Can An Alpha Female Have It All w/ Quiana Watson?

00:00:09
Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweetie. I'm Christine and Hazlet and today I have with me my dear dear dear friend, Keanu Watson. Hi, y'all. We got Keana Watson on the sofa. Oh my goodness, I've been trying to get you here. You're so busy. Yes, so thank you for even today you came in on the phone closing deals.

00:00:31
Speaker 2: Always always thank you for having me. Of course, it's such a great vibe with you.

00:00:35
Speaker 3: Always. I look forward to us having a like a chat like we always like.

00:00:39
Speaker 1: We always do listen. We always make time for each other and take you like, okay, girl, we gotta go on the calendar. Yes, yes, because we're so busy. So that's one thing I love about you. You're so you're so committed to making sure that you have time with your girls. Absolutely. I love that.

00:00:53
Speaker 3: And it's like we go through our calendar.

00:00:55
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen that meme that says, you know, look at two people in business and all they do is check their calendars for their availability. It may take us about an hour, but we come up with the date and time due and we stick to it.

00:01:06
Speaker 1: And I love that me too, Yeah too, because you'll be like what about this, And I'm like, no, that don't work. What about this? And no that don't work. You're like, all right, what about this. When you're like that one works, You're like, all right, this is it.

00:01:15
Speaker 2: And I like the intentionality because like when we get with each other, we try to not touch our phones and not be on our phone so we can really engage in connecting that time and it's just a perfect it's always a perfect setting for us.

00:01:26
Speaker 3: So yeah, you're a good friend.

00:01:28
Speaker 1: You are too. I love you. When I think about you, Ken, I always start the show with a song girl quote, and when I think about you, I think about how you are. So this what you see is what you get like you. It's no fakeness about you. You're very matter of fact. And the quote that comes to mind is find out who you are and do it on purpose. Oh I love that. Yeah, I mean every like I said, I really feel like you're one of my friends where every day you wake up you wake up with purpose, absolutely, and you're one of the most go get her women I know, which is why today we're going to talk about can the alpha woman have it all?

00:02:06
Speaker 3: You know?

00:02:06
Speaker 1: Because I know for me, as an alpha woman, I have gotten to a point where I say, well, maybe I can't have it all, you know, because in my life love that one area always seems to kind of fall short. You got your list, and you're like, well, I got this, I got that, I got that all right? Lord, I got everything. Else where's the man? Where?

00:02:30
Speaker 2: So?

00:02:30
Speaker 1: I thought you were the perfect person to bring on. You are just so amazing and we can talk. I know we can tell right this forever. Let me start by saying this.

00:02:39
Speaker 2: I think when people hear the word alpha, I want any male that's here in this does not mean non feminine, all right. Alpha means leader, Alpha means someone that is in charge. But that doesn't mean that this person is walking around with masculine energy. And I feel like that's the immediate thing that a man thinks when you say alpha anything. I want to debunk that immediately because as I navigate my business, you know, I am in a male dominated field, you know, running a real estate brokerage and doing this all the other things I do. But when I come home, I don't want to I want to be feminine.

00:03:16
Speaker 3: I want to be soft.

00:03:17
Speaker 2: I want to be able to have someone tell me what we're having for dinner or what the plans are, make plans and let me just walk into that soft energy. So, an alpha female is someone that definitely dominates in their life and their world. And I think you name your personal life you want to have, You have a direction you want to take in, but that doesn't necessarily mean you won't allow a person to lead you.

00:03:39
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you know, and let's take like having it all?

00:03:45
Speaker 3: Right.

00:03:46
Speaker 2: I think that that was I think it's such a profound statement.

00:03:49
Speaker 1: Right.

00:03:49
Speaker 2: This year has been a very rocky year for me in my personal life.

00:03:55
Speaker 1: Right.

00:03:56
Speaker 3: And I said, if I was going.

00:03:57
Speaker 2: To talk about this with anybody, I was listening to a sermon and it said, y'all have these public relationships and you want everybody to fall in love with you, where really you're sharing the highlight.

00:04:07
Speaker 3: Reel of your life, right, Wow?

00:04:09
Speaker 2: And then when something devastating happens, you get quiet and close up and I think that you know it does Everyone's looking like, now you don't want to tell us what happens.

00:04:19
Speaker 1: Everything you know you shared everything else.

00:04:22
Speaker 2: And I'll start off with the immediate thing. I think that we all have to have time to process before we share absolutely, you know, and I think in the world of social media, I think that we have to be careful with how we share because there's more people involved than just the two people or the nosy people that want to be nosy are the people that could.

00:04:42
Speaker 3: Be praying and cheering you on.

00:04:43
Speaker 2: Sometimes you have to say, this is an ad my real life has to matter first. Let me figure, let me digest this and take my time and work through this in my real life, and now I can publicly address it way. So can we have it all? I'm going to be I don't think so. Not at the same time. I don't think that you can have it all at the same time. Wow, I don't think you can have it all at the same time.

00:05:05
Speaker 1: Why do you think that you have way more experience than I believe. So I'm definitely curious because I want these answers.

00:05:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that when I look at I work with a lot of women that are married and they also have children, and they want to have.

00:05:19
Speaker 1: These incredible careers.

00:05:21
Speaker 2: And when I look at my career, I don't have children, to have a dog. And when I was married and I in that situation, it felt supportive. So I was able to just focus on my work, yes, and just stay focused on my work. And by doing that, you know, I would say this year, with the challenges I faced in my relationship, I feel like a lot of that come came.

00:05:46
Speaker 3: Because I was too busy.

00:05:47
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:05:48
Speaker 2: And you know, as a woman, when you're going around and you know, I'm on these stages like you contended gracefully. Came to one of my online training events, right, you saw firsthand. It's like I'm standing in line, I'm taking pictures for an hour and the person you're with is like, at that time, they're no longer that person's name. They become the wife of that the husband of that person.

00:06:12
Speaker 3: Right.

00:06:12
Speaker 2: I've had people say that and my prior relationship, they were like, oh you are Keiana's husband.

00:06:18
Speaker 1: Wow, Like like he loses his identity.

00:06:20
Speaker 2: They lose their identity. And it's not what you do as a person. It's just that you have this notoriety and you're growing and you're ascending, and you know, I don't know about you, but when I'm laser focused on the goal, I don't see anything else.

00:06:34
Speaker 1: I'm tunnel vision too. Literally, it's bad.

00:06:38
Speaker 2: And so when you when you don't see anything else, you can feel like everything is great around you, and unless someone verbally pulls you to the side and say, listen, I'm not happy here, which most men don't. They want you to fill them or see them right, and they want you to see how they feel like you should be in tune with me. So nobody's pulling you to the side, and you think everything is great, wake up, like, oh it's not.

00:07:02
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I and you know and you And the first thing.

00:07:05
Speaker 2: I did when I when I when I recognize so like, my relationship is in trouble.

00:07:10
Speaker 1: Right.

00:07:11
Speaker 2: I looked at my I went through my life. I went through my phone, I went through my archives, stories, my art. I was like, what was I doing on this day? What have I been doing for the last couple of years, getting on planes, speaking on panels, selling houses, working from sun up to sundown, going to all the big stuff?

00:07:27
Speaker 1: Right?

