209 | Preventative Power: The Lasting Impact of Child-Centered Play Therapy

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi, I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get a master class in child-centered,

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play therapy and practical support and application for

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your work with children and their families.

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In today's episode. I'm answering a question from Jonathan in Ohio

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and I don't know if you all remember, but I actually read his

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email a while back about how CCPT changed his life and his parenting and his son. And

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so same Jonathan from Ohio and Jonathan has now joined the Collective.

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So it's been really great to

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communicate and collaborate with him in different capacities.

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So his question today

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is about how CCPT is preventative in nature.

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And how do we explain to people that

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what children learn as part of the CCPT process serves them forever

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because obviously,

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sometimes what's going on in the child's

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world is pretty dire and pretty devastating

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and sometimes it's difficult to see any way out of that for kids.

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And so his question is around that.

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So I'll read parts of his email and then we'll dive into that.

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So he says as I'm finishing grad school,

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my brain is regularly drawn to applying

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CCPT to things like substance abuse and addiction

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specifically. How does CCPT prevent future problems?

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There are counselors at my site who make comments like

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that kid already has a prison number tattooed on his forehead

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which breaks my heart and mine

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and frustrates me.

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I once heard a counselor tell a parent to try to motivate them to change.

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I am the only counselor who will see children under 12 at my site.

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I want to be the best child center play therapist that I can be.

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My question is,

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could you spend some time playing the movie of how CCPT is preventative in nature?

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What are some of the ways in which we can show parents that CCPT is not just a quick fix

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but a lasting treatment that has long term effects

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and prevents future problems such as substance abuse,

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domestic violence and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.

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All right, Jonathan,

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thanks for so much for the email and I think this is really helpful.

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We often are fighting an uphill battle.

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I've been talking about that a lot in some of

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the discovery calls lately and some of the coaching calls,

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we are always swimming upstream fighting an uphill battle because

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everything about society is quick fix mentality.

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So not only is it quote fix my kid,

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meaning parents do not understand their role and their responsibility

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in the health and wellness of their family.

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But then it's also what can we do that will just take care of this problem right now.

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And

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CCPT is

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constructed differently. It's structured differently.

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It just has a totally different approach.

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And we need to be able to effectively communicate that to parents and even to

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other stakeholders because often schools are putting

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lots of pressure for a quick fix.

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Pediatricians are putting lots of pressure for a

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quick fix or they'll diagnose and medicate.

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So there's always this expectation that we have to combat.

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So my thoughts are first and foremost,

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let's make it very clear that CCPT has been proven, we can look at data and research

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longitudinally.

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It

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preserves the gains that children make.

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In other words,

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they've done follow up studies for children years after they completed CCPT

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and there was evidence of longitudinal positive outcomes.

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So the things that they learn,

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the skills that they figure out

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and what they acquire as they're going through CCPT,

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it serves them for the rest of their lives

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and are their immediate, well immediate is relative I realize

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are there

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in the moment changes that we observe?

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And as they go through the process,

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are we in real time seeing growth and healing and change?

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Of course,

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but that also extends long term because

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we've seen longitudinal studies confirming that.

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So I think we just need to know that we need

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to understand that what we're doing and what children are learning

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in the process will serve them forever and

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relate it aside. I have been thinking about this a lot lately because

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I've been sharing with a lot of people.

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It's really rare for a play therapist to have an existential

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crisis about their value and worth and purpose in the world.

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If you work with kids and you are a play therapist,

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you see the change that comes out of the work that you're doing,

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you understand your purpose,

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you know that you're serving people,

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you know that the world is different because

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you are serving in the capacity in the playroom

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as a child centered play therapist. So

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I often don't think that we question our existence and you know,

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is this really what I meant to do forever,

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but I do often find that we

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question how much impact are we actually having?

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What happens if a kid is yanked out after six sessions?

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What meaningful change did that really bring

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if a child doesn't complete the entire course of treatment?

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Was that really that helpful if a parent just bails because

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we didn't effectively articulate why we're doing what we're doing.

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We put that on ourselves and we feel like that was somehow a failure. But

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I think about the ripple effect

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and I think about how every single time

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a child walks into our child-centered playroom,

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that is a gift.

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It is a special environment and a special relationship

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with special autonomy and freedom that they don't have anywhere else.

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And even if it's one visit, I've had kids that come for one visit and never come back.

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And that used to really crush me and break my heart.

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And I felt so bad for the child and I felt like I had maybe done something

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that I shouldn't have or I should have done something that I didn't or whatever.

