Overcoming Our Limitations | ‘Golden Hour’

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour. We came back. I hope you did.

00:00:13
Speaker 2: Hi, Kathy, how are you doing, Susan? Listen?

00:00:17
Speaker 3: I don't know what to say. If people have not listened to our episode on Wednesday, they missed an amazing episode. They're all amazing episodes, but you really need to check this one out.

00:00:28
Speaker 1: We had surgery toge.

00:00:31
Speaker 2: That's right.

00:00:32
Speaker 3: We had former Bachelorette Rachel Rekia on with us, and it was so much fun. We learned so much about her. We think we've got some surgeries coming up. I mean, I don't know this girl. Let's talk about this, going back to work, doesn't want a date, and she's gorgeous. How beautiful she is and has no interest in dating and has been really sick with a kidney infection. How can you be that beautiful when you're that.

00:01:02
Speaker 1: Well. She's getting better, she was in the hospital for nine days.

00:01:05
Speaker 3: I'm sure, Susan, if I were getting better and been in the hospital for nine days, trust me, I would not look like that.

00:01:11
Speaker 2: I mean she is.

00:01:13
Speaker 3: I love her energy. She's energetic, she's smart, she knows what she wants.

00:01:19
Speaker 1: She's going to teach us how to fly.

00:01:21
Speaker 3: And that's right, Bachelor Nation. She is going to teach us how to fly, and then Susan and I are going to jump in tandem out of an airplane.

00:01:30
Speaker 2: It's going to happen.

00:01:31
Speaker 1: Maybe do you love adventures? All right, let's do the topic of the day.

00:01:38
Speaker 2: Well wait, aren't we going to answer some fan questions? Oh?

00:01:42
Speaker 3: Yes, we could do that too, because you know, if people do have questions, and we hope you don't forget. All you have to do if you have a question for Susan and May is send them in. And the way you send them in is go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour.

00:02:00
Speaker 1: Okay, Kathy, but before we get into those questions, now, you're going to make me do it. Today's question day, All right, we can all right here.

00:02:09
Speaker 3: It is if you want to one day get married, should you always be dating with the intention of getting married?

00:02:19
Speaker 2: Oh? Can I answer that?

00:02:21
Speaker 1: Sure?

00:02:22
Speaker 3: Absolutely not, because you learn a lot about every person you meet, and you don't want to marry every person you meet. That's how you find the right one. You know, you kiss a lot of frogs to find them.

00:02:37
Speaker 1: Scary if that's your intention, Like, people freak out you know what I mean. Sometimes men don't even have a thought about getting married, but they fall so deeply in love and you're the one and he proposes great. But if you set out with that intention, I know.

00:02:51
Speaker 2: You know, you bring up you bring up a good point, Susan.

00:02:54
Speaker 3: I think if you're dating, if one is dating, each guy you meet is the one? Is this the one? You may not be a complete person yourself. You may need to do some work on yourself that I hadn't thought about that. But that's a really good point.

00:03:10
Speaker 1: I mean I would be bummed out all the time.

00:03:13
Speaker 2: Do you wait? Do you do it now? When you seriously?

00:03:15
Speaker 3: When you did a guy, do you think, oh, it's this guy I want to marry. I don't want to get a start to get married, but I don't. I'm just looking to have fun and adventure. That's what everyone with.

00:03:24
Speaker 1: Somebody i'd like to hang out with for a while, that's you know.

00:03:29
Speaker 2: But if you like the guy, then do you start thinking to.

00:03:31
Speaker 1: Know I'm thinking about getting married?

00:03:34
Speaker 2: I mean, will Okay, I'm putting you on the spot. Would you get married again?

00:03:38
Speaker 3: No?

00:03:39
Speaker 2: Is that I don't know? Or never?

00:03:41
Speaker 1: I'd never say never because I changed my mind too often. But I don't need to get married, but I would like to have a partner, my person in life. Yeah.

00:03:52
Speaker 3: I agree with that. I just it concerns me. I've actually known women who break up with guys because they'll say things like he's not marriage material yeah, and I'm like.

00:04:02
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and they were having such a great time, yeah, good relationship, Like what yeah?

00:04:09
Speaker 2: Why?

00:04:09
Speaker 3: I don't get it now, I don't get it. But we're not getting married tomorrow, so I guess we don't have to worry about it.

