Getting Real with Lexi

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, welcome back to Beat your Happy Hour. I'm Joe and I'm Serena and we are here with Lexi from Joey Sincy. Hi Lexi, Hi Lexi.

00:00:10
Speaker 2: Hey guys, your hair looks so good. You get it done recently?

00:00:14
Speaker 3: Thank you.

00:00:14
Speaker 4: Yes, I actually just got it done when I came back. I talked about this on my Instagram. But I had a bit of a hair fiasco when I was in the mansion. Some reason my hair turned red, which you know, we love redheads, but like it was two red stripes at the front. So when I was on the show, luckily Jess had men's beard dye for her eyebrows and let me use it to color correct. So my hair is a lot darker on the show than it is usually. But it's a funny story.

00:00:48
Speaker 2: So I just went, oh, my god, use men's I didn't know. I have friends that dye their eyebrows, and usually they just use boxed hair dye. I've never heard of anyone using beard dye.

00:01:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, just for men.

00:01:01
Speaker 2: But I guess that would make sense because it is like hair on your face.

00:01:05
Speaker 3: Right right. So God blessed Jess for having that, and it was like dark, dark brown it's a funny story.

00:01:12
Speaker 2: Wait, why so I've heard of I've had friends who have gone blonde and then like hard water will make it look green. But I've never Are you a natural redhead? Was it like stripping your eyelights?

00:01:22
Speaker 3: Something was happening.

00:01:23
Speaker 4: I'm naturally pretty dark brown, so I think it was just like getting the highlights right before the show and then using the water out there.

00:01:30
Speaker 3: Or maybe I don't know. Something something happens that's good.

00:01:33
Speaker 2: Crazy, I would be freaking out. I can't beieve they couldn't get you like boxed hair dyed.

00:01:38
Speaker 3: You know it's a they tried their best.

00:01:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you had the beard dye, thank god?

00:01:43
Speaker 3: So thank god.

00:01:45
Speaker 1: You know my beard actually used to come in a little red. What Yeah, no, it does it now I have Now they come in Now they come in gray on my chant.

00:01:54
Speaker 2: Ottle salt and peppery. Yeah, well maybe you should head of Jess for her box beard died.

00:01:59
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would die my beard. I don't. I don't keep it long enough to die it.

00:02:03
Speaker 2: I feel like you have to have a significant amount of hair to be dying. Like I feel like it's for people who have a full beard.

00:02:08
Speaker 1: Why are you coming right now?

00:02:10
Speaker 2: What are you talking about coming? You say, I think it's people who have like a full gray beard. I want to dye it brown. So that's not great.

00:02:18
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just I'm going to lean into the salt and pepper.

00:02:21
Speaker 2: You should you lean in cult public and Lexi, you can stay away from you.

00:02:25
Speaker 1: Isn't about me though, Solexi, where do you live?

00:02:30
Speaker 3: I currently am in Atlanta, Georgia, col.

00:02:33
Speaker 1: And you you said on on one of these episodes that you moved to San Francisco for work and then you moved to New York. So what do you do and what what happened there?

00:02:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I've I've lived all over actually originally from Toronto.

00:02:50
Speaker 3: But I Toronto, I had to say, and I had to say it too Ontario.

00:02:58
Speaker 2: Oh nice.

00:03:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, So my family's all up there, my extended family, but we ultimately moved down to the States for my dad's job. So I ended up in Ohio for a while and then yeah, after school, moved out to San Francisco for work. I worked at the Gap when I was out there, but I work in digital marketing and digital strategy, so I work on their websites. I came down with a lot of illness when I was in San Francisco with my health and so ultimately made the decision to move back to New York to be closer to my family. And GAP also had a headquarters in New York, so it just made sense at the time. So yeah, that's how I ended up in the city.

00:03:37
Speaker 1: And do you still work for GAP now?

00:03:39
Speaker 3: I don't work for GAP now.

00:03:41
Speaker 4: I work for another large retail company in Atlanta doing the same type of work.

00:03:45
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:03:46
Speaker 1: Do you like Atlanta?

00:03:47
Speaker 3: I like Atlanta.

00:03:48
Speaker 4: It was a huge culture shock moving down here, like being originally from Canada and then living on both coasts. Moving to Atlanta was kind of crazy. It's super southern obviously, and then like everyone here gets married at like twenty two, so I was this like black sheet moving down here single at like twenty nine. So I like it, but it's different.

00:04:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, that San Francisco has an exact opposite, it makes me exact opposite. Literally, Yeah really might Okay? Cool? And how did you How did you get on The Bachelor?

00:04:22
Speaker 4: It's a bit of a long story, but long story short, I was originally supposed to go on and went through the casting process for Peter season.

00:04:29
Speaker 2: And so wow a few years.

00:04:32
Speaker 4: Yeah, which when I look back, I wouldn't have been ready to do that at that point in my life and age.

00:04:37
Speaker 3: So I'm so glad it happened when it did.

00:04:38
Speaker 4: But I had just had my endometriosis surgery, so it wasn't the right time for me with filming. And then I got in contact with a producer and they told me it was going to be Joey and I was like, this is so serendipitous, and I think he's such a great guy. I just turned thirty, like why not. So it's kind of crazy that Peter to Joey, like it's I don't know. The whole thing was very full circle, that.

