#298: The Five Minute Practice that Changed my Life (with guest Katie Day)

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Elsie

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You're listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast, your cozy comfort listen. I'm your host, Elsie Larson.

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Emma

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And I'm your host, Emma Chapman.

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Elsie

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This week, we're joined by our bestie, Katie Day, who is here to share the five minute practice that

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changed her life. We'll also discuss our hot take about

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Emma

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white tennis shoes.

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Elsie

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Yep, welcome Katie.

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Katie

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I am so excited to be here. You guys, when you did your intro just now, it sounds just like when you do

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your intro on your podcast.

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Emma

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We did it twice, and she got to hear that because it wasn't right, and that's pretty normal.

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Katie

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I also wasn't expecting such a cozy chair. I feel so hosted.

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Elsie

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We're so happy you're here. Yeah, we're gonna have our Magical lunch after this. And life is beautiful.

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Emma

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It's very cave chic down here.

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Katie

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Yes, caved chic. I am excited. I hope that you get to do your sandwich over again, because I heard on

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your podcast that there was drama with your half sandwich taken by your dogs that threw out your

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back.

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Elsie

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The dogs are mean, I am well.

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Emma

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The puppies are bullies, and I've now had this sandwich, and I confirm best sandwich ever.

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Elsie

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It's magical.

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Emma

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I would probably be like I have to rehome these dogs now.

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Katie

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Okay, well, I brought you guys a tiny little go. You have to fight over who gets what?

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Emma

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Okay, now our listeners are gonna be like, Why don't they have video? Because we're not content.

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Elsie

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We will eventually, okay, romance reads, yep, I heard you like better we traded, yeah. So it's

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bookmarks. One is Who told you which I took and the other one says, romance reads, which I handed

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to Emma, yes.

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Emma

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And it has spice level and titles. I'll fill this up this year. That's fun, and they better all be all the spice

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levels, so we're just like, didn't like it.

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Katie

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That is who I assumed each one would go to. I'm glad they found their rifle home. Yeah, just a stick of

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butter. That's it.

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Elsie

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I love butter, actually. I mean, because, you know, I love popcorn is one of my top favorite foods.

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Emma

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I think if you meet someone and they're like, I don't like butter, I'm like, You better explain your allergy

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right now or get the hell out of here.

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Katie

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That would be the hottest of takes.

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Emma

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Melted, hot, melted, hot butter.

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Katie

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If someone writes in and says they don't like butter, that could be a whole episode.

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Elsie

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Some, some of the hot takes we get are kind of like that, really. Okay, so we're tossing it to Katie. She is

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the leader of this episode, and we are merely here to learn.

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Katie

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I am so excited to be here. I also you guys can cut this if you want, but don't cut it. I feel like you need

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that. Your listeners need to know, like a reference in real life of how wonderful of people that you are.

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Can I just, like, sit here and compliment people you guys are just saying no, just shaking your head, no.

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I didn't shake my head, no. You guys actually, literally have, like, changed my life, just through your

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generosity. You guys. They housed me during covid. I had no house, and you let me stay in your

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Airbnb. And I will never, ever forget it. They were renovating. We were renovating. We had nowhere to

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go right before the stay at home order, and Emma's like, we have this, like, extra house. I noticed you

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had no houses and we have an extra house. I noticed you have four kids and no house, would you like

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to say? And it was wonderful. And you guys have been so supportive while I write a book. And I just

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think you are completely the most wonderful, generous people in the world. And people need to know, if

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you wondered, if you're listening, what are they like in real life? They're great.

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Emma

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Thank you. It's very kind. I think we've fallen in on your podcast before, too.

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Katie

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You have, back in the day. Yes, yeah, lemonade stand.

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Elsie

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So yeah, Katie's podcast is called Shelly and Katie's lemonade stand.

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Katie

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It's true, positivity turning lemons into lemonade all the time. But yes, I just wanted to make sure I said

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that. But you want to know how to change your life in five minutes?

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Elsie

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Yes. Okay, so I'm realizing, before we jump into that, do you want to just tell like, the elevator pitch of

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who you are and why you talk about habits.

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Emma

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Yeah, because you might be like, she's not gonna be able to give me any tips to change my life in five

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minutes. I don't know who this is, so probably, I mean, if they haven't listened to your podcast, then you

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probably should let them know why you are an habit expert and where they can find more of your work

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after you do change their life in five minutes.

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Katie

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Yes. Okay, so I am the stereotypical distracted, creative type. I'm an Enneagram seven I was in a habit

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of my life of starting a lot of passionate things and then not following through on any of them. So a lot of

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times that was reflected in my house. Sometimes that was reflected in my health. I get really excited on

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a kick, I would not follow through. And then I was sort of always picking up the pieces of these things

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that I started. And I started to realize that if I wanted to contain my like crazy, my passion, I would have

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to start creating systems. So I started systematizing literally everything. And what I realized is, like the I.

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Creative energy that comes out of somebody's brain when you're like, idea, idea, idea, idea,

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enthusiasm, enthusiasm. You basically have two choices. You can either numb that because it's really

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intense, or you can systematize it, automate it, never think about it again, and then free up all that

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creative energy to do the stuff that you actually care about. I tried both. I went ahead and I tried the

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numbing thing. I don't recommend that one. That one was not as helpful. So I kind of reached my own

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rock bottom. I talk about this a lot in my newsletter, in my podcast, I sort of everything felt way too much

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and too loud during covid. That was sort of my low point. We were renovating a house. Have you guys

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ever had any stress during renovations. Never, never. And, you know, obviously we're all facing this

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intense amount of uncertainty, uncertainty that we never, as a society, ever felt before. And I kind of like

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that moment in the Barbie movie where Kate McKinnon, as weird Barbie, is like, do you want to dig

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deep? And do you want to, like, be a big girl and you want to do, like, the hard thing, or do you want to,

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you know, just opt out and keep on living your life and numbing. And I was like, I will choose numbing. I

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want to do the numbing. I don't want to drink the wine, yeah. And so I numbed. I numbed so hard. I

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numbed in all the ways. I became somebody who not only, like, drank every night, but was like, let's do

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a drink. Let's all make a big joke about it, and escapism sort of became, like my entire personality

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during covid. And I honestly think like that probably could have been fine for a lot of people. It was fine,

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but I realized that, like numbing can also then become a habit. So I'd kind of like permanently altered

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my ability to, like, feel regular Joy, I kind of altered, like my dopamine levels, and I got used to numbing.

