#91 - Travis Meadows - Artist + Writer for songs from Dierks Bentley, Eric Church and Jake Owen

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Speaker 1: All right, welcome to episode ninety one of the Bobby Cast, thanks to Blue Apron and in with Travis Meadows. You're one of those guys, and I talked about this sometimes on my radio show, where it's you see someone on social media so much you feel like you know them, but you've actually never met them. I feel that way towards you, Like when you came in a minute ago, I was like, hey, goodness, and I was like, we've never actually human met and so that's kind of a weird thing where you follow someone online and then you feel like you kind of know them. Yeah, I feel the exact same way about you. Actually, well it wasn't. It wasn't like, hey, it's finally, it's like, dude, I'm gonna see you. Let's talk a little bit. Feel that way. I'm glad you here because to me, when I love your music, thank you, I think you have an incredibly interesting story, one that I also relate to. So yeah, let's just what I want to do first is talk about and I'm talking about it just kind of let the listeners know some of the songs that they may have heard that you've written on the radio before, like Dirks and rises super this one. We'll come back around to it. I'm gonna get up off the ground on and Jake cut Jake on and cut what we ain't got? We all we ain't got? Maybe from lindsay, oh you've heard Worth the Weight. You woke up with her. So that's just an idea. But the reason I bring it now because you've got a new record called First Cigarette. And so let's talk about that for a second. Let's let's talk about your music first. Let's call first first Thing right here, title track like a first cigarette. So tell me about this record here. Man, I'm a I'm a mess. You know, I'm a mess. And I moved to town. I'd kind of given up on being an artist and uh, and I was just gonna be a writer and things just kind of bottomed out for me. And and so um, check myself into rehab two or three times, you know, trying to sort things out and uh and up and and as part of my therapy, as part of my treatment, they suggested that I keep a journal, and I don't keep journals. So I started writing songs um about that process because it was, you know, it was cheaper than therapy. And and so I did this record called Killing Uncle Buzzy. That's how, that's how I first heard about you. That's how that's that kind of changed everything. But by the time that I finished that record, I was nine months sober, which was awesome. And uh, and that record started growing legs and getting no famous people's busses. So that's you know, that's how Jake and and the Dirks and all of those guys have kind of gotten familiar with my music and so um. And then you know, that was just a homework project. I never intended for anybody even hear those songs, you know. And then I started getting invited to play and I'm like, wait a minute, So you want me to come to a bar and sing songs about me getting sober? This and and so that's what I started doing. And and one thing they had to do do another. And then I did another little record nobody ever knew I did. But I kind of needed to move past, uh, Killing Uncle Buzzy, you know, because I wasn't that guy anymore. Um. But First Cigarette in My Mind's Eye is the sophomore record to Killing Uncle Buzzy, because Old Ghost and Unfinished Business was kind of a kind of I just needed to move forward, and so, you know, some momentum. But first cigarette, I actually sat down and thought about it. I need, you know, I need to do it another record. It's it's a little bit of a of a saving grace to me because, um, writing songs trying to uh, you know, guess what Tim mc grawl may want to put on his next record is like you know, trying to guess the weather in a year from now, and it's it's just terribly frustrating. And so in the process of killing Uncle Buzzy, I just kind of learned, uh that, you know, it's a lot more fulfilling to write songs that I love and not worry about what anybody else wants to cut. And so first cigarette was me just going, man, here's some songs I love, and uh uh it is I can be quite self indulgent in my writing, you know, because it's all about me, which is you know, in itself is kind of amusing. Um. But um, but I did because I've been out playing some shows now for for two or three years. I put myself in the listeners chair and if I was sitting there, you know, for an hour listening to some of these songs, I was doing, I would want to slip my risque, you know, because it's just depressing. That's why I like it, because it feels real life. Like the first song I ever heard of yours was learning how to Live Alve This is from Uncle Buzzy al and I try to turn around him. Sorry, you're money, So I don't know what to do with all this freed. The TV keeps me company when he's done. I'm learning how to live. I mean I still get chills here in that song. I do too, honestly, Um, I do too. It moves me. That's from your journal, Yeah, totally. I mean there's you know, there's there's. It's not rocket science. That was me trying to dig myself out of a whole. It is rocket science. So because you're able to take that and turn it into rocket science, like a lot of people struggle, we've all struggled. I mean we're sitting in the room with you, like what's crazy about you? As you've endured so much and a lot of people saying, did I say I've learned like I've I've come through my own shop abouts, But I look at those learning processes. You know, for me, you were a kid, and you were you had cancer at how old is fourteen years old? So you