00:04:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're getting boobs done anyhow.

00:04:18
Speaker 2: And jumping on an airplanes.

00:04:20
Speaker 1: Okay, here's our first one.

00:04:21
Speaker 2: You ready, Kathy, I'm ready.

00:04:23
Speaker 1: Hi, Susan and Kathy. My name is Preston. I'm twenty five years old and I've recently moved to New York City for work. I've never been in a relationship before, but I'm ready to start dating. Unfortunately, dating has always been difficult for me. The people I'm interested in aren't interested in me, and the people who are interested in me i'm not interested in. I've been on dating apps before and i'm on them again now, but I'm not conventionally attracted. Wait a minute, but I'm not conventionally attractive, so dating apps don't really work for me. I don't get very many matches, which leads to even fewer dates. All this rejection really gets me down sometimes. It makes me feel terrible about myself and my appearance. I thought moving to a big city like New York would give me more opportunities, but I've just been met with more of the same rejection as I've had in the past. How do you, ladies, deal with rejection? How do you not let it affect your confidence or your self worth? Any words of encouragement would also be greatly appreciated. I love you, ladies and the podcast. I'm about to go.

00:05:41
Speaker 3: Okay, wait, wait, Preston. First, let me say to you, you're probably going about this the wrong way, and by that I mean you should be doing things that you like in life and not seeking to far the one. I think you're probably being too hard on yourself date. Yeah, but here's the thing. First of all, remember Rachel when we were talking to her last episode last week, she was saying she doesn't go on the dating apps. I Preston, maybe dating apps aren't for you. I don't care if you're conventionally handsome or not. If people don't look at your personality, and the way they're going to find your personality is not on a dating app, because you're right. Dating apps are traditionally, historically and will be in the future based on your looks At first.

00:06:37
Speaker 1: It's a sweet that's right. So it's about a picture, right. People don't even take good pictures.

00:06:43
Speaker 3: So he's more than a picture, right, So Preston, you need to get out and join some clubs and get people to know what kind of person you are. I don't think you have a lot of self confidence. Your question was how do we deal with rejection. I do with rejection by saying, and in all honesty, I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

00:07:04
Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I'm not. And I move on.

00:07:09
Speaker 3: And I don't lit affect myself confidence because I don't judge myself by what a man thinks of me.

00:07:16
Speaker 2: I don't what about you so nice?

00:07:18
Speaker 1: Well, I want you to know that you would think a big city would have a lot more people. I think it's even harder in a big city. There's so many people, and they're involved in their own worlds. They don't you're better off in the suburbs, but they're working in the city. But like Kathy said, just be you. It's your personality. I'm sure you have a lot of good in you and you'd be a great man to date, but you maybe don't go on the dating sites or there are some that won't use pictures. It's more about personality. True, they match you that right. You don't get to preview because when I preview, I would I did the same damn thing. We all know he was too short or he.

00:08:03
Speaker 3: Was what if I said to you, I always say to you, I'm not going back on dating apps because of my age. Ments wipe me bye. Because of my age where I can outrun. I'm as fit as any six year old you want to pick out. But that's just that's life precedence. So get yourself out there, do some activities, and you know what, you're a great guy. I've never met you, but believe you're a great guy. Take it till you make it. Just don't let don't let the you know those people get you down. Believe in yourself. Act like you believe in yourself, and you know what, You're gonna wake up and say, I'm having a good day.

00:08:38
Speaker 1: So don't feel terrible about yourself. You're worth more than that. You got to love yourself, yes, feel your confidence. Whether it's going to the gym that makes you feel good or whatever it is. Just do you for a minute and.

00:08:51
Speaker 3: Do something that makes you feel good. Do something that makes you feel good and see what comes your way. Get get to the gym, Join a boxing club, you know, join a wine tasting club, join a walking club, do something because you'll meet people that have similar interests.

00:09:05
Speaker 1: And then we'll Gathy and I are in New York. We'll look you up and we'll take you out on the town. You'll feel great.