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Numbing became a habit. And so the world opened up. And like all my friends who were also day

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drinking, just went, like, back to work. And I was like, me too, great. But I was like, Wait, oh no, I this is

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literally becoming, like, a part of my life, of just like, how fast can I numb this pain? And so I had to sort

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of decide what I was going to do with that. And I am kind of dramatic the Gretchen Rubin idea of either

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being a moderator or an abstainer. I am very much I identify with an abstainer. And it is easier for me to

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do none of something than to do, like, one of something very jealous of the moderators looking at you.

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Emma, well, I feel like the people because Elsie is an Enneagram seven too, yeah. And the people who

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have, like, have all the ideas and all the passion, it's probably like more of a burden to have to

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constantly make a decision kind of about the same thing over and over, and abstaining is kind of like I

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made one decision, right? And now I'm not making a decision anymore, and I'm moving on to all these

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other ideas that I have an enthusiasm, whereas if you could moderate, or if you are a moderator, or

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however you want to look at it, then you're able to make a decision again and again and again and

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again, which might not be exhausting for you. It's not for me, because I'm a little tortoise, a little nine

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who's like, I'm going to go to sleep now, and I'll think about it again in a minute, and I go to sleep now.

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And so I just don't have the same wavelength. So I don't know I've because I think you guys are both

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kind of, like similar in some ways. Do I'm drawn to you? Katie, oh, like, I'm drawn to my sister.

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Emma

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Yeah. So, like, I like enthusiastic, optimistic people, but it can find a way to contain it. I think is an

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interesting thought experiment. And so tell us more about your experiment you went on.

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Katie

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Yeah. So my hottest take, I think, is anyone who says, like, I just don't have willpower. I'm like, I think all

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willpower is just decision fatigue. Like, when you feel like your willpower is running out, it's actually just

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your prefrontal cortex. I'm gonna talk a lot about the brain. Get ready. I love the I love science. Your

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prefrontal cortex is the same part of your brain that's responsible for decision making and making really

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good decisions, and it fatigues throughout the day. So if you've ever felt like, extremely motivated at the

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beginning of the day, and then by the end of the day, you're like, Whatever, I'll just eat junk food, it's

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because you have taxed that decision making power all day long. So yeah, all that to say I was really

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excited by this idea of, what if I just, like, take a moment, clean house, reset everything. I started

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studying dopamine and how, you know I was flooding my dopamine sinners with all this, like, artificial

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hits that my baseline level of how to experience joy had actually raised, which means I was like, waking

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up in a deficit. So I was like, waking up in a state of withdrawal, because I, you know, was already not

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getting, like, the hit of whatever I'd been flooding my brain with. When you learn about this, there can be

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a lot of shame attached, but I think learning the science made me go, oh, no, my brain's just doing

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what, like, what it's supposed to do when you flooded it with the dopamine that I did, you know, and

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now I need to recalibrate. So for me, it was easier just to take, like, a big break and just see what

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happens, and again, experiment. That's the word. I love framing everything as an experiment, because

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if you kind of decide, like everyone attention or world, I am now sober, it's like, way a. Lot of pressure,

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pressure. It's a lot of like, what like, that seems like a big decree. And I wasn't sure. I didn't know if it

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was something I was gonna do forever. I felt like that was the label made it more intense. So I was like,

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I'm just gonna do an experiment where I try to reset this stuff. I think I'm gonna go, you know, do a dry

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January. But I've heard that maybe it's better to do two months. I'm gonna do a dry January, February.

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But then I kind of got really into the research, and got really excited about it, and started to gain

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momentum, and said, This is where my story just gets a little bit this is the part where I say I'm not a

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doctor. Mnlc, are not doctors. Listen to your doctor. Maybe don't do what I do. It's pretty bonkers. So I

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kind of got on a roll, and I was curious about addiction transfer. So if I'm eliminating wine, it's very, very

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likely that I'm just going to copy and paste that right to something else. We just sugar is a big one. Just

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gave myself away. A little bit sugar is a big one. Or the one that is, like, hilarious, because it's not a

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substance, but codependency of any kind, like I, you know, if I before was I'm alone with this, this, like,

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scary thought, or I'm alone with this pain, I'm just gonna numb it with wine. I'm alone with the scary

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thought, I'm just gonna text a friend and just like, be like, hey, just checking in. Am I good person? Am I

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very you know, whatever, whatever you can do to just kind of, like, transfer that sitting with yourself to

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outsource it to something else, either a person or a substance. I was trying to not do that. I was not

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trying to find a new addiction. And your girl's an addict. She loves it. I love I love to binge. So I was like,

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I wonder if I eliminate what I would be most likely to transfer addiction to. If I eliminate those things, and

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I can't transfer addiction, right? So then I just started adding more and more things to my list. So it all

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started with stuff in my body. So I got, like, the alcohol thing going, got a kick out of it. Then I eliminated

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sugar, then I eliminated fake sugar. Then I was, like, getting really into, like this, like, just testing things

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for inflammation. So I got really nutritiony about it. But then I was like, Okay, what are the non edible

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things? So I was like, I'm gonna give up social media for a second. I'm gonna give up TV for a second. I

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can't binge Netflix if I just never turn the TV on. Right? Eliminating, eliminating. Have I lost your

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listeners already? I cannot wait to find out.

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Emma

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We've eliminated them.

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Elsie

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It is, like, unrelatable, but I think that's also what makes it a good story.

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Katie

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It's very unrelatable.

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Elsie

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Like, you tell me how it went for you, because I'm not gonna do it, right? Exactly?

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Katie

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Yeah, that's what, you know, that's what I described it. As I started to write about this in a newsletter, I

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was like, You know what? I'm gonna try everything so you don't have to. That will be the premise.

