Golden Monogamy | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody. We're here to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Kathy and I are so excited to join you again. How excited are we to be back together? I know, right, I mean, we've had busy weeks going on here right, spring is sprung.

00:00:23
Speaker 2: I'm out sweating walking. What have you been up to?

00:00:26
Speaker 1: Breaking my arm? I mean my wrist surgeon.

00:00:30
Speaker 2: I love it. Susan says, broke my arm. I keep saying, you broke your wrist.

00:00:34
Speaker 1: You still attached to my arm. It's part of my arm.

00:00:38
Speaker 2: That is one way to look at it. All right, we are going We're going to talk about Susan's wrist, my dating life, and we're also going to answer more of your fan questions. Please, y'all make sure you're submitting to us. We love reading them, we love answering them. It's super You know what to do. Go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away comments, questions. Send it on to us, everything.

00:01:05
Speaker 1: Because we want to know all of it. You know what? You can also dm us on Instagram at batslor Happy Hour.

00:01:12
Speaker 2: You know what, Susan, we love. We just got to say this one more time. We love getting your updates. So if we've answered one of your questions, please please write us an update and tell us how things are going for you, because we really want.

00:01:26
Speaker 1: To whether you took our advice or not and you did the opposite of what we said, but we want to know the outcome.

00:01:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, we do. That's what all right, that's what it's all about. Okay, today we're going to get into the episode, but first, as always, we're going to start with the titillating question of the day. Here we go. You ready, what does monogamy mean when dating in your senior years? What off your long distance? Is it necessary to be monogamous? And what does that look like? Is it just so I need a drum roll here? What do you think?

00:02:02
Speaker 1: Who?

00:02:03
Speaker 2: So?

00:02:04
Speaker 1: Monogamy is monogamy? It meant the same thing when I was twenty thirty, forty fifty and sixty.

00:02:12
Speaker 2: And what does it mean to you? Well, but you're just you and him? What does it mean you're just dating just having sex? Define it for me. Get out your Webster's dictionary.

00:02:22
Speaker 1: Well, see, for me, it's always a relationship with one person.

00:02:29
Speaker 2: I'm not arguing with you.

00:02:30
Speaker 1: I just included when you're in a relationship. I mean, there's there's a friend with benefits. Is that monogamous? Well, I don't know, because there's no means when there's just a friend with benefits.

00:02:43
Speaker 2: No, I mean way, I can honestly tell you. And I'm not asking you because but I'm just telling you I've never had a friend with benefits because to me, sex is more than just hey, you know, let's have sex tonight and get up and have and it's or bagels in the morning.

00:03:01
Speaker 1: I mean, that's just sex.

00:03:03
Speaker 2: That's just sex.

00:03:04
Speaker 1: Some people choose to and that's that.

00:03:06
Speaker 2: I don't judge them.

00:03:07
Speaker 1: And then it says, what if you're long distance? So when I heard you say that that means sex, No, the first thing that came to mind is trust issues.

00:03:18
Speaker 2: Okay, let's go down that road. Let's go down that road. Okay, So dating long distance, you know, I'm in a position my kids are grown. I've always said, if I meet the right guy, I'm I'm I'm leaving. I'm going to be with that guy, and I'm going to travel, you know, back to see my grandkids and my children. Having said that, I if I have trust issues, I'm not going to be with that.

00:03:46
Speaker 1: Never work it could never work right.

00:03:49
Speaker 2: I mean, but monogamy to me is I don't care what age I agree with? These isn't I don't care what age it is. Monogamy means one man one woman, or two men and two women, whatever. It is two people together and not with other uh, not with other other people. However, I could be dating a guy, now, could I have I'm asking you, could I have? I have some male friends, could I could I still go out with.

00:04:24
Speaker 1: Them on a date or just go for dinner, hang out friends, that's friends. But would you be okay if he had female friends and went out?