00:09:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, he can jump out of the airplane with us. All right, Well, good luck yesterday, and thank you for having me. Okay, here's the next one. Hi, Kathy and Susan. I've been a fan since day one. Well, thank you. That's great news. I need advice regarding my best friend. We have been bff since we were eight years old and are now in our forties. We were very president in each other's lives until about six years ago when she moved out of state with her military boyfriend. We still talk almost every day, and we used to see each other multiple times a year until recently. These last two years, I was a caretaker for a family member and couldn't travel. Her relationship with the military man has always been toxic, and I've never really liked him and voiced my opinion, but am supportive. Nonetheless, they constantly break up and he'll leave their house and go stay with friends on base or something, leaving her there alone no contact whatsoever, sometimes for weeks at a time. Every time it happens, she is devastated and heartbroken, but never fed up enough to leave him. This most recent breakup, however, has me alarmed. She's trying to cope by drinking every night alone all day on the weekends. I've told her that I'm worried and have pleaded with her to come here. They don't have any children and she doesn't have family to turn to, but my husband said she could stay with us as long as she needed or wanted.

00:10:51
Speaker 2: She won't come.

00:10:53
Speaker 3: She said she's fine, just heartbroken and quote wants him to come home, unquote reached out to any of her friends out there because they're all military wives, and she's mentioned before that they isolate her when she's not with him. This has been going on for over a month now, and I'm just beside myself. I don't have any available vacation time from work and cannot afford to fly out for a weekend to see her, and she won't come here.

00:11:20
Speaker 2: What do I do?

00:11:22
Speaker 3: Sorry, this is so long, but I've heard you ask for more details with previous questions, so I tried to give you as much as I could. Thank you for reading this and for any advice you may have.

00:11:33
Speaker 1: Wow, and thank you for being so detailed. And you answered one of my questions because the first thought I had was get on out there, go be with her, look her into your eyes, and you're worth more than this, and now she's drinking that were me? What would you do? Thank you let me go through this seriously.

00:11:56
Speaker 3: Well, I would be at your sidon in two seconds. I'd take a loan out and I'd be there for you. But clearly we're you know, this is a different situation and they can't afford it. Here's here's the thing that she's not going to want to hear in life, and we have to accept it. Yes, I would be there for you, Susan, and I would talk to you and let you cry on my shoulder. And and do everything good. But ultimately, I can't legislate what you do with your life. All I can do is be there and be supportive. And this this person who wrote this question. Really all you can do is be there for her. She may drink herself into oblivion for a life.

00:12:39
Speaker 1: She's going to break down one day and yes, right be able to pick up the pieces you.

00:12:44
Speaker 2: Or maybe not.

00:12:45
Speaker 3: But the point is you you can make suggestions, you know, tell her to get into a support group, tell her to There's all kinds of things she could do. But the point is you can't make her take a step to leave him. It's un fortunate she doesn't have children. You know, my husband was in the military, and I have to tell you myusband was an officer in the Navy, and that officer's wise club man. It's a clicky deal, and everybody knows what you're doing, and so everyone knows what everyone else is doing. So you know, it's probably a struggle for her to confide in them because it truly will be all over the base.

00:13:26
Speaker 1: So I think what you do, hopefully she's really down and out and she's going to see what she's doing to herself by all this drinking and feeling sorry for herself and wake up one day and say, you know what you You.

00:13:40
Speaker 3: Just said it, Susan, you just said it. She has to wake up and.

00:13:44
Speaker 1: She says she can't do it, and I would be broken hearted as well. However, you can go and put one of those what is that fundraiser thing you put out online?

00:13:55
Speaker 2: Go fund me?

00:13:56
Speaker 1: Go fund me? How much is the flight? I could give it to you. I'm serious there, It's talk some sense in the dis girl. Yeah, but I feel you though. I have a lot of empathy, and that makes me sad because you're watching your best friend destroy herself right now.

00:14:11
Speaker 3: I think that she says she just wants to come home. She's probably lacking in self esteem.

00:14:15
Speaker 2: Here we go.

00:14:16
Speaker 3: You know that is an issue, Susan. People need to think more of themselves. I think that's an overriding theme in many of the questions.

00:14:27
Speaker 1: Don't you Definitely is definitely took me a long time to believe in myself, so.

00:14:32
Speaker 2: I know I do think it's part of its age.

00:14:35
Speaker 1: We wish you all the very best and stay there. Be there for when you say, don't.

00:14:40
Speaker 3: Let that friendship go, be there for her, Be there for her. She needs you, Okay, and thank you for listening to the podcast. Yes, hi, Kathy and Susan. I'm a mom of two.

