BONUS: SURving More Tom Schwartz

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hello, Gorgeous. It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, Lala. Hey, Gorgeous, Lala Kent. Welcome to the bonus episode of Untraditionally Lala. I have Tom Scholtz. Today. We're going to be talking about iconic vander Pump moments. And there's a moment that we talked about on the regular episode that has, to my dismay, made its way back to the Internet. So I'm not it's so mortifying you that I'm already now now just doing what I did on the regular, where you're like, you are you saying you can ask me anything? And I'm like, why the fuck did I do that?

00:00:38
Speaker 2: So good? You still got it?

00:00:40
Speaker 1: I don't still got it? But that's okay, Okay, iconic lines?

00:00:47
Speaker 2: Do I have to say? Who would guess who it is? No?

00:00:50
Speaker 1: I mean I did not come up with these iconic lines because I would never put so many under my own. Sure, Okay, what would you say? Is the most iconic line that I've said? Okay, are you trying to get popped? Bamby eyed bitch all iconic?

00:01:11
Speaker 2: Man? Trying to get popped?

00:01:13
Speaker 3: Is number one most iconic thing you've ever said? Are you trying to get along. I still think about it, and people quoted to me all the time. I'm in Swartz and Sandy's Rip Tom, Tom, I hear that line all the time.

00:01:26
Speaker 2: You're trying to get popped, and.

00:01:29
Speaker 1: Then Ariana, I don't want to get popped.

00:01:31
Speaker 3: The reaction was so funny because you were You said it with conviction, You were dead serious.

00:01:37
Speaker 1: I am from the eight to one. I know nothing about that life, you guys, not even the slightest clue.

00:01:43
Speaker 4: Who was I That baby eyed bitch was the most poignant, most poignant thing I think you ever said in it, because when I get angry, I just my mind goes blank.

00:01:54
Speaker 3: But I feel like you become like very articulate in a venomous way, like yeah, you're good with your words when you're upset.

00:02:03
Speaker 1: Well, here's what happens, Tom, is people poke at me, yeah, and then they get the wrath that's so intense that I end up having to apologize profusely and I can't take it back. So what I'm trying to do, or what I've been trying to implement in the past couple of years, a couple of months, whatever it may be, is like in a moment where you're feeling rage, take a beat and pinpoint how you're feeling so that you don't just speal.

00:02:34
Speaker 2: That's not fun.

00:02:36
Speaker 1: I know, I know, but you want to know what's the worst is going home and beating yourself up over it and not being able to sleep and having massive amounts of anxiety.

00:02:46
Speaker 3: I still feel guilty for calling Shina a bootleg Kardashian. Like I know, it was like seven years ago, and I like when I'm mean to peoples, it haunts me.

00:02:56
Speaker 1: You don't feel bad that you told me I was a bootleg housewife and you and those lips, I almost flipped a pizza in your lap.

00:03:06
Speaker 2: I was, well, God, I literally forgot about that until just now. Sorry, I don't want to I don't want to blame all that. I gotta blame that one on the all cahol.

00:03:14
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something short.

00:03:15
Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry, that so mean.

00:03:18
Speaker 1: No, But when someone I live for a time where you're just delivering it to me, so then I don't feel guilty about coming back.

00:03:27
Speaker 2: You know, I both.

00:03:28
Speaker 1: Mama, you were poking, however I did. I started it because I said, instead of a drink being thrown on you, you deserve to be punched in the face. Those are fighting words.

00:03:38
Speaker 3: No, I was like, and I felt I don't know why I was so triggered that day. Well, I had a drink thrown on my face, but I was very upset, like I wanted to fight him. I'm not a fighter. And then I was like then and then I turned into like comedy almost. I was like, I actually thought it was hilarious, and we like hugged it out the next day. I know that's always good for TV. But like he was, yeah, I mean I made a snarky ass comment.

00:04:02
Speaker 1: It wasn't though. It just didn't land because he was still hurt from like whatever he was feeling. But I remember after you were mean to me, you poked your head through this like wall of string, and you were like, oh, I'm sorry, I go shut the fuck up.

00:04:17
Speaker 2: I know, I apologize.

00:04:18
Speaker 1: We were all on one hundred.

00:04:20
Speaker 2: Wow.

00:04:20
Speaker 1: I went after your lips, so, I mean I picked them.