00:05:03
Speaker 2: Is you hear you hear some stories like that, Like I think Caitlin Bristow was also something that was like in casting for someone's season, we had like almost on the show and then something happened or like she didn't get on and then gets onto another season. I just feel like it always falls the way it's supposed to exactly.

00:05:19
Speaker 1: I want to pronounce this correctly, so I don't son a fucking war on.

00:05:23
Speaker 2: But you could do it. I could do it.

00:05:26
Speaker 1: I could do this, okay, So when you talk about your endometriosis.

00:05:29
Speaker 3: You could say and I could just call it endo ye ye Okay.

00:05:34
Speaker 1: I love that, Okay, So not that I don't love it. But so when you had your ENDO surgery, how old were you?

00:05:43
Speaker 4: I had my surgery in twenty nineteen, so I just turned thirty. So yeah, I would have been twenty five twenty six, And so that was a time period for me that was crazy and like I said going on the show, it wouldn't have been possible, but so grateful that I did have the surgery when I was living in New York.

00:06:00
Speaker 2: What was the process like, because I know you said it took about a year and a half to have it diagnosed, which correct me wrong, but I believe that's not totally uncommon.

00:06:11
Speaker 3: No, you're yeah, you're exactly right. So really it was ten years of me like in pain and not knowing what was going on with my body. And then things got a lot worse when like the back half of San Francisco and when I moved to New York and I just started going to so many different doctors appointments, and like I was diagnosed with things I didn't even have, Like I was diagnosed with autoimmune disorders and taking medications for them, and I didn't have it, and I was turned away from that, so so crazy.

00:06:38
Speaker 4: Like women, on average, it takes ten years to get a diagnosis, per end of so like that's that was my timeline and it's so sad to hear that. And a lot of the times doctors will turn you to like a psychiatrist or almost make you believe that your pain is in your head because it has to be diagnosed surgically. So it's that even adds another like of complexity to get a diagnosis. So for me, it was a lot of being like turned away kind of given medication to treat me for something I didn't have. And then I even started to doubt my pain and I was like, is this even real?

00:07:13
Speaker 3: Is this something in my head? Just because I was shut down so many times.

00:07:17
Speaker 2: That's so frustrating and it's just so scary that you know you have to wait ten years to get diagnosial something that you're probably like, I could have been treating this ten years earlier. I can imagine too. By the time the surgery option comes around, It's like, on one hand, you're like, I'll do anything to figure out what's going on with me. But on the another you're probably like, I've had so many inaccurate diagnoses that diagnoses diagnosisis not diagnoses, you know what I meant, but that it's like, is this just going to be another dead end? Like it's it's got It must have been so emotionally and physically draining for you.

00:07:56
Speaker 3: It was.

00:07:56
Speaker 4: I remember walking into NYU that day, because you don't know until you wake up from the surgery if you have it or not, and I remember thinking do I want to have this or do I not? Like do you like it's a weird thing because like I've gone through ten years of pain and multiple years of going to appointments, and I felt like I finally kind of had an answer. This doctor had a really strong hunch I had it. But then I was like, wait a second, the reality of actually having it is a whole other thing to deal with, So I didn't. I didn't really even know how to feel, like am I going to be happy after this? Like if I go through the surgery and I don't have it, I'm just at another dead end.

00:08:32
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's really it plays with your mind.

00:08:36
Speaker 2: What has your journey like has. What has your journey been like since being diagnosed.

00:08:42
Speaker 3: It's it's been an uphill battle.

00:08:44
Speaker 4: If I'm being honest, I have, you know, good weeks and I have really bad weeks. I've been on so many different medications to try to get it into a place where it's controllable. I am at the point right now where they want me to have a second surgery. A lot of time women have two or three, but because I'm thirty, they want me to have it as close as possible to when I want to conceive. And the reason for that is because they go in and clean up all that tissue that's not supposed to be there, so it puts you in like an optimal state to have a child. That is really hard for me because the only solve is something I can't even do at this moment in time. And the reason they don't want you to have too many surgeries is because they cause a lot of scar tissue. And so just right now, I kind of feel like I'm being pushed into a corner of just having to power through the pain and make the most of it.

00:09:37
Speaker 3: But uh, it is challenging.

00:09:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's got to be such a hard decision because you're really I'm assuming like you're probably advised by doctors, but you have to probably make the decision evidably if you're going to have the surgery and then potentially you just have to have another surgery when you are ready to have children, or if you're going to power through the pain so that you don't have to have as many surgeries. Like, there's not a clear right answer there.

00:10:00
Speaker 3: There's not, And I just froze my eggs.

00:10:02
Speaker 4: Actually I had the surgery for that a few weeks before I went on the show, which, thank you, that came with a lot of its own issues, but that I'm trying my best to do everything I can to become a mother.

00:10:14
Speaker 3: That's what I've wanted my whole life. But yeah, you're exactly right.

00:10:18
Speaker 1: Do you feel like the medical field now today, in twenty twenty four is better detecting this opposed to ten years ago. Are we kind of in the same place of it's still very hard for it to get be detected in women? Yeah, it's still going through that.

00:10:37
Speaker 3: That's a great question.

00:10:39
Speaker 4: I would like to say that I would like to say the diagnosis process has gotten better.

00:10:43
Speaker 3: I don't think it has.

00:10:45
Speaker 4: I think what's gotten better is the technology to.

00:10:48
Speaker 3: Like an MRI.