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Another little fun fact about me is, my background is actually in comedy writing. So I'm like, if an improv

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comedian, like, can go to CrossFit and write about it, like, that's, come on, that's fun. I am a skeptic,

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like, I am the one who doesn't do cheesy stuff, and so I'm gonna try all the cheesy stuff. I'm gonna do it

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as a skeptic, and then I'm gonna tell you what it was like. So you don't have to, right? So Elsie doesn't

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have to. So as I'm eliminating all these things, I think what was beautiful is, as we're, like, eliminating

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the decision fatigue, it opens up this space in my brain. Because, you know, all creativity is just problem

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solving as well, but I was using all of my creative problem solving skills on solving the problem of

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moderating. So then when I just made one decision, it freed up all this space to now be creative. So

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suddenly I had this desire to write a newsletter that I didn't have that a year before, I didn't have any

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space to write a newsletter, you know, going and trying CrossFit, going and making a vision board for

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the first time, going to a sound bowl, healing. All of that is creativity. Like it requires energy. I didn't have

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any, like, appetite for that stuff a year prior, because I was just trying to keep up with my, you know,

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problem of moderating, an addiction, you know. So it's really beautiful. What happens when you create

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space that you were previously using just to kind of keep the status quo going. You know? It was

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exciting. So what I kind of decided was I had been playing like defense in my life. I was really letting my

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life happen to me, and almost in a way that was sort of a victim mindset, but a sneaky one, because I

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kind of was always on the like, I was always aware when my kids would use victim mindset, when other

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people would use it. I don't think I was it was sneakier than that. I was just kind of like, well, oh, well, I

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don't know it's like a midlife crisis, but the most subtle, unsexy version possible. But I think that part is

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relatable. You know, I get a lot of people that ride and are like, I can't put my finger on it, but this can't

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be it. You know, I just feel low key dissatisfied, but I have everything I ever wanted. You know, that's the

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part that's like, the feeling is relatable. Okay, so now, what are we going to do about that? And so what I

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realized, too, was it's much easier to go towards something you do want than just to go away from

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something you don't want. So all of these fun I'll try everything so you don't have to that gave me

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something to do, like a wellness bucket list that I could start checking off, and then that filling up your

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brain, rather than just, like, what am I not doing? You know, I'm not drinking, I'm not having sugar. It

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gave me something positive to go toward. And I started playing offense in my life again. And through all

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these exercises, by the way, they're popular for a reason. They were all great, except for cold plunging.

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Emma

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Cold plunging was your favorite, right?

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Katie

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I did not love cold plunging and then CrossFit like much respect, but I was sore for, I don't even know, a

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month. I might still be sore from CrossFit. It was so hard, so, but I'm glad that I tried it right and it was

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really fun. I that entire newsletter I did only with Nickelback puns, so, yeah, that's my highest art I've

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created so far.

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Emma

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It's like, all the CrossFit people are like, either like, Wow, you really just saw me, or they're like, No way.

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Katie

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So yeah, playing offense in my life, and then realizing, you know what, I think I'm getting to the root of

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why I was so dissatisfied, you know, I think there's something inside me that is, you know, I had this

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really wonderful but very safe job. I think maybe I had just sort of gotten a little bored. I didn't have

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anything I was pursuing anymore. Everything had everything had just sort of leveled out. And to quote

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Tony Robbins, he says most of our midlife crisises happen from some type of plateau in the two

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categories of either growth or contribution. And so if you kind of feel like you had this big goal but

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you've leveled out, you can kind of start to have an identity spiral about that. You're like, I don't have

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anything I'm going toward. Going toward now contribution the same way, you know, a lot of people feel

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this feeling of like, you know, I was, I had these really young kids, so I was contributing all the time,

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every second of the day, and then they suddenly went to school, and I thought I'd feel so relieved, but

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suddenly, now I'm kind of, like, lacking. What is my purpose? How am I contributing? You know, so I

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was realizing I was plateauing in both of those areas. And the meta part is, is the stuff that I was most

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passionate about was this stuff. Was this stuff of self development. It's the stuff I can't stop talking

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about. It's the stuff I can't stop reading about. It's the stuff that I when I was a kid. I wandered my way

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into that section of the library and was like, what there are books about how to grow this is so

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interesting. So I decided I want to kind of just see where this goes, and start studying, literally, the

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neuroscience of habit change, and go get a certification and start learning about coaching others. And

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maybe I can help women like me, who are also the skeptics, but are like a little bit like the skeptic thing

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is not working for me anymore. I can't just make fun of that whole culture. I think maybe there's

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something to it, but I don't know where to start, and I don't know if I'm too far gone or if I'm too old to

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make a career pivot. Or, you know, if this is just this low key satisfaction, is that just the way it has to

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be? Everyone doesn't really like their job, right? This is normal. Everybody thinks Parenting is hard,

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right? Everybody thinks marriage is just kind of work, work, work. I mean, that's what we hear all the

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time. So it's like everyone hates their body. Everyone Yeah, right. What if I refuse to make that my

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narrative? Because I'll tell you what. I spent a long time with that as my like, North Star, and I've tried

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that now. So what if I try a new North Star? What if I refuse to let that be true about me? What if I refuse

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to settle for just okay now? What if, like, my marriage is fine, but it could be great. What if I could love

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my job and not just like, you know, I love a little, I love the money, yeah, and I do the rest, right? What?

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What would happen like? What if, that's the experiment now? What if I could actually wildly chase a life

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that I find completely satisfying, and not just just okay, I love it, and so we're gonna do that in five

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minutes, right? Five minutes. So is that five minutes? What set your time? The practice is five minutes,

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but it represents so much of what I learned. Okay, yes. Are you ready? Yes, let's begin. I would like to

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have a disclaimer that only you can change your life, but I'm here to assist. Yeah. So there's a five

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minute practice that I do every day, but it definitely represents so much more. So this was actually my

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first assignment from my coach. Shout out to Carolina, and it is the daily three and the very first step,

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this is what I do every morning. It only takes five minutes, so there's really no reason that you can't do

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it. The very first step is you pour yourself a giant glass of water, or, if you want to, extra credit, fill up

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your water bottle that you plan to just have near you all day long. So this is the quickest win. And if you

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can start your day with the easiest win, I'm not kidding. It signals to your brain that you are a winner,

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that you take care of yourself. Your brain is 75% water, and if you are dehydrated, your brain is not

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functioning optimally. So I never drink water in the morning. I only drink coffee. What does that mean?

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So if you are lacking focus, or if you feel like your mood is off, the first question I will ask is like, Have

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you had any water today? And then what's beautiful about this too, is if you'll just get in the habit of

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filling up. Your water bottle and keeping it near you, you don't even have to drink it, but you will, won't

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you, because if it's near you, you take little sips all day long, and if it's not near you, you don't so that's

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the very first thing you can do, and then you can sip on your water while you're doing the other two

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steps of these three. Okay, water. Have I convinced you to drink water?

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Emma

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Doable? Yes, doable. I'm convinced.

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Katie

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The quickest one. It signals to your brain like, I've already won, already today. I'm a winner. I think I'll

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continue winning.

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Emma

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Yeah. And it's like, I'm going to take care of myself. Yep. And it's also like, if you wake up and you're

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like, should I go ahead and get some of that Easter candy? Wait a second, I'm going to choose water

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first. Oh, nobody else is doing that every single morning. Okay, no problem. Nope.

