261 | Mastering Neutrality: Foundations for Neutrality in Child-Centered Play Therapy

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing in our neutrality series

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and we're going to look at components of neutrality today.

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Before we do that,

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however,

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3 housekeeping agenda items.

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First and foremost,

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if you are

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in driving distance of Oxford,

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Mississippi,

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I need you to RSVP for the meetup

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and or if you're coming to the conference in Oxford,

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Mississippi,

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or both.

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I would love to meet you.

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I would love to see you.

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Thank you for those of you that have already signed up.

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I'm really looking forward to this.

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It's going to be February 21st at 6:30 in the evening after the Friday conference.

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And it will be

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6:30 until the last person leaves.

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The one in Atlanta,

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we were there till almost midnight.

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So I cannot predict end time,

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but I just want to let you know that we're going to be getting together.

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So go to playtherapypodcast.com/meetup

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or you can click the link in the show notes.

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So that's topic number 1.

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Topic number 2.

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This Friday,

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I am doing a 4 CEU

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course with Corwell.

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Really kind of an overview of child-centered play therapy.

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So the pillars,

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the foundations,

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the basics.

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If you are new to child-centered play therapy,

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if you're wanting to learn more,

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if you're wanting to hone skills,

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maybe you're still in school,

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you're a graduate,

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or you just recently found CCPT on your journey toward working with children,

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this would be a really helpful course for you.

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4 hours you'll get CEUs for it approved by APT.

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So if you are interested,

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you can click

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on the link in the show notes for that as well.

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That will be this Friday from 2 to 6 Eastern.

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So make sure that you know time zones,

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2 to 6 Eastern on this coming Friday,

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the last Friday in January.

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And then finally.

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Many of you have been emailing and asking,

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so I wanted to give you an update.

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I finally,

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this last weekend,

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finished all the CPRT videos

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for the certification program and CPRT

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that we're going to be releasing with Corwell.

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So,

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Finally,

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oh my gosh,

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y'all,

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it's a lot of videos,

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but

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they're done.

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We are in postproduction editing,

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and those should be available really soon.

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Many of you are wondering how many CEUs it's going to be.

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I suspect somewhere in the 15 to 20

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CE range,

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and there will be a certification.

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So if you really want to offer CPRT to your families,

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you want to be much more trained,

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much more knowledgeable,

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this would be an incredible.

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opportunity for you to do that and we will have a certification

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through Corwell and you can say that you are CPRT certified through Corwell's

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program.

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So really looking forward to releasing that for you all.

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I know many of you have been waiting.

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Thanks for your patience.

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There are only so many hours in the day.

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Oh my gosh.

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I need,

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I need a robot version of myself and then things would get done so much faster.

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OK.

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Not that I'm advocating for AI or any other

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technological advances that mean that we don't need to be smart and use our brains.

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But anyway,

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OK,

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so let's dive into neutrality.

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So one of the things that

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I've been thinking about as we've been working through this series

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is what neutrality actually looks like because we talk about wanting to be neutral,

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we talk about the need for neutrality,

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the benefit of staying neutral in the playroom.

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So there's all of these things that we've considered,

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but

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I,

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I guess what I'm trying to filter down is how would I define that?

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What would I actually say that looks like practically speaking in a session.

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And

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I came up with 4 things

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just kind of thinking through it,

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doing some research on neutrality,

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going all the way back to Rogers.

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So I've kind of settled on 4 things and I want to process those today.

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So first is,

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when you're in the playroom,

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you're not taking sides.

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And here's

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where I think that lands when we're doing CCPT.

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A child

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is always going to

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be working through a pendulum swing.

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A child's going to be working through their issues

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in in pretty

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contrasting.

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Manners.

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So what I mean by that is kid comes in,

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they're highly anxious,

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that's one side.

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Then they start doing fear facing work,

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that's the other side.

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They come in and they're really power and control hungry at the beginning,

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that's a side.

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Then they pendulum swing and they let you have power and control.

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That's the other side.

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And that

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back and forth nature is very consistent in the playroom and in our work with kids.

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But

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sometimes we want kids to stay on one side of that than the other.

