182 | Mastering the 5 Goals of Child-Centered Play Therapy Sessions: From Theory to Practice

0
00:00:00,409 --> 00:00:04,309
You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

1
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:08,119
Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

2
00:00:08,449 --> 00:00:10,630
Hi, I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

3
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,729
This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

4
00:00:12,739 --> 00:00:15,029
a master class in child-centered Play therapy

5
00:00:15,109 --> 00:00:17,379
and practical support and application for your

6
00:00:17,389 --> 00:00:19,399
work with children and their families.

7
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:20,450
In today's episode,

8
00:00:20,459 --> 00:00:23,110
we are continuing in the summer school series

9
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,350
reading seminal texts from the child-centered theoretical model.

10
00:00:27,709 --> 00:00:28,319
And today,

11
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,889
I'm going to be reading a few things from

12
00:00:30,899 --> 00:00:34,330
the practical handbook for building the play therapy relationship

13
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:37,049
by Giordano, Landreth, and Jones.

14
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,639
So before we dive into that,

15
00:00:39,650 --> 00:00:43,020
I have a few housekeeping things and then we'll get to the text.

16
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,750
So, first and foremost,

17
00:00:44,759 --> 00:00:47,740
I wanted to let you all know that we have a couple spots

18
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:52,049
left in the August group of the play Therapy Professional Certification program.

19
00:00:52,389 --> 00:00:56,009
So if you have been thinking about being a part of the coaching program,

20
00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:58,659
if you've been interested in setting up a discovery call with me,

21
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:03,009
we have a few spots left that cohort begins on August 19th.

22
00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:04,699
So we have a couple of weeks to go

23
00:01:04,919 --> 00:01:07,230
if you have been wondering if it would be a

24
00:01:07,239 --> 00:01:09,459
good fit for you please set up a discovery call,

25
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:11,650
go to www.playtherapypro.com

26
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:15,360
and click on "get certified" and you can set up the call there.

27
00:01:15,870 --> 00:01:17,660
Ok. Housekeeping item number two.

28
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,449
Back by popular demand,

29
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,419
we are launching

30
00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:26,300
one last and final Six-Figure Play Therapist program.

31
00:01:26,790 --> 00:01:29,230
So for those of you that have not been around for a while,

32
00:01:29,239 --> 00:01:32,459
are not familiar with how the coaching programs have evolved.

33
00:01:32,879 --> 00:01:36,639
The Six-Figure Play Therapist program was a year long program

34
00:01:36,949 --> 00:01:42,239
and it combined child-centered play therapy skills with business acumen.

35
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:46,779
So it was very focused on private practice, on making that profitable,

36
00:01:47,199 --> 00:01:51,660
as well as building child-centered skills so that you can

37
00:01:52,209 --> 00:01:54,300
provide for yourselves and your family

38
00:01:54,589 --> 00:01:55,690
and do what you love.

39
00:01:56,309 --> 00:02:00,650
I had a lot of people reach out and say that they wanted one but not the other.

40
00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:05,180
So we split those tracks, but I've now had people say I really want both.

41
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,180
So we're gonna do one more round

42
00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:09,710
and we're going to take the content from it

43
00:02:09,979 --> 00:02:12,699
to create some on demand training in the future.

44
00:02:12,729 --> 00:02:16,220
But if you are interested in the private practice coaching

45
00:02:16,509 --> 00:02:20,970
and the business coaching as well as the child-centered play therapy training,

46
00:02:21,089 --> 00:02:23,639
then the Six-Figure program is probably for you.

47
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:28,600
So more information to come on that we are wanting to launch that mid September.

48
00:02:29,139 --> 00:02:32,570
So we will keep you aware of what to do to

49
00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:34,809
express interest in that and get signed up for that.

50
00:02:35,119 --> 00:02:37,289
But that is going to be one final hurrah

51
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:41,110
of a year long coaching program for both tracks.