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Katie

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I love that for you, if you want Easter candy, I think that's great. I almost wore a Halloween vest today,

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so I want you to get just whatever dopamine you want today. Okay, so water. Then while you're sipping

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on that water, you are going to write down. Do not roll your eyes yet. Please remember I did all this as a

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skeptic. It even works on skeptics. You're going to write down three things that you are grateful for. I

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realized that this is not rocket science, so let me explain why this matters. We were programmed with a

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negativity bias in our brain because of, I mean, think about literally, like early humans, surviving,

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surviving. This is true. We are supposed to run, sprint away from tigers, and we are able to just casually

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saunter toward berries. So if you've ever gotten like, I don't know, five compliments in a day and only

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one negative comment, chances are you're carrying around that negative comment, right? We can

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actually help rewire our brain to look for what is good, but we have to actually try to do that. It's not

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going to naturally happen on its own. So when you've heard the phrase like gratitude practice, literally,

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it's a practice, you're strengthening your gratitude muscle, and just by writing three things that you're

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grateful for at the very beginning of your day, you're creating the habit of looking for what's good. Now

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here's my little extra bonus. I will now use this if you're just now getting started the gratitude practice

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whatever. I mean literally, look around the room. If you think three things are cute, you write that down.

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It does not have to be that deep. It more matters that you're doing it every day. But now that I've been

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doing it for a while, I will actually use this three things to go to war and combat, play offense against

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whatever is currently bumming me out. So like, if I just got in, like, a fight with my husband, I will literally

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use this three things to think of three things that I like about him, and it will actually change my nervous

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system by the time I get to the third one. So if I was all riled up, literally by thinking about three things

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that are great about him, I can actually feel my system like calming down. And almost every religion in

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the world has some type of version of like, pray for your enemies, which I'm not saying my husband's

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my enemy, but, you know, in these moments when you're kind of like. It's great advice. It gets timeless,

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ancient advice from almost all religions. This is why we do it. It's because it changes your posture

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toward them, right? Whether or not it has any impact on them. It changes your you know, Emma, I

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remember you doing exercises like this a long time ago, and was very inspired by it. If you are currently

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trapped in like a work situation, can you write three things that are good about your work? And maybe,

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honestly, maybe you try this a few times and you can't think of a single good thing that's informative too.

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Maybe it's time to actually make a change, right? But give it a try first and see if you can't start carving

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that muscle to look for what is good about whatever's hard right? Now, are you in a parenting slump?

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You know, marriage slump, career slump? Are the big ones I always hear. Is it about your body? You

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know, can you think I can't think of any good thing about your body? Try sit for a second. The three

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things you can think about that you do like about your body. Is it your eyes? You know, give it a go and

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see if you can't start training that muscle to look for the good. You in?

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Elsie

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I love it. Yeah. No, I do. It's great.

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Emma

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It makes me think about too, like you were, like, walked in your backyard, and you realize, like, you

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always walk the exact same path, like, to the gate to open or whatever, and you start noticing that, like,

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the grass doesn't grow quite as well in that spot. And it's like, sometimes you've kind of like, gotten into

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a mode where you're like, I wake up, and the first thing I think about is how I'm annoyed that I have to

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do stuff with my kids and not do the thing I want to do journal or whatever it is, you know. And so it's like

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you have this groove and your brain just goes there. And so you're trying to, like, make your you're

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trying to give yourself new paths to the Gateway where it's like, oh, but I love the house I live in. I'm

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glad this water's clean. Could not be but I can just drink water right out in the tap. You know, whatever

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stupid thing you come up with for your grateful list, maybe it's profound, maybe it's dumb. It doesn't

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really matter. It's just kind of like getting you off that normal path so that if you're not doing the exact

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same one every day where you're like, I'm just upset about something, or I'm always thinking about this

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one thing that's bothering me or whatever, and I've forgotten about these other things that I already

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solved or whatever.

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Katie

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In you just described neuroplasticity, well done. And speaking of grass, one of my favorite quotes is the

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grass is always greener where you water it, right? I love it. I love so much. So this is. A little bit of

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watering that grass that you already have. Love it. Okay, so you guys are good on that one so far so

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good. Water. Three things we're grateful. Three things you're grateful for. Play offense against,

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something that's tricky, use that time. Okay. Now the third one, this is where I would have normally lost

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the past version of me who was a skeptic. I would have thought it was too cheesy, but this is the

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practice that most impactfully changed my life. You are going to write down a goal, but you are going to

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write it using the first person I call them first person goals. This is so completely important, and I can

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explain the neuroscience of why so much of our actions are actually being automaton, controlled by

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what we refer to in the coaching world as our beliefs. If you believe certain things, your actions will

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follow. If you can change that belief, your actions will follow. So by writing something you want to be

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true about you that isn't true yet, and this is what's so crazy, is another word for these are affirmations.

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But my clients, because my clients are all the skeptics, they refuse to do affirmations the second. I call

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them first person goals, they're willing to try them. And I think it's because you're admitting that it's a

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goal. I think that for some people to write down like I am beautiful, when you don't really mean that, yet

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lying, you feel like you're lying, or you feel like it's it's too cheesy, or whatever. You can't your brain is

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not buying in. But if you're writing down something like, I'm gonna use the I'm gonna stay on the

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marriage train for a second, because I was able to completely transform my marriage, and it's a big part

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of my story. Love you, honey. He's not listening. Ours don't listen either. But we love all of them. We

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love you. The goal that I would write is, you know, I have a soulmate marriage, not I married my

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soulmate. I have a soulmate level of marriage. I have an ease. There's an ease to my marriage. My

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marriage is playful. These are the types of goals that I would write down. When I wrote them down, they

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were not true yet, right? I wanted to start carving that new neural pathway that made that feel familiar to

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my brain. Our brain is always going to prioritize what feels familiar, because our brain is a energy

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conserving organ. So it's lazy. Yep, it's lazy, it's lazy. So we have to help it be lazy. So if it's never heard

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a phrase before, if it's never visualized something before, it's going to resist. If we can get some reps in

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on something and make it familiar, it is going to be easier to look for that. So now I'm going to tell you

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about my very favorite part of the brain, the reticular activating system.

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Emma

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Where is it located?

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Katie

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Well here.

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Emma

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I'm like, show me a chart.

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Katie

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I do have a chart. It is essentially our brain's curator and our brains filter. It is filtering so many things

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out all the time, because if we were to take in all the stimulus, we would implode. It would be way too

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much. It's doing a great job by curating what is only useful to us. So it's curating it based on our beliefs.