00:14:51
Speaker 1: My oldest is my daughter, who is four years old, and my son is two years old. I grew up with an older brother who was essentially my parent's favorite. This put a huge stream on my relationship with my parents, especially my mother. Their favoritism was so obvious. Both my brother and my grandma on my dad's side took notice. My mom loved being a boy mom and always showed much more interest in my brother's activities, etc. Than she did mine. Now that I'm a mother, though I've worked through a lot of this in therapy, especially when my husband and I began talking about the potential of having kids, I'm still nervous about doing the same thing to my kids. Do you have any tips on how to monitor my behavior or ways in which I can make my kids feel equally as love. My husband and I have built a great line of communication in general, and when it comes to keeping an eye out on things like how we parent. He doesn't have a great relationship with his parents either, But I want to also be able to be a mindful parent you know what, My very first thought is, you're on a win win because you're aware everything that you just shared with us tells me you're not going to make that mistake. You love them both equally. I had days where I like this one better than that one because this one was being a pain in the butt. But yeah, but I agree.

00:16:23
Speaker 3: I think you're right on the money. Uh, the fact that she's aware of it. In fact, I struggle with people, Susan. My parents were divorced, and when I heard people say, you know, I just don't know how to be a good parent because I didn't have a good role model, I just want to jump down their throats. I came from a very abusive family a mother I was like out of mommy dearest, I mean really an abusive mother. And I really tried to be a good mom and I wasn't perfect, so I know, but I was aware. But I was aware of the horrible up bringing in the mistakes that my mom my mother made, so you know, I didn't do those with my kids. So I think you're right. I think the fact that she is aware of it is when.

00:17:10
Speaker 1: Her and her husband communicate real well, like you won't do it and I pray that you feel more confident in yourself. You're going to have days that one's better than the other because they get under your skin.

00:17:22
Speaker 2: I will say something I did with your children.

00:17:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love them, but one of the things I did to make my she says, how do I uh? Do I have any tips on how to monitor my behavior or ways in which I can make my field kids equally loved, equally as loved.

00:17:36
Speaker 2: You know what I used to do with my kids.

00:17:39
Speaker 3: I would take them on special trips, just one, just one of the three, and take them like my would take my daughter to see the Nutcracker or a Christmas or and then out for lunch or whatever. I would do things, take my son to sporting events, you know, and my grandchildren.

00:17:56
Speaker 2: Yes, and now we do it with them.

00:17:58
Speaker 3: My kids would say I know, oh I'm your favorite, and I would smile and I would say how do you know that?

00:18:04
Speaker 2: And every one of them would say that I know.

00:18:06
Speaker 3: And you know what, That made me feel successful because I each one of them first. So yes, yeah, to take each one, make each one. You don't have to do everything as a family. That's my advice. To take each one and do something special with that child your special time exactly. Thank you, thanks for sharing.

00:18:23
Speaker 1: That with us. But I feel like you have this I really.

00:18:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I agree. All right, here's our next question. Hello ladies, I love your podcast and listen faithfully to each one. You are so wise and also charming. I think that was directed of me, Susan, I are both so wo oh, that's what it says. Sorry, you are both so wise and also charming. I am thirty eight and have a brother and two sisters, all of whom are married with families of their own. In the last three years, my youngest sister and her husband have become very possessive of my parents' time and possessions. They have a young child who spends several days a week at my parents home while my sister and her husband are working. They have even gone so far as to have my mom sign a contract for this. It has made it difficult to ask for help when I or one of my other siblings have needed it. They also push my parents regularly to put their land and belongings into a trust and mention that they could be on the trust with them. This has caused a large gap to form and our once very close family now rarely speaks. We all used to get together every Sunday for dinner, and now two of my sisters rarely come around. I worry about my parents and the stress this is all causing them, and I miss the family dynamic we once had. I want us all to be close again, but is that possible when the gap has already formed. Thank you for reading. I wish you both all the best.

00:19:56
Speaker 1: Oh boy, wow, I know.

00:20:00
Speaker 2: I mean I'm going through it right now, so I.

00:20:03
Speaker 1: Know people that share with me what they're going through. Unfortunately, I don't have good news because they don't talk. Their sisters don't talk, and the parents did pass and the youngest got everything. They went to court over it for several years.

