TLFX-Games: 'Jesse v. Ole'

<v Speaker 1>Couldn't be hotter and couldn't be heavier here in the
<v Speaker 1>TLFX Games Events Center. Welcome back in. I'm Sean Mooney
<v Speaker 1>and we're bringing you the King of the Cast, a
<v Speaker 1>thirty two person tournament to determine the greatest character in
<v Speaker 1>the history of the Lapsed Fan Podcast. It's, of course,
<v Speaker 1>all in celebration of ten years of tlf and it's
<v Speaker 1>brought to you by our friends at Garage Beer Small
<v Speaker 1>Batch Light Beer. The Garage is always open, keep your
<v Speaker 1>eyes peeled and earspiel to the Lapsed Fan's podcast feed
<v Speaker 1>as well as its ex account for your chance to
<v Speaker 1>vote on who advances through the King of the Cast
<v Speaker 1>tournament in celebration of TLFX. In this week's encounter, it's
<v Speaker 1>a rather unique collision of philosophies as well as political dispositions.
<v Speaker 1>As one of the most political wrestlers to ever step
<v Speaker 1>fut in the ring, he of the Third Party Regime,
<v Speaker 1>Jesse the Body Ventura, squares off against longtime wrestling promoter
<v Speaker 1>and inwring sensation and longtime opposition to anybody who sought
<v Speaker 1>to do anything to change a single thing about how
<v Speaker 1>he wanted to present for wrestling. It's lapsed, Ollie Anderson, this.
<v Speaker 2>Is Jesse the Body Ventura. I am your third party candidate.
<v Speaker 2>I'm here to campaign for the fact that I am
<v Speaker 2>the King of the Cast, that I've done it all
<v Speaker 2>in professional wrestling, that I've done it all on the
<v Speaker 2>lapsed fan, that I've done it all in the political
<v Speaker 2>the political battlefield. I always say, don't vote for a
<v Speaker 2>Democrat or Republican. I've never voted for one in my
<v Speaker 2>life and I never will. But I'll vote for myself.
<v Speaker 2>I enjoy third parties, and you know what, the third
<v Speaker 2>Party is going to be the party of a lifetime
<v Speaker 2>and the party of the summer if you ask me,
<v Speaker 2>all right, I love I love this country, but I
<v Speaker 2>don't love it enough to live in it. I prefer
<v Speaker 2>to live in Mexico. And I'll tell you right now,
<v Speaker 2>I can be the King of the Cast whether I'm
<v Speaker 2>in Mexico eating in chiladas, not eating chocolate, whether I'm
<v Speaker 2>in Minnesota or I still live in the Governor's mansion.
<v Speaker 2>I could also be across the seas. I could be
<v Speaker 2>in Europe, I could be in Russia. It doesn't matter
<v Speaker 2>where I am. I can be King of the Cast.
<v Speaker 2>Everywhere when if you can lose, if you must, but
<v Speaker 2>always cheat. And I'll tell you one thing as I'm
<v Speaker 2>heading out there tonight, I may you know what. I
<v Speaker 2>may never come back. The chances are I may die
<v Speaker 2>in the ring, but I'll tell you right now, if
<v Speaker 2>I do die in the ring, you can put on
<v Speaker 2>my gravestone that he never owned a cell phone.
<v Speaker 1>Interesting call there from the cell phoneless Jesse Ventura, who
<v Speaker 1>remains off the grid but very much in the grid
<v Speaker 1>before us the TLFX Games tournament. His opposition now lapsed,
<v Speaker 1>Ollie Anderson.
<v Speaker 2>And all.
<v Speaker 1>It's kind of interesting. I'm here sit at the house,
<v Speaker 1>just came off a shift at the sawmill. Forty good
<v Speaker 1>year lumber prices are up timber. We've got a oriented
<v Speaker 1>strand board that seems to be doing pretty well this season.
<v Speaker 1>But I couldn't help but notice now, while this uh,
<v Speaker 1>this yellow tailed Jesse Ventura is running his mouth, he
<v Speaker 1>doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground,
<v Speaker 1>and he doesn't know to mention me. And all the
<v Speaker 1>various factors that he wanted to cite is relevant to
<v Speaker 1>how he's gonna win this tournament. Now, I got a problem.
<v Speaker 1>Those people who don't know their ass from a hole
<v Speaker 1>in the ground. I could give a fuck. I think
<v Speaker 1>he's the shits. I think Jesse Ventura is not invited
<v Speaker 1>to the debates because he's the shits, not because he's
<v Speaker 1>too controversial, not because he knows the lies the government
<v Speaker 1>is telling us. Look, I sniffed out lies from the
<v Speaker 1>best Jimmy Barnett dickhead asshole faith and he thinks that
<v Speaker 1>he's gonna bring his dog and pony show, his third
<v Speaker 1>party bullshit past the threshold of all the Anderson's front door.
<v Speaker 1>I've put down worse than you. I've convinced and lulled
<v Speaker 1>into a sentence a false security much better than your
<v Speaker 1>Jesseventor and god be MTLFX games. I'm gonna fuck you
<v Speaker 1>before you got a chance to fuck me. And I'm
<v Speaker 1>gonna go all the way in this thing, and when
<v Speaker 1>it's over, I'm gonna look around say, don't one knows
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck they're talking about doing that. Voting in
<v Speaker 1>the TLFX Games is expected to commence on Monday, August nineteenth.
<v Speaker 1>Keep it locked to the Lapsed Fan's x account at
<v Speaker 1>the Lapsed Fan for your opportunity to vote on who
<v Speaker 1>advances to the King of the Cast,