said you were cancer and you're basically your body's changing anyway, like you're going through puberty and cancer at the same time. Yeah, I suggest nobody ever do that because they both suck. They do. So what kind of cancer do you have? Fourteen? It was bone cancer? I steal genic sarcoma, so in your in your right ankle, and and did they have to amputate part of your leg? They did. I was actually, you know, I mean, I'm kind of a pessimist, you know, but if there was something to be grateful for that that kind of particular cancer actually usually hits in the knee and then it races to the lungs, and if it gets to the lungs, you died. Mine was in my ankle, so I actually got to keep my knee, which now you know, at my age and and and bones creaking and stuff, it's you know, because of having your knee makes it a lot easier to walk on a prosthetic. That's why a lot of people don't even realize that I, you know, I'm walking on the prosthetic because they get around good. Plus I was a determined kid. I just I was not going to limp. I'm not going to lamp because I was just too hardheaded. But I didn't want, you know, so I you know, it was just stubborn enough to push through your fourteen You're living in a Misssippi at the time you get cancer. Is your grandma raising youth? You si your grandma point? Both my grandparents were raising me. Yeah, And so when are you finally cancer free? That time, well, I had I think I I went to the hospital for like two years. So basically, you know, I spent two years in the hospital and I had actually I had six chemo treatments left. And back then chemotherapy was um. They said that having chemotherapy then was like what it did to your body was like having pneumonia for a year. And I was doing that every two weeks. So bout the time that I started feeling good, I want to take a walk in the park or get outside or do something and live my life. You know, it was time to go back again. And so I had six treatments left and I said I can't do this anymore. I'm done. And I told my grandparents, I said, I'm I'm done. Live or die. I can't do that anymore. And so, uh, so I quit taking them and and then, you know, in pretty much any cancer, UM, they say, if you go five years, you're you know, you're you're good to go. And so I didn't even pay attention to it. You know, I had a lot of catching up to do and got my driver's license and and started living life, you know, at sixteen and um. And then you know, years later, went in for a check up. Everything was good, and that was so you do the math. That was a long time ago. Do you get nervous when you go in for the check up later on? Are you like you know, well, it's funny you should ask that, because they actually UM, in my early twenties, Um, I was very fortunate. I got to go to MD Anderson and yeah, one of the greatest cancer facilities, and uh and they will do they do a lot of research. And they were doing research and they wanted some of my blood so they could you know, because my because my mother had cancer and my father had cancer and both of them died. Um, and they wanted blood so they could do research. And I said, I ain't doing it. I'm not going to in because it's secretly, I was terrified that they would find something. I didn't want to go through that again. So I put that off for a long time, I think in my late twenties or early thirties. You know. Um, I've always struggled with fear. You know, to me, life was was just a really terrifying place. My first memory on this planet is watching my little brother drowned. So so life has just always been a little terrifying for me. You know, a lot to be anxious about. And but I was kind of wrastling some of that and and and and wanted to face some of my fears, you know, turned around and look at the bear and and so I did go in and I did, you know, I called him and I said, you know, if you've been asking me for ten years now, So I went in and gave them some blood. Um, and I was terrified, but it was all fine, and they got their research, and I just went on about my life, you know, and they said, hey, we have your blood and you're you're good, You're clear. Wow, you talk about your first memory of your little brother Johnny. Were you were for if six years old? Like what? Hell? Yeah, I was just well, I was I was, uh, I think three going on four. Just you know, it's just this. I don't it's it's fuzzy. I just remember watching his legs kick until they wouldn't kick anymore. He died like eight inches of water. He loved water, you know. Um and everybody, UM, I don't. I don't know how Candida, I need to get about that. But but everybody on that side of the family was was drinking, uh, and just they weren't paying close enough attention and he just kind of ran off, you know, and I watched it. It's things like that, Like, you know, I go to a therapist because you know, we all have parts of us love therapy. Yeah, I mean it's a life changer and I need it. And we all have parts of us that are broken. I I do especially, and so I I go to a therapist and I'm always like, you know, I wonder why I'm here, Like I wonder why I had a lot of these experiences that I had as a child growing up. Do you do you think that? Do you wonder why? I guess again, you know, you're a little brother, can't or in and out of rehab, Like do you have that? Like why is all this happening to me? Like, what's the purpose? Man? You know, that's a I think I think the whole world wrestles with that question. You know. Um, you do have to wonder if nothing else, if you can't maybe you know, inspire somebody else. Of course, when you're going through it, that's the last thing on your mind. I