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You know,

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I have so many therapists who say I would much rather have a kid that

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lets me have some power and control rather than

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a kid that orders me around all session.

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That's taking a side.

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I would much rather have a calm,

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regulated kid than an aggressive room wrecker.

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That's taking a side.

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And

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so I think neutrality is about realizing that a part of our work

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is is accepting and acknowledging both.

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Kids are going to be aggressive and calm,

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kids are going to be anxious and

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work on their fears.

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Kids are going to play out good and bad.

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Kids are going to test limits and comply with limits.

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You see?

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So there's all of these sides,

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but I think that our goal in neutrality

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is to accept both,

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and quite honestly,

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not just accept them but embrace both.

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View both

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as a necessary part of the journey.

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The pendulum swings for a reason.

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It's stuck on one side,

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it has to swing to the other.

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We can't expect a child to operate on one side of the fence.

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So,

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not taking sides,

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my first,

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I guess working definition of what it means to be neutral.

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Second

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is no judgment.

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And we've talked about this in the last few

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in this series as well.

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When we

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are in a session.

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There cannot be judgment of what's happening.

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Because now all of a sudden,

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if we're being judgmental,

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it's about our feelings,

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our thoughts and our experience.

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I wish that you,

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you should.

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I don't like that.

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Can you please?

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Now all of a sudden it's all about us

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and CCPT is all about the child.

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So we have to refrain from judging

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whatever's going on,

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ties into not taking sides.

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It's embracing the notion of anything that's happening is necessary.

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Anything that's happening is relevant.

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And while we may not like it,

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I could give you a laundry list,

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legitimately,

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a very long list.

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You all know how much I love lists.

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You could,

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you could fill many,

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many pages

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in my list of things that I don't like that happen in a playroom.

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And then you can fill a very long list of

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things that I do like that happens in a playroom,

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but that's the point,

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right?

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There's things that are positive and negative,

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but they're both necessary.

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There are things that we may not particularly feel great about,

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but it's a required element of the child's work.

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If we believe that kids know what they need to do,

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then we believe there's purpose in everything.

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We believe that every single thing that happens

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is

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an integral piece.

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Of the process that the child is moving toward healing.

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So

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not judging 2nd component.

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3rd.

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That the child is the one

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that solves the problems.

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Finds solutions,

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gains insight,

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works through the things that they need to work through,

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and they settle.

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And by

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recognizing that there's autonomy

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and there's self-actualizing.

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And there's freedom and there's power

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for a child.

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Our neutrality is,

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I don't need to do anything.

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I'm just going to let you.

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Sort this out.

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I'm going to let you

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solve this problem.

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I'm going to let you

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swing

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to

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both sides of the pendulum and then find balanced center.

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I'm going to let you

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shift back and forth between these conflicting

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realities until you realize where you want to land.

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There's no need for us to get involved and push or control or regulate or do anything

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because

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the child will get there.

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So we do not need to find solutions or provide anything for the child.

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And then 4th,

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we,

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in order to be truly neutral,

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we have to have a very deep

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level of empathy

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for every single kid.

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Actually,

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to be neutral,

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we have to have empathy for every single human.

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This extends to parents and principals and pediatricians and

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your spouse and your children and your best friends and everyone in the world.

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You have to have empathy.

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You have to realize that

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what is happening right now in this moment.

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It's very real

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for

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the child.

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It's necessary for the child.

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It's a requirement at this moment.

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Is it sometimes maladaptive?

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Yes.

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Is it sometimes disregulated?

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Yes.

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Is it sometimes impulsive?

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Yes.

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Is it sometimes reckless?

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Yes,

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etc.

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00:09:46,359 --> 00:09:46,640
etc.

279
00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:46,960
etc.

280
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:47,599
but.

281
00:09:48,570 --> 00:09:50,090
In this moment it's necessary.

282
00:09:51,039 --> 00:09:52,169
And I have empathy

283
00:09:52,299 --> 00:09:53,489
to meet you where you are.

284
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,690
And to really fully try

285
00:09:57,020 --> 00:09:59,530
to understand the depth of this for you

286
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:00,979
and and care.