00:04:36
Speaker 2: I hate you, honestly. I think the thing is it would depend on the guy's conversation. It's a conversation. I know me, I know me. I have male friends, but I'm not sleeping with them. You know, they're friends. We got to dinner, I go to his house.

00:04:57
Speaker 1: That's not a date.

00:04:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I have to say, I'd have to really be so comfortable with that guy that I'm with in that monogamous relationship that every minute he's thinking about me not I mean.

00:05:16
Speaker 1: How exactly you have to have the trust and understand?

00:05:19
Speaker 2: Now, are you a trusting person? Because I am too much. So do you think long distance then is hard?

00:05:28
Speaker 1: I think it could be because you're going to want to or me, I would want to be with that person more if he lived four miles away or twenty five miles away, rather than have to take a flight. When I see long distance, to me, you got to fly somewhere to see them. But if that were the case, how exciting because you're looking forward to it. Who were we interviewing? Was it Ben? Who were we talking to? And they said they set it up before they left each other? Yeah it was Ben, Ben? Yeah, yes, and they had that date. You know it's coming, let's go home, let's do what we need to do, and you look forward to that day that. I think that can work.

00:06:10
Speaker 2: So so what would you say to a man just just for convenience? We're gonna I'm going to talk heterosexual relationships, but this applies to all for as far as I'm concerned. If if you were dating a guy long distance, and he, you know, he said to you, look, you're my girl, but you know I I sleep with other women, but it's just sex, would you ever be okay with that?

00:06:39
Speaker 1: No? I couldn't.

00:06:41
Speaker 2: I couldn't do it.

00:06:41
Speaker 1: Either I couldn't do it because to me, it's not just sex. That's intimacy.

00:06:48
Speaker 2: Well, there's several forms of intimacy, I think, and sex is one formation.

00:06:54
Speaker 1: Sex is just sex, I mean it is, well it's sex. Well that's the think. What if the guy said to you and you know, look, it's justous.

00:07:06
Speaker 2: No, that's what I'm saying. Could you I can't, but I could imagine a man saying, oh, no, monogamy to me means I love you. You're the woman I care for. Sex is just you know, bodily function. I'm just really I couldn't do it, but I think there are men out there that I think that's okay.

00:07:27
Speaker 1: He won't be my guy. My guy is the question. We are seniors.

00:07:35
Speaker 2: No, it doesn't. To me, it would not matter.

00:07:38
Speaker 1: But then it says, is it necessary to be monogamous? And what does that look like? Is it to me?

00:07:45
Speaker 2: To me, it's necessary, and it's it's never just sex, And you know when when you think about it, I don't know women, so I've been told women attach a lot more meaning to sex that man.

00:08:03
Speaker 1: I think sex is sex, that's it.

00:08:07
Speaker 2: Oh you think, really, if a man loves you, you don't think there's anything beyond just physical release. I don't believe that.

00:08:14
Speaker 1: I mean, he could be more into it because he loves you. But sex is sex.

00:08:20
Speaker 2: Oh wow, for the man. Oh I don't believe that.

00:08:25
Speaker 1: Okay, so so different.

00:08:30
Speaker 2: Hold on, if you believe sex is just sex, no you.

00:08:34
Speaker 1: I didn't say that was for a man.

00:08:36
Speaker 2: I said for a man. If you're saying that, then you're buying into Uh, it's just sex. I love you. You know you're dating Joe. I'm making a name up, Joe. I love you, Susan. You're the woman of my dreams.

00:08:52
Speaker 1: But he's had sex with Kathy three days ago and that.

00:08:55
Speaker 2: But that's just sex. But just sex, Susan, I don't love her. I love you. Not my world, but it's okay in their world.

00:09:02
Speaker 1: Some yeah, I guess it is.

00:09:04
Speaker 2: So all you men out there, that guy, all these men out there, if you're interested in Susan or me, let me, let me. Let me cut this down to the simplest of terms. Few monogamy means you're only having sex with us one person, well, not both of us together. Obviously you're only that would be men walk which you know, it's a whole other conversation for another time, but I'm just saying that's for us. I think women believe that monogamy is just having sex with one person.