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So if I walk around with a belief that my husband and I have nothing in common, it is like this beautiful,

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dumb, loyal dog. It is going to go and fetch all the evidence to make that statement true for you

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because it is your subcontractor. It's not, it doesn't it's not biased. It's just going to listen to you. It's not

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that smart. It's not that smart. You want evidence that you don't have anything common. Here's another

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one, here's another one, here's another one. If I go to war with that belief, and I start writing every day,

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my husband, I have so much in common, it will also go and fetch the evidence to make that true for me

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too. You guys, both sentences are true, right? We have a lot in common. We have a lot and that's not in

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common. But what is a more helpful belief for you to walk around and source evidence for when I

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started opening my eyes to see how much my husband I did have in common, my heart was warmer to

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him, you know, and softer, and I was just more aware of all these things that I'd previously been

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automatically filtering out, because my brain was just doing what I told it to do, right? The most common

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examples like, you know, if you get a new car, you see that that car all over the street, but you never

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noticed that car before. My current favorite example is if you have a 13 year old boy, six, seven. Okay,

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right? We've heard this number forever, and now it's suddenly like very top of mind, like no one ever

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cared about it. And now it's this stuff happens all the time. This is the realest thing. It's a real thing in

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your brain, and you can actually hijack it, use it as a tool and make reality whatever you want it to be,

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essentially. So if you can do these three things in that order, you can start to actually train the muscle of

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seeing what is. It's always been there, but it's kind of filtering your life in a way that is more useful, more

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functional for your goals. And it works, and sometimes, you know, you almost have to realize what the

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old belief was. Was and kind of make it like, you kind of have to make it a little bit gross to you. So like,

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when I was struggling with alcohol, I'm like, what is it that I believe about alcohol that's making me still

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reach for this thing over and over and over again? So I wrote down, like, Okay, this, this must be what's

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true, you know, I'm I'm not fun without alcohol. I'm not, you know, sexy. I'm not that. You know, I wrote

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all of them down. I tried to make them as gross as possible, and then I'm like, Okay, well, what would

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be a more helpful belief? And then I wrote down almost, essentially the opposite, or at least neutralized

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it, right? Well, I'm I'm fun without alcohol. I was fun as a kid. I'm pretty fun. I was fun when I was

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pregnant. You know what I mean? I have evidence for that stuff. I wasn't fun all the time when I was

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pregnant, but could be 100% not fun for nine months. Oh, months long time, I'm sure there was not fun.

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And then you start putting that new, more helpful belief in, and you truly just have to get the reps and

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start looking for the evidence. So what's really wild is the more that I did this, the more it basically

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changed my default. Now I'm not saying those old beliefs go away forever. They become more like

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guest stars and not the leading role. So if my old belief was, my default belief was my husband, I have

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nothing in common. My new default is my husband. I have ton in common. And then that old one's like

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a little guest star that sometimes I just have to be like, nope, not. That's not where we're going with this

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today. We're like, all right, you got me on that one thing and going back now we're going back to the

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default. You know, one of my hardest belief changes, and I have changed many again, changing the

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default. This is not about perfection. This is about pattern interrupt. It's saying the old belief wasn't

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serving me anymore. I'm gonna try out this new one. I tried it out as a skeptic. I didn't know if it was

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gonna work. I can't believe it worked. It's It's amazing. If it can work on a skeptic, it can definitely work

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on anyone truly, that's kind of my whole vibe is, if I could do it, anyone could do it. I don't have, like, a

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very special brain or anything like that. I'm just willing to put the reps in, I suppose. So, one of my

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hardest belief changes was my old default was, if I find out that someone doesn't like me, I have to stop

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everything I'm doing and devote all my energy to winning over. No, no, that's my old default. My new

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default is I am no longer interested in winning over safe people, Unsafe people, right? Of course, like,

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of course, of course. That is a more helpful belief. But I had to get the reps in because, and I had to, I

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had to name what it was like. What was that that I was doing? Oh, gross, you know, to kind of gross

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yourself out by your old belief and really go head to headed with it. So this is a way that you can do this

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every single morning. I also sometimes do these in batches, right? Like, what are, you know, first

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person goals I could write for this entire quarter and then write them all down as if they're already true.

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It creates a visual in your brain. It honestly, it's like, it puts a pep in your step. Like, as you're reading

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these powerful statements, even though they're not currently true, you're imagining, what would it be

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like? What would life be like if this was true? And it almost always makes you, like, posture up and like,

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oh yeah, I like that. I love that my brain is now picturing that my brain's already working on it, even

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though I haven't even taken a step toward it yet. And do you feel like practical things? So we've got

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drink water. Start your day with drinking water. Then three things you're grateful for, then first person

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goals. So do you feel like these need to be in the morning? Can you break them up into the evening?

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Do you feel like you need to write it? Do you feel like you feel like you need to write it by hand? Can you

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type it? Just give us some you feel like don't matter. None of that matters. I like the idea of writing it,

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number one, because it's so fast, but also because it is, like one of my only analog things left that I

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have, yeah, but what's really cute too is because I also like journal and morning pages and artists way

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and all that. But these are only the positive things about your life. And what a beautiful journal to like,

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leave your kids like, they know that I'm doing this. And so they'll come over and be like, did I make one

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of the three things this morning, you know? And it's like they know what I'm doing. And so now, if you

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were to read like, leave any type of journal like, what a beautiful just snapshot of their childhood, every

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positive thing that happened, you know, and then your morning pages, that's where all the negative

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stuff happens. So no one needs to see those aren't for anyone else. You know what I mean. So I do like

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doing it just sort of quickly handwritten, and I doodle a little bit, and it's fun. Another really cool thing is,

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as the journal progressed, a lot of my first person goals moved up the line to things that I'm grateful for,

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which means that some of my goals started becoming true. So for example, like, I started writing, like, I

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am a writer. I write every day. Then, like, halfway through the year, when I got a literary agent, I started

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writing, I am an author. I am an author. And then, you know, when I got my book deal, I was able to,

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like, move that up in the line. Now I'm grateful because I'm an author. So it's like, you're watching your

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first person goals.

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Emma

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And now you are like, I'm a best selling author.

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Katie

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Which is good because you're if your growth plateaus, then, you know. So it's always good to have new

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first person goals. It's like, a helpful thing. So I do it when I first wake up. If I miss it for some reason, I

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just do it right before I start my work day again. It's five minutes. So it's like the easiest, most, just,

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simplest way to start this type of practice. And then if you're getting a kick out of it, you want to write

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longer. Go for it, of course. But it's always good to create habits based on your essentially worst, most

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rushed day, rather than a lot of us create habits and goals out of, like, our most ideal day, but we often

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don't have our ideal day, right? So it's better to have, like, a tiny goal that you can expand, versus a big,

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big goal that you feel like you're like, somehow losing if you truncate.

