Be Firm but Fair | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank you so much for coming to join us again. Kathy and I are so excited to be back.

00:00:16
Speaker 2: Always excited to be back. We've had a great week. Spring has sprung. I was telling you earlier, Susan, I'm having my house spit shine for the spring. I mean, I'm not here, I'm having things.

00:00:29
Speaker 1: Isn't it a great feeling?

00:00:30
Speaker 2: It is like the guy that's doing he's powerwashing my deck. He's staining, restaining in my deck. He was up there cleaning the ceiling fan. He goes, when was the last time this ceiling fan was clean. I said, I've lived in this house seventeen years. He goes, when was the last time was clean? I said, seventeen years ago.

00:00:45
Speaker 1: You're cleaning. Lady doesn't do that.

00:00:47
Speaker 2: The ceiling fan outside on the porch outside, it's a ceiling fan on my on my covered porch. So no, she doesn't.

00:00:55
Speaker 1: Because I was going to say, why is he in the house, because what oh no, no, no, he's powerwashing.

00:01:01
Speaker 2: And then come yeah, now we're not power washing in the house. However, can I just say by PSA for today is when you powerwash your house and near the windows. Unless you have hermetically sealed windows, you better be falling around with a towel because there's gonna be water on your floor. Okay, today, not only we talk about spring cleaning, but we're going to be answering some of your fan questions. So make sure you're submitting those. We love reading them, we love answering them, we love thinking about them. All you have to do is go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour submit away.

00:01:33
Speaker 1: Yes, ma'am, because that's what we're here for. We love giving advice, we love your questions, and we especially love the updates all of it. You can also dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:01:46
Speaker 2: Okay, today we're gonna have fun. We're getting into the episode. We're gonna start with the question of the day and I got to tell you, Susan, this is not an easy one for me to answer some hoping you'll carry it on this one. Okay, ready for the question. Okay, was there ever a time that you received some tough love? How did you react? And looking back, do you feel differently about it?

00:02:12
Speaker 1: I honestly remember, before we touched on the tough love, I had to give tough love, and it's the fardest thing I've ever done. But I don't think i've received, have you.

00:02:25
Speaker 2: Well, I'm I I don't know. I mean, I'm such a rule follower, you know, I don't break rules very often, so you know, tough love to me. I didn't cheat in school. I've never didn't. I don't not a thief, I don't steal. So no, I don't really think i've.

00:02:48
Speaker 1: How about people out there listening, Yeah, we'd like to.

00:02:51
Speaker 2: Hear, because you know what, as it's when we have children, which you and I both do, we've had to We've had to exert tough love on our kids. But I think as you get older, you know, again, if somebody cheated on somebody, you get divorced, I mean that's tough love.

00:03:09
Speaker 1: Well, I guess yeah.

00:03:11
Speaker 2: But or if you painful, Yeah, I mean those are painful things. But as an adult, I would hope that you're not having that. We're not having tough love.

00:03:22
Speaker 1: Nobody's given me tough love.

00:03:24
Speaker 2: I hey, listen, I just want love. I don't need tough love.

00:03:27
Speaker 1: I just want real, be real.

00:03:30
Speaker 2: Let's be real. Was there ever a time that I received some tough love note, Am I ready for love? Yes? That's I mean, I don't know what else to say about that.

00:03:38
Speaker 1: I know that's a tough one. That's a tough one because I don't recall like, well, like you're getting a divorce and tough love is you got to accept it and move on things like that.

00:03:50
Speaker 2: But I mean, I think it's hard. We both talked about tough love for head to do kids, and that's always that's when parenting that was the most That's when you're wondering, why the hell did I have kids?

00:04:03
Speaker 1: Like that is not recommend it having kids. No, given tough love.

00:04:09
Speaker 2: You don't want tough love.

00:04:10
Speaker 1: It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

00:04:13
Speaker 2: But you don't recommend it.

00:04:14
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not easy. You have to it changed. It works. Let's just say that.

00:04:21
Speaker 2: I mean, but it might be.

00:04:22
Speaker 1: The hardest thing you ever do, especially with somebody that you love so much.