52
00:02:41,539 --> 00:02:43,639
Ok. And then last, but not least

53
00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:45,410
wanted to give you all an update.

54
00:02:46,009 --> 00:02:48,630
I was not given a booth at the

55
00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:51,270
APT convention in Atlanta this year.

56
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:52,710
I'll keep

57
00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:56,250
my thoughts quiet on that. However,

58
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:59,050
I am going and I do wanna make you all aware for those

59
00:02:59,059 --> 00:03:02,600
of you who've been thinking about going or have already plans to go.

60
00:03:03,070 --> 00:03:07,820
I will be there. I am planning a big meet up on Friday evening.

61
00:03:08,339 --> 00:03:12,229
So that Friday, I don't know whether we're going to get a room in the hotel,

62
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,300
we're going to get a restaurant, we're going to

63
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,029
cop-a-squat on the pool deck. I have no idea, but

64
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,750
I promise I'm working on it.

65
00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:24,750
Just know that I'm going to get all of my tribes people together.

66
00:03:24,759 --> 00:03:28,110
So if you're a podcast listener, if you're a coaching participant,

67
00:03:28,279 --> 00:03:31,710
if you are a collective member, if you've ever heard of me,

68
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,259
ever know anything about me?

69
00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:34,710
This is for you.

70
00:03:34,929 --> 00:03:39,539
I love you all. I promised y'all I'd be there. So I, so it will not be in a booth

71
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:40,779
environment.

72
00:03:41,009 --> 00:03:44,440
I'm going to make sure that we have an opportunity to all get together.

73
00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:47,899
I'm probably going to do some live podcast episodes

74
00:03:48,059 --> 00:03:51,729
and I'll probably do some interviews. So who knows what's gonna happen?

75
00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:54,279
But Friday and Saturday, I will be at the conference

76
00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:57,160
and more information to come on where those meet

77
00:03:57,169 --> 00:03:59,279
ups will be and what that will look like.

78
00:04:00,009 --> 00:04:03,070
All right, housekeeping over, let's get into

79
00:04:03,289 --> 00:04:03,910
the text.

80
00:04:03,919 --> 00:04:07,179
So again, I'm reading from A practical handbook for building the play therapy

81
00:04:07,190 --> 00:04:07,990
relationship,

82
00:04:08,199 --> 00:04:10,080
Giordano, Landreth, and Jones.

83
00:04:10,570 --> 00:04:15,770
So five goals of play therapy sessions are outlined in the beginning of this book.

84
00:04:16,329 --> 00:04:18,678
And I'm going to go through each of the five

85
00:04:19,108 --> 00:04:21,220
and I found it so interesting

86
00:04:21,488 --> 00:04:24,589
that once, you know, child-centered theory,

87
00:04:25,579 --> 00:04:29,309
it's so evident why these are five goals

88
00:04:29,589 --> 00:04:31,809
and how you get there

89
00:04:32,450 --> 00:04:35,209
with use of specific tools.

90
00:04:35,369 --> 00:04:38,690
So you'll see what I mean as we go through these. So let's look at each one.

91
00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:41,279
So the first goal of play therapy sessions

92
00:04:41,510 --> 00:04:42,670
is to number one,

93
00:04:43,459 --> 00:04:45,829
allow children through the medium of play

94
00:04:46,230 --> 00:04:48,739
to communicate thoughts, needs and feelings.

95
00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:52,489
So when we understand

96
00:04:53,179 --> 00:04:57,149
that they're not going to communicate verbally, it's going to be through their play

97
00:04:57,769 --> 00:05:01,429
and they will communicate thoughts, needs and feelings. Sometimes

98
00:05:02,089 --> 00:05:04,029
in other texts they reference

99
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:05,709
wants and desires.

100
00:05:06,359 --> 00:05:09,359
So you might wanna throw those in there as well, communicate thoughts, needs,

101
00:05:09,369 --> 00:05:10,910
feelings, wants and desires.

