Hakeem Is in Love! | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour. Thanks so much for joining us today, Kathy, are you so excited to be here today?

00:00:14
Speaker 2: I am so excited because we have one of our favorites. We have a very special guest returning to Golden Hour. Please welcome from season ten of Paradise, who unfortunately left before I got there. Hockeyhikee Hiaki.

00:00:30
Speaker 3: You could have just said all of what was on Paradise with you. You didn't have to say, oh, he loved unfortunately before girl, we know you were.

00:00:37
Speaker 1: Only there for a minute.

00:00:38
Speaker 2: Welcome back that. We're so glad you're back on Happy.

00:00:41
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I'm glad I'm here as well. And I'm your favorite, not one of your favorites.

00:00:46
Speaker 2: You're well yeah, let me just say I just before we get into anything, I'm just gonna give a little teaser here. Susan, while she is smiling, is broken hearted because you've ditched her for another. Apparently we're gonna get it.

00:00:57
Speaker 1: No, I'm happy for you.

00:01:00
Speaker 3: So it is.

00:01:01
Speaker 1: She's appearing a lot in your photos.

00:01:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, what's mine is mine? You know, I got everybody know?

00:01:07
Speaker 2: Ye, what's her name? Now that I've heard it's Monica.

00:01:10
Speaker 3: Her name is Monica.

00:01:12
Speaker 1: Did we meet?

00:01:13
Speaker 2: How do we meet?

00:01:14
Speaker 3: Yeah? So it's actually let's start. It's a long story.

00:01:18
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:01:18
Speaker 3: So she's actually a person that I dated in my past. I met her via hinge once upon a time. So we dated from twenty twenty one to twenty twenty three, and then we had some unfortunate things happen within her family dynamic. That's the nicest way for me to say it. I can be very upfront if you'd.

00:01:39
Speaker 2: Like me to, but that's where want you to be out in the front.

00:01:43
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, I mean there was racist things that were happening in the family at the time. Yeah, it's okay, you're good, We're all good. When I came off Bachelorette, I got like a text message with her and him, with Monica and her brother in it saying like you s were your stupid N word with the er at the end. So it was just like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, but but you know, it's very unfortunate.

00:02:07
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm sorry who wrote those things to you?

00:02:12
Speaker 3: Uh? Her brother her names, his name, I'm not.

00:02:14
Speaker 2: Gonna I just didn't know who.

00:02:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, her his older Yeah, her older brother. But It's funny because he put us in the chat which we weren't talking, and then it kind of brought us together. So it was like it was the complete opposite of what he thought.

00:02:29
Speaker 1: And two years.

00:02:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm happy with her, and like I've told her, like, she would never have to cut off her family, if you know, because I love her for who she is, Like I would want her to have that family dynamic because family is huge to me.

00:02:44
Speaker 1: After the chat, like yeah, no.

00:02:47
Speaker 3: I mean she she after that whole entire situation happened, she made her first move with me like, hey, like, your social media is awful, I can help you out.

00:02:56
Speaker 2: Wait, I'm sorry, guys, I am not following this. She said you dated her from twenty one to twenty three. We're now in twenty twenty six. So what how did we get back to get thirt Did I miss something here?

00:03:11
Speaker 3: No, you didn't. I was getting into it.

00:03:13
Speaker 2: Listen, I have a plane to catch in two hours, so you know, if we could get to the salient information, I'd really appreciate it.

00:03:21
Speaker 3: No, I get it, I get it. I get it. So basically, what I'm saying is is that whole seascenario happened and you know Monica, she's absolutely anti racist and with all that, and she basically told me like, I don't want anything to do with my family because if I do have kids with you, my kids are going to be black. So ultimately speaking, they need to do intense therapy and then they also need to take accountability with certain things that's not okay.

00:03:45
Speaker 2: So and this comes how it was reissed back to get third. How did we rekind how did you rekindle? You said you didd I.

00:03:56
Speaker 3: Just told you, he said up the chest, Yeah, he said the text. And then she made the move, was like, hey, your social media isn't good? Can I help you with your social media? So she helped to me with my social media, and I.

00:04:08
Speaker 2: Was apparently she helped you with a whole lot more.

00:04:12
Speaker 3: No, actually not in the beginning. Not in the beginning. Was strictly business at the beginning. And I respected that from her because you know, if it was me, I would have went in straight away right away.

00:04:22
Speaker 2: Can Susan help him out here? If you think that Monica came back into strictly to use your term, help you with your social media? You need a dating advisor. And Susan and I are here to help you out.

00:04:39
Speaker 1: To there's something you just said about her that she's definitely not prejudiced. And why did the breakup happen then? Because her family?

