Brett Rossi: The Comeback, the Chaos, and What Really Happened with Charlie Sheen

<v Speaker 1>You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
<v Speaker 1>our sex podcast collective, visit pleasure Podcasts dot com.
<v Speaker 2>Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered Today. I
<v Speaker 2>am joined by the unapologetic and unstoppable Brett Rossi. From
<v Speaker 2>runway model to adult star to tabloid fodder, Brett has
<v Speaker 2>built a career on reinvention and resilience. With her new
<v Speaker 2>show Stripped launching soon, she's opening up about success, survival,
<v Speaker 2>and staying powerful in and out of the industry. So
<v Speaker 2>let's get into it.
<v Speaker 3>Brett, welcome back. Wow, what an intro. Thank you, I
<v Speaker 3>read it. That's crazy.
<v Speaker 4>I guess before we start, I shall let everyone know
<v Speaker 4>I'm not a six year old smoker. I just got
<v Speaker 4>back from Axonica.
<v Speaker 3>So how was it? Actually, it was really fun.
<v Speaker 4>It was my first convention that I've done since twenty eighteen,
<v Speaker 4>Like first convention that i've like been that.
<v Speaker 3>I signed at.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, because I stopped signing at conventions for a while.
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so did you sign your own booth or did
<v Speaker 2>you sign for a brand?
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?
<v Speaker 4>I was invited there by loyal fans, so yeah, so
<v Speaker 4>they sponsored me to go out there, and then I
<v Speaker 4>featured danced at gold Rush so that was crazy.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Yeah, you do a lot of future dancing. Yeah
<v Speaker 3>I do. I do.
<v Speaker 4>I do feature dance all around the country. I do
<v Speaker 4>shake my booty And I love the costumes and the
<v Speaker 4>theatrix of it all. That's kind of like my thing. Yes,
<v Speaker 4>I never stopped featuring. So how do you get your costumes?
<v Speaker 4>Like do you get them designed yourself? Do you buy them?
<v Speaker 4>Do you get to.
<v Speaker 3>Reuse them or is it like a one and done
<v Speaker 3>kind of situation.
<v Speaker 4>I have a lady in Canada that I discovered and
<v Speaker 4>she custom makes all my costumes, so I just like
<v Speaker 4>give her an idea. Like my most recent costume was
<v Speaker 4>a nun and so, but it's like all the all customizable,
<v Speaker 4>like every piece. There's like seven pieces, so there's a
<v Speaker 4>lot to take off. I have a flight attendant costume.
<v Speaker 3>Song did you Dance to? Is a nun. There's this
<v Speaker 3>like Rob Zombie song that it's like, oh really pleasing it? Okay, please,
<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry we did not catch that. No, So there's
<v Speaker 3>this like Rob Zombie song.
<v Speaker 4>I come out with like a candle, you know those
<v Speaker 4>like Halloween bleeding candles with that and a Bible and
<v Speaker 4>inside the Bible.
<v Speaker 3>I'm like this terrible coing to hel Okay, we all are.
<v Speaker 3>I got a hole cluder, who's watching the show?
<v Speaker 4>I cut a hole for a shot glass, so then
<v Speaker 4>I open it and I like taking a shot. But yeah,
<v Speaker 4>so I have a bunch of different costumes. My favorite
<v Speaker 4>one right now. I kind of have like favorites right now.
<v Speaker 4>My favorite is the flight attendant one. But they're all
<v Speaker 4>like like little jackets, matching bra panties, garters, boussiers, like
<v Speaker 4>it's it's a whole thing.
<v Speaker 2>Do you also shoot in them for like your personal platform? Yeah?
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean sometimes I do, but I get like
<v Speaker 4>weird about it because they're like they're so precious to me,
<v Speaker 4>Like these costumes, believe it or not. Like I have
<v Speaker 4>to do a lot of repairs, Like I lost a
<v Speaker 4>lot of weight, so I had to get like my
<v Speaker 4>garters taken in and I brought I'm not gonna ship
<v Speaker 4>them the Canada and have her fix them because.
<v Speaker 3>It's just gonna take too long.
<v Speaker 4>So I took them to this like guy down the street,
<v Speaker 4>who's my cobbler's.
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if anybody knows what a cobbler is,
<v Speaker 3>but this is elves that live in the tree. Let
<v Speaker 3>me make cookies. So cobblers fix like your cowboy boots.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah there's sheer repairs. Yeah, there's sheer repairs.
<v Speaker 4>But he also his wife is like a seamstress, and
<v Speaker 4>so I brought these and he's like, he doesn't really
<v Speaker 4>speak English, but he's like, what are these.
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, just just fix up. It's fine, just take
<v Speaker 3>them in a little bit. But yeah, so featurings like.
<v Speaker 3>I love it. I love it so much. I've been
<v Speaker 3>doing it for sixteen years. So what do you love
<v Speaker 3>the most about it?
<v Speaker 4>I really love like the traveling aspect of it. I
<v Speaker 4>like going to these ho dunk towns. Sometimes it's like
<v Speaker 4>a cool place like Miami, but other times it's like
<v Speaker 4>you're in like Bumpuck Egypt. Okay, can I say that first?
<v Speaker 4>It's okay cool. I went to this small town in Virginia,
<v Speaker 4>West Virginia. I didn't even know there was a West or.
<v Speaker 4>I didn't know there was different Virginitia. You didn't know
<v Speaker 4>there was a West Virginia. I've never even been to Virginia,
<v Speaker 4>and I knew that. I had no idea, but this
<v Speaker 4>was like a tiny town. The mall had carpet. I
<v Speaker 4>felt like I was going back to like two thousand
<v Speaker 4>and seven.
<v Speaker 2>The mall had carpet. The mall had carpet, like where
<v Speaker 2>like everywhere throughout the mall, the whole mall had The
<v Speaker 2>whole mall had carpet. I don't recall there ever being
<v Speaker 2>a mall with carpet.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah it was.
<v Speaker 4>It was pretty pretty old school. There was some old, old,
<v Speaker 4>old stores. I'm trying to think of some of the
<v Speaker 4>old stores that were there, but there were some old
<v Speaker 4>stores that took.
<v Speaker 3>Me back in time. What kind of customers do you
<v Speaker 3>get there?
<v Speaker 4>Honestly, it's a mash like in a town like that.
<v Speaker 4>Mostly like the people that work in like the mines,
<v Speaker 4>so they have money that they want to spend because
<v Speaker 4>they don't do anything fun. So but I mean, I've
<v Speaker 4>had some I've had some interesting experiences. I've had people
<v Speaker 4>like think that they're going to marry me and come
<v Speaker 4>to my appearances and not listen to anything, saying like
<v Speaker 4>they were catfish and they think that.
<v Speaker 3>They're oh yeah, yeah.
<v Speaker 4>Like I had a guy come with like a ring
<v Speaker 4>and everything, and it was really scary because he was like, no,
<v Speaker 4>we're getting married. I'm like no, sir, and like I
<v Speaker 4>try to explain him and he's like, no, I talked
<v Speaker 4>to you. I'm like no, no, I'm here physically telling
<v Speaker 4>you no.
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I had I get. I mean, anyone who
<v Speaker 2>is in our industry.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm sure get.
<v Speaker 2>You have tons of stories about that, and I get
<v Speaker 2>them all the time, and usually I'm just like, you're
<v Speaker 2>kind of like you're an idiot. But I did have
<v Speaker 2>this one guy reach out to me. It was actually
<v Speaker 2>a friend of somebody, and he told me like he
<v Speaker 2>was an older gentleman and you know, he believed that
<v Speaker 2>he was in this relationship with this woman who forget
<v Speaker 2>what she called herself, Michelle.
<v Speaker 3>I know it's always some like random name, like my
<v Speaker 3>name is not.
<v Speaker 4>Do I look like I'm like a Jessica from Tennessee.
<v Speaker 3>Yes. And that's what's so funny.
<v Speaker 4>It's like because it's like you like, you know, because
<v Speaker 4>of like my history. I mean, some of the girls
<v Speaker 4>are a lot luckier. They have that like ability to
<v Speaker 4>be anonymous. Still not so much now, but but yeahs
<v Speaker 4>with me, Like it's like, come on, dude, just just
<v Speaker 4>google Brett Rossi and like my whole life story.
<v Speaker 2>Just just google your pictures. Yeah, you can do those
<v Speaker 2>like cross yeah, image Google. But generally these people are
<v Speaker 2>not that tech savvy, you know what I mean, they're
<v Speaker 2>I think that they choose, you know, I do.
<v Speaker 3>I think they choose to think, they.
<v Speaker 4>Choose to believe what they want to believe, because I've
<v Speaker 4>had I've had them straight up just like talk to
<v Speaker 4>me in person and totally ignore.
<v Speaker 3>Me, saying like that it's not real. Yeah, They're like,
<v Speaker 3>no it is. I'm like no, yeah, So I know.
<v Speaker 2>I felt bad for this guy, so I actually and
<v Speaker 2>I never do this, I uhould just go yeah, that's
<v Speaker 2>that's not me.