00:04:24
Speaker 2: You never go after someone's looks like that.

00:04:26
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. It would be one thing if I was like born with these lips and you made fun of them. It's like they're from God. But like I literally went into a doctor and said give me these lips. It's like, I'm not offended hand picks.

00:04:39
Speaker 3: Listen, do whatever makes you happy people who are listening, but just don't fuck with your lips.

00:04:43
Speaker 2: It's always doesn't end well, fuck you, I'm poking. I'm pokeing.

00:04:51
Speaker 1: No, but I'm glad you said that, because it can get very gnarly, very quick. They wouldn't touch him again.

00:04:56
Speaker 2: They don't look like they did in that one moment. They look lovely.

00:05:00
Speaker 1: That's what I was trying to get them back to. And my doctor was like, we're not fucking with your lips. I was like, God, just put a noodle in the lips. I will say, they'll filler in the cheeks. Don't ever do it. Not that you would, but that's like I got it. And then I went in and immediately had it dissolved. Really yeah, I did not like it.

00:05:16
Speaker 3: It looked just you look so natural. You don't look like you've had any surgery. Oh wow, you do.

00:05:20
Speaker 1: Thinks if I were to show you my lop sided tits, you'd be like someone put a knife in her. Someone put a knife in her, which, by the way, I'm totally having done.

00:05:31
Speaker 2: You're getting your breast redone a reproduction.

00:05:34
Speaker 1: Not a reduction. I'm not trying to have mosquito bites, buddy.

00:05:37
Speaker 2: I had no idea what your boobs look like. I don't know if they're big, medium, small.

00:05:41
Speaker 1: That's fucked up that you wouldn't notice that.

00:05:43
Speaker 2: I mean, i've never seen you naked.

00:05:45
Speaker 1: Well, there's always time today, you have until six pm.

00:05:48
Speaker 3: Although I got punished for allegedly seeing your boobs and Hawaii, but I never actually saw them.

00:05:53
Speaker 1: Oh and that's when they were cute and perky.

00:05:54
Speaker 2: Oh that's okay, we were all cute and perky.

00:05:56
Speaker 1: Then we really were your iconic lines. Dude. I used to live with Kristen. She's the only person I've ever wanted to murder.

00:06:06
Speaker 3: It's so weird because now I'm so fucking I've always been tight. That's just a brother's sister thing. Like we had such a love and not even a love hate, just love. But like when you're that close to someone, it's like, yeah, man, that was my sister and she still is and I love her, but yeah, there was when I lived together, I had a lot of rage towards her.

00:06:23
Speaker 1: I love, Like, what that is such a shorts answer, that's true.

00:06:26
Speaker 3: It's like we've hung out like NonStop, and we were besties. But also like sometime, you know, I think, like.

00:06:32
Speaker 1: What would she do that would make you want to murder her?

00:06:34
Speaker 3: Just like her there late night. I don't want to dredge up the past, but her and Tom late night like three am fights.

00:06:39
Speaker 2: I'm in the room right next door, and I like I I.

00:06:44
Speaker 3: My worst sound in the world, My most hated sound in the world is two people fighting.

00:06:48
Speaker 2: It just gives me so much stress and anxiety.

00:06:51
Speaker 3: And like you took it on, yeah, and I sometimes it would spill over into my room and stuff and like.

00:06:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, but oh they would come in and try to drag you into it.

00:06:58
Speaker 3: No, just I don't know, man, I think I repressed it.

00:07:02
Speaker 2: I don't even know how I got to that point.

00:07:03
Speaker 3: But there was a time when I lived with her where yeah, she was driving me crazy. But now we joke about it all the time and we love them.

00:07:09
Speaker 1: You know what women always go through at least one relationship that is like that, where it's fueled by alcohol. You're young, you got roommates, you have a boyfriend who keeps fucking up and is making you crazy, which was the title of her book. He's making you crazy. And now anytime a man is like that woman's crazy, I'm like, no, no, no, no, we're gonna need to start from the beginning. What did you do to make her crazy? Because it's always your guy's fault.

00:07:35
Speaker 2: Well, i'll take it. I'll take it.

00:07:38
Speaker 1: It is always your guy's fault.

00:07:40
Speaker 2: It's yeah, no comment.