don't give a crap about them. I just want to stay alive, you know. But but it seems like if there you know, if there was a bigger purpose, that would you know, maybe somebody could find some hope in that. I know this. Humans are resilient animals, you know. We we get knocked down and we get back up. Um, We're just wired that way. You know what makes you want to continue to fight? Because you fight, it's one after the other. Because I don't want to die. You know, there's there's still you know, Um, sometimes you want to if you know, if there's anything to live for when you're in the when you're in the middle of that dark place. But but yeah, you know, I don't want to die. I feel like I've always I've always I don't know if everybody feels this way, but I've always felt like I had a purpose. I just never could figure out what it was. And that kind of keeps me getting up in the morning and enough, you know, willing to try again and face this you know, scary world again. I will say that that the whole process of making these records and and developing a little, uh fan base, a loyal fan base, um you know, small, small, and mighty, that that has given me quite a quite a a sense of purpose. It's very fulfilling, you know, for those people to listen to the music and connect to it and some of the kind things that they say on uh social media and stuff. It's a you know, it's a good feeling. I struggle with the purpose thing a lot. It's I think we all do. Like guy, it's just like whoa what is it? Like? How do I Sometimes I have to create something to chase, Like I have to put something out there and go, this might be myself because if I don't have a based and it's like, what's the use? Sometimes I don't want I can't figure it out. So you and I know your story and I love your music, but I hear your story in your music, and so like example, like you know you're talking about and I hit this this, but we ain't got like this song. All I want when you sing this song, it makes me want to cry. All I want is what I trade it up just to get her back. She's moving on. But I guess some yeah, we all won't we go. So you cut the song for you, you put it out for you, And how does Jake get a hold of it? I think some. I guess, you know, like I said earlier, that that record just started gold legs and getting on people's busses and somewhere he got a copy of it and fell in love with it. So it wasn't it wasn't like a pitch. I was like, hey, Jay, he just heard the song, and then he reached and goes, hey, would you mind if I cut that? Yeah. He was actually such a gentleman about that whole process. He called me himself. We had met years ago and another in another life, you know, in another dimension, and he was he was just getting started and I was writing the you know, in the in the middle of that dark place, and and we met and uh, I had made a record a long time ago that he got his hands on it, and he liked that too, So we you know, we kind of connected, but it was, you know, a loose connection. Um. But he called me and he said, I did not want you know, you to find out about this through the through the normal channels. I wanted to call you personally and just say, uh, you know, I love this song and I'm going to record it in my first my first thing out of my mouth was you have lost your mind? You know, why would you think that? Well, because because that kind of a song is not what uh what radio is normally playing, and and and and trust me, I'm not one of those guys that it's dogging what's happening in radio. Well, if you can make a dollar in music today, you know what I mean, then congratulations, because it's a it's a tough road, so kudos to you. But um, but my second thought was thank you. And and he even recorded it like he was so careful. He even wanted to record it like I did because of he wanted to keep the integrity of the song and basically honor me in the way that he recorded it. And so he was so humble and like, you know, I hope you love it. We tried really hard to kind of keep the and then put me in his video. You know, he didn't have to do that. Put me in both videos, actually got me up in front of I don't know, twenties something thousand people and got me to sing it with him. We didn't hurt so anything, talk about it pee your pants moment and you know, uh, and it was a half step lower. So right when I went from my part, I was like, you know, but he was very kind. Here's Jake's version. We all wish it hurt when you try and best and it doesn't and goodbye, such a painful word, such a good song. We all wish it didn't you you're you're a missionary for a while, yeah, Christian missionary? Where Oh shoot, I quit counting countries at like twenty Uh what what did you did you decide to? I was twenty four years old and had a and had a bad acid trip and uh and I saw the devil, and I you know, and up. I'm kind of a simple guy, and I thought, well, you know, if I saw the devil, you know, God must be real. And so that was it. I have a real addictive personality. I can't do a little bit of anything, and so you know, when I was getting high, I wanted everybody around me to get high. I when I found Jesus, I wanted everybody to find Jesus, you know. So that took me on a on a road of you know, some of the biggest churches in America and just about every state and uh and then that kind of turned into a global thing and and uh uh yeah, it was a you know, it was a it was a wild ride. Um. If you ever come to one of my live UM shows, there's a lot of talking, there's a lot of storytelling and um, you know at UM. I did that for seventeen years. And then and then are a missionary for seventeen