287
00:10:01,659 --> 00:10:03,000
That this is where you are.

288
00:10:03,809 --> 00:10:04,960
When a kid comes in

289
00:10:05,409 --> 00:10:06,059
and

290
00:10:06,549 --> 00:10:07,239
is

291
00:10:07,609 --> 00:10:09,390
ordering you around like a dictator,

292
00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:13,010
when a kid comes in and intentionally hurts you physically,

293
00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:15,890
when a kid comes in and cusses at you and tells

294
00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:18,840
you how much they hate you for the entire therapeutic hour,

295
00:10:18,989 --> 00:10:22,020
when a kid comes in and intentionally and with

296
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:25,359
glee wrecks your room the whole time saying,

297
00:10:25,369 --> 00:10:29,200
and you're gonna have to clean this entire huge mess up,

298
00:10:29,369 --> 00:10:30,299
ha ha.

299
00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:32,140
We've all been there,

300
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:32,690
right?

301
00:10:32,929 --> 00:10:33,090
I mean,

302
00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:34,880
you can think of the kids where you're like,

303
00:10:34,929 --> 00:10:35,969
oh my gosh,

304
00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:36,969
that session,

305
00:10:37,489 --> 00:10:38,500
that session,

306
00:10:38,849 --> 00:10:39,429
right?

307
00:10:39,929 --> 00:10:40,820
But here's the thing,

308
00:10:40,909 --> 00:10:42,239
neutrality is

309
00:10:42,969 --> 00:10:44,539
That kid doesn't want to be in that place.

310
00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:46,809
That kid is stuck.

311
00:10:48,239 --> 00:10:49,940
That kid has no coping.

312
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,280
That kid has no emotional vocabulary.

313
00:10:53,190 --> 00:10:54,590
That kid has no self-esteem.

314
00:10:55,619 --> 00:10:58,260
That kid has no sense of a healthy relationship.

315
00:10:59,219 --> 00:11:01,599
That kid is scared to death of being abandoned.

316
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:03,820
That kid is fill in the blank.

317
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,219
And that's where empathy comes in

318
00:11:07,469 --> 00:11:10,380
because if you realize that anything that's going on

319
00:11:10,909 --> 00:11:12,890
is because of where the child is.

320
00:11:14,169 --> 00:11:17,289
No human being wants to stay stuck in maladaptive coping.

321
00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:20,359
No human being wants to stay stuck in dysregulation.

322
00:11:21,409 --> 00:11:23,500
That's the whole premise of self-actualizing.

323
00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:26,280
So if they're in that moment,

324
00:11:26,489 --> 00:11:27,770
in that session,

325
00:11:27,809 --> 00:11:28,679
in that playroom.

326
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:31,109
Empathy is needed.

327
00:11:32,469 --> 00:11:33,299
It's not anger,

328
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:34,210
it's not resentment,

329
00:11:34,289 --> 00:11:35,210
it's not frustration,

330
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:36,440
it's not intolerance.

331
00:11:36,809 --> 00:11:38,219
It's empathy.

332
00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:39,570
That's neutrality.

333
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,270
I can just hold the space for you.

334
00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:47,270
I recognize this is what you need to do right now,

335
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,090
even though you wish you could do something else.

336
00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:50,559
This is all you can do right now.

337
00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:52,690
And I will,

338
00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:56,099
I will embrace it because it's a necessary part of your journey.

339
00:11:57,159 --> 00:11:58,270
That's neutrality.

340
00:11:59,450 --> 00:11:59,960
And

341
00:12:00,169 --> 00:12:01,559
here's a little anecdote.

342
00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:03,799
So I read an article.

343
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,650
And I'm just going to quote one line from it.

344
00:12:07,669 --> 00:12:08,630
The line says,

345
00:12:08,919 --> 00:12:11,760
neutrality is not possible for therapists,

346
00:12:11,989 --> 00:12:14,479
and feigning it does not serve clients.

347
00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:16,619
Hm,

348
00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:17,539
ponder that,

349
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:19,460
to quote the great Garry Landreth.