00:07:43
Speaker 1: I'm literally just a bartender. Were you ever just a bartender? I remember you being way bad at that.

00:07:50
Speaker 2: Listen. I'm a great mixologist.

00:07:53
Speaker 3: I can make good cocktails and come, I can curate a menu, but under pressure, I can't make drinks and talk to you at the same time.

00:08:00
Speaker 2: I don't have the ability.

00:08:01
Speaker 3: So it's one of the other, and you need to be good at both in order to be a good bartender.

00:08:05
Speaker 1: I crack under pressure.

00:08:06
Speaker 2: You do mm hm. I feel like you thrive.

00:08:09
Speaker 1: Depends on what kind of pressure it' you thrive. Like if someone I remember like doing okay in school and then the moment they were like and now there's a test, it was like, oh my god, I've forgotten everything. Where am I? What's my name? That kind of pressure I crack. And and by the way, I was the worst hostess ever.

00:08:30
Speaker 3: I remember I have such clear memories of you hosting and just like, yeah, like your outfits you would wear, like really, yeah, you're kind of like, I don't know, scantily clad.

00:08:42
Speaker 2: Also like you.

00:08:42
Speaker 1: Know, no, I remember Diana always being furious because she's like, that's not where they're supposed to go on, Like, there's four people, so wherever there's four seats, that's where they're going to be going.

00:08:53
Speaker 3: Like, we have similar energies when it comes to working in bars and restaurants.

00:08:56
Speaker 2: Although I've done it in my whole.

00:08:57
Speaker 1: Life, hardest job I've ever had, Why do I.

00:09:01
Speaker 2: Keep coming back.

00:09:02
Speaker 3: I don't know why because I'm like I hated it since the beginning, but I always kept coming back as parts of it.

00:09:07
Speaker 1: I love to the restaurant business.

00:09:08
Speaker 3: I love people, and I love hanging out with people and being an environment where they're in a good mood, they're not stressed out about their life, they're having a cocktail.

00:09:15
Speaker 1: So then maybe you should just stick to like doing appearances at other people's bars, because then you don't have the pressure of like the alcohol and how much it's going to cost and like, oh my god, we ordered too much food that went to waste and what a waste of money. Like all of those things I feel like would give me anxiety.

00:09:31
Speaker 3: I will never invest in another bar in miles. This is a matter how much money I have. I would never put my name on a lease for a bar.

00:09:37
Speaker 2: Again in my life.

00:09:38
Speaker 3: I would help contribute creatively or something like a.

00:09:42
Speaker 1: Tom Tom situation. You do another one of these invest.

00:09:44
Speaker 2: As long as I have zero liability. Mmm, but I wouldn't do.

00:09:47
Speaker 3: You guys, you do not want to open a bar restaurant. I've seen behind the curtains. It is fucking stressful. It'll eat you alive, coming home late, fox up your sleeping hours, you miss all the holidays. It's so not worth it of money you could make as capped unless you scale and like have a franchise. I mean you can listen. There's a lot of people who make a lot of money, but just a lot of people who lose a lot of money too. It's very scary business.

00:10:10
Speaker 1: It doesn't look fun to me in the least.

00:10:13
Speaker 2: It's scary, horrifying. I have nightmares sometimes still PTSD. I'm not even joking.

00:10:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, I actually have nightmares about the bar sometimes.

00:10:32
Speaker 1: How much all in all, did you guys invest in that I probably lost.

00:10:38
Speaker 3: Like six six seven hundred grand, which is insane. I don't know, six hundred grand a house, for sure, that's that's a night, the down payment on a beautiful, beautiful house.

00:10:47
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

00:10:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I could have bought like three five rental properties in Florida or something like cheese.

00:10:54
Speaker 2: I don't think about her anymore. I I released it.

00:10:56
Speaker 1: Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it.

00:10:58
Speaker 2: I was.

00:10:59
Speaker 3: I went on like I had so much, both the pent up resentment and frustrations, and but I let it all go.

00:11:05
Speaker 2: I've truly good for you.

00:11:06
Speaker 1: That's very hard to do.

00:11:08
Speaker 3: No, it felt so good, like it was like a demon leaving my body. Yeah, it was so nice.

00:11:12
Speaker 1: Resentment is the one thing that is the hardest to get rid of. Yeah, it will eat you alive.