<v Speaker 3>Sorry.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But for this guy's friend, I actually made a
<v Speaker 2>video and I was like, I don't know, I just
<v Speaker 2>like felt really bad it. His friend was trying to
<v Speaker 2>help him. He'd given this woman all of his money.
<v Speaker 2>They've been texting for like a year.
<v Speaker 3>It's usually the long term one yeah too, and all like.
<v Speaker 2>They were getting married and he was like and he said,
<v Speaker 2>I don't want it, you know, And then he was
<v Speaker 2>really upset when his friend confronted him about it and
<v Speaker 2>was like, this is not who she says she is,
<v Speaker 2>and he was like, this is my last chance at love.
<v Speaker 2>I wish I'd never told you about her, And I
<v Speaker 2>was just like, and I feel like even I don't
<v Speaker 2>even know what happened if he's shown him the ide,
<v Speaker 2>but I feel like even if he does, and it's
<v Speaker 2>me literally saying like I am not this person, Like
<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry.
<v Speaker 3>My name is Holly Randall. I'm married to have a kid.
<v Speaker 2>Like I just we're not in a relationship that like
<v Speaker 2>he's not gonna want to hear it, because it's just
<v Speaker 2>like people are really lonely, you know.
<v Speaker 3>I know I'm on that boat too.
<v Speaker 4>Oh Like I know, but I mean, but I'm on
<v Speaker 4>the opposite side of the spectrum of lonely. I'm like, no,
<v Speaker 4>don't talk to me. I'm like, not out there looking,
<v Speaker 4>You're not looking. No, No, you're recently single, right, yeah
<v Speaker 4>I am. And like, honestly, the thought of like even
<v Speaker 4>entertaining something like I want no situationships, no fuck buddies,
<v Speaker 4>no like texting buddy, no like let's hang out. But
<v Speaker 4>I do not want anything like romantic or sexual or
<v Speaker 4>anything like that at all.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>No, that's definitely not what I'm looking for right now.
<v Speaker 4>I'm like money career, money career, that's it. Oh, and
<v Speaker 4>horses and yeah, I'm dogging my cat. But that's pretty
<v Speaker 4>much it. Like Holly was trying to like hook me up.
<v Speaker 2>I have a friend, a friend, Dudy's guy, and he's
<v Speaker 2>got a great body.
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, but I like dad Bogs. And she's like,
<v Speaker 4>I don't know what to tell you. Maybe he'll eat
<v Speaker 4>more McDonald's. You could get fat for you. I guess
<v Speaker 4>I get fat. I just like dad Bogs, like I
<v Speaker 4>like Daddy's. Yeah, I don't care if I'm getting older.
<v Speaker 1>I.
<v Speaker 2>Will say I don't like to date men that are
<v Speaker 2>significantly better looking than me because I find it to
<v Speaker 2>be like, I don't know, I think there's I think
<v Speaker 2>there's a selfishness in it, right, I want to be
<v Speaker 2>the better looking one in the relationship.
<v Speaker 3>Number one, I want to be the star.
<v Speaker 2>But number two, I also find like those guys to
<v Speaker 2>be no offense to guys who are really good looking.
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure there's some wonderful ones of you out there,
<v Speaker 2>probably not, but like generally they you know, they tend
<v Speaker 2>to rely on their good looks more than like their
<v Speaker 2>personality or there's sense of humor, and and because they
<v Speaker 2>have so many like women throwing themselves at night, and
<v Speaker 2>I think men are less have a harder time resisting
<v Speaker 2>the charms of the opposite sex necessary than women do.
<v Speaker 4>Like it's just I get it. I just like like
<v Speaker 4>normal looking men. Yeah, Like I don't want them too hot.
<v Speaker 4>I don't want them. I just and they have to
<v Speaker 4>be Daddy's like forty five to fifty, Like that's my range.
<v Speaker 4>And that's been my range since I was like in
<v Speaker 4>my early twenties, and it's still my range. So I'm
<v Speaker 4>starting to catch up to them. So I don't know
<v Speaker 4>if like.
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna have to start, you know, maybe sixty seventy.
<v Speaker 3>You know what, Fuck it, I'm just gonna start grave robbing.
<v Speaker 3>It's fine. I'm just that's my At least they won't
<v Speaker 3>talk back to you. Well, it's fine, it's fine. So yeah,
<v Speaker 3>you know, what are you gonna do about that?
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god? Okay, so you have been on the
<v Speaker 2>show before. Yes, it's been a hot minute. Yeah, so
<v Speaker 2>besides becoming single, actually a lot has happened since you've
<v Speaker 2>been on the show. Oh my god, so much was
<v Speaker 2>that before you dated Charlie? No, it was I was
<v Speaker 2>after Okay, So all right, So so yeah, so a
<v Speaker 2>lot has happened.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So I mean, I'm not.
<v Speaker 2>Going to ask you to like tell me everything that's happened,
<v Speaker 2>because it forever, you know, right, But maybe, like, what's
<v Speaker 2>the biggest difference between the Brett Rossi then and the
<v Speaker 2>Brett Rossi today.
<v Speaker 4>I think that Brett Rossi then, well, she was still performing.
<v Speaker 4>I'm just gonna talk about Brett Rossi in the third person.
<v Speaker 4>She was still performing that bitch. Oh my god, now
<v Speaker 4>that she's not in the room, can we talk about
<v Speaker 4>Brett Rossi.
<v Speaker 3>Or god, oh she's so rude?
<v Speaker 4>So I the difference is back then, obviously, age difference
<v Speaker 4>like that was back when you very first started your podcast.
<v Speaker 3>Seven years ago.
<v Speaker 2>So actually eight years Oh my god, is it gonna
<v Speaker 2>be eight years? Like next month?
<v Speaker 3>Holy shit? Eight years next month?
<v Speaker 4>Okay, So I just turned thirty six, so I was
<v Speaker 4>still in my twenties. So the difference is I'm not
<v Speaker 4>performing professionally anymore. I just shoot for my own self.
<v Speaker 4>And I think the difference, honestly is my brand has
<v Speaker 4>definitely evolved with me as I've evolved. I've noticed that
<v Speaker 4>like when it comes to like long jet, you know,
<v Speaker 4>you get to a point in your career where you
<v Speaker 4>have to figure out how am I going to make
<v Speaker 4>this sustainable and have it continue to be profitable because
<v Speaker 4>I think a lot of like performers who are just
<v Speaker 4>starting out and they have the eight girl luck or
<v Speaker 4>or finances. I call it the it girl finances, and
<v Speaker 4>the it girl finances are they're hot, they're new, their
<v Speaker 4>up and coming, so they're getting booked, they're making the money,
<v Speaker 4>and they're they're the hot new thing. But there gets
<v Speaker 4>to a point in your career where you're you're You're
<v Speaker 4>just there and you have to constantly reinvent yourself and
<v Speaker 4>make your brand sustain the time of not only the
<v Speaker 4>economy but you changing, the dynamic of the industry changing
<v Speaker 4>and all that. So I I felt like for the
<v Speaker 4>longest time, I struggled with, like, who's Brett Rossi And
<v Speaker 4>who's Scotty? And like, you know, I felt like like
<v Speaker 4>being Scotty. I wanted to be Scotty so bad, but
<v Speaker 4>I want to be Brett Rossi. And what was that face?
<v Speaker 2>Masha walked in with Panda Express and Ian.
<v Speaker 4>Wait, did you get that cream cheese wantons? Because those
<v Speaker 4>are like what makes it? I just like the orange
<v Speaker 4>chicken because It's like I get half rice and half
<v Speaker 4>chimmy and that has nothing to do with anything but sorry,
<v Speaker 4>but anyways, before I was rudely interrupted by hand Panda express.
<v Speaker 3>Now I'm just kidding.
<v Speaker 4>No. So so for my whole career, I've always struggled
<v Speaker 4>with like my identity and because I because I was
<v Speaker 4>with Charlie and I was like wrapped up in that
<v Speaker 4>whole thing.
<v Speaker 3>I kind of was doxed. So I never got.
<v Speaker 4>To have the freedom of like, oh, here I'm Brett
<v Speaker 4>Rossi and here I'm Scottie, you know, whereas like it
<v Speaker 4>kind of just all mashed together. And so I went
<v Speaker 4>through like a full blown identity crisis, like I from
<v Speaker 4>then till now, like I didn't know who I was or.
<v Speaker 3>What what the hell I was doing.
<v Speaker 4>I became a paramedic and then I got my license
<v Speaker 4>to do hair, and then I was doing makeup and
<v Speaker 4>I was like what am I doing? But then I
<v Speaker 4>realized I had to go back and center myself and
<v Speaker 4>realize I've been in the entertainment industry even before adult
<v Speaker 4>Like I grew up in the entertainment industry. My grandma
<v Speaker 4>was a Pepsi colon model, you know, she worked with
<v Speaker 4>Lucille Ball and I was doing runway and commercials and catalog,
<v Speaker 4>so I kept trying to run from It was weird.