00:04:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it has to be consistent, like you can't you can't go back once you've taken that step.

00:04:31
Speaker 1: You have to stand firm.

00:04:33
Speaker 2: I wonder if so, here's the question Folks write in and tell us, like raising kids, we're doing our own Question of the day here.

00:04:41
Speaker 1: Raising kids so hard and you want to be fun and you want to be their friend, but you can't. You're a parent.

00:04:49
Speaker 2: You're not, and you're not even when they get older, like and by older, I mean in their thirties, and especially when they start having kids, then it becomes like a friendship. But it's not. It's you know, people think when they have a baby, oh, it's going to be so fun and so no, it's it's there's great times, but man, it's hard.

00:05:08
Speaker 1: There's moments. There's moments as a grandmom though, driving down with Stella who just turned four, and then my other granddaughter turned four, we went for her birthday, and they love each other. Watching those moments. Yeah, it's precious.

00:05:23
Speaker 2: They don't see each other that much though, right or do.

00:05:25
Speaker 1: They as often as we can every few months.

00:05:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so cute. I mean that's the other thing, love each other. Yeah, and family, getting family together is so important. I love it. In fact, you know what I'm doing this summer. I am going to Canada with all my kids and my two grandchildren. Yep, we're doing it the summer. We're going in July and in July and they're all going and it's going to be my nephews, two daughters, and my kids like they're all because we made a priority to make sure that the cousins got to get down their reunion. Yeah, and now it's the next generation of the kids. So I'm really excited.

00:06:08
Speaker 1: It's awesome. That's awesome.

00:06:09
Speaker 2: So that's my tough love taking my kids to Canada. All right, you ready to do our fan question? Go for it.

00:06:16
Speaker 1: Let's get into our fan questions for today. I'm gonna go ahead and read the first one, and it is from an anonymous Hi, ladies, I'm sorry this question is kind of tough, but I really need your advice. I'm a father to three children, ten, fourteen, and sixteen, and I think I regret having children. I am active in their lives along with my wife, Slash, their mom, and I do love them, but I really wish I could go back in time and not have kids. Wow. I just don't feel like myself anymore, and my entire identity has become a parent. I don't feel like I connect with my children, and I just really feel dead and stressed about it. Is there anything I can do to feel better? Can you ever grow out of this regret?

00:07:08
Speaker 2: Wow. You know what, I think. We have no idea because it's anonymous, but I'm guessing, Susan that this dad is reaching middle age and it's about he's.

00:07:22
Speaker 1: Not a good identity.

00:07:24
Speaker 2: I think others he's regretting the things maybe that he hasn't done in his life, and he's saying, you know, the kids kept me from that's in his head what he's thinking. I'm guessing this is more about hitting middle age and what he couldn't do and what he has. You know, how much time does he have left? And you know, I hate to say this, but I had a lot of friends, not a lot of friends, but some of my friends who went through divorces between forty and fifty for exactly this reason. They felt like life was passing them by. They had all they had done was go from changing diapers to driving the Little League to worry about now. And so I think that's more. I think it's anonymous. I feel sorry that you feel that way. I'd reach out and get some counseling.

00:08:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you might need something? Yes? And not only that, I feel like women feel this way, not when they're ten, fourteen, and sixteen, when they're born after the first year, because we do lose our identity. We are a mom, We are responsible for these little human beings there ares. That's why people still suffer in their marriage, with their sex life and they're dating again. It's about the kids. It's not about you anymore. Just to take a shower mint the world to me, you know, I had twins with a three year old. That was like, what about me? There was no time for me. Dad seems like he's hands on with these kids. But he's having regrets because he should be living right now. And you know what, you will grow out of this regret. You will. You're going to be very proud of what you raised. Soon get another few more years ago.

00:09:07
Speaker 2: But I take issue with that, Susan. I don't feel like I ever lost my identity. I loved being a mom. I loved taking care of my kids. I loved being a stay at home mom, and I was grateful that I could my husband, you know, we could manage it, that I could stay home. What was hardest for me was when my kids left home, because then it was like my identity was taking care of my children, being a good mom, trying to be a good wife, all those things. But then when the kids left, that's when I struggled with identity because I spent so much time taking care of my kids. So I don't know. I think that everybody goes through this what Anonymous is going through at some level. For you, it was when you had your kids. For me, it was when my kids left home.