years, Well, I was. I was a youth pastor, I was a worship leader. I was in advantage involved. You're you're involved with guy for seventeen seventeen years. Yeah, and um, and then I started asking questions that I didn't like the answers too, and then I then I kind of bottomed out actually one of them. You know, I'm I'm really chemotherapy. When I when I was a kid, really messed up my hearing. So I'm like deaf, like hearing aid deaf. And so when I listen to music, it's usually just an emotional feeling. I can't actually hear the words, and I printed the lyrics to uh that Dylan song with God on Our Side. It messed me up, man, I mean it, it messed me up. And I was read hearing what you couldn't hear all that, but then when you read it, you were just like, yeah, it kind of messed my head up. Uh and uh And that, of course I was. There was a time in my life when that wouldn't have affected me at all, but I just happened to be right at the top of the slide about to go down, you know. And that was kind of one of the final things that like, you know, I'm done. If this is the best plan y'all got, I am out. And so so I spent the next six years, you know, uh drunk. Basically, I moved to town from um from uh you know, the last place I was in ministry at and I and I moved here and I was just gonna try to be a songwriter. And then uh, I got somebody who set up to three publishing meetings and the first two went so bad I didn't go to the third one, and um, and so I said, well, you know, I guess that's it. I got nowhere to go, so I just I went back to something that felt familiar and started drinking and just stayed drunk, never got a hangover because I had, you know, vodka for breakfast. I mean, you know, I rode up Pony as hard as it would go. Were you writing it all during the process. I've always written. And even when you're drinking at that point where you're were you still writing? Oh yeah, I've always I can't remember when I wasn't righting, even as a kid, you know. Of course, I used to be in some bands. I started off in the drums, on the drums and um, sixteen year old you know that snaked me in the back door because I was under age and I played drums and stuff, and in a couple of bands when I was a kid, And I remember bringing out some some lyrics because we were trying to write a little bit experimenting and that, and some of the band members laughed at the lyrics that they were stupid. So I and lyrics, man, do a writer songs are kind of like kids, you know, and you're it's it's a little bit of a scary, you know, just throw it out there because becausey're a little bit like your kids and you're you're afraid they're gonna say your kids are ugly. So so after those guys kind of laughed at my songs, I just kept them, you know, to myself for for a long time, um, because I didn't want to feel that kind of rejection again. Um. And then in the middle of the uh, in the middle of I don't remember exactly how it happened, but I met a guy, David Huff David the Giants, who was a huge Christian rock guy and um, and and he listened to one of my songs. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but he basically validated it and set up you know, I'd love to write with you. And and that was when the the the the machine kind of turned back on and I went, well, maybe, you know, maybe they're not so stupid after all. So that was kind of a a nice pat on the back. And then then I started, you know, writing and letting people hear him again. And that was that was in my mid twenties when all that happened. Talk about Blue a for him for one second. So people ask me a lot, you know, why do I use Blue Apron one because food is real good and too, it's easy because it comes right to the door. It's prepackaged, like, the ingredients are pre portioned. 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All right. So let's see. I have a lot of music. I have so much to talk about it. But do you have so much talking about I got so many layers here that I want to get into. Let's do Uh, let's talk about this for a second. So Dirk's is a massive song for Dirk. This is Travis Meadow song. Tell me like, when what's what's the Travis stories? This song? All right? Well? Uh, I the last time I got a rehab, I knew that I was done. I was, I was almost done. Like, you're not going back to rehab? No, I ain't doing none of that. I'm not going back. I spent I spent you know, some time in jail for you know, and I just I remember sitting there thinking this is never gonna happen to me again. That was a second time, by the way, and um, and I said, I'm not doing it no more. And I called a eating facility and I said, if you'll detalk to me one more time, you will never see me again with my suitcase, you know, Delf and those circles they'll talk about the bottom. And the bottom is you know, if you if you hit that, you know, but you gotta find it for yourself. And and that was my bottom, that last trip to jail. And so I started getting better and um, and you know, nine months went by, and then a year, and then and about two years man, I started, um. I had a real weird transformation. And I remember sitting in a in a writing room with somebody and I said, something is really wrong with me. Something's kind of out of whack. And she said, well, you talk about I said, well, I quit killing people in my songs and and I'm starting to write about hope and love and and she asked me a question. It was so simple, I kind of it stunned me. She said, well, are you happy? And I had to think about it for a minute, and I, you know, that makes me smile now thinking about it. And I said, oh my god, I am. I'm I'm happy. It