<v Speaker 4>It was like I kept trying to run from what
<v Speaker 4>I knew. And then finally one day I was like, Okay, no, like,
<v Speaker 4>this is this is who I am. It's not a
<v Speaker 4>care whereas a lot of people in the industry, both entertainment,
<v Speaker 4>mainstream and adult play like a character. Where I realized, no, like,
<v Speaker 4>this is really who I am. And once I accepted
<v Speaker 4>that this was my identity, it wasn't just like a
<v Speaker 4>career or something I do.
<v Speaker 3>It's it's my identity. It's all encompassing.
<v Speaker 4>I was able to sit with it and and evolve
<v Speaker 4>with with that, if that makes sense.
<v Speaker 3>So what is your identity? Like who is Brett Rossi?
<v Speaker 3>You know what?
<v Speaker 4>Brett Rossi is very vulnerable. I'm very open with like
<v Speaker 4>my fan base, I share a lot, probably too much.
<v Speaker 3>My team's usually like, hey, delete that. I'm like like
<v Speaker 3>on on TikTok crying. They're like, yo, girl, I'm just
<v Speaker 3>a Your.
<v Speaker 4>Followers don't want that, they're not going to pay for that.
<v Speaker 4>But actually, you guys jerk off to that.
<v Speaker 3>So I don't care, but.
<v Speaker 4>No, I'm just very raw and real and authentic, and
<v Speaker 4>I think Authentic City is the reason why I'm so
<v Speaker 4>lucky that my fan base has continued to, you know,
<v Speaker 4>still support me since twenty eighteen was the last time
<v Speaker 4>I did a mainstream adult movie, like a professionally produced
<v Speaker 4>and I only do solo.
<v Speaker 3>So the fact that.
<v Speaker 4>I still do really really well and I'm very comfortable
<v Speaker 4>with just like, I had to kind of retrain my
<v Speaker 4>fan base because I have a lot of girls asking
<v Speaker 4>me like, oh, I don't want to do boy girl anymore,
<v Speaker 4>a girl girl.
<v Speaker 3>I just want to do solo.
<v Speaker 4>But my fans and you have to train them, and
<v Speaker 4>it takes time because if your fans really do support
<v Speaker 4>you and really do love you and care about you,
<v Speaker 4>which they do, they'll adapt to it, or they'll fall off.
<v Speaker 4>And the ones that fell off will fuck them. You
<v Speaker 4>didn't need them anyways, you know what I because.
<v Speaker 2>And then you'll accumulate new you'll get new new people.
<v Speaker 3>And I honestly get a lot of.
<v Speaker 4>Fans from like random places like YouTube, like at Exotica.
<v Speaker 4>I mean I only have I think like six thousand
<v Speaker 4>and eight thousands somewhere around their subscribers.
<v Speaker 3>I don't have a lot.
<v Speaker 4>My YouTube is just like a passion project. I started
<v Speaker 4>vlogging years ago, just eight hundred years ago.
<v Speaker 3>I was bored. I picked up a camera.
<v Speaker 4>I love editing, I love doing all that stuff, and
<v Speaker 4>I just started like filming me on horse rides or
<v Speaker 4>this is me getting drunk in my kitchen making a
<v Speaker 4>martini or whatever, or behind the scenes of photo shoot.
<v Speaker 4>So I just started or my feature trips, and people
<v Speaker 4>would come up to me all the time and they're like,
<v Speaker 4>I love your vlogs, and I'm like, you watch them,
<v Speaker 4>but like I just I don't know. I just do
<v Speaker 4>them for me and I forget. But they're like, I
<v Speaker 4>became a fan of you because and then I have
<v Speaker 4>a lot of fans of When me and Danny used
<v Speaker 4>to do Vine, Do you remember Vine?
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I do remember. We were big on Vie were
<v Speaker 3>big one. They're so big.
<v Speaker 4>I was like the og Like I was like the
<v Speaker 4>og like TikTok, Like it was like I wanna be yeah,
<v Speaker 4>Like it was like a hybrid of like Snap and TikTok.
<v Speaker 4>It was like five seconds and it would just run
<v Speaker 4>in a loop. Yeah that was og.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I got about that. I have people that are like, yeah,
<v Speaker 3>been fancit's some bind days. I'm like, fine, Wow, that's crazy. Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>So but I think that that's like the biggest thing is,
<v Speaker 4>you know, finding your identity and your brand at the
<v Speaker 4>same time, because you can't just if you want longevity
<v Speaker 4>in this industry, you can't just play a character like
<v Speaker 4>you really have to figure it out.
<v Speaker 3>I just that's just my theory of it all.
<v Speaker 2>Because I think after a while it probably gets exhausted.
<v Speaker 2>Its exhausting, and it's hard to keep up with something
<v Speaker 2>that you don't feel connected to well.
<v Speaker 4>And then you find people get burnt out a lot. Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>and that's when burnout happens. And I was a victim
<v Speaker 4>of burnout, you know. So I've also learned to pace myself.
<v Speaker 4>I've learned to say no because I think you get
<v Speaker 4>especially getting older in the industry, you want to just
<v Speaker 4>say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, because you don't know
<v Speaker 4>when those opportunities are going to come. But you know what,
<v Speaker 4>you make your own opportunities. So that's kind of where
<v Speaker 4>I'm at.
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<v Speaker 2>even your sheets might need a towel. Okay, So, Brett,
<v Speaker 2>you mentioned that you wanted to talk about utilizing your
<v Speaker 2>brand and maximizing income. So what are the smartest business
<v Speaker 2>decisions you've made for yourself in or out of the industry.
<v Speaker 4>The smartest business decisions that I've made in or out
<v Speaker 4>of the industry, well, period is trademarking my name for sure,
<v Speaker 4>and making my own decisions and not I've never, ever, ever,
<v Speaker 4>ever had anyone else make my decisions, whether it was
<v Speaker 4>an agent or a manager or a publicist or whatever.
<v Speaker 4>I am also very very hands on with my brand,
<v Speaker 4>Like we were talking about the podcast and all that stuff,
<v Speaker 4>like and my YouTube videos and my photos, like even
<v Speaker 4>even down to like my professional photos.
<v Speaker 3>I get edited.
<v Speaker 4>Yes, they're sent out to like a team that I
<v Speaker 4>have that edits in, but then they have to send
<v Speaker 4>them back to me and I edit them too. So
<v Speaker 4>I'm very hands on and I'm kind of a control freak.
<v Speaker 3>I just kind of need that, so.
<v Speaker 4>I think, but business wise, I think that it's smart
<v Speaker 4>you have because I think that the biggest mistake is,
<v Speaker 4>especially the bigger your brand gets you kind of you know,
<v Speaker 4>delegate tasks, which it's okay to delegate, it's okay to
<v Speaker 4>let go, but sometimes like with that delegation, you kind
<v Speaker 4>of throw that in the back burner and you forget
<v Speaker 4>to keep an eye on it.
<v Speaker 3>And that's why like.
<v Speaker 4>These girls who get those agencies that run like their
<v Speaker 4>ofs are like why is this happening? And it's like
<v Speaker 4>because your team ran your brand to the ground because
<v Speaker 4>you weren't auditing what's being said and the messages, or
<v Speaker 4>you weren't you know whatever. So I think just being
<v Speaker 4>like really hands on is incredibly important and the smartest
<v Speaker 4>business decision that you can make.
<v Speaker 2>It is definitely important to delegate because you can't grow
<v Speaker 2>in shure, you right, But you're right. You do have
<v Speaker 2>to keep your fingers in all the pipes.
<v Speaker 4>They say, Like I said, I have like a team
<v Speaker 4>who like does the editing, and then I have an assistant.
<v Speaker 4>I have like people who help me, but I'm still
<v Speaker 4>very much like, hey, what's going on over here? But
<v Speaker 4>that is something that I do have to have to
<v Speaker 4>I've always been that way though. I just I do
<v Speaker 4>have to learn to let go a little and I
<v Speaker 4>do like go a little bit.
<v Speaker 3>But I still hang on pretty tight. Yeah, but that
<v Speaker 3>works for me, It doesn't work for everyone, you know
<v Speaker 3>what I mean.
<v Speaker 2>So when you look back at the way you've evolved
<v Speaker 2>your public image, what is something that you're really proud of?
<v Speaker 2>And is there anything that you wish you'd done differently?
<v Speaker 4>So my public image, And actually I didn't come to
<v Speaker 4>this realization until this past weekend because I haven't done
<v Speaker 4>like a convention in so long, and like the last
<v Speaker 4>time I did something was for Avian It was in
<v Speaker 4>twenty twenty four, I like hosted the Red carpet and
<v Speaker 4>did all this stuff for showtime, but I wasn't really
<v Speaker 4>interacting with my peers or fans more so, like the
<v Speaker 4>interaction was very like calculated and like structured versus like
<v Speaker 4>on a casual level. So interacting with like my peers
<v Speaker 4>and fans on more of a casual level for like Exotica,
<v Speaker 4>for example.
<v Speaker 3>I realized that my.