00:20:19
Speaker 2: Money breaks up families.

00:20:21
Speaker 1: Painful.

00:20:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, but here's the thing.

00:20:24
Speaker 1: Have a conversation with your parents or that's going to put more stress.

00:20:27
Speaker 2: See here's the thing.

00:20:29
Speaker 3: The youngest sister, they, it appears, are the only ones who have a child.

00:20:35
Speaker 2: She doesn't.

00:20:36
Speaker 3: This person doesn't say it, but I think they're obsessing over the grandchild in a good way, because we all love our grandchildren. The fact that they've asked their parents to sign a contract to take care of the child that's a little over the top.

00:20:55
Speaker 1: So that is over the top, and that's very controlling on that younger sisters.

00:21:00
Speaker 4: That's a conversation with your sister's I mean, you could try it, and that's what's going to be my advice. Talk to your parents if they're signing contracts. I don't know how old.

00:21:10
Speaker 3: You guys, Well you're thirty eight, So it says it's interesting this person says it's made it difficult to ask for help when I or one of my other siblings I have needed it. I'm going to turn the tables here. I'd be more concerned about your parents, who seem to be being strangulated, if you will.

00:21:31
Speaker 1: By I don't know how old they are, if they're not thinking clearly or something. But if that's the case, then your younger sisters taken advantage of this situation.

00:21:40
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. I'd be worried more about your parents and not the help you need a thirty eight year old. I'm more concerned about your parents. So I think you can talk to your sister. I think you should talk to your sister. I think you can bring it up to your parents. But you know, I'm going through it right now I come from I told you says in a large family, there or seven of us. My stepsister passed away, so there's six of us and I and my brother are responsible for the estate because my mom also passed away last year.

00:22:11
Speaker 2: And let me tell you.

00:22:13
Speaker 3: It is money is it's horrible. It's just there's hateful things have been said. And I think you got to try to be Switzerland. You know, you got to try to find the soft spots. Yeah, if you want to regain a relationship. But again, I think this is more dealing with your siblings. Maybe you could have, you know, a summit with your not your parents, but the kids, the siblings and say, you know, I want to talk to you and again.

00:22:47
Speaker 1: Get all the siblings together.

00:22:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know, how how often do I say you cannot change anyone else's behavior, only yourself.

00:22:57
Speaker 1: So it may be water can't make them drink, that's right, So I think you can you a lot of luck.

00:23:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard.

00:23:05
Speaker 3: Families are tough, and and you know, you don't know why the parents are taking care of the grandkids all the time. But hopefully, hopefully you guys can rebuild a relationship.

00:23:15
Speaker 1: It is tough once you get too out of it. Like the longer it goes, like you said, your other sisters don't even come now, the more space you put between you, the worse it's going to be.

00:23:27
Speaker 3: You're right, Just try, You're right, Susan. We got to move on because it is now time for my favorite Now in our podcast for all of you listening, Susan is learning the rules of the game called moral quandary and I don't like it. And here's the problem. We're in school and the teacher asks Susan to say what the other person would think, but Susan wants to say what Susan thinks. So we're going to give it a shot today and see how going to try.

00:24:10
Speaker 1: Your friend is unemployed and really wants a job at your company, but you know they're not qualified. Do you recommend them anyway or tell them the truth about their chances?

00:24:25
Speaker 2: What do you think I would do?

00:24:27
Speaker 1: Tell them the truth about their chances?

00:24:30
Speaker 3: You're right, but I would do it very kindly. This actually has happened to me. It's actually happened to me, and I've had to say, you know you light it. You don't say, are you kidding me? You want to commiss an accountant and you can't add two plus two. I mean, I don't do that, but I will just I will. I will soften it by saying, you know that it's a tough market out there. I think you need to put your application in several places. I can't promise anything.

00:24:57
Speaker 1: That's what I would say, and I think that's with you. I don't think that you're as qualified as you should be, but i'll you.

00:25:05
Speaker 2: Know, so you would put the person up, huh?

00:25:08
Speaker 1: I would tell them that I don't think their chances are very good, but I'll share and maybe tell the boss.

00:25:14
Speaker 3: You would recommend they could be taught. Oh no, no, I wouldn't you know? You need to protect your own job. And if you recommend someone for a job who doesn't have the skill set, what your boss going to think of you?