00:09:35
Speaker 1: And do you know, I actually know women, not many that had relationships I guess you can call them open relationships that they had sex and they dated. And yet the guy and the girl had other partners that they dated and had sex. I don't think I could handle it.

00:09:54
Speaker 2: Oh, I know I had a guy. I wasn't going to tell you this, and I certainly wasn't going to put on our podcasts. But since no one's listening but you and me, we're just talking among us. I had a guy reached out to me the other day who said, you are absolutely stunningly beautiful. I would love to meet you, but I need you to know I'm in an open marriage. Oh yeah, I've seen how fast did I block him?

00:10:16
Speaker 1: No? Well, I would respond it and said, I'm so you know what your honesty, However, that's not my game.

00:10:24
Speaker 2: You know what? I had just watched them. No, I had to watch the dusk grow on the furniture. I only had so much time, and I chose to watch the dust grow. No, I'm not responding to that, I'm not I'm not dignifying that with an answer absolutely not. Let's move on.

00:10:39
Speaker 1: Yeah right, oh boy? All right?

00:10:49
Speaker 2: What do you think?

00:10:50
Speaker 1: Should we get into our fan questions or should we keep talking about not?

00:10:53
Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know. Please let's get into the fan questions. I'm in okay?

00:10:58
Speaker 1: You want to go first?

00:10:59
Speaker 2: You want me to read no, knock yourself up?

00:11:01
Speaker 1: Go okay. This is from anonymous. Hi ladies. I have been dating this guy for the past six months and it's been going well for the most part. At sixty two years old, I am just so excited to be in a relationship and it's really been fun. We live about three hours away from one another, but see each other a few times a month and we text and call all the time. Unfortunately, over the past few weeks, my guy has been saying some things that have raised some red flags for me, and I need help knowing if I should stick around or move on. We have been working on defining our relationship and thinking about where we could be down the road. He made a comment about how I would be the last vagina he ever sleeps with, and it really grossed me out.

00:11:58
Speaker 2: A wait, stop, you said vagina like you weren't sure what it was vagina.

00:12:03
Speaker 1: I just say, he said that you're going to be my last vagina, monogamous, monogamy, go ahead, keep going, the last vagina he ever sleeps with. And it really grows me out. He also is still on dating apps, though he said he doesn't necessarily talk to anyone there, it's just for looking. Oh boy. I went into our next date or hang hang good, yeah, hang out, thinking that I was going to break up with him, but then he told me that he loves me. It's been very confusing and mixed signals. I really do love him and had have had so much fun with him and don't want to be single again. Any advice is appreciated. Love you both.

00:12:50
Speaker 2: Can I jump in? Can I jump in? Yes?

00:12:53
Speaker 1: Please?

00:12:53
Speaker 2: Anonymous. Here's my here's my gut reaction, my intuition. You can be single now, or you can go down the road with this guy and you trust and believe me, you'll be single later. This guy has no clue. He does not want you to be the last vagina he ever sleeps with. He clearly it does not want to be monogamous.

00:13:19
Speaker 1: And but Kathy, did you notice she said we have been working on defining our relationship and thinking about where we could be down the road. Uh huh.

00:13:29
Speaker 2: Where we could be down the road is he's got several other vaginas he's dealing with. That's where you're going to be down the road. And you know what, it's okay, back to what we said earlier. If you agree to that, it's great. But my guess is based on what Anonymous is saying. She's not okay with multiple vaginas being in her life.

00:13:51
Speaker 1: So also, I hope to God because it grossed her out. She addressed that with him when she saw him. That would be one of the things I would talk to him about. Why would you say, last vagina, that is not well that it's just gross.