00:04:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, so in the beginning, it was more like the whole scenario happened with her family at when I took her mom out for Mother's Day for yeah, for her, for Mother's Day for her, and I didn't even get to take my own mom out that day, but I took her out this Sunday. Besides the point, besides the.

00:05:06
Speaker 1: Point, always like that.

00:05:08
Speaker 3: But she first started out with saying like, hey, like, you know, I thought your person was this other person that you were dating in junior high and I was two years in dating Monica at the time, and she was like, yeah, you were supposed to marry that guy. He was the guy for you. And I'm just kind of like, yo, like, yeah, okay, I guess I'm not enough. What am I invisible? But yeah, there was just a lot of things that happened in the I'm kind of trying to not say exactly the things that kind of went on in a sense microaggression. Microaggressions go ahead.

00:05:40
Speaker 2: No, So I'm curious how because you previously did her like, how serious are you now with her?

00:05:47
Speaker 3: Like I would say, in this stage of my life as a whole, I'm not wasting my time.

00:05:52
Speaker 2: Are we moving in together?

00:05:54
Speaker 3: Like? Uh, we're actually in that process right now?

00:05:57
Speaker 1: Whoa, this is big serious?

00:06:00
Speaker 3: What I mean? She she?

00:06:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well you susan in me to find out her ring size. I mean, where are we?

00:06:06
Speaker 3: Let oh I know her ring size? Alreadio, I have that in my phone.

00:06:09
Speaker 2: Okay, so this is where you say, can I do the wedding?

00:06:14
Speaker 1: Okay?

00:06:14
Speaker 3: So right, No, it was more like it was just mutual. We just kind of just came together in a sense, right because I was already this is back in Wisconsin in a sense, so I moved back to Chicago. So and it's such a messy story with how this all worked out, but I just watched you guys to focus on the point is that when all that happened, she checked in on me, made sure I was okay throughout the whole entire process, and then she kind of slid in with like, let me help you with your social media. Obviously, I know she doesn't want to just work on my social media, but I'm not going to say what is it that you really want for me, It's not social media. Do you want to get back together? This or that. It's like a slow process. I would do the same thing if I was in her shoes. I'm not going to go straight in for the kill. I'm gonna go in step by step on how I'm gonna try to get them back. And it works, truthfully, because my social media was bad. It's still not the best in the world. But she's helped me out so much, you know what I mean. So I'm very thankful nonetheless about it. She's she's been, she's been amazing.

00:07:14
Speaker 2: And where do you live? Where do you guys live? And what does she do for a living?

00:07:19
Speaker 3: Chicago? And she's an instructional designer, so like it's like what they do is kind of like they make manuals for contractors, so people who work in like plants, they make like step by step guides on how to do their specific work or whatever.

00:07:35
Speaker 2: A step by step guide how to get came back.

00:07:40
Speaker 3: Or that too, or that too.

00:07:42
Speaker 1: She was living in Chicago anyhow, No no, no, no, no, she was living in Wisconsin.

00:07:50
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, so now so now so we kind of in a sense, Okay, let me just break everything down piece, Okay. So twenty twenty three happens with the whole entire scenario with her family, and a lot of things were kind of escalating, so I kind of removed myself from there. I leave Wisconsin at that time. I was actually living with her at that specific time when I was with her in twenty twenty three, So I leave, I go with my mother. I leave, and I'm just kind of like, yo, I'm not doing that. I can't deal with that. I'm not going to marry somebody whose family treats me the way that they treat me, even though I love her so much. So like I kind of cut it off cold turkey all that. In the third I'm at my mother's house. And then also at the time, I still have my Milwaukee address that I'm paying rent for because I'm not leaving her cold turkey without paying the rent, right, So.

00:08:43
Speaker 1: And then you did Paradise in Between again, and then you went and did Paradise in Between exactly.

00:08:50
Speaker 3: That's why I was going to kind of go into that. So like in twenty twenty four happens, like I date around, I get hit up to do the bachelorette So that I'm like, cool, let's let's write, not like why not do so? Then I do it. I get booted obviously, you guys know. But after the fact, when I was dropped on being on the batch therett, I got these text message, like really aggressive text messages like hearty arc get people and beat you up and all that, and I'm just kind of confused, like where is this coming from in the first place? Right, so dah, I'm just so confused, like like what did I do in the fuse place?

00:09:23
Speaker 1: Right?

00:09:24
Speaker 3: The single man's trying to live his best life. But in that case, she was like whoa like responding to the text message like this is disgusting. I can't believe you would say something like that. After all he's done for us, Blase Bla actually made it made it very easy for us to get back together because it was kind of like us versus her family at that time. So cool back in there, get we get talking and she helps me out with my social media, Like she first checks in me and she says like hey, like I'm so sorry and I'm so sorry that like I didn't see all this much sooner because she was picked up on it. But when you're actually in it and.