00:11:17
Speaker 3: No, I feel free. I'm skipping and frolicking everywhere.

00:11:20
Speaker 1: Now, good for you. Yeah, Plus, you have a hot girlfriend that probably helps you know, fuck the resentment out of you with their hot face. God, do you remember when James and I were on Watch Rabins Live during twenty fifteen where we cussed so much that Andy literally banned us forever.

00:11:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's probably one of the most iconic episodes ever, and I just like to look on Andy's face.

00:11:44
Speaker 2: He was genuinely so. He hated as you guys. He hated you.

00:11:48
Speaker 1: So I have zero recollection of being there at all. Truthfully, I didn't realize it was so bad, Like I went to the club after to celebrate, like how well we did?

00:11:58
Speaker 3: It was so bad. It was good and it was iconic and I got to talked about earlier. You salvaged it at the end, singing and James freestyling. That made up for the whole episode.

00:12:08
Speaker 1: It haunts me, an, can I tell you? I was so happy because I would tell people about this, and I wrote about it years ago in my book, and there were people that would ask me where they can find it. They couldn't find it on the internet anywhere. Well, recently it has reappeared and it is my biggest fucking nightmare that it is. No not thank you. I commented on it and was like, when someone asks me why I got sober, this is a part of the montage that plays in my mind.

00:12:39
Speaker 2: If you haven't seen it, just go on TikTok you'll find it.

00:12:42
Speaker 1: Talking about my panties dropping, make it go, Pop Pop Pop until my panties go drop, drop drop. That is repulsive and disgusting. And I thought, in my mind, wherever my mind was at that time, thought I was slaying the I was like, I'm for sure getting a record deal. Where's Where's doctor Trey? No, you were a little Deululu Dela law as fuck. I'm sending ocean in that video when she turns eighteen. Oh Jesus, please don't.

00:13:14
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:13:16
Speaker 1: Can I tell you the guy that did my makeup in that Water Happins Live appearance. I loved my face so much and maybe it was good, maybe it was bad. I can't remember. I cannot watch the video. But I brought him to La to do my first reunion season four makeup and he had learned a new technique. And that's when you guys were blessed with my glam on the season four reunion.

00:13:41
Speaker 3: Yes, that's actually a good photo.

00:13:46
Speaker 1: That is not what it looked like. Your outfit with that horrendous shade of blue. There it is there, she is. I want that on a sweatshirt.

00:13:54
Speaker 3: It's so weird that you were like a caricature of yourself almost you know what I mean?

00:13:58
Speaker 1: And what is that blonde hair? It's like very yellow.

00:14:01
Speaker 3: I liked it like your I think your dark era was your best era. You look gorgeous now.

00:14:06
Speaker 1: But thank you that when I look at that I go reading ring book, I look like a fucking color wheel.

00:14:14
Speaker 2: Were you self aware at that time? Did you have did you have the frontal lobe?

00:14:19
Speaker 1: No? Not quite. I was only twenty four. I hadn't quite developed. I feel like mine developed closer to thirty, Thank heavens. James shade to Schwartz. Schwartz suggested a sandwich that could kill a hangover. James then said he wants a mand witch. We all know Tom likes to sloppy Joe. Where do you and Joe stand today?

00:14:44
Speaker 3: I have heart, yeah, far apart, but there's no bad blood. I wish nothing but the best for her. But I kept her block for some private reasons and stuff. But no, I honestly if she's if she hears this, I'm always rooting for her.

00:14:58
Speaker 2: Like I hope you're doing well.

00:15:00
Speaker 1: You were you PR trained?

00:15:02
Speaker 2: No? Wow? God, no, how do you get PR trained? What do you do?

00:15:06
Speaker 1: You are the most like PC person on the planet?

00:15:10
Speaker 2: What does what does media chaining look like? Have you had it?

00:15:13
Speaker 1: Are you I need constant crisis pr I can't shut the fuck up.

00:15:18
Speaker 2: Do you like study or do you sit down and go through?

00:15:20
Speaker 1: Yes, it's like someone who comes in and they're like, when you're asked this kind of question, they teach you how to reframe it. Yeah, so that you the person asking feels like you answered it but you said nothing at all.

00:15:32
Speaker 2: You know.

00:15:32
Speaker 3: It's the best at that of all time. The goat Lisa vander Palm. She is so good in a cheeky smart way.