00:10:00
Speaker 1: Saying he doesn't feel like he connects with them.

00:10:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's something different. I mean I would encourage him to maybe take up a sport with them, you know, ask him if they want to go hiking with you, or you know, get ask them to a bote a friend or two and do something with your kids. But you know, the other thing is teenagers. They're supposed to be distant. They're supposed to be finding their way.

00:10:25
Speaker 1: In their lives. So I so, what part he's not connecting with and he loves them?

00:10:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's more of a story.

00:10:36
Speaker 1: I think he needs some help. They really do.

00:10:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't don't. Don't feel guilty that you feel that way. You're entitled to your feelings. But I will get some help and see what's really going on in your mind that's making me feel.

00:10:48
Speaker 1: A suppression thing that's happening, you know, you're feeling like you regret but you love your children.

00:10:54
Speaker 2: Well, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. I mean, who knows. But I wonder if there's something an issue with this one life, maybe an issue between them.

00:11:03
Speaker 1: Or with the kids in their life part of it.

00:11:04
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know, but if there's something. And when you say, when someone says they wish they could go back in time and not have kids, what I'm hearing, and again I'm not a therapist, but what I'm hearing is you don't like where your life is and you want to redo. The kids are sort of secondary.

00:11:22
Speaker 1: I can't regret it now you've got three of them.

00:11:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know you don't get a reduce, so you have to learn how to make a good life with what you have.

00:11:30
Speaker 1: I think going to talk to somebody professionally might be able to guide you, yeah, counselor making you feel better. But I appreciate that you reached out to us.

00:11:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, we wish you the best. We hope things improve for you and get some help. You know, with therapy. Men don't typically or traditionally like going to therapy, but you know what, Anonymous in this case, I think it will help you and make you feel a whole lot better. So good luck and reach back out and let us know.

00:11:54
Speaker 1: And stay active in their lives because later you will be real be proud.

00:12:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, I missed those days of going to the games and soccer games, in the baseball games. Okay. Our second one hot dogs, no hot dogs at the ballpark, at.

00:12:08
Speaker 1: The little infield to get homework done?

00:12:13
Speaker 2: Do you remember that? In my case, my kids had to practice the piano, get that done, get their homework done, playing their rooms. Okay. The second one is from also anonymous rights. Hi ladies, I'm a mom and I'm really struggling with some guilt I've been dealing with for years. When my daughter was in second grade, she begged me to come to our school play. I said I would. I even helped her practice her lines every night for two weeks. But the day of the play, a war crisis came up, and I told myself she'd understand. I figured, you know, she's just a kid. There'll be plenty of other plays. Turns out I was the only parent who didn't show up. She told me afterward that she kept looking at the audience, thinking I'd walk in late, and I didn't. She didn't cry, she didn't even get mad. She just went quiet. And that silence, that quiet disappointment, it crushed me. She's a teenager now and she barely remembers it, but I do. Every time she invites me to something, I drop everything to be there. Not because she's keeping score, but because I still am. I'm not sure if it's just me, but I feel like our relationship has never been the same since. What do you suggest I do? Thanks so much, ladies.

00:13:35
Speaker 1: Wow, you got to forgive yourself first of all.

00:13:39
Speaker 2: Yep.

00:13:40
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you've had conversations with her. Like she just said now, she's doesn't even think about it, but she knew the disappointment. There's nothing you can do. I mean, you can't make that up. It's done.

00:13:54
Speaker 2: I'm thinking again, there's more to this story than we're hearing. I think the child was. We're talking years ago, years ago. I bet the child really doesn't remember. And I think there again, But what sometimes? But because sometimes people the symptoms of something else going on, Guilt in a marriage, guilt for work, something spreading herself too thinly from work and family. So she's using that as a marker, if you will, of something else that's going on in her life, because realistically, Susan, we all miss things, we all screw up when our kids are young and don't do the right thing and don't and we're not sitting there twelve years later saying, you know, I mean the silence that crushed me. She was a child. It's over. What else is going on in your life? Anonymous? Again, you got to get some therapy, get some counseling too, because there's something else going on that's making you feel this way.