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Elsie

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I love that? Yeah, I definitely make my goals based on the best case scenario. Yeah, I get, like, really

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frustrated.

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Emma

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If everything goes according to plan. Here's all the things I'll get done in the day. And it's like, let's just

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fix this into like, what can you do when your kids are sick? What can you do?

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Katie

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Yeah, truly. Like, if it was the if everything went wrong, how could you move your body today, right?

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Yeah, I call it the minimum viable habit, MVH, and other times too, when I work with clients, because,

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you know, if I'm working with one on one clients, they'll assign themselves homework. By the next time

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we meet, they'll usually say something that sounds like the banner of like, I'm like, I know you're really

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motivated right now, when you're talking to me, you're literally talking to a motivational speaker. But

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what would be like, the gold, silver, bronze, like, what's the bronze version? So, you know? And they're

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all Olympic medals, so I may not take any of them, but that way you know that you have won, instead of

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just like this very lofty goal, that you can't do it. So this is, like, the easiest, quickest win, and it's great.

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And I have a blank journal. I brought it with me, but for like, two years of this, and my I'm a different

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person than when I first started these. And it's, it's beautiful, but also it's, it's a blank journal, so it's not

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like, there's, it's not dated. You're not looking at any days that you missed. You know, I probably did it, I

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don't know, 280 days of 365 that's a lot of days, you know what I mean? Versus like, going through a

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journal and being like, Oh, looks like I missed 100 times. It's like, I did it 280 times. That's That's

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amazing. That's like, a huge, huge win. So, yeah, don't get stuck in perfectionism. But I will say, the

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more you do it, the more these become your default, and positivity can become your default, and

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gratitude can become your default. And before you know you're living a life that you're not settling

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anymore. We don't settle anymore.

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Elsie

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Emma and I both paid money to for someone to professionally hypnotize us. But this sounds like it's

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kind of like the same thing that you can do to yourself every morning. So that's exciting for free.

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Emma

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It's a mini Hypnotize yourself every day. Yeah.

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Katie

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Well, to be honest, one of my certifications is in hypnosis, and I got five certifications again. Well, I also

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thought it would be really funny if a skeptic got if a skeptic became a hypnotist. So yeah, some of the

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things I did for the bit, but that was super fascinating. All hypnosis is self hypnosis, all of it so you were

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having somebody guide you to self hypnosis. Essentially, that's it. And all hypnosis is trying to do is

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rewire your beliefs faster. So when you are in that like theta wave state, your brain is more susceptible

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to neuroplasticity, so it's just like a It's another tool in the tool belt. But there's a lot of people that would

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never go do that, right? But this they might do. There's a lot of people that would never say an

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affirmation into a mirror. I was one of the I just don't think I still ever have. I'm sure it's great, but writing

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it didn't feel cheesy to me. So it's like, what is the version that is alignment with you, like, what is your

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threshold of cheese that you're willing to try? And then what's fun is maybe it'll work and maybe it won't

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work, but then you'll know. And I was shocked. I'm as shocked as anybody that I was able to change

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my default negativity to positivity, and this is just such a better way to live. So invest the time, and

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maybe it might work, but maybe it won't work, but hey, then you'll know it's an experiment.

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Elsie

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I'm so excited. I can't wait to do this. I want to do it with my kids. Have you ever tried this with children?

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Emma

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My kids will just start doing it. I can tell they just follow me around. That's the age they're at. So I'm like,

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Oh, they're probably going to do this too now, and we'll be like, I'm grateful for whatever weird thing

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they come up with.

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Katie

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You know, what's fun is my my kids have seen me do this, right? And sometimes maybe we'll do it, like,

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verbally on the way to something, or, like, how could we phrase that in a way that's as if it's already

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true, and all that kind of stuff. My husband called me once, and he's, like, before I went into my job

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interview, I just kind of jotted down, you know, I speak clearly, and the interview goes well, and I was

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like, you so excited, and he's even more skeptical than me, and the interview did go well, and it did, you

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know, it, I'm not saying like and then 1,000% of the time this all becomes true.

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Emma

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It's not making a wish with the fairy godmother. It's just like trying to change your life in a realistic way,

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right?

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Katie

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It's pretty realistic. And it's also like the science behind it is pretty strong that, you know, we sort of, we

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look for what we look for, you know what I mean, train yourself to look for the stuff that's more helpful,

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yeah.

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Emma

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And I think, like, I'm not much of a skeptic. I'm a pretty like, believe person, but I also am a person

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who's like, I'm like, What's the worst thing that could happen if I'm not scared of that, I will try it so. And

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I'm like, What's the worst thing that could happen if I drink a glass of water, say three things I'm grateful

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for, and first person goal set. I'm like, I feel a little silly, not scared of that immediately, going to try it.

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Yeah, that's like, what? I'm like, I'm like, who cares about skepticism. I don't even give a shit about the

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results. I'm just like, there's nothing to lose. So why not? Why wouldn't I try this? There's so much to

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gain, nothing to lose. Easy. Yay. So excited. Well, then she'll have to report back after a while. Yeah,

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because this is kind of a big commitment. You do it every day, yeah, and Katie has to too, whenever

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she becomes a New York Times, best times, best selling.

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Katie

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You know, I love writing first person goals that stretch me a little bit, because most of mine are still in my

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control. Most of my goals are, like, things that I completely control. So I will have to, like, stretch myself

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a little bit to do the ones, because I the result is none of my business.

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Emma

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There are a lot of factors out there.

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Katie

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My effort is my business, and I try to keep those sort of clear in my mind. But then I also want to open

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myself up for just crazy miracle stories. So you got to write some, you got to write some delusional stuff.

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Every now and then, most delusional people I've met do something kind of cool at least once, and I

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think it's because they're always trying delusional. It's true. So it's like, you know what's Michael Scott

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say? Right? You miss, he doesn't really say, is the way to Gratz, yeah, I love her that. Well, that is true.

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And like, again, if your brain defaults to what's familiar, your brain's always looking for evidence that,

00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:03.000
you know, things are possible. It's not going to try something that's completely impossible. So this is

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why it's really like, wonderful to read biographies of people who did, you know, wild stuff and it worked

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out. Because then your brain's kind of like, oh, it's not delusional if it worked for them. Or sometimes,

00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:06.000
yeah, if it works, sometimes, if it worked one time, you know, then give it a shot. Why not you?