<v Speaker 4>Public image is that I'm like a lot of people
<v Speaker 4>are like, Wow, You're really like I've never heard a
<v Speaker 4>bad thing about you. You're really nice, like blah blah blah,
<v Speaker 4>Like you get along with everyone. All I've heard is
<v Speaker 4>you're very professional and blah blah. And that to me
<v Speaker 4>is so important, And because I think I wished that
<v Speaker 4>back in the day, my image was kind of tarnished
<v Speaker 4>by the people that I was attached to, Like a
<v Speaker 4>lot of people on the misconception that like because my
<v Speaker 4>ex did drugs, I did drugs or Charlie, yeah, because
<v Speaker 4>like I was associated with that person because that was
<v Speaker 4>that person's lifestyle. But what they don't understand is that
<v Speaker 4>that wasn't our lifestyle when we were together, Like we
<v Speaker 4>were monogamous, We didn't do.
<v Speaker 3>That kind of stuff.
<v Speaker 4>My public image, the fact that like everyone knows that,
<v Speaker 4>like I'm respectful, i'm nice, I'm professional, but also to
<v Speaker 4>my fans, I'm authentic, I'm genuine, and I'm real. And
<v Speaker 4>that to me is like a huge compliment because I
<v Speaker 4>think so many people get like their their image in
<v Speaker 4>their head and they kind of become full of themselves.
<v Speaker 4>And it's very easy when you have people kissing your
<v Speaker 4>ass twenty four to seven and you've got ten million
<v Speaker 4>followers and they're like, praise God, I don't care if
<v Speaker 4>you're a bitch, you know what I mean. Like I've
<v Speaker 4>never been that way, and that's something that I've always
<v Speaker 4>really strive to be like that, but not just on
<v Speaker 4>a professional setting, but in like a real life personal setting.
<v Speaker 3>Like I've always tried to just be like a really good.
<v Speaker 4>Person, and I take it so personally, like if someone
<v Speaker 4>doesn't like me, or like if there's drama with somebody,
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, oh my god, we have to fucking fix this,
<v Speaker 4>Like we don't.
<v Speaker 3>Got to be friends.
<v Speaker 4>But please, for the love of God, don't hate me,
<v Speaker 4>because I just that's just something that like I just
<v Speaker 4>take pride in the fact that I'm kind of Switzerland
<v Speaker 4>with everyone, and I don't know.
<v Speaker 3>Maybe some people are like, Eh, well it's you have
<v Speaker 3>to pick a seat. I just like, no, I really don't.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm definitely with you on that. I try to
<v Speaker 2>just be chilling and sometimes I feel like that works
<v Speaker 2>against me a little bit, but I just don't. I
<v Speaker 2>really hate being involved in drama, and especially as I
<v Speaker 2>get older, it's something like, yeah, I don't have a
<v Speaker 2>lot of time in my life for things, and I
<v Speaker 2>don't choose to live my life in like a state
<v Speaker 2>of heightened anxiety.
<v Speaker 4>And that is it because I've been through so much
<v Speaker 4>and I've had so much trauma happen to me, and
<v Speaker 4>excluding my young young childhood, I'm talking just the adulthood
<v Speaker 4>aspect of life.
<v Speaker 3>I've had a lot of.
<v Speaker 4>Unstableness, a lot of anxiety ridden public things, Like I mean,
<v Speaker 4>I was I had somebody in my own home film
<v Speaker 4>me having a mental health crisis, literally having like in
<v Speaker 4>a full blown psychosis and sold it to a tabloid
<v Speaker 4>and I'm like screaming and burning things and lighting fires
<v Speaker 4>in my backyard and like, next thing you know, it's
<v Speaker 4>like on a tabloid. And I think that that really
<v Speaker 4>alters your brain chemistry experiencing something like that because you know, uh,
<v Speaker 4>it really makes you just appreciate like stillness and and
<v Speaker 4>and having having things be calm in life, that when
<v Speaker 4>there's like animosity towards somebody or just something like I
<v Speaker 4>can legitimately say, like I don't have any enemies. I
<v Speaker 4>I don't. I don't like have drama with anyone. Like
<v Speaker 4>I don't dislike anyone. I mean there's people where I'm like,
<v Speaker 4>I probably wouldn't spend my time with them, but like
<v Speaker 4>you know, I'm a pretty fair person.
<v Speaker 3>You don't have any contact with No, really, I don't.
<v Speaker 4>Actually somebody asked me if I did. I assume that
<v Speaker 4>you didn't, But no, I don't. We don't talk. But
<v Speaker 4>last I heard, he was like living in Malibu, and
<v Speaker 4>sadly he's living the life that like I always wanted
<v Speaker 4>him to live with me. But I'm glad that like
<v Speaker 4>he's found his peace and his sobriety and all that stuff,
<v Speaker 4>because like he really needed that. But I guess he's
<v Speaker 4>living like a normal life in Malibu.
<v Speaker 3>He's sober, he's clean.
<v Speaker 4>I guess he's like raising the boys, so he's living.
<v Speaker 4>It was so funny when we were together all I
<v Speaker 4>wanted was for him to like drive us somewhere. I
<v Speaker 4>know that sounds crazy, but I just wanted to drive
<v Speaker 4>to like target, Like that's all I.
<v Speaker 3>Wanted to do, is a normal thing God to just like.
<v Speaker 4>Me and him go to target, get in the car, drive,
<v Speaker 4>no security, but that like we couldn't, especially back then
<v Speaker 4>he was at like you know, like his peak, like
<v Speaker 4>he was just getting off of like.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, he was just getting off of that.
<v Speaker 4>And he was still filming like Anger Management, so he
<v Speaker 4>was still very much in the public eye. So we
<v Speaker 4>never got the ability to have like a normal life
<v Speaker 4>like we would go to like I remember we were
<v Speaker 4>at a restaurant one time and we sat down and
<v Speaker 4>somebody like came over and was like Charlie, and I
<v Speaker 4>would get you know, I coming from somebody who has
<v Speaker 4>a fan base herself nothing compared to like that, was like, yeah,
<v Speaker 4>you know, monstrous. But I tried to be understanding. But
<v Speaker 4>at the same time, I'd be like, do you have
<v Speaker 4>to yell his name? Because now the whole restaurant knows
<v Speaker 4>he's here, and now our guess what. Now our dinner
<v Speaker 4>is more is hit like a line of people coming
<v Speaker 4>over and asking for autographs and photos and pictures, and
<v Speaker 4>so that was very hard because a lot of people
<v Speaker 4>are like, oh, you knew what you were getting into
<v Speaker 4>when you got with Charlie, and it's like I didn't.
<v Speaker 4>He was not my era, like when it comes to
<v Speaker 4>like celebrities. I just was attracted to this like older
<v Speaker 4>hot guy that I knew he was an actor, but
<v Speaker 4>I didn't, And I knew he was a celebrity, but
<v Speaker 4>I didn't know. Honestly, I didn't know the caliber of
<v Speaker 4>like how big of a celebt he was until we
<v Speaker 4>went to Spain. We went to Spain and we saw
<v Speaker 4>the Running of the Bulls because I had always wanted
<v Speaker 4>to see that, And we went to Spain, saw the
<v Speaker 4>running of the bulls, and somebody tipped off the hotel.
<v Speaker 4>Somebody at the hotel tipped off that we were there,
<v Speaker 4>and I remember we were walking from our hotel to
<v Speaker 4>our car and there was the biggest mob of people
<v Speaker 4>I've ever seen, like people climbing on our car, like
<v Speaker 4>banging on the It was so traumatic. I was so scared.
<v Speaker 4>But that was when I was like, oh shit, I'm
<v Speaker 4>like I'm gonna like and we were engaged. Then I
<v Speaker 4>was like, oh my god, like I'm getting married to
<v Speaker 4>this person, like this is our life?
<v Speaker 3>Like what did he handle situations? Like he was.
<v Speaker 4>Really great with his fans, Like I will say that
<v Speaker 4>about him, like he was so and we used to
<v Speaker 4>argue about it because he was so great that I
<v Speaker 4>think sometimes he would kind of ignore boundaries like Okay, hey, yeah,
<v Speaker 4>I'd love to take a picture with you, but can
<v Speaker 4>me and my fiance finish our dinner first and then
<v Speaker 4>we can take.
<v Speaker 3>The way out.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, Like I wish that he would have had more boundaries,
<v Speaker 4>And that was something that we had a lot of
<v Speaker 4>disagreements about because it wasn't that I didn't want him,
<v Speaker 4>and his fans were like fans of mine too, and
<v Speaker 4>they'd be like, wait, no, I want a picture of you,
<v Speaker 4>and I'm like who me, Like why, Like who am
<v Speaker 4>I like compared to like this, you know, Hollywood royalty
<v Speaker 4>comes from like a family of royalty. So but that
<v Speaker 4>was very, very very hard, and that really changed the
<v Speaker 4>trajectory of my life because my life was never the
<v Speaker 4>same after that. I mean when we broke up, like
<v Speaker 4>paparazzi were like sitting in front of my house, like
<v Speaker 4>taking pictures of me leaving Starbucks, and I was only
<v Speaker 4>twenty five years old, and I'm going through a breakup
<v Speaker 4>of not just a boyfriend but my fiance. And we
<v Speaker 4>broke up three weeks before our wedding. And this is
<v Speaker 4>very public, and this is not just public like oh
<v Speaker 4>our friends know, but like the whole world, like TMZ.