00:15:00
Speaker 1: And forgive yourself, Babe, you're there for everything.

00:15:03
Speaker 2: I mean, well, she said, I feel like our relationship has never been the same since this child is a teenager, Anonymous. Teenagers don't are a whole different species. And what you're thinking of your relationship with a six year old is not your relationship with a sixteen year old.

00:15:19
Speaker 1: I wonder Kathy if she had that heart to heart with her and saying how badly she does still feel about that, that she won't forget.

00:15:26
Speaker 2: I wouldn't put that on my child.

00:15:28
Speaker 1: I'm saying, I wonder if she's had that conversation I hope not with her daughter, that she's so sorry that she missed it.

00:15:36
Speaker 2: How many years later, are we talking, Susan.

00:15:38
Speaker 1: It's still haunting her though. This is real and I feel bad, But you need to forgive yourself, you really do.

00:15:48
Speaker 2: She her daughter was in second grade. She was seven years old. Let it go, Let it go. This is not about your daughter.

00:15:56
Speaker 1: Also needs the therapist.

00:15:58
Speaker 2: I just said too. Maybe they get a group deal, the two of them go together. I mean oftentimes. And I know this from personal experience. When you say something, even in my marriage, when I would fight with my husband about something, it was rarely the thing I was fighting about, you know, the thing I picked on. It was really something else that was bothering me. And I think that's what's going on here. Yeah, yeah, so I wisht snow. Let us snow.

00:16:26
Speaker 1: All righty Kelly, ladies, I'm pissed and I need your help, Okay, So tell me why I got ghosted by a man after I helped him write his mom's birthday card. No like, I sat on his couch, thoughtfully, helped him come up with a heartfelt message, even suggested a quote from her favorite actress, which by the way, made her cry. And then this man vanished into thin air like he was in the witness protection. He even asked me to take a picture of him holding the card to send to her. I was practically part of the family for two business days, and I know he got the card to her because she DMS me on Instagram to say thank you. I haven't opened it or answered. What am I supposed to do with that? Am I supposed to message his mom and be like, hey, girl, your son hates me. Now we've been dating. Well, we're dating for eight months. It's been two weeks and I've got nothing from this man, not a peep, not a return call or text.

00:17:37
Speaker 2: What do I do?

00:17:38
Speaker 1: Holy cat?

00:17:39
Speaker 2: Go find yourself a new man?

00:17:41
Speaker 1: Eight months and he ghosts her? I mean again, the final conversation. I'm sorry, I feel her pain. Yes, I tell his mom.

00:17:51
Speaker 2: Hey, of course you would. I'm just saying if he's first of all, I would, I would answer the mom. Don't be rude, Kelly, answer the mom and say what are you supposed to do with that? You say, I'm so glad you like the card. I find it interesting here that the mom dm DM me on Instagram to say thank you? So does that mean the mother knew that she wrote the card? Did the sun tell?

00:18:15
Speaker 1: Doesn't know if she said thank you because she didn't open it.

00:18:19
Speaker 2: No, she said, I know we got the card because she DM me on Instagram to say thank you. I haven't opened it or answered, so she knows. She knows she was saying thank you. And my question is, if you know she was saying thank you, she must know that you wrote the card, which is.

00:18:38
Speaker 1: Bubble part of it.

00:18:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you know, I don't. What do you do with that? You write her back? Always Kelly, always stay above the fray. Stay above the fray. Walk away with grace, Say I'm so glad you liked the card, and move on. If guy did. If the guy ghosts you, he's not that interested, he's not that.

00:18:59
Speaker 1: Any months and he's just gonna ghost her.

00:19:02
Speaker 2: That's what he did. Do you, Susan, put yourself in the position of a guy. If you're dating guy for eight months, you got it, he's ghosted you.