00:09:59
Speaker 1: Can see it fear blind sometimes.

00:10:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, So how are things with her family now?

00:10:05
Speaker 3: She does she doesn't talk with her family. I mean, she has a cousin that she like reached out to her after they saw that we were together, and she was like, I always knew you guys were together, and there was some reason why because her her partner is black too. Let's also mention that so her partner's black too, he doesn't go to their family functions because he's heard about the things that her You.

00:10:27
Speaker 2: Know, this whole thing, especially with what's going on in our world right now, this is just more sadness. Why can't people I mean, no one is color blind, but why can't we just treat people with love and respect? I don't know.

00:10:39
Speaker 3: I don't know, No, I mean, it's beyond me, and I try not to make try to get an understanding on why, because there's no reason why. Right, It's a learned behavior.

00:10:53
Speaker 1: So let me ask you something. Did you learn anything about relationships going through all the Bachelor stuff that you're using now that you actually learn something that you're doing something different with Monica this time so that it works.

00:11:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think one of the things that you start to really pay attention to is your time because you have you kind of put in your mind like you have endless time you're with her. You could have another day with her tomorrow or next week, like it doesn't matter. But actually every moment with her it my john's a want goes to be herd but it doesn't. It means so much to me, right because that time that I'm with her, spending time, quality time, or anything that we're doing in those cases, it's like it means so much to me. And also like the effort behind things means so much to me. So like if you're going into a relationship and like you're giving half ass or you're not showing your cards because you're scared and all that, like that's the shit that's like never gonna get you anywhere. So like coming in guns blazing, that's my type of love. Like I'm trying to find my person. I want to get married her and I dated before already. We don't need to go through it all again. Let's see what what are we going to do here? It's either we're going to be a marriage married couple or we're going.

00:12:05
Speaker 1: To just okay, feel like you want to propose at something.

00:12:09
Speaker 2: I was going to ask, are you planning engagement? Because you could do it right here on our podcast. You could let us know if that's happening. We wouldn't tell anyone.

00:12:16
Speaker 3: I could come to Chicago, obviously, you obviously would keep it to yourself. Of course you would. Right, you're gonna put this on this badge happy our podcast, it's going to stay. But yeah, no, I absolutely do want to mirror here and I will propose.

00:12:28
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you.

00:12:30
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, do we have a month? You know I'm a writer by try.

00:12:33
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, let me just throw a month out there so we're friends.

00:12:36
Speaker 2: Can of course not okay, I think it's going to happen in the first six months of this year, Susan, we could. We can take this one of the bank. And by the way, I came just remember see I'm right. I told you I'm right.

00:12:48
Speaker 3: And Susan, that's not you think it's nice out and yeah maybe yeah.

00:12:55
Speaker 2: And Susan is a wedding efficient so you know you could do one stop shopping here.

00:12:59
Speaker 3: To just conflict of interest. You assue me like, is that I can't I can't do that? That's what I couldn't Why I couldn't do it having Susan financed excuse my language, excuse my language, pardon mean marrying you and the wedding, and I'm like, yes to marry Monica. And I'm like, damn because I tell Monica. I told Monica. I was like, let me tell you this right now. If Susan was on that beach, she'll love me to love me to.

00:13:35
Speaker 2: Came I was on the beach until now I know where I stand.

00:13:40
Speaker 3: No, you you're you're obviously your bad. Stop let's stop it, all right, Susan. It's a different level with like this. This has been brewing for this has been since she was on Gary season. You know what I mean? Right when she walked, I'm like that.

00:13:56
Speaker 1: That's why I kept saying, I want to go to Paradise.

00:13:59
Speaker 3: Boy.

00:13:59
Speaker 1: We have changed everything.

00:14:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, Susan season, the ship has sailed? How keep is taken? I want to know, other than this fabulous girl, what is what else is going on in your life? What you know? What can you tease anything for twenty twenty six? What else you got? I know she's taking up a lot of your time, But other than this fabulous Monica, what else you got going on?

00:14:21
Speaker 3: Yes, but I want to make sure it doesn't sound suss because I was in between dating shows and she's my ex. So I just want to make sure everything's clear. On my part. I could always clear things up.

00:14:29
Speaker 2: I don't want people it's clear as much very we got it.

00:14:33
Speaker 1: It's very clear.

00:14:35
Speaker 3: I didn't explain it. Good forgive me.

00:14:37
Speaker 2: So what else you got going on? You got anything you can tease? We want to?