had been so long since I had been truly happy. And even the first part of that happiness I couldn't enjoy because I kept waiting on the piano to fall on my head. You know, it was like and so finally I just said, I'm gonna embrace it and I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna quit being you know, negative nelly and and and I just embraced that joy and um and uh and I was at about that place when when Steve Moakler and I, uh we had we had written about a year before, and I was still kind of you know, in a in a in a dark spot. I was coming out of it, you know, I was in the shadows, but I was coming out and uh, you know, he's this hopeful, optimistic young man, good look and just has it all everything. You know, I just hated him as soon as I met him, you know everything. I hate the guy and wound up being dear friends. I love him dearly. But he you know, he came bouncing in the room and he's I got this great idea. It's called wide open, you know, because like the skies are blue even when it's raining, and and uh, man, I'm in love. I'm gonna marry this girl. And I'm thinking I cannot relate to anything you're saying. And uh, but but I I got son and and I told him, well, but maybe if I can't be hopeful or optimistic for myself, I could I could be hopeful for him. And so we wrote this song, uh, wide Open, which was on that second record. Uh uh, and Steve actually put it on his record as well. Um, and this this, you know, optimistic, kind of like a letter to somebody coming behind you. You know, you you have a lot to live for, even though I did not feel it at the time. Fast forward a year or so when we get back in the room and I'm starting to come alive again and I'm you know, I'm kind of a resurrected Travis, you know, And and he comes bouncing in the room and I said, I think I have an idea, you know, because I'm I'm ready to I'm ready to be a participant in life. I kind of laid down for about six years and just kind of, you know, um, just kind of checked out. But I'm ready to. I'm ready to check back in. And uh this, you know, it's kind of about a survivor. And you know, I can, I can fight, and I'll you know, I'll get back in. And he smiled and he said, Um, I don't think I've lived enough life to to help you write this song. You know, I hadn't been through enough and I said, but but that optimism that that you express, you know, that you live, that comes so naturally to you. I think is is the magic bullet on this song, because otherwise it's just gonna end up being another Dark Travis song. And and so that's where it came from. You know, it was was me, you know, wanting to be a participant in life again. Um. And ironically two of my favorite parts of that song, like, I would not any million years what I call myself a lighter. I'll be a fighter, I'll be a get back up or you know not. But I wouldn't say lighter. You know. That was Steve Man, that optimism. I'm a lighter, you know. So it was great. So how does Dark get the song? I'm sorry, how does Dark s end up getting this song? I think there was a publisher that Um, there was a publisher that that had been getting some of my songs. Um. Actually, Willie, that dude is one of the first two meetings that I had that went so bad, which is so funny, talk about coming full circle. The two meetings that I had that went well, he was one of them, and then years later becomes a fan of my songs and he didn't even remember that that you know that he had yeah. Uh And I even tried to explain it to him and he was like, I'm so sorry about that. I'm like, no, you don't understand. I think those words I needed to hear to make me write from a you know, from a different spot. So so he got a hold of it and he sent it to Dirk and all this took place on Facebook, so I wouldn't even its Facebook messenger, so I wasn't even sure if it was real, you know what I mean. Yeah, me and Dirk's are about to cut this song. I'm like, yeah, okay, whatever, and uh. I tried to send him an email like are you for real? And silence and then the next thing, I know, you know, I get another We cut it and we love it and that was it. And then I mean, you talk about six that that's a major success, like commercial money, mainstream you can pay the bills for a while because of that song. Yeah wow, how about you know what the new record? Let me talk about this because I M gonna tell you something. Push you down on It comes Outside. This is my favorite song on a new record, not too really push it down It comes outside way bitter rules turn out to push you down. It comes outside way side away. You're a music music I listened to, and I haven't listened to stuff that they made me listen to for work, Like you know, I play songs on the radio, and I like some of the songs I don't, and I don't go home and listen to a lot of the stuff that played radio. We have home music, like You're You're my home music than you. And whenever it's like, you know, whenever Travis makes a record, I'm like, let's get that record out, like I'm ready sideways, I'm like, man like it just hits me right. And they got that that song in particular, when when that when that started coming out, that's when I knew I had a record in me. Um. I was down in a threeport, Louisiana apulosis, Louisiana to treat my facility for for kids U eighteen and under adolescent treatment facility to words that should not go together, but they do. And I was down there speaking to them and singing, you know, some some songs and telling them my story, hoping they don't, you know, walk down that same road that I did. And and UM and I just kind of had this crazy idea said, well, you know, if you've