00:19:14
Speaker 1: No, that's not acceptable. I'm sorry. That is not being a man. Just say I'm not interested. It's over. I'm sorry.

00:19:25
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't need to hear that. If a guy does me.

00:19:29
Speaker 1: See my brain, I would think something happened to him.

00:19:32
Speaker 2: I would just say, but you know what if something happened to him, Mom would have called.

00:19:39
Speaker 1: The girlfriend didn't open the message, Well, she the foremost, Kelly opened the message.

00:19:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, he could be lying in a hospital room with intraction. But I'm just saying, I don't know, Susan. I guess. I just feel like if a guy is interested in me, he's going to let me know, and if he's not interested in me anymore, he's gonna.

00:20:00
Speaker 1: So you're seeing somebody for eight months, the better part of a year, and then all of a sudden you don't get a response. Two weeks go by. You're good.

00:20:11
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm caught on the guy who wants who's daying me? For eight months?

00:20:16
Speaker 1: You can't move on? You don't you need some closure? Is it over? Okay?

00:20:21
Speaker 2: Well, well let me justa okay, fair enough, I'm warm into the idea. But why wouldn't she text him and say, I haven't heard from you in two weeks?

00:20:30
Speaker 1: What's obviously shed because he's not responding.

00:20:34
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no, She's.

00:20:35
Speaker 1: Man vanished into no air like he was in the witness protection.

00:20:39
Speaker 2: She says, not a peep, not a return call or text. He's not calling.

00:20:43
Speaker 1: Her, right, She's reached out to him and he's not responding. Mmm, your brain, I know you, Kathy, you'd be calling the hospitals making.

00:20:54
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, I'm not sure. Here's what I would Here's what I would do, Kelly. I would reach out to him. If you have reached out to him and he's not answering, move along, little puppy, move along, move along if he because you know what if that's if that's his level of integrity, Do you really want to be with him any of'ems?

00:21:14
Speaker 1: No, of course, not that that makes sense. But my ass would be driving over to confront him, not the face.

00:21:20
Speaker 2: You don't know me. If you think I would do that, I'd be heartbroken. Would I would be heartbroken, But I would.

00:21:26
Speaker 1: Never say leaving it empty. You don't even know why what happened, nothing, no explanation. I think it's less of a man, and his mother would be very proud. Who cares.

00:21:37
Speaker 2: I'm not marrying his mother and you just said he's less of a man. I don't want to date a guy who's who's not a genument.

00:21:44
Speaker 1: So this is not that not after eight months? No, welled me some respect, Kelly. Kelly answered the mother and I wouldn't say your son hates me.

00:21:58
Speaker 2: Now, don't say anything about your son her.

00:22:01
Speaker 1: I would. I would definitely what. I'm so happy that you liked it. He put a lot of thought into it. It's funny though I haven't heard from him in two weeks. I hope everything's okay. Plant the seed a men. Let me know, Kelly.

00:22:18
Speaker 2: We want to know Kelly. And I feel sorry for you, by the way, I feel terribly sorry for you. All right, let us know, Kelly. All right, we're gonna do another game, tough Love edition of Red Flag or Red Rose.

00:22:39
Speaker 1: Okay, it's a tough love. Why are we on tough love? We're going to switch off reading the prompts. If we think it's necessary tough love, we'll give a red rose. But if we think it's too far, we were giving it a red flag.

00:22:56
Speaker 2: And okay, wait this is this sounds like a complicated game this time, but let's go. We'll see because if.

00:23:01
Speaker 1: You think it's too harsh, feel free to give an alternative.

00:23:07
Speaker 2: Oh I love this, all right, this is all right.

00:23:09
Speaker 1: Telling your friend who keeps talking about her situationship. Maybe he's not texting you because he's just not that into you telling your friend who keeps talking about her situationship.

00:23:27
Speaker 2: Meaning meaning she's not here for the guy, and you say, well, Kathy, maybe he's not texting because he's just not that into you. That to me, I give you a red rose for telling me that. Not you know, if he's not into you, that is a red flag.

00:23:42
Speaker 1: It's necessary tough love. Yeah, that's a red rose, right.