102
00:05:11,649 --> 00:05:15,799
But the goal is to allow children through their play, to express those things.

103
00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:17,440
And

104
00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:21,339
this essentially means that they are having an experiential

105
00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:24,619
and emotional conversation with us.

106
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,410
So we're not necessarily talking about these things,

107
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:33,079
but we as play therapists in a child-centered playroom are experiencing

108
00:05:33,089 --> 00:05:37,200
these things and we are connecting emotionally on these things.

109
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:41,779
And what is the tool that allows us to most effectively do this

110
00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:43,679
are reflective responding.

111
00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:49,350
So as the child is behaving,

112
00:05:49,929 --> 00:05:51,940
speaking or emoting,

113
00:05:53,230 --> 00:05:55,059
they are letting us

114
00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:57,809
a little window, a peek through the window

115
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,929
of their thoughts, needs feelings, wishes and desires.

116
00:06:02,089 --> 00:06:06,589
So through the use of reflective responses, we are able to

117
00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:09,739
create an environment where that goal can be achieved.

118
00:06:10,609 --> 00:06:12,029
OK. Goal number two

119
00:06:12,359 --> 00:06:15,440
to help children develop a more positive self-concept

120
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,880
and more positive feelings

121
00:06:18,329 --> 00:06:21,859
of self acceptance, self-respect, self worth

122
00:06:21,959 --> 00:06:23,109
and self-confidence.

123
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:28,350
Let me read that again to help children develop a more positive self-concept

124
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:34,109
and more positive feelings of self acceptance, self-respect, self worth

125
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,350
and self-confidence.

126
00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:37,019
OK?

127
00:06:37,410 --> 00:06:41,399
And when we understand that children will naturally

128
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:45,769
start to think of themselves in more positive ways through the child-centered

129
00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:46,619
process.

130
00:06:47,959 --> 00:06:51,390
And a universal outcome is an increase in self esteem.

131
00:06:52,309 --> 00:06:56,010
The way that we create an environment where this takes place

132
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,950
is conveying the be-with attitudes.

133
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:03,149
I'm sure you're all yelling them at me. You know, my pop quizzes,

134
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:07,100
I'm here. I hear you. I understand, I care, and I delight in you.

135
00:07:08,899 --> 00:07:10,589
So when we convey

136
00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:13,470
those five principles

137
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,230
and attitudes to children,

138
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:22,709
they naturally will develop positive feelings of self acceptance, self respect,

139
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:23,970
self worth and self-confidence.

140
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:24,359
Why?

141
00:07:24,489 --> 00:07:26,190
Because it's unconditional,

142
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:30,619
I'm here, I hear you, I understand, I care, and I delight in you

143
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,019
no matter

144
00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:37,829
what your behavior is, no matter what you say, no matter how you feel,

145
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:39,510
no matter what happens.

146
00:07:40,859 --> 00:07:43,220
So they develop a more positive self concept

147
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:47,880
and the way that that takes place is our expression of the be-with attitudes.

148
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,170
OK. Goal number three

149
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:53,239
to help children develop more self direction,

150
00:07:53,679 --> 00:07:54,920
self reliance,

151
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,190
self responsibility

152
00:07:57,359 --> 00:08:00,850
and self control. There's a lot of self words in these goals.

153
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,470
Isn't that lovely?

154
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:03,739
Does it? OK. Sorry.

155
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,690
I'm just gonna take a quick left turn here, but I promise it'll,

156
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:08,369
it'll come back full circle.

157
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,359
What other modality

158
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:15,859
would have goals that have so many words

159
00:08:15,869 --> 00:08:19,809
that begin with self as a hyphenated expression.

160
00:08:20,809 --> 00:08:25,269
We've said self concept, self acceptance, self respect, self worth,

161
00:08:25,279 --> 00:08:28,950
self confidence, self direction, self reliance, self responsibility,

162
00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:29,829
self control.