been sitting here kind of listening to to my life and song, if we were gonna write your song, what would that song be? A couple of hands went up, and a couple of young ladies shared some stories, and I remember one of them particular, and just out of respect for them, I'm not gonna, you know, say what it was, but I remember my first thought thinking, I don't want to get high too. I would, there ain't no doubt about it. I don't want to check out and I don't want to get high too, because nobody did orders to go through that. And and then for some reason, you know, how did how did that make you feel? And one tear come rolling down her cheeks she and she wiped it away and she said, I don't feel nothing, and I'm stuck like what, you know? What do you do? After that, I got the how does that make you feel? Now? What do I do? You know? And and one of the counselors kind of stepped in and said, you know, if if all you have to work with is a hammer, you're gonna treat the whole world like a nail. It's okay to have more than one emotion, and it doesn't have to be anger all the time, because if you push it down, it comes out sideways. And that's when whatever he was saying to her went away. And then it turned into treatment for trav And I'm sitting there, you know, having a moment thinking about how much of my life because our you know, our generation, my generation, anyway, maybe yours. You know, as a man, you're not supposed to talk about your feelings. You're just supposed to man up and just get on about your business, you know, And so you don't talk about your weaknesses, you don't talk about your fears, you don't talk about uh, you know, things that hurt you deeply when you were a child. You just man up and you walk through it, you know. And so that's the way that I lived my life. And an in treatment, you know, uh, I started getting permission from counselors to feel those feelings. And I'm like, are you serious we can, Yeah, let's talk about them. And it kind of turned on, you know, we talked a little earlier about therapy and and then all of a sudden, so I can talk about this, and man, it's like the floodgate opened for me. Um, and it was quite life changing. UM. And I thought about how, you know, how often I had pushed things down and they kind of came out sideways, you know, and it and it hit me every time that I get mad, every single time that I get mad, is because I'm afraid of something, and I wanted to address that in my own life and the way that I process things. Sometimes I don't even know how I feel about it until I write the song. But um, but that song, you know, started evolving. I let it simmer in my head and heart for two or three weeks, and and then I went down to Clarksdale, Mississippi, a to shack up end and I'm with the intention of writing a record, and that song started coming out. And man, they usually I have to labor over songs. That one came out in about thirty forty five minutes. It was just they're waiting to, you know, to come out. And that's when I knew how to record that song. Push it down. It comes outside way. You can hear my second that second verse, you can hear me. I started to break up a little bit, almost cried. Um. Right after you have moments when I act just like my father, the only man that ever broke my heart. And then and when I say push it down, you can hear my voice crack. I about lost it. Jeremy Spielman produced the record, and he asked me, you wanted to take that out? And I said, no, I don't think I do. I wanted to, you know, I wanted to feel what I was feeling so pretty. I felt like a pretty brave moment, you know, for me to leave that in there, the moments like the record, they're honest. I think that's the one, the one consistent thing that I take from there. Well you it out. It just feels so transparent, good, bad, ugly pretty. It's just transparent. It is what it is, and that's why it resonates. And you talk about generations, you know, it's supposed to feel even on the socioeconomic level. For like, I go very poor, and when you're poor, you don't have time to worry about emotions. You gotta eat. And so as you're talking about that and you're like, I don't know if it is for you know, for your generation, but I think we grew up like I grew up in a releast of all talk call Mountain Pine, Arkansas. You grew up down in Mississippi. I think we grew up in kind of the same place to where it wasn't a thing like you did. You didn't talk about feel that, it wasn't even allowed because it wasn't the most important seven things, the feelings. Who cares? You gotta you gotta turn the lights on, you gotta, you gotta pay for food, you know, I gotta I got an addic mom whood of dying in the forties, and I have a dad forever, and so it's I got a sister take care of. I gotta get everybody. And so as you say that stuff like I'm just sitting here like trying to cry myself. I think there's room for I think there's room for some authenticity in this world. I think there's room for some honesty. Man. We are inundated on a daily basis with with lives and and and with with things that were uncertain of, you know, and um, and for somebody to say this kind of scares me a little bit, and you know, just raise your hand right in front of everybody, a go I'm a little I'm a little scared here, you know, or or this hurts. Uh. You know, I think that's the thing that that resonant and and you know this, I have to say though, this this is kind of an accidental thing for me. This isn't something I planned and said, you know, I tell you, I tell what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna write these, you know, really honest songs about