00:15:41
Speaker 1: She throws shade though, which is what I love about her. She will because she's not boring.

00:15:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, she is great in an interview. She doesn't hold back. She's spicy, cheeky, but.

00:15:49
Speaker 3: If she if there's something she's not comfortable addressing, she'll redirect it in a way and not really say much.

00:15:55
Speaker 2: But it's still charming and it's yeah anyway.

00:15:57
Speaker 1: The accent is so flawless too. If I had an accent, then I feel like everything that came out of my mouth would be like so much more.

00:16:06
Speaker 2: I miss Lisa.

00:16:06
Speaker 3: I haven't talked to him. I got a FaceTime or later check in. I know he's the busiest fucking Vegas now.

00:16:12
Speaker 1: The shirtless brawl. Sandoval and Jack's took their shirts off to fight. Stossy's boyfriend Frank, I don't think I was around during that. Were you there?

00:16:22
Speaker 2: It was insane?

00:16:24
Speaker 3: Guy, I cannot I think they if anything, I don't don't.

00:16:28
Speaker 2: They could fully capture the stakes of how intense it was.

00:16:31
Speaker 3: It was a barroom brawl, like chairs were flying across the room.

00:16:35
Speaker 2: It was insane, like it was violent.

00:16:39
Speaker 1: Why why did the shirts get well? Chairs are being thrown them? Violent?

00:16:43
Speaker 3: One actually got injured. It was all more huffing and puffing, you know what I mean.

00:16:47
Speaker 1: It was like, is it because Jackson was in a knit sweater so he was hot?

00:16:50
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:16:51
Speaker 1: But maybe flying a little too high.

00:16:53
Speaker 3: I'm trying to think the practical reasons why people rip the sh I know it's a sh like an alpha move.

00:16:58
Speaker 2: It's like beating your chest like a gorilla.

00:17:00
Speaker 3: But like, what are the practical reasons to take your shirt off so people can't grab it?

00:17:04
Speaker 2: Like? I think it's just a flex a show of machismo, right.

00:17:08
Speaker 1: I mean, I've never been in a fight where I've removed my shirt.

00:17:11
Speaker 2: Not yet.

00:17:24
Speaker 1: Stassy's Revenge Starssy Trash, Jacks's apartment and drinks six hundred dollars worth of fish champagne. What was his response when he found that out? Did he come back to the boys and thought, holy shit, six hundred dollars? How wild? Six hundred dollars? Was that just one bottle?

00:17:39
Speaker 2: We used to do catering jobs and we would steal them.

00:17:43
Speaker 1: Oh so it's not like paid for them.

00:17:44
Speaker 3: No, No, we would do private jobs and they were they like they were you know, they were overstocked, like and they had big you know, big companies like a Mowett would be like one of the promoters are what's the word, I can't think sponsors, sponsor Jesus of the events and the like.

00:18:01
Speaker 2: You know, we'll take a bottle or two and throw them in our bag. You know, we wouldn't get greedy.

00:18:05
Speaker 3: But yeah, but like every every single catering job I ever did, I would take at least two bottles.

00:18:10
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, and I regret nothing.

00:18:13
Speaker 1: Why would you?

00:18:14
Speaker 3: And there was times I took more maybe ten fifteen, but just clinking from two to fifty although no, okay, And.

00:18:23
Speaker 1: There some days I was like, fucking, I'm taking the whole case.

00:18:27
Speaker 3: I got fired from one of my jobs. Actually, I never told anyone that it was the last one. It was one of my I forget the name of the company, but it was like my favorite company to work for, and they were so sweet. But I one of the bartenders went home six. So I was just slanging drinks and.

00:18:39
Speaker 2: That's that's my wheelhouse.

00:18:40
Speaker 3: You know, you're porn Boka Sota's shots, Like that's my specialty.

00:18:44
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Jack and Cox.

00:18:45
Speaker 3: But I took like two bottles of tequila and for some reason, the managers went in my bag and they're like, we're gonna have to ask you to leave, and it was all somber.

00:18:54
Speaker 1: Did you have to leave the bottles behind you?

00:18:56
Speaker 2: And they never hired me again.

00:18:57
Speaker 1: But I was like, come on, did you get to keep the bottles?

00:18:59
Speaker 2: Though? Like come on, dude, Like really, who cares?