00:07:28
Speaker 2: I have my person with me, So I think, when you're with me, you're with me, but they're not really with you because that's not intimate time. Those are that's your stage time. Think about that when we're at events. And I love everybody that loves me, I love y'all back, But when we're at these events, that's that's stage time.

00:07:46
Speaker 1: That's not intimate time. It's not not with your person, it's not wow.

00:07:50
Speaker 2: And so I do think that when you are building whatever you're building a career as a woman, I do not think you can have it all at one time. You're going to have to decide what's most important.

00:08:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, what in that moment when you said you realized my relationship is in trouble. What were some of those hard conversations that you had to have because a lot of time, you said, a lot of times men are not going to tell you, hey, this is what I need. You need to be in tune with me. And I think a lot of women do that too. We sit around, we're like you should just know, yes, you know, and communicating is so like important in relationship absolutely. What was that moment like and what were some of those hard conversations where you were like even had to look within self to say, oh, dang, well you said you went through the calendar, you went through your Instagram, Like, where was I like, Oh, I really have just been focused on my work. What were some of those conversations.

00:08:45
Speaker 2: Like for me when I started to look through my schedule and I'm adding up these timelines, and I'm you know, I'm obsessive.

00:08:52
Speaker 3: With everything, so whatever, whatever it is.

00:08:55
Speaker 1: I became obsessed with it.

00:08:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I said to myself, I was to be. I was too busy focusing on what I wanted to gain. I just now became intentional even with my friendships, because I was too busy focusing on building my career. And I'm like, Okay, well they see what I'm doing, they can wait. So that hard conversation was is if you were on the other side, if you were on the receiving end of this, how would you have handled it? Would you have felt neglected? And when I asked myself those questions, the only difference is I would have felt neglected, but I would have communicated that neglect exactly. I would have communicated it. I wouldn't have let it fester. But that's because it's a level of communication that I have and maturity that I have about life and change. But I would have absolutely felt neglected.

00:09:48
Speaker 3: I would have. So I asked myself.

00:09:50
Speaker 1: That hard question.

00:09:52
Speaker 3: We've been in therapy.

00:09:54
Speaker 2: We talked through it, and what it comes down to is you grow.

00:10:00
Speaker 3: I was in a ten year marriage.

00:10:02
Speaker 2: You grow and you change as a person when you're with somebody, but if they are only remembering who you were, and they don't want to grow, and they don't want to see you grow into this person because this person is no longer as available, as catering, as attentive. So it's not that they don't want you to ascend, they don't want you to go away from them.

00:10:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know, it's almost inevitable. As you continue to explain, you're getting further way, and either they're going to have to choose to be supportive and be your biggest cheerleader, yes, or they're going to feel that insecurity and neglects absolutely. Yeah.

00:10:36
Speaker 2: And so I think I know that's what happened in my relationship. And I when I look at other women and they're married, or they're in a relationship, or they have a kid, I see that they choose they work less, they spend more time with their children, they spend more time with their husband. That is why when you think about it, you know, as women, we started this soft girl era, we started this software era because even me, how I am in this space I am today, I don't want to work as hard as I work to build.

00:11:09
Speaker 3: Now that they neither. I want to.

00:11:12
Speaker 2: I want to be able to enjoy what I've built, and now I want someone.

00:11:19
Speaker 1: To take control.

00:11:20
Speaker 2: That's why I do feel like gender roles, even though they're hybrid a little there, should they should still be separate, because I do recognize that women, we're not designed to work hard forever. It doesn't work well for our mental it doesn't work well for our physical bodies.

00:11:37
Speaker 3: And I do think that when you're.

00:11:40
Speaker 2: Looking at having a relationship and you are building a career, I built a very I built a great career.

00:11:49
Speaker 3: I have no and I say this all the time.

00:11:51
Speaker 2: I don't have any regrets about building my career, but I wish that I would have been able to go back and say, Okay, let.

00:11:58
Speaker 1: Me pay a little bit more attention.

00:12:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, even though I didn't.

00:12:02
Speaker 1: Get the proper communication right right, you know, I want to know what that process was like internally for you, because I feel like I saw the whole thing play out, how you got to the point of doing the self reflection and realizing, Okay, these are things that I did to play a part in this, But I'm not excusing the behavior that he did.

00:12:21
Speaker 2: Absolutely a lot of that is journaling. I started to journal every single morning. I wrote down my thoughts, doing the research all my life, yeah, and saying, okay, this is what your focus was on right now. A person may have never said anything, or may not have complained and didn't really tell you their feelings, but as a person, would you want that done to you?

00:12:46
Speaker 1: And then when I thought about it, I'm like, I'm not.

00:12:47
Speaker 2: Excusing the behavior, but I'm taking accountability because as I progress in this life, I have not given up on love. I believe in partnership. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe that you want to have that one part person that is your person. And because I've experienced it and how beautiful it can feel, I don't want to block it again. And I want to be able to recognize the science within myself and what I'm doing if I ever get back in a relationship and position someone the wrong way, right, so I can take accountability for my actions by saying I made these decisions and I don't and moving forward, this is the difference.

00:13:27
Speaker 1: But I don't excuse what you did.

00:13:29
Speaker 2: So to not excuse what you did, you got to go through your own healing. That means your own therapy you know, we can go to church, but we need both.

00:13:38
Speaker 3: We need therapy in church. Let's mix it together.

00:13:41
Speaker 1: It's a combination.

00:13:42
Speaker 2: And then we need to be able to eloquently communicate our thoughts. So that's how you can have accountability without excusing because you're watching the person do the hard work while you're doing the hard.

00:13:54
Speaker 1: Work as well. Yeah, oh that's good and that's powerful. I've noticed, and I know when you talk about every thing, yeah, but one thing I noticed is that this situation has brought you both closer to God.

00:14:06
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

00:14:06
Speaker 1: You started the year coming to church. You're like, I'm in church, and with everything that's going on, that's the one thing that neither one of you have veered from. It's almost brought you closer to God. You know, what has that walk been like? And even just growing closer to God and even helping you because I think sometimes when we're not in tune with God, it's easy for us to just push people away. But when we've learned the grace of God, then we start to look inward and see through people through God's eyes. What has that process been like for you, guys?

00:14:36
Speaker 2: The process has been difficult, right because what happens is as much as you want to walk with God, and you're saying that God is walking with me. We live on this earth and we're dealing with the adversity of other people's opinions. Yeah, and then we have to look in the mirror and we have to deal with our own egos, our own pride.

00:14:57
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:14:58
Speaker 2: And it has been a very different And as I always say, God will do exceedingly and abundantly. You know, I always talk talk that verse to myself because.

00:15:08
Speaker 3: I'm like, he can, he can, He's a healer, he can.

00:15:12
Speaker 2: If I want this, if I truly want to work through it, if we're willing to do the work, eventually it will happen. But I'm in a place where I want to make sure I've done the work because I don't feel like.

00:15:23
Speaker 3: You can hear God if you are not doing the work.

00:15:26
Speaker 2: Because obviously, sometimes we want what we want so bad, and maybe God doesn't want that for you.

00:15:32
Speaker 1: You know, so I've been there.

00:15:33
Speaker 2: You know, it's like we want it so bad, we want to we want to put God's scriptures on our own decisions.