00:14:07
Speaker 2: It is well respectful. But you missed on who he is. I mean, he's not on my dance card list. I can tell you if but wait, she said, but then he told me he loved me. Ladies, Please, I'm going to speak for Susan and me together. Susan correct me if I'm wrong. Ladies, the be all to end all is not that a man tells you he loves you. It's in his actions, It's in his behavior. It is. Words are easy. Words are words, words are cheap. Actions are what defines a man. It's what defines everyone. Don't listen to what I say, watch what I do. So I think, Anonymous, you are getting sucked in because he told you he loves you. He didn't say he loves you, and he's not going to sleep around or find of.

00:15:04
Speaker 1: The let's not forget he's still on the dating site.

00:15:08
Speaker 2: Well, that's because he Susan, do you know why he he's looking? No? He stopped the sentence there. He said, I'm just looking. He's looking for other vaginas. And if she doesn't see that's what I'm saying, sweetie, Anonymous. If you don't see this for what it is, I'm sorry you might have to learn a tough lesson. But I would have the conversation with him, definitely. If you're okay with multiple sex partners, then move forward in this relationship.

00:15:37
Speaker 3: But if you're not the Gina Susan, Susan, I can't get past I can't, I can't, I can't throw up in my mouth.

00:15:48
Speaker 2: Okay, that's lasting Vagina.

00:15:51
Speaker 1: I mean says that I don't know. Don't drive three hours ever again for a last vagina. Man, Okay, just just say.

00:16:00
Speaker 2: Well no, wait if it is the last vagina? Wait, can we have a dollar for every time we've said vagina in this podcast? The last vaginal? I'll give you ten bucks. All right, we're moving on. Good luck. Let us know. Oh, by the way, and im and I'm being serious here, if he's sleeping around you better require condoms and a blood test, an STD test, respect exactly, a note from the doctor.

00:16:25
Speaker 1: Good luck anonymous, Good luck anonymous.

00:16:27
Speaker 2: Let us know how it goes. Okay, our next one is another anonymous.

00:16:32
Speaker 1: Just pause, think about this. What what would your reaction be if he said that to you? I can't get passed, susan, my dear, my last vagina? Am I supposed to go? I love you?

00:16:46
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I think I have to be honest with you. You and I are confident women, and I think this guy has probably given off vibes that are disgusting in other ways. But she's put up with it. So the fact that he is on dating sites and she says he doesn't necessarily talk to him when they're anonymous. I'm willing to bet my I'm willing to bet my last you know, my grandchild. Trust and believe he is talking to other women. People are not on dating sites. To look. You want to go windows shopping, Go to the sporting goods store. Okay, all right, moving on high lady. This again from anonymous. Hi ladies. My sixty two year old neighbor lost his wife of forty years eighteen months ago. I'm sorry. She was the love of his life and was beloved by everyone. Two months after her death, he sold their home and moved to a fifty five and up community. I thought it was quick, but after his wife's long battle with cancer, I'm sure he needed a change. After vacationing with us and another couple in January, he opened up about being lonely and said he was ready to begin dating. We were happy to hear this. He's a wonderful man, smart, successful, attractive, and has a great personality. Two weeks ago he had a first date with a lady he met online. In those two weeks, they've met each other's young adult children, have had dinner with very close friends, have babysat his grandchild, and seen each other every single day. He even shared with me last evening that he's had the prenup talk with her already, I thought to myself, WHOA, what's the hurry? Seems like this is moving at warp speed. I care for this guy and would hate to see him rush into something as serious as marriage. Do I have a heart to heart with him about my concerns or keep my mouth shut and just be happy for him. I'm leaning toward the latter. Thanks concerned Friend's Anonymous, You got it right, baby, Keep your.

00:18:59
Speaker 1: Mouth shut shut because people can meet and can fall really quick. And if people does happen, if people.

00:19:14
Speaker 2: Do see, if.

00:19:18
Speaker 1: People do think it's touching, I think it's harder for because they think, oh what is she money hungry or or.