00:25:31
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, and that's a tough one. Wait. I was about to tell the person it's not a person. This is the gate.

00:25:39
Speaker 3: I'm telling you, folks, Susan really struggles with moral and by the way, you did again what you would do? You didn't let me say, just saying you did.

00:25:48
Speaker 1: I said what you were going to say.

00:25:50
Speaker 2: And then when I tried to say what you would in turn?

00:25:53
Speaker 1: All right, I got it half right again?

00:25:56
Speaker 3: Move on, there we go. Your rich friend is yeah, hello, Susan. Your rich friend that is a really bad tipper. That's not you, okay, hold on. Your rich friend that is a really bad tipper, puts their card down for a group dinner that you'll all venmo them for. While they're in the bathroom, the waitress returns with the card and receipts. Do you sign for them and leave an appropriate tip? Or do you wait for them.

00:26:28
Speaker 2: To come back and say something? What do you do?

00:26:33
Speaker 1: Wait a minute? They all put their cards in and they put the tip on it already that you have to put the tip on it when you sign it, right the person?

00:26:45
Speaker 3: The person puts their card down, and then so you would put your card down, and we're with eight other bacheloretps and then you you got to put the tip down on the deal, right, So then you would say you all owe me this much? Question is do you sign for them because the person's in the bathroom and leave the appropriate tip there?

00:27:08
Speaker 1: She goes, I s I caught myself.

00:27:10
Speaker 3: Good dear, you're learning. Do you sign for them and leave an appropriate tip? Or do you wait for them to come back and say something. I'm telling you you would never sign for them. You I know what you would do. You'd reach in your purse, you'd get out extra money and you see how folks, I know, I think.

00:27:27
Speaker 1: You would too. Or you would look and say.

00:27:31
Speaker 2: Susan, I've done it.

00:27:32
Speaker 3: You know what I do again, I don't try to make people feel badly. You know what I've done. I'll look at what the bill is and then whenever it gets up. I know, when everyone gets up and leaves, I'll say, oh, I forgot something, and I'll go back and hand the guy twenty or thirty bucks and say you did a great job. There's no point in embarrassing anybody else. You're not going to change those people. But who are cheap tippers? But I'm going to make sure my servers well taken care of. But you missed the little part of me. Because I have a friend that does this, and I call her on it. I do say no, no, no, no, I won't say her name. That's not enough. You need to tip her properly. We're all so you do call them out, Yes, I do, so. I think I think we've solved the dilemma of the bad tipper. Susan will tell the person they're a bad tipper. Kathy will secretly go back in and hand the guy twenty bucks. All right, here's the key.

00:28:30
Speaker 2: Here we go.

00:28:30
Speaker 1: Go, During a fit of really bad anxiety, you snoop through your partner's phone. As you start to calm down, you realize this is wrong and a huge breach of their privacy, and you put their phone down. Do you tell them what you did or keep it to yourself?

00:28:47
Speaker 2: What would I do?

00:28:49
Speaker 1: Keep it to yourself? Absolutely? Yeah, you would keep it yourself too. I'm not going to bury myself. That's a no brainer.

00:28:57
Speaker 2: Move on, yeah, move on, we're not even going to all right, here you go.

00:29:00
Speaker 3: You're at a close friend's wedding and see a guest wearing a completely white gown. Your close friend is the bride, and you can see she's visibly upset. Her bridal party and mother are busy comforted in her. Do you confront the guests, ruin the guest dress or leave it alone? How do you ruin the guest dress?

00:29:24
Speaker 1: Spill your red wine on it? Oh?

00:29:27
Speaker 2: Gotcha? What would you do? I'm going to tell you what you at?

00:29:32
Speaker 3: I don't think you would say anything, And I'll tell you why you wouldn't, because what can she do about it. She can't go and change one of us, do That's what I'm saying. You can't change unless she's got another dress. However, I will tell you. Do you remember at Teresa's was it her final rose? Do you remember I bought this?

00:29:54
Speaker 1: It was dress.

00:29:57
Speaker 2: I don't know we I didn't know she had it.

00:30:01
Speaker 3: I know I had a white dress, and sort of at the last thing, I thought, you know, I probably shouldn't do this because theoretically Teresa's going to get engaged, you know, at the end of the show, I shouldn't wear a white dress, and so I didn't wear it. And I was sitting next to you, Susan when she came out. Do you remember me killing it?