<v Speaker 3>Fox News, E News. People were waiting.
<v Speaker 4>Out front of my door, Hey, how do you feel
<v Speaker 4>about this? And it's like, well, how do you think
<v Speaker 4>I feel? Like how do you think I feel?
<v Speaker 2>You know?
<v Speaker 3>And then all of your all of.
<v Speaker 4>Your your your your dirty laundry gets aired out and
<v Speaker 4>we had a mole in our house and somebody kept
<v Speaker 4>leaking stories to the press that were awful about me
<v Speaker 4>and like, oh, she's a brideziller, she's this, or she's
<v Speaker 4>getting so and so fired.
<v Speaker 3>And I wasn't.
<v Speaker 4>I wasn't like that at all. I didn't even want
<v Speaker 4>a wedding. He wanted the wedding. I was like embarrassed.
<v Speaker 4>And we had this like huge engagement party that you went.
<v Speaker 3>To, Yes, I remember, I think I still from that. Yeah, gone,
<v Speaker 3>we had this huge engagement party.
<v Speaker 4>But I was actually I don't know if you remember,
<v Speaker 4>but I was like very shy at it because I
<v Speaker 4>was gonna be like, I don't know his third or
<v Speaker 4>fourth wife, And to me, that was like, oh my god.
<v Speaker 4>I in my mind, I was like, everyone's got I
<v Speaker 4>got two strikes, three strikes against me.
<v Speaker 3>One I'm a born star.
<v Speaker 4>Two oh god, it's his third or fourth wedding. Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>and three I was young. So but a lot of
<v Speaker 4>people don't realize that I'm like a very old soul.
<v Speaker 4>And all to circle back to what he's doing now
<v Speaker 4>or what I've been told, is that I always fought
<v Speaker 4>for his sobriety and I used to.
<v Speaker 3>Talk to you about that all the time.
<v Speaker 4>I always fought for Charlie's sobriety and so hearing that
<v Speaker 4>he's living that life now and he's living a much
<v Speaker 4>more quieter lifestyle like that makes me happy, even if
<v Speaker 4>I couldn't share that with.
<v Speaker 3>Him, you know.
<v Speaker 2>So, I mean, that's one hell of a thing to
<v Speaker 2>have to live through. I mean I can't either, Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>I mean, And it's not like I just dated a
<v Speaker 4>reality star like this was like Hollywood Royalty, likeeah, I mean,
<v Speaker 4>shit up next, I should like hit up Sean Penn
<v Speaker 4>or something, just kidding.
<v Speaker 2>Even Sean Penn, Like wash, Actually I met Sean.
<v Speaker 3>Did I tell you the Sean story?
<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, I cooked Sean eggs for breakfast one day.
<v Speaker 4>Sean was the coolest guy ever. He came over and Sean,
<v Speaker 4>you would think, oh my god, this is Sean Penn.
<v Speaker 3>Right. He came to our house.
<v Speaker 4>I don't know why he came over, but he came
<v Speaker 4>over and it was like breakfast time. I cannot cook
<v Speaker 4>for shit, and I was like, well, I gotta be
<v Speaker 4>like the wife and knew something. So I was like,
<v Speaker 4>I'll make eggs. And I had like one of those
<v Speaker 4>waffle little mini stick makers, so I mean like scrambled
<v Speaker 4>eggs and these waffle things. Sean rolls up. You would
<v Speaker 4>think he'd roll up in like this badass car. He
<v Speaker 4>rolls up in this like hoopedy, run down, fucked up
<v Speaker 4>truck pulls in front of our house. He walks in.
<v Speaker 4>He like smells like a cart and of cigarettes. He's
<v Speaker 4>wearing clothes from probably nineteen ninety two.
<v Speaker 3>And he eats my breakfast and he's like this is amazing.
<v Speaker 4>And I'm like, you, sir, are a good liar, but
<v Speaker 4>thank you very much for I know that my food
<v Speaker 4>is disgusting, so thank you.
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, so.
<v Speaker 4>But my but that was like my life, Like, oh yeah,
<v Speaker 4>Sean's coming over.
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, oh okay, like thinking.
<v Speaker 4>Like that Sean, like some guy named Sean, and then
<v Speaker 4>Sean Penn walks in and you're like hello, like uh,
<v Speaker 4>I just made breakfast for Sean Penn, Like yeah, you know.
<v Speaker 4>We would just like the life like Paris Hilton was
<v Speaker 4>our neighbor and we would go to dinner with Larry
<v Speaker 4>King and like, uh, you know, just there was just
<v Speaker 4>so many surreal moments that like I look back and
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, oh my god, Like it definitely alters your
<v Speaker 4>brain chemistry because like I've also seen things that people
<v Speaker 4>would be like, oh, that's only a movie.
<v Speaker 2>So I'm like, no, is a part of you glad
<v Speaker 2>that you didn't end up like marrying him and getting
<v Speaker 2>sucked into that whole lifestyle, because I feel like you're right,
<v Speaker 2>like you get sucked in that kind of celebrity, especially
<v Speaker 2>that level, and I feel like it it has.
<v Speaker 3>To change you on some level.
<v Speaker 2>I mean, how can you ever be the same again
<v Speaker 2>because people will never eat you the same way, Like
<v Speaker 2>you're not surrounded by people who are real, you don't
<v Speaker 2>live in the same way.
<v Speaker 4>It did it did it did change. It changed me
<v Speaker 4>even in that short time, and not changed me like,
<v Speaker 4>oh I thought it was better than people.
<v Speaker 3>It changed me.
<v Speaker 4>Because I lost trust for people. Yeah, I think before
<v Speaker 4>them I was so naive. But if I would have
<v Speaker 4>been with any celebrity, I think the safest person ironically
<v Speaker 4>to have been with, to have stay stayed, stayed centered,
<v Speaker 4>would have been him. And the reason being is because
<v Speaker 4>he was a firmly or a if you don't read it, it
<v Speaker 4>doesn't exist.
<v Speaker 3>He didn't.
<v Speaker 4>He didn't fall into the fodder of like that lifestyle.
<v Speaker 4>I mean I wore Target clothes, like I shopped at
<v Speaker 4>you know, Ralphs when we needed grow like I was
<v Speaker 4>very still grounded, like I picked up the dog poop
<v Speaker 4>like it. Whereas you know, other people at his level
<v Speaker 4>are kind of not not centered and not grounded. I
<v Speaker 4>think I think that's a lot that's attributed a lot
<v Speaker 4>because of his mother and his father, because they still
<v Speaker 4>live in the same house in Malibu that they've lived
<v Speaker 4>in since like the seventies. They his mom soil goes
<v Speaker 4>to you know, the farmer's market, like they were very
<v Speaker 4>normal people. You walk in their houses like it looks
<v Speaker 4>like it's still decorated in the eighties and there's like
<v Speaker 4>religious crosses everywhere and they're just very normal. So I
<v Speaker 4>think that the normalcy, like if I would have been
<v Speaker 4>in that lifestyle, that would have been the safest area
<v Speaker 4>for me to be in or person to be with.
<v Speaker 4>I know that sounds insane, yeah, but I'm talking grounded wise,
<v Speaker 4>because there's so many we would meet people and I'm like,
<v Speaker 4>why are they like that?
<v Speaker 3>And he'd be like, you know, so like if it
<v Speaker 3>wasn't for the drugs, he might.
<v Speaker 4>Have Yeah, no, No, Honestly, like Charlie Charlie, Charlie was
<v Speaker 4>an incredible partner whenever he was so were and clean,
<v Speaker 4>he really was, and he's a really good person like
<v Speaker 4>outside of that. So it actually when we talk about
<v Speaker 4>like how it changed me, I think it definitely taught
<v Speaker 4>me to see that that because I never experienced like
<v Speaker 4>addiction or anything like that, that it showed me a
<v Speaker 4>different side of like, yeah, that person can be a
<v Speaker 4>totally different person, and it was really hard to grapple with,
<v Speaker 4>like understanding how a good person could be a terrible
<v Speaker 4>person at the same time.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean it really changes you, and I think
<v Speaker 2>that that's something that makes joining, you know, a community
<v Speaker 2>or a program like AA or any other kind of yeah,
<v Speaker 2>program where you can meet are the people who are
<v Speaker 2>struggling with the same thing as you, because to explain
<v Speaker 2>addiction to someone who doesn't have it is pretty much
<v Speaker 2>impossible because it is also like it doesn't make sense,
<v Speaker 2>Like I, you know, am like a recovering alcoholic. By
<v Speaker 2>the way, I'll have seven years on Sunday.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, lucky number seven.
<v Speaker 2>So that was the and I hit seven years the
<v Speaker 2>first time and then I relapsed, so like I'm gonna
<v Speaker 2>make it to eight. Yeah, this is like my my
<v Speaker 2>point where I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna make it your facet. Also,
<v Speaker 2>I relapsed on accident because I ate an edible on
<v Speaker 2>a Twisty shoot, which is.
<v Speaker 3>Why because we were in Costa Rica. Wait was this
<v Speaker 3>my god? Did you you should.
