314 | Art of the Session: What Happens in the Lobby Matters Too

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing the Art of the Session

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summer series.

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Last week we talked about setting up your playroom,

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and today we are talking about

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the relationship

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that is created

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from

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the time that your families walk through the door until they leave.

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And so every week we have opportunities to

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facilitate that connection and that relationship

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and we'll talk about what that looks like and how to best

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make sure that we are preserving and enhancing that communication,

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connection and relationship.

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Before we get there,

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I want to give you all an update

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in the way of an announcement.

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So,

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July 7th.

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Shortly after 4th of July,

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so the Monday after 4th of July weekend,

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we are launching our CPRT course,

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and I know so many of you have been anxiously awaiting that launch.

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Wanted to let you know July 7th,

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it will be live and ready to go for you all.

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And as a thank you to those of you

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that are either email subscribers and or podcast listeners,

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you will be receiving a code.

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I will.

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it on both the podcast and in the email newsletter,

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you will get a code for $100 off the course

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for 10 days.

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So from July 7th through July 17th,

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you all will have access to the course for $100 off.

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So please take advantage of that.

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It will give you 16 CEUs.

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And you will be able

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to get trained in the complete CPRT curriculum

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and then facilitate that with families and add it to your suite of services.

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So launching July 7th,

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really excited about that.

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It's been a long time coming

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and stay tuned for the code so that you can get $100 off.

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If you want to check out the information about it in the meantime,

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you can go to playtherapynow.com.

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There'll be a countdown timer and then there'll be a video on there shortly

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talking about what is included in the course and and the

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content and things like that playtherapynow.com for more info.

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Alrighty,

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so let's talk about

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continuing in the Art of the Session summer series.

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What does the process look like for connection and relationship with

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your families?

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Think of it this way,

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from the moment that they walk through the door of your office.

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Until the moment they leave to go back to their vehicle.

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You have that hour or so opportunity.

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To pour into the relationships

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as they're with you.

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And we talk all the time,

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probably ad nauseam

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about

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the importance of the relationship with our client,

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our child.

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And it's at the heart of everything we do.

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CCPT

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always comes back to the relationship.

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We know this,

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we talk about this.

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But the bulk of that relationship,

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formation,

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preservation,

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maintenance,

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all of that is in the playroom.

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And if we miss the opportunity to build relationships with parents

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while they're there with us,

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we are going to struggle

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to

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maintain

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our clients,

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we're going to struggle

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to have the outcomes that we want,

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the reviews that we would like to receive

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all of this is tied to the relationship.

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So essentially you can think about it as

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you have a 50 minute or however long your therapeutic hour is,

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so 45 to 50 minute.

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Each week opportunity

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to really pour into the relationship with your child.

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And then you have a 10 to 15 minute window

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to really pour into the relationship with parents in the lobby.

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One of the things that I think gets missed more often than not

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is when a family is participating in play therapy with us.

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We have an opportunity to do life with them.

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We are invited into their lives.

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We are a small part of their family.

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And we get to journey alongside them

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as the child is working through their therapeutic path.

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It can never be just,

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hey,

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how's it going?

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OK,

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we'll be back in 50 minutes,

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bye,

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and you take the kid back.

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That is not

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the Art of the Session.

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The Art of the Session is we build relationship

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and connection and trust

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and

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rapport

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and bond and all of that with our child client,

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yes,

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but also with our parents.

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Because

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if we just

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Communicate with them in such a way where it's like,

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OK,

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I'm gonna take your kid back now,

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see you in a little bit,

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and then you say,

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OK,

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see you next time.

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First of all,

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it's a lot of missed opportunity,

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but second of all,

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the parent will never feel like they have formed a relationship with you.

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The only way that that takes place is in your consultations

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and in your every week lobby conversations.

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When you

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are out with a family.

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You should be getting to know them.

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You should be chit chatting with them,

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you should know about their pets,

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you should know about where they're going or where they went on vacation.

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You should know about their hobbies,

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you should know their friends and family's

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names that they reference in conversation frequently.

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And vice versa.

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You can appropriately self-disclose in conversation

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things about you so that they get to know you,

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not to an unnecessary degree,

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not to an inappropriate degree,

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but when your family

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says we're gonna go on a cruise and you say,

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oh my gosh,

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we just went on a cruise a couple months ago,

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it was amazing and then you chit chat about how much you love to cruise.

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That is appropriate self-disclosure relationship building communication.

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When they talk about their pets

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and you say,

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oh my gosh,

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I had a beagle.

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I love beagles,

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and

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then there's a connection made over

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the type of dog or they tell you about their hobby and they love to

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play billiards and you say,

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oh my gosh,

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I'm really not good at pool,

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but I like to play it and blah blah blah.

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These are

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those really

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fun.

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Chit chat conversations that should fill every single week

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when your families come in the lobby.

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Because you naturally get that opportunity in the play session with a kid.