00:23:46
Speaker 2: Right, that's what I say. Okay, all right, Telling your friend who's venting about her X again, if you keep going back to him, you don't get to complain about him anymore. Oh, definitely a red rose. Definitely a red yeah, okay, go ahead, alright.

00:24:02
Speaker 1: Refusing to attend someone's wedding because they're marrying someone.

00:24:08
Speaker 2: Toxic, that's not that's red flag. That is a red flag. If you've got somebody who won wed, not your decision. Okay. Calling out your friend for being the toxic one in all her breakups when she's freshly out of a long term relationship, love baby, I think if she's if she's freshly out of a long term it depends who broke up with whom. I think if you, if you, you know, don't hit a dog when they're down.

00:24:44
Speaker 1: No, I know, but if you're a real friend, you're going to have to point it out.

00:24:48
Speaker 2: Not calling out your friend for being the toxic one in all her breakups when she's freshly out of a relationship.

00:24:57
Speaker 1: Because she's repeating her.

00:24:59
Speaker 2: You're going to and my heart's broken because some guy just broke up and me and go like, O, well, Kathy, get over it. You're the tox one that's gonna hurt my feelings and make me feel worse.

00:25:11
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, what I will know. But if you repeat the same pattern. I'm thinking of somebody in particular that repeats the same exact things and then afterwards regrets the way she looked, the way she acted and behaves, and I tried to tell her over and over and over again. Why do you do that?

00:25:34
Speaker 2: Well? I think I think I think that for me, and you're a good friend, you would tell me about it. I don't think you would tell me when I was crying and called you up there. So I think it's about timing here.

00:25:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, telling someone that you're breaking up with them because you're tired of emotionally parenting them.

00:25:52
Speaker 2: That's a red rose. You're being honest, man.

00:26:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess you're right.

00:26:01
Speaker 2: I mean the guy is a red flag. If you have to emotion a parent of guy, that's a red flag. All right. Oh, reminding a friend to pay you back if they haven't within twenty four hours, that's a red flag. By the way, Susan, you owe me five bucks.

00:26:19
Speaker 1: I'm twenty four hours. Like, if it's ridiculous two weeks or something and they haven't made an effort payday case.

00:26:25
Speaker 2: I think it's a red flag if you're doing it within.

00:26:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, saying I love you, but I can't listen to this story about your ex for the thirtieth time.

00:26:35
Speaker 2: I love that. It's a red rose rose absolutely leaving. You know why it's a red rose because you've listened to it for thirty times and you just don't need to hear it anymore. No one needs to hear it anymore. You can't listen anymore, okay. Leaving the group chat because no, this is a good one. Leaving the group chat because no one ever responds to your messages.

00:26:57
Speaker 1: It's a group chat.

00:27:00
Speaker 2: Well, like if we were in a group chat with seventy people and I said, you know, where do you want to go on vacation? And no one answers me, I'd probably leave the group chat.

00:27:08
Speaker 1: Yes' screw it, they're annoying anyhow. Yeah, cutting off a long time friend because they never ask how you're doing.

00:27:25
Speaker 2: I mean that says a lot about somebody. If they're never asking you how you're doing.

00:27:29
Speaker 1: I get that. But just cutting them off because they never asked how you're doing. Sometimes they don't have to ask, you just tell I don't true.

00:27:40
Speaker 2: I don't know about that one. I think I could go either way. Yeah, all right. Telling your child who's in college, Oh, this is a bouquet of red roses. Telling your child who's in college that they can't move back home without paying rent that you actually used to pay for house bills, not money that you're saving for them. That is I'm so impressed to anyone who does that.

00:28:03
Speaker 1: Not you, No, because in today's world, it's going to take time to get a job.

00:28:11
Speaker 2: Oh I made the assumption I have a job. No no, No, I made the assumption the kid has a job and it's just living at home because it's cheaper, meaning free. Oh no, if if a child.

00:28:24
Speaker 1: In it, you know they graduate, okay, you can't come back into.

00:28:27
Speaker 2: Your No no, no. If I read this. Let me let me clarify before I get hate mail. I read this. I read this that the child had graduated college, had a job, was moving back home. I mean, I would probably give them two or three months to get a little money in the bank and kind.