00:15:39
Speaker 3: Because we want it so bad. You know. I'm I'm I'm a human.

00:15:43
Speaker 2: Do I want my life where I'm like, yeah, this is my man, my man.

00:15:47
Speaker 3: Look at this like I want that.

00:15:51
Speaker 2: You know, I want what I thought I had. I want that back. So as bad as I want it back, I know that it's I'm in a season that I need to hear God, and I want God to speak through me, speak through him, and we'll know, we will know if we decide to walk this path again, that it is the right path and God is in the center of it.

00:16:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's beautiful. I remember your husband made it public that he had done something and you woke up you didn't even know he was gonna do it. No, What was that like when you wake up and more now, like you know, because I woke up, I said, er, I said, this is when we do it. What was that like when you wake up? You know what I'm saying, and you're like, oh, wow, he's made this public now, you know, not giving it details, but like he let it be known that he had done something wrong.

00:16:46
Speaker 2: This is the thing I think for me, I was so I was so blindsided get angry.

00:16:52
Speaker 3: I was both.

00:16:53
Speaker 2: So I was blindsided and angry about what took place. And so as I'm feeling like forget this, this is over forever talk again.

00:17:04
Speaker 3: You know, I had everybody. If you have Instagram, it's called close friends, and then.

00:17:08
Speaker 1: You have a subscription.

00:17:10
Speaker 2: So I had a subscription that we started when we went on our ten year anniversary trip, and I'm like, well, I'm gonna share it in my subscriptions, like you painting this right sat Bart's and I kept it, but I never would go back in it. So I was like, I'm on this healing journey. I'm gonna go on my subscription. I'm going to tell them, hey, Anthony did these things, and he did these things, and you know, I'm gonna take you guys on my healing journey and blah blah blah. And this was like I was in the middle of the funk of it, like I'm gonna show them I'm back outside. I'm gonna make more money, sell more houses, be on more houses, like I'm I'm feel like, you know, like the green gyre like that. And then the dust settle, things calmed down a little bit, and I said, you know it, just something hit me.

00:17:57
Speaker 1: One damn.

00:17:58
Speaker 2: Remember I told you, I said, I don't want to close friends and I don't want a subscribe to my life is not up for sale, and I deleted my subscribers, I deleted close friends because I feel like if I can't post it freely, then I shouldn't be posting it right. And when I did that, this was before him and I even decided to talk again or even talked about reconciliation.

00:18:20
Speaker 3: And then, you know, of course a.

00:18:22
Speaker 2: Few people caught wind of that video, and you know how bad news spreads past, and you're doing this to Keana, and you did that, and I think it was so many opinions coming at him, right, and here we are, you know, trying our best, like we're going to church, We're trying our best. He's talking to my mom, you know, And I think he felt the need to just say, with all this going on, you know, the good thing about being popular and attractive and likable is so.

00:18:49
Speaker 1: Many people love you. But then so many people see.

00:18:52
Speaker 2: In you what they did not accomplish within themselves. And so instead of people looking and saying, this girl is going through it, this man did something that hurt her.

00:19:03
Speaker 1: And I'm going to pray for her. Yes, I got attacked.

00:19:07
Speaker 2: You know, I had people truly like wanting to make it my fault of whatever he did. And I think that for him, it was like, if I can't do anything else, I can at least try to defend her, you know, I can at least try to at least say this because I'm getting it.

00:19:26
Speaker 1: How can you get it? How is it that you are attacked and you are the person that got you know?

00:19:32
Speaker 2: But I recognize that these are broken people, and hurt people want to hurt people. And when you're broken and you're hurt, and you know, it's like, oh, she portrayed this perfect life.

00:19:42
Speaker 1: I didn't portray a perfect life.

00:19:43
Speaker 2: I showed you highlights of my life, and you portrayed you said it was perfect.

00:19:48
Speaker 3: I never said that.

00:19:50
Speaker 2: You know. I grew up in the South. My mom said, house business is house business. So let me tell you something and let me tell you something else. I'm never going to truly share everything because I did.

00:20:02
Speaker 3: I wasn't raised that way. We was when we.

00:20:04
Speaker 2: Were really raised that way, And it's just it's in me. That's why I don't do too many personal podcasts. That's why I don't do too many personal events. It's all business for me unless you're a really close friend, you know. And so I think that for him. That's what I think he wanted to at least say, let me defend her in this way. That's the least I can do.

00:20:25
Speaker 1: Wow, you know, I know that definitely caught us all off guard. I'm close to both of you. Yeah, Anthony's helped renovate my home with his team, and you two have built this amazing business together, and I want to speak to that too. I had called you one day before all this had happened, and I said, hey. I was like, I'm looking for a general contractor. The one I had is like charging way too much. He said, oh, Anthony can do it. He's got a team. I said, okay, cool. Then all this happened and we went to my I went to Miami and you were like I'm coming yes, So you're like, oh girl, I gotta kid. And I was like, if you don't want me to work with him, let me know. He was like, no, I do not want him to lose any clients. And in that moment, you were so broken, but your heart posture was still I don't want to take anything away from this man, absolutely, and I said, my God, like that spoke volumes to why I love you as my friend. And the type of person that you are in the integrity that you have to be at your lowest but still not want to see the person that caused the pain to you suffer in any kind of way. And I was like, my goodness, I was like, if I could take anything away from this whole situation, it's just how you handled it with so much grace. He really did.

00:21:41
Speaker 2: And I say that, and I tell people God has been carrying me.

00:21:45
Speaker 3: You know it's intentional.

00:21:46
Speaker 2: I remember when we went to that basketball game and I said, I'm looking for a good church, and you said, go to change church. And I started going. And I have been out of town, I've been out the country, but I will either be on my cell phone and watching I'll watch the replay. Are at tending person, And I think I wouldn't say that diligence in getting really connected and having someone to be a vessel to really give me that, give me that word and allow me to and want me to yearn for more. So I'll research on my own and started opening my own Bible and ordering books and ordering things to help me.

00:22:21
Speaker 3: Pray through what I'm going through.

00:22:24
Speaker 2: I will say that is what has carried me through this because I tell people you can be you can literally be broke, but you cannot be broken.

00:22:33
Speaker 3: Right.

00:22:33
Speaker 2: So as much as the situation broke me, it didn't break me.

00:22:37
Speaker 1: You know that's a message.

00:22:39
Speaker 3: Yes, it did not break me.

00:22:40
Speaker 2: I was I was able to steal function you were, Yeah, and I'm grateful for that.

00:22:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's beautiful. During this journey, I know it's taken a lot of self reflection. What have you learned about Kana through all this.

00:22:55
Speaker 2: I've learned that I can definitely be a little selfish and when it comes to what I want and how I see things, So actually being open to other people and allowing everyone to feel seen is something that's important to me.

00:23:12
Speaker 1: I think also through this situation, what I've.

00:23:14
Speaker 2: Learned is you can love people, and you can have people close to you, but you have to be the alpha and the Omega of your own life and your own decisions. And I've learned that I'm not easily influenced by other people's ins I'm like, you can think what you want, but I'm gonna do what I want. And I love that about me because I know that at the end of this life that I have and I tell people this story all the time. You know, my dad, he passed away from cancer. He was only fifty two, and he did not He had sarcoma cancer.

00:23:49
Speaker 3: Star coma cancer was this cancer.