<v Speaker 4>Own about the Twisty's contract Star days when we went
<v Speaker 4>on trips me Emily and Taylor. But yeah, that was
<v Speaker 4>But yes, to answer your question, it did change me
<v Speaker 4>and it would have changed me. But I think that
<v Speaker 4>if there was anyone I would have I would have
<v Speaker 4>been sheltered, is I think the appropriate term. Ironically, people
<v Speaker 4>are like, how can you be as Charlie sheen and
<v Speaker 4>that be the safest place to be. But they just
<v Speaker 4>don't understand what I'm trying to say, if that's their
<v Speaker 4>thought process after everything I just said, Yeah, I mean
<v Speaker 4>everything I just said, and I'm not And this is
<v Speaker 4>actually interesting that we're talking about this because, like, you know, me,
<v Speaker 4>like I don't really talk about it. I don't really
<v Speaker 4>open up like I don't a lot of people, Like
<v Speaker 4>my last partner, he was probably the first person that
<v Speaker 4>I and before him, I was with somebody for eight years.
<v Speaker 4>So I think that my last partner was probably the
<v Speaker 4>last person I ever truly like opened up to about that.
<v Speaker 4>And this is probably the most I've talked about it
<v Speaker 4>in a really long time or actually ever.
<v Speaker 2>So there you go, There you go, There you go.
<v Speaker 2>See we told TikTok that we were gonna and then
<v Speaker 2>we were right. Yeah, okay, so let's let's move on
<v Speaker 2>to more about you. Yeah, so reinvention obviously seems to
<v Speaker 2>be is a huge theme in your life. Was there
<v Speaker 2>ever a moment when you felt like you had to
<v Speaker 2>completely start over? And I'm feeling like, maybe was it
<v Speaker 2>after your breakup with Charlie?
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, after my breakup with Charlie. I had to totally
<v Speaker 4>reinvent myself because I had I thought that I was
<v Speaker 4>going to be.
<v Speaker 3>I thought I was going to be a wife. I
<v Speaker 3>thought I was going to be a mom.
<v Speaker 4>I thought that that Brett ROSSI was kind of done
<v Speaker 4>and over with. And that's not to say that like
<v Speaker 4>I had any ill feelings towards the industry. It was
<v Speaker 4>just that that I was marrying essentially into royalty, you know,
<v Speaker 4>like I was basically getting the dream that everyone thought,
<v Speaker 4>and my reality crumbled in front of me. And I
<v Speaker 4>was only twenty five, and I wasn't sure if I
<v Speaker 4>wanted to go back into the industry. And not only that,
<v Speaker 4>but there were circumstances that like, I'm not going to
<v Speaker 4>devil deep into but all you have to do is
<v Speaker 4>google that the industry would accept me back because of
<v Speaker 4>like his health situation, and I had the scarlet letter. Ironically,
<v Speaker 4>the industry talks about like, oh, yeah, when you join,
<v Speaker 4>you get the scarlet letter in the society won well,
<v Speaker 4>we're all accepting.
<v Speaker 3>Well, guess what.
<v Speaker 4>The industry was not nice to me when me and
<v Speaker 4>Charlie split and the news came out that he had AHIV.
<v Speaker 3>A lot of people in the industry.
<v Speaker 4>Talked a lot about me behind my back, saying that
<v Speaker 4>I had HIV and I was this and I was
<v Speaker 4>sad and knew why would you work with her? And
<v Speaker 4>it took tests. I would have people who like I
<v Speaker 4>hooked up with like asked me like, oh, you don't
<v Speaker 4>have HIV?
<v Speaker 2>Do you?
<v Speaker 3>And it's like, don't you get tested like I get tested?
<v Speaker 4>Like I was just on a set, like, and so
<v Speaker 4>I had a lot of insecurity issues. And it wasn't
<v Speaker 4>with my looks ever, or with my performance or my professionalism.
<v Speaker 4>It was more so like, oh my god, if my
<v Speaker 4>scene partner finds out that, like my ex has HIV,
<v Speaker 4>are they going to still want to work with me,
<v Speaker 4>even though I have a clean test like I tested
<v Speaker 4>and I was under a doctor's care when we were together,
<v Speaker 4>and so I do not have HIV, thank god. But
<v Speaker 4>it was the way people were so cold and callous
<v Speaker 4>towards me about it and the way they would ask me.
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, it's like so rude, like who just like
<v Speaker 4>walks up to you and just like you know, and
<v Speaker 4>it's look, in our industry, you have to ask these questions.
<v Speaker 4>But there's a way to ask them and like, if
<v Speaker 4>you're performing with me, you have every right to ask me.
<v Speaker 4>But Joe Schmoe on the corner who heard doesn't have
<v Speaker 4>the right to ask me that. And for years and
<v Speaker 4>I still sometimes get comments like oh you HIV whrror
<v Speaker 4>And I get those comments still to this day, and
<v Speaker 4>a lot of actually just people someone that Exotica came
<v Speaker 4>up to me of I don't say FAM because that
<v Speaker 4>was not appropriate how he approached me, but he asked
<v Speaker 4>me if I had HIV, like just just flat out
<v Speaker 4>like ask me. And so that reinvents of being associated.
<v Speaker 2>The ignorance that people have about HIV, and like the
<v Speaker 2>progression of drugs and treatment and how we handle HIV
<v Speaker 2>these days is like astounding, even within the adult industry.
<v Speaker 4>Well, a fun fact that a lot of people don't
<v Speaker 4>know is that I was one of the first people
<v Speaker 4>to actually take PREP before it was PREP.
<v Speaker 3>Oh interest.
<v Speaker 4>So back then, which was like ten years ago, there
<v Speaker 4>was three pills. There was a blue and white and
<v Speaker 4>a red pill that they would take. And when I
<v Speaker 4>found out the situation that I found out, I was
<v Speaker 4>going to marry this person, so I was like, well,
<v Speaker 4>I'm already balls to the law, So you know, but
<v Speaker 4>we obviously took precautionary measures. So we were like, well,
<v Speaker 4>what can we do And one of the doctors was like,
<v Speaker 4>you can take one pill and it's kind of like
<v Speaker 4>a PREP. It's it's not FDA approved yet as a preventory,
<v Speaker 4>a preventative.
<v Speaker 2>You know, can you explain to people who may not
<v Speaker 2>because it's okay, may not know what PREP is.
<v Speaker 4>Okay, So PREP is basically and now it may be
<v Speaker 4>different than when I started taking, but PREP is a
<v Speaker 4>pill that you take that helps prevent contracting HIV the
<v Speaker 4>virus should you be exposed to.
<v Speaker 3>The virus, because how it works.
<v Speaker 4>And I don't know a lot about HIV and the
<v Speaker 4>medications that are out there now, but back then and
<v Speaker 4>I'm sure that's how it is now. You have to
<v Speaker 4>take your dose every day. You have to be religious
<v Speaker 4>about your medication because if you're not, then your viral
<v Speaker 4>load will raise. And if your viral load is raised,
<v Speaker 4>that is when you are more contagious. Whereas if your load,
<v Speaker 4>if your levels are say zero, the chances of you
<v Speaker 4>contracting HIV are very very very very very very low,
<v Speaker 4>almost impossible, which is why people like Magic Johnson would
<v Speaker 4>be able to test and they would be like, oh.
<v Speaker 3>Magic Johnson doesn't have it anymore. No, he still has.
<v Speaker 3>I mean I don't know now he probably doesn't.
<v Speaker 4>Now they probably have medication out there, but I haven't.
<v Speaker 4>I used to be such a huge advocate and be
<v Speaker 4>so involved with it because I experienced it, But now
<v Speaker 4>I'm not so much educated but just based off of
<v Speaker 4>what my previous education from it was. That's what PREP is,
<v Speaker 4>and now it's under I'm under the impression that performers
<v Speaker 4>actively take PREP.
<v Speaker 2>It's very popular in the gay perform definitely gay performer
<v Speaker 2>and then some female performers take it now too.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, if you're having unprotected wild you know, interactions with
<v Speaker 4>people that you may not know or they may not know,
<v Speaker 4>because a lot of the times it's not like someone's
<v Speaker 4>going out there being an asshole and just you know,
<v Speaker 4>it's a lot of the times they don't know that
<v Speaker 4>they haven't, which is crazy to me because when you
<v Speaker 4>first get sick, you get very, very very ill. From
<v Speaker 4>what he had described to me, it was the worst
<v Speaker 4>flu you had ever experienced in your life, so you
<v Speaker 4>felt like you were literally dying. So I was taking preps.
<v Speaker 4>So when I came out, I did have to reinvent
<v Speaker 4>myself because my name was like, great, I'm a crackhead,
<v Speaker 4>I've got HIV, you know, So it wasn't cool to
<v Speaker 4>be associated with like the celebrity that I was associated
<v Speaker 4>with because unfortunately he was going through a hard time,
<v Speaker 4>you know, so his hard time, I was tethered to that.
<v Speaker 4>So I had to reinvent myself. And a lot of
<v Speaker 4>it was just like, you know, a lot of therapy,
<v Speaker 4>a lot of just like accepting that this is what
<v Speaker 4>it is and that hopefully one day it'll go away.