00:19:23
Speaker 2: Whatever it is? Or is he is he just desperate? Because but here's the thing, Susan, here's the thing. If it doesn't work out, they've tried to make it work out, and they've enjoyed the time together. And time is short, folks. Time is short. And when yours and golden years are short, it's not like you're twenty.

00:19:48
Speaker 1: Three and have to build a future and buy your first house and have children.

00:19:52
Speaker 2: All. Yeah, yeah, So, I say, Anonymous, you know, I know we're going to catch some flat for this, but I would never have said this, you know, earlier in my life. But now you find the man that you think you love, you find the woman that you think you love, go for it, jump in and see what happens. Because you don't get these days back. You don't get this time back, you know, as much as we need to admit it, Susan, we talk about this being our last chapter and our best chapter, and for I think it is. But you know what, don't waste a day of it. Don't waste a day if it doesn't know.

00:20:30
Speaker 1: Kathy, if they're really close and she finds him alone and they're talking, she could say something, but just say, you know, I'm so happy for you. You guys seem so happy and are you sure you know? Is this? Is this what you want to do? You know? Something like that on a note, on a positive note. Yeah, just she could have them over for dinner.

00:20:53
Speaker 2: So would I?

00:20:53
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:20:54
Speaker 2: I would all be happy, you know what I like? You know what I'd be saying, damn it another lost That's exactly what say? You knew it? You knew that? All right? All right?

00:21:07
Speaker 1: Well we're going to concerned friend. Just be a friend, yeah, they're.

00:21:11
Speaker 2: A friend, and be supportive be there and please let us know. And I'm going to just take Susan's line away from her. If they decide to get married, please reach out to Susan. She's a wedding officient she'd be so happy to do it. And I will come along with her and throw the rose petals.

00:21:28
Speaker 1: But you know what, can I add something? Kathy?

00:21:30
Speaker 2: Sure?

00:21:31
Speaker 1: At my age, I don't necessarily think you have to get married either, do I? I would like to be engaged, so you know I'm with that person.

00:21:42
Speaker 2: But no, Susan, you want to be engaged so you can have a ring?

00:21:45
Speaker 1: Just be honest, I do I haven't learned one in a really long time. Okay, so you could lift together. I mean all those prenups and all that, none of that is necessary.

00:21:56
Speaker 2: I well, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no. In many states, if you cohabitate and you live together for more than one year, yeah, and you share bills, your name is an Abil, you are then considered legally married and that so absolutely I would I would have a preemp.

00:22:17
Speaker 1: Do you feel about it? Would you just live with somebody or do you have to be married?

00:22:21
Speaker 2: I do not? At age, I do not feel the need to get married. But if I met the man who loved me and said, you know, I meet you by my side every minute of the day, and I loved him and we loved each other that much, I would consider getting married. But I will be honest, if you to just move in, I would have a prenup. I would because but my situation is different, Susan. You know my husband, Well it feels different to me. My husband worked really hard for the money he earned, and I want my children.

00:22:59
Speaker 1: To get Anybody at our age is gonna you know so, but but go to their families their kids.

00:23:05
Speaker 2: Well, but I'm not saying but I would support myself. I would contribute to our joint living all of those things. But but in terms of wealth, transferring wealth.

00:23:17
Speaker 1: You know, my kids a whole different story.

00:23:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I would probably have a peanut. But no, I don't feel the need to be married. But I will never I'm old enough now to say I will never say never on anything. Would you get married?

00:23:31
Speaker 1: No?

00:23:33
Speaker 2: No, or you don't know, I don't know.

00:23:35
Speaker 1: That's not my goal. My goal is to find my person and live together and enjoy each other. The marriage part is I mean I could marry us.

00:23:45
Speaker 2: You know, Susan's gonna be sitting in the bedroom quiet night over a bowl of popcorn. Hey, let's get married.