00:10:49
Speaker 4: Now you can have where they can see if there's abnormalities. It can't diagnose it, but it can at least point in the direction that you might have something going on there, which gives woman more confidence to have a surgery. However, I still think like it's so I've posted on Instagram about my experience and I got I think almost like a thousand messages from women saying to me that I've had the exact same experience. I'm currently in the process of fighting for a diagnosis, Like I've gone to ten plus appointments. No one's taking me seriously, so it's not spoken about enough, and I don't I really don't think it's changed that much, which is disheartening.

00:11:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like, and I mean this is not endo, but I someone in my life has PCOS and they had a similar experience, where like there's a lot of women's health issues. I feel like that the story is connected to where it's like, it took me years for someone to finally diagnose me with this, and I was doing treatments that were actually like harming what I was like actually had and yes, yeah.

00:11:50
Speaker 4: Yes, I went through bladder installations, which is I don't need to get into the whole thing, but where they like put like an acidic thing like.

00:11:57
Speaker 3: Through your urethruck it.

00:11:59
Speaker 4: I was crying, screaming and pain because they thought I had a condition with my bladder, and like, I have nothing wrong with my bladder. And like the fact I went through that for six months, Like it's traumatic to me.

00:12:09
Speaker 3: So I have a lot of crazy Yeah.

00:12:13
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's just like the fact that doctor did it, like all of the above, it's it's scary.

00:12:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, a major flaw. Yeah, how does it affect you on a day to day scale?

00:12:23
Speaker 3: On a day to day scale, like it's so unpredictable.

00:12:26
Speaker 4: Some days I'll have flares and like I'll look four or five months pregnant from like swelling. Some days I'll have horrible or back pain. I mean, it hits me out of nowhere. I've become really good at managing it. So, I mean, I work a really demanding job, like I'm sitting at a desk all day. So I'm not going to lie like it comes with its challenges and I don't probably live the exact same life as someone who wouldn't be dealing with this, But I've gotten to a place now where, like I'm so strong mentally that I just pushed through. I like take really good care of my health. That helps to a degree, but it's one of those things that's it's never leaving my life. There's no cure, and so I've just learned how to like have a better attitude about it and like make the most of every day even though I have a little bit of a handicap.

00:13:10
Speaker 2: Is Stage five the most severe stage.

00:13:15
Speaker 4: So I actually so there's technically four stages of endo, and on the show, I said five, it's four and five are like five is kind of a new stage that they're talking about. For me, I had endo growing on my lung and so since it spread to like an organ outside of my pelvis, I'm kind of four or five. Stage four is technically the most severe phase within your pelvis, and that just means that, like there's a lot of adhesion, so like your uterus could be attached to both ovaries. There's a lot of large thiss and so even I like to preface though someone with stage one could have equal pain as someone as stage four, it's just how much the actual tissue has spread. It doesn't mean that you're like in more pain or life pain at a different stage.

00:14:02
Speaker 1: But if it gets detected at stage one, is it curable or is it like.

00:14:08
Speaker 3: It's it's not.

00:14:10
Speaker 4: But I do think you could take actions with like certain hormones and getting ahead of your surgery.

00:14:16
Speaker 3: Like for me, when they went in, it was so bad.

00:14:19
Speaker 4: Like I think if they had gone in maybe three years prior, like it wouldn't maybe have spread to my lung, Like maybe I wouldn't have had so many adhesions.

00:14:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, which, like that's another layer to it, I'm sure is like the fact that it takes so long means that it ends up being so much more severe in the women when it does get detected. Yeah, exactly, it's so frustrating. Okay, so yeah you get on the show. We lost track, but I'm glad we're talking about this. Obviously it was a big part of your one on one day, which we will touch on as well in this podcast and just talk more about you know, what it was like opening up to Joey about do you refer to it as a condition in what how do you do it?

00:15:02
Speaker 4: I always say, yeah, a condition disease. I think for me it's just something I deal with every day. But yeah, I opened up to him about my condition and how it impacts me.

00:15:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, gotcha. Okay, Well let's do I want?

00:15:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, you step out of the limo, How you feeling, What are your thoughts? What do you think about Joey is your type?

00:15:27
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:15:27
Speaker 4: I was so nervous obviously that whole day leading up to it, But when I stepped at the limo, I felt I know, it sounds so cheesy, but like I did feel immediately at ease because he has such a chill personality and like demeanor that as soon as I walked up to him, I kind of felt like I know about this guy, like this is our first date kind of I don't know, just felt very like an initial intro, not like oh I'm on the Bachelor, and there's all these cameras and lights, like it was really just the two of us in that moment.

00:15:56
Speaker 3: Very special. He was so kind. But then I walked in the house and I realized I was the first one, and so like that was a.

00:16:03
Speaker 4: Bit of a shock more than meeting Joey. I was like, oh, okay, that was I'm glad I knew that after.

00:16:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so interesting. I always because sometimes they'll show someone come out of the lemo, but they're not necessarily the first one that actually came out of the lemo. Yeah, like the little switch you through. But yeah, but I feel like that's exciting because you probably like, Okay, I'm the first girl in his mind tonight, which is kind of cool. But I also would have been happy to not know that.

00:16:35
Speaker 4: Before saying I'm so glad they didn't tell me before, because I think I would have been like, I got to really pull it together, like he's been waiting for this for months, like I gotta.

00:16:43
Speaker 3: I don't even know. I don't know. It's for the.

00:16:45
Speaker 2: Best, for the best. So how does night one go? I know, it's like the longest night ever, but we get to talk to him.