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And now all of a sudden, I'm at this point in my career where I'm like

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that child had that hour

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and that was a gift.

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There was calm, there was peace, there was stability, there was predictability,

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there was unconditional love, there was unconditional acceptance.

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There was this sense of you get to do whatever you choose to do

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and whatever you need to do,

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it's what you're going to do in here.

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And so I think that often what we have to realize is

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even if we don't get the outcomes that we were hoping for

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because of attrition or because of circumstances or whatever the scenario is,

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there are still things that that child will remember and take with them forever.

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They might have an absolutely chaotic, frantic, crazy life.

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But for however many hours I spent with you in a playroom,

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they got a respite from that.

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So don't lose sight of the difference that

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you're making and the ripple effect that that has

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I a long, long time ago I heard, I think it was, might have been in a book. I don't know.

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But

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I heard the analogy that if you've lived in a shack your whole life,

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you don't realize that it's a shack

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until you see a mansion.

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And so I think about that a lot and I think to myself, if a child has ever only known

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chaos, dysfunction, toxicity, craziness,

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instability,

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whatever the circumstances are in the child's world

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and sometimes it's not even that severe.

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Sometimes it's, they've only ever known yelling,

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they've only ever known spanking,

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they've only ever known conditional acceptance.

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They've only ever felt judged and criticized.

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So it doesn't even have to be on the extreme end.

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But if a child only has one perspective on the world,

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they don't know

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that that is not true for everyone

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until they are exposed to something different.

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So when they come into the playroom

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and they see the way that we look at them, the way we speak to them,

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the way we interact with them,

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the conversations that we have the aura, the tone,

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all of it,

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it's awareness

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and there's a ripple there because now I know that

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I'm living in a shack and a mansions exist.

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So I think those are really helpful things to keep in mind.

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Kind of as a side note to the actual question, Jonathan,

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I promise I'm getting back to your question.

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OK. So now let's talk through playing the movie of how it's preventative in nature.

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So we know there are longitudinal gains. That's where we started.

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Now, let's talk about if we're going to focus on the issue

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which flies in the face of all things. CCPT, right? Focus on the donut, not the whole.

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So if we're going to focus only on the problem,

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I use the analogy to parents that's putting a band aid on a gaping wound.

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Your child is aggressive.

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So if we were to address,

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I'm air quoting address the aggression because that's nonsense.

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But you know what I mean?

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So we're going to do a worksheet about deep breathing

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or we're going to do a mindfulness CBT exercise with

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a seven year old or we're going to talk about how

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anger is a monster that lives inside whatever.

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Oh my gosh, I can't even,

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I can't even conceive of what you would do directively with a child.

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I'm, I'm struggling here y'all,

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but

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you're going to put a quote band aid on a gaping wound.

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We're going to address this one moment in time,

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single scenario of aggression.

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When the child is aggressive at seven,

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they're going to have a different manifestation of behavior

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with the same root cause at nine.

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But we might have quote addressed the aggression

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at seven,

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but it was a band aid. The gaping wound was never healed

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and therefore there's going to be a new iteration of that later on down the road.

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So there is no quick fix. And the beauty of CCPT

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is

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that it develops an internal locus of control.

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So I'm taking ownership and responsibility for my well being

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I am addressing the things that I need to work on.

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Does aggression eventually get addressed when a child goes through CCPT.

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Yes, but aggression wasn't the problem.

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It was a likely

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lack of emotional vocabulary,

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it was likely lack of emotional IQ it was

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likely lack of self control and self regulation.

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So there are all of these root causes that show up as aggression.

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So if all we ever do is address the aggression,

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whatever gets

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addressed at the lower levels and the cause and the root it doesn't.

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So internal locus of control says I'm taking ownership

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and responsibility for my actions for my decisions,

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for my behaviors, for my choices.

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And I know that there are outcomes associated with those issues.

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So that's a huge step right there because

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if

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someone in a child's life

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quote addresses the problem with them,

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that person is responsible for the change.

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It doesn't come from within the child, it comes from without.

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But an internal locus of control is where self actualization begins

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because it's I want to be a better version of myself.

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I want to not be aggressive. I want to be kind and obedient. I want to be regulated.

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Remember, no child,

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actually no human but specifically no child stays stuck

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in maladaptive coping or maladaptive patterns of behavior,

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no one wants to stay in a deregulated state.

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So when we understand that we're able to

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see internal locus of control creates change,

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that is the catalyst.

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And then how do we present this? So, Jonathan, you asked playing the movie?