00:19:04
Speaker 1: Who cares?

00:19:05
Speaker 2: They have billions of dollars? Like it's just you know what I.

00:19:07
Speaker 1: Mean, right, do you know how much money the alcohol industry brings in?

00:19:10
Speaker 3: And I know what the bodel is actually it's like, dude, anyway, how old were you? I think this is this is before the show started. This is like twenty ten.

00:19:20
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, why would you ever in your whole life throw a drink on Katie during an argument, and that couldn't have been the first time you so you so flawlessly dumped the drink.

00:19:30
Speaker 2: I'm in my entire life, I've done that. I know that.

00:19:32
Speaker 1: Really like what possessed you.

00:19:34
Speaker 2: I don't know. I was like she was. I have no excuse for it.

00:19:37
Speaker 3: I think I lost my mind, clearly, I don't know, but I think if I remember, it wasn't like I threw it in her face.

00:19:43
Speaker 2: I just kind to throw it in her direction.

00:19:45
Speaker 1: No, you dumped it on her head.

00:19:46
Speaker 2: No I did not.

00:19:48
Speaker 1: I saw the footage.

00:19:49
Speaker 2: I'm going to make people go.

00:19:50
Speaker 3: Look at that because that was like my lowest moment. But I think I just lost my mind that trip. I was just in such a bad place. I fucking lost my mind.

00:19:58
Speaker 1: Do you remember when Dody threw a drink at James when we were in Mexico and it landed on me, And the whole reason it was thrown was because Jack's and Sandoval made up this lie that James, you were fucked up. You couldn't even function. You guys had just gone coffing. You guys had just.

00:20:18
Speaker 3: Gone call that one of our sloppiest days. Ever, the sloppiest is the night before.

00:20:23
Speaker 1: Yes, it was very intense.

00:20:25
Speaker 2: That's that's where I woke up in the wrong resort.

00:20:27
Speaker 1: On the wrong beach. Yeah, he was you were elsewhere?

00:20:30
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

00:20:31
Speaker 1: And the way that it was like one one of the times I looked at and felt so badly for James, like rewatching it and him being like, do I hang out with Kristen? Not really? A little bit, not really, And everyone's like, we asked him if he hooked up with Kristen and he said a little bit, not really, and he was like, I didn't do that, and he was like crying to me in my room. Then he got a drink thrown on him. What did drink's being thrown on? Vander Pump? Do you think the new season will have a lot of drinks being thrown?

00:21:01
Speaker 2: I hope. So.

00:21:02
Speaker 3: I love a good drink throw. It's like one of the pillars of any great reality. So you knew the occasional drink throw. I don't ever want to be a part of that again in my life, but it's really inerting.

00:21:12
Speaker 1: One else needs to do it.

00:21:13
Speaker 3: I love a good drink throw. Yeah, yeah, I like women on women drink throwing. Not that's like almost fetishizing it.

00:21:21
Speaker 1: No, but and I love when they're in white T shirts with no bra. But it's like a fucking weirdo.

00:21:25
Speaker 3: There's a double stand No, it's not sexual in nature, but it's like maybe there's a double standard. Like when guys do it seem so like bitchy they just I don't know, like aggressive, like violent for some reason.

00:21:36
Speaker 2: Like when I see like the Housewives do it, it's like funny.

00:21:39
Speaker 1: It's because I think you also, like myself, appreciate the art of reality television.

00:21:44
Speaker 2: I sure do.

00:21:45
Speaker 1: I want to ask you something very quickly. You said that you had a crush on Alexia from Miami.

00:21:53
Speaker 2: I don't know when I ever said that, but I think I did say it.

00:21:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, but listen, I saw it in a lot of places. She's fucking stunning.

00:22:01
Speaker 2: She's gorgeous, and she's so damn charming.

00:22:03
Speaker 3: And I've always like, I've always liked I think for like I don't know Miami women, Cuban women, God like, I just I've never dated one, but I've always been.

00:22:13
Speaker 1: You could not handle all that, honey, That's what I hear.

00:22:15
Speaker 2: Let me, that's what I hear.

00:22:17
Speaker 1: But you could not handle gorge and I.

00:22:19
Speaker 3: Went to her salon and had such a good time. And she's cool as ship. We had so much fun.

00:22:24
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's the one time I was jealous of you.