00:14:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, with regards to what I got going on, I'm getting into modeling, so I've been doing some modeling stuff. Me and my you guys know, Brandon Jones, it's like one of my best friends. He's from Michelle season. Him and I are thinking about doing Miami and also New York Fashion Week as well. So I'm getting my getting my comm card ready so I show people about those things. Let me see, let me see. I'm also looking forward to the next season, twenty two of The Bachelorette.

00:15:11
Speaker 1: Aren't you excited about her season? I mean, this is gonna be good.

00:15:15
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so it's gonna be. It's gonna be, it's gonna be go, it's gonna go crazy, not gonna be anything we've seen before. Let's put it down.

00:15:23
Speaker 2: I agree. I'm very excited about it.

00:15:25
Speaker 3: It's not gonna be anything we've seen before because Taylor is really unpredictable and she's very.

00:15:31
Speaker 2: Just like, do you know her personally, she's.

00:15:34
Speaker 3: An acquaintance, Like I met her a few times, Like I met her at the party, the Halloween party. I met her at the hotel. I've got the hotel when we're doing when we went to that Hulu event, yes in La in the summertime. Yep, she was at the hotel of filming and then I ran into them and was super tense. So like, yeah, so I've had a couple, you know, a couple of run ins with her. She's cool peoples and everything, but she stands on business. Let me tell you, if anything happens on my season happens on her season, she not going for that. Let me tell you that right now. She not going for She's not going for any type of liar. She's not going for any jummies.

00:16:09
Speaker 1: That would be me or you, Kathy. We wouldn't tolerate anything either.

00:16:14
Speaker 2: But unfortunately, Susan, we haven't had the chance yet to prove that.

00:16:19
Speaker 3: What do you mean, Susan, you have you were with Keith for a little bit.

00:16:22
Speaker 2: You know, I was never with Keith together.

00:16:25
Speaker 3: God stop it, stop it, Kathy, stop it. You gave you didn't give it a shot at all.

00:16:31
Speaker 2: Now we're friends.

00:16:33
Speaker 1: Damn girl friend friend zone.

00:16:36
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.

00:16:38
Speaker 3: So me and Susan got our people right. If you were to choose any man in Bachelor n Golden Man, who would it be? You? On the spot right now, I asked you right now, just going to.

00:16:51
Speaker 2: Oh can you think? Do you think this is the first time I've been asked this question. I can tell you the guys I'm close with that I'm really good friends with. I love k I love guy Keith. Those are probably the three guys I'm closest with. But we're friends.

00:17:09
Speaker 3: So you would never date, go on a date with see Kissel.

00:17:12
Speaker 2: Oh, I have to take a fifth on that one. See k. You know he's he's got a little some some going on. You know.

00:17:19
Speaker 3: I can't well now that you.

00:17:21
Speaker 1: Know, but prior to know and he was in a relationships.

00:17:24
Speaker 2: Would have gone on a date.

00:17:25
Speaker 1: We would have gone on a date with him.

00:17:27
Speaker 2: I would have gone on it a relationship.

00:17:29
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, he is If you were to if you were to say any so you know, all the golden men and any of the guys in a sense, well, who would you go, like, let's let's think all the golden man if you were to use any men in the bachelor world, right, who would be like? Okay, like I rock with him for a little bit.

00:17:48
Speaker 2: I just we're going to move on here because I already answered. This is called asked and answered, as they say in the court of floors. Answer, So before we let you go hockey, because the is finding about you. Well, we got more questions here. I want to know, uh, now that you're newly taken and not as newly as we thought. Now that you've clarified that you dated her for a couple of years before, what advice do you have to any single men out there who are struggling to date.

00:18:24
Speaker 3: I think the first things first this is I'm actually gonna be real serious about please that that alpha male bullshit that everyone puts in your head that you can't be very sweet to your girl, you can't express your feelings like fuck.

00:18:36
Speaker 1: That really get it over?

00:18:38
Speaker 3: Like honest, excuse my language, ladies.

00:18:40
Speaker 2: Should Hey, let me just say we have some ten year olds listening to this podcast. Let's see, we're cana have two sentences without the F bomb. Just try it and.

00:18:47
Speaker 3: Say, Okay, I apologize. So I'm just saying that, you know, there's always this like alpha male thing that you guys got to be like super outful. You gotta stand on business, you gotta make the girl like goanna chase you, or you can't fall in love on the first time, Like dude, just be yourself. And I know we go into reality TV and they're like, hey, be yourself, be yourself. But that is literally the vice that I would tell anybody.

00:19:08
Speaker 2: That's why I'm single. I'm that's why I'm single because I'm myself.