00:23:50
Speaker 2: Of the soft tissues. They removed a seventeen pound tumor. He went to everything, he got better, and then he immediately got worse and passed away in like a year and a half.

00:24:01
Speaker 3: And he didn't want to suffer.

00:24:03
Speaker 2: And at the end of his days, when I was spending time with him, he reminded me to live my life unapologetically. He reminded me that you need to make sure that you live this life for you. And I'm reminded of that every time i have to make a difficult decision.

00:24:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, every time i have.

00:24:19
Speaker 2: To face some adversity, I'm like, this is my one life and as long as I'm internally happy and I'm pleasing God.

00:24:26
Speaker 1: I don't care what you you or you think about that.

00:24:30
Speaker 2: So that's one thing I learned is my strength and that and then I want to say my best trait that I've learned is now I'm very intentional.

00:24:38
Speaker 1: I am very intentional.

00:24:39
Speaker 2: About checking in with everything I'm talking about. From spending time with my nieces, my nephew, my mom, my friends. You know, even in my business, making sure, I feel like it's softened me. It's the situation has softened me. Like I check into my team, I check into everybody more because because I recognize that being that one, like being on that train and just pushing forward. It's a lonely ride if you don't have people with you.

00:25:11
Speaker 1: That is so true. That is so true. And with all that, what has this process taught you about forgiveness? I know that's a tough thing to do sometimes when you're the one that was hurt.

00:25:22
Speaker 2: I'm still forgiving. I'm still forgiving. I give myself the grace.

00:25:29
Speaker 1: But I do know this. The closer I get to the forgiveness part, the lighter I feel.

00:25:36
Speaker 2: The lighter, the better my days are, right, you know, the easier it is for me to enjoy my life fully. Joy from within me, right, that glow that you get so like, I can see that glow. It's coming because I'm allowing myself to say, you have to forgive what you can't forget. And there was some one actually gifted me a book and said, learning to forgive what you can can't forget.

00:26:00
Speaker 1: Oh, and she's gifted me this book and I.

00:26:03
Speaker 2: Started to read it and I'm working to finish it, and I plan to finish it through the holiday seasons because what I recognize, if you cannot truly forgive someone, how can you expect God to forgive you? Because none of us are perfect. We have done imperfect things in this world. I have done so many imperfect things. I have made so many decisions that I feel like, dang, that was a terrible decision. Or I was a terrible friend, I was a terrible sister or a terrible daughter, And if I want God to forgive me, I'm going to have to forgive that person.

00:26:36
Speaker 3: Right.

00:26:36
Speaker 2: So forgiveness is one thing, and then reconciliation is another. So I'm working on the forgiveness part now because I gotta forgive or it's going to eat me up and I don't want that.

00:26:47
Speaker 1: Pen talked about that at church on Sunday, saying that a lot of times forgiveness isn't about the other person, it's about your own healing. Yes, yeah, that's so true.

00:26:56
Speaker 3: It is so Forgiveness is something I'm still working, but I take it the day at.

00:27:02
Speaker 2: A time, and I recognize my feelings and I talked through them and that has helped me towards that forgiveness journey.

00:27:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, so good. I think it's something that you and I both have discussed and that we have in common is that we're in our forties but have not had children yet. Right. Do you feel like, because your career was just taking off, that that was something that you just felt in the back burner or did you not even want to have children? What was the decision in that.

00:27:27
Speaker 2: It's a lot of factors in that. That's like a that is a layered question. I'll say when we when I first got married, I was on birth control. So most people assume, oh, she can't have kids. It's like child I was on the depot shot before I got married. I stayed on the depot shot. I didn't have a period for almost seven years because the demo shot took it away and I was enjoying my life. So that's when I met my husband and when we were when we got married. So then when it was time to like, Okay, do you want to have kids, so I get off the shot. Yes, get off shot. They do all these tests and it took me a whole year and a half to start having a cycle again.

00:28:04
Speaker 1: Oh wow, what did you have to do to st just had to.

00:28:06
Speaker 2: Wait, said you had to wait, and you had to take it was like your progestion levels were off and all that stuff, and so they were like, take these vitamins, take that.

00:28:14
Speaker 1: And so then.

00:28:14
Speaker 2: Once everything started to even now you know, we start having these testing.

00:28:20
Speaker 1: So we're taking tests.

00:28:21
Speaker 2: I'm getting my test and he's getting his tests. And I'll say, with respect to a little bit of our privacy, it's always it's sometimes it's both people, or sometimes it's one person. It's the assumption is always said it's the woman. Yeah, right, that's gonna be the easiest thing to assume. But in my situation, that's not the case. Right now, you know my eggs are geriatric.

00:28:43
Speaker 1: They gonna tell you that child.

00:28:45
Speaker 3: Can I just say a disclaimer.

00:28:46
Speaker 2: If you are in your early mid twenties, early twenties, late early early thirties and you say, I don't know if I want to have a child, and you're financially able, please go freeze your eggs because by the time you get over thirty five, they will call them geriatric. I don't care how good you look. You can drink all the green tea, eat all the salad.

00:29:08
Speaker 1: Your eggs are But it's true. It's like they literally just put me in the grave.

00:29:15
Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, this geriatric can I And so when you when that happens, I think that I came to terms with it.

00:29:23
Speaker 1: We went through an IVF cycle.

00:29:24
Speaker 2: It was unsuccessful, and I was like, well, we have a beautiful life. You love me, we have a dog, we travel, I'm a great aunt. You know, you already have a daughter, so everything is beautiful.

00:29:37
Speaker 1: I don't I'm indifferent.

00:29:39
Speaker 2: I'm indifferent about having a kid now because now I don't I don't necessarily want to commit to going through the.

00:29:44
Speaker 3: Process and.

00:29:47
Speaker 2: Having that type of failure or blow come again.

00:29:50
Speaker 3: Right. So I would say it was a combination of all of it. And I came to that conclusion at the end, like I don't you know if as long as it's us, like you know how like mister big and Kerry was like me and you're just too Yes, I was.

00:30:03
Speaker 2: I was fine with that, you know, And that's just the decision that it's a lot of It's like I said, it's a lot of caveats that come with that. There's a lot of layers in my situation. It is not just that my eggs is geriatric. It is the person that I want to conceive with also has some challenges. And so that is how it all kind of rolls.

00:30:22
Speaker 1: Right. Did that affect you guys anywhere? Did you both agree like we both we love each other and were good?

00:30:27
Speaker 3: We both agree that we loved each other and we were good.

00:30:30
Speaker 2: And then it's like, but now as we're going through our challenges, is an agree. It's like, maybe we want to revisit it. Maybe you want to see what can be done, and so we shall see.

00:30:42
Speaker 1: You know, I love that. I know a lot of people talk about freezing eggs and you've gone through the whole and beatrop process. What was that like? Because I've never done it. I'm actually scared because I've heard a lot of different stories about it.

00:30:55
Speaker 3: I want to say, if you're scared, if you're afraid of needles, you're.

00:30:58
Speaker 1: Going to have a hard time.

00:30:59
Speaker 2: And you feel I kind of felt like a loan scientist because there are certain things you have to mix yourself. Everything is not pre mixed, so certain things you're gonna have to watch a little video and mix it and put it. Yeah, so then when you get everything set up, and you know, you get your get into your flow and you don't mind sticking yourself.