00:16:52
Speaker 4: You guys know, it's a long night. I mean I didn't anticipate it being that long, so it was. It was a long night. I got really lucky and got to talk to him. Not everyone did, so I was fortunate for that. I gave him a ball marker from the golf course my dad and I play in Hill and Head, so he seemed excited that I golfed, and yeah, we had a good talk.

00:17:12
Speaker 3: We kissed, which I was not expecting.

00:17:14
Speaker 4: Like all my friends back at home were like, what this kind of off brand for me. I'm a little like stand offish until I trust someone. But I guess the trust that was already kind of there. I just felt safe around him. But yeah, night when there was stuff going on, but I kind of just kept to myself and was nervous for the roast ceremony. But I felt good about our talk.

00:17:35
Speaker 2: Nice, feel like that's like all you can ask for out of night, Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

00:17:40
Speaker 1: And then before so before currently you get your one on one what's your connection? Like are you are you able to spend any time with Joey? How's it going?

00:17:51
Speaker 3: Yeah? It was going well.

00:17:52
Speaker 4: I got to talk to him at the talent show a little bit before we went out or excuse me, the pageant, and I got to talk to him that evening.

00:18:01
Speaker 2: So yeah, let's talk about the paget because missus right, Oh my god.

00:18:05
Speaker 3: Yeah that was so Yeah, I did I did, I should. Yeah.

00:18:11
Speaker 2: There was a little animosity surrounding the kiss.

00:18:15
Speaker 4: How the kiss heard around the world. Yeah, there was some animosity for sure, which I'm so conflict adverse, Like I was like, it's fine, like someone else take the crown, Like all good. I understand, you know, I think some girls poured their heart and soul. They were doing flips and cartwheels and singing, and I mean, they're all so talented. I just stood there, but I was trying to think of something that I could do to show him I do come out of my shell and like I am fun and bubbly. I'm not this like super quiet, serious, reserved person.

00:18:48
Speaker 3: I think because I was nervous. That's how I had been coming across. So I was like, let's do it. Why not? You know, I took a tequila shot before, but I did it. No.

00:18:58
Speaker 2: I liked it. I liked that your talent incorporated him into it. I think that's always nice to like get him involved. And like I said, when we were capping, and I was like, you know what, sometimes you gotta work smarter, not harder. Just because she wasn't upside down doesn't mean she didn't have a good talent.

00:19:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, the other girls did great, so we all it was fun.

00:19:19
Speaker 2: Did you do you have like a favorite group date activity like that you've done up until this point?

00:19:26
Speaker 4: Up until this point, I think the wedding was fun because one, I've just never thought i'd be in a wedding dress before my wedding day. And then we all got to have individual time with him to work the room. At the reception, they didn't show everyone's but that was like our second time actually talking and it felt comfortable because it was just the two of us, like walking around, we went to the bar. So I thought the wedding was fun, that the pageant was really out of my comfort zone, and then there was more group dates that were a little more my speed further through this season.

00:19:56
Speaker 2: Nice. Yeah, the pageant, the gimmicky ones are always a little more awkward.

00:20:01
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's I'm just like, oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm definitely an awkward person, So like being in that environment just like an answer.

00:20:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's it's tough.

00:20:12
Speaker 4: But I give those date planners credit because they always they come together so well. But in the moment, you're kind of like, all right, we're doing this, but then you see it and you're like, this is awesome.

00:20:22
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:20:22
Speaker 2: So we get to Malta and you get your one on one date with Joey, were you like, did you have a sense that like maybe it was going to be you that week, like your time was maybe coming or were you totally surprised.

00:20:38
Speaker 4: Well, there's there's two pieces to this story. So the first one is my luggage was lost. Upon arriving in Malta, I was like, look, Joey's amazing. I want to be on a date this week. Just whatever you do, do not put me on a date tomorrow. Like I don't have any of my stuff. I was the only girl. It's just very like of course, uh and so's it was funny when they called my name. I was like, you know, I was really excited, and they ended up finding my luggage, so it all worked out. But it was just like I wasn't really prepared for at the night before because of that conversation. So like I didn't like, I didn't self tan, I didn't take a shower, like little things that I would do if I knew I was having gome on on one.

00:21:16
Speaker 3: But as soon as.

00:21:17
Speaker 4: I like got there with Joey, I was like, this is I mean, it was the best day ever.

00:21:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it looks that's actually funny. On on my season, Michelle Young, they she lost a piece of luggage and like was never to be found, like it wasn't. It wasn't the show, like the airline lost her luggage and she never found it, and she was like borrowing her roommate Ryan's clothes like the whole season because I think like the one that she lost was like all her clothes and jewelry, and like the one that she had was like toilet trees and like shoes and stuff. So she's like, I'm screwed, but I'm very glad that they found your luggage. But that is funny because it's like the one time you're like I don't want to date tomorrow is the time that you're like, okay, I guess on the dates.

00:22:01
Speaker 4: Just how life works out and on you know. It was it was truly like I will remember that day for the rest of my life. It was so fun, Like I got to do the walking tour and I travel a lot, so like getting to actually like walk around the city and see Malta. It was it was just casual and fun, like it didn't feel like we were on a bachelor date.

00:22:22
Speaker 2: Yeah. I always say like those are the best dates, like just the ones that are the most organic. What was it like being in that church? I know, you kind of talked about your grandfather, Yeah, and you got to interact with Yeah.