00:28:45
Speaker 1: Of get their jobs. You got to take something, you.

00:28:48
Speaker 2: Know, I'm trying to. After a couple of months, I would say, okay, look, you know you're using the hot water and the electricity. You got to help me for me after.

00:28:56
Speaker 1: They get out of college, and you're going to pay your own self bill. Okay, I'm done.

00:29:01
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh god, you know they make that hard because the more my kids are thirty something before they paid their own car insurance. Well, the more, the more phones, the more lines you have, the cheaper the phone will.

00:29:14
Speaker 1: Become nowadays, but not back then.

00:29:15
Speaker 2: Now, you're right, all right, Okay?

00:29:18
Speaker 1: Refusing to help your sibling babysit because they were never able to watch your children. Oh that's terrible. Oh that's a I'm confused with the.

00:29:31
Speaker 2: Flag in the rood. Yeah, I'm confused. But let's just talk about this. Do you think it's ever okay to refuse to ow?

00:29:40
Speaker 1: You should help if you can and you're available. Why not? Because they didn't do it for you, so I'm not going to do it for you, and I'm not that way great to me. If anything, I'll be like the martyr. Of course I call them.

00:29:55
Speaker 2: Susan, How do you feel want to come and take care of my cats? I mean, I know you don't have cats, but you know it's the same thing, all right. Telling your mom after a stressful conversation that she needs therapy and you're not her therapist. I think that's cruel.

00:30:10
Speaker 1: That is cruel to your mother. Yeah, I would maybe suggest therapy if I thought it needed.

00:30:17
Speaker 2: But it's how you say it.

00:30:21
Speaker 1: Delivery delivery, leaving the family group chat after one more why are you still single? Comment?

00:30:30
Speaker 2: Hell? I not would only leave a family chat, I'd block them all.

00:30:35
Speaker 1: I'd stay in there and just torture them. You tell me why.

00:30:41
Speaker 2: No, Susan be sitting by.

00:30:44
Speaker 1: And then when you do find one, they got something to say about that too. I can't.

00:30:49
Speaker 2: What did I tell you the other day? I'm saying it too for all vaclination, What did I tell you? This is your life. It's time you live your life. For you, you've raised your kids. Live your life. For you, and Susan's like, oh, but I live for everybody to be happy. It's not possible. Everyone is not just.

00:31:08
Speaker 1: That they're struggling with Okay, Okay, go ahead, I'm just still.

00:31:15
Speaker 2: On the single comment. Okay. When confronted by a friend as to why you guys don't hang out anymore, you say we're not close because you were never emotionally available growing up.

00:31:27
Speaker 1: Why the hell says that?

00:31:29
Speaker 2: I mean, oh my god, I mean if if I I'm of specially somehow close, because I mean, you've got friends from when you grew up, I don't because you live where you grew up, I don't.

00:31:46
Speaker 1: So and I choose not to hang out with some of them because they're more negative people. I'm all about the positive energy.

00:31:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't be well, but would you? And so am I? But would you ever say to someone now we're not close? Okay, Susan? When I call you tonight, I was like, I don't want to be a friend anymore because you have not been emotionally available.

00:32:08
Speaker 1: Are emotionally available? We hear each other stories, we cry with each other. I mean, yeah, we feel.

00:32:13
Speaker 2: Each other's pain. It's just pathetic, you know.

00:32:16
Speaker 1: What, Either people out there that would say these things to me, I look at them like they're cold.

00:32:25
Speaker 2: You know what, I think some people are so self involved, so egocentric. All they think about is themselves, what makes them happy. They don't stop to think, how will this make someone feel? You know, how will this make Susan feel? If I say, they just blurt it out and they don't and they don't care. And I will say, as I've gotten older, I think when you're young, we all say stuff. Well, we're much more aware. We don't blurt things out like we used to.

00:32:55
Speaker 1: Well, I still blurt them out well, but I still during the conversation, I say, what's going on in your life? You know, it's not just my phone call about me? I mean, whoever you're talking to, you share and.