350
00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:20,030
All right,

351
00:12:20,229 --> 00:12:23,070
so ponder that neutrality is not possible for

352
00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:25,549
therapists and feigning it does not serve clients.

353
00:12:26,489 --> 00:12:26,960
Well,

354
00:12:28,799 --> 00:12:29,820
Complete,

355
00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:31,340
true,

356
00:12:31,940 --> 00:12:34,809
100% adherence to neutrality,

357
00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:37,260
I agree that's probably not possible.

358
00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:39,330
We are human,

359
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:40,609
we have emotions,

360
00:12:40,739 --> 00:12:41,770
we have opinions,

361
00:12:41,979 --> 00:12:42,700
we have

362
00:12:43,119 --> 00:12:43,789
conditions,

363
00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:45,500
we have expectations.

364
00:12:45,659 --> 00:12:45,940
OK,

365
00:12:46,059 --> 00:12:49,260
so is 100% neutrality possible?

366
00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:50,130
Probably not.

367
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:52,869
And I 100% agree,

368
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,229
if you are feigning neutrality and you are not neutral,

369
00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:57,880
if you are faking

370
00:12:58,159 --> 00:13:00,830
and trying to put on airs that you are forcing

371
00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:03,880
yourself to come across as neutral when inside you're seething.

372
00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:06,739
I agree that does not serve clients.

373
00:13:07,969 --> 00:13:10,239
But I view that line in that article

374
00:13:10,929 --> 00:13:12,679
as a get out of jail free card.

375
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:14,349
Well,

376
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:17,119
neutrality is not possible and feigning it doesn't serve clients,

377
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:17,760
so

378
00:13:18,049 --> 00:13:19,039
we'll just move on.

379
00:13:19,489 --> 00:13:20,049
Hard no.

380
00:13:21,330 --> 00:13:24,679
Our number one priority every single time.

381
00:13:25,409 --> 00:13:27,650
We step into that playroom with that child

382
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:29,099
is neutrality.

383
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:33,169
Are we going to be 100% capable of accomplishing it?

384
00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:33,859
Maybe not.

385
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:34,770
Should we fake it?

386
00:13:34,859 --> 00:13:35,340
Never.

387
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,559
We talked about congruence in one of the earlier neutrality episodes,

388
00:13:39,599 --> 00:13:39,950
right?

389
00:13:40,239 --> 00:13:41,559
We need to be congruent.

390
00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:43,109
That's the

391
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:45,179
January theme in the Collective right now.

392
00:13:45,219 --> 00:13:47,210
We've been spending a lot of time on congruence.

393
00:13:47,419 --> 00:13:47,750
Why?

394
00:13:48,059 --> 00:13:49,729
Because you can't put on airs

395
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:52,570
that you accept a child when inside you're going,

396
00:13:52,659 --> 00:13:53,059
oh my gosh,

397
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,530
I can't wait for this session to be over.

398
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,000
OK.

399
00:13:56,299 --> 00:13:58,130
Kids going to sniff that out a mile away,

400
00:13:58,299 --> 00:14:00,869
and that's gonna be nothing but a fracture in your relationship.

401
00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:03,869
So 100% don't fake it.

402
00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:07,590
But we work toward becoming more neutral.

403
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,909
We work toward

404
00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:11,739
not taking sides.

405
00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:14,369
We work toward not being judgmental.

406
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,460
We work toward letting

407
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:18,799
kids find their own solutions

408
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,340
and gain their own insight.

409
00:14:21,049 --> 00:14:23,789
And we work toward having higher levels of empathy.

410
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,549
There's a striving here.

411
00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:28,830
There's an intentional striving.

412
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,030
There's purpose in saying,

413
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,320
I understand the importance of neutrality,

414
00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:39,469
so I'm going to work and work and work and I'll never fully get there,

415
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,359
but I will never stop trying.

416
00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:43,729
We absolutely

417
00:14:43,979 --> 00:14:45,809
should prioritize neutrality

418
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:48,690
and while maybe not 100% possible,

419
00:14:48,979 --> 00:14:51,369
we can be almost completely neutral

420
00:14:51,739 --> 00:14:53,820
if we make it something that

421
00:14:54,179 --> 00:14:55,169
we prioritize

422
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:57,549
and that we spend energy and time

423
00:14:57,780 --> 00:14:58,330
to do.