00:22:35
Speaker 3: So it was emotional. It was really emotional.

00:22:38
Speaker 4: It was I think being away from you, you know this, like being away from your whole family, and then like just your emotions are high and then you know, I was in the church and I went to church with my grandfather growing up, and he had passed away recently, and because of COVID, I wasn't able to go to the funeral, and just there was so many emotions that just hit me at once. I felt like I hadn't been in a church like that since I was with him, And it was just a really full circle moment because he always said he wanted to meet my person, and like we both golfed together, like we were just so close, and like that was at the end of the day and so like that being kind of how we closed out the date and just everything going so well with Joey, I just felt like I was really supposed to be there in that moment.

00:23:18
Speaker 3: Uh. It was. Yeah, it was very special.

00:23:20
Speaker 4: And then the priest came over and talked to us about what makes a healthy marriage and talked about a couple that he's married in the church and yeah, he just gave us some advice and it was Yeah, it was it was beautiful.

00:23:32
Speaker 3: I'm excited to watch that back.

00:23:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, are you starting to feel like Joey could be your person? Is that happening yet?

00:23:42
Speaker 3: Yeah? For sure, I think.

00:23:43
Speaker 4: I mean I was definitely starting to think like, oh, okay, this is like I'm not just on here, you know, to meet someone and see if there's something there. Like I'm like, the something there is there. It's just a matter of like kind of getting down, like opening up with a big thing for me that night, Like I wanted to open up about my health with him because I wanted to make sure like that wasn't something that you know, he wouldn't want to that could affect his decision with me. So at that point, I was like, the feelings are there. I just think we need to kind of figure out under the covers, like our values, what we want long term in our timelines. Timelines was a huge thing for me.

00:24:22
Speaker 1: Yeah we we we see you mentioned and we definitely don't have to go there if you're uncomfortable talking about it. But your past with your acts of it being an issue for him, do you want to talk about that at all.

00:24:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can touch on it.

00:24:38
Speaker 4: I think, you know, for him, my health did was ultimately something that impacted the end of our relationship. I think he saw it as I would never say a burden, but you know, just something that would potentially affect you know, us being able to have a family long term or you know, my ability to be a mother, like I'm not always is one hundred percent every day, And so for him, he saw that as sometimes a challenge, which you can imagine on my side, like is really difficult because you know, when we broke up, like hearing from multiple people that it was like he just wasn't sure he could handle your health condition, He wasn't sure that he could support you in the way that you need to be supported. And for me it was very much like, but I mean, I do a really good job at like holding my pain in and not showing it outwardly. So I'm already self conscious about this, and to hear it was like one of the deciding factors to ultimately not move towards a marriage with me, like has made me not want to open up about any of this with another person.

00:25:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can imagine that being on TV opening up to Joey this new relationship about your endo is already scary, and then to have that added layer of like, well, the last time I did this, it ended the relationship. Yeah, is just a whole other life of like anxiety exactly.

00:26:03
Speaker 4: I mean, you said it perfectly, but I felt I had to because on the show, you have such limited time, and so I wanted to be fair to Joey. And if it's Joey was never going to go in and say like I don't want to be with you because you can't have kids. That's not the That's not the conversation that we were having. It was more like, hey, I'm dealing with x Y and Z. I might be on a little bit more of an expedited timeline than some of these other girls that are here because of x Y and Z. Like how does that make you feel? And I genuinely wanted his reaction because it's okay if he wants, you know, five to seven years before kids. And I'm not saying that's what he said, but like his emotions and reaction are valid, and I would rather have that early on than like drag out a connection and then it come up later that to me wouldn't be fair to him totally.

00:26:50
Speaker 2: That totally makes sense because if he were to say, like I'm not ready to have kids, I don't want a family for ten years, or like I don't I mean, we know he wants kids, but like, it's a serious conversation to have and it's one that you know you have added layers to add to. So how did that conversation go? Like, obviously you did an amazing job of expressing yourself, he saw. How did it feel, you know, hearing Joe's response.

00:27:15
Speaker 4: Hearing Joe's response was well, like probably forever changed my perception on opening up about this in my life and my story and my health and relationships. He I mean, he brought me to tears that night. It was he was so genuine and sincere and such a good listener.

00:27:33
Speaker 3: I felt heard. I didn't feel judged or like analyzed.

00:27:39
Speaker 4: I felt like he was really just listening to me and empathetic to what I went through. He related to me in many ways in his own personal life, and he was like, look, that's not an issue for me. Like I think with the right person, whoever that is for him, that they would figure it out. And you know that could be through things like adopt or you know, surrogacy whatever. That looks like kids are important to him as well, but that's not going to be detrimental to his choice and moving.

00:28:09
Speaker 3: Forward with me. And yeah, he was just he was so kind that night and it was it was really beautiful.

00:28:16
Speaker 2: That's amazing. Yeah, I feel like he's really demonstrated.

00:28:19
Speaker 1: Like we said, he's the he's the best receiver joke.

00:28:22
Speaker 2: He's like, he's an amazing receiver.

00:28:25
Speaker 4: He he's an incredible he's also he's such a good listener and he's yeah, he's he's he was raised well like he is, but you know what it is, he's just a kind person. So he actually cares because you'll talk to some people and it's like you can tell they're registering it, but like kind of fifty percent and fifty percent out, Like he was locked in. I mean, he was listening to me. And in a situation like that, it's so important.