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You're building rapport and bond and trust and relationship and connection

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every single week for 45 or 50 minutes.

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You have a much shorter window.

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When you're with parents,

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And I've said this several times in podcasts,

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your parents are your customer.

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So if you're going to have any semblance of customer service,

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you have to attend to the parents.

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And I actually,

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when I was speaking a while back,

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I had someone in the audience say,

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well,

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I like my clients,

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but sometimes I don't like my customers.

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OK,

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that's an interesting take,

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and I think a lot of therapists feel that way.

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Gosh,

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if I could do this job and not have to interact with parents,

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things would be so much better.

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It's a package deal,

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y'all.

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Kids don't drive themselves,

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kids don't pay for it,

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kids don't refer other people to you,

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kids don't leave you reviews.

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There's no way that we do this without parents.

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We become a team.

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And I get it.

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Parents are sometimes difficult and parents are in crisis,

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and you know the people that seem the hardest to love

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need love the most and sometimes parents are hard to love

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because they're in

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a really,

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really rough spot emotionally or psychologically or mentally or whatever.

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So we have to honor the fact that it's not always easy

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to connect

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and build relationship and communication,

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but that's one of our roles.

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Because we need to recognize

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that

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the closer that parents feel to us,

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the deeper the connection

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that they've formed,

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the less likely they are

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to

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bail in the middle of treatment.

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You will likely reduce your attrition.

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I mean,

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there are a lot of factors.

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It's articulation and communication and helping them see the value

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and helping them see progress and it's not just relationship,

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but a factor certainly is.

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The more your people like you,

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and the more they feel connected to you,

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and the more they feel you've taken the time to get to know them

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personally.

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If they see you as just another professional that's working with their kid,

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that is not the same thing as they feel like

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they personally know you and like you and trust you.

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It's totally different.

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So one of the major goals that we have

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is to build relationship with

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the parents as well.

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Of course,

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it comes with kids.

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But we're missing a huge portion

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of the application of this work

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if we miss out on the opportunity to connect with parents

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and

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one of the things that has really struck me

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is what people choose to write in

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my reviews.

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So when someone leaves me a Google review.

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It's really interesting to me and this really sealed this concept for me.

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It is rare,

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if ever,

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that a parent leaves a review

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and talks about anything clinical in the review.

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They rarely talk about

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the child's improvement.

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They rarely talk about

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the issues getting resolved.

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They rarely talk about the presenting concerns

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and how over time they saw a reduction in those concerns.

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It's rare,

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if ever,

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quite honestly,

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that parents talk about the clinical aspect

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of the work that I do

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when I'm

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a part of their family.

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What they say

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is,

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Brenna always took the time to listen.

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Brenna understood what was going on and

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provided really helpful thoughts and advice.

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Brenna always was able to connect and make us feel like she understood.

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Brenna was able to.

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communicate with us in a way that really made us feel comfortable.

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It was all relational in nature.

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And this shouldn't surprise us

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because this is relationship-driven.

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Therapy specifically child-centered therapy because we're going back to Rogers,

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it's very much about the relationship.

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And this shouldn't surprise us at all,

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but

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what people remember

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is the experience tied to the emotion.

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Therefore,

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if every single time families come,

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they love being with you,

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they love being at your center or your practice or your agency or wherever.

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They love their conversations with you,

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they love how they feel after they've had conversations with you.

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They love how they feel when they leave.

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It's been an hour where it just uplifts them and it encourages them and it makes them.

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Feel that you care about them,

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they remember that.

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It's anchored to the experience and the emotion and what do you

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think's going to be what is taken with them long term?

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Oh my gosh,

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that was the best experience.

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We loved her.

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We loved him.

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We loved going there.

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We loved our time with them.

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That's relationship.

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It sways away from my child quit getting in trouble at school.

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My child was less aggressive afterward.

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My child no longer was scared to sleep in their own bed.

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Was that the reason they came?

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Yes.

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Was that important?

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Yes.

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Was it a noticed outcome?

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Of course,

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or we wouldn't have terminated,

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but noticed that that's not even the focus.

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It completely shifts away from the clinical

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and it becomes personal and relational.

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That is only achieved when you take the

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time to invest in relationship with your families.

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So we talked about setting up the playroom.

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Look,

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you can't,

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you can't have any families come to you if you don't have a playroom ready to go.

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Now we're talking through what does the week to week

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interaction look like

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because this is the next step.

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You get an hour each week

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to have impact.

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What does that hour look like?

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It can't all be clinically focused.

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It can't all be child focused.

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So I hope that this encourages you.

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I hope that you have a different frame maybe or a different focus moving forward

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because this absolutely has to be for us to really

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be effective in our work.

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We have to be able to approach it with this mindset

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that the relationship with parents is just as

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important as the relationship with our clients.

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All right y'all,

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I love you.

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It was great hanging out with you.

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We'll talk again soon.

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Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

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Brenna Hicks.

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For more episodes and resources,

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please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.