Speaker 3: The cool bro Oh my god, No, that's that's true.

00:43:13
Speaker 4: It angers me.

00:43:14
Speaker 3: That's why I love the Instagram account influencers in the wild. Do you follow it? Oh my god, La, it's you know what you're talking it's that ship. It's videos of people just like or like dancing. They'll be dancing on the beach and it's girls and and it's a video and they'll be like dancing and then and then the music stops and they like check it and it's so funny.

00:43:37
Speaker 1: It's mortifying.

00:43:38
Speaker 3: It's mortified. You go through TikTok and you see these like cool videos of women dancing, but you never really think, like what set does actually look like. They're on the beach. There's beach goers laying trying to enjoy and they're like kicking stand in their face.

00:43:52
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, can I tell you what it's like. Can I see people on planes? Yeah, they're in first class and they're like you see the picture, and they're like lounged out, they take a selfie, They've got like their glass of champagne. You're like, oh my god, so chic. But then I transport myself to walking down the aisle and watching that person do that, and I'm like, you're a fucking idiot. You look dumb, Like no, and I'm sorry, I refuse to look stupid just for one Instagram post, just.

00:44:20
Speaker 3: For one You have to think about what's behind the photo. You guys, it's like another.

00:44:25
Speaker 1: I'm so bad at Instagram.

00:44:27
Speaker 3: Well it's the other thing too. It's like, I love there's TikTok accounts that are like the real shot or whatever, and there's all these like gorgeous shots that influencers take when they're like out of the country and they're on this iconic like rock, and then you see a literal hour and a half long line of people waiting to get the shot on the rock, and it's like never and it's just one shot on the rock, and then they run away and then someone else stands on the rock and it's like you see this iconic photo on Instagram, but what you don't see is the and a half line of people waiting to get this one shot on this like rock and Bali or something whatever.

00:45:05
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Wow, we've hit a lot of notes to you. I know, we have cried, We've spoken about sobriety, we've spoken about idiots.

00:45:13
Speaker 3: I know, I know you said two more voicemails, but we have so many good ones. I think we save the rest for later.

00:45:19
Speaker 1: Let's save the rest for later. Okay, you guys, thank you so much for tuning into another episode. Of give them Lalla podcast. I love you so much. Remember to take your vitamins to not get what Ocean gave to me. Remember to wear your sunscreen because sun's out, buns out. I want you guys to protect that skin. I love you so much, Catch you next week.

00:45:47
Speaker 3: Ah, with your cold, you sounded like Kurmit.