163
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,230
Why?

164
00:08:32,549 --> 00:08:37,528
Because we believe in the child's inherent awareness of what they need to do

165
00:08:37,938 --> 00:08:39,308
for themselves

166
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:40,659
and it's

167
00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:42,619
child directed,

168
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,539
child initiated

169
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,190
child led.

170
00:08:46,539 --> 00:08:49,659
Why? Because it's self actualization.

171
00:08:51,469 --> 00:08:53,479
We can't force a child

172
00:08:53,729 --> 00:08:54,390
to

173
00:08:54,820 --> 00:08:56,349
do any of these things.

174
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,440
It's predicated on the notion

175
00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:01,309
that they will self

176
00:09:01,419 --> 00:09:01,979
direct,

177
00:09:02,979 --> 00:09:04,659
they will self heal,

178
00:09:05,049 --> 00:09:06,700
they will self change.

179
00:09:07,489 --> 00:09:09,080
We could give them a worksheet.

180
00:09:09,729 --> 00:09:11,229
But that's us.

181
00:09:12,309 --> 00:09:15,820
That's Brenna, that's you fill in the blank, your name.

182
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:17,929
That's therapist, that's adult,

183
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,250
that's authority figure, that's teacher,

184
00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:22,650
that's coach,

185
00:09:22,859 --> 00:09:24,450
that's counselor.

186
00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:27,400
There's nothing self about that.

187
00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:31,500
But look at all the times that this says self in these goals,

188
00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:32,830
how delightful.

189
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:36,080
Ok? I promised I would come back. I'm back. So

190
00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:40,150
number three to help children develop more self direction, self reliance,

191
00:09:40,159 --> 00:09:42,590
self responsibility and self control

192
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:44,309
and

193
00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:48,969
the skill that we use, that creates the environment for that.

194
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,299
Actually, this is kind of a combo

195
00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:54,789
we limit set when needed and necessary.

196
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,210
And otherwise

197
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:58,989
we provide choices.

198
00:10:00,859 --> 00:10:03,919
So there's kind of a hybrid here of choice giving and limit setting

199
00:10:04,099 --> 00:10:08,239
as far as the skills go. But because limits are only needed when they're needed.

200
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:13,000
If we're not setting a limit, then we would be providing choices

201
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:17,940
and through the necessary limits though few and far between

202
00:10:18,130 --> 00:10:21,750
and through the opportunities that children have to make choices,

203
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,950
they develop self direction, self reliance,

204
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,820
self responsibility and self control.

205
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:29,229
OK. Goal number four

206
00:10:29,469 --> 00:10:33,630
to assist children in learning to identify and express feelings.

207
00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:37,109
This one's probably the, the easiest of the bunch.

208
00:10:37,119 --> 00:10:38,880
I don't even probably have to go into this. But

209
00:10:38,989 --> 00:10:42,590
our skill and tool is to reflect the child's feelings.

210
00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:45,489
Notice how we're going through pillars here,

211
00:10:45,739 --> 00:10:47,419
we're going through tenets

212
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:49,340
and foundational principles.

213
00:10:49,729 --> 00:10:52,320
We have reflective responses. We have be-with attitudes.

214
00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:53,840
Now we're hitting the pillars

215
00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:56,979
y'all. This is the beauty of

216
00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:58,700
child-centered play therapy.

217
00:10:59,739 --> 00:11:03,940
There's framework, there's system, there's process,

218
00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:05,919
there's grounding.

219
00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:09,010
We know what we're supposed to do

220
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:11,080
and we know why

221
00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:12,900
and we know the outcomes.

222
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:14,700
This is

223
00:11:14,859 --> 00:11:18,030
the most freeing thing that we could do as

224
00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:20,020
therapists that work with children.

225
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,979
You have a theoretical model

226
00:11:24,219 --> 00:11:26,090
that gives you everything you need

227
00:11:28,409 --> 00:11:28,940
this.