00:31:16
Speaker 1: Is it like a needle, like that's just poking out of it? Like is it inside a cartridge that you just punch? Yes, like it's a cartridge car. Okay, So now that one where you can see the needle and you're like sticking it in yourself or it's like you just like this and punch it.

00:31:29
Speaker 2: You just go like that and punch it. Okay, so you're gonna have to punch it. And but it changed my one. Of course, I got bloated everybody I think they get bloated in but beyond being bloated, it changed my temperament. Like literally I became a completely different temperament because again, when I'm in work mode and we had just launched Watson Realty Code and I was having a team meeting and I am I do not cry for real like that, I started crying to my agent because I was like, this is my first agent. I'll never forget get Kiara, my very first ad man. She's stilled my agent buility to this day. And I was like, you have to sell at least this dollar amount. It was a certain dollar now I needed her to sell and I started crying and she was looking at me like what is going on?

00:32:16
Speaker 1: And I was like, is this even me? It's like watching.

00:32:19
Speaker 2: Yourself in an outer body experience and you're experiencing emotions that you know normally you wouldn't have. And I think that those are the two that would be the biggest thing for you. Forget the bloating I heard a bigger shirt, but not being able to control my emotions, especially in the business field, that was the biggest thing that I would say watch out for when you go through it. Don't be in a position where you got to make a lot of hard decisions quickly.

00:32:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good. That's good. I want to switch gears a little bit and talk about watching reality code. Okay, and how we met? Yah. I met you in twenty seventeen when I was purchasing my first home. Yes, and we were like four houses in now like, yeah, you have been with me every step of the way and it's grown way past being my relator. But I remember not knowing anything that my friend Chevin. She was like, oh, my boyfriend time he knows a realtor. Her name is Keana and I was like, okay, well give me your information and she black and she was like, yes, that's perfect, and we met and we ended up finding this townhouse that I just loved. Yes, and it ended up being one of your preferred lenders, was their preferred lender, so we like didn't have any clothes. It was like five thousand dollars, touch your closing calls, all these things just lining up. And I remember we got to the house and the guy, the person who was doing the open house said, well, somebody's already left to go get their earnest money. Keana literally like all right, well we'll wait, and he's like, I said, we're gonna go get our earnest money, We're gonna come back, and we're gonna wait. And the person never came back, so we gave him by NESCA and while we were once we came back with the earnest check. You literally sat with me at that dining room table and read the entire contract with me so that I understand that didn't explained it to me, which makes sense why you do agent tools for success now, because you want people to understand what they're signing up for. Absolutely, there were no when I got the house. It was first of all, I was seamless because of you. But I also learned so much during that process because you weren't just trying to get a check, no, And that was before you had your own brokerau, you know, so you've always taken it serious. So for anybody who may be watching that wants to be a relator, can you kind of walk me through the process of what even made you want to be a realator and what that journey was like.

00:34:33
Speaker 2: Okay, when I first got my real estate license, I just thought I'm just gonna be successful.

00:34:37
Speaker 3: I'm good with people. I can make this work.

00:34:40
Speaker 2: But it wasn't until I spent some time in property management that I got a better understanding of reading through documents and interpreting meals and running reports and understanding the market. So when I really jumped into real estate full time, and that was in twenty fifteen, September twenty fifteen, what I recognize is that I have a certain.

00:35:03
Speaker 3: Way that people trust me.

00:35:06
Speaker 2: Right, It's like people come around me and because I've always been hungry and not thirsty, and let me tell you the day, let me tell you the difference. The difference is I can take my time with you. I can show you six houses, I can show you ten houses, I can show you one, and I can make sure you understand what you're doing and understand every step of the way. And so I'm big on putting together processes. So I'd be like, well, let me write this down so that way they can understand, or let me break this down in layman's terms, so in comparison to what they see on this contract.

00:35:37
Speaker 1: This makes sense to them.

00:35:39
Speaker 2: And I just started to run my business that way because you never know where someone is going to lead you. And I always tell people start how you want to finish, right, start how you want to finish. And so if you're a future I think for me when it came to real estate, I recognize that one. I love houses, I love people, and I love winning. So when you have that salesmanship, you're going to enjoy this business.

00:36:02
Speaker 3: Because it's beyond the customer service.

00:36:04
Speaker 2: The same way the woman there, she wanted us to increase our offer while we were waiting for the other officer. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm not gonna increase nothing. I'm gonna save you some money so we can wait here until the doors closed At six and now the doors are closed. You're gonna take this offer at this price? Yes, and we and everything worked out. So you gotta you have to enjoy sales, and then you have to enjoy people.

00:36:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you definitely didn't. You made that. You made all the process. It's so seamless. Even I know I had found a house on Mount Pairing. Well, Tyler actually found the house. Oh lord, and I said. Keana was like, Tyler didn't found this house. And she goes, all right, let me find out who's who's listening it is. And we went and looked at it, and You're like, it's gonna be a lot of work. I was like, hmmm, okay, it's a lot a lot of work. And then nine months later I was like I can't do this anymore because we got the house and it was taken forever to get permits. And I called Tyler and I said, hey, I think I found the house I like. And he's like, we'll send me pictures of it. So I sent pictures. Yes, and then he goes, go get your house out, buy the other house. Girl. And I said Kean, I said I want to go look at this house. She's like, let's go, let's go, and within like every time I call you, because I'm the type of person where I may need to see it a few times. Every time I call you, you were right there. He needed to see it, and You're like, I'm there. And it was another house we had already. It was another one in the middle, had the.

00:37:27
Speaker 3: Offer us and we over there still looking at house. It was a whole nother house.

00:37:31
Speaker 1: The whole that house was beautiful. It was beautiful.

00:37:33
Speaker 3: It was just.

00:37:33
Speaker 1: Position wrong, but it was gorgeous. We already had an offer on the other house under contract. We was under contract. I said, this girl is crazy.

00:37:41
Speaker 2: But at the same time I also recognized, I know, I know Georgia law.

00:37:45
Speaker 1: I know we're within the.

00:37:46
Speaker 2: Time period that she can get her earnest money back. So if you're going to have second thoughts, you need to have them right now. Yes, before we get past this contingency, which is called the due diligence period.

00:37:56
Speaker 1: If you guys want to know.

00:37:57
Speaker 2: So, the state of Georgia only is that's the only time on the persons cele agree with that you can terminate without calls. That means you can get your earnest money back. You don't have to have a reason, so I knew we needed that and I and I felt like, this is such a huge purchase, you know, so you want to be as you want to be extremely happy and extremely sure about that decision exactly. So it was, it was, But it's always good touring with you guys.

00:38:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh my god.

00:38:23
Speaker 2: When Tyler shows up, it's just hilarious.

00:38:26
Speaker 1: Tyler Perry Perry.

00:38:29
Speaker 2: I'm like, Tyler, it's hilarious because he has on all this stuff like nobody.

00:38:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, like he's and then the guy we leave it in there like is that.

00:38:39
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, and I'm thinking to myself, you may may maybe you maybe not.