00:23:50
Speaker 1: I'm gonna perform say else, And to me, that is the most important thing when you're looking in somebody's eyes and it's just the two of you and share why you want them in your lives and how they make you happy or vice versa. And I commit myself to you and you commit yourself to me. That's matag.

00:24:11
Speaker 2: Wait can we put the word monogamous in there? Please? You're only having sex with me.

00:24:17
Speaker 1: But I'm happy for your neighbor.

00:24:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what, really, Mozzle, I am so happy for your neighbor. I wish them happiness. I hope you wish them happiness. All right, we are going to we're going to try something a little different today. Oh. As we all know, dating in your golden years is tough, it is, and it's not necessarily really openly spoken about. So we are here today, Susan, we are going to change that we want. I think we really should discuss some major themes that we see in our listener writings as well as in you know, our experiences and our friends' experiences are you okay, right, yeah, all right, So the end, some of these are I'm just going to warn you some of these are tough because we are of a certain age. Okay, how do you navigate dating with health issues? You know, at our age, Susan, Whether we want to believe it or not, health issues can be serious and ongoing. So you know, how do you feel about that?

00:25:30
Speaker 1: I think you should be if you're in a monogamous relationship, of course, monogamous that you have to be honest if you have health issues. I mean, you can't just surprise them, no, but how do you But you know, I would want to know if my partner that dating has health issues.

00:25:51
Speaker 2: I mean I would too. But I told you some of these are going to be hard. Let's just say you find out you meet a guy and you're, you know, really into him, and you've been dating a couple I mean, I'm making this up obviously, you've been dating a couple of months, and you find out the guy has Parkinson's or he's been diagnosed with you know, a blood cancer, some kind of leukemia. How are you going to feel about that? Because it's not well, you know, that's going to be an onwe to ask.

00:26:20
Speaker 1: Yourself the question are you here to take care of him? There you got do you love him enough to be there for him in the bad times? Because that's you know, when you get older, shit happens if you will.

00:26:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, but Susan, wait, that's for me. Will wait a minute. But for me, that's the difference when you get married. You know, when I got married at twenty and at that altar, and they said, do you promise to love in sickness and in health? You know, sickness was a long way off, right, You're thinking.

00:26:53
Speaker 1: If you had the flu, we just still.

00:26:54
Speaker 2: Exactly like, Oh shit's I got to bring him chicken little soup. He's got the flu. I don't know. Maybe I will, Maybe I will. I'm talking serious health issues, and so if you get involved with someone who has a serious, on going health issue.

00:27:10
Speaker 1: I mean, you've got to think about your life.

00:27:12
Speaker 2: I don't know.

00:27:13
Speaker 1: Is that okay with you? You won't get to do all the fun things that you thought you could do at this stage of the game. Get up and go. If he's ill or she is ill, do you like? They are my Italians that we love so much, Kathy, you know, my best friends that we travel with alive and they're from Italy and they're beautiful people. And he worked all his life to go and enjoy and she had a stroke.

00:27:39
Speaker 2: Yes, but Susan, the difference they've been married forever. I'm saying, stating in our golden years, I'm going to be I'm nothing if not honest. I if it were a terminal illness, I'd have a really hard time doing that.

00:27:59
Speaker 1: I would, But would you do anything about it internally? You'd have a hard time. But would you stop seeing him because of it?

00:28:08
Speaker 2: You know what?

00:28:09
Speaker 1: That's hard.

00:28:09
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say for this is not a judgment on any man who may want a date for me with me, but I've buried one husband the hardest of ways possible. If I were dating a guy a couple of months and they told me he told me that he had a terminal diagnosis he had just found out, I don't know if I could do it, Susan, It it takes too much out of me at my age.

00:28:37
Speaker 1: Think it would depend on how I felt about it. You know, I'm going to get hate mail for this. You know I am No, You're just being honest. I mean, I mean I can deal.

00:28:47
Speaker 2: I can deal with the chronic health situation, you know things, but that's not life or death.