some of my dark parts and watch people connect to it. No, it was me digging out of a hole. Man. This was just therapy. Uh. And it just turned into, you know, to something. And I remember some body came up to me not too long ago and they said something that that kind of it was like a punch to the gut. They said, you know, I don't know what you were doing during the preacher years, but you're preaching now. And and at first it kind of made me a little angry, like you, I mean, I spent seventeen years, I said, there's some food. I still don't know what it was. I eight, I've slept in huts in Africa. I was sincere. And for you to say, you know that that that does so I had to process it. I had to. I had to take some time and think about what they were saying. And then it eventually led me to the question, well, what is it that you are doing? Because I don't want the responsibility of changing lives. That's too big for me. I'm I'm I'm just being me and I'm singing my songs. And and if and if the universe or God or whatever wants to do something in your life, that's between y'all. That's I got my own plate, I got my own yard to keep cleaning over here. Um. But it did force me to, you know, ask what are you doing? And I think I think what I'm doing is between the storytelling and the songs. You know, I think I'm giving people permission to be okay right where they're at scars and all. There's not a lot of people are doing that. Um. And it's not that it's not that I Um again, it wasn't intentional. But but you know, we were talking about purpose earlier. I think, you know, maybe maybe maybe I made that up. But but but I kind of came to the conclusion, well, well that's a that's a fair that's a fair sense of purpose. Just you know, um, just be yourself authentically. You you know, my shows are filled with mistakes, man. I can't hear if something's going wrong in the monitor, you know. I mean, it's just but I keep getting up and I keep going back. You know this one right here, bet come on, I hate waiting. There ain't no patience in the better boat. I tell me about that one man I was in a I don't think he's supposed to say it in public because of a thing called anonymity, But I'll say. There are these places. There's the little clubs at meeting in the basement of churches, and they sit on leather couches and drink coffee and talk about how they're hired, hard wired for the hunt, you know. And and I was in one of those club meetings one day and somebody said that said serenity. You know, something that really um applied to me. Said, serenity, you know we're all looking for. Serenity is not found in a calmer ocean or a calm or sea. Serenity is found in a better boat. And I got my phone out and made a little note. And I was actually on the UM on the schedule with Liz Roe, who's who wrote a lot of that Taylor Swift stuff, you know, And and I told her the idea, and and she loved it and so we She basically just you know, uh just helped me process, you know that the idea of of building a better you and making you know and using a you know, boat as the as the format. And I love that song. I'm really I'm really proud of it. I love the way it turned out. He's still living well, we'd call it a camper. We're growing up. Do you look? Do you still living? Like the winter bit? The trailer of the winter Bago. That's actually just my man cave. It's sitting in my driveway and I just go out there because I don't smoke in my house, and so I go out there and I'm kind of keep going back and forth, quit and then smoke again. I've had a real stressful past few months. I quit for a while. And but anyway, my my, that little Winnebago camper uh as my man cave. I go out there process and sorting my thoughts. It's pretty cool. You gotta come by and see it one day. It's pretty rocking. I I lived in the camper for about a year. Like it was that it wasn't a camper show, and it wasn't a full RV. It was the guy knew had attached to bald truck and so I never had a bedroom growing up, and so there was we kept a camper and I just lived in the camper and so that's exactly what this is. And I put a box fan at a box fan I keep in there, I plug in, I run an extension cord. Though, because we were like six of us a n at house, so we has you know, got a lot of rooms. So I was like, okay, I don't have in the room. I'll go live in the camper. So I live in the camper and I run an extension cord out of the window, plug in the box fan, and then I have a business a cordless phone days have a cordless phone that have taken charge all day. Then I come home and take the cordless I'll take it out and the stay in the camper. But now you sleep, and then I mean I've seen picked up. You know, I know about your camper a little bit. But it was always like I have fun memories of that. It's not even a bad memory to me that that I lived in a camper for a year, Like that's a good memory to you. Because it was my own place, but they were my own walls. Yeah, after after after my divorce up, I'll live with a the guitar in one hand and a very small suitcase and the other I was still drinking. I just you know, it was like I just took light of fluid and sprayed it on my whole life and then let it on fire to see what, you know, height would turn out. And and I bounced around and lived in a little you know, one room houses here and there. Um, and there's something about though, you know. Um. I slept on the floor on a camping map for probably two or three weeks. And uh. And then I got a chair, and I'm so proud of that chair, you know. And every time I look at that chair, I you know, I kind of I got up off the ground and I and I figured out