00:38:45
Speaker 1: And I'm like he needs to be a realtor at this point. No, seriously, yes, well you know his first passion was architecture, so yes, when we went to that house, he literally sat in this in his car, pulled out a piece of type and paper and started drawing up the plans and he was like, this is what I want the house to look like architects. And I was like, I don't like this house, but I like what you just drew.

00:39:04
Speaker 3: But I want to be here.

00:39:05
Speaker 1: You can make this look like this, And we're good. But you've always been there. I just I just love that now when it comes to actually running your own brokerage, getting to this alpha woman that you are, what is that like? Because you you have a beautiful office, you have so many amazing ladies that work under you, that you mentor that look up to you with such adoration. What is that like on a day day? Basis knowing that you have all these women that are depending on you and your guidance to succeed, and knowing that this business has your name on the on the front door. It's a lot of pressure, you know.

00:39:41
Speaker 2: I had someone ask me it was like, it looks like you can't like you've changed, And I'm like, you have to change when your level of responsibility changes to who much is given, much is required? Yeah, you cannot move and operate the same way. You have to be mindful of what you've built, who's looking to you. And these the agents that work for me, they're full time, most of them are full time, and so under my tutelage, under my brokerage, they're feeding their families, they're taking care of themselves. And what I found is have I make sure that I cross my t's and I dot my eyes like I've always done. So instead of doing that like with a contract like I did with you, I do that when it comes to my business. I want to make sure we have the right training, the right resources. They're getting the right leadership and they know that they can. They're looking to someone that not only has done the work, but encourages them throughout the process. And that is what's so important in leadership.

00:40:37
Speaker 1: People. You have to lead from the front. Yes, yes, when you lead from.

00:40:41
Speaker 2: The front, people will absolutely follow. And that pressure is you know, pressure sometimes burst pipes, right because sometimes like yeah, I just want to be soft babes, worry about none of this, y'all go break them emails, emails, read yourselves something of the laptop slams, the slap, laptop shut right. Sometimes some days it is like this because you're like whoa. But at the end of the day, it's rewarding to know that you what you worked extremely hard for is now coming to fruition and it's being successful and people are receiving it well. So that is something that I just day to day I manage it.

00:41:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Now what is it like having to fire somebody being the boss? I know, you grow so close to these women. Oh yeah, and you care about them? What is that putting that hat on?

00:41:33
Speaker 2: Like okay, so I've had to do that and it's not directly a fire because well, well this is two parts. Okay, I've had to fire some assistants. Those are people that have worked for me. An agent, you just kind of dissolve the relationship because there are independent contractors. You can say, listen, I just don't. I no longer want to hold your license here. And I made that tough decision as I was growing this brokerage at the top of the year, I was like, next thing, I blinked and I had like sixty agents.

00:42:01
Speaker 3: What I'm like, how.

00:42:03
Speaker 1: Did this happen?

00:42:04
Speaker 3: Right?

00:42:04
Speaker 2: Because everybody want to work with and so there are people coming from my other team. People are recruited because I was thinking this, I just get more agents, and you know, I'm going to do less work. And at the same time as I'm growing more agents, I'm getting all these development relationships. Right, So now I'm representing subdivisions. It's no longer one house. Now, need to say that again. Now it's no longer one house, it's a subdivision. Yes, But that was like ten houses.

00:42:30
Speaker 3: You need to list this fifteen house community.

00:42:32
Speaker 2: You need to list this enclave of six houses, and they're all new construction. It's a great developer. Thank you to Delfis and Nick and brothers. And through that relationship, now I have like eight different developers that I work with. And I said, oh, I'm being and I'm very aware of who I am. And I said, okay, I am being pulled.

00:42:53
Speaker 1: I'm being pulled.

00:42:54
Speaker 2: In a whole lot of directions because now I have all these agents with me and they have their demands. I have my online training academy that has its demand. I have my own book of business that's a demand. I have the Q Watson team that's a demand goodness, and then I have Watson Realty Code and all that. And I said, you know, I can't. I have to first evaluate what brings me the most joy and then secondly, what brings me the most income. Joy and income was the first two things that I calculated, and I said, I have to I'm gonna have to trim this fat. And they were producing agents. They were producing agents. Shout out to all of them. I'm still really good cool with a lot of them, and some of them I want to say this directly. I don't want you to feel away. It comes to the point where you have to put your own oxygen mask on first.

00:43:45
Speaker 1: Yep.

00:43:45
Speaker 2: And when I recognize I'm getting these development relationships, I can't not build this part of my business and cater to the demands is that they feel are necessary to be a leader in this part of the business. So I made the tough decision to release them respectfully, and I did it in such a respect way. I gave them back all their listings. Most brokers, when you write a contract with the brokerage, even if you leave, that contract is in the name of the brokerage and they get to keep it and they can release you and keep your contracts so they can keep your buyers, they can keep your sellers. It doesn't belong to you because you like to say you work with me. You get ten people under contract and it's under Watson Realty Code, and I say, you know what, Crystal, you can no longer work with us.

00:44:30
Speaker 1: You have to leave you.

00:44:32
Speaker 2: I can release your license and those are technically my contracts. But that is that's how the law works. That's why it's a brokerage. It's a pass through and I gave everybody all their deals, gave it as long as it enclosed within three days of them leaving. I gave them all their deals back, and I did it in the best way.

00:44:53
Speaker 3: But it wasn't about them. I think that people always want everything to be about them. It was about me.

00:44:58
Speaker 2: I have worked extremely hard in this capacity, in this career, and this happened before I thought, before the relationship issues came. Okay, honey, let me make that clear, because everybody's like, oh.

00:45:07
Speaker 1: She had relationship. Is she let go these agents? Right?

00:45:11
Speaker 2: The agent got let go before I, before the relationship issues transpired. I released the agents because I had to choose me. I said, I am not going to be stretched thin in this season. I remember that I can't do it. I want to enjoy my life. I want to enjoy the people that love me, and if I continue to stretch myself.

00:45:28
Speaker 3: Then I won't have anything left for me.

00:45:30
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:45:31
Speaker 2: So I just made the decision to choose again, which gave me, what gave me the most joy, and which gave me the most income.

00:45:36
Speaker 1: I love that we talked about the industry being such a male dominated industry that you work in and for alpha women When men are alpha alpha men, they are successful, they're the most successful out of the group. They're elite, a leader of breadwinner. But when women are the alpha female, then it's oh, she's a bit, she's vicious, she's cold. Has it been like navigating those areas? I feel like as women like I said.

00:46:04
Speaker 2: That's why I say, when you say that word alpha, that just means leader. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm cold. But in certain aspects of my business it can. It can feel cold. When I had to send those emails to release those agents, it could. I'm pretty sure it felt cold because I But at the same time it was direct, a certain assertive for the situation.

00:46:26
Speaker 3: It was right.

00:46:27
Speaker 2: I think that we have to be mindful that you cannot run a business like you run your personal life.

00:46:32
Speaker 1: No, you can.

00:46:33
Speaker 2: What Beyonce says, she said in business being polite does not mix. But she did say you can be fair, but when you're when you're out here being polite, you're being unfair to yourself.

00:46:43
Speaker 3: And I have a learned that in business.

00:46:47
Speaker 1: In business, you cannot always just be polite to people.

00:46:51
Speaker 2: You have to be fair and stand in your stand, strong in your integrity and move forward.