00:28:54
Speaker 1: We talked about one of our fan questions some time ago. She had a bream issue, remember, and the sex was none and she didn't want to do couldn't do anything, and he hung in there for her.

00:29:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's different. It wasn't for death.

00:29:11
Speaker 1: No, no, yeah, I think for me, it's the life for a couple of years. That's a long time.

00:29:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I know, you know, all right, So what about the next one? Do you share finances? Do you get a prenup? You know, when you get married young, you're in it together to build your lives together. Right, but in your golden years, you know, some of us have generational wealth. Some of us have debts, debt. How do you feel I'd like.

00:29:38
Speaker 1: To know if they're in debt, because I'm not doing it.

00:29:41
Speaker 2: You're not doing what.

00:29:42
Speaker 1: I don't want somebody that's in debt. I wait, a man that can take care of themselves.

00:29:48
Speaker 2: Would you wait, wait a minute. What if he's in debt, but he's paying his debt because he's working, he's paining, okay, or he has you know, you're you're saying you don't want to pay for someone else's debt, Yes.

00:30:00
Speaker 1: Nor would I ever expect anybody to pay for mine.

00:30:03
Speaker 2: Would would you? Would you want a prenup? Would you share your finances with them? Would you show them how much money you have?

00:30:14
Speaker 1: I got it. I'm an open book. I probably in my brain's telling me, no, you shouldn't tell them everything. But the other side of me is, if I'm that in love with you, you need to know everything. But you also need to know it's for my children.

00:30:31
Speaker 2: So for me, uh, I would have to be living with the guy before I would share my financial wealth. But by then we've already had a prenup and he would know that I'm gonna support me. I'm gonna you know, we're gonna have a joint checking account. We're going to share the expenses of the house, unless he wants to pay for it all, and then I'm gonna graciously say thanks.

00:30:54
Speaker 1: Well, I say he could pay for the house should be paid for by them, but if it's not in your paying the mortgage, then I chip in on the utility bills or my food shopping. Of course, I probably wait.

00:31:03
Speaker 2: Can I just tell you more than I'm sorry? I got to deviate one second. Here Susan goes shopping. Were you know we were for a week? She showed. I mean, I don't we all know Kathy doesn't cook. Literally, we walk out, she goes it wasn't bad. It was only four hundred euros. Like, Susan, that's it's like, that's more than four hundred dollars for one week of groceries. Just putting it out there.

00:31:27
Speaker 1: It wasn't even a whole week of groceries.

00:31:30
Speaker 2: Well, I was trying not to embarrass you further.

00:31:32
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Kathy, let me ask you, when is the right time that you're going to integrate your families? Okay, people have established routines with lives where families. Now, when do you think it's time not just to meet him, but his family? And do you think that works? Do you think that ever is going to be like oh, I can't wait to call my stepbrother or you know.

00:32:00
Speaker 2: Well, I can tell you I've done this a couple of times with guys that I dated for more than ten minutes, and integrating I did it slowly, invited uh my kids to come to dinner one night when he was here. Yes, Susan, I did cook dinner that night.

00:32:22
Speaker 1: I think you ordered, didn't you. That was such a bitch. I know she did.

00:32:27
Speaker 2: I cooked all right, it was in the microwave.

00:32:30
Speaker 1: No. I re called me last week and showed me a video. Can I just share, Susan, I'm going to make hamburgers tonight. I go on to the grill now in the house, in the stove. Why what do I do? Wait? Okay, the visit scent of the blackened mess. Okay, this ruined the Okay, wait, we're talking. We're talking dating, but we have to and we got to stop with this story. I my grill. You can't make this ship up my grill about oh, I don't know. Six weeks ago, I was cooking something and the residue caught on fire. And my son's a firefighter. I was like, oh my god, freaked out, close something down, the fire went out. Haven't touched that girl, since I just need underneath.