00:22:26
Speaker 2: Have you hung out with her?

00:22:28
Speaker 1: No, we communicate via Instagram, though.

00:22:30
Speaker 2: She's so fun. And yeah, housewives with Miami or the ship? What's your favorite housewives? Oh see?

00:22:40
Speaker 1: Or I mean, uh, fucking Miami's crushing it?

00:22:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, Miami, Saltlake Cities like Numbers.

00:22:46
Speaker 1: Is very good.

00:22:47
Speaker 2: It's so good.

00:22:48
Speaker 1: Did you notice during the wedding or did you watch it where Sandoval wipes the tears?

00:22:53
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah?

00:22:54
Speaker 1: With his dogs? With your dogs?

00:22:56
Speaker 3: So sweet, so sweet. Butter is such an EmPATH, like he did. I know he was there crying too. He's such a sweet guy.

00:23:04
Speaker 1: He's such an empathy. I can't I want you to have children, just so I can see what changes with you and your dogs. I remember Lily laying her head on the bath and I was like expecting ocean and I looked at her and we made like just the most soul to soul connection. I was like, Lily, I will never love this baby more than I love you. Don't even worry about it, girl, moment I came home, Lily's on the bed. I'm like, Lily, you gotta get off the bed. No hair near the baby, off the bed. Not saying that I don't love her.

00:23:38
Speaker 2: It just shifts.

00:23:39
Speaker 1: But I would just be curious to see.

00:23:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't wait too.

00:23:43
Speaker 1: I loved when he wiped the tears with butter. Didn't have blonde streaks. I have the blonde or like silver streaks.

00:23:53
Speaker 2: I liked his silver streak era.

00:23:55
Speaker 1: It was horrendous.

00:23:56
Speaker 2: I liked it. It was very very nineties boy band.

00:23:59
Speaker 1: Don't fuel don't fuel it, please don't for the love of God. Last one was the New Orleans bachelor party. He's a fucking battered wife, kicks the door in.

00:24:12
Speaker 2: I think I should have died on that trip. No, I don't want to say that.

00:24:15
Speaker 1: But were you taking a deuce? You were sitting on the door.

00:24:18
Speaker 3: I was just taking a moment because I was so stressed out and I just felt like crying. I remember just being really like intoxicated, and I.

00:24:28
Speaker 2: Just was like sad.

00:24:29
Speaker 3: I remember I was junkie, but I was more. I was really sad and stressed out. I felt like I was like I was gonna lose like the love of my life. At the time, I was like, I fucking sabotaging my relationship.

00:24:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, and the instead you went on to sabotage it anyway when it ended anyway.

00:24:45
Speaker 3: Oh, listen, I think it was probably, Yeah, that was probably.

00:24:50
Speaker 2: That's my favorite, probably my favorite episode.

00:24:52
Speaker 1: I think I never saw it. Yeah, I'm going to go back and watch it.

00:24:56
Speaker 2: It's so funny.

00:24:57
Speaker 1: I have to go back and watch it.

00:24:59
Speaker 2: It's so fun looking funny.

00:25:00
Speaker 1: I need to go back to season one and watch all the vander Pump roles because and stop when I enter, but I do not. During COVID, I went back and watched, but for some reason, I'm not remembering anything that happens, Like I'm not remembering the Frank fight right with them. I want to give one teaser, Yeah, that that is not the last time people are going to see you dressed as a girl.

00:25:25
Speaker 2: That's true.

00:25:26
Speaker 1: I'm very excited about it.

00:25:28
Speaker 3: True, and I think I totally redeemed myself.

00:25:30
Speaker 1: I think you did too, I don't.

00:25:32
Speaker 3: I hate that one of my legacies is being the ugliest man as a woman ever and when people comment that to me all the time, like Schwartz, you're You're a pretty good looking dude. You're kind of sexy, but like you are the ugliest woman on the planet.

00:25:46
Speaker 2: I hear that a lot. The ugliest.

00:25:48
Speaker 1: Well, let's hope you don't pro create girls. Oh and the girls always look just like their dad from what I've heard. All Right, Schwartzy, thanks for sticking around for the Boner episode. I appreciate you. Thank you guys for listening to another episode of the Bonus untraditionally, Lala, I will catch you guys on Wednesday and again next week. Bye.