00:30:20
Speaker 1: Oh?

00:30:21
Speaker 2: My god, how embarrassing with that event.

00:30:23
Speaker 3: So no, folks, if you're out there listening, there's a lot of colors in the rainbow.

00:30:27
Speaker 2: Pick one. Don't wear white, whit wedding. Don't wear white to a wedding.

00:30:31
Speaker 1: Okay, do we have time for one more at all?

00:30:33
Speaker 3: Oh?

00:30:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, go sure, we do.

00:30:34
Speaker 1: Okay. After working really hard to repair her relationship with men. Your best friend goes back to the worst ex she's ever dated. You've tried tiresly to remind her how badly he treated her, but she's convinced he's changed. Do you distance yourself, let it go and wait for the next blow up, or keep trying to get her to see the problem with the situation? What wid Kathy?

00:31:02
Speaker 2: Do you go? Girlfriend?

00:31:05
Speaker 1: Kathy would never give up. Ever, she would continue writing me.

00:31:11
Speaker 2: If it was you, you're right, if you're you're you're right.

00:31:16
Speaker 1: I best friend.

00:31:17
Speaker 3: I mean that's yeah, best friend. I don't want to see you suffer, Susan. I don't want to see my friend suffer. I would. I gotta be honest with you. I have a friend right now, and then we'll get to you. Literally, she is dating I won't say her name because she listens, but you've met her and I love her to pieces. She is dating a narcissist. They broke up. I think this is the sixth one, six sixth time. I think she's going to get clean now. I said to her, it's like you're like an addict the drug. He's a drug too, and she kind of knows it. But I will tell you I care about her, and so I still talk to her. I still try to get her to see the the what would you do?

00:32:02
Speaker 1: I would do exactly the same thing. Yeah, you have to, although when you get to the point where you're telling me, please stop, Susan I'm in love with him, then I have to. I'm your best friend. I don't have to agree with you to accept absolutely, and I'm learning that with you. When you say, Kathy, I hear you, but I want a B or C even I don't like a B and C, even if I have to do it the hard way and learn my lesson. Yeah, just be there.

00:32:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay. Absolutely. Support is big. Is a big thing.

00:32:32
Speaker 1: It is, and that's best friends, which.

00:32:34
Speaker 3: We are, Kat. I know, but you know what the thought of us having a breakup. We got to meet the guy first.

00:32:43
Speaker 1: What do you mean a breakup? I'm going back to this, back to the thing I thought you meant us breaking up.

00:32:48
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, no going anywhere.

00:32:51
Speaker 3: I'll just holler no. I'm saying, like you and I going back. I mean, we have this conversation before you said that you would never go back to an next. Remember we asked Rachel about that too.

00:33:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, have you changed.

00:33:07
Speaker 2: Would you go give a second chance? Really?

00:33:09
Speaker 1: Because I get over people like my heart heels and always care and it might be their friend. I'm always their friend, but yeah, I wouldn't want to relive the same thing.

00:33:23
Speaker 3: I'm going to check with you about a month and we ask you that question again.

00:33:26
Speaker 1: Okay, that does it for this episode of beslor Happy Hour, this Golden Hour. We really enjoyed this. I hope you guys.

00:33:36
Speaker 2: Did as well. Yeah, thanks for joining us.

00:33:39
Speaker 3: Please be sure to submit your questions to us at bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. We really truly enjoy connecting with all of you. We love listening to your comments and your questions. We clearly love giving advice, and I hope, we hope that you love hearing little tidbits about our life because you know what, many of these questions, right, Susan, We've lived these that's you know, we have lived these situations, and so it's sort of like we live in our own lives when we read the questions and exactly so you know, we're hoping that we give you some comfort, some humor, So keep those questions coming.

00:34:20
Speaker 1: Definitely laugh with us, because that's what life's about us and mile is worth a million million.

00:34:26
Speaker 3: You know, people ask us that all the time we wake up, even if we wake up on the wrong side of the bed, we wake up grateful and just force ourselves to turn around and get up on the right side.

00:34:37
Speaker 1: So just don't stop listening to Bats half hours Golden Hour. You can listen on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. Thanks again for joining us, See you next time.