<v Speaker 4>And I mean, I'm thankful that, you know, I don't
<v Speaker 4>get it as often anymore, but I still do get
<v Speaker 4>it sometimes, and it makes me.
<v Speaker 3>Sad because it's like.
<v Speaker 4>It's just it makes me sad because that was somebody
<v Speaker 4>I loved, you know. So it's like what I think
<v Speaker 4>when people come up to me, they just think it
<v Speaker 4>was just some like I was just some hired escort,
<v Speaker 4>which gold digger.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm sure you got all that stuff. Yeah, but
<v Speaker 3>that was not that. That was not the narrative at all.
<v Speaker 4>That that or the reality of it, That was not it.
<v Speaker 4>But the narrative was that I was this person. And
<v Speaker 4>so I think reinventing yourself from that is very, very
<v Speaker 4>very hard, both professionally but personally.
<v Speaker 3>I went through a lot of you know, I had.
<v Speaker 4>A lot of mental health issues, and I had a
<v Speaker 4>lot of Sadly, you know, I had a suicide attempt
<v Speaker 4>and I almost died and that changed my life forever.
<v Speaker 4>So I think that, you know, reinvention is so important,
<v Speaker 4>but being resilient is even more important.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what do you think is like the greatest life
<v Speaker 2>lesson that you took away from that whole experience.
<v Speaker 4>The greatest life lesson that I took away would have
<v Speaker 4>been nothing lasts forever. So when they say pain is
<v Speaker 4>only temporary, it is whether it's mental or physical pain
<v Speaker 4>like it's it will it will eventually pass. It will
<v Speaker 4>eventually pass. You just have to hang on like you
<v Speaker 4>really do. And now I've gone through a recent situation
<v Speaker 4>where I kind of experienced like a dark that darkness
<v Speaker 4>that I hadn't visited in a very long time. And
<v Speaker 4>so I think that that's kind of what has helped
<v Speaker 4>me is just to you know, recall that like it's
<v Speaker 4>only temporary and life is ever evolving, Like, holy shit,
<v Speaker 4>that was my life and then this was my life
<v Speaker 4>and it's like I've had so many different lives and
<v Speaker 4>one lifetime that I'm like, well, I can't be like, I.
<v Speaker 3>Mean, shit, what's next? You know what I mean?
<v Speaker 4>So I think that that's really important is just to
<v Speaker 4>learn to be resilient.
<v Speaker 2>How do you personally define success today versus when you
<v Speaker 2>first started in the industry?
<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh.
<v Speaker 4>So when I first started the industry's success was just
<v Speaker 4>like money, money, money, money, money, money, and paying off
<v Speaker 4>my credit card debt because like I had been living
<v Speaker 4>on my own since I was seventeen, so like I
<v Speaker 4>react up the debt, you know. So when I finally
<v Speaker 4>was debt free, and then when I experienced having everything
<v Speaker 4>and then having nothing, like the definition of success definitely
<v Speaker 4>changed to me. I think success is more longevity. It
<v Speaker 4>doesn't have to be up here all the time, like
<v Speaker 4>you can be here, you don't have to be here,
<v Speaker 4>and you don't have to be here, like you can
<v Speaker 4>be here and be okay. And that I think accepting
<v Speaker 4>that and learning that, like you don't have to be
<v Speaker 4>the best of the best.
<v Speaker 3>I mean, look, if you're not for a sue lass
<v Speaker 3>but just saying but.
<v Speaker 4>I'm just s but like you know, you know, like
<v Speaker 4>you don't have to constantly try to like be better, like, oh,
<v Speaker 4>that person has ten million followers, Like what are they
<v Speaker 4>doing that's better than me? You can strive for that,
<v Speaker 4>but like, dude, you still have like a million followers
<v Speaker 4>or you still have two million or ten million or whatever.
<v Speaker 4>You know, So just being consistent is success consistency.
<v Speaker 2>So now you are you're starting your own podcasts? Yeah,
<v Speaker 2>called stripped. So what made you want to launch a podcast?
<v Speaker 3>Why now? And what is this one about?
<v Speaker 4>Okay, so I'm a talker obviously if you guys haven't noticed,
<v Speaker 4>so stripped is basically it is. It is ironically not
<v Speaker 4>adult focused. It's the entire entertainment industry. I'm escorts, dominatrix, strippers,
<v Speaker 4>show girls, features, directors, producers. I have friends that are
<v Speaker 4>pop rock see that are going to be on actors, comics,
<v Speaker 4>you know. I have a friend who he's a doctor
<v Speaker 4>to the stars, like anyone who is associated with the
<v Speaker 4>entertainment industry.
<v Speaker 3>And Stripped is basically about.
<v Speaker 4>Showing your vulnerability and discussing what it took to get
<v Speaker 4>to where you are today and just kind of like
<v Speaker 4>stripping you raw and my guests that are going to
<v Speaker 4>be on, are gonna, you know, tell stories about like
<v Speaker 4>you know, I don't know something like I'm not gonna
<v Speaker 4>give too much away. But there's this one girl who
<v Speaker 4>was on that I interviewed, and she talked about how
<v Speaker 4>this dude died that she was dancing out a club
<v Speaker 4>with like just crazy stuff but like the story's funny,
<v Speaker 4>Like it's not funny that the dude died, but like
<v Speaker 4>just really encompassing being vulnerable. And I think that I
<v Speaker 4>just wanted to create a space where people could be
<v Speaker 4>vulnerable and talk about like what they went through to
<v Speaker 4>get there. Like I mean, not everyone had unicorns and rape.
<v Speaker 4>Like I was lucky. I I've pretty much had a
<v Speaker 4>pretty cush career, Like I didn't I have it growing up.
<v Speaker 4>I didn't really have anything like terrible happened to me
<v Speaker 4>where like I wasn't like an orphan or something like that.
<v Speaker 4>But like there are people who really had to go
<v Speaker 4>through the trenches to get to where they are today.
<v Speaker 4>And so it's it's gonna be funny, it's gonna be real,
<v Speaker 4>it's gonna be sad, it's gonna be raw, and so
<v Speaker 4>I'm really excited and I just wanted I just wanted
<v Speaker 4>another passion project.
<v Speaker 3>I'm all about passion projects. So I was like, you
<v Speaker 3>know what, I'm a talker, this looks.
<v Speaker 4>Great, and yeah, so it's it's we're gonna we're gonna
<v Speaker 4>have local guests and then we're also gonna have guests
<v Speaker 4>that you know obviously can't make it, so they'll be
<v Speaker 4>zoomed in. And so it's gonna be it's gonna be exciting,
<v Speaker 4>and I hope that people tune in and give a shit.
<v Speaker 3>Is it gonna be audio d boat.
<v Speaker 4>Yes, it's gonna be both, but my primary focus is
<v Speaker 4>definitely going to be audio.
<v Speaker 3>The visuals. I'm going to use them for social media,
<v Speaker 3>you know.
<v Speaker 2>Uh yeah, you gotta get like the wheels, and so
<v Speaker 2>I'll probably be like.
<v Speaker 3>Calling you for advice and stuff. I'm open to anyone,
<v Speaker 3>I know.
<v Speaker 4>Right, I keep asking everyone that I know that has
<v Speaker 4>like a podcast. I'm like, I know, don't roll your
<v Speaker 4>eyes at me. When I said that I wanted to
<v Speaker 4>do a podcast, I was like.
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, so many people are gonna roll their
<v Speaker 3>eyes at me.
<v Speaker 4>But it was actually something that like my ex and
<v Speaker 4>I had come up with, like he had owned a
<v Speaker 4>club and we were he has features every weekend and
<v Speaker 4>his club is like the biggest for future entertainers and
<v Speaker 4>he has a great club, and you know, he he's
<v Speaker 4>a great guy and I'm a great gal, So like,
<v Speaker 4>why not create this podcast? So we were going to
<v Speaker 4>do this podcast together. But when we split, I was like,
<v Speaker 4>you know what, I need a project, and so I
<v Speaker 4>was like, this is what I'm going to do. Like
<v Speaker 4>I don't have enough on my plate, but I was like,
<v Speaker 4>I want to do this. So and we were.
<v Speaker 3>Going to call it Stripped because you know, strippers and
<v Speaker 3>getting stripped.
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, yeah, I mean I am obviously not rolling
<v Speaker 2>my eyes. I think that it's it's funny because when
<v Speaker 2>I got into it, like we were just it was
<v Speaker 2>eight years ago, so crazy. I thought that like I
<v Speaker 2>was like too late then at that point, yeah, a
<v Speaker 2>lot people are doing this, but I don't know, is
<v Speaker 2>it too late. But obviously it was like a great,
<v Speaker 2>you know, thing to get into. But it's still growing immensely.
<v Speaker 2>I did a lot of research.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, like a lot of people quit within the first
<v Speaker 4>like couple months, so I'm like, okay, cool, So as
<v Speaker 4>long as I don't quit, the.
<v Speaker 2>Bar is pretty low. Yeah, I mean, it's it's not
<v Speaker 2>hard to like get past. Yeah, and you already have
<v Speaker 2>obviously a following. I mean you're way ahead of everybody
<v Speaker 2>in so many ways because you already have a following.