00:19:13
Speaker 3: So you know, all right, disagree, I disagree. I disagree with you because just because of yourself doesn't mean that's why you're single. I feel, in the sense is a person for everyone out there. And I'm weird when I tell you, I'm weird, I'm loud, I'm annoying. I know all the negative qualities about myself, but I choose not to not do those things because they will eventually come out right, So like somebody's gonna tolerate it, somebody's gonna see the pros out with the coins. And that's the way I look at it. So, guys, if you want to spoil your girl, but don't be weird, don't be a weird.

00:19:43
Speaker 1: Like joy it.

00:19:46
Speaker 3: You can and have just like have some emotional telling.

00:19:49
Speaker 2: Whatever question I can. I've heard, Susan, have you we talked about this. Somebody said that men are nervous about like making that overture, that they like a woman who comes up to them. Do you think that's true?

00:20:03
Speaker 3: Say that one more time, Kathy.

00:20:04
Speaker 1: A woman that approaches a man.

00:20:06
Speaker 2: A woman approaching a man is supposed to waiting for the man to approach her. Like, what's your thought on that.

00:20:12
Speaker 3: Waiting for a woman to approach you?

00:20:13
Speaker 2: No?

00:20:13
Speaker 1: No, what do you think about women that would approach you first instead of all that?

00:20:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you can absolutely do that. I think you can absolutely that if you really want to go for something else.

00:20:22
Speaker 2: Because they say some men are like timid, they instead of being the alpha man, like really in real life, they're timid about doing it. So is that true?

00:20:30
Speaker 3: Oh? Oh, I mean I don't know about with that. I mean, it's it's hard being denied and declined by a girl, but at the end of the day. It's it's the part of our what we got to do. We got to try to shoot our shots. So if and that nature, I feel like the priority a man has to approach the woman, you know what I mean. And there's some very strong women like you and and Susan per se right that would maybe approach somebody, which is nothing.

00:20:54
Speaker 1: Wrong with it's uncomfortable to approach somebody because of the world.

00:21:00
Speaker 3: I wouldn't disagree with you. And I think at the end of the day, I feel like we men have something to prove to the women. I don't think the woman has something to prove to us, you know what I'm saying. So like that is my opinion with like the whole approaching and so forth, because men nowadays, like I know, I'm a good person and everything, but as a whole, men ain't shit. We and you know that you as women know that men as a whole, as a whole category facts, No, you're not wrong at all. We would be absolutely lost without a woman. But I think the problem is there's a standard of what men are supposed to be like, and that's the bullshit that isn't like put into us. We want to be super, super outful. We want to be the top dog. We want to make her love me and make her wanna chase me and all that. Dude, like, is it that?

00:21:50
Speaker 1: Or is it they want to impress their friends and guys, this is how you do it?

00:21:56
Speaker 3: No, real, absolutely, I mean, let me tell you that, in my twenties, my younger twenties, like I would try to pretend like I was a guy who would have like different girls that I would be talking to. First, let me tell you this, girls, I am not a guy who gets a lot of girls at once, you know what I mean? So like I don't I don't necessarily am I the guy that's like, oh I pull so many girls and all that and all that and the third and if a guy says that they don't pull, yeah, let me tell you they move in silence. Who guys who get girls, they they zip their mouth. But anyhow, and the hole in this that and the third, let's go back to the goal and to the to the to the advice I would give a man is truly just show up for the girl, make her feel safe. Don't ever ever ever ask not ask are you okay with it? If you feel like you're asking, if you're okay with it? That's the right thing to do with it, You know what I mean? Are you okay with it? How do you feel? Ask those questions to make her feel like, Okay, he actually cares about me, not just trying to you know, hook up?

00:22:56
Speaker 2: All right? I like a yeah, all right, get the next question, Susan.

00:23:02
Speaker 3: Good.

00:23:05
Speaker 1: First of all, I'm in shock all right about d I want to we gotta go back for just a second. You're dating three women at one time? Did the women know you're dating other women?

00:23:17
Speaker 3: So you don't know the so back when in my early twenties. This is not mean no, I know that now.

00:23:22
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get.

00:23:23
Speaker 3: If you're dating multiple girls, right, not saying that you should or you shouldn't. Right. Everyone has the audacity to do whatever they want in those situations. You're getting to a certain level then like okay, now we're gonna have to kind of pick.

00:23:36
Speaker 2: And sha nothing wrong with the person.

00:23:38
Speaker 3: You gotta have to kind of like you go on a first date with them, you kind of get a familiarity like this is a good person and this not. Then you kind of move to next that go to a second day. You get to know them a little bit more, and then you're like, Okay, this might be a deal breaker, let's talk and see what they think about it. And you kind of get that with all them, and it's sad to kind of figure out if this person could.