00:28:49
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:28:50
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's let's jump a little bit too. Yeah, your thoughts on the Maria fiasco and why we want I want your opinion on two situations, but the first one, what were your thoughts on just the Maria in Sydney of it all.

00:29:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we also know that you were the only one there before they went on to them, because everyone else is on the group day.

00:29:16
Speaker 1: I forgot.

00:29:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess, yeah, I can start.

00:29:19
Speaker 4: My initial thoughts were back at the mansion is where I think that conversation should have been left. I think, you know, everyone's emotions and feelings are valid, Medina's were valid. At the mansion, Sidney was trying to stand up for her friend, and Maria was trying to, you know, advocate for herself and say, hey, I did not bring this up in any way, shape or form to hurt someone. I brought this up just because I wanted to know who was talking and kind of you know, clear her name in the situation, because she didn't mean her come in a mean way. There was no bad intentions there. It's hard. I really think this dragged on for too long. It took away time from a lot of girls that had also their own beautiful stories to tell, and so I wish it was left at the mansion.

00:30:03
Speaker 3: I think it.

00:30:04
Speaker 4: I think the initial conversation could have just been squashed, but it continued on, obviously right to Malta in Spain and and throughout the season and that day that it was just the three of us, Like you could cut the tension with a knife. I mean you could just tell, like tensions are high, they're going on a two on one. They're fully aware of what that comes with, right, Like I think the date card that I got, of course me had to read it was like one rows, two girls, one stay as one goes, And I was like, I was even just like I got to go to my room, like.

00:30:37
Speaker 2: Here's the card, how do we get that down?

00:30:39
Speaker 3: I like toss that out the window at the hotel. But yeah, it was it was.

00:30:45
Speaker 4: I I did sit down with both of them, both of their you know, they they were they were stressed.

00:30:50
Speaker 1: Who do if you had to put money on it before they went on that date, who did you think was coming back?

00:30:56
Speaker 2: That's a good question.

00:30:57
Speaker 3: That is a good question.

00:30:58
Speaker 4: I think based on what I saw, I thought Maria and Joey had a stronger connection. I was on both group dates with Maria.

00:31:07
Speaker 3: I was on one group date with Sydney and she didn't have one the first week, So I just thought I could always tell there was something there between Joey and Maria. Like I tell by the way he looked at her. I think he was intrigued by.

00:31:19
Speaker 4: Her personality, like she is very outgoing, So I kind of thought, if it was solely based on connection, Maria was going to come back.

00:31:26
Speaker 2: We saw when Sydney's suitcase gets pulled Leah Jess. I'm sure there was a few other people, but those were the two main ones. I remember were very surprised that Sidney was going home. Where do you think their shot came from? Do you think it was like wishful thinking or do you think you know?

00:31:48
Speaker 4: I think it was rooted in the fact that they have their own perception of this.

00:31:52
Speaker 3: They're very close to Sidney.

00:31:53
Speaker 4: They were you know, when you're on this experience, you form strong relationships because it's so unique, and they were, you know, really good friends with her, and they heard her side of the story, and they weren't as close to Maria.

00:32:06
Speaker 3: So I think it was twofold.

00:32:08
Speaker 4: I think it was oh, Maria's still staying like they were upset about that, and then I think it was also like we're losing our friend here.

00:32:16
Speaker 3: But that night was hard.

00:32:17
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm not gonna lie like I've since had a conversation with Maria and apologize to her because I wish I spoke up that night and it's like, you know, you go through this, everyone has their like regrets. But when she walked in, it was silent, and I wish that I had said, like, look, today must have been hard for both of you, but like, I'm proud of you forgetting the rose, and like I I know Joey made that decision for a reason. She didn't deserve to walk into a silent room, like that wasn't fair to her.

00:32:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I can imagine that would have been super horrible.

00:32:53
Speaker 1: Everyone's like yeah, because then you walk in and you you're kind of on this a little bit of a high because at least you're still there and he gives you a rose, and then everybody's.

00:33:02
Speaker 3: Like, oh, guys, it was bad. Like it was bad, but like it was, it was bad. It was bad. It was quiet. It was because you know, she didn't do anything wrong.

00:33:10
Speaker 4: She was she's also dating Joey, so he made the choice and she came back and she didn't deserve to walk into that.

00:33:16
Speaker 2: So but then we do see Leyah, the Leyah Jess call calling her Maria bitch and all, well, I was going to refer to Leah pulled Medina aside and said, like, you were so nice to her when she came in. Was that like later in the night then, like do you think Medina maybe had those same feelings you did? Of like that was really awkward, Like I'm gonna go say something to Maria, just basically saying like hey, happy you're back, you look great, like hope your hope your day was good.

00:33:53
Speaker 4: Here's the thing, like, yes, she brought up the initial comment so people could say, like, why is she not still involved? But her and Maria said so at the end of the day at that point, she was not involved anymore. I think that the description or maybe what was mis confused was like Leah and Sidney were so close, so I think Leyah was standing up for her friend, but Medina didn't really do anything wrong, like she were allowed to be friends with multiple people right across different groups, Like that's inevitable with thirty two women. So I just again it was kind of like why are we still dragging this on in Spain?

00:34:27
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, totally, who are your friends in the house.

00:34:31
Speaker 4: I was really good friends with Kelsey A. She's an amazing human. I think Madina's great Maria, the sisters, Evelyn, Chrisa. I mean, I could go on like just Daisy's wonderful, but you know, I think obviously you gravitate to certain people, and like Kelsey A, Caitlin, Medina and I were definitely the closest.