228
00:11:29,609 --> 00:11:31,830
I don't understand why anyone would do anything else

229
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,750
but you know, that I think that way so

230
00:11:34,109 --> 00:11:37,549
to assist children in learning to identify and express feelings,

231
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:41,429
we reflect their feelings, that helps them to develop an emotional vocabulary.

232
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,039
Because remember, it's a two part process,

233
00:11:44,119 --> 00:11:46,750
they have to accurately identify their feeling first

234
00:11:47,109 --> 00:11:50,710
and then they have to effectively communicate the feeling subsequently.

235
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:55,010
So they have to identify and express them. That's what that says here.

236
00:11:55,830 --> 00:12:00,039
And they do that through an emotional vocabulary which is built from

237
00:12:00,049 --> 00:12:03,909
us being able to reflect their feelings to them in sessions.

238
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:05,590
All right.

239
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:06,580
And then finally,

240
00:12:06,609 --> 00:12:11,429
fifth goal to help children develop an internal source of evaluation

241
00:12:11,929 --> 00:12:14,119
and to become more trusting of self.

242
00:12:14,869 --> 00:12:15,909
There's our word again,

243
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:19,580
to help children develop an internal source of evaluation

244
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:23,080
and to become more trusting of self. How do we do that

245
00:12:23,789 --> 00:12:24,940
esteem, building

246
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:26,380
and encouragement,

247
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:34,049
they have to trust themselves because someone tells them that they're capable,

248
00:12:34,669 --> 00:12:37,179
someone expresses to them that

249
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:38,900
they can feel competent,

250
00:12:39,619 --> 00:12:44,510
someone communicates that they can have confidence in their own abilities.

251
00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:48,809
They learn to develop an internal source of evaluation

252
00:12:49,780 --> 00:12:51,739
because we're not praising them,

253
00:12:51,989 --> 00:12:53,229
we're encouraging them

254
00:12:55,119 --> 00:12:58,700
and they become more trusting of self because we're building their self esteem.

255
00:13:01,059 --> 00:13:02,320
All right. So

256
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:08,190
very clearly to me, I looked at those five goals and I was like, oh my gosh, I can,

257
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,520
I can see

258
00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:11,010
how

259
00:13:11,419 --> 00:13:17,099
those are achieved by the use of specific skills. So I kind of added my own spin there

260
00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:20,130
in the book. It only went over those five goals.

261
00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:22,299
I just added the way that you get there.

262
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,039
Now, that's on page four, on page five.

263
00:13:25,729 --> 00:13:27,489
I want to read you two paragraphs

264
00:13:28,650 --> 00:13:30,099
and we'll kind of

265
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:31,960
digest this together

266
00:13:33,369 --> 00:13:35,270
a little bit of a pep talk, I suppose.

267
00:13:35,669 --> 00:13:38,710
Although words carry powerful messages,

268
00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:44,380
the attitude in which the words are communicated is equally important.

269
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:50,239
Responses made in an interactive and conversational manner,

270
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:52,359
sound natural and genuine.

271
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:56,979
The therapist's body posture, facial expressions

272
00:13:57,090 --> 00:14:02,390
and tone of voice, convey interest, warmth and acceptance of the child.

273
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,299
So let's look at a few of those components.

274
00:14:06,830 --> 00:14:08,919
Although words carry powerful messages.

275
00:14:08,929 --> 00:14:12,530
Yes, of course, we don't do our jobs if we don't have the words

276
00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:13,679
to do so.

277
00:14:14,289 --> 00:14:15,919
So they do carry powerful messages.

278
00:14:15,929 --> 00:14:18,940
We just looked at five goals and we looked at how the skills

279
00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:23,520
that we're using allow those goals to develop in sessions for children.

280
00:14:23,789 --> 00:14:26,479
So yes, of course, words carry powerful messages.