<v Speaker 2>You have a lot of like media experience, right, so
<v Speaker 2>you know how to talk on camera. Yeah, you have
<v Speaker 2>the connections, you have the interesting people that you can
<v Speaker 2>bring on, and you have you know, people that you
<v Speaker 2>can consult with about getting it up, and you know
<v Speaker 2>you understand like filming and like right, so there's so
<v Speaker 2>many things that you have that is going to make
<v Speaker 2>this so much easier.
<v Speaker 4>Is so scary, like because I am so hands on,
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, no, I want to figure it. Like me
<v Speaker 4>and Mike Adams got like an argument on the phone
<v Speaker 4>the other day because he's.
<v Speaker 3>Like I just don't understand.
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, just fucking tell me if this is the
<v Speaker 4>correct mixer that I need, you know, And he's like, well.
<v Speaker 3>I don't understand why you can't.
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, you're not answering my question and he's like, well,
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, Like I haven't fucking directed in like
<v Speaker 4>three years.
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, dude. So then I called Quasar and I
<v Speaker 3>was like, can you just help me?
<v Speaker 4>Like just all I want to know, is is this
<v Speaker 4>the fucking appropriate mixer?
<v Speaker 3>Like is it too much or is it not? Or
<v Speaker 3>is it what? And Quasar was like, I got you, girl,
<v Speaker 3>so like you know.
<v Speaker 2>Give me some I think we like what the black
<v Speaker 2>Magic ATM one, right, Yeah, Louise, I'm.
<v Speaker 3>Like, I'm like, dude, I have this makes when I'm
<v Speaker 3>like I don't even fucking not need this. I'm like,
<v Speaker 3>I'm just gonna figure it out, but you know whatever whatever.
<v Speaker 2>But I think it's also like for somebody who's already
<v Speaker 2>got an established brand, even if like the podcast itself
<v Speaker 2>doesn't make money in itself, and it's not easy to
<v Speaker 2>make money with a podcast doing it to make money,
<v Speaker 2>that's crazy even so, like like my podcast can't really
<v Speaker 2>support itself on its own, like it's that's.
<v Speaker 3>Why the Patreon and but.
<v Speaker 2>Even that, like like I couldn't if I didn't have
<v Speaker 2>everything else in my life, Like I could not live
<v Speaker 2>on this alone, like not support me. But it has
<v Speaker 2>enabled me to do so many other projects and has
<v Speaker 2>brought me other opportunities. And this funneled it's a great
<v Speaker 2>traffic funnel.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And that's what I'm always.
<v Speaker 2>Which is and you have those other places that you
<v Speaker 2>can monetize, so like, sure, it totally makes sense for you.
<v Speaker 4>That's what I'm always and I'm always like I have
<v Speaker 4>an o F TV channel, and like I'm always thinking of.
<v Speaker 3>My brain is always traffic, traffic, traffic, traffic, Like.
<v Speaker 4>Even if it's like my YouTube, even if it doesn't
<v Speaker 4>make me money, like I'm still getting traffic from it,
<v Speaker 4>Like my tiktoks, like they don't make me money.
<v Speaker 3>Like I could I could easily.
<v Speaker 4>Start talking about the industry or whatever, but that's not
<v Speaker 4>that's I'm very with my brand. I'm very careful with
<v Speaker 4>how I craft it because I do want it to
<v Speaker 4>be accepted in the mainstream world. So I'm very very
<v Speaker 4>careful with how much Brett Rossi encompasses adults still, which
<v Speaker 4>I don't look down at adult adult is the reason
<v Speaker 4>why I am where I am today, and it pays
<v Speaker 4>my bills, like hello OnlyFans. But you know, I have
<v Speaker 4>been lucky that I have so many different projects that
<v Speaker 4>aren't just in that realm. And I think that that's
<v Speaker 4>because you just have to be really careful. You just
<v Speaker 4>have to be crafty with it, you know what I mean.
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, I'm it's just a passion project and if
<v Speaker 4>it does really well, cool, like if I'm the next
<v Speaker 4>call her daddy, like you know, just yeah, like we
<v Speaker 4>can all wish, right yea, hey, hey the barstool want
<v Speaker 4>to give me like a I'm me I would leaving
<v Speaker 4>like a fifty thousand dollars contract.
<v Speaker 3>I'll take a dollar contract and shit, that's like.
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm a big believer at throwing spaghetti at
<v Speaker 2>a wall and that's.
<v Speaker 3>What I do.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, with everything in my life, I'm like, yeah, you know,
<v Speaker 4>just throw it. And I recently went through this like
<v Speaker 4>revelation where like my whole career, this is going to
<v Speaker 4>sound so terrible, but I'm just very lucky. I've only
<v Speaker 4>really ever given kind of like fifty percent. The rest
<v Speaker 4>have kind of just like been lucky and coasted and
<v Speaker 4>gotten these opportunities handed to me. And when I say
<v Speaker 4>handed to me, yes, they were handed to me. I
<v Speaker 4>was just right place, right time, right contract, right connection
<v Speaker 4>or whatever. But now I'm in this era where I'm
<v Speaker 4>like one hundred percent, Like I am pushing myself one
<v Speaker 4>hundred percent, and I'm like, well, if I got that,
<v Speaker 4>like you a fifty percent, Like damn, what's gonna happen
<v Speaker 4>when I actually give a shit. So so yeah, it's
<v Speaker 4>kind of just like my my thing.
<v Speaker 3>But I wanted to give I wanted.
<v Speaker 4>I wanted to give everyone, Like I have a friend
<v Speaker 4>who he's a director, he does horror movies, and like,
<v Speaker 4>I want to give everyone a platform where they can
<v Speaker 4>like be vulnerable. And just because you're vulnerable doesn't mean
<v Speaker 4>it has to be like so deep, like it can
<v Speaker 4>still you can be vulnerable and funny as fuck, you
<v Speaker 4>know what I mean.
<v Speaker 3>So it's just gonna be like a good.
<v Speaker 4>Place for people to just like safely talk about whatever.
<v Speaker 3>If they were like on.
<v Speaker 4>The street shooting up Heroin and then now they're like
<v Speaker 4>the biggest star in the world on porn hub. You
<v Speaker 4>never know, yeah, I mean, don't google like biggest star
<v Speaker 4>and then then think that, like I'm saying, she does Haroin,
<v Speaker 4>Like I don't even know.
<v Speaker 3>I just thought that.
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, great, someone's gonna make who is number one
<v Speaker 4>porn Hub?
<v Speaker 3>Oh she was doing Heroin. I'm like, I'm going.
<v Speaker 2>To make Angela wait and I can tell you right now,
<v Speaker 2>and she does not do her No angel Oh my gosh.
<v Speaker 2>I remember when I like, Angela.
<v Speaker 3>Still away from me?
<v Speaker 4>Angela's still lived in Australia.
<v Speaker 3>When I met her, she is so great.
<v Speaker 4>We were we were on tour with It was when
<v Speaker 4>I was contracted with Twisties. We were on me Phoenix,
<v Speaker 4>Marie and a couple others were on tour with Steel Panther.
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and I was fucking one of the stupid I
<v Speaker 4>was fucking the face guy Lexi or whatever they want
<v Speaker 4>the mirror. I don't know that guy, like I know
<v Speaker 4>that huge, huge, huge huge.
<v Speaker 3>Mirror cock huge mirror huge. Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>But anyways, that's how I met Angela. That was great times. Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>she was just this cute little so I look at
<v Speaker 4>her now. All right, Well where can people find uh stripped?
<v Speaker 3>And when is it? When are you launching it? Do
<v Speaker 3>you have a launch date yet?
<v Speaker 4>I don't have a launch date because it got kind
<v Speaker 4>of pushed back because I'm like control freaking things weren't But.
<v Speaker 3>It's going to be this month.
<v Speaker 4>But right now you can find it at the Strippedpod
<v Speaker 4>dot com and then you can find it the Striped
<v Speaker 4>Pod on Instagram. But the best place we'll be going
<v Speaker 4>to Brett Rossi dot com and that's where you'll be
<v Speaker 4>able to find all my official socials which that will
<v Speaker 4>be there as well.
<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm so excited for you. Thank you so much
<v Speaker 2>for having me. Sorry I talked your ear off. No,
<v Speaker 2>I mean this is a podcast, it's as to do
<v Speaker 2>all these questions. I'm like, she's what They're just here
<v Speaker 2>for reference just in case. I do have a bunch
<v Speaker 2>of Patreon questions for you, which we will be asking
<v Speaker 2>in a separate segment. So if you're a Patreon member,
<v Speaker 2>you will have access to that bonus Q and A.
<v Speaker 2>But if you're not, what are you waiting for? Go
<v Speaker 2>to Patreon dot com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered for access
<v Speaker 2>to this and the uncensored versions of my interviews, plus
<v Speaker 2>so much other bonus content. And of course you can
<v Speaker 2>always find me on Instagram and on Twitter at Holly
<v Speaker 2>Randall and of course go to hollylinks dot com for
<v Speaker 2>access to all of my platforms. Thank you guys so
<v Speaker 2>much for joining us, and I will see you next
<v Speaker 2>week