00:23:55
Speaker 2: Be your You narrow the plane field, yes, exactly.

00:23:58
Speaker 3: Essentially, though, it's it's you use this as a way to kind of narrow yourself down. And I think people tend to put their eggs in all in one basket and then get turned down and then they're like, fuck, like nobody likes me, nobody loves me. That there's so many people that love you and want you right, just be great, simple, be great and get to know people.

00:24:17
Speaker 2: Do so this next question may be tougher for you. How came because Susan and I recently did an episode where we talked about why dating is so hard right now for so many people. What's your perspective on that. I mean, clearly you have no problem, but a lot of people talk about the art.

00:24:38
Speaker 3: I actually don't have any problem. I'm spinning the block. What do you mean, I'm clearly it's it's it's truthfully, it's truly because we have too many options. We see Instagram, like you see I see Susan for instance, Susan's a batting right, so I'll look at it. I'm like, damn, like, damn, Like is this Am I doing the right thing? Like? Is this always going to be like this if I'm with the person? Or in a sense, so you look and you the other people and you think there's you know, better people out there.

00:25:04
Speaker 2: Oh, but I don't think. That's not the question I'm asking. I think so so hard dating is? Yeah, but do you not you specifically young people? And we get a lot of questions on this podcast where they say it's so hard to find a date, it's so hard to put yourself out there. That's what I'm talking. So clearly you don't have that issue, but a lot what is your perspective? Why do you think so many people have trouble getting that first date or getting around to meet and not?

00:25:34
Speaker 1: I don't think young people have trouble at all?

00:25:36
Speaker 2: Are you kidding?

00:25:37
Speaker 3: Either? I disagree with you too respectfully and the most respectful. I don't I disagree with you. I think I think people in a sense.

00:25:44
Speaker 2: Well define young, huh define young?

00:25:48
Speaker 3: I would say like five and younger?

00:25:50
Speaker 2: Oh no, I was really talking about a lot of our questions are I would say twenty five and above. And a lot of these people say they have trouble, they don't want to go to bars, are sick of the.

00:26:03
Speaker 1: Dating sites, dating.

00:26:04
Speaker 2: Apps, you know, and they're like, where do you date? How do I get a date? But like I said, you you you, this is clearly foreign territory to our game.

00:26:13
Speaker 3: I mean, you just shoot your shot. I mean, when you at a grocery store, you see a beautiful girl, why don't you You can just shoot your shot anywhere. I mean I've met a girl before, I had a library before. Like you, if you see somebody that you think is worth it and you want to talk to them, then it's usually well for a.

00:26:27
Speaker 1: Man, I think it's easier for a woman.

00:26:31
Speaker 3: I don't think a woman should have to approach a man. I think a man should approach the woman.

00:26:35
Speaker 2: Well, so what do you say? What do you say to those people?

00:26:39
Speaker 1: If we're not getting approached.

00:26:41
Speaker 2: They're not getting approached, what do you say and.

00:26:44
Speaker 3: Doing what they should be doing? Just focusing clearly only on themselves because the right person is going to come to you, chasing you. Put the power in our hands you're you're already screwed.

00:26:57
Speaker 2: I'm telling the wait a minute, tell second. That made no sense. You said she should focus on her because the right one's coming, and then you said, don't focus on us because we're screwed. So how is the.

00:27:09
Speaker 3: Who no no, no, no. If you focus on us and you chase us, you put us in the driver's seats. So men is in the driver's seats. So meaning like you have.

00:27:19
Speaker 2: Hard to get, Susan, he's telling us to play hard to get. He's telling us.

00:27:23
Speaker 3: No, I'm not telling you to play hard you get. I'm telling you at that time, like you approaching a man is okay? Personally you can if you would like. But I'm saying, ultimately speaking, I think it's up to us men that should make that first move so a woman doesn't have to do.

00:27:37
Speaker 1: Yes, I agree with you. I agree with you, But I think eye contact would let somebody know that you're on the same page. You know what I mean. If there's a chemistry happening from across the room, you look at each other, Okay, that make your move.

00:27:53
Speaker 3: You make choosing signals like you just give him an eye. Yeah, you look at him. That's the clear sign that a woman is like, okay, she sees you, or if your laughter and she's looking at you when there's laughter all the time, she's clearly interested.

00:28:05
Speaker 2: In the games. We're talking games, Susan. Games play that's a game. Give the little coquettish smile a little look.

00:28:13
Speaker 1: I just crack up.

00:28:16
Speaker 3: Wait, what how are we playing games? That's game?