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Well, let's start with the easiest which is the four universal outcomes.

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We know that regardless of the reason why the child

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begins the therapeutic process,

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regardless of their presenting issues, regardless of the root causes,

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they're going to gain four universal outcomes.

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If you all don't know what they are, by this point,

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I'll pop quiz you, then you'll be forced to think about them.

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OK? What are your four universal outcomes?

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I'm sure you're screaming them at me. So we have increased regulation,

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we have increased self esteem,

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we have increased worldview

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and we have increased emotional vocabulary.

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So think about that.

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If a child gains those four things,

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it sets them up for the rest of their lives,

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they understand their feelings, they can identify them and communicate them,

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they understand how to control themselves.

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They are more regulated across the board.

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They understand that what they choose to do at any given moment

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impacts other people.

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That's worldview.

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I can't do whatever I want and think that I can do that in isolation,

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there's greater impact there

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and then finally

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increase self esteem. I feel better about myself. I trust myself.

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I know that I'm capable. I know that I'm competent and I know that I can handle things

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if every adult in the world had those four things and nothing else,

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we would be better for it.

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So, just that

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is worth the CCPT process for kids long term.

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And

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I want to end with this.

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We think about

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the circumstances in which a child happens to find him or herself.

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We have no control over those circumstances. We have no control over the situation.

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We have no control over the way they're parented, what they've gone through,

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what trauma they're exposed to, what goes on with their day to day existence.

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None of that

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is something over which we have control.

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So what we realize about the CCPT process is

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those things may never get better.

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I mean, ideally, we would love to think that they do, right?

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Parents get it, they make changes, they get on board,

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they get over their addictions,

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they stop the abuse cycle, they go to therapy themselves, whatever.

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I mean, there's, there's ideal world, right? Where things do get better

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at a familial level,

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but we can't guarantee that and we can't bank on that.

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So we know that circumstances may not change for a child.

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But what CCPT does

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is it equips them to handle those

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circumstances more appropriately and more effectively.

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Because if you think about the four universal outcomes,

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you think about an internal locus of control

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and you think about long term healing

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every time the child faces,

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something that they faced their whole lives that has unnerved them, upended them,

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deregulated them,

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ripped the rug out from underneath them and spun them on the top of their head.

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Guess what? Once they've been through CCPT

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they have more resilience,

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they have more coping,

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they problem solve more effectively. They trust themselves to handle situations

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and it moves from.

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Oh, no, I can't handle this. Oh, no, this is terrible. Oh, no, I can't, I can't cope

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to,

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I, I

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trust myself to deal with this. It's gonna be ok.

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And that changes the entire trajectory of a child's life.

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Even if the circumstances never change

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the child. Being able to say

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I can get myself through this. I can trust myself. I can handle this. I'll be ok.

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It'll work out.

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I'm capable, I'm equipped.

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I have coping, I have resilience.

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It'll be fine at the end of this

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that sets them on a totally different path than

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this is my life forever.

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And it's always going to be miserable and I'm always

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going to be at the mercy of my circumstances.

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And I'm always going to feel like a victim

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and this is just my lot in life that I have to accept it

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that's defeating

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CCPT is encouraging.

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So I hope that answers your question, Jonathan.

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And I think this is something we all need to be mindful of.

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We have to be able to communicate

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the importance of this to parents

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and other stakeholders in a child's life.

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This does paint the picture

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of what CCPT does long term

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because there are short term benefits, of course.

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But I would argue this is why CCPT is the most helpful.

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Well, there's so many reasons why, but this is one of the reasons why

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CCPT is the most helpful approach

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because it's not a temporary fix.

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Children literally will go the rest of

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their lives with these skills in their toolkit

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and that sets them up for every kind of success that they want to pursue.

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All right, thank you all for hanging out with me today.

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We are going to keep you posted as much as possible about

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the update with the storm and it is supposed to hit tonight,

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Wednesday night late.

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So we will

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be as involved and engaged as we can be depending on

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cell service and internet and power and all of those things.

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Thank you so much for all of you who have reached out. Really, we have been inundated

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with messages and emails and texts and just thank you so much for your prayers,

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for your thoughts, for thinking of us, for knowing that we're dealing with this.

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You have absolutely become an extended family to me, but also to my family,

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my husband and son are very aware of all of you

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and your thoughts and prayers. So huge, huge. Thank you.

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Here's a big hug through the airwaves.

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Love y'all. We'll talk again soon. Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr Brenna Hicks.

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For more episodes and resources.

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Please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.