00:46:56
Speaker 1: I love that. Oh my goodness. I want to ask Keana, with everything that you've gone through in the year of twenty twenty three, yes, what are you going to do different in twenty twenty four? And how do you want to move.

00:47:10
Speaker 3: Forward in twenty twenty four.

00:47:14
Speaker 2: I want to continue to really nurture my relationship with God. I want to be so in tune with God that I hear his voice very clearly, so when he tells me to move, I move.

00:47:26
Speaker 1: Yeah. I want to move slower.

00:47:29
Speaker 2: I am an intentional person, and if I don't like something, or if something is not going the way that Keana says it should go, I quickly disassociate and I quickly make decisions and I don't.

00:47:43
Speaker 1: That's another thing.

00:47:44
Speaker 2: You cannot run your personal life like.

00:47:45
Speaker 1: I would make the same decisions in my business life. That's good.

00:47:48
Speaker 2: So I want to go into twenty twenty four slowing down, like not being so.

00:47:52
Speaker 1: Quick to decide.

00:47:54
Speaker 2: And I want to spend more time enjoying the little things. Think that I got so caught up, Like I want to go to Central Peg went to I want to go to Italy, went to Italy.

00:48:05
Speaker 1: I want to go to this, you know, I got to be on.

00:48:06
Speaker 3: This big boat.

00:48:07
Speaker 1: I did.

00:48:08
Speaker 2: I did it now, I definitely did Paris at least three times.

00:48:13
Speaker 1: Right, I just want to go have chicken wings and all of that.

00:48:18
Speaker 2: Right, But I oh, not only you know, let's let's not forget being the VI p risers and watch Beyonce with your friend Chrystal.

00:48:28
Speaker 1: I bet y'all didn't.

00:48:30
Speaker 3: But I want to do one of the small things.

00:48:32
Speaker 2: I want to be able to have like intentional lunches like we did the other day with my friends and not let it does. Everything doesn't have to be a photo op or video op. Right, we didn't take We spend a lot of time together and we don't take pictures. We won't take pictures at the events because again we're on the stage. But we know we have a personal relationship. You have nothing to prove because we call each other all the time.

00:48:55
Speaker 1: You have my real personal number, not just the public business. Hello, I got k.

00:49:01
Speaker 3: And so I want to spend more time.

00:49:03
Speaker 1: I want to spend more time with.

00:49:04
Speaker 3: Friends and family.

00:49:05
Speaker 2: I want to enjoy more of the little things and still sprinkling a lot of the big things.

00:49:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Well, I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you. I'm You're constantly in my prayers. I'm one of those friends that I'm cheering you on, and I hope that you feel the support and that I only want you to be happy and whatever that looks like.

00:49:27
Speaker 2: For Keana, absolutely, you are one of the most non judgment judgmental people, but you also are very much so.

00:49:34
Speaker 1: Like I heard you and then you give me your opinion.

00:49:39
Speaker 3: Without it being a judgmental opinion.

00:49:43
Speaker 2: People really can't help themselves when it takes a certain special type of person to be able to give an opinion that's not biased or based on their own experiences. So I appreciate that and I feel that love, and I hope that you feel the same. I am always supporting you out I'd be watching your show. I'll be watching your show, but beyond that, I'm always just rooting for you and your greatness.

00:50:08
Speaker 1: You know, I you know I love watching the show.

00:50:10
Speaker 2: I called her one day and I'm not going to say what happened, but I said, I watched this episode and I think you need to take this date.

00:50:20
Speaker 1: I won't.

00:50:20
Speaker 3: I won't ever. I will because the thing about it you have built and guess what.

00:50:25
Speaker 1: You can have it all, but maybe not at the not at all.

00:50:28
Speaker 3: At the same time, think about this hiatus.

00:50:31
Speaker 1: Because I think you do. There are some things have to take a sacrifice, yes, and I'm learning that. And so you've done all the hard work.

00:50:37
Speaker 2: You know how much you have to work, and when it's gonna be done, you don't have to over exert yourself. And you could focus on a relationship if that's what you choose, okay.

00:50:46
Speaker 1: Or you can be you can be.

00:50:48
Speaker 2: You could be a walking Haylo walking fake filter and just and let everybody see your greatness. But whatever and whatever it is that you want.

00:51:01
Speaker 1: Out of this life, I support it. Thank you so much. Sins Oh my goodness, Kiyata, thank you.

00:51:07
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you so much.

00:51:09
Speaker 1: Love you, I love you so much. Now we are going to do one of my favorite parts. It's positive outcomes, where our listeners write into us and we give them advice. Okay, all right, so this one says Hi Crystal. I recently turned forty one this year with no kids, and I've been working in education since the age of thirteen. My career is going great. I brought my first home at the age of thirty nine, and I'm very independent I absolutely hate dependent on a man to do anything for me. My dad taught me how to change my own tires and breaks who grew Okay, all right, I don't know how to do that. However, my hyperindependence has caused a lot of confusion and past relationships. Should I just play the damsel in distress, which would literally irk my nerves? Help us us out? Well? First of all, I've had to learn this because I was a single for so long that when I did have a man in my life, I didn't know how to allow him to lead. I didn't know how to let him do things like if I did get a flat tire, I would just sell you s to handling everything on my own. That I didn't make the man feel needed. And I don't think you have to be a damsel in distressed because I feel like if you play that role, eventually's gonna get on the man's nerves. Yes, of course, yeah, But I do know that it's important to let the man feel like he is needed in the relationship. Let me tell you something.

00:52:28
Speaker 2: Oh, I remember I did this podcast, y'all, and I was on the stage with my prior relationship, and I said, I don't need a man, I want you as my man.

00:52:40
Speaker 1: I said that.

00:52:42
Speaker 2: I meant it when I said it, because I in my mind, I'm thinking, tell you that you wanted.

00:52:46
Speaker 1: Yes, it's going to elevate like it's like yeah.

00:52:49
Speaker 2: But for a man, it's like, oh, you don't need me. It's a different thing. I would say, you got to learn to let these men lead, and you need to be the damsel in distressed. I can with my past relationship ship and us trying to work through it. The first thing I said is I want to be a paper princess.

00:53:04
Speaker 3: I can't figure out nothing.

00:53:09
Speaker 1: Tell me what.

00:53:09
Speaker 3: Time to show up.

00:53:10
Speaker 2: I don't care, like I don't want to be in charge of the tickets. Wherever you decide we sit, that's where we sit and right, because see, sometimes we can get like that too.

00:53:19
Speaker 3: As women.

00:53:20
Speaker 1: We're like I want to sit on this road at this section.

00:53:22
Speaker 2: Yes, first, but sometimes let the man lead and whatever they can do and however they want to do it, let them.

00:53:29
Speaker 3: Do it and show up and be happy for it.

00:53:31
Speaker 1: Because they didn't have to do it.

00:53:33
Speaker 3: They didn't have to plan a date for you.

00:53:35
Speaker 2: They didn't have to plan this, so instead maybe they planned a picnic, but you wanted to go and.

00:53:40
Speaker 3: Have five strips of Wagou with extra trouffle. Relax. I think, relax and read the room.