281
00:14:26,489 --> 00:14:30,559
However, the attitude in which the words are communicated is equally as important.

282
00:14:32,159 --> 00:14:37,539
It is not just about the skills, it is not just about robotically

283
00:14:38,099 --> 00:14:41,469
spouting off what we're supposed to say when we're supposed to say it

284
00:14:42,409 --> 00:14:46,210
responses made in an interactive and conversational manner,

285
00:14:46,650 --> 00:14:48,090
sound natural and genuine.

286
00:14:48,099 --> 00:14:52,150
We talk about the flow and the fluidity and the ease of sessions.

287
00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:56,169
Trust me, I've watched gosh, thousands at this point,

288
00:14:56,510 --> 00:14:59,080
thousands of therapists play sessions

289
00:14:59,739 --> 00:15:03,770
and you know what I see consistently across almost all of them early on

290
00:15:04,869 --> 00:15:06,789
a robotic, stiff,

291
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,739
awkward vibe

292
00:15:10,150 --> 00:15:13,460
in sessions. Even if the skills are being appropriately used.

293
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:15,169
Why?

294
00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:16,969
Because

295
00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:17,960
it's not

296
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:22,260
natural and genuine in an interactive and conversational manner,

297
00:15:23,559 --> 00:15:26,969
it's use of skill, use of skill, use of skill, use of skill.

298
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,049
But the attitude in which the words are communicated is equally as important.

299
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,859
The therapist's body posture, facial expression and tone of voice

300
00:15:37,219 --> 00:15:40,340
are what convey the interest, warmth and acceptance of the child.

301
00:15:42,049 --> 00:15:43,830
That's why our personalities

302
00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:45,520
are a part of this.

303
00:15:46,359 --> 00:15:48,409
That's why how much we love kids

304
00:15:48,859 --> 00:15:50,570
comes out in sessions

305
00:15:51,940 --> 00:15:52,840
because it's,

306
00:15:52,979 --> 00:15:53,849
it's us,

307
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:58,039
it's our facial expressions and tone and, and posturing

308
00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:00,150
that convey the important things.

309
00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:01,640
Ok?

310
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,500
And then the last paragraph which I think is probably the most impactful

311
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:08,429
understanding, the rationale

312
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,780
and wording of therapeutic responses

313
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:14,659
will not produce a healing atmosphere.

314
00:16:16,419 --> 00:16:17,150
Wow,

315
00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:20,409
understanding the rationale,

316
00:16:21,349 --> 00:16:24,229
why we do what we do. You know how much I care about the why

317
00:16:25,409 --> 00:16:27,340
understanding the rationale

318
00:16:27,859 --> 00:16:28,880
and wording

319
00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:31,409
do we need to know

320
00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:33,239
how the skills are to be worded?

321
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,349
Absolutely.

322
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,640
But understanding the rationale and the wording of

323
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:41,590
the responses will not produce a healing atmosphere.

324
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:43,679
Instead,

325
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:45,799
a genuine

326
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:47,049
trusting

327
00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:49,200
empathic relationship

328
00:16:50,049 --> 00:16:51,989
is the foundation from which

329
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,309
in quotes, the words

330
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:57,869
can empower and heal.

331
00:16:59,599 --> 00:17:01,200
All right. So that last sentence,

332
00:17:02,099 --> 00:17:03,619
the only way

333
00:17:04,060 --> 00:17:06,118
that the words that we use,

334
00:17:06,699 --> 00:17:08,250
empower kids

335
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,050
and heal kids

336
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:14,199
is the genuine trusting empathic relationship

337
00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:17,180
that serves as the foundation

338
00:17:17,739 --> 00:17:18,810
upon which

339
00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:21,410
empowerment and healing can take place.

340
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:24,708
So it's not

341
00:17:25,569 --> 00:17:26,260
the why

342
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,439
it's not the wording,

343
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:29,880
it's not the skill,

344
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:33,010
it is

345
00:17:33,829 --> 00:17:35,199
the relationship

346
00:17:36,479 --> 00:17:39,719
which is genuine, trusting and empathic.