424
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,010
10,000 hours to master something ancient Chinese proverb.

425
00:15:03,359 --> 00:15:05,830
How many hours have you spent mastering neutrality?

426
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,640
I can guarantee you not 10,000.

427
00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:10,500
So it's worth pursuing.

428
00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:15,719
But we absolutely should not fake neutrality when we don't feel it.

429
00:15:16,469 --> 00:15:17,979
So be congruent.

430
00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:20,260
If something is irritating you,

431
00:15:20,349 --> 00:15:21,059
accept that,

432
00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:22,260
embrace that.

433
00:15:22,690 --> 00:15:22,989
wow,

434
00:15:23,309 --> 00:15:25,580
this session is just getting under my skin.

435
00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:26,150
I,

436
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:26,570
I'm gonna,

437
00:15:26,590 --> 00:15:27,950
let me give an illustration.

438
00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:29,479
I was on a coaching call yesterday

439
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:32,739
and I did not get permission to share this story,

440
00:15:32,789 --> 00:15:34,710
so I'm going to not share her name.

441
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:37,020
But I was on a coaching call yesterday and

442
00:15:37,710 --> 00:15:39,419
she mentioned that she was in a session

443
00:15:39,950 --> 00:15:41,840
and she realized

444
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:43,450
that cognitively.

445
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,450
She knew she was not upset with her client.

446
00:15:46,869 --> 00:15:47,179
She said,

447
00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:47,409
I,

448
00:15:47,469 --> 00:15:51,059
I could think through and I could recognize that cognitively,

449
00:15:51,429 --> 00:15:52,880
I was not upset

450
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,789
at what was happening in the session.

451
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,900
But I also was very aware

452
00:15:58,229 --> 00:15:58,659
that

453
00:15:58,869 --> 00:16:01,349
I was actually full of rage

454
00:16:01,950 --> 00:16:02,789
for some reason,

455
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:03,429
and she's like,

456
00:16:03,469 --> 00:16:03,950
and I,

457
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:06,140
I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

458
00:16:06,349 --> 00:16:07,580
She went home,

459
00:16:07,869 --> 00:16:08,630
she processed it,

460
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:09,880
she talked to people

461
00:16:10,229 --> 00:16:10,710
and she said,

462
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,020
and I just realized

463
00:16:12,229 --> 00:16:12,739
that

464
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:16,900
I was raised that I would have gotten the belt if I acted that way.

465
00:16:17,229 --> 00:16:19,369
I was raised that I would have been put in my place

466
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:21,880
immediately if I would have said and done some of those things.

467
00:16:21,969 --> 00:16:23,440
The kid was cussing at her.

468
00:16:23,770 --> 00:16:24,539
I mean just

469
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:25,559
hateful,

470
00:16:25,849 --> 00:16:26,539
angry,

471
00:16:26,729 --> 00:16:27,400
hateful,

472
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,479
resistant,

473
00:16:28,729 --> 00:16:30,440
all kinds of stuff going on in the playroom,

474
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,359
and she said,

475
00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:31,770
you know,

476
00:16:31,929 --> 00:16:33,760
I grew up in such a way that

477
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,799
that would have never been tolerated,

478
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,330
and I just,

479
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,000
it filled me with rage

480
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:39,820
that.

481
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:40,809
You know,

482
00:16:40,979 --> 00:16:42,159
I could not

483
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:45,940
relate to where this child was because I would have never behaved that way.

484
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:47,929
I would have never been able to behave that way.

485
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,859
I would have been stopped before it even began.

486
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:55,239
And so here's why I'm bringing that story up because

487
00:16:55,690 --> 00:16:57,440
she realized that she couldn't fake it.

488
00:16:57,890 --> 00:16:59,520
She was cognitively saying,

489
00:17:00,090 --> 00:17:01,840
I'm OK with this child's anger.

490
00:17:02,679 --> 00:17:05,469
But emotionally and experientially she wasn't.

491
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:08,400
And she had to spend the time to work through that.