00:53:47
Speaker 2: And I think that if I could give her any advice, I would say, you say that you don't need a man, but let's be clear, you don't need a man, maybe for your financial support or for that physical support. Since the girl can change his higher that's emotional support of a man. No girlfriend can feel it. Yeah, No, a man can't fulfill that emotional support from your girlfriends and your family that love. Each of those love pockets are different, and that love pocket from a man.

00:54:19
Speaker 1: You do need that. So I had to recamp my message. I do need a man.

00:54:23
Speaker 3: I want a man and I need I.

00:54:26
Speaker 1: Want that emotional support. I want that love pocket.

00:54:29
Speaker 2: Feel you need to really think about that and stop saying that you don't so you can get what you need and live your life.

00:54:35
Speaker 1: Oh I'm taking that advice, Keanu, because I definitely has said I don't need a man, but I want one and I feel and I thought the same thing. I thought that when I say I want you, it's a choice that I'm making that I want you, and I thought that meant something they want to feel they do. That's so good. Thank you so much for writing in, and please take her advice because I'm gonna take the next thing we do is what I'm going through and what I'm growing through. Okay, And just off of what we talked about, I am I definitely need to work on allowing men to lead when I do have that opportunity again, allowing them to lead, not being in control. To what you said about, I need to sit on this road. I want my WAGU with the extra troufle I want to go this way. I want to drive this kind of car like I want to fly first class. I want to say this kind of hotel like I have all these things that this is what I like. I have to allow the man to leave, yes, and preparing myself. I think those are things I need to work on so that when the next one comes I can be ready.

00:55:46
Speaker 2: I absolutely think so. I think it's a beautiful thing to allow a man to lead. And if you like my aunt told me, I had to go.

00:55:55
Speaker 1: I had to go talk to my old school aunt.

00:55:57
Speaker 2: I know that as I'm dealing with and going and growing through what I'm growing through, and they were like, you know, the man is the head, but the woman controls the neck. And she said, Keana, if you want a man, if you control in the neck, they're going to turn whatever way that you're controlling a man, and men are controlled with nurturing. With love and nurturing and femininity, you'll get more instead of demanding.

00:56:23
Speaker 1: And I bet you you'll still end up having the wagoon with the extra truffle if they have to work.

00:56:28
Speaker 2: Two jobs to make sure you get it, because now you're controlling the neck and they want to.

00:56:33
Speaker 1: Do it for you. Yes, that's beautiful. Yeah, freakame y'all, she just gave it to you. That's so good. So what are you going through and growing through? I would say I'm.

00:56:43
Speaker 3: Going through.

00:56:45
Speaker 2: My personal relationship battles and really trying to make sure I find the light in that whatever however that turns out right, and being okay with knowing that I'm allowing God to.

00:56:58
Speaker 1: Grow me through the situation. I feel like even in.

00:57:00
Speaker 2: That growth, I'm going through it, but I'm growing through it because at the end of all this, I'm going to be a much better woman, and that is an overall woman, to a mate, to a friend.

00:57:12
Speaker 1: To a better daughter. Better sister, better aunt.

00:57:15
Speaker 2: So you know, I feel like situations happen sometimes to really humble you and to make you look at the mirror and say, you know, maybe you are not as together as you thought. And that's what I'm growing through right now.

00:57:27
Speaker 1: It's so beautiful. I love it. Before we close out, we do what it's called keep it blame sweetie, Okay, And when I think of you, I think of keep it keep it private, sweetie. Oh yeah, yeah, certain things. Just keep it to yourself. There's things to share because you want to help other people learn and grow through their experiences based off of what you've you've dealt with. But there are some things where you say, I'm going to keep to myself like that. Yeah, I love that. I'm in that season.

00:58:03
Speaker 2: It's definitely keep it private with you, and I don't think it's anything wrong with that. What can you really think about it? What you really love, you protect, you do, and what you truly love and you care about you protect. If you see me with my nieces, I'll say, send you a picture of video or.

00:58:22
Speaker 1: How often have.

00:58:23
Speaker 2: You seen them on my social media page?

00:58:25
Speaker 1: Same. It's why I just asked the other day, did I have any siblings because I don't.

00:58:28
Speaker 2: You know why I don't because I really love them and I want to protect them, and I realize that there are so many outside forces that I don't have control of. And they didn't ask for this type of platform. They didn't ask for these people to take a screenshot of them and try to criticize them. So you protect what you love, and that can be friendships.

00:58:48
Speaker 1: So even though we may not post each other.

00:58:50
Speaker 2: All the time, every single meet up, we know what we have and we're probably post a picture and say, hey, we went to this event, But every single meetup is not a photo. Some thing that you absolutely love and you trust, you keep close to you, keep it to yourself.

00:59:04
Speaker 1: It's so good. What would you say, keep it blank, sweetie.

00:59:09
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, keep it real, sweety.

00:59:15
Speaker 1: I heard it. Keep it real, sweetie.

00:59:18
Speaker 2: I'm in that a space where I'm keeping it real with myself. I'm keeping it real with people that are around me. And by keeping it real with yourself, people are forced to accept you for who you are because you are no.

00:59:29
Speaker 3: Longer walking around with some mask.

00:59:32
Speaker 2: Because guess what, a mask that you walk around with will always eventually fall off.

00:59:36
Speaker 1: So keep it real, Sweetie. I love that. That is so good. Thank you so much, thank you. I'm so so proud of you, guys. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of Keep It Positive Sweety. If you want to write into our Positive Outcomes listener letter, you can write into Keep It Positive Sweete at gmail dot com and that's Sweetye with an Ie. You can follow kIPS on all platforms at Keep It Positive, Sweety, and you can follow me on all platforms at luv Chrystaline. Keana. Tell the people where they can find you.

01:00:03
Speaker 2: You can find me at Keana Watson dot com, Keanu Watson on Instagram, Keanu Watson on social media, and of course Watson Realty Co. That's my real estate brokers here in the metro Atlanta area. Any of the twenty five agents can service you, and then my online training academy for those that are looking for guidance and growing your real estate careers go to Agent twosfosuccess dot net and you can find me on all those platforms.

01:00:27
Speaker 1: Yes, and if you want to learn more about Keana, she has a book. I forgot to say that you're also an author. Oh yes, yes, clear to clothes. We were talking about how beautiful you were on the cover. Thank but yes, give us more insight on her life and everything that it took to get to where you are today. Absolutely yeah, we couldn't get it all. I couldn't get it all in an hour. But you can purchase the book as well and learn so much more about this amazing woman that I'm so honored to call my friend.

01:00:51
Speaker 3: You are such a great I love you, I love you more.

01:00:54
Speaker 1: Thank you for knowing this. This is a safe space for sharing your story and I know so many women are going to be from this. I pray. I love you. I love you. Yes, so good. Dear God, thank you so much for this day. Thank you for waking us up. Thank you for your mercies. Dear God, how ask that you continue to allow us to reach everyone with this podcast, spreading more positivity into the world. Dear God, as that you use me and Keana. We know that so many people look up to us and look to us for inspiration and light their God. But I want to shed truth. I want to shed some love today. I want people to see the authentic us, to let them know that we are just like them. Dear God, Thank you, for Donor. Thank you for her guidance. Thank you for the annoyting that you have in our life. Their God, God blessed why I am. Thank you for his talents. Thank you for allowing him to be a part of this family. Dear God, we love you and Jesus. Then we pray Amen, Amen, Amen,