347
00:17:40,969 --> 00:17:42,010
And that

348
00:17:42,219 --> 00:17:43,439
is the foundation

349
00:17:44,369 --> 00:17:46,349
that allow the words that we say

350
00:17:47,989 --> 00:17:50,380
to create empowerment and healing for kids.

351
00:17:52,349 --> 00:17:55,709
So moral of the story and why this is a little pep talk for you.

352
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:58,410
I hear so many of you

353
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,349
be very hard on yourselves.

354
00:18:00,770 --> 00:18:05,969
I hear so many of you and, and watch so many of you and listen to so many of you,

355
00:18:06,949 --> 00:18:08,290
comment on,

356
00:18:08,310 --> 00:18:11,689
I still have such a long way to go and I still have so many things I need to improve.

357
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:14,790
And I'm still not there yet and I'm still not where I wanna be. And,

358
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:17,880
and there's so many things that I am still trying to figure out. And

359
00:18:18,579 --> 00:18:21,140
yes, as you should, as we all should

360
00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:23,709
never stop learning, never stop growing,

361
00:18:23,829 --> 00:18:25,709
never stop honing skills.

362
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,469
Always, always,

363
00:18:28,949 --> 00:18:30,520
if we stagnate, we die.

364
00:18:30,930 --> 00:18:31,569
So

365
00:18:31,729 --> 00:18:33,939
let's make sure that we're always

366
00:18:34,099 --> 00:18:35,410
trying to

367
00:18:36,770 --> 00:18:38,939
be the best child-centered play therapist that we can be.

368
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,400
However,

369
00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:47,709
we cannot get so caught up in the words and the skills

370
00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:49,069
and the rationale

371
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:50,459
and

372
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:54,180
whether or not we had it exactly like the book says it,

373
00:18:55,739 --> 00:18:58,650
that we lose the fact that yet again,

374
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:02,040
what, what's, what's my favorite phrase about this whole thing?

375
00:19:02,869 --> 00:19:04,969
It's always about the relationship

376
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,180
and if there is a genuine,

377
00:19:08,349 --> 00:19:11,219
trusting, empathic relationship

378
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,560
that serves as the cornerstone

379
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,930
and then, and only then

380
00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:20,760
the words,

381
00:19:21,069 --> 00:19:22,380
empower and heal.

382
00:19:23,109 --> 00:19:25,060
So it's, it's a combination

383
00:19:25,699 --> 00:19:26,579
you getting that.

384
00:19:27,310 --> 00:19:30,479
Please let that settle into the depths of your soul.

385
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,750
Please hear how important it is

386
00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:41,560
to remind yourselves that it is not the be all end all if you say every single skill

387
00:19:42,199 --> 00:19:43,880
in an ideal manner

388
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,500
because it is never

389
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:48,829
the words.

390
00:19:49,089 --> 00:19:50,550
It's the attitude in

391
00:19:50,869 --> 00:19:52,630
which the words are communicated

392
00:19:53,089 --> 00:19:55,739
and it's the relationship that is created

393
00:19:56,719 --> 00:19:59,030
and it is the non verbals

394
00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:00,660
that convey

395
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,030
the acceptance.

396
00:20:03,079 --> 00:20:07,579
So prioritize that just as much as you prioritize your skills

397
00:20:08,829 --> 00:20:12,300
because they both are equally important. We can't lose sight of that.

398
00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:15,819
All right, y'all, I'll end with that.

399
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,099
Feel loved, feel encouraged, feel supported.

400
00:20:19,329 --> 00:20:20,939
We'll talk again soon. Bye.

401
00:20:21,969 --> 00:20:25,949
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr Brenna Hicks.

402
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:28,109
For more episodes and resources.

403
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:32,989
Please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.