00:28:20
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so. But the thing is you have to be out. You can't stay home all the time and wait for mister Wright to come knock on the door or miss right.

00:28:31
Speaker 3: In the world.

00:28:32
Speaker 2: I just spent five days in Palm Springs and Lakina, where there are more men over the age of sixty than letters in the out I was gonna say letters in the alphabet, I mean more than sand on the beach. And I mean they just, you know, just straight. I got there out there somewhere. I don't know what they were doing, but all right, I'm I'm. I think that the advice is let the men come to you. Is this what I'm hearing?

00:29:04
Speaker 3: And I think you should date younger too, because the guys, there's this sixteen of m can't keep up with you. Get you, get you a younger man.

00:29:12
Speaker 1: But the problem is if you are of a certain age, and perhaps you're using hinge or or whatever a dating site, and you put your real age down, then you don't get connected. They don't want it. All they see is a number when you meet somebody. I surprise people, as Kathy does, when they find out how old they know you're not. Yeah, tell me more, tell me more.

00:29:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you can put an age range in there and.

00:29:41
Speaker 1: Of what you're looking for, but not yourself, your own age.

00:29:46
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.

00:29:47
Speaker 2: Because the man, what we're saying is the men if.

00:29:50
Speaker 1: They see in their search were number, we're not in.

00:29:54
Speaker 2: That age range. So they just or they see us and they go cute, d ash, she's too old, swipe on by.

00:30:00
Speaker 3: Some of them will, but not all of them.

00:30:02
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:30:02
Speaker 3: Well there's like some girls gonna swipe yes on me and they're gonna swipe no one. Me too. Yeah, it's the same thing for everybody.

00:30:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just right. You're right, You're absolutely right.

00:30:14
Speaker 2: I'm ready. I'm ready to work playing games.

00:30:17
Speaker 3: She's playing games.

00:30:19
Speaker 1: But I like what you said about men need to hear right now, be real right.

00:30:27
Speaker 2: I heard him say, Let there you didn't say these words, but let your feminine side show. You know, you don't have to be a hard asked all yourself.

00:30:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, be yourself, be authentic, be yourself.

00:30:38
Speaker 1: What you see is what you get.

00:30:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, those surprises.

00:30:45
Speaker 1: We don't want to see red flags in fifteen and it's fifteen dates later there's a red flag.

00:30:50
Speaker 2: Well wait, I want to know, do you have any questions for us? I came, I mean you know, yeah, I.

00:30:54
Speaker 3: Mean absolutely, I'm trying to get in here. And I want to hear about your love lives too, Susan, and you're still Is everything going well with you in.

00:31:02
Speaker 1: Your it's galling, it's galling. What that means it's going There's been good and bad, but that Yes, the distance is big.

00:31:15
Speaker 3: It's the distance. Where is he located?

00:31:18
Speaker 1: If Saint Martin on the most beautiful island?

00:31:23
Speaker 2: He speaks French, he is French. He lives in Saint Martin on the French side.

00:31:28
Speaker 3: Okay, so who's gonna make the play? He's gonna have to come through?

00:31:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, what he's what was he?

00:31:33
Speaker 3: What's he thinking?

00:31:35
Speaker 1: Oh, he doesn't come here in the winter, of course.

00:31:39
Speaker 3: I feel that, Yeah, I feel that though, But we can use his house as the winter House.

00:31:44
Speaker 1: Yes, I go down to a couple of weeks. Actually, second time, Dat what's going on with.

00:31:54
Speaker 3: Your love life?

00:31:55
Speaker 2: Nothing?

00:31:55
Speaker 3: Because you're obviously playing games too, because you're over here saying like you want them to approach.

00:32:00
Speaker 2: Uh nothing.

00:32:03
Speaker 3: I got So what's going on?

00:32:04
Speaker 2: I got nothing? Nothing? I smile, I chit chat, but you know I'm nothing.

00:32:10
Speaker 3: So you're not texting, nobody talking to anybody. Nobody found interested in You're not. You don't think anybody in your realm. Since I've saw you and talk to you, you have not found.

00:32:19
Speaker 1: She's not on the dating sites though, so who would she know?

00:32:22
Speaker 3: But she outside?

00:32:22
Speaker 2: Tell me I'm outside all the time. I was. I'm in bonds in restaurants. But you know they're just not they're just not biting.

00:32:32
Speaker 3: Here's not biting. So what exactly you're looking for? Let's let's see that. Let's start there, because I think.

00:32:36
Speaker 2: Above ground, above ground, Uh can move, you know, Okay.

00:32:46
Speaker 3: Personality.