492
00:17:08,598 --> 00:17:10,329
That's congruence work.

493
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,449
That's neutrality work.

494
00:17:13,118 --> 00:17:14,170
Find yourself going,

495
00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:14,760
wow,

496
00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:17,670
I really am not OK with what's going on in this session right now.

497
00:17:18,219 --> 00:17:18,829
Accept it,

498
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:19,829
embrace it,

499
00:17:20,079 --> 00:17:21,040
be congruent.

500
00:17:21,838 --> 00:17:23,378
And then go home

501
00:17:23,628 --> 00:17:25,838
and figure out why

502
00:17:26,229 --> 00:17:29,098
we have to do our own work to do this work.

503
00:17:30,239 --> 00:17:30,439
Dang,

504
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,069
that's a pearl of wisdom quote right there.

505
00:17:32,989 --> 00:17:33,560
Write that down.

506
00:17:34,239 --> 00:17:36,390
We have to do our own work

507
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:37,670
to do this work.

508
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,069
You should know thyself,

509
00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:44,390
you should work on thyself,

510
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,510
and you should better thyself.

511
00:17:47,459 --> 00:17:48,290
Because

512
00:17:48,979 --> 00:17:50,530
trying to be neutral,

513
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,300
trying to convey empathy,

514
00:17:52,459 --> 00:17:53,459
trying not to judge,

515
00:17:53,619 --> 00:17:54,930
trying not to take sides,

516
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:56,130
all this stuff,

517
00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:01,010
it requires a really deep sense of self understanding and self-awareness.

518
00:18:01,859 --> 00:18:04,099
And when you're carrying stuff with you,

519
00:18:04,229 --> 00:18:05,540
when stuff from your childhood,

520
00:18:05,589 --> 00:18:07,189
when stuff from your relationships,

521
00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:09,219
when stuff from your experiences,

522
00:18:09,510 --> 00:18:10,199
when it comes up,

523
00:18:10,270 --> 00:18:11,670
which it inevitably does.

524
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,650
That's our opportunity

525
00:18:14,939 --> 00:18:16,140
to sort through it,

526
00:18:16,339 --> 00:18:17,209
figure it out,

527
00:18:17,459 --> 00:18:20,609
and then use it to become more neutral

528
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:23,140
and more congruent in sessions.

529
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:26,020
There's so much power there y'all.

530
00:18:26,349 --> 00:18:26,750
So

531
00:18:26,949 --> 00:18:28,229
I hope that that encourages you.

532
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:29,819
I hope that it

533
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,709
kind of is starting to resonate at a deeper

534
00:18:32,709 --> 00:18:34,979
level about what this whole neutrality thing is.

535
00:18:35,229 --> 00:18:38,219
I think we will likely wrap up this series next time,

536
00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:41,560
and I'm hopeful that I'm gonna get to read something to you all.

537
00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:42,869
I'm waiting to get permission.

538
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:46,020
So I'm hopeful that I can read something and gosh,

539
00:18:46,099 --> 00:18:49,530
if it didn't just kind of tie up neutrality in

540
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:50,910
in a little essay form,

541
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,689
I'm really hopeful that I can share that with you.

542
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:53,140
So

543
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,339
if you want to reach out to me,

544
00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:55,260
I'd love to hear from you,

545
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,250
brenna@thekidcounselor.com.

546
00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:59,050
If you want to say hello,

547
00:18:59,219 --> 00:19:00,329
send me an email,

548
00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:01,449
check in,

549
00:19:01,819 --> 00:19:03,770
say that you don't agree with anything I say,

550
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,329
whatever.

551
00:19:04,939 --> 00:19:06,089
I'd love to hear from you.

552
00:19:06,339 --> 00:19:06,579
All right,

553
00:19:06,739 --> 00:19:07,260
love y'all.

554
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:07,939
Have a great week.

555
00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:08,579
We'll talk soon.

556
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:08,979
Bye.

557
00:19:10,130 --> 00:19:12,890
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

558
00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:13,969
Brenna Hicks.

559
00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:16,089
For more episodes and resources,

560
00:19:16,209 --> 00:19:20,969
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.