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Emma

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Yeah that's what I think. And it's like, what do you have to lose? If what you have to lose is actually big?

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All right, think that through. Then, you know. But most of the time, it's not most of the time, I think the

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thing that holds me or other people back is like, I will look silly, I will feel sad, you know? And those are

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things. I'm not saying those don't matter. I'm just saying they're not I will die, or I will lose my house, or,

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you know, those are, those are, like, the big ones, but like the I will feel silly. I'm like, I have felt silly

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many times, and it does sting. I'm not saying it doesn't, but I lived through it, and so am I willing to live

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through it again for the chance it's something I really want? And the answer is yes. So it's true.

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Elsie

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I think the reason why most people don't try is they're like, what if I fail? And it's like, yeah, you might,

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you know.

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Emma

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Yeah, and it sucks. But what if you don't fail? What does that feel like?

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Katie

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Well, and often you end up pretty much exactly where you currently are, you know, which is medium,

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like, neutral.

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Emma

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There's that too, yeah.

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Katie

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The other thing too is like, you know, you'll at very least learn something. So say it is your job or your

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marriage, and you're like, Yeah, I am struggling to wrap my head around like, you know, say you're

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stuck in a place where you're like, I really am thinking a lot of negative things about my husband. I can't

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even write the positive ones. It's like, you could also aim for neutral, you know, aim for neutrality, and

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then see if you can't get to the positivity. Or this could be really revealing that something more serious

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needs to happen, a more serious conversation or an actual action. You know, if you can't think of a

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single good thing about your career, you know, that's really informative, so you can try it as a skeptic,

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and you may learn, like, if I can't change my brain, I need to change the thing. And that Grace says I

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need to change right my career, whatever, whatever it is. And another quote that really stuck with me

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during all this is whatever you're not changing, you're choosing, and it's just those types of things that

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put me back in the driver's seat of my own life. And instead of just feeling like I was in the passenger

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seat, going, I guess this is it. I guess I'll just, you know, kind of low key, be dissatisfied forever, yeah,

00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:38.000
getting in the driver's seat is, it's a lot more responsibility, but it's a lot more powerful, right? Yeah, it's a

00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:39.000
better story too, yeah, being the main character of your own life, who knew?

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Elsie

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Well, thank you for sharing your wisdom, and I have looked at the two years of journal page, have them

00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:42.000
right here. Show it to Emma. It really is so inspiring. So where can people find you? And is there

00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:43.000
anything else you want to say before we start jumping into our hot take?

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Katie

00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:45.000
Thank you so generous of you. They can find me on Instagram, okay today or okay today.com. And if

00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:46.000
you want to work directly with me, you can join the habit lab for a discount with the code mess for your

00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:47.000
listeners. Would love to see you in there. I lead a monthly group coaching session and then have my

00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:48.000
entire habits, course of how I changed my entire life in there that you can binge at your own pace,

00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:49.000
monthly themes, all this stuff. Come hang out with me. Get a motivational speaker in your pocket to

00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:50.000
keep you going strong. Elsie is in there. On occasion, she came in bit I am a member, yeah, and you

00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:51.000
were a guest once. We still have the replay of you leading a workshop in there. So lots of fun to be had

00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:52.000
in the habit lab. And then, yeah, I guess I would lead you. Leave you with this, which is, you know, I told

00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:53.000
people that I was doing this radical experiment of self improvement. I'm doing this one year radical

00:09:53.000 --> 00:09:54.000
experiment of self improvement, you know, where I improve myself, I improve myself. But I think what it

00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:55.000
actually became was a one year radical experiment where I believed in myself again. And it's amazing

00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:56.000
what can happen when you start rooting for you. So give it a try.

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Elsie

00:09:57.000 --> 00:09:58.000
Thank you for coming on. We will definitely invite you back when your book is coming out. It's going to

00:09:58.000 --> 00:09:59.000
be a book about habits. And do you think it's next year, the year? Do you know what year it's going to

00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:00.000
be?

00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:01.000
Katie

00:10:01.000 --> 00:10:02.000
I think it will hopefully be here for in time for the new year. But yeah, it's, it's habit hacks. After I created

00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:03.000
all these systems to make my life run on automatic, I started naming them and sharing them, and

00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:04.000
basically, just like I have everything from, like, a dish hack, I never think about dishes the rest of my life,

00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:05.000
like I just, it's like I have dish amnesia. They're always done to certain mindset, hacks, marriage, fight,

00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:06.000
hacks. I mean, I have hacked my whole life, because I don't want to think about these things now.

00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:07.000
Emma

00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:08.000
Katie was kind enough to let me read her book proposal, and it is the nonfiction book that I am most

00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:09.000
excited about. It is going to be incredible. Gonna be amazing. What I also really like about it just, you

00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:10.000
know, whatever is, a lot of times I feel like some of these things are built for productivity in the

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workplace, or just like, how to be like a great boss or something. And like yours is more your whole life.

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It's everything. So I'm like, I don't really want to just make money or just be a good mom. I'm doing all of

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those things all of the time, and I would like something that speaks to, you know, a more holistic view of

00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:14.000
what it's like to be a modern day woman or man, and I think your book is going to do that, and I'm really

00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:15.000
excited for it.

00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:16.000
Katie

00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:17.000
Wow, thanks, Emma. Yeah, just pick a hack, get it going, then stack a hack on top of that, and then

00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:18.000
soon your whole life will be automated. You mean the stuff you don't care about, right? And then what's

00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:19.000
fun is you start automating the stuff you do care about, like your friendships and your date nights and

00:10:19.000 --> 00:10:20.000
stuff like that. So it's been really fun to write and live and try. I'm trying it all so you don't have to.

00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:21.000
Emma

00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:22.000
I love it. Very excited. Let's hot take debate. Okay. This is from listener Amanda. She says white

00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:23.000
sneakers are legitimately the worst fashion trend ever, especially when paired with dresses, the only

00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:24.000
exceptions are Converse fans, Keds and classic white Pumas. I really like that. Amanda has so many

00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:25.000
caveats. I can tell she's one of our listeners. Yes, yes. Okay. She goes on pairing a chunky, blistering

00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:26.000
white pair of tennis shoes with a cute dress or otherwise thoughtful outfit completely distracts from the

00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:27.000
rest of the look. I just can't take it seriously. White sneakers should only ever be worn with street wear

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or sweat pants where they don't compete with the overall esthetic.

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Elsie

00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:30.000
Okay, Katie, you can go first.

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Katie

00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:32.000
I don't know if you can tell by the sound of my voice what I'm currently wearing. I am wearing the

00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:33.000
whitest of sneakers with a dress.