00:33:18
Speaker 2: Well, now, I learned how to clean the grill, and I did. I did. But prior to cleaning the grill, I wanted to make hamburgers, and so I thought I will. This is a true story, folks. I was on the phone chatting with Nancy from our season who I adore, And I'm cooking the hamburger, and I said, Susan, how do you cook a hamburger? And so she told me what to do. So I started doing it, cooking it. I was talking to Nancy. I turned around. My whole stove is on fire. Flames everywhere. I went, Oh my god, because the grease from the hamburger caught on fire.

00:33:47
Speaker 1: So between that and the pants to high whatever, it was a little black.

00:33:53
Speaker 2: And you've heard of black, and see not this.

00:33:55
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, it was not edible.

00:33:58
Speaker 2: I ate every last bite. It was delicious.

00:34:01
Speaker 1: And see that's the problem. You don't even know the difference. I can't. I can't.

00:34:06
Speaker 2: Susan lives to eat. I eat to live.

00:34:10
Speaker 1: Okay, moving along, so yeah, how soon? Like I have a big mouth, Like I get excited if I meet somebody that I really like, and I've seen a couple of times. I want to tell my kids about it. Yeah you don't.

00:34:24
Speaker 2: I oh, no, I may tell my children I'm dating someone. I just Susan, I have not, you know, since my husband died, I've dated a couple of guys for any length of time, and my children met them, and my children liked them, but I waited. You know, I told them, I said, I'm dating a guy. You know, I think I'm going to date them. You know, it's not a one day but yeah, I'm seeing somebody. It's not a one day guy, but I my children are adults, and again, you're divorced. That's different. My husband died by suicide, and my kids are very sensitive, particularly my daughter about it. Six years, right, six, Jess was six years but you know it's it's it was her dad. She was young. I'm very careful about who I introduce my kids to. Casual dates. No, And I would encourage people if you're dating in your golden years, don't feel the rush to you know, this guy you've had two dates with, to introduce him to your children and your grandchildren.

00:35:25
Speaker 1: But then say you're in it like the better part of a year and it's a holiday. Do you invite his kids as well as yours?

00:35:34
Speaker 2: You know, that's a tougher one. I think it depends on the dynamic between you and your kids. Would you do it?

00:35:46
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, they all come.

00:35:47
Speaker 2: Well, Susan has a house full of ninety you know, in every holiday, so really, one boyfriend, excuse me, one boyfriend more or less really just kind of melds into the crowd. No one cares, all right, Kath, Yeah.

00:36:01
Speaker 1: What are you really looking for in a relationship?

00:36:06
Speaker 2: That is so easy for me to answer, Susan, I'm looking for the guy who loves me for who I am, wants to spend time with me, wants to wake up next to me, isn't trying to change me. It's just so happy that I've come into his life and he's come into my.

00:36:24
Speaker 1: Life pretty so makes you smile, makes.

00:36:27
Speaker 2: And I make him smile pretty much? What about you?

00:36:29
Speaker 1: Same?

00:36:30
Speaker 2: Yeah? Just not that hard, okay that I like this new guy me. Of course you do, because it's not it's not what was what you hated?

00:36:41
Speaker 1: I think the answer for you what you would do?

00:36:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. We've forgotten it, all right, it's all forgotten anyway. Thank you all to our listeners. We hope you know you learned. You certainly learned about Kathy's fires on the grill and on the stove. You've learned about Susan and I are looking for in guys. So thank you for joining us today.

00:37:00
Speaker 1: And thank you again, and make sure you follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have a lot new, a lot more new. I'm telling you a lot of new questions episodes coming out every week, and you don't want to miss this. And then what we're going to say.

00:37:18
Speaker 2: You never know, You never know, just you just never know. But here's the thing. We can't answer your questions if you don't submit them to us. It's just that's the way that goes. All you have to do, it's simple. Go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or even easier dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:37:41
Speaker 1: Absolutely listen to our Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. This has been fun, so much fun.

00:37:50
Speaker 2: Have a great week, everybody, come