00:33:08
Speaker 2: Well you're going. You're right now. Sometimes we both wort things out, but we're either being funny or we're making jokes, but not seriously do I what I ever call you up and say what the hell is you know? Come on, no one, you.

00:33:22
Speaker 1: Weren't emotionally available for me, therefore.

00:33:24
Speaker 2: We're right, So we're done. You were an emotionally available to me on that cruise we're going to take. So you're done, You're dead to me.

00:33:31
Speaker 1: She better not gets sick.

00:33:32
Speaker 2: I'm going to buy Wait can we just say we're going on a cruise together. Well, we're going to go to Greece and Istambul, Turkey and and you know what I'm doing, I'm loading up on c bands, drama, mean big. I don't think on a big ship, I'll get sick. Right, Please tell me no.

00:33:50
Speaker 1: No. If it's rough seas sometimes you feel it a little bit. But no.

00:33:53
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm going to ask you so everyone can know. Are you going to help me pack? What your brand?

00:34:00
Speaker 1: There we go? So you're going to have so many clothes by the just bring it all, just bring everything. I like choices. I love people that say I can go in a backpack for a week.

00:34:12
Speaker 2: I go.

00:34:13
Speaker 1: How you wear the same think she does? Well, I wash it, I go. But the whole idea of vacation. I'm wearing your fun clothes.

00:34:20
Speaker 2: And all these people that buy these clothes that you know you wash them out in their SPF fifty, I mean they look like they just hit out in the jungle for a month.

00:34:29
Speaker 1: Wrinkle.

00:34:29
Speaker 2: You can throw it in your bag like oh oh man and they wash it. Can I just tell you what is poisoned to my ears? When someone goes on vacation and I asked that question, they go, oh, I just wash it out in the sink at night. I'm like, I just gags me, like I wash it.

00:34:46
Speaker 1: I've done it, though, if you can't get to a washer and something, Susan.

00:34:50
Speaker 2: First of all, you bring enough clothes. You bring enough clothes to dress the entire resort for a week, so I get over. I'm just saying, like, can you imagine travel with like that? Those travel pants that everybody.

00:35:04
Speaker 1: Can It's not cute.

00:35:06
Speaker 2: I was going to say, six people can fit into one pair.

00:35:09
Speaker 1: It's all about fashion, you know.

00:35:10
Speaker 2: And then if you want wear that dress, wait, I'm gonna you know, I'm buying you for your birthday next year. Those pants that unzip at the knee too. For one, you get a pair of shorts.

00:35:20
Speaker 1: And I have them in my golf pants.

00:35:24
Speaker 2: I'd hiking pants like that. And when I hike, when I go to a big bend or you know I.

00:35:30
Speaker 1: Have it's cold in the morning, you wear the long ones and then I unzip them.

00:35:33
Speaker 2: I want to see you. I want to see that. But anyway, this was Oh my god, that was so fun. Is there anything else you haven't chatted about today that?

00:35:41
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm mending my arm. It's time to go to physical therapy now and just doing the little have me sore. It's this is taken for it.

00:35:52
Speaker 2: But you want to do them, Susan seriously, because when I broke mine, he said to me, if you don't do the exercises, it'll be deforment. It will never be the same. You will not have movement in your rest and you don't want that.

00:36:03
Speaker 1: No, I don't. Well, I want to thank everybody for joining us today and listening, and what is your take on some of these questions? What red flag rose? I like roses?

00:36:14
Speaker 2: I know I like roses. I want lots of roses, not one a bouquet a bouquet, but until I get the bouquet. Be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new episodes coming out every week. We have more episodes coming up with fan questions, we have more great guests coming up. We're gonna hear about Susan's wrist until it is healed. We're gonna hear about Susan's upcoming travels. We're gonna you're gonna hear about our crews. It's all coming, it's all coome.

00:36:45
Speaker 1: Yes, we love sharing with you. Make sure to submit your questions to us and what happens afterwards, and you can go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour, or you can DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. Thanks for tuning in, guys, We look for over to the next time YEP.

00:37:01
Speaker 2: In the meantime, listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Till next time. Take care,