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Emma

00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:35.000
Okay, but are they converse fans, kids or classic white Pumas. Oh, dear, they're not.

00:10:35.000 --> 00:10:36.000
Katie

00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:37.000
Well, I don't know, I don't know. What a hot take.

00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:38.000
Emma

00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:39.000
I feel like, what Amanda's saying, though, is those super chunky I feel like, a couple years ago, it was

00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:40.000
really big. It's like, the super chunky, like, like, I saw a lot of like, Reebok, like, that kind of vibe.

00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:41.000
Elsie

00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:42.000
I know just what she's describing. And I Okay, here's my hot take. I think it's a millennial aversion. I do

00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:43.000
think that the Zoomers caveat things you have, like converse and bands, those are millennial shoes

00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:44.000
and kids, old lady shoes. So no, I mean, I think they I joke. You sometimes see a young person wearing

00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:45.000
converse, I don't know, ironically, and I'm like, How dare you? But yeah, no, I I do agree with it, but I

00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:46.000
admit that it is a millennial fashion trend thing I don't know. And I think that she does mean that the big,

00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:47.000
chunky ones that look like athletic shoes.

00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:48.000
Emma

00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:49.000
So I tried some on one time. I felt like I it made me look kind of stumpy, would be my review. And I just

00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:50.000
was like, Oh, this one just isn't for me.

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Elsie

00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:52.000
It's just like, genuinely not my style to wear athletic shoes with a dress.

00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:53.000
Emma

00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:54.000
I also feel like she kind of mentioned street wear or sweat pants. And I'm like, let me double click. I'm

00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:55.000
pretty sure that's most of what I wear. So I'm guessing I need shoes that, like, balance that out. It's for

00:10:55.000 --> 00:10:56.000
you know, so you can't do too much of one thing. I don't know, but yeah, I'm kind of with Amanda, but

00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:57.000
also I don't really care how other people dress. I'm like, yeah, wear whatever you want, what do I care.

00:10:57.000 --> 00:10:58.000
Elsie

00:10:58.000 --> 00:10:59.000
You look cute. Katie,

00:10:59.000 --> 00:11:00.000
Katie

00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:01.000
You know, Amanda.

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Emma

00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:03.000
I'm personally offended and I hate you.

00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:04.000
Katie

00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:05.000
I would love to challenge you every morning to write, I love white shoes and just see what happens.

00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:06.000
Just see what happens. No, I took a journey with white shoes. I was surprised by them, because they

00:11:06.000 --> 00:11:07.000
used to be sort of like the New Balance retired dad is wearing them. So then when young people were

00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:08.000
wearing them, I was like, Wait, what did I miss? I always assume I'm the one that's missing something

00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:09.000
when more than one person's doing something and they look cute, or their face is cute. So I can tell

00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:10.000
you're a cute person. I can tell you're on trend. Chose this, yeah. So I'm missing something. I'm always

00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:11.000
in a default to I have missed something, and then I Google it, and then I figure out what I missed. So it

00:11:11.000 --> 00:11:12.000
did take me a minute. I was like, we're wearing white sneakers. Okay? Also shout out back when you

00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:13.000
would only find retired dads wearing white sneakers if they wore white sneakers and had a white head

00:11:13.000 --> 00:11:14.000
of hair. Those are called Q tips, which I find fantastic. That's the cute I thought you were about to say, I

00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:15.000
am interested. I am down, because I just Yeah. The other journey I took was when I started wearing

00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:16.000
white sneakers, my sister would say, very lovingly, Are you a nurse? So that was a fun journey too,

00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:17.000
because then she got on board. Now she's wearing white sneakers, so it really trickled down in our

00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:18.000
family. But also, nurse is cute, like an old fashioned, like, candy striper. That's cute. It is, yeah, my real

00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:19.000
bias against it is, I'm like, I won't be able to keep them clean, and then it'll drive me kind of nuts. And so

00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:20.000
I'm just like, you need, you need something darker with a pattern or whatever. Because you're, you're

00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:21.000
just gonna freak out about this for no reason at all, other than just, it's annoying when you were like,

00:11:21.000 --> 00:11:22.000
they were so nice yesterday, and now they have a grass stain. And that's where I'm at. Yeah, that's

00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:23.000
true. It's a lot of high maintenance. You know, I have heard you guys say that you don't like to Yuck,

00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:24.000
other people's Yum, and I do agree with that. So if you like white shoes, absolutely something I've had

00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:25.000
to work on too, though, is sometimes I can be like the positivity police, and I will sometimes yum

00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:26.000
people's Yuck, too hard, and I almost make them feel like they can't have a negative opinion, because

00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:27.000
I'm, you know, just kind of like, always like, Be positive. Be positive. So Amanda, you're allowed to not

00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:28.000
like white shoes.

00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:29.000
Emma

00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:30.000
Yeah, and hard. She had a caveat. She had a whole thing. I'm like, Amanda's like, no, get out of here

00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:31.000
that outfit. Okay, I like it.

00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:32.000
Elsie

00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:33.000
I'll be on record agreeing, agreeing a little. What do you think agreeing a little.

00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:34.000
Emma

00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:35.000
Agreeing with Amanda? Yeah, I don't wear white tennis shoes.

00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:36.000
Elsie

00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:37.000
And Katie is on record as wearing white sneakers disagreeing. I

00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:38.000
Katie

00:11:38.000 --> 00:11:39.000
did know what the hot take was, and I decided to play offense.

00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:40.000
Emma

00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:41.000
Nice, yeah. Okay, and now it's time for the best part, a joke or a fact or a meditation with Nova.

00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:42.000
Elsie

00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:43.000
Hey, Nova. What do you have for us this week?

00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:44.000
Nova

00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:45.000
A joke.

00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:46.000
Elsie

00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:47.000
A joke. Okay, I'm ready.

00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:48.000
Nova

00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:49.000
Why do fish live in salt water?

00:11:49.000 --> 00:11:50.000
Elsie

00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:51.000
Why?

00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:52.000
Nova

00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:53.000
Because pepper makes them sneeze.

00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:54.000
Elsie

00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:55.000
Ooh, that's a good one. I love it.

00:11:55.000 --> 00:11:56.000
Nova

00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:57.000
Bye, bye.

00:11:57.000 --> 00:11:58.000
Elsie

00:11:58.000 --> 00:11:59.000
We would love to get more hot takes for future episodes. So email us anytime. You can also send

00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:00.000
podcasts suggestions, podcasts at a beautiful mess.com We'll be back next week.