00:32:49
Speaker 2: I don't want to used to guy. I want to guy I used to gout, you know, the guy that doesn't do anything. I'm very active. I want a guy who used to I used to play tennis. I used to Kayak I used to ski. Now I sit on the sofa with a beer and a ball cap on backwards and show you pictures of my dead fish. That's the guy I don't want. But yeah, I'm good. If it's gonna happen for me, it's gonna happen. And if it isn't, it isn't because I am grateful. I have a good life.

00:33:16
Speaker 3: So you absolutely do. And you're gorgeous too, by the way, just make sure if you didn't know that. But the thing is is that you have a youth for energy. So you I think you have sixty and above. You need to go sixty and below. Girl, What I'm saying, like you laughing, you see me and Susan we dead series.

00:33:31
Speaker 2: We're trying to Yeah, I see you and Susan. You got your girl in Chicago and she's got her guy. And say Martin, I.

00:33:36
Speaker 3: Said, no, well, we're not talking about that. We're saying, like you see us, like in a sense, we're trying to tell you need to get on the other side. But I'm saying so.

00:33:44
Speaker 1: Like what Kathy always says. Kathy always says, they want younger women. Again. The number, it's just a number. You're younger than most sixty year old so that I know some of.

00:33:58
Speaker 3: Them do and some of them gon't. What I'm trying to take me home, Golden. If I didn't have a girlfriend, I'll get and get to know me a golden that's just me. But you got to get to find you understand that and really really understand that there's people out there that do rock with it.

00:34:13
Speaker 2: And I want to meet him organically. I'm not going to meet him on a dating sight.

00:34:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't got to meet him in a in sight. It's very overstimulating too.

00:34:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, pain is it's like a job.

00:34:24
Speaker 2: It's a job, like a job. But but hockey. We are so happy that you are happy.

00:34:30
Speaker 1: I am thrilled for you.

00:34:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, we are very happy for you. We want we want to meet back. We want to meet her, we want to see the ring. I think you should get engaged on our podcast.

00:34:40
Speaker 1: A jeweler friends. No one's ever done that is good jeweler friends.

00:34:45
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I got jeweler friends too. We got them. We got them in Saint Martin, we got them locally. Can help out lab diamonds, we got real diamonds. We're multi multi faceted. Over here.

00:34:56
Speaker 3: Okay, you want to talk to Neil Lane.

00:34:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you know, free is it's the best way to travel.

00:35:06
Speaker 3: And first place right here, guys, So it's not going to work out for me probably.

00:35:11
Speaker 1: Well you know what that does it for today's episode. I can't believe it. Thank you so much for our lovely Hakeem. You know we love you. We always will and you're never getting rid of us.

00:35:24
Speaker 2: You'll never get rid of us. And I will tell you how. I came as much fun as I had on Paradise, and I did. I was really sad that you were gone when I got there. I think you left right before I got there, before the.

00:35:35
Speaker 3: I know, I was said truly, I was sad because I really wanted to see you guys, And honestly, I was just like, come on, I just want one more days. Hopefully Susan.

00:35:43
Speaker 2: Susan was not there. Susan didn't she has a boyfriend. She has a boyfriend.

00:35:49
Speaker 1: I was going to give you a rose regardless. Oh I heard you were coming. I was like, yes, Katy's like Susan.

00:35:58
Speaker 2: Yeah. There's just a little rule on Bachelor. You know, if you're dating someone, you cannot go to paradise to yet meet someone else. So she was she's dating somebody. Yeah, I would have given you a rose. Came, I would have given you a rose, and said, Susan asked me to send this to you. I mean you know I would have taken one for the team.

00:36:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, you gout, you know, take the one. Y'all make it seem like it's a job to do to give me a hold on job.

00:36:26
Speaker 1: We had chemistry the first time we met. Absolutely, you know what.

00:36:32
Speaker 2: Speaking of chemistry, I need to go make a drink. I'm really wait.

00:36:38
Speaker 3: Last question, do you guys still talk to April Hall she doing because I.

00:36:42
Speaker 2: Have not spoken to her. She moved to New York, that's all.

00:36:44
Speaker 1: I went to New York.

00:36:45
Speaker 2: She moved to New York.

00:36:46
Speaker 3: I tell Jonathan he should have went to her room.

00:36:49
Speaker 1: I think he was scared.

00:36:53
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, we're gonna leave you on that one. We are just gonna leave it there. Thank you to all of our listeners for so glad you joined in today to hear all of Hawkim's exciting news. Please be sure to keep send us your question your comments. We'll be sure to let you know when that engagement day happens. With Hakim and send us to your questions. Just go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour and send us all your questions and comments.

00:37:18
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, we will definitely be there Hakeem when you say the big magic words. And please listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. Until next time, take care,