a way to make a couple of bucks and I bought that chair white and by bed first. I have no idea. I've still got that chair. It's my right and chair, you know. And then next thing, you know, I got a few pictures on the wall and starting to build a life. This album he's he's underdogs them, so we are a little more good to this one. Ye yeah, shine like stars we Are. That was totally an on purpose. Uh. It was an on purpose because uh I wanted to add some levity. I wanted to add some hope to this record because I knew, you know, people were well Frankly, I was getting tired of doing these sad songs every night. You know. I needed a breath of air, uh much. You know, I just assumed that anybody coming to the shows did as well. So so you know, pray for jungle Land underdogs guy like me, you know, faster upbeat, uh, happier songs. That's and that I hope, I hope it sounds like growth because you know, killing Uncle Buzzy was completely self indulgent, me just trying to dig out of a whole old ghosts and finished Business was just kind of me trying to beat anything but Uncle Buzzy. And this record was me actually thinking about other people and going, you know, here, here's a part of me, and I'm doing better and you know, um so it gets you got the heavy song sideways, you know, so I was still a you know, do some hard work, uh, some operating, but then you get to take a breath, you know, in between songs and yeah, just bob your head a little bit that I think this guy over here some of the songs, like let's say Church cut dark Side, there's albums why my dark Side? See how you feel when he cut that? We actually wrote that together. You know. It's interesting because a career, you know, I moved here to be a songwriter and it and it's not the best career decision to quit writing songs for Nashville and just start writing for me and making records that was not from the outside looking in, was not the smartest career move I could make, because a smarter man would have been writing songs and trying to get those people to record them. But it's not what I did. I started. I started writing these songs and and and and making records because it was survival and it was it was what I had to do. And Eric Church heard those records and even looked me and I and said, if you weren't making records, you wouldn't be on this bus, you know, because I don't want some Nashville songwriter on this bus. I want Travis Meadows on this bus. So that was a real affirmation that that I had made a good decision. You know, he's a great writer, godly man. That dude is a is a force of nature. A lot of times when you write with artists, you do the heavy lifting. Not so with Eric Man. He he told his own water, and he knows exactly what he wants to say, uh, which I admire. He knows exactly what he wants to say and how he wants to say it. And so you'll throw a line out and I, you know, but I'd say this and make it rhyme. So it's it's always a pleasure to write with him. And this one from Lindsay l I love that song, good one. And then the first time I heard it before she got it, she I was just like, man, like I could hear the her and I could hear the you. I was like, man, I had to hear both of you, like at the same time. I think, I like to think I should say that that if I'm not writing for me, that I can kind of ask enough questions and kind of get inside of their head and and and try to help them sort their thoughts. It's what what I felt like I was doing that day, was helping her sort her thoughts and make it rhyme, you know. But but you know, I didn't want it to be a Travis song. I wanted I wanted to meet, you know, getting inside of her head and help in her process so that she could get out to the world what she was trying to say. I love that song. She was a pleasure to work with you. I hope everybody checks out first cigare At. This is the song again. If you get chancey Travis, go to see him. I mean, I'm just a massive fan. Thank you guy. I'm a fan of yours as well, buddy up. I admire anybody that that has a tenacity to you know, to to go after life and just you know, just do it. And you're doing it. Man, it's a good thing. I'm trying to do it. I'm trying as hard as I can. Some days not right, yeah, those days not right, but the good days in the hand, you're like, this is why I'm doing Yeah, Yeah, that's really all that matters. Man. At the end of the day. You know, as long as you're trying, you're getting up and you know and trying. I feel like if you don't have that sense of of you know, momentum in your life, you know, you watch old guys they reach and then they retire, and they seemed like everybody that retires they die and die right after that. But but the old guys that just keep working, that they just live with really, Neilson, they just they just keep going, you know what I mean, they get nice, full lives and and so, you know, I think it's I think it's admirable finding something and going after it, and if you don't know exactly what you're going after, invent it. You know, it has been a pleasure. I appreciate you coming by and sharing your story, and I appreciate you making music more than any man, because like I've known you for ages. Actually the first time we've physically touched hands today, I feel like I've known you for ages. All Right, Travis Meadows, I encourage you to check out first Cigarette. I mean, listen, I I'll I still listen to a buzzy. I mean, just if you haven't heard it, go listen to go find them, go go to our shows all over But I see you driving around all the playing shows all over the place. Yeah, all right, that's the episode nine one here on the body Cast. Thank you