00:34:53
Speaker 2: Nice I do want to jump back to what you were asking, which was which was what is your take on the blow up between Jess and Maria.

00:35:05
Speaker 4: It was crazy to watch, and I think there was a lot of built up emotion. You know, everyone gets that, like it's a pent up anger that's like week after week after week. And like in Malta, Sinney went home and Jess and Sidney were such good friends, are such good friends, and you know, I think Jess and Maria like you can go back to kind of night one, right when Jess kissed him twice, like there's been like people kind of poking the bear, and I think in Spain it finally just erupted and Jets obviously called Maria a name, and you know, I don't think that was warranted at all, and I do think that they've they had the opportunity to talk that night, but it was it was crazy, It was very explosive.

00:35:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say I feel like as much as there was a lot of Sydney Maria confrontation, that was like the most heated moment I've seen, Like there was a lot of emotion behind that one. We do see you like console Maria when she's kind of trying, yeah, to leave with the Leyah drama. You just say, you know, it's okay. You've been like pushed and pushed and pushed, so like it's okay that you're having a moment. And then we see you make a comment in regards to the Jess and Maria argument where you say, you know, I think there might be some jealousy on Jess's side. Do you think that Maria now getting this attention and reassurance from Joey kind of rubbed some people the wrong way, especially maybe the girls that were friends with Sidney.

00:36:29
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:36:29
Speaker 4: Look, I mean, I'm thirty, I'm confident in who I am. If I was on this twenty four, i'd be jealous of Maria too, Like she's so confident, she's stunning, Like she's seemingly good at everything. The girls like doing like you know, backflips across the stage, like she's hilarious. I mean, right, it's intimidating to be in a room with someone like that. I'm not I don't know if if it was jealousy with Jess or if it was more just like the personal uh feeling like personally attacked as her best friend went home because of an output of Maria's action. But I do think, yeah, I think that some of the younger girls in the house, which I hate to say that because this whole season feels like it's been about age, but like, I think someone at twenty four and someone at thirty one are in a different phase of life, and I think sometimes there might have been some jealousy there just seeing how strong of a connection Marian and Joey had.

00:37:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

00:37:22
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:37:23
Speaker 1: Was it at least entertaining? I mean, because you guys don't have anything to do.

00:37:27
Speaker 3: You guys, I was just eating charcuterie and having sangria, which was.

00:37:32
Speaker 2: Great and as you should in Spain, sounds.

00:37:35
Speaker 3: Terrible, but yeah, I was. I was. I wasn't like entertained by people feeling sad, but I was like, it's crazy.

00:37:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I get it out of the two places so far that you traveled to. Which one do you favor? Spain?

00:37:53
Speaker 3: Well, I love, I love Spain. I took Spanish all through college and like, I love the culture. But if I'm thinking about just like the experience there Malta.

00:38:01
Speaker 4: Because of the date, the one on one, I got to see so much of Malta. When Jesse told us Malta, I don't I don't know if it was dumb or like, I just didn't know where that was.

00:38:09
Speaker 1: I was just going to ask you that because like I feel like no one has even heard of it.

00:38:14
Speaker 2: I was like, is it a country? Is it a city? Like where is it located?

00:38:19
Speaker 3: I was like, are we going to Asia? Like I didn't know?

00:38:22
Speaker 4: And so I he said international and like I hate flying. It was the whole thing I was taking in a lot in that moment. But the fifteen hours to Turkey was like I thought we were going to Nashville.

00:38:32
Speaker 3: The rumor in the house was we were going to Nashville. So like I really had to like shift my mind, like, oh no, We're going to Turkey. Like anyways, I loved Malta. It's beautiful.

00:38:42
Speaker 4: It's right below the boot in Sicily, and I feel like, I mean, it was a dream.

00:38:46
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:38:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, I saw when Maria when they were on there too, and when Maria was like, we're only a thirty minute boat ride from Sicily, I'm like, oh that's kind of cool. Like yeah, it's like maybe we'll go to Sicily and then we'll go to Malta.

00:38:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys should go.

00:38:59
Speaker 2: Okay, we are going to get into a game with you before we let you go. It's super it's rapid fire. It's just like all easy, fun questions about you and yeah, you ready, I guess, let's do it. Okay. What is your go to breakfast?

00:39:16
Speaker 4: Go to breakfast is probably an Osi you bowl. I love them. I like make one every morning.

00:39:21
Speaker 2: You make it at home?

00:39:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do.

00:39:23
Speaker 4: I used to buy them, but they're like twenty dollars eat, so I was like, this is not fiscally responsible. So I get the little package and whole foods and like you know, like for the granola and some fruit.

00:39:32
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. So yeah, what is your favorite color to wear?

00:39:37
Speaker 3: Green?

00:39:38
Speaker 2: Which I mean perfect do green eyes?

00:39:41
Speaker 3: They're like green blue. I don't know, it changed, it kind of changed with my emotions. Sometimes people would say that like if I cry, they get more green and then if I'm so interesting.

00:39:50
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it's like a Disney character. What's your favorite season?

00:39:56
Speaker 4: My favorite season, I mean typical answer, but fall. Love the fall and everything that comes with it. Halloween is my favorite holiday.

00:40:04
Speaker 2: Halloween to be your holiday.

00:40:06
Speaker 3: I love Halloween. I know that's so retroversial. It is rare.

00:40:10
Speaker 4: I just I love like spooky things. And I know it's like leading up to Thanksgiving.

00:40:15
Speaker 2: I don't know, I love is that weird? I just feel like, yeah, I.

00:40:21
Speaker 1: Just don't like dressing I just don't like dressing up. But I love the idea, you know.

00:40:25
Speaker 2: Spooky season. Yeah, I love like we'll get like fall candles.

00:40:28
Speaker 4: Like yeah, like passing out candy, like you know, Christmas is on its way. Yeah, it's a good time.

00:40:33
Speaker 2: What is a big green flag for you?

00:40:37
Speaker 3: Good relationship with their family?

00:40:40
Speaker 2: What a relationship deal breaker for you?

00:40:45
Speaker 3: A relationship deal breaker would be someone who.

00:40:50
Speaker 4: Cheats, for sure, or someone who's not driven in their career or I shouldn't even say their career, but like not passionate about what they're doing in their life.

00:40:59
Speaker 2: What's your dream vacation destination.

00:41:02
Speaker 3: I want to go to Japan so badly.

00:41:05
Speaker 2: We are saying maybe this we might go Joe's bend.

00:41:08
Speaker 1: Ben It's amazing, Is it amazing? Yeah, we want to try to go this year.

00:41:13
Speaker 3: You guys have to tish.

00:41:16
Speaker 2: We'll see, we'll see if it happens. I'm hoping it, cross my fingers. What's one thing on your bucket list?

00:41:24
Speaker 4: I think on the bucket list would be I really want to run like a marathon or a triathlon, just because when I was originally diagnosed with like all my health stuff, they were like, you probably won't be able to do like extreme sports or anything that's really hard on your body anymore, which like growing up playing sports that was devastating for me to hear.

00:41:42
Speaker 3: And I kind of want to prove my doctor's wrong and.

00:41:44
Speaker 4: Be like, even though I like because it's a long time and heard on your body, so they're worried it might like exasperate my symptoms or make me feel like a lot worse with my back. So I kind of want to like run one and then give my doctor, like my like bib to put in their off.

00:41:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should do it the city if you if you could run it anywhere, were would you want to run?

00:42:03
Speaker 3: Probably New York?

00:42:05
Speaker 2: Joe did the New York Marathon this past night.

00:42:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was it's they say it's they it's I didn't know that. They say New York's one of the harder courses. Yeah, but yeah, it was very rewarding. I did on the right under four hours, so it was three three fifty eight, three fifty eight.

00:42:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I did not run it.

00:42:25
Speaker 3: I didn't.

00:42:27
Speaker 2: No, I told one of the signs I did. I had a sign that said run joe Run, I love it. What is Oh? Do you have any tattoos?

00:42:36
Speaker 3: I do not, but I'm not a post to them. I just haven't found the right thing. Yeah.

00:42:41
Speaker 2: What's your favorite physical quality of Joey's physical quality?

00:42:46
Speaker 3: His eyes?

00:42:47
Speaker 4: I feel like everyone probably says that, but not even just since the color, like they're very kind.

00:42:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is your or who is your go to when you need advice?

00:42:57
Speaker 4: My best friend again we she was my first friend and when I reached the United States and she's more like a sister.

00:43:03
Speaker 2: What is your favorite beauty product? At the moment, I know, I'm struggling to read them, like, wait, what is this?

00:43:11
Speaker 4: So I know the answer to this one the Elf lip oil because on the show, all the girls use the dr one, but it's so expensive and I just can't justify that. So the Elf one's like nine dollars and it's amazing.

00:43:23
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's a good due.

00:43:24
Speaker 3: To do, not to do a product placement.

00:43:26
Speaker 2: No, let me.

00:43:27
Speaker 1: See, I love Elf is blown up because of that.

00:43:32
Speaker 2: Yes, because the Oil Good Job Joe podcast we're just talking about the other day of Clarence has a good a good dupe for it as well. What is your favorite memory of your time on the show.

00:43:47
Speaker 3: My favorite memory is would be the dinner with Joey.

00:43:50
Speaker 4: It was one just like an incredibly beautiful setting and then it was something like it was something I didn't even know its possible to have in a relationship, like his reaction really changing how I view dating and myself.

00:44:02
Speaker 2: That's amazing. And then to end it off, can you give us a teaser for what's to come this season?

00:44:10
Speaker 4: I think what's to come this season? I think, you know, obviously it's a very romantic season. I think Joey has an incredible cast of women, so there's going to be stronger relationships starting to form, and I think with that comes heightened emotions.

00:44:24
Speaker 3: Obviously some drama.

00:44:25
Speaker 4: You know, that's continuing from previous episodes, but I really think the rest of the season is just going to focus on the love stories. And yeah, I'm just hopeful that Joey, he's very deserving to find his person, and hopeful every hopefully everyone gets to watch that come to life.

00:44:40
Speaker 1: Nice, amazing, LEXI, thank you so much for coming on beat your Happy Hour.

00:44:45
Speaker 3: Thank you guys for having me.

00:44:46
Speaker 1: Of course, thank you to all our listeners for joining us.

00:44:50
Speaker 2: And of course a big thank you to our listeners. Make sure to subscribe, but we have new episodes of Happy Hour every single week, with exclusive interviews and episode recaps all season long. Thanks for listening.

00:45:02
